If you had Amy Schmuer’s marriage ending by the end of the month in your celebrity relationship pool, you’ve probably lost a few bucks. The 36-year-old comedienne and actress is delighted to be a wife and shared her happiness on fellow comic Nikki Glaser’s SiriusXM show.
On the show, You Up with Nikki Glaser, Amy exclaimed that “It feels f–king good!” to be married. In case you hadn’t heard, Amy married chef Chris Fischer in a romantic beachside ceremony in Malibu a few weeks ago.
During the chat with Nikki, Amy confessed, ”I’m a wife as hell. But it’s still like, a novelty.” She’s taken great delight (possibly too much) in the moniker, admitting “I just have been really overusing it to a degree that’s insane. Like, when it’s completely uncalled for.” She made a preemptive strike at those who thought she made a premature run to the altar by stating, “Part of the thing that’s good about us getting married so quickly is that we’re so in love. Every girl I know, if they get proposed to they’re like, ‘Oh now? Now that I can’t have kids!”
She may be in loooove, but jokingly confessed that she’s misses the fact that booty calls are no longer a part of her life. She said to Nikki, ”This show is called You Up, right? I don’t ever think I’ll get a text like that again. You know what I mean?” She admitted that the end of the late night texts from potential partners “made me really happy, but also really sad.”
And, although Amy loves being a wife, she never let anyone forget she’s a comedian first and foremost, including adding a little naughty humor to her vows, which she felt “sucked.” In her vows, which she admitted took her 20 minutes to write, she praised her hubby, stating, “You make me laugh, you make me smile, you make me feel loved, you make me food.” She then added, “But I promise I’ll keep going down on you, even though everyone tells me I won’t.”
Fortunately, Chris has a good sense of humor. Amy said his vows “blew me out of the water so hard.” In them, he joked, “The other day I lost a tennis match and you called me a f–king loser.” Amy elaborated, “It was all like, awful sh-t” and recalled, “All his stories about me that were supposed to be endearing were about me screaming at him.” What happened to “in sickness and in health?” I am glad my ex and I didn’t write our own vows, although it may have saved us from a few years together if we had.
Amy joked on Instagram about the status of her marriage, posting a photo with Chris on a mountain trek with the caption, “We are already on the rocks.” I doubt that. I like Chris more after hearing the story about the vows and I think these two could be a match made in heaven. Good luck, you crazy kids.
Photos: Getty Images, Instagram, WENN.com, Pacific Coast news
Omg! After this, I totally believe they are truly happy and in love, for realz! Awwww, this made my day 🙂 they get each other
IKR? It’s so nice to read about how excited and happy she is just to be with this person. It’s not all about the ring/wedding/wedding dress – it’s about the marriage. I’ve known several women who were so focused on having the “perfect” engagement and “perfect” wedding, but put no thought at all into what it all meant.
“I’ve known several women who were so focused on having the “perfect” engagement and “perfect” wedding, but put no thought at all into what it all meant.”
OMG, completely. they had no idea what the MARRIAGE entailed, just focused on the wedding. once that was over and they had nothing to put their energy to, they had no idea how to make a life with another person. those are the ones that end within a year or two.
one woman I used to work with married a guy she had been dating since college. she was so focused on getting that ring on her finger…when she did get it, she’d say things like “I have to make sure my nails are always done now that I have this ring on”…she was like “got the ring, now my life will be perfect”. divorced within two years, now remarried.
It a little bit reads as someone who just wanted to be married to prove someone would marry her (which of course was always true).
idk, occasionally she’ll say something that is so clever and funny but mostly her humor just isn’t my bag.
Yes, I am baffled why anyone would be so thrilled about “being a wife”. Wouldn’t you just be happy about having a great relationship and being happy together? I have never understood what is so important about marriage. You don’t need any special qualifications to get married. You’re not special because you’re married. It’s not some kind of award or recognition of your value. I think Amy is just caught up in the novelty.
Like whoopee cushions and rubber dog poop.
I love her IDGAF attitude.
They are cute, but everyone is that much in love the first months! Happy for them but won’t be surprised if they crash and burn in a year. Never get married during the “Infatuation You Are Perfect Just As You Are” phase.
I wonder how it all happened. Who brought up marriage first so quickly and which one did the planning? I would think my DH had lost his mind if he asked me after a month of knowing eachother.
Yeah, I don’t think marrying in the first bloom of love is much of an advantage. You’re far better off waiting until you can see your partner a bit more clearly and assess if they still fit with you. I like Amy generally but she sounds a little backwards on that one, and somewhat like she REALLY likes being a wife (maybe a big motivator?).
I’m trying to figure out who I dislike more.
Amy or Jlaw
The only right answer to this question is Lena Dunham. These two can share second place.
Maybe she was just ‘in character’ and joking, but the about being ‘happy but also sad’ that she won’t have any more booty calls seems…like a bad sign.