After a week that included dating a 22 year-old Playboy model and getting a delivery of booze to his house, Ben Affleck is in rehab. He agreed to go after his ex, Jennifer Garner, staged an intervention with a sober coach at his house. Ben has been looking disheveled and out of it for some time. Sources claimed that his divorce was delayed because Jen was concerned about his sobriety. This just shows that it’s been much worse behind the scenes. He’s agreed to get intensive treatment, after previously doing outpatient treatment last year and going to meetings. Ben was also in rehab in 2001. Here’s US Magazine’s report on this which includes insider details. TMZ and People also have reports. Jen was seen visiting him at his house with a sober coach, leaving in the car, and getting drive through for him at Jack in the Box before going to the facility. Ben loves Jack in the Box.
Ben Affleck agreed to enter rehab following an intervention on Wednesday, August 22, a source confirms to Us Weekly. Affleck’s estranged wife, Jennifer Garner Opens a New Window. , and a sober coach were with the actor at his home in Pacific Palisades.
Affleck, 46, knew he needed help and asked for it, a source close to the pair noted. An eyewitness tells Us that it was clear something “major” was going on inside of his home and Garner, 46, came outside shaking at one point. Later, she returned with a bodyguard.
After the conversation, Affleck and Garner left his house in a car together, with her driving. They stopped at Jack in the Box on the Pacific Coast Highway and headed to Malibu, the source continued.
Two other insiders confirm to Us that Affleck has checked into rehab.
On Monday, August 13, the Gone Girl star was spotted leaving an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. “This is part of his practice and how he maintains his personal health. He’s been doing these classes for months. He’s also been spotted outside of meditation classes as well as meetings. He’s focused on being there for those in his life,” an insider told Us Weekly at the time.
Yesterday, before this news broke, there were separate stories in the celebrity press from Ben and Jen’s side. People had a report that Ben wanted to be free to date. Their source said “He is happy being able to date who he wants and not feel tied down to a serious relationship. Lindsay was more serious about him. He enjoyed her company but was not looking for anything permanent now.” Read: he doesn’t want anyone calling him on his sh-t and a 22 year-old won’t do that. A Jen source told People that she is not “happy about him hanging out with a very young Playboy model, but her concern right now is not who he is dating. What she ultimately cares about is his sobriety and whether she can rely on him to co-parent.” The quotes in E! were much more blunt:
“She is not surprised in the least bit by Ben’s choices and thinks it’s sad and pathetic. But it’s not her problem and it hasn’t been for a long time,” a source tells E! News. “He’s a big boy and can take care of himself. Yes its disappointing, but it’s nothing new. This is what he does and has always done.”
It takes a lot for Jen to speak out like this and not act like everything is fine. Remember Ben didn’t come to her Walk of Fame ceremony. She’s been holding it together for a long time and she finally had enough. Good for Ben for agreeing to go to rehab though. He clearly needed it and I hope he finds lasting sobriety and peace. It’s not easy, but it’s so worth it.
photos credit: Backgrid
Nothing else to say expect when a woman loves her children, she will do anything.
Jennifer is trying so hard to make sure that the father of her children stays alive and healthy.
Since Ben never got into verbal & physical altercation with his children while drunk, there is a chance the children’s bond with their father will survive this.
I hate seeing people criticize Jen garner saying she’s obsessed with him and can’t let it go, for I him to rehab. I feel like screaming at those people. She’s obviously doing this for the sake of their children, I don’t know if I would have the strength or want to do the same if I was in her shoes
thank you for saying this, I agree.
all the crap she takes about being a “clinger” and how she’s so “pathetic”, etc.
no, she’s clearly a strong woman who cares about her kids well being, and she knows part of that is their father being healthy and present.
I agree. I don’t think she is doing any of this to be a “martyr” as some people say. They were together a long long time, they have 3 kids, and I think she does still love him but knows he isn’t good for her or the kids. The only thing that kind of bugs me is that whenever she finally has something good going on like getting the star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame or promoting her new movie she has to stop enjoying all that to take care of Ben. I know it’s her choice but sometimes I think it must be exhausting to have him in her life still.
She has become Ben’s “mommy” in his eyes now.
So she needs to get that, and focus on her kids and helping him be the best father he can. No residual romantic yearnings.
Now I’m thinking she was dragging her feet on the divorce not because of any hope for reconciliation, but because she felt she needed to stay next of kin for such possibilities.
Is that a READ? Hahahah
Honestly.
This.
When you truly want your kids to be happy, healthy, individuals, you know that the people they care about most in the world, are the people you care about most in the world. And that is family. Not of blood, but of by making. You can put yourself through Hell if you’re trying to save your children from it.
These pictures are really sad. I struggle a lot to find sympathy for addicts, due to my own personal experience but this must have been awful for everyone involved. Ben looks broken. People need to really lay off Jen. It’s such a hard situation for anyone to be in and the fact that even after everything, she is still willing to stand by him says a lot about her strength. They might be over but isn’t it healthy to care for the father of your kids? You’re still family, no matter how what happened.
He doesn’t have a mother or any other family member that cares enough to help him?
@lady d
In my experience with addicts, their mothers usually are in denial over it. Plus he probably wouldn’t listen to anybody else
I believe his mother is still alive. The father passed from alcohol addiction. If his mother was able to influence him he would not have made years of bad choices. I’m glad Jenn is the one who can get through to him. She is not obligated to do so but it is good that she is trying to help him.
She’s not a doormat people.
As a 20+ yr sober person, I can tell you my family refused to pay for a “rehab”. I told them I was going to wander around homeless and they said, “ok thats’ your choice”. Yep. I got and stayed sober- no safety net, no coddling, just me and no BS.
@noodles. Perfectly put in my opinion. He does look broken and confused. She is strong. I don’t think anyone would stand by and not offer help. Being an alcoholic must be terrible. Booze is everywhere and socially acceptable. I wish them both well and also their children. A real example of how to react when the media spotlight is on you……Jennifer, you are amazing and hopefully you get support too.
@tandembikeescapee good for you, that’s such an accomplishment. It’s so painful to draw that line, so kudos to your family too.
Lady D, I’m not sure if your comment is purely curiousity or implying that Jen shouldn’t be the one to help him because he might have “real family” to do that. But either way, I am in awe or her strength and kindness. It takes a really strong woman to reach out a hand to someone who’s been nothing but dead weight for years. My first instinct would have been immediately filing for an emergency custody order and leaving him to clean up his own act. I’m not saying either way is better than the other. Only the people in that situation can make the decision that’s best for them. But I have a feeling she gave him an ultimatum. You get clean or you don’t see your kids. And that’s a motivation his mother can’t give him.
I agree with Noodles, but as the child of 2 alcoholics, I told my fiance before we married: “You have even ONE affair, and it’s over, no second chances. And if you ever start drinking too much, I’m out the door for good.” I can never face living with an alcoholic again; it was too painful to never know if my folks would be there when I needed them, or if they’d be passed out, or worse, drunk and able to act terribly. I wish him the very best in beating this awful disease, but I hope Jen shields their kids from seeing the worst.
Lady D- Imagine, in a vulnerable embarrassing dire moment, and you ask someone for help, and they say your words back to you.
Good on her but I did crack up w the pic where she’s like “ here’s your happy meal bitch” while handing him the fast food bag like his mom. God, he must be so exhausting for her- be careful who you make babies with, kids!
That pic is hilarious. She has that “here, take your damn food” look while she’s slinging it back to him. If she hasn’t had enough of his shit yet, surely she’s getting close.
He looks completely wasted. And you have to wonder, did he act out/ take a swing / whatever, if it was so bad that she had to walk out shaking, and come back with a bodyguard.
Whatever happened in there, at least it’s getting him into in-patient care (though it sounds like he’s going to Promises in Malibu, which is basically adult day-care with massages and yoga. 60 Min. did an “exposè” on it not that long ago. Costs about $50K a month).
Hope this time, for his kids’ sake, this sobriety try takes. His kids are all old enough to be reading this for themselves, no matter how much Mom monitors, they will see it somewhere for themselves.
Love that pic, and it perfectly encapsulates the relationship now. He is the biggest and most immature of her children.
That picture hit pretty close to home my partner is an addict and starting up recovery again…. And he loves him some jack in the box. I’m one foot out the door… living with an addict suuuucks. Either you do too much or not enough and judged by everyone which ever way you choose.
I’ve been Jen in that picture. Boy did I laugh when I saw it, “Stars, they’re just like us!”
I hope they’re not in some hostile dependency where she resents his using and he resents her rescue. Ugh.
Poor Jen. To the only Jen who deserves such sentiment. The crap she’s had to put up with. Ugh.
Is it just me or does it feel like these alcoholic middle aged man babies wait until their exes are smack dab in the middle of work – and are filming or promoting big movies, to act up and cause them big hassles.
See Angelina filming (finally) Maleficent II in London, and Garner getting her star and promoting her first big film since never, Peppermint.
These pos are such toddler trash.
The pic above of ‘mommy’ handing junior his fries to get him to go to rehab is especially pathetic. Jennifer Garner looks so done.
I bet she and Angelina could bond over this nonsense.
It is true that if things are going well for an ex, siblings, parents, etc. the addict acts up. It’s truly like dealing with adolescents and, at times, toddlers. So terrible for the people who love them.
