I’ve said this before and I’ll keep saying it: I like Cardi B. I think she’s got a really funny, biting, caustic wit. She’s immensely quotable and she’s a self-made star. Does it follow that everything she does and says is completely perfect and politically correct? Of course not. But I’d rather gossip about Cardi B than the dozens of milquetoast nepotism models who can barely stutter out one complete sentence. Anyway, Cardi B covers the current issue of Cosmopolitan – I covered the early excerpts already. Cosmo released their full cover story, and there are even better quotes. Some highlights:
On people who harp on her for not “really” being black: “My features, my nose, my lips, the little bit of color that I have, my hair texture—it didn’t come from two white people f–king each other.”
The Me Too Movement won’t get much traction in hip-hop: “A lot of video vixens have spoke about this and nobody gives a f–k. When I was trying to be a vixen, people were like, ‘You want to be on the cover of this magazine?’ Then they pull their d-cks out. I bet if one of these women stands up and talks about it, people are going to say, ‘So what? You’re a ho. It don’t matter.’”
On the men who are trying to be Me Too allies: “These producers and directors, they’re not woke, they’re scared.”
Her fanbase interactions remind her of high school: “Everybody got different beliefs and different religions and were raised differently, yet you also supposed to be careful you don’t offend somebody. Everybody gets bothered about everything. Everybody got a f–king opinion about you. You always got to filter yourself.”
On the women telling her that she needs to leave Offset: “Since when are all these women dating pastors and deacons? I’m going to take my time, and I’m going to decide on my decision. None of these bitches is going to eat my p–sy at the end of the day. None of y’all bitches going to hug me to sleep and clean the tears off my face, so let me deal how I want to deal with it. It’s not right, what he f–king did—but people don’t know what I did, ’cause I ain’t no angel.”
Who she looks up to: “I’m not going to say an artist, because I don’t know their life.” Instead, she names her mother as well as her cousin Marlene, who commutes hours each day to and from work, raises a child alone, and pays all her own bills. “I wouldn’t be able to do that, ’cause I would be like, ‘Uh, I’m finding a sugar daddy,’” Cardi says, laughing. “But she does it. That’s the type of sh-t that I be looking up to. I’m like, Damn, my bitch works so hard.”
What she says about video vixens and hip hop is very true, and it’s why so many women (like Gabrielle Union, Lupita) were like “uh, this isn’t just a white actress thing.” It’s fine line of wanting women to feel like their stories can be told and believed versus offering reminders that women of color have it harder in every industry, and that their stories are often ignored. As for what she says about her fans telling her to leave Offset… I mean, it’s true? And plus she’s pregnant. We can think, quietly and to ourselves, that she has a messy romantic life AND we can believe that she’ll figure out her sh-t.
Cover courtesy of Cosmopolitan, additional photos courtesy of WENN.
Pretty much all the women who’ve tried to bring attention to this issue haven’t gotten anywhere because nobody cares about what happens to low income WOC. #metoo didn’t forget about hip hop and video vixens….they’ve been straight up dismissed.
She is right but she also needs to rage against the heavy misogyny that has plagued much of popular hip hop for decades.
I thought she was also making the very good point that society doesn’t get how a former sex worker can and should be included in #metoo.
A lot of the problem comes from sweeping generalizations. Like cardi b said, she feels she won’t be heard because she’ll be labeled a ho. And even here, anyone pretty with famous parents are automatically “milquetoast nepotism models who can barely stutter out one complete sentence”. That attitude is not woke any more than that of those directors and producers, and not helpful. People get ignored when lumped and categorized. Be a positive force with your readers! Be part of the movement!
Wiffie- agree a hundred percent 👏
^^^ this
I feel like it’s even more than that. The music industry is so screwed up, is such a cesspool, from top to bottom. I think it gets buried.
Cardi B dropping Fbombs and the P word during the interview.
Cosmo: What were we thinking.
But anyways I’ve said before if they think Hollywood is fucked wait until they dig into the music industry, esp hip hop.
The thing with Offset… I don’t know.
