Earlier this month, Hilary Duff announced that she and boyfriend Matthew Koma were having a daughter. Hilary is mom to six-year old Luca, her son with her ex Mike Comrie. In her Instagram announcement, she mentioned how excited they were to welcome their “little princess.” The other day, Hilary posted further proof of her delight with a video from her gender reveal party. In it, the guests blow poppers that reveal flumes of pink smoke and Hilary goes airborne from exhilaration. It’s pretty cute.
I gotta say, I find gender reveal parties risky unless you absolutely do not care what the sex of your child is. I’ve accompanied friends to their ultrasounds when they found out the gender and it’s awkward when one or both parents were hoping for one gender and that’s not what’s revealed. But that was with three of us in a doctor’s office, I can’t even imagine what it would be like in a big party setting. Although, I guess an actor could fake it better than my friends could. But, as we saw, Hilary had hoped for a girl and that’s what’s she having. As she told Ryan Seacrest:
“I have a boy already — which would have been great, and I’m obsessed with Luca — but I just wanted one of each.
“It was funny that I cared so much. My sister has girls and I feel like I’m really girly. But obviously for the past six years, I’ve bought, like, monsters and trucks and planes. Luca is into all the boy stuff, so everything is blue and green. I was just ready for pink and purple stuff. I was so excited. It was really fun.”
I get what Hilary is saying. I don’t think it’s unusual for parents to have ideas about what genders or how many kids they think they want. (Disclaimer: of all the parents I’ve known who’d hoped for one gender pre-birth – including myself – those feelings completely vanished when the child arrived. It’s like when Mark Ruffalo was cast as the Hulk – we all thought ‘oh, I love him but that’s not who I’d hoped for.’ And then we saw him in the role and couldn’t remember a time when he wasn’t the only person who made sense playing that part.)
Both CB and I have speculated what they will do with Hilary’s pregnancy on her show Younger. The show just gave her character, Kelsey, an opening to cover it so we’ll see. Are any of you watching this season? I’m not feeling it so far. I’m glad everything is coming to a head, but I feel like I am going to come out of this season hating everyone except Diana and Maggie. Although, as far as Kelsey goes, I think she has the widest character arc so far and the way things are going, that’s only going to get wider so Kelsey might just be the one I end up rooting for after all.
Photo credit: WENN Photos and Instagram
How do these work (its not a thing in Ireland), do you get the results in a sealed envelope then give them to a cake maker/party planner etc?
We found out, only because I’m a total control freak but we had no preference and I had no clue what it was. I’ve seen some of these videos where men go nuts over a boy etc and it makes me a little iffy, like would that have been your reaction if it was a girl and vice versa?
Younger talk: GODDAM it Charles, get it together!! She lied ok but maybe hear her out about how it happened and how desperate she was for a job. And also less Josh, sorry I know Nico is probably lovely and I love seeing Debi Mazar but no, he’s run his course as a character
I agree 100% – I want Charles to hear her out. I also think Josh needs to be phased out. He’s kind of a nothing character now. I really wish she could get with Charles and perhaps see him in secret so there’s still some angst and drama. But of the fun kind!
Love Diana and the plumber though. That made me happy! She deserves to be happy! I can’t believe we now have to wait 2 weeks for the next episode.
I loved when he pulled up in the van, her face. She’s amazing!
Her jewelry is epic, whoever the accessories buyer is for the show must have a field day!
The Charles stuff I can see happening, he’s hurt and upset but there’s still SO much tension there. Kelsey was mad too at first.
Wait- how did they give Kelsey cover to be pregnant? What did I miss? Could she move to DC for a bit? I don’t think she’d do that given how much she loves her job
I was worried they’d have to drag the Charles thing out because they just got picked up for next season but the show doesn’t seem to dwell on anything for too long. But he really needs to get off his high-horse because isn’t Pauline still in the dark about him and Liza? Although, he smolders so well under his stoicism mmmmm…..
Love Diana and her connected plumber. But I really need both Helen and Zane to get their fabulous back. I’m tired of the show’s patina. I want shiny, pretty, marvelous things when I am escaping real life.
Nico said there is no way Liza and Josh are done completely but geez, I hope he’s wrong about that.
@A – I just thought she might get pregnant with Zane’s kid, which would allow that relationship to move in an interesting direction. I think that’s why he was such a caregiver to her at Diana’s party.
She really is fantastic. Such a funny character, and I loved how pleasantly surprised she was on the date too.
Her ensembles are out of this world amazing and perfect for her character. The earrings on that date were fantastic!