Cleo2-bingo- it’s no coincidence this douche acted out and got playboy papped right when she’s getting a Hollywood Star. Alcoholism is a horrible disease, but it’s not responsible for his underlying ahole tendencies.
exactly. she is doing so much. good for her and she’s doing it for the kids and probably the man she knew before. clearly he needs help and she’s the only one stepping up
I feel that this situation is the epitome of male privilage, and that you shouldn’t feel sorry at all. Here we have this middle aged, super famous and super rich white male, who is acting like a toddler. Yet every one is tip toeing around him, caring for his every move, pushing him in a healhy direction one baby step at a time like he’s an infant. He has all the means to get clean and but no, he clearly won’t do as wifey or mummy or whatever female in his life says. You see, he really wants to party and date play boy models and have fun like he has done his entire life. He doesn’t understand the meaning of responsibility, never ever had to. Just cut him loose, Jen, save all this energy for yourself and your children and start building a happier life away from him. He will drain your energy until there’s nothing left. And he still won’t change.
Line-
I love and appreciate your take on this! So true!
Ah, but when love and children are involved it can “seem” murky and she obviously hasn’t given up on him yet.
This guy wants to drink and drug himself into his grave. He does not want be an involved father as much as Jen is pushing him. square peg in a round hole type thing.
When someone shows you who they are, believe them. When is Jen going to accept this?
No one has ever said that he wasn’t a good father, apart from his disease. Jen has clearly grown up with a close and involved family and she knows how important it is for children to have their father in their lives. She’s clearly not going to agree to a custody arrangement where he has the children with him on his own whilst he is still struggling with his addiction, but she knows how important it is for children to have their father in their lives. I really admire her – she’s walking a fine line and seemingly hoping for the best whilst preparing for the worst.
If you can’t have your children on your own because you have addiction problems then you are a bad father (or mother). No one has to say that aloud, it speaks for itself.
He’s clearly not a good father, and I don’t think there is any “apart from the disease.” If you are an active severe alcoholic, if you have chosen to put alcohol above your family, you are not capable of being a good parent, period. Being a good parent has nothing to do with how much you love your kids, which I’m sure Ben does.
And sometimes it’s far better for children not to have a parent involved in their life. (Look at Meghan Markle.) The idea that kids are always better off with married parents than divorced ones, or that kids are always better off in regular contact with their parents, is simply not true. Sometimes being a good parent means protecting children from damaging influences. Many many women and children are estranged from toxic or abusive family members. I’m not saying Jen should stop Ben seeing the kids, but facilitating contact isn’t necessarily always the healthiest thing for a child.
And you can get a divorced without working out custody arrangements first.
Jen just obviously wants to stay married to Ben for whatever reason.
That photo of Jennifer handing him the bag of fast food is just… I can feel the exhaustion and contempt from here.
Yep. I read this photo in the exact same way…
I had that same feeling along about the third or fourth time I dropped my ex at rehab too. Like Jen, also did it for our son.
So true, the contempt literally jumps off the page. She’s finally over him romantically.
i understand why she feels responsible for him since he’s her kids’ father but she really shouldn’t have to. You cannot fix anyone, they have to want to fix themselves.
The kids are probably better off not having an alcoholic in their lives.
Mrs. Bump,
Completely agree. My father was an alcoholic his entire adult life until he drank himself to death.
You cannot help someone unless they are ready to get help.
We had an intervention for him some years before he died, and while he went, it did nothing for him because he didn’t want to change.
Jen is obviously doing this for her kids.
I hope for their sake he gets his shit together.
My heart goes out to you Carisel.Must have been atrocious.My best to you and yours.Jen loooks like she’s in hell.
tbf thats also because of the paps photographing them.
Yes, it’s easy to read into a photo like that, but she’s probably also realised people are taking photos and is keeping her head down. But still, the set of her jaw when she is driving?! God…I kind of admire her, she really is doing everything she can for her kids.
Yeah I’m always a little cautious of pics especially paparazzi shots because there are usually so many variables right before and after and the picture ends up being a split second. She could have turned around right after and been like this is what you wanted right? Or something not hostile. But the isolated pic does read as very dismissive. Big picture (no pun intended!) I’m sure she is exhausted and stressed. I agree with everting else said this is no longer about their romantic relationship or her being clingy or anything else that is sometimes insinuated with her. They were together for a long time and he’s her children’s father. I’m sure she’s mortified on their behalf that these pictures are even out. It’s hard enough to have an alcoholic parent but add fame and every step of the process being documented and that must be so difficult for the kids. 🙁
Yes. I have a feeling there was a “shut up, take this, and don’t say another word” comment attached with it.
I give Jen a lot of credit for still trying to help him. I hope he gets better.
and boy does HE look like crap in that pic. like a drunk getting late night munchies. she looks like “take your food and STFU”.
but I have to say this is definitely good news for Affleck AND his ex and kids. I hope he can stick with it and get better, if not for his own sake, for his kids’.
wonder what the 22 year old thinks about all this. “stupid b*tch took my meal-ticket”.
@whatwhat your “bi$ch took my meal ticket” made me spit out my tea with laughter !
sorry, hope I didn’t make you ruin your computer screen. 😉
So much. Like “Here, take your effing Jack in the Box and shut up.”
I agree she’s 100% doing this for the kids. I don’t blame her.
This!
And he looks clearly out of it.
What a joke.
I have a lot of respect for Jennifer after this story. She’s doing right by him and by their kids, even though he’s made her look like a fool over and over.
I’m dying over that photo 😩😩😩😩
Yes, it just emanates out of the screen in massive amounts. I just hope she IS done with this selfish, self-indulgent man-baby. She is already taking care of 3 kids (who, thanks to her mostly, seem well-adjusted and happy!).
I know People here love to rag on Jennifer but I actually do feel badly for her. I always feel sympathy for famous people on a shallow level for having to see pictures of their exes etc with new lives and loves. She has to watch it all unfold while being a stable parent and helping him get sober. If she had a bender or dated a 22 year old her parenting would be called into question, the shaming would be outrageous.
I feel sorry for her too, dealing with an addict is exhausting and she is in a no win position. If she walks away and protects herself and the kids from his addiction she is heartless, she tries to help him, she is seen as a doormat and then to deal with all that in the press too has to be tiring.
I hope she has support at this time too, she deserves to be cared for too and not always to be the caregiver.
Co-sign both of these comments. Couldn’t agree more.
I agree. I don’t see anything here but strength from her. She could divorce him and let him continue to fall, but she is going through the very difficult and exhausting work of dealing with an alcoholic. She didn’t sign up for this when they married; she’s got him out of the house and away from her; and yet she’s taking responsibility. Total admiration.
i wonder why she doesnt ask for sole custody esp now that he is in rehab – now is the time to go ahead with the divorce and get the kids once and for all. sometimes being brutal is how things get done
norah, I was thinking maybe that’s the ultimatum she offered to get him to go into rehab.
Seeing him disheveled and bewildered and getting his fast food in the back seat makes me realize just how sick he is. Hopefully he really can get clean and healthy this time.
norah – this assumes that she wants sole custody, which nothing she’s ever done has suggested that. Addicts can be good parents and, what more, kids can love their addict parents dearly.
To mean it seems like she’s over the marriage but wants him in their children’s lives. Which is entirely fair and, frankly, probably what’s best for the kids. Brutality is not always how things are done when it comes to family and children.
Norah, my impression has always been that she wants the kids to have a solid relationship with their father, and that includes shared custody, lots of time together, etc. She seems to make an effort for that, so I don’t think she’d want sole custody and to cut him off. But I agree she may have used that option as leverage here, and I don’t blame her one bit.
“Seeing him disheveled and bewildered and getting his fast food in the back seat makes me realize just how sick he is.”
Esmom, I had the same reaction…it’s quite telling.
Where are his parents, sister, best friends, bosses, anybody besides the ex of 3 years? Do none of those people care if he’s sober or healthy? None of them? It’s up to the ex of 3 years to babysit a grown man who will head right back to his 22-year-olds as soon as he gets out.
@Lady D – yeah it is interesting to me how many of his friends (cough, Matt Damon, cough) seemed to imply for years that Jen was a drag but here she is, still helping Ben and propping him up and saving him: a pillar of strength and support. Where is his BFF Matty D? Where are his parents and siblings and bros?
@Lady D – Casey was papped out in LA with one his sons just the other day, so he’s in town. I’ve never seen him papped anywhere near Ben or his new home, which has been a pap magnet for months with every coming and going documented.
That said not sure it’d be Casey’s job to babysit Ben either. Addicts have to want to help themselves.
In 2016 Casey said he had 3 years of sobriety. Maybe he doesn’t want to tempt himself around his brother. Maybe his brother doesn’t answer his calls. There’s really no telling when it comes to someone that deep in it.
Jennifer obviously cares for him and their children very deeply. She also can’t escape or ignore his behavior the way his friends and other family members can. She will always have to be aware of his sobriety or lack there of because it affects their children.
She could just cut him off, make the move for sole custody, and let him wallow in his addictions. No one would blame her if she went that route, but she’s obviously a bigger person than that and she genuinely wants him to be healthy for their kids. I honestly don’t know how she does it, but it’s admirable to me.
Just reading through the comments, I realized that (perhaps) Jen is trying to stop the pattern of alcoholism in this family. Some kids see the parents problems and fall victim to the same patterns, and some kids repel the bad choices and behavior they have witnessed. Good for Jen, ultimately, she is there for her three babies. Too bad all his Hollywood friends are no where in sight to help her, him and the kids. Busy finding new friends Matt Damon?
