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I’m including my favorite quote from Chrissy Metz right in the title. I get so excited when someone uses a saying I’ve never heard before about something that’s common knowledge. That’s the case when Chrissy, 37, was discussing online dating. She used the perfect quote to sum up the experience of getting rejected. Chrissy told a story about meeting someone online and not even bothering to say “hi” to him because they both realized when they saw each other that they weren’t going to like each other. This is actually one of the best outcomes you could wish for in that situation, other than figuring it out before you even show up to meet them. Chrissy was previously dating a crew member she met on the This is Us set, a cameraman, but they broke up in March. I don’t remember hearing about that but it sounds like she’s over it and is getting out there again. (Not that there’s anything wrong with not bothering. Been there.) I really like her outlook and it’s something that I could have used back when I was dating. Here’s what she told US:
The opposite of love at first sight. This Is Us star Chrissy Metz opened up exclusively to Us Weekly about her worst online date while attending the premiere of Sideswiped in L.A. on Friday, July 27.
“Years ago, before online dating was even cool or acceptable, I go, ‘Oh, I’ll meet you at this bar or whatever’ and we’re walking toward each other and we both see each other and without even a beat we just turned around,” [Metz], 37, recalled of one blind date in particular. “We both mutually were not even interested in having a date.”
Metz took it in stride, however. “Here’s the thing,” she explained. “It’s never personal. If someone’s not into you, it has nothing to do with you, it’s what they need or what they want. And I’m like, ‘If you’re not getting down with it, good. Thank you for … as we always say, ‘God’s rejection is your protection’ … You have to kiss a lot of frogs to find a prince.”
For the Sierra Burger Is a Loser star, who split from cameraman Josh Stancil in March, her dates are also good fodder for work. “It’s great as an actress, because no matter what, even a terrible date is great information … So I embrace whatever happens and I love that awkwardness. It also helps meeting strange people … when you go on auditions, you’re really, I think you’re prepping.”
While the Florida-born actress says she does want to find Mr. Right (“Who doesn’t want love? Who doesn’t want companionship?”), she isn’t willing to compromise. “Should it happen and should it be meant to be, it will be,” she said. “But also getting older, I’m particular. I’m particular about the things I don’t want to settle for.”
She is open when it comes to dating a guy who doesn’t work in Hollywood, however. “I think it’d be cool to date somebody in the industry only because they get what’s going on. But I also think people outside of it can bring a whole other layer to your life … You know, I’m open.”
It doesn’t sound like Facetime was available at the time that Chrissy’s story takes place. When I was trying to date online I would ask guys to Skype or Facetime first. If they refused or had an excuse I wouldn’t meet them. That way, I could be sure that they looked like their photos, that they had basic social skills and that there were no red flags. It helped me decide whether it was worth it because it’s a lot of effort and stress to go on a first date. Plus, as Chrissy’s quote sums up so well, it can be dangerous for women. I like her explanation that it’s not personal. That’s something I’ve struggled even with friends. You take things personally when it’s personal to them, not you.
Photos credit: WENN, Getty and Instagram/Chrissy Metz
Been knowing this for years and she is right, but here is the real saying:
“A man’s rejection is God’s protection”
Thanks that makes more sense! I struggled with understanding what her line meant.
Thanks for the clarification. Now it makes sense.
Thanks for clarifying
Yeah, I like that better.
I’ve retired from dating. The world and I have irreconcilable differences of opinion about what I’m worth.
I gave up for a while because after becoming happy, relationships always ended painfully. It seemed like all guys wanted to have start families, and I can’t get pregnant. I’m glad I gave my bf a chance after saying no to every guy I’d met for years before. Don’t retire from dating forever. It can take a while to find, but you deserve happiness and love
I understand (to a certain point). I’ve been retired for a long time. For me, dating was too stressful.
Dating can be a tiresome endeavor. I wish I had discovered earlier to be my own best friend and be content with my own company.
The few years where I was living with a self-imposed timeline for certain life events were self-created misery.
@rescue cat – I love this! Do you mind if I borrow it?
If the shoe fits. ☺
You talk to someone and they like you but then they see how you look like and don’t like you. How on Earth is that not personal?
I was thinking the same thing…maybe she means it’s not personal as in they don’t like a bigger women? They prefer something different. It’s still personal in a way since they liked your personality not just your looks.
The way that attraction can be a physical, chemical thing.
Sometimes it clicks. Sometimes it doesn’t.
I definitely wouldn’t want to be with someone who doesn’t want me, and I wouldn’t want someone to keep putting in the effort to develop a relationship with me, if I weren’t into them.
Yeah, this. I’m thinking of one particular internet date I went on (I only went on a few). The guy was nice, we had some things in common, he seemed cool, good-looking, etc. I just didn’t feel it and he didn’t seem to either. We had a couple of beers and a nice evening, but when we left at the end of the night we were both like “Yeah, I don’t need to do this again. Take care.” It just wasn’t there.
