God, there’s so much backstory here. Okay, let’s begin: Uma Thurman finally told her story two weekends ago. The Harvey Weinstein part of the story was just what we feared it would be, that Weinstein assaulted her and mistreated her and threatened her. Uma also spoke at length about how she lost trust in Quentin Tarantino after a stunt-gone-wrong on Kill Bill. It sounded as if she felt abused by Tarantino as well (Uma later clarified that she did not believe QT had malicious intent). People began examining Tarantino’s past actions with actresses, like how he strangled Diane Kruger, and bit Fergie and more. Tarantino came out and gave a lengthy interview about what really happened with Uma and more.
Within the same news cycle, Jezebel got their hands on the 2003 audio clip from QT’s interview on Howard Stern, where Tarantino claimed that Roman Polanski’s then-13-year-old victim “wanted it” and it wasn’t really rape. Samantha Geimer is Polanski’s victim and she commented on the audio before Tarantino had a chance to apologize – which he did – saying that he was wrong about everything. As it turns out, Tarantino didn’t just offer a public apology for his Polanski comments, he also called Geimer personally and spoke to her at length to apologize. Geimer in turn spoke to Indie Wire at length about Tarantino, public apologies and the Cancellation Culture. You can read the full piece here. Some highlights:
Her original comments on Tarantino were misconstrued: “I did not call him out or slam him. When asked, I said he was wrong, as in incorrect, about what happened. I thought he knew better now, 15 years later, and did not expect that he would repeat that, because he would only make himself look bad. Okay, I said, “like an ass.” But the sentiment was that he certainly knows better. The wording that he assumed I wanted to be “raped,” I don’t know where that came from, but he never said that. What I was really trying to say to those who called is, I don’t care. I don’t care what anyone says, I’m not upset, this and worse has been happening to me for years. And mostly, I am aware that my rape is being used to attack him and I really don’t like that.
Whether she expected Tarantino to call her: “No. I mean, not personally. I thought that was nice. What if I was really mad? He called to face it personally. I think he realizes that the things he said to be shocking involve an actual person — me — and he wasn’t thinking about that at the time. He felt bad about it. While I had him on the phone, I made him talk to me about some of his movies. Ha, ha. Didn’t want to waste that opportunity. He is sincere in his apology and I told him I felt my rape was being used to attack him by people who don’t care about what happened to me, and I do take offense to that.
On the value of apologizing: “I think apologies go a long way to help the person who was wronged and the person that is apologizing. I often say I don’t need them, but in truth, they always have a positive impact. He is under a lot more scrutiny than I am. If not for Roman and Quentin’s fame, nobody would be talking to me about any of this, so their words, actions and even apologies will always be glorified and criticized. Fame magnifies everything….”
On public figures’ public apologies: “Well, I think if you’re going to apologize, you apologize to the person individually who you upset. I don’t think you have to apologize to the whole world, or everyone who you think might hire you. An apology is only for the person who you feel you’ve hurt and wants an apology. I’m not sure if that has a greater effect on a wider group of people but Quentin and Roman’s apologies were written straight to me.”
Takedown culture: “I think being spiteful and taking people down you don’t like them isn’t helping anybody. We all see what’s happening. If you’re not doing something positive, if you’re not making a difference, stop pretending you are. Just be like, “I hate that guy.” I’m in a weird spot. I’ve been in this weird spot my whole life. People are like, “We hate Roman because of what he did to you.” I’m fine, I don’t want anybody to hate anybody, and you actually don’t give a sh-t about me. What bothers me is that people are attacking somebody else at your expense. Let’s throw your rape out there to attack Quentin Tarantino. That hypocrisy bothers me because I’m in that spot where that happens to me. This is just the way it goes, in my life anyway, and we all say stupid things.
She also talks at length about how she’s actually a big fan of Tarantino’s work and how she asked him about future projects and told him that the Sharon Tate movie sounds like a terrible idea (he told her it wasn’t really about Tate or the murders). She doesn’t really talk about the fact that multiple women have come forward in recent years to say that Polanski abused them or assaulted them when they were children either, but she does say that Polanski’s personal apology made a difference to her, that it made her feel better even if it didn’t really change anything. I think it’s important to point out that while we should respect Geimer’s views and listen to what she has to say, we also shouldn’t treat her like she’s the spokesperson for all of the victims out there, or even just all of Polanski’s victims. I’m glad that Geimer has made her peace with everything and that she doesn’t have any hatred in her heart. But I also think that other victims will feel differently, and that’s okay too. I also think it’s perfectly fine to hate Polanski for what he did to Geimer… and what he did to other girls and women too.