I totally agree that people need to let her figure stuff out. It’s her life. But I also kinda figure she should have known anyway. I mean, a guy has four kids with four women – you know he can’t keep it in his pants. So Its all her risk to take, but I do feel for her.
Yeah, I mean, he’s gross. He’s homophobic, he’s a dead-beat dad (Cardi hadnt even met any of his children before they got engaged, that’s how involved in their lives he is), and he’s a cheater. On a shallower note he’s unattractive and by far the least talented member of his group. He’s got little to recommend himself. If it was just the cheating, whatever, that’s their business, but that’s far from the only reason people think she’s making an awful decision with him.
He came up with the bars that made bad and boujee which put them on the mainstream map so….I would say he is def not the least talented of the act
Having not met someone’s kids means they are a dead beat dad? They were dating for a couple of months only before he proposed. There are people who wait a year plus before introducing a girlfriend to their kids. One, coz they need to be sure. Two, it’s not just about him, there are other people to consider, like the baby mama. Also, Offset is hella talented.
Not totally relevant but Quavo is clearly the most talented which is why he has had the most success outside of the group.
Janet,
I think the point of OP’s statement is that she got engaged without even meeting any of his kids. That’s a big thing. If they were just in a dating phase that’s understandable. Why would I or anyone get engaged to a man without meeting his children and seeing how he interacts with them? That was important for me when I was dating, especially because I had a child of my own. If he treats his own kids like ish and never sees them, then he will treat mine/our kids the same. Conversely, I woudl think that if a man loves and trusts a woman enough that he has asked her to marry him, he would also definitely want to introduce his children to her. It’s a red flag.
This is really real. Hollywood doesn’t care about black women, or women of a class that is “below them.” – when is the MeToo movement going to come for Chris Brown? Never. Because he hurts black women, and Hollywood and its white feminists dont care about that. They dont care about brown women, hip hop women, dancers. Black women are deemed as inherently hypersexual and therefore its decided that these things “just happen” to them. As a black woman who struggled with an-on campus sexual assault I had the police tell me that there was “no reason to call it assault.” I didn’t question for a moment that its because I was brown.
I’m not defending the vile Chris Brown, but isn’t the metoo movement about men sexually harassing, and sexually assaulting women? Has he done that? I don’t know his full story of it includes sexual assault. I think a better question is “when will the metoo movement come for R. Kelly?”
If you follow Tarana Burke, she is trying to #muteRKelly, black women have been trying for some time to get his concerts shut down.
I’m not defending the vile Chris Brown either. The woman who accused Brown of sexual assault dropped the case, so we don’t know if he’s guilty of the crime that the #me too movement is about
I didn’t know that there was a sexual assault case against Chris Brown, but the fact that the accuser dropped the case doesn’t necessarily mean he didn’t do it.
Don’t forget Nelly and Russell Simmons
How could I ever forget that Nelly once filmed a video where he swiped a credit card between the butt cheeks of a twerking stripper?
When I said something about Christ Brown, I was told that I shouldn’t butt in and that I probably only said things when it was about black men commiting violence.
What I said was that he shouldn’t be invited for the Grammys for what he did to Rhianna.
I can only say what happened to me when I brought up Chris Brown in a woman’s group. One of the women, who was black told me it wasn’t a white person’s issue. She told me it was for black people to work out.
This isn’t what I believe because I believe we should support women of color, but I am not going be a white feminist dismissing a black woman’s feelings. There has been more than enough of that BS, and I didn’t want to disrespect her POV or behave as if I knew better than her because I don’t.
Stupidly it hurt my little feelings, but she wasn’t biting my head off or anything. She was just giving her take and opinion. So I wondered if this true? Am I trying to be a white savior, obnoxious feminist? Am I stepping on toes?
Also, I felt the dynamic of a white woman leading the charge against a black man perhaps arrogant and fraught with too many hideous historical implications.
On the other side, I had a white woman say Well why don’t black people care about Chris Brown and R.Kelly? Which I said was ridiculous nonsense and how many black people does she actually know to ask? No answer. But she sure thought she knew by osmosis or something.