I think it’s more she means she doesn’t take it personally. She doesn’t internalize the rejection and believe that she is undesirable or unattractive. She’s just not desirable or attractive TO THAT GUY. It’s his personal taste, not an objective truth.
Its not personal because everyone finds different people attractive. Someone not being physically attracted to you is not an insult.
I hated dating. Guys i liked didn’t like me and the guys that like me, i want interested in. So glad I’m married.
I could never do Internet dating. The very idea of it totally freaks me out.
I had so much fun dating when I lived in a big city but when I moved back home it was dreadful. I met my husband through a work event, we had both lived in Brooklyn and San Francisco but didn’t meet until we were in our early thirties in Healdsburg. We had both traveled the world and had enjoyed our single lives. He suggested we get married a month after we met. We married 6 months later whilst I was 4 months pregnant. That was 8 years ago. The point is have fun, live your life to fullest and you will attract a like minded partner.
Or you could be like me – in your 40s and still hoping to go on her 1st date one day. Not everyone meets someone, and that’s okay too.
@ Grey
Same ! I just think God (or someone) is saving me from a horrible marriage lol. It’s ok to be single at any age. It’s ok not to have had previous relationships. No shame in it. There are more of us out there just like you than you think !
In my 40’s and haven’t been on a date in years. It can be discouraging, but I sti have faith.
i’m in my 40s too and don’t date much. If I meet someone I like, great, but my life is pretty full and busy, and there are a lot of creepy and jerky people out there.
If you really want to get out there and meet someone, you have to just go for it, but if you’re doing it to fit in or meet others expectations, don’t. You have to make your own happiness, and that is something different for everyone.
Yeah, I was late to the dating game myself, and it really is a choice at a certain point. I made the choice to go on some dates with some people that I knew I probably wouldn’t connect with, but hey, it was nice to have someone to get dinner with or whatever. And then when I met the guy I went on to marry, I really didn’t WANT to date him because I liked him and thought that if we dated that would be one less friendship in my life (at a time when I didn’t feel like I had many). I made the choice to go for it and I love him and our life, but I also often miss the days when I was only responsible for and to myself.
I think just like the decision to have children or not, the decision to partner up with someone or not is both deeply personal and completely life-changing in ways no one ever really talks about. Everyone treats dating and marriage like they’re givens, but they aren’t for everyone. If you meet someone you mesh with, that’s great, but we’re all fully formed people on our own too.
Grey, I am you & you are me, koo koo ka-choo! 🙂
I have been thinking about dating again recently, but I feel completely lost. I was in a LT relationship (that ended with him leaving me and eloping with his ex gf), and I took years off to be alone, figure myself out and figure out what I wanted in a person and a relationship. Dating has changed immensely in the time I’ve been out of the game, and I have no idea how to go about it now. My ex and I met at Uni, back when my environment was much more conducive to social interaction. I loathe the idea of online dating (not out of judgement or anything…im just not big on social media in general), but it seems like that’s how everyone dates nowadays. Plus, I don’t have any social media accounts, and most people I meet are convinced something is wrong with me because of that fact. (I’m just a private person. )
Oof. Well. Im 32 and have not dated in over a year. For about two hellish months with a psychopath. Ended it. Before that i had been single and celibate for 6 years.
Im painfully awkward and shy with men. And insecure. And also have wayyy too many pounds on my body so i relate to what Chrissy is saying.
I don’t do online dating. I tried Tinder but just weirdos show up so.. yeah. Still hoping to conquer my fears and putting myself out there. But from my most recent experience I truly believe that that Rejection (though I ended it) was God’s protection. I would have ended up being a sad, beaten up, shadow of myself if i had continued in that relationship so. . . Yes. Chrissy. I agree with you!!
I chatted with a guy online for a few months, way back when. We emailed every day, and literally became best friends online. I still maintain we would’ve been perfect for each other. I was honest with the pics I sent, but the few he sent were all from far away and not good quality. When we finally met, basically in love on paper, he was very, very short and had a face that while cute, wasn’t attractive to me. That was a very painful situation for us both.
After that, if the dude was attractive in good quality photos, and his bio wasn’t lame, I just asked for a date right away. Drove myself, paid for myself, left nothing on the table, ended the date early if we didn’t click, nothing lost in the process. Much easier for me that way.
was with my ex for 26yrs (he left me for his bf’s wife in Jan) and before that I had a highschool douchebag so have not been alone since 15. I had a hysterectomy in March and bought my new boyfriend. Bob. the bodypillow. He can’t talk and is great in many positions 😂🤣 Seriously though I am going to be single for awhile because it is scarey out there.