Yes, I think Charles is dealing with so much at the moment. Especially with the ex coming back and bringing up all of that hurt. He will come around, but I don’t want Josh to sneak back into the picture whilst he’s coming to terms with it. I do like that Liza hasn’t just given up on Charles. You can see that she really cares about him!
Hi, Lindy. Hmmm…. I don’t get these gender reveal parties, either. I mean, I get them, but, being a private person (no social media – nope, none), if I was ever to gave one (ha!), it would be a private affair for family and close friends only, not the the world. I mean, they are the only ones who really care, anyway. Sadly, these parties have become a thing here, too. 🇦🇺 This whole oversharing thing really gives me the irrits. (Don’t mind me, people – I was prescribed new meds today, and the first dose has made me quite nauseous. I’m not usually so grumpy.)
Aww hope you’re feeling better soon xx
I’m not sure but my guess is you give the sealed gender info to the cakemaker or balloonmaker (whatever is used to reveal) and they make it with whatever color.
Do i have to bring a present to a gender reveal party? Because i’m getting tired of having to cough up presents for all these baby parties. Just stop. We know you’ve procreated and that you’re excited about it but we in general just pretend to care because you’re our friend. And all this shit is costing too damn much…
I buy a book to newborns (baby showers and gender reveal parties are not done in my country), useful and not expensive 😉
Is this a party they have instead of a baby shower? People seem to have a gift getting party for anything and everything, especially the rich and famous. Gimme more presents
Yes Moonie, preach it. I am an aunt to six smalls and I am tired of forking out for every fart they take. Every birthday, communion, confirmation, school trip all need me to hand over something. Every Christmas they get a big stocking of gifts for each kid and then the parents don’t even send me a Christmas card. I want to be festive too damn it!
Yes! I love you, Moonie! 💗
My cousin did a “meet and greet” once the baby was born. No shower or anything before hand…only had to give one gift !
I’ve been to several (ugh kill me) and never brought a gift. I don’t mind doing a baby shower for a first child, or if there is a huge age gap, but yeah I’m not a big fan of showers for each child or gender reveal parties.
I’ve known people who buy a “boy” outfit and a “girl” outfit to give one for these parties. I just go for the cake (and two of these were for my sister in law- she had multiple reveal parties and showers for her two years apart daughters).
I get this frustration. I have kids and I had one shower (that my mom threw) and tried to have small first birthday parties and then subsequent parties were made up of playmates and friends of each kid. I know my child free friends don’t want to be there.
I was devastated when I learned I was expecting a boy. I was persuaded it was a girl, I felt it in my flesh, lol. Now I am very happy with my sweet little boy.
I am annoyed at the color thing. Like how Luca is the one responsible for his tastes when Hillary clearly starts gender stereotyping when the baby isn’t even born?
How do you know she’s gender stereotyping? Those may just be the colors her son likes. These assumptions are tiresome 🙄
Did you read what she’s saying about her daughter? That’s how I know.
Well, a young girl in the neighborhood was just showing me her purple and pink “new” hand-me-down bicycle from her older brother — who, she explained, just really really liked purple so that’s what he got when it was new.
I’ve heard parents say kids play with the “other gender” toys and like the “other gender” colors until they get to school. Then somebody inevitably brainwashes the gullible little darlings into thinking boys don’t do that/girls don’t do that. I think boys are probably more susceptible than girls today for various reasons. The boys have a much harder road if they want to even just keep their favorite colors.
And in some families, the brainwashing starts with the parents or grandparents. I once figured that you would have to raise your kids on a deserted island to keep them away from such influences. Even one random comment can be enough to undo years of egalitarian child raising.
Yeah, that’s what I noticed too, he didn’t decide by himself which colors are boy colors. Kids don’t even know colors until 2-3 years old, let alone to attribute gender to them.
It’s a societal issue, but his mom is obviously very much supporting it.
anybody judging her for using pink and purple at her baby gender reveal party are the ones with issues. The lady is excited to be having a baby girl, say congrats and move on. I’m sure she’s not going to force the kid into wearing those colours when she’s old enough to decide. Jeez
I don’tknow what issues would that be. I don’t care about the color a child likes, I buy my daughter what I like (still), starting from pink t-shirts, kitten dresses to blue sweatpants and dinosaur t-shirts.
She is still a girly girl, likes dolls, plays cooking and tea, asks to wear dresses, wants me to paint her nails. Color has nothing to do with her girliness.
And if she liked cars and dinosaurs, I wouldn’t think she was less of a girl for it, and I’d buy them for her.