I know we are dealing with a racist system, but the metoo movement is a failure if it doesn’t uplift ALL women and give every voice equal value. Cardi is telling truths.
We have a long way to go.
Everything about this interview had me hollering and agreeing with her…until the question about Offset…it’s SO SAD…that I see so many women in my life who…choose to be with men who cause many of the tears that need to be wiped and hugged away…they think that love had to be laced with pain and quite frankly degradation…The one step up and two step back paradigm for love has NEVER WORKED in the history of mankind…yet folks STAY DOING IT!
Sexual addiction is a Thing, and a lot of us women equate sex with love. It seems she is caught up and it’s no one’s complication but her own, NO ONE can save the addict, the addict has to admit.
not sure why you’re assuming she has a sex addiction. love is a tricky thing – period. she’s caught up in this because she really loves him. does he deserve her love? ..imo no, but then again it’s HER decision to be with who she wants to be.
“We can think, quietly and to ourselves, that she has a messy romantic life AND we can believe that she’ll figure out her sh-t.”
Does she have an Instagram? She probably doesn’t want people writing advice directly to her. That’s got to be annoying.
No lies detected.
The Me Too movement is important, but the idea that some stories are more important than others, that some women are in positions that should just accept that harassment (and worse) is just part of the bargain is still overshadowing the whole thing. And it isn’t just coming from men, either.
This. Abuses are being revealed from all kinds of industries, but with some kinds of careers you’ll notice people feel more entitled to shame and blame the women for taking those jobs in the first place. That’s definitely true with sex workers; I’m seeing it being done with women who are models and in other parts of the entertainment industry too. And you’re right that the virtue-signaling comes from both sexes.
Some women like messy men and Cardi seems to be one of them. But she’s not going to be playing the victim or blaming anyone for her decisions, so let her make her own mistakes.
I feel like it’s younger women, myself included, that usually fall for messy men or bad boys or whatever. You feel invincible, like nothing will hurt you and you will change them and YOUR love will be the love that sticks. And the badness is fun! You don’t think anything bad will happen though. (My friends and I have talked about this ad nauseam for years now, and really, I think it’s movies and stories that drive us with these crazy thoughts. I mean, even Mr. Darcy in Pride and Prejudice was like a huge dick. He eventually came around, though. Look at all the 80’s movies, pretty in pink and the breakfast club. But I digress.) It’s not until you get older that you realize that people don’t really change and they certainly only ever do it because THEY want to and are driven to do it. And you’re right, it’s something you have to learn yourself. You have to make those mistakes to really get it. Some women still crave the adventure, but I think most decide to at least try for more healthy relationships
Oh but dont you know that Mr Darcy is “just socially awkward”? Deep down he is just a little boy waiting to be rescued by the right girl. So you know ladies, persevere with your rude jerk and you too could find a prince lurking inside your toad.
If these narratives were so healthy, there would be gender reversed versions directed at men too.
Um, Mr Darcy got rejected because he was a rude jerk and had to do serious work to redeem himself.
I agree, and I hate to admit that some one of favorite movies and tv shows from back in the day perpetuate that message. I LOVE Buffy, but at an impressionable age, I didn’t think there was anything weird about an older, dangerous guy stalking a teenager. Also Dirty Dancing— Johnny Castle wasn’t a bad guy, but to me the message was that Baby’s love transformed him like nothing else ever could. As in, just love the guy hard enough and he will be transformed, which pretty much never happens and should not be a burden for teenage girls to carry. I’m not blaming my subsequent actions on movies and tv, but in my tender years I started dating guys who were way too old and abusive, convinced that my love would have magical effects. I even had one of those boyfriends sneaking into my bedroom at night a la Angel. Don’t even get me started on Twilight and 50 Shades of 💩!!
You pretty well outlined the plot for Fifty Shades of Grey.
I think sexual addiction is a lifelong habit that may form in youth but get worse if untreated.