I agree. I feel for her and admire her trying to help. I probably would not be as generous. People will come on to call a clinger and doormat, but I think she is pretty strong. OIalso agree about the double standard if she was the addicted fool, she would be crusified.
The “clinger and doormat” label was always in the context of staying married to and having children with a man who cheated on her for YEARS. All the while trotting out the perfect family facade. But I have sympathy for her seeing this situation. I get her a bit more. The “kids we’re going to pick fresh berries and make muffins and dance with flowers in the backyard in glorious perfect family loveliness (oh and we will see Daddy soon)” act. Sigh….yeah, I get it. I’m sad. But I get it.
Put forward whatever public persona you need to Jennifer (but please just tell me you have those kids in therapy). Sadness all around.
Yeah, the doormat stuff was more about how she let him run around on her and didn’t leave until it was public and it was the nanny. She ran a lot of interference making him look like father and husband of the year in the run up to his academy award.
I don’t think anyone with any sense looks at these photos and thinks to themselves “she’s just trying to tangle him up in her web! She just can’t quit him!”
All you have to do is look at how fiercely Jen protects and takes care of her kids. They’re not photographed by the tabs anymore due in part if not full, to the restrictions her and Halle fought so hard for, and she is willing to go to great lengths to ensure that her kids are healthy and happy. They all looked so beautiful and well taken care of at her star ceremony. I am sure this is so difficult for all of them and Jen is doing the best she can with the hand she’s been dealt. It has to be brutal when you come from a stable upbringing such as hers and all you ever wanted was to have an intact family unit and this is what you end up with. I know we don’t know the behind the scenes intricacy of their relationship but it seems obvious Ben has been battling a lot of demons for a long time. Makes me so sad that people just got suck it up, grow up and work on their sh*t.
They’re photographed all the time. Her and her son were just photographed at Legoland like yesterday or the day before.
I still don’t understand why the British tabloids blur the faces of Ryan Gosling’s children and Mila Kunis’ kids but not the Affleck kids, if Ben and Jen truly don’t want those photos published. They respect the wishes of some parents but not others? Or do they have permission?
Ryan and Mila are covered by European privacy laws that prohibit the showing of the children’s faces. Americans are not, i.e., Ben and Jen. Start noticing the nationality of the parents of the kids and you see it’s pretty consistent how they are handled.
@AnotherDay Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard are both from Michigan and the Daily Mail blurs their kids faces.
They started blurring the faces of Sandra Bullock’s kids too, after years of not blurring them. I think they can rescind consent or something. Maybe consent isn’t required, but they honor the request if famous people ask them not to show their kids.
Say what you will about her – Ben is fing lucky to have someone as persistently supportive as Garner in his life.
Agreed. I haven’t seen anyone else try to help him, Lindsay was out boozing it up with him all the time. Jennifer knows what he needs better than he does apparently.
Lindsay called his sober coach to the house a couple of weeks ago. I think she thought they could just drink occasionally together and he wouldn’t spiral. I’m guessing there is more than just alcohol involved at this point. I don’t think she realized how off the rails he gets. He is not just an alcoholic, he’s an addict with an obsessive and addictive personality.
Agreed. It’s just sad all around.
Seriously. He is her fourth child.
Exactly what I came here to say!
Yep. The photo of her handing him his food in the backseat captures the parent-child dynamic perfectly.
I now believe that the reason the divorce is not finalized is not just as a bargaining chip. I think it’s so she can have actual power, as in power of attorney, if things become too problematic.
Just my opinion.
I also know people have been saying “he has a family. He has parents, a brother, they can handle it. It’s not her problem anymore”. Some going as far to say it’s great for her because then she can keep controlling him or she wants him to need her. I know cynicism is the norm and I have it in spades but this time, I think it’s just that, if this ended in tragedy, she would be the one to have to tell their children that their father is not coming back.
I don’t think she has another agenda at this point. She’s just trying to keep him alive for their kids.
I agree. I think she is doing this for their kids. They are already old enough to check the internet and see what people are talking about their father. She is trying to prevent that something worse happens.
Absolutely! If they didn’t have children together I think she would have washed her hands of him ages ago.
Apparently Jenny bought a lawyer with her so you might be right she has power of attorney.
I agree and it must be hell for her.
Yup.
This is a really solid point. I also think it would explain why she’s still so involved beyond “he’s the father of my children” because I get the feeling she would’ve washed her hands of the situation a while ago. Especially with the quote about how she’s not shocked and it’s sad and pathetic.
Those pictures of him slumped over in the backseat made me emotional. Her handing him the bag, he’s wasted and she’s just so over the situation. I hope the kids don’t see those pictures, and if they ever do, they appreciate everything their mom did to help their dad when she didn’t need to.
100% agree with your assessment.
I agree. I feel really badly about this. She wants her children to have their father. It’s very obvious.
“she would be the one to have to tell their children that their father is not coming back.”
That’s a really powerful statement.
I see it now. I couldn’t make sense of the divorce delay until today. Had the same thoughts.
Despite this latest – she picked him. Years back, after his stunt with J.Lo and how he treated her, after Garner herself was already married to a very supportive and loving husband.
I’m not hating on her here. What she’s doing for and with Ben now is excellent and few others would apparently. What I’m saying is she picked him. There are people who choose a difficult person to partner with and then when the difficult person falters, they either gaslight and abandon them or take responsibility and help.
I’m glad she’s there for Ben. He is their kids father and her family. But I don’t like the statements in the press as that’s not helping Ben. Not to mention how it frames Ben in his kids eyes. Garner has an m.o. too and it’s a bit disturbing but whatever, as long as she’s thinking of their kids, good.
Final note – my standard of a decent partner is Pierce Brosnan. Garner has a way to go in comparison. She has no high horse to ride here. This is what you do for family. She signed up for it and I’m glad she’s following through for all their sakes.
You hit the nail on its head, Mel. The kids don’t need to read about him dying because of alcoholism. He may anyway, but she will have done her level best to prevent it. She is a hero and a strong individual.
@Your comment about her being the one having to tell the children he is not coming back reminded me so much of an article I read about Mimi O’Donnell and how she supported their children after Phillip Seymour Hoffman died. I cannot even imagine what that must have been like and I have nothing but respect and compassion for anyone who tries to support an addict to become or remain sober. You do what you have to do to spare your children from heartbreak.
Does this mean Shauna is going back to work at the veterinary clinic?
Lol, right? Her 15 minutes were just beginning, even the nanny got more media play than this.
Dying!
Yeah after seeing her smug little video about the paparazzi yesterday, that’s my thought too. What will she do now?
She makes nanny O’s brief brush with fame look like an eternity!
I guffawed.
hahahahaha…I said the same thing…I wonder what her reaction was to this? I mean, surely she must realize that when he gets out, she won’t be on his radar.
Snort. Is there a rehab for banging someone less than a decade older than your child?
LOLLL. Poor Shauna! Only Miss May and wasn’t able to move in on him properly!
LMFAO. I heard she is tweeting to him to “hang in there”. guess she got cut off after her weekend fling with a blacked out ben affleck
she is famous for being a ho and is too stupid to know she should be ashamed of it haha
addiction is such a terrible thing. Ben looks very pained in those pictures. They are almost hard to look at. This will be said a million times but he is lucky to have Jen Garner in his life. She is a good mother. They are still married technically so she is really there for him in sickness and health. This must be so hard to play out so publically for the kids.
Yes I am feeling alot of compassion for them right now.
I am with you. I didn’t expect to feel so much emotion looking at these photos. But it’s just so sad. It’s sad for all of them. And it looks like he’s been crying pretty hard, honestly. I hope the guy gets some help, and that maybe it’ll stick this time.
Erinn, I agree. The pictures of Ben looking so miserable made me tear up a bit, and I don’t even like Affleck. Seeing someone in pain always gets me in the gut though, whether I like them or not. I hope their children are okay. I saw the pics of them all at Jen’s Walk of Fame star ceremony – just gorgeous kids. And Jen appears to have a close family with her folks & sisters. They’re across the country, but I’m sure they’re involved.
He looks in pain,for all of the douche behavior he is obviously an addict and his loved ones are suffering and it seems he may finally know it .I remember Ben in *Good Will Hunting * and seeing a young unknown talent.I remember when he was the Hollywood it guy- and I do believe he has talent,just needs serious help.Wondering if this is why Jen hasn’t divorced him,so she can be there for him and their children.Has to be so hard.My heart hurts for them all,and seeing the kids at her walk of fame ceremony,WOW they are beautiful and all old enough to hurt from this.Money doesn’t do everything does it?
I also have a great deal of compassion for them all. Addiction has greatly affected my life all around. It’s a tough and viscous disease, but recovery is possible. To paraphrase @Celebitchy, “it’s not easy but it’s worth it.”
This. I’m very concerned for all of them. The photos are terribly intrusive. I really hope Ben gets well.
Yes they are painful to look at.
Eh, she’s not perfect but I like Jennifer Garner. It was clear that Ben Affleck was on a downward spiral. I hope he gets better.
Well the divorce is going to be called off.
Ben clearly needs a stable force in his life, a mother figure, and Jen is filling that role.