Who cares what colours she uses? She’s having the baby, she’s excited to have a girl. Just because some people are all offended by gender stereotyping doesn’t mean a mom having a baby should use all netreul colours. Lots of boys like to be boys and lots of girls like to be girly. Give it a rest of the gender stereotyping.
Congrats to Hillary and her family, she’s clearly very happy and excited.
Yes, but boys being boys and girls being girls has nothing to do with colors, the color thing is clearly imposed by society.
Some centuries ago red was a manly color, and blue girly. I buy my daughter whatever I like, sometimes on boys department, and since she is still a bit depraved in the hair department people sometimes confuse her for a boy and then apologize saying that “it’s because her hair, despite her obviously girly clothes” (from boys department). My point is that people don’t even know what colors are girly, they just learn it by heart from what society tells them, ant it’s completely stupid because who cares who wears which color.
And my point is that it’s her baby and her party. If she wants to use pinks and purples she should do. You say it’s completely stupid who cares who wears which colour, then why do you care if she’s using those colours to celebrate her baby girl.
I care because I don’t like what she implies toward genders.
Oh, no, I don’t care if she uses pink to anounce it’s a girl, I’m just noticing that she is supporting that color stereotyping and that I doubt that her son chose those ‘manly’ colors to like, he probably wasn’t around much yellow or red to begin with.
And I’m only this invested in the color thing because it’s very evident with baby’s and small children- for girls you only have kittens and unicorns to choose from, and for boys everything is so dark and grim- black, grey, blue, green.
But ultimately I think it’s trivial and as you said, when kids grow older they choose what they like so it doesn’t matter much what color they wore at 7.
Although I do think that Hillary gender stereotyping via colors kinda shows that she gender sterotypes in other things.
I really wanted a girl and ended up having 2. Now that one is a teenager, I’m thinking maybe I should have hoped for a boy! Lol
I was the same, hoped so much for a girl. She’s almost six now and I already see my teenage self in there. I’m sure my mother is laughing lol
Boys can be hell raisers as teens too !
Teenage boys smell terrible for about four years until their hormones settle down.
Will probably sound like a grinch, but I find gender reveals so tacky.
Same
This! I find it to be really self-centered.
Also, I am pretty much sure I would want to know the sex of my baby before anyone else.
Not at all. I don’t like gender reveals. I have 2 small kids. I went the the ultrasound appointments and found out. Went home and told my husband. Texted the grandmas and aunties. It was enough. I don’t know why people feel the need to have a party. It’s so self involved and indulgent.
I hate them because they are
1. Another excuse to celebrate people for procreating, which usually (notice I said usually, I know it’s not this way for everyone) is not that big an accomplishment and is already accompanied by approximately 204 other celebrations
2. Makes a huge deal out of something that shouldn’t matter. Why, in 2018, do we need to get excited if a baby is one gender or another? It seems really backward and reinforces the idea that gender is a binary and you can only be the gender you’re assigned before you’re even born.
The whole “pink” is for girls and “blue” is for boys needs to stop. Also, you’re right, gender shouldn’t matter but unfortunately to a lot of people it does.
Agreed. As a straight, white cis-lady feminist, I think gender shouldn’t matter this much in 2018, but I also want to point out some ink has been spilled about these parties by some transpeople as well — for whom gender (at least post-infancy), and the revealing of gender, matters very much.
That being said, I’ve been thrilled for my friends who have each found out they are expecting little girls to become siblings to the boys they already have. Ya know, I understand Hilary’s glee and all, and good for her.
Same. I have two children and I never had one. The ones I have been to were lame and I just wanted the cake. You had to vote your guess, wear team boy or team girl badges or wear a fake mustache or bow etc. It was not my scene. My sister in law had two and I cannot stand some of her friends, they are very “extra.” Her and her husband facebook lived the whole thing for anyone who couldn’t attend. Then two years later she had another one and had the great idea of having my niece dig into a cake (like a smash cake) to find out the sex. She kept giving them a side eye because she just wanted to eat the cake with a fork, but I guess that wasn’t my sister in laws vision. They facebook lived this one too.
The ultrasound tech just asked me if I wanted to know and I said ok sure and then called my family and friends to tell them. I am not trying to sound like a Debbie Downer but I hate this trend, it’s soooo tacky.
You’re not alone.
My sister and I were both pregnant at the same time, I remember her being pretty jealous that I was having a girl. She’s a very girly person, lots of jewelry, clothes, make up, I’m the opposite of her. But I guarantee you when she had her son, she wouldn’t change anything. She has two boys now and I’ve never heard her once say she wished for a girl since she had them
I have a boy – 15 months. Until the moment he was born, I hoped and believed he was a girl. Now, he’s the light of my life, but I still wish he’d been a girl.