I can’t find it now, but I remember 15, maybe even 20 years ago, reading this big investigative piece on ‘video girls’ who were speaking out about abuse in the industry. Pretty much every rapper then was named. Jay Z, Diddy, Dre etc. The women talked about being forced to provide sexual favours at the end of shoots in order to be given their pay, about being gang-raped by rappers entourages etc. Harrowing stuff.
It was a great piece of journalism, reminiscent of Ronan Farrow’s Weinstein piece, but IIRC nothing at all ever came of it.
Karrine Steffans, Gloria Velez, Melyssa Ford, Vida Guerra have all made mentions of their terrible treatment in the industry. Buffie the Body is now very religious and has also documented the awful treatment is why she left Hip Hop.
“A lot of video vixens have spoke about this and nobody gives a f–k. ”
where is the lie tho?
I agree, no one cares about the video girls. People see them as not being worthy of respect. After I was raped at 16, I felt worthless so I slept around. So then I was a “ho” and got nasty treatment because of it. Just because someone is a video girl doesn’t mean that she doesn’t deserve respect. It all goes back to the sexist upbringing of women. If you keep yourself pure, you deserve respect. If you’re not, its OK for people to disrespect you. That’s also why prostitutes are at high risk of being hurt by johns. The johns think because she’s selling herself, its OK to do bad things to her.
Agreed.
Another thing that’s not spoken much about in the black community is child sexual abuse, molestation and incest. We pretend it’s not a big deal in our community, and black girls suffer in silence. I know this because I was one of them. I tried telling my big sister, who was 13 years older than me. I said it like a hypothetical situation and her response was “don’t be stupid, black men don’t do that shit”.
We need to do better.
@Snowflake: Thank you for sharing your experience. I am grateful to hear that you survived your experience. Many blessings to you and I wish you continued strength and love.
The #metoo movement has like zero traction in hip hop. Karyn “Superhead” Steffans may have been a bad messenger, but she detailed a lot of it. Maybe Cardi was thinking of her when she said people just dismiss these vixens as “ho’s”, so nobody cares. Jay Z smacked a woman on video. No one did anything, because he’s Jay Z and he’s a legend in the game. Michel’le has gone on record about being beat by Dre. No pun intended. As someone said above, they are just dismissed. There are plenty more stories of the lower tiered rappers, but if the big ones aren’t being held accountable, then, then what makes anyone think anyone will care
I have no idea what to do with music as a whole. As much as hip hop has SERIOUS issues, it’s as though the music industry as a whole is built off of objectifying and degrading women. And the consumers don’t care. People still buy Chris Brown tracks, Dr Luke is still around, on and on. I don’t even know where we’re supposed to start.
And it seems like the music industry as a whole, with just a few exceptions, has been dodging the #MeToo movement.
From the absolute top down to the bottom. We just watched the Grammy publicly president tell women that they’re just not trying hard enough and that’s why they’re not being honored.
The music industry is gross and deeply misogynistic. Yet it has been left intact. So far.
Jay-Z never assaulted a woman. Stop making up lies.
@nik Omg your kidding right?
@nik
Yeah ok. It’s been well documented. All you have to do is go on YouTube and see it for yourself. It seemed to have been backstage somewhere. He just walks by surrounded by an entourage and mushed the chick right in her face hard enough that her head tilts back.
Don’t know if CB will let me post the link but here it is:
https://youtu.be/IRy6ElxxylM
Nik – this is the problem why #metoo has never taken off for hip-hop, Mostly those who are black defend others who are black and say that people are lying. So for a white women to accuse a black man – he would be defended. The black community needs to lead this and take down hip-hop. Without the black community taking the lead there is nothing that the white community can do.
@Sherri-this isn’t on “the black community” it’s on the community period because they are not the only ones who support hip-hop. People like Dr. Dre have apologized for things because they KNEW they could go no further without doing it. The woman he assaulted beat her drum for YEARS before the apology happened and there were lots of people who supported her. And as usual, it was black women where going out on a ledge doing it. For those who still support certain people, there are just as many who don’t rush to protect people who quite frankly don’t need protecting.