Photos courtesy of Getty.
I appreciate what she says and I am glad she found peace with all of this. However, Roman Polanski needs to pay for his crime and he shouldn’t get away with this. He will have to answer this to God when he dies.
If there is a God. I don’t really believe there is. Otherwise, he got away with it, and his only punishment was living in another country doing what he loved and wealthy while, many wonderful people and children suffer great tragedies in life who didn’t deserve it. Where was God then?
Samantha hates the media and justice system more than she does Polanski. She’s forgiven him. My only hope is the celebs who support Polanski finally get it that Samantha wasn’t the only one. He targeted minors. He’s a perverted creep who has been attracted and acted on that attraction towards underage girls most of his life. He’s probably too old now. The only thing that he wants most is to come back to the U.S. So I don’t want him ever to be able to do that, no matter what Samantha or some celeb petition says.
He shouldn’t but he has and has been for many many years. He has a looong track record of chasing underage girls – his wives re always a LOT younger than he is. I loathe the man and the way that he has used tragedy in his life to explain his disgusting behaviour.
I admire Samantha Geimer for forgiving him as it has allowed her to move on with her life but as others have said she is not the first.
Good on her for calling people on their performative outrage.
“If you’re not doing something positive, if you’re not making a difference, stop pretending you are. Just be like, “I hate that guy.” ”
What a powerful statement and so very true.
I don’t think she’s saying don’t hate Polanski or Tarantino. I think she’s saying don’t think hating them on her behalf is going to earn you any brownie points if you’re not making any other contributions and I think that is fair.
I truly appreciate what you just wrote. “Perfomative outrage” is such a great, strong phrase and I see it all the time.
Yeah, at some point all this frantic #canceling becomes so much empty noise.
It feels good to write a few outraged comments on social media and then you can go back to living your real life.
We make such a big deal out of asking all these celebrities for comments and then make an even bigger deal out of their responses. There’s no real push for actual, quantifiable change because everyone is too busy performing outrage.
And the few worthwile actions like Time’s Up get sort of lost in the shuffle.
This exactly !
If Samantha is at peace with her assault, then bless her. That’s her right. But as we’ve all said, it would be crazy to think that she was Roman’s only victim. I believe he is a sexual predator who is dangerous and needs to be locked up. The fact of the matter is, he has never paid for his crimes. He’s a coward who got the hell out of dodge and never looked back. If your average person did that, he would be public enemy number one. Somehow Roman gets a pass because he’s a filmmaker. He is a risk to public safety and needs to be accountable for his crimes. And anyone who works for him, praises his work is complicate to his crimes.
Ugh, this is such a mess. All due respect to Ms Geimer, it’s not just about her. It’s good to hear that she’s fine and accepted his apology but why do I have to stop “hating” him? If someone makes a statement I fundamentally disagree with, if they do things I find disgusting, it is my decision and mine alone whether I support their careers with my money. I choose not to. That is not actually something she gets a say in. I don’t expect her or any other victim to constantly comment because then these f*cking fools do THIS. They call and write and apologize and bury these women (and) men in well-written bullsh*t so that they feel like some big important person cares about them. If she believes he is truly sorry, that is good for her. If she makes peace with her assault and this crap, that is actually great.
I still choose to spend my money elsewhere.
I don’t believe Ms. Geimer asked you or anyone to stop hating Polanski or support his career in any way. She’s just tired of the outrage about what happened to her being used to further someone’s agenda. She may not be the only victim, but she is certainly the most famous.