I think it’s ok when people do a little gender reveal thing at the baby shower, but a whole new party for the gender reveal is weird to me.
so tacky. literally no one cares. I had a beautiful baby shower and never would have asked for a gender reveal as well.
I’m sure Hillary cares. Her mom and sister probably do as well. You literally don’t care. But you commented so you must have cared a little.
Her mom and sister probably care. But a lot of people who do care still don’t want to go to all of the parties related to babies. I didn’t want to go to the shower for my SIL’s second baby. To me, second baby showers seem indulgent (depending on circumstance of course). I hate sitting through the dumb games, watching what everyone bought and having to put on a fake smiley face when I get asked for the millionth time “oh when are you and your husband going to have yours? They’re going to need cousins”.
I care about the upcoming arrival of my niece and more recently my nephew. I was interested in the gender out of curiosity and I’d made a bet with my husband on what the baby would be. And I cared about the name, and whether they were healthy and if my SIL was doing okay. But I absolutely loathe all the parties involved.
Maybe it’s just my friends and family but the gender reveal parties are just that. A party that reveals the baby’s sex. No gifts are required. Just a time for the couple to celebrate together (as most guys don’t come to the baby shower). Some times people bring gifts but they are mostly small things or handmade.
I agree that second baby showers are tacky and people are now calling them “Baby Sprinkles”. They aren’t as full blown as the first one. Another thing (and this could be just my friend group) no one plays those games anymore, Mostly its just brunch.
It’s not a gender reveal. It’s a biological sex reveal. They won’t now the gender for a few years, or longer. Or the child may be gender neutral. I speak from experience.
Chill
Edit: +1 to Aang.
Or maybe some people belive its the same thing.
People believe lots of things that aren’t true.
What the?? Gender is not a multiple choice question. There are some exceptions to M/F but it’s not the norm.
I think if a parent-to-be wishes to throw a gender reveal party as part of their excitement then have at it. I’ve never brought a gift to a gender reveal. No way. You’ll get a gift at the shower and if you’re close to me you’ll get a gift in the hospital (for mom only though!) I also wouldn’t/didn’t have a gender reveal party since I personally think it’s a waste of money, but I won’t begrudge someone else’s excitement. Congrats to the happy mama!
I think it is cute. But I am on the fence with the color used for a gender.
A friend of mine and her husband did the gender reveal for their little boy, so he could find out his sibling gender and make him part of the experience. He got so excited when he cut the cake and found out he was having a sister.
I see no problem wanting one or the other, I don’t think a lot of women will admit it because the sanctimoms usually come at you with “you should be happy with a healthy baby” bullshit. Which of course is true, but it’s ok to want a girl or boy too! I wanted a daughter more than anything in this world, my mother isn’t the greatest and I think I craved that bond my entire life, so now I’ve created it with my daughter❤️But I didn’t like the idea of pink shit everywhere when I was pregnant or she was little. I rebelled against it and dressed her in yellow, green, blue, and purple a lot, but of course she loves pink and now it’s everywhere in my house, and I started loving it too, lol.
Anyhow, congrats to Hillary, she seems like a sweet girl and good mom to her son. Luca is a unique and cute name so I’m curious to see what she picks for her daughter.
I think the people who have gender reveal parties are the ones who truly don’t care what the gender is…so they will be happy either way. The ones that care and prefer one sex over the other usually show their disappointment in the doctor’s office.
I don’t know – I’ve seen a lot of “fail” videos on youtube with compilations of gender reveals gone wrong. For example there were multiple where they had tied a box to a tree in the yard and attached a string to it to haul on that *should* smoothly open the box and release something of whatever color. People really don’t know how to secure things – so most of the time the box would come crashing down on them or the sibling to be. But there were also so many videos where one half of the couple was very obviously disappointed. Sometimes the ‘winning’ spouse would gloat, sometimes the losing one would make a big deal. Sometimes it was a little sister who was devastated because she was hoping for a brother… etc etc. At least with kids being excited/disappointed it’s kind of whatever. They’re kids – they aren’t great at hiding emotions.
But the amount of grown adults throwing mini tantrums or rubbing it in the partners face over the reveal was mind boggling.