I think Jennifer wants the divorce to be done, but still being technically married gives her leverage over his access to the kids etc. that she wouldn’t have otherwise. I suspect she can barely stand him at this point, but it’s all about saving her children’s father. The DM is claiming she brought a lawyer with her to Affleck’s house for the intervention. If true, that says it all.
I don’t think access to the kids is an issue. Absolutely nothing about Affleck has ever suggested he has the slightest interest in being an involved single parent. This is not a guy who wants to look after his kids for a couple of days every week without nannies on hand 24/7 to do all the actual work.
Even when they were together and he was relatively healthy, he showed no interest in being a family man (except during Oscar voting). He even said many times that he was more interested in working. At the worst points in their marriage he was literally flying all over the country hiding out in casinos to avoid being at home.
I can’t imagine he’d object if Garner wanted nothing but short, supervised visits. That’s basically the ideal set up for him.
I don’t think the divorce will happen. E!’s story claims Ben wants to get it together for the kids “and for Jen.” Sure, Ben.
I would not be surprised at all if there’s another reconciliation in the cards. I don’t think she’s beyond that at all. It was only a few months ago that she said a divorce wasn’t what she wanted.
I do feel horrible, but it’s all pretty dysfunctional. He has a mom and brother and others to run interventions now. He will always be an addict, even if he’s sober. But this is what she does – she tries to fix him. I don’t think it’s just about the kids, and it hasn’t worked so far.
His mom is an old woman. Maybe her health is not very good. I don’t believe she could help him. She must be very sad for his son. As for Jen, she is always the villain in your opinion. She can never win with you.
His mom is not an old woman at all. She looks pretty healthy and active. And you’re wrong, I don’t think she’s a villain. But I do think that she cannot continue to be the one who picks him up time after time.
Even tho’ he’s agreed to go, he’ll never get better until HE CHOOSES health and sobriety (which doesn’t mean not drinking…that’s just being dry…sobriety means doing the work to understand what drives you to drink (or substance of choice) in the first place..and I’ve not ever believed he has done the work to be sober. That is THE hardest part about loving an addict. Step whatever: Let go and let God (however you understand your Higher Power)
Ben might have a mom and a brother but we really don’t know and/or have no clear facts about what the family dynamics are in that side of Ben’s family; just like we really don’t have all any clear cut facts surrounding his and Jen’s relationship. Maybe his mother isn’t able to stage an intervention, maybe they aren’t even close, maybe a number of reasons why!! We don’t know at this point. But what we do know is that Jen staged an intervention for her husband, and I don’t see any good reason why her actions need to be side-eyed as if anything and everything she does for Ben is for selfish reasons on Jen’s part. Jen might have said she didn’t want a divorce but that says nothing about the relationship dynamics really. Angelina Jolie said she never wanted to be a single parent, does that mean she wants Brad back? I don’t think so. So, Jen is doing this for whatever reasons only known to herself, and I myself don’t see anything that spells “reconciliation in on the cards” at all. I see a mother that wants her children to have their father in their lives and for that, I have hats off for Jen. I know what it is to have no parents, so I feel for Jen and her kids. I hope Ben gets the help that he needs to combat this deadly disease, addiction is no joke and anyone that can help him should, regardless of what nay sayers might say.
I think the question here really is – where is Matt, Casey, Ben’s Mom? Why are these important people in his life not doing the work? Why is it Jen who ultimately steps in with a lawyer and a bodyguard and gets him to Rehab. Is she really the one that cares more about him thEn them? Is she really the person he ultimately listens to? He looks so wasted in those photos I don’t think he could even hear – get help or no kids. Why dont the other people in his life step up? And what about Lindsay – his “soulmate” – his love of at least 4 years, times get tough and she checks out?
What can Lindsay do realistically? He’s been cheating on her, doesn’t want to live with her and won’t divorce his wife for her. Jen doesn’t even allow her around the kids. I think her hands are tied and she has reached the end of the road. She has no children of his to use as leverage to force him into rehab. I think her dumping him and walking away is the only tough love leverage she has over him. I bet she told him to get sober or she was going to leave and he told her to take a hike. We all watched as he has completely lost it the the two weeks since their break up.
We all know Lindsay wanted more with Ben but Ben wouldn’t give it to her and Jen won’t back off either.
There isn’t room for Lindsay in this whole mess. I believe her and Ben loved each other but three is a crowd. Jennifer wants to be a huge part of his life and continues to lead the activity with him getting sober. Jennifer has done her part in making sure Lindsay doesn’t have a meaningful place in Ben’s life so theres that as well. The best thing Lindsay can do right now is exit the situation, save herself and let Jen take care of him. If Jen is willing to spend her entire life “saving” Ben and trying to make him stop drinking – thats her life to lead then. I don’t blame Lindsay for bolting, they don’t have kids together.
Really sad that he seemingly has no one leftwho cares about him besides Jen – the estranged wife who clearly is at her wits end with him in the photos. Where is are his parents and siblings? Sad.
Ben’s mom and dad both live on the East Coast now I believe. Mom may still live in Boston or NY, not sure. Ben’s dad of course is well known to be a recovering alcoholic himself.
Casey was actually papped out in LA just yesterday or Tuesday going back-to-school shopping with one of his sons. I took notice because he’s usually not papped, he stays way under radar. So he’s in town. Not sure what the state of the brothers’ relationship is, but they seem a bit disconnected lately. In all the many pap shots of people coming and going at Ben’s new Brentwood house none show Casey or his kids ever visiting.
Casey has a new movie coming out. He’s getting out there, doing interviews and now calling paps to rehab HIS image. He has no time for Ben’s image.
I agree the divorce won’t happen. Now that his long term girlfriend got ran out of the picture and he is lonely. She is getting sucked in again.
When he gets out of rehab i bet a million bucks he will go straight to Jen’s and he will go back to sleeping on Jen’s couch, her playing wifey again and he will be having her cook him meals and prop him up and drive him around to family functions.
He will cheat on her again once he starts to feel better.
I think the divorce will happen. As someone who is going through separation/divorce right now, my lawyer made it clear to me that a solid uncontested separation agreement is what’s needed. The separation agreement is the everything document including custody and support. Divorce is just a legal step that says now you’re free to go and marry someone else. Maybe Jen’s ultimatum was he goes to rehab or she wants a change to the custody and support decisions on their agreement. Just my 2 cents.
I believe too that the divorce will happen. There is no way to come back after all these problems he caused. As for Lin and Ben i don’t believe that they loved each other. They had fun and drink together, during the summer of love as they said, or occasionally. The every reality was a test for their feelings and their relationship.
Anyone else disturbed bt the fact that she left and returned with a bodyguard??? This is the first time that I’ve felt bad for her. It seems as though until their kids are grown she is going to have four kids to take care of…F it, she should just file for divorce and have supervised visits for the kids. I don’t think he is going to be able to pull himself together ever. I really don’t.
I’m sure he was wasted out of his mind, I can picture him screaming at her and getting in her face, bodyguard was a good call.
That’s really scary to me. She is braver than I would be and it’s smart that she went in with back up. She seems determined to intervene when this guy seems committed above all else to be self-destructive??? What a mess. At what point do you walk away??? Maybe she’s not still in love with him but doesn’t want to give up on someone??? Ugh, I can’t even try to figure this out. I do believe that acoholism is a disease, and I loathe BFleck but think he is plagued by the demons of his upbringing, his biological make up, and low self-esteem but how old is he?!! He has kids. I didn’t read the article yesterday on this site but it is interesting that he is falling apart just as she is about to launch a new phase in her career and has so much going on. With all that she has going on she also has to take care of him??? She’s made of stronger mettle than I.
Yes, She needed a bodyguard for the paps or to help Ben get into the car? Sometimes I think she courts photographers. Like yesterday at the water park? How do they always know where she is? Are they following her? Maybe because of what is going on with ben they are on her trail more? Yesterday she looked like she was not at all in the mood for the pictures. OT But Is she ever going to date again? I wonder is she is secretly seeing someone? It’s been years and she is still babysitting Ben. It is just sad to me.
She has 3 kids. Kids makes you set a routine. It’s easy for the paps see her. She can’t change their activities and places they go all the time. And because she has 3 kids and aparently a fourth one (Ben), dating is probably not in her mind right now. Besides that, some people can actually stay single after ending a relationship and be happy that way.
Ive been on my own for more than 20 years and I have no regrets. Different people have different goals that fulfill them, some want that relationship with that special someone, others don’t really care, they might have work and that might be fulfillment enough. Different strokes for different folks.
” Are they following her?”
Yes, paparazzi follow people all of the time. I have personally seen them climb trees in the parking lots of grocery stores to get their shot. I’ve been in buildings where they storm the floors, running around every level to try and find a D list celebrity. They go to extremes even for meager payoff. After the Shauna photos, I am sure that made Jen an even bigger target.
Hi Masamf,
I am mid 30’s and unwed. Currently watching some happy marriages and other’s become divorcee’s with young babies in my group of friends.
I joke with my friends that I’m going to reclaim the word spinster and make it cool. My last relationship was a violently abusive 4 year relationship (it is working it’s way through the courts as well and I hope he ends up with at least a year in prison). I have had plenty of romance and passion in my life and at this point, I have zero interest in entering a relationship ever again. Maybe Jen will end up the same way if she divorces Ben. He has put her through so much I wouldn’t be surprised if she is over men at this point.