And let not forget saint Tupac.
I once had a discussion with some guy who said a man can do whatever he wants to a sex worker “since he’s paying “. I’m not saying Cardi is one, but what he said shows the mentality of people about women in sex related jobs. It’s revolting how they have more respect and care for a rented property than for human beings. No one thinks it’s ok to tear a rented house down.
Let’s not forget 80’s glam band hair bands had video vixens as well, it’s not a strictly hip hop thing although hip hop definitely became popular in an era where things got more vulgar in videos. I laugh that MTV banned Motley Crue’s ‘Girls Girls Girls’ video in 1987 because of the derogatory depiction of women because it was mighty tame compared to what came later and what was never banned!
She’s got a point and I’d take it further to music in general. Not one rock nymphet has come forward. Or At least received coverage. The music biz is a sewer so there must be stories. Hmmmm
It is simple really. Society as a whole devalues black women and so does the black community. We are not the perfect victims by any stretch. There is nothing that is deemed worthy of protection. I grew up in an abusive household where my dad did neat and emotionally abuse us all. My mom called the police but the police often did not care.
Studies have shown that black women suffer partner violence 35% more than white women and 2.5 times more than women of other races yet we are way less likely to use social service resources created for these issues. We do not report often because we fear for the historically brutality of the prison system against black males. We want to protect them
But also there are the harmful stereotypes against black women. We are seem as too masculine and not knowing our place that we must be controlled. Or we are seen as resilient and super human strong that we should just endure all of societies abuses against us.
My grandma always used to say that slavery did a number on black men. It did. They often want so badly to join in the benefits of white supremacy that they take whatever power they can get and unfortunately the only power they have is that which they can exercise over their own women.
I would need way more fingers and toes to count how many times I have seen black men dog black women in white spaces for the benefit and entertainment of white people who agree with their negative assessments and also do so in black spaces, again for the benefit of fellow black men who agree with their assessments.
Black women as a whole seem to want to better the whole community and as a result we often focus most of our attention on the betterment of black men who we feel need to be uplifted and restored while ignoring black girls and women. We make excuses for black men and their actions due to them being victims of white supremacy and slavery like we’re not victims too.
I think so many black men think equality means for them to be on the level of the white male and not trying to help the whole community. Again, I see this in how many black men feel that white women are who they should marry once they have made it. As a whole black women truly want to improve and have true equality because we know what it is to truly be the bottom of the totem pole.
Sorry for the long novel but this is something I am really passionate about.
Mia, that was one of the saddest but clear explanations I have read about this phenomenon.
Because I love hip hop and have since I was a kid being bullied it holds a special place in my life. The beats, the truth, poetry and refusal to be ignored just hooked me forever. My kids have favorite old school tracks that I play on my turntable and play Mama DJ.
I would go to hip hop clubs wherever I was traveling because of my love for it. My husband does too, so he passed that test. 🙂
Anyway, what I noticed as sometimes the only white person there and being a woman that some of the black women resented my presence. I was accepted at my regular hangouts but not at other places all the time. It didn’t matter that I was there with black people. If a big name was there, it was worse, but someone explained it as you did but not as clearly.
This is a part of intersectional feminism that is rarely discussed because some white feminists don’t understand it. It also explains some of the justified hostility.
That is adorable that you DJ the old school hip hop for your kids. You seem like a cool mom and just a sweet person in general.
My mom used to play me and my sisters some Motown, Jazz and Blues records on her record when we were young too. Haha not as hip as hip hop haha but she was so excited to share piece of her with us and we did appreciate it a lot.
All the comments I read from you to other posters/on other threads are always thoughtful and do come from a place of understanding. I hope it doesn’t offend you in the slightest when I say that I wasn’t surprised when you said you were Jewish in a comment I read long ago. I feel like it is because you come from a culture and a people so abused by society from antiquity that you get it so much. It is the same old shit but just by another name.
I don’t have a problem with black men going for white women because people should be able to love who they love in a perfect world. Date who you want but you don’t need dog the women of your race while doing it. Other groups of people see this lack of pride and just further solidifies and justifies anti black sentiment.