“You shouldn’t be able to make what happened to me worse so it’s more interesting,” Geimer said. “You’re put upon to feel bad and be a victim so other people can use you as they see fit.”
http://articles.latimes.com/2013/sep/16/entertainment/la-et-jc-geimer-book-20130916
How in the world does this fit into what she’s asking? Further whose agenda? QT presented himself as the most reformed dude bro of them all. And then people were all “Um no, there’s more. You’ve been an ass forever.” and his Stern interview was quoted. To point out that this wasn’t a one-off and that we may want to think twice about believing him. QT then took it upon himself to contact Ms Geimer, which is how she became involved. Shouldn’t she be talking to him about furthering his agenda? That was my point. He’s the one using her.
I think being forgiving is the only way Geimer can survive spending her life as a public rape victim and having her rape mocked or used to advance some agenda or another. Like she said, this and worse happens all the time. Every time Polanski is in the news again her house is surrounded by paparazzi. Of course she wants to public to let it go, because that’s the only way they’ll let HER go.
To me I feel that there’s a huge truth in what she’s saying. This whole idea of ‘canceling’ people is intellectually immature IMO. And it infantintizes real and serious crimes. I don’t care if so and so is ‘problematic’. I care if they are guilty of rape, assault, sexism, abuse, harassment, racism. I want them to face serious consequences for their offenses.
I’m not saying you shouldn’t boycott or avoid or discuss their crimes (personally I’ll never pay for another QT movie) but I often think there’s a immaturity that just shuts the door on debate and now #metoo is basically a red state blue state issue when it should go without saying rape and abuse are bad for everyone . And becomes more about the outrage than anything actually changing.
Also I think there has to be a line where you just let art be art and not a judgment value on someone’s character. For instance Micheal Jackson was a brilliant musician who happened to likely be a pedophile. Nothing about the quality of his music makes him guilty or innocent.
I don’t need to buy someone’s product to have a discussion. And I don’t feel like buying someone’s work if that supports a disgusting person or criminal. That’s my decision and if any part of it is immature, I can live with that. I’m also not American so if you make everything about red/blue, that’s really not on me.
@Luca76
Took the words right out of my mouth.
Except the let the art be part, cause I do have trouble separating the art from the artist in most cases.
That’s where I struggle with the takedown culture…on one hand it does seem like an immature response. How can we as women say we’re better people? On the other hand, being the bigger person hasn’t stopped these people from doing these horrible things. Clearly. So it’s almost like the extreme has to be taken to shake everyone up. Hopefully that big shake up, and making people “fearful” will also make them more aware of their actions, prompting actual change. Can we hope?
Don’t understand why QT felt he had to call and talk to her personally. Stalker-ish, his personality can’t bear not taking every opportunity to be in full control of the narrative. She doesn’t seem as if she minded but I would give less of an eyeroll at him if he had written a letter.
What? How do you get stalkerish from his phone call? She explained why he called, and welcomed it.
Did he ask her to call the media and talk about his appointment hone call?
Well, Tarantino is a strange person, problematic sure, but I’ll give him this: he has handled this better than the vast majority of men. He has grown as a person; expanded his understanding of rape, sexual assault and sexual harassment; changed his mind; realised his errors; and wholeheartedly and unequivocally apologised for them privately and publicly. He has not made excuses for himself, he has admitted wrongdoing and actively worked to fix himself and to make amends. We need to allow people the room to change and grow to be better. Not people like Weinstein because he is too far gone, but people like Tarantino – yes, definitely. We need to give people who’ve made errors or been on the wrong side of the argument the room to change sides. Otherwise no real progress will ever be made. This is something someone like Nelson Mandela excelled at: allowing people the room to better themselves.
I agree with what you wrote 100%. If you want real change, you need people to aknowledge their own problematic behaviours, grow from that and change as well.
Totally agree with you. Well said!
“People are like, “We hate Roman because of what he did to you.” I’m fine, I don’t want anybody to hate anybody, and you actually don’t give a sh-t about me. What bothers me is that people are attacking somebody else at your expense. Let’s throw your rape out there to attack Quentin Tarantino. That hypocrisy bothers me because I’m in that spot where that happens to me.”
This. I’ve always felt that people didn’t give a fig about Samantha or her wishes.
All the peace for Ms. Samantha Geimer.
She’s had most of her life defined in the media by the terrible event that was visited on her by a predator when she was small.
If she has found her way through it…and it seems she has…I support her in the success of her healing journey.
All the best. There is more yet to come, and I hope it’s all happy years ahead.