People don’t seem to understand that but I’ve come to realize I’m so much centered when I am alone and if they view me as this eccentric spinster than so be it. I enjoy being alone with my 115lb dog with freedom to travel the world on a whim, drive my completely ridiculously indulgent luxury vehicle around with my dog in it and make my own career/living choices. I live near family and have close girlfriends, i have lots of nieces and nephews that I see almost daily that I dote on.
I always say I’m an extroverted introvert and I’m happier on my own too.
YES! I caught that detail too. What happened in that house?
There is a Video on X17 “Ben Affleck Makes Jennifer Garner Take Him To A Drive-Thru Before Dropping Him Off Rehab”. If you watch it you will understand how mess he was. He was talking but you couldn’t understand what he was saying and he was shaking his body. Horrible situation. Feel sorry for all of them and more for Jennifer who has to be the responsible adult for her three kids and for her big naughty child Ben.
This is really depressing. I won’t click on that link but he looks bad enough in the pictures here. I never thought that I would feel bad for BFleck. He has a disease and doesn’t seem to want to make the choices that would allow him to lead a good life and manage it. He and his brother are both financially successful and recognized in their chosen profession, but they are each a mess in their personal lives. Huge messes. Sexual harassment/assault of women, active alcoholism, absentee parenting (this last one is not attributed to Casey, nor is the drinking). They make me feel a bit better about not having it all together.
I saw part of that video – I was kinda wondering if she purposely had his window open for a few seconds, so that it was documented, and later, when he’s sober, he can see how bad it got. But man, the look of pain on her face when she kinda waves at the camera guy, trying to stay strong and hold on to every inch of her patience while she gets her drunk husband fast food…bless her.
I watched it. He is smashed out of his mind at 4pm on a Tuesday. He was talking to himself in the car and almost rocking back and forth. Really wonder what drugs are involved as well.
He is a big dude and bodyguard probably on hand to corral him in and out of the car.
Jen is lucky that he at least doesnt get violent towards women when he is this drunk. He is in dire need of help. He definitely seems
Like he is on the brink of an overdose if Jen hadnt stopped him.
Per the written article under the video on X17, Ben opened the window. Jen asked him to close it and he wouldn’t, so she did.
Been there done that with an ex who had addiction issues. Three maybe four rounds of rehab? Some addicts are master manipulators. They know how to turn on the tears and gaslight and make you feel bad for them so that you start forgetting how much THEY are hurting YOU with their repetitive selfish conduct. Guarantee you that’s why Ben was crying, not because he felt bad about how his actions affect his ex and his kids, but because he wants Jen to feel bad for HIM.
And once they have the first round of rehab, they get the “it’s a disease” and “twelve step” language down pat so you can’t really confront them over anything they’re doing because you get “boohoo, I have a disease” and “you’re not letting me make amends to you,” blah blah blah.
No, there was never any violence or fear for my physical safety, but so many times he threatened that that he was feeling suicidal and when i look back on it I realize that these were probably completely false threats designed to make me feel that I couldn’t leave him or he would kill himself. When I see that Jen came out shaking and returned with bodyguard, I think it’s because Ben was throwing out threats to self-harm. When I finally left my addict he not only didn’t kill himself, he ensnared some other poor woman and had children with her and now she is stuck with him because he’s her kids’ dad and he is STILL going through the same rehab cycles.
Renèe, I said the same thing above. It said she left shaking and came back with a bodyguard. He must’ve gotten verbally or physically “challenging” shall we say? He’s clearly wasted in these shots. Maybe she just wanted backup. Either way, sad state of affairs, that it had to come to this.
I think that was to try and handle the paparazzi because she knew they were about to leave the house. Maybe even to help assist Ben get in the car.
There’s never been a hint of him being violent before, has there? Like I don’t think he’s even gotten into skirmishes with paparazzi, has he?
Usually an aggressive drunk is easy to spot, he doesn’t look aggressive in these shots. Just messed up out of his mind, maybe that’s what shook her.
Yeah maybe Jen got the bodyguard to help him get in the car. I’d be concerned a big drunk guy like that could trip and have a nasty fall, hit his head etc.
She wouldn’t be strong enough to lift Ben up if he fell down and was incapacitated.
Listen- i’m a huge feminist but in a situation with a large, out of control drunk man like Ben – there needs to be another sober alpha male around to make sure things don’t get out of hand and that everything stays calm/cool and safe for Jen and her female associate.
I can feel her exhaustion in the photos. But for her kids a woman will do anything. She has been literally keeping him alive. Alcoholism is such a dangerous and all consuming disease.
I’ve been taking care of my father (a life long alcoholic) for the better part of the year and it is soul crushing. The worst part about alcoholism is that it makes the persons memory super hole-y. So they get to forget all of the terrible things they do and say to you, and you have to remember.
Sending good vibes to Jen Garner.
I’m sorry that you are having to go through that. My in laws are alcoholics. They act like a holes, say rude things then just laugh when sober because they don’t remember saying that. I think they both have a lot of anger and it comes outwhen drunk. It’s hard not to take it personally
Ugh. Those pictures. Affleck looks like a giant manbaby and Jen looks weary. I can’t imagibe having to basically raise my ex husband, in addition to my three children.
My ex is about to get remarried and people seem to think it’s odd that I’m happy for him. In truth, I’m relieved. He has had some serious health issues and I’m relieved to know that she will be there for him. We have kids together and if she is caring for him, it means the kids and I won’t have to,
I know a lot of folks here can’t stand Jen and think she’s a manipulative snake, but clearly she’s the only person who tries to help him. I I look at these pics and feel so freaking sorry for her. This is years of dealing with his bullshit, look at her face, she’s fed up and sad. I know that look unfortunately, it’s hard watching someone you love self destruct like that. At least she’s trying to do something.
I dunno, Ive always liked Jen and think she simply loves him, plus everyone says we look alike so I kinda have to like her a little bit, lol.
I tend to keep quiet on the JG stories for that reason, but I’ve liked her since her Alias days and think her acting is underrated. (She was the best thing in Juno, IMO). But I’ve always detested Affleck.
I think Jennifer is a decent human being trying to help the father of her kids. That doesn’t make her a doormat. I think she’s been over his bullsh!t for a long, long time.
I liked her in Alias too. I know she gets a lot of grief here, but she’s never bothered me either, and I think a lot of her “everything is perfect” stuff was her trying to improve a bad situation and make things as sunny as possible for their kids.
I’m a Jennifer Garner fan. I love that she can be very kind & sweet in some roles & kickass in others. I have a blogger friend who gets to meet celebrities & of all of them, JG was her favorite. They worked together on a charity for children. My friend said JG was v down to earth and kind and engaging even when cameras weren’t around, lol. I think her family in West Virginia keeps her grounded.
agree with all of you. I like her and think she’s a better actress than people acknowledge.
and I thought she was great in Juno, too!
I need to chime in and say that Ben is very fortunate to have an adult in his life who truly cares about what is important and wants what is best for him. S**t is getting real now for sure. To those who side eye Jen for being image conscious and co dependent I say it’s a strong possibility that Ben would be dead if it weren’t for her. Alcoholism is a dreadful condition that kills many many people. Prayers for Jen, the children and Ben. I hate the way Ben has behaved and what he has put his wife and children through but I truly hope that he will get well. So very sad.
He’s looking like he needs this badly. Who knows, maybe he’s alive right now just because of Jennifer being the only sourse of reason and stability in his life. Though, obviously, she doesn’t have to do this.
I wish him sobriety and peace in the future.
He is an asshole who has no respect for women, especially the one he married and has children with, but addiction is the bitchiest bitch, and I would’nt wish that on my worst enemy.
She really is a saint.
I don’t know how many women in her position would actually be doing what she is for her ex.
He really is lucky to have her in his life.
Wishing them well.
Saw this news late last night (UK) and although I think he’s an irresponsible guy in the midst of a mid life crisis I couldn’t help but feel sorry for him. I wouldn’t wish addiction on anyone and he seemed to be going off the rails recently. Feel more sorry for his kids who are having to experience this, and also for Jen. I know she’s been called a clinger who won’t let go of him but it actually makes a bit more sense now. And he’s lucky to have someone like that looking out for him or God knows where he’d be right now.
I feel so sad for Jennifer. I really hope she finds a good guy one day. Her priority is her kids, and that’s obvious, but she deserves what we all deserve – a partner.
The best advice I ever got was just agter I left my husband: don’t think of him as your ex, but rather as the father of your children.
I get the feeling that Jen is working from a similar mindset. She seems like she’s doing what she can to help him be a co-parent. Since his tendency is to lash out at himself instead of at his kids she might be able to limit the harm he does to them by helping him.
I don’t know. It’s all so sad.
Every experience I’ve ever had with relationships tells me Garner should be running in the opposite direction as fast as she can. It’s almost as if she’s addicted to finding ways to run back to him. That said, I admire her determination. I hope it serves her better than I expect it to.
She has children with him. I think she is a good mother, and a good mother will do anything for her children. Including keeping their father alive for them.
I sort of called something like this happening on the last few stories we’ve had; Ben lols awful in these images, it’s scary. And it also must have been quite a tense situation in there for Jennifer to come out shaking then returning with a bodyguard. Say whatever you want about her but she clearly wants to help him; it also goes a way in explaining the divorce issues.