And if I see another “Trucks or TuTus”, “Wheels or Heels”, “Bow-ties or Bows” I will puke. I get the idea of using pink or blue when they’re doing a reveal- it’s a quick visual that people can take in for an immediate reaction. But it just bugs me when there’s so much separation happening on ‘appropriate’ activities. Some girls love trucks. Some boys love dance. It’s so weird that people already start dictating appropriate activities/interests for their kid before it’s even out of the womb. I was a tomboy – I didn’t give a crap about heels or tutus or anything like that. Thankfully, my parents never pushed for a girly girl or anything like that. I liked what I liked, and that was that. I love makeup now. Still love video games and doing stuff outside. I feel like in a lot of ways you’re just setting yourself up for disappointment when you’re planning on decking out a little girl in head to toe “girly girl” stuff or a boy in hunting apparel and fishing boots. The kid might hate those things – and if they’re things you love it’s going to be at least a little disappointing if they don’t like them at all – so why set yourself up for that (and more importantly put the expectation for the kid to fill a certain role) when it might not ever be the case.
Just my two cents, I guess. All the power to those who are into that stuff – if it makes you happy – go for it. If you want to throw 50 parties go for it.
Thanks for sharing !
A high school friend posted a video of a balloon reveal she did at her party, and her husband was visibly upset at it being a girl and apparently sulked the rest of the party. You never know. I don’t hate these parties because cake is involved. Lol I know I said that several times. I have just not had a good time at them. I would go to a shower no issues, but I’m not a huge fan of these parties.
I didn’t care for baby number one…boy, girl… didn’t matter. Next pregnancy, I hoped it would be a girl, but hey, another boy! Last pregnancy, we really really wanted a girl, and had that, “Aw-man-but-okay-here-we-go-again look!” Had people shot out puffs of blue at three parties I’d not have jumped for joy at two of them lol!
As a side note, each of their nurseries were painted using many colors. The first had each wall painted in a pastel color (blue, pink, yellow and green). The second was primary colors, and the third was low key and grown up with antique canvas paintings of toys and children’s literature. Each boy loved their boy toys but whenever they wanted something from the ‘pink aisle,’ I was more than happy to oblige. You wouldn’t believe how many conversations I’ve heard over the years about girl toys and boy toys. I remember being chastised a few times for letting the youngest have Tinkerbell’s pink toy home. All three are “Bronies,” and are oddly into My Little Pony lol. Why do people care so much about how others live? It baffles.
Honk for watching Younger. I just wish it was on Hulu next day because my satellite provider only has TVLand in Standard Def not HD and it’s just awful watching it all blurry on my HD TV lol and then they don’t even make it available on demand. Ugh.
In Orthodox Judaism people don’t have baby showers —at least not until the baby is born. We did have a gender reveal party for my niece’s baby. It was immediate family only also–so not a huge crowd. Someone above asked how it’s done—–Yup, sealed envelope with the info goes from ob/gyn to the bakery in our case.
I have to wonder if there’s a bakery out there somewhere who got their envelopes mixed up and gave the wrong color cake to somebody. 🙂
I’m sure it’s happened !
I saw something where a bakery put in a chocolate filling instead of pink or blue. Or the couple that did a balloon reveal and the place put in rainbow balloons.
I think gender reveals are lame. Sure, it’s her party and she can use whatever colour scheme she wants to but the idea of gendering a baby before it’s even born is pretty narrow – who knows what it will identify as when it’s older? These parties reveal the sex of the baby, NOT the gender. Also, I think the whole pink for a girl, blue for a boy is traditional, sure but they come with baggage. They’re shorthands for conventional (restrictive) gender roles – like your baby has these genitals so they’ll be this way, and like these things. It’s just reinforcing gender norms before the baby is even out of the womb.
I can understand a doctor doing a single ultrasound to make sure everything is progressing in a healthy manner but I have friends who get ultrasounds at every office visit. Could this be part of the problem with rising autism rates? Doesn’t seem prudent (to me) to be scrambling a developing fetus by bombarding them with sonic waves on a constant basis.
No, the rise in autism diagnosis rates do not correlate with increased ultrasound procedures.
Good lord. Try some science.
It does not cause autism.
You don’t vaxx your kids do you
Parenting has become so bloody weird.
What I’m confused is she announced a girl when pregnant and then had a gender reveal, redundant much?
I CANNOT be the only one who still thinks “Gender Reveal Party” is a trans form of coming out.
In this age of trans-awareness, gender reveal parties seem tone-deaf and presumptuous (to me). I really think they should stop and people should just celebrate the new life.
We were going to do a gender reveal party by having them write down the gender and give it to my best friend but our one month old decided at the ultrasound that he wanted to flash right away you could tell he was a boy without a doubt so no gender reveal for us.
I have two boys and I think boys are the best because that’s who I have and love.
But omg the girl stuff, I weep and mourn all the girly things and accessories
The little dresses.. girl toys..
*Sobs* it’s ok, really.. I adored power rangers..