You won’t believe how black men are ingrained with the problematic thinking similar to Eldridge Cleaver. My own uncle was a ‘black supremacist’ in the late 1960’s and early 1970’s. He was also a hotep fool who went on long rants about the greatness of Africa and and black men, treated his first black wife and children like absolute shit and then threw them away once he found a white woman. He treats his current white wife like she walks on water and gives her every material comfort. But still continues to have long rants about black men being better than white men while she just sits there smiling as he insults her whole race and that is not okay either. I have told him it isn’t okay and he just rants that I am an angry black woman etc…the usual dogging out.
Not all cases are as extreme nor or all black men as evil in their hatred but they do equate us as being a reminder of suffering and slavery whereas they see white women as an ideal and a symbol of freedom. It is messed up and harmful to all parties involved.
@Mia
Thank you for your kind comments. 🙂 It is lovely of you to respond.
You didn’t offend me at all. I welcome thoughts or questions and don’t mind different viewpoints or questions or debates or provocative topics as long as it is civil and respectful for all involved. No worries. I am proud of my heritage, imperfect as it is sometimes, it is mine and a big part of me.
You are right that being a maligned minority helps me to understand how it feels to be different and disliked just because of who you are. I know how it feels when a hate crime is committed and feeling like no one cares. To hear the dog whistles that no one else seems to comprehend and hidden meanings behind words and intentions. Sometimes it is exhausting to be different. This past election made me realize it isn’t enough to be accepting of others but that it is important to listen and empathize. I needed to understand that other’s suffering is my burden too and let their pain be recognized and heard. I mess it up and get it wrong a lot, but I am not going to give up and stop trying.
White feminism has failed women of color on every front and hurt you in the process. The statistics in several areas show this. It isn’t acceptable. I don’t like feeling dismissed so I shouldn’t tolerate it for others.
I can’t express how much I appreciate and thank you for sharing your truth. It is an education. Wacky uncle included. lol
As for my DJing skills I like making fun memories for my children and just plain enjoy their company. Your memories about your mother are heartwarming. I could imagine it in my head, and it made me smile. 🙂 Music never fails to lift spirits, and we can use a lot of that these days.
Just popping in to say how lovely this was to read. You both seem like people who have thought deeply about the world we live in. This kind of supportive dialogue–not without differences of perspective/opinion, but with respect for both–is really what we need right now.
Exactly Mia! As a black woman, I too recognize that we have been designated the mules/superheroes of the black community. We spend so much time caring for others while ignore what’s best for our own preservation/safety. It’s depressing, really.
Exactly! Mules is damn right and there is no winning because while the onus is on black women to solve the problems of our communities they never miss a beat in also blaming us for all its problems too. It is just spiritually draining and such a thankless job.
In spite of all the obstacles put in front of us we are excelling on so many levels. We are becoming more educated than ever before and really trying to move forward. This can’t even be celebrated though because so many black men will say that we have it easier being women and that white men allow us to excel as we are non threatening. I can’t even begin to get into the ridiculous of it all anymore. It is exhausting.
Thank you @Mia it’s all truth and I’m so tired of being in this position. I spend every spare minute dreaming of anywhere I could go in the world where it would be better but everywhere BW go, there is something. It’s breaking me tbh. I am so so tired. Couple that with working our asses off to make it and years later still making a pittance compared with those who are not even a tenth as qualified because they have the d**k or the skin color for the advantage. Viola Davis spoke on this and she’s a movie star. Think of the rest of us…I’m just tired. so so tired.
I agree but isn’t that because the war has been against the white male? Of course lots of black producers/agents etc abuse women of colour but the war of the moment seemed to be on white men. If the war moves to black men, the WOC arguments will come out of the woodwork.
‘Everybody gets bothered about everything. Everybody got a f–king opinion about you. You always got to filter yourself’
Of course you do. If I verbalized every brain fart I had I’d get fired. The psyche wards and prisons are full of people who don’t filter themselves.