I admire her for how she’s handled all of this, being a in a constant glare but always keeping her kids and his health at the forefront. Being in love with an addict is exhausting, and even if she’s no longer romantically in love with him at this point, he’s still the father of her children, and they’ll always be tethered by that.
She should have gotten a halo instead of a star!
Others would have walked away from this mess. I feel kinda bad for slagging him yesterday…if I’m tired of reading about it I can’t imagine how over it she is. Her kids will have photographic evidence of how hard she has tried to help him and them.
Ben was one drunken night away from showing up on Jen’s door step with her kids’ new step-mother, Shauna. That’s one of the reasons she’s not in a rush to get a divorce. I believe she knew her husband very well and knew, for the sake of their children, she had to keep some control. I agree with others upthread who mentioned Jen having Power of Attorney to make decisions for Ben. These pictures are just terribly sad. I hope he gets the help he needs.
Saint jen to the rescue yet again. He must have been relapsing for some time and the break up with shookus sent him over the edge. Hope he gets the help he needs for his life long battle with addiction.
I think Shookus was the problem as well. There were so many pictures of them looking wasted. She was an enabler.
He was at least functional when he was with Lindsay. He was going to meetings, obviously they weren’t working, but he was attending. He was seeing his kids and occasionally Jennifer. He went hiking with his dogs and hung out with Lindsay’s parents.
Lindsay leaves and within two weeks he’s hanging out with a playmate, getting cases of booze delivered to his house, and he’s trashed in the middle of a Tuesday afternoon. She may not have been great for him, but she was better than him left to his own devices.
He was always seeing his kids, had nothing to do with Lindsay. And being codependent on someone else is not being functional.
This is just really sad. I hope for his kids sake, he stays sober.
The other day I had the thought that Gwyneth really lucked out — somehow she dodged both Brad and Ben’s middle-aged breakdowns and she gets Chris Martin for an ex-husband, who by and large, seems like way less work that these two.
GOOP is even good at curating exes!
I haven’t read the entire post yet, let alone the comments section, but I have to say Jennifer Garner seems like a great mother. I feel for her & the kids. I’m sure she’d rather wipe her hands of clean of Ben for the last freaking time, but I believe she’s thinking of her children. And she’s a very good friend to Ben – probably the best he’ll ever have. I hope he knows that.
I’m never been an Affleck fan. Wasn’t his father also one that left the family? I think his dad abandoned them, not sure. And he had substance abuse issues as well. I’m trying to tie Ben’s substance abuse to something bad in his childhood, but I suppose it doesn’t always work that way.
Okay, the Jack in the Box thing gives this a moment of levity 😂 He loves their food. Blech
Maybe Jack in the Box is really good? I’ve never lived near one, but one more of my not so secret vices (besides reading celebrity gossip) is reading junk food review sites. A lot of people on those sites do seem devoted to Jack’s food, more or less.
Still find the Jack character in commercials creepy to the max. Don’t know why. Always was pretty neutral to Jack Pumpkinhead in the Oz books, who looks like a cousin. He was the boon companion of Tip, who was actually Princess Ozma magically transformed to a boy as an infant to keep him/her safe from evil folk until he could be transformed back. Perhaps the first transgender adventure in literature, and especially children’s literature.
(Tip was very reluctant to be turned back to a girl at the end, he liked being a boy. Can’t remember how they convinced him. Once he was Ozma again, he/she was fine with it though and she got busy ruling the country. I remember thinking he was right, it was more fun being a boy and the clothing was more comfortable.)
I think that she has gotten to the point where she has forgiven him ( for the sake of their children) for what he has done to their marriage. That has to be an extremely difficult thing to do! I imagine if you are able to do that, it is actually so freeing… She would not be able to help him if she didnt.
Out of all the people in Ben’s life, she was the only one who stepped in because she did not want him to make a fool of himself in front of their children & the entire world! And thank God, he listened! She seems to be the only one that got through to him!
Some have commented that she needs therapy herself. Yes, she does, BUT she needs it to take care of hersef. Who is taking care of her? She is always the caregiver & it does take a toll on your health. She needs to be the healthy parent. She has 3 children to raise and now Ben is in no condition to even help her parent!
I think Jen is taking care of herself and sees a therapist. She also goes to church regularly.
Yes, I’m sure she must have a therapist on tap. She and Ben were seeing one for marriage counseling or coparenting or whatever at one point.
I just think one day we’re going to read a tragic headline about him.
I feel the same. Then again, Charlie Sheen is still around. Both have shown bad judgment and self-destructive habits for years.
My gosh, he is absolutely wasted in theses pics. It’s upsetting to see, and it makes me respect Garner even more. He needs to man-up and realize he is an alcoholic, he can’t continue to drink. It seems that in the past he has thought he can just slow down and everything will be fine. He needs to never drink again, for the sake of his children, if nothing else.
Respect. JG is a strong woman.
I laughed at the Jack in the Box stop because baby Ben just loves it Jack in the Box. They need to stop coddling this addict and check him into a proper treatment facility.
That’s… exactly what’s happening here…
I think she means a lockdown facility. You leave when the experts say you can.
You can’t force someone into a lockdown rehab facility against their will.
A judge could order lockdown rehab, but he hasn’t committed a crime or been picked up on a psychiatric hold. So ultimately it’s his decision.
A friend of mine last year lost her ex-husband to alcohol poisoning. They had three kids ages 7 to 13. It has been horrible for everyone involved. She had finally given up trying to save him after years of trying to get him into rehab and to stop drinking so heavily. She finally made the conscious decision to let him live his life the way he wanted and they divorced, with her getting full custody. She spoke about his unwillingness to acknowledge his addiction at his funeral, which apparently really upset his family, but at the end of the day, he’s the one who decided the alcohol was more important than anything else in his life, including his three kids.
JG isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, but she appears to be doing everything she can to help Ben, which is frankly more than he deserves. I’m glad her kids have such a strong role model and mom, because they’re going to continue to need it.
My sympathy to your friend and her children. Ultimately none of us can save anyone who doesn’t do their part. Addicts/alcoholics live in their own reality, and no one can watch or control someone 24/7.
My in-laws had to face a similar choice with a son/brother. He died just as they thought he was finally doing better. His death was sad, yet a relief. No one knew what to expect next.
I tried for nine years. Six trips to rehab. Eleven Od’s, required hospitalization, 3 of them extended. Throw in a “you’ll leave me when I decide you leave me attitude after I moved out, and a job in Canada’s most dangerous industry, (until near the end). I tried, I tried so hard for my son and because at one point I did love him. Went to drop something off once and in the 10 minutes I was there 3 strangers showed up, 2 of them grabbed him, and 1 broke his legs with a ballpeen hammer. That noise. He looked at me and told me to keep my mouth shut because they knew who I was and where I lived. I don’t know if it was true, but I believed him. Changed everything for me, or opened my eyes? Never went back to that house. Apparently he owed them money. Less than 10 minutes for a memory that just won’t go away. I still tried for 2 more years, then I moved myself and my son away. It was better for my kid to have extremely limited exposure to him. Made his family angry and allowed him to say to all who would listen, that I took his son from him. He was dead at 56.
I wish Jen luck, I really do, but I think she’s fighting for a lost cause.
@Lady D, you did all you could. I cannot imagine having to make those decisions for the best interests of a child.
His family likely saw the boy/man they once knew or thought he could be. Family can be enablers without realizing it.
Rich or poor, addiction is addiction. I think Jen is at if not past the point of where the helping versus enabling lines blur. As one doctor explained, the addiction supersedes anything else (stronger than love of family).
Ex husbands family was clearly the origin of his problems. All drinkers, all enablers, especially dear momy. Ill never forget how she told me with a straight face that her kids dont do drugs and she is so happy with it.
I’m so sorry you and your son had to deal with that, Lady D. I’m glad you got away.
I wish that longtime Bostonians would stop stanning/caping for this dude and his bro, as well as Mark Wahlberg and the other Wahlberg, Matt Damon, and Chris Evans. All so toxic.
Chris Evans is a douche? He normally does not interest me, so I don’t read stories or comments about him, but I watched Infinity Wars the other night (tears for Gamora) and his looks were everything. I mean wow, he did not look like that in the first Avenger or CA movies. This is the second time in 30+ years I’ve found a blond attractive, and if you are lumping him in with the above clan, I’m getting a sad, sour taste in my mouth.
Evans had his party years when he was younger but seems cleaner now. At least if he does things like that, it doesn’t become public or people leave it in Boston and Vegas.
Some of the quotes in the E article earlier in the day about how Ben has always done this – with regard to the 22 yo playboy model. For a good part of their 10 year marriage- she covered up for him – he partied and drunk / drugs / gambled and cheated – and she smiled, got him into rehab numerous times – took care of him – and there were whispers but it was not publicized. Even when he went to rehab in march 2017 – it was quiet – and it was only when Ben posted on Facebook that it became public knowledge. Why is this so public? Is it because Ben bought a pap friendly house and the paps hang out there all day. It’s just sad and crazy. I hope he gets well. I don’t want Jen to have to speak at his funeral
Is it just me or does he look like Michael Cohen in that last picture?
Also, his tear-stained face makes me feel like such a voyeur. I hope he gets better. Good on Jen for stepping up and getting her kids’ father to where he needs to be. I feel like her next big relationship will be with, like, a really boring dentist.
Them separating has made me like and appreciate Garner more and more as time is going on. I knew I had to let up when he does nothing but destruct and is showing no concern for her or their children. I was one of those people who always thought that she liked being Mrs. Affleck and nothing else. I am starting to think I was wrong about that.
And I also think Jack In The Box is awesome.
I have new found respect for both of them. At least Ben tries to have a good relationship with his ex and his children and is willing to go back to rehab when his ex wants him too. That’s more than Johnny Depp or Brad Pitt have been willing to do. (There are stories about how Brad Pitt has been Linsay Lohaning it by drinking clear alcohol at events and parties and pretending it’s water.)
Hopefully he’ll figure out how to stay sober.
I am JG with my ex who cares what people think my kids happiness comes first
I have been in Shookus’s shoes as well with a man who was separated with addiction issues and I can tell you she is doing the right thing. She doesn’t have the status in Ben’s family to help the way the wife can legally and Jen has more leverage over Ben with the kids. (even estranged as she is).
The sooner Shookus’s realizes Ben needs to be with Jen and only Jen until the divorce is finalized (if ever), the better for everyone involved. He will most likely continue to cheat on Jen and drink but at the end of the day that is his wife’s problem – him and Jen have kids together and he will always go back to her for support because of the kids.
Why should Lindsay sacrifice her own happiness for this addict? Look how well that worked out for Jennifer Garner. While I admire Jen helping Ben, I highly doubt this how Jen wants to live her life. Get out now before you damage your life further for Ben and never look back Lindsay.
She could go ahead with the divorce, get sole custody of the kids and still allow Affleck to see the kids or attend their events. The two of them can make any arrangements they want. It’s not all or nothing.
I have long questioned her stalling and trying to bail him out. She seems to be unable to let go. It creates a lot of drama. I fail to understand how that benefits her kids.
IMO it would be better to move along. Finalize the divorce. Tell him he can spend time with the kids when he is sober. Kids need to know they are loved and they have a safe home. Be honest with them at the level they can understand for their age. Let them know Mom is in control they have their house, they have their friends and school, their lives go on as always. Dad needs to figure his life out and he will see you when he can. Answer their questions, be honest.
Continuing to bail Affleck out and be over-involved in his messy life is not helping the kids. Its something she seems to need to do. Why would she want to keep going down that road? Being a strong, sure-footed Mom who knows when to steer clear of big drama is what will be best for her kids.
If they’re not divorced, then she remains next of kin. That may be very important at some point. She can make certain decisions as next of kin if he becomes unable to do so. They are still family forever because of the kids. Plus he probably does respond best to her under stress. They were together a long time.
As long as she feels she can handle this responsibility, why not? His parents and siblings may not have the same leverage or strength. He is the father of her children and that means something to her and the kids.
She can do whatever she wants but the why not is obvious. She’s doing nothing but stressing herself out for a man that doesn’t seem to want to change and doesn’t see her or their children as enough reason to do so. They’ll always be family is a crap excuse. Plenty of us will always be family with someone who is toxic. It’s all well and dandy but it doesn’t mean that we should put up with their toxic behavior. At some point, we all have to be adults who grow up and take responsibility for ourselves.
She’s going to be responsible for him until he gets it together and takes some some responsibility for himself.
I’d like to see him stick with inpatient treatment this time because it’s clear that the outpatient approach isn’t working for him. Then, I believe he’d benefit from getting out of LA. Some volunteer work and hard physical labor could do wonders for his mindset and recovery.
I agree about getting out of LA for a while. I know he checked into rehab in Malibu yesterday, but am not certain that’s the best spot at this point. Getting him out of state, maybe to the East Coast might help? Silver Hill as an example is great for treating substance abuse as well as underlying mental health issues, and has the privacy sought by celebs.
I do hope she has discovered Alanon. Even if they divorce, odds are very good that on of the children will be an addict too. Coping strategies help.
She needs to talk seriously with her children about the risks of alcohol and other drugs for them because of genetics, once they are each old enough. Both their father and paternal grandfather are alcoholics/addicts. Her oldest is probably old enough for such information. She needs to start talking about it before the kids are pressured into trying alcohol and drugs, because their genetics may make it far easier for them to get addicted with even low exposure.
Although my brother and I figured that out for ourselves. Kids aren’t stupid. But my mother hadn’t realized dear old dad was a classic alcoholic until I brought home a bunch of books on the subject for a school project. After reading them, she realized he hit every mark. He came from a long line of alcoholics, also. He was the sort who became very quiet and depressed when drunk – she would have known if he had been the angry, violent type like his father.
I really feel for Jen. Of course she still cares for him. When my husband was spiraling out of control and broke down in tears in a counseling session, I reached out to him to show him I still cared. The therapist asked why I tried to comfort him. I said whatever happens between us, I need him to be strong for our children.
I wonder if Ben needs to get out of Hollywood. Too much temptation, too much pressure and too much media attention. Too bad the whole family couldn’t haved bailed and moved to Montana or something.
Because there are any drug or alcohol outside of Hollywood ??
There is obviously but not the pressure of being so famous.
Shauna was a hit it and quit it type girl. Shame on her for getting involved with this mess. I bet a million bucks Ben was blacked out most of his time he spent with Shauna and probably hardly remembers her. So Miss May should dial back her enthusiam a bit.
Jen is a good woman and clearly thrives on being his savior. Its clear Jen will do anything for Ben and wants to be a big part of his life so there isn’t room for a girlfriend at this point. You can tell she has done this many times before and maybe she is the only
One He will listen to because she can use the kids as leverage.
Shookus was smart to get out and give him back to Jen to take care of. She has no children with the guy and can break free. Who wants to deal with a mean drunk every day? Shookus is free to leave and Jen has no choice but to deal with him daily and He truly is Jen’s problem. they have so many kids together. Jen is like Ben’s mother.
Taking up with a married alcoholic father of 3 doesn’t say “smart woman” to me, but to each their own I guess.
She did the right thing. She’s been amazing all this time.
Jen is trying to prevent an overdose at this point. I seriously doubt that it is “just” alcohol.
Without a doubt. You’ve seen it before too? Why do we all try so hard to win losing battles?
Yes, I have. I think that is why there was such a rush to get him help. Ben has a history with cocaine and if he was spiraling…I seriously doubt drinking was the only thing he was doing.
I think we try so hard because it is hard to give up sometimes. I think Jen’s only concern is her children and what they would go through if he overdoses.
Alot of people ask when is Jen finally going to finalize the divorce with Ben? Clearly this poor woman has alot bigger issues to worry about than getting a divorce right now! I do not think that was her attorney with her. I think that was a sober coach from rehab. I think between the two of them, they got him to go back to rehab. But the fact that she left & brought a bodyguard with her is absolutely frightening! Sadly, i think going to Jack and the Box might have calmed him down & it probably helped to have some food to absorb all that alcohol as well!
What I found interesting was on GMA this morning, they talked about Ben going back to rehab & the intervention; however, under the caption it said SUBSTANCE abuse, not alcohol .
Oh God, is he addicted to BOTH?!
There are years of gossip out there about the white stuff and Ben.
I believe that is why she had the bodyguard. when someone is coked out there mind they can have “supernatural” strength, extreme anger and paranoia. She KNOWS what to expect when he gets this bad. She came prepared.
I find it very admirable that Jennifer is trying to help him and I’m so glad he accepted help. I do feel kind of icky about these photos though. It’s such a private, serious moment. I kind of wish the public didn’t have access to see them.
I’m left feeling like Garner is probably an amazing mother; the father of my eldest had severe substance abuse issues but we lived several states apart and our son was not in a relationship with his dad at the time. It was still heartbreaking and problematic. Now he’s sober and they’ve got a relationship, and I’m still worried. I can only imagine what this family is dealing with and I’m in awe of Garner. Wow.
I hope he gets the help he needs. Like a very long term intensive residency program for his health and relationship with his kids.
I understand her interest in assisting as the mother of his 3 kids. Now it makes sense why the divorce is not finalized, she has a lot more power and influence as the wife versus ex wife. My hat is off to her.
My guess is he’s having a meltdown over Lindsay leaving him.
I’m sure Jen Garner is an amazing mother but the relationship between her and Ben is not healthy at all. I totally get why people think it’s admirable but it is classic co-dependent behavior. He’s a wreck and she keeps trying to save him. It goes beyond the kids; both are getting something out of it. Jen can play the hero that saves Ben and Ben continues to not have to grow up and be an adult.
I can understand her motivations (the kids); but the truth is, it’s not healthy for anyone involved, including the kids. Her daughters are going to think that it’s their responsibilty to help fix the men in their lives and her son is learning from this too.
As an adult you are not responsible for the actions of another adult, you can’t save people from themselves no matter how hard you try. Change and addiction are cyclical; Ben may fall off the wagon a dozen more times before he’s ready to put in the work himself to change. It’s not Jen’s responsibility to save or change Ben. Their kids are old enough to understand that their dad has serious addiction issues. Personally, I think Jen should focus on her kids and continue to be what appears to be a fantastic mother and let Ben sort himself out. It’s time.
Also I agree with the poster who said Ben is melting down because Linds dumped his ass or wasn’t going to put up with his shit. He’s so transparent. And a part of me thinks that Jen has also convinced herself that once Ben is sober they can go back to playing happy family and that’s not going to happen either.
All I can say is where is your compassion? A good friend will do his/her best to help out somebody like Ben. More so if that person is a family, like JG. This is beyond sometimes being his wife (ex) or being the father of her kids. It is her choice and she will handle it accordingly. When is it going to end? Who knows?
I’m convinced she’s done with him as far as a marriage is concerned, but he’s been part of her life for 14 years. I feel sure that memories of the good times creep into her thoughts. IMO, it’s normal and admirable to want to help before throwing in the towel.
Eh…I have mixed feelings about it. There are likely some codependent characteristics of that relationship (DEFINITELY from his end, that’s for sure), but fourteen years and children is a lot of baggage between them. My sister is currently separated from her partner of seven years for the same reasons (addiction, cheating) and even she’s having a hard time watching him self-destruct without intervening despite them not having kids. She’s accepted that she can’t fix his disease, but she doesn’t want to see him suffer or die, either. She wants him to fix his life even if their marriage is down for. He wasn’t just her spouse, after all – he was her best friend for those years, too. I totally get how people have difficulty completely washing their hands clean of it.
I’m going through that right now, we aren’t married by have been together for 5 years. Live together etc, and I was blindsided by the substance part of the issue which came up a couple of weeks ago. (found out he was using when he said he was going to meetings)
It’s a lot to process and deal with, part of you loves the person and want to help, but then there is the other part that is all… EFFF THIS!
I’m not sure if he is going to actually deal with his issues, so for right now I’m just taking care of me and keeping an eye out.
He’s still blaming everyone in the world besides himself. But I don’t have a good feeling about how this is going to end for him. Sad, he’s a lovely person underneath it all.
As much as she can be cloying at times, seeing Jennifer Garner’s actions reminds me of Denise Richards and Charlie Sheen all over again.
The strength these women have to hold their sh*t together for their families as their unreliable (and in Sheen’s case) abusive ex’s flail around is amazing. Yes they have wealth and access to things that some regular people don’t, but that doesn’t take away from the that sheer willpower, strength and resolve you have to have to just keep helping someone who really doesn’t want to help themselves is amazing.
My Mum did it for years with my father and it always amazed me. But she knew that by helping him as much as she could, whether he accepted or wanted it, made things a little easier for us as her children. Thankfully she remarried to someone much more reliable (boring at times even!).
I’m probably repeating a lot of stuff others have said already, but him having a mom and other family is no guarantee those people would actually be there for him in any way that would be effective. Some people can mean well, but it doesn’t mean they can deal effectively with a loved one’s raw pain and overall messiness. They get squeamish, uncomfortable, angry, make it all about themselves etc. So if the ex-wife can do it, then kudos to her. I don’t have kids but if I did I imagine I’d do everything I can to ease their pain and worry about their father.
Plus, it’s not like JG has to max out her credit card to help him. She has plenty of resources, including a flexible schedule, so she can do this with minimum practical inconvenience to herself. I admire her for stepping up and don’t find it weird.
So are the studios not insuring him any more like they did with Lohan and others?
Total Affleck stan here. I admit it. I will always support him. But I feel so much respect for Jennifer Garner. My opinion on some of her traits stand. However, in dealing with an alcoholic in my personal life I acknowledge that a lot of how she became what she became is because she was always trying to manage and deal with his behaviors and addiction. I just hope that he stays in long enough to get better and can learn how to make better choices. Jennifer is ride or die. He needs that in his life. Lindsay, we had her number from the beginning. Get better, Ben.
It seems like even when their kids are all grown and living their own lives, Jennifer will still be “taking care” of Ben and his issues. It’s great she wants to help him because she wants her kids to have a father that will be around for a long time, but this man seems like one big baby who can’t get his sh*t together. He had a great woman, a great family, he was sober…then all went to hell. Hopefully rehab helps him this time, for his sake, his kids’ sake, and Jennifer’s.
Back in early 2017, before he went to the rehab (Utah, I think?), there was a pop in the gossip news that said Jennifer was going to file for divorce. Ben almost immediately disappeared and went into rehab right after that. I think there was an ultimatum contained in that gossip blurb and he knew it. He apparently did not stay the entire time, though (much talk about that here), so it was probably a fail. In April, the divorce was filed. Then, in the summer when Ben came out with Shookus and the gossip was flying, Ben’s camp said that he and Shookus started up in the spring of 2017, probably around the time of the filing. He got himself a new caretaker, although she probably didn’t realize that was the role she was assuming, so he was ready to cut Jen loose in that role.
Now, she has issued him another ultimatum, I’m sure, about go to rehab or I’m getting sole custody. If he doesn’t use this time and work on his wellness and take it seriously, I do think she’ll file for sole and move on, letting him live with that choice and deal with her kids for that future. She will know she did absolutely everything, even that one last time. I don’t think she will intervene again.
Rehab isn’t working for Mr. Affleck because I think the excessive drinking is a symptom of the problem, not the cause. Mr. Affleck should see a neurologist in order to be tested for frontotemporal dementia (FTD), the most common type of young-onset dementia, whose onset is routinely jokingly dismissed as “midlife crisis” or misdiagnosed as a psychiatric disorder or alcoholism/drug-addiction because of the alcohol cravings that come with the disease.
Mr. Johnny Depp also needs to be tested. Miss Garner may have had to leave the house and return with a bodyguard if Mr. Affleck had an explosive outburst – not at all uncommon if they don’t get their way. Terrible hygiene, hypersexuality, wild spending, bad judgment (leaving family; even the gigantic, gaudy tattoo) are more signs of this disease.
Dementia is not just memory loss in the old: It is also a drastic and disturbing behavioral change in the prime of life.
Thank you for sharing that!
I had never heard of that before!
This could be true, he could also be undiagnosed bipolar which has a lot of the same symptoms.
But this is not new behavior. He has always been like this.
Wow. He looks rough. He definitely went on a huge binge before heading to rehab. That was hangover food straight up.
He’s totally drunk in the car with his fast food😂
Food will help him sober up, if he can keep it down. Coffee is classic, but food helps also. At least this is true for drunks. Don’t know about other drugs. I just spent too much time cold sober around drunks….
Compassion for all of them. Humans in distress is never a good thing. Yes, he has more resources than nearly everyone and he may not be the greatest person, but there are people that love him and they are undoubtedly hurting. It’s not normal for people to have all this attention at the best of times, but it’s especially difficult during a mental health event. It’s a hard time for everyone.
+1
Ya know the most interesting development of all this? Is how many of us on celebitchy have had personal experience with addiction or abuse in our partners. I see a lot of us being able to speak from personal experience here and can identify with a lot of the characters in this saga.
It’s very true. Addiction knows no bounds. It doesn’t differentiate between age, race, economic status. It’s sad for me to read the comments and see how many people have been affected and how helpless we are to aid our loved ones. I admit that I have a hard time feeling sympathy for addicts because I have been personally hurt too much but the comments are a helpful reminder that I am not alone.
I’ve had a Ben in my life too. It’s hard to judge Jen because we all know addicts wreak havoc in people’s lives. She’s a normal woman trying to the do the right thing with a rational sane head on her shoulders.
Addicts just don’t think or operate like normal sane people when they are in the throes of addiction.
Considering the opioid crisis going on in America right now, it’s more likely than not that you know at least one person affected by addiction.
I imagine the playboy model is frantically hoping her time with Ben was enough to sell for an interview or “exclusive .” Ugh.
you know ben was blacked out the entire time! I bet he doesn’t even remember her name!
It needs to be Ben’s mother or father, friends or his side of the family stepping in to bring him to rehab. This won’t stop him from dating 21 year olds. He has made it quite clear he will date whomever whenever. He should really enforce his divorce to just happen since we know Jennifer will never finalize it. I think he is acting out more because of it.
Ben’s mother is the wife of a drunk. His brother is three years sober and probably isn’t in a place to help. So he may not have family who is capable of helping.
A good question would be where is Matt Damon? and his other “friends”
it ain’t Ben that wants the divorce, and he isn’t acting out because he isn’t getting it.
More likely he is acting out because his long time affair had a come to jesus moment and left him, and also JG is doing great professionally right now. Addicts always shit on family and friends parades when things are going good.
I hate it that she called the paps..
Its like the sharkanado movie: its about time
The paps have been staking out his house for days since he brought the 22 year old home – they had photos of an alcohol delivery to the house The day prior to the intervention. That attention is hardly something that can be laid at her feet.
It’s been obvious he’s been headed for rock bottom for awhile. Ethical or not, he’s never been the one to keep his problems private, and the paparazzi knew it.
I don’t wish addiction on anyone and hope he gets the help he needs, BUT
This man should live the rest of his life thanking God that this woman ever walked into his life. While she is obviously motivated primarily by what’s best for the kids, a lot of people in her position could have just have easily thrown him in front of a judge, taken full custody and child support, and then told him to knock off. It takes compassion, empathy, and a lot of patience to be willing to work with somebody enough to believe they can do better and be better for your family.
Wonder how Shookus feels knowing she’s being cast in the role of “He’s just not that into you.”
I may side-eye Jennifer Garner’s “ah gee, I’m just a mom like you” image sometimes, but I have to give her respect for being a support to Ben (even if it is just to protect her kids). It takes a lot of strength to deal with someone with addictions and there can be a lot of resentment towards “the adult” who has to make the the hard calls. I also respect Ben for getting help; I think he wants to be a good father (and perhaps husband), but he has a lot of demons. Sometimes it takes more than a few rehab stints for it to stick. It doesn’t matter how many times you fall, what counts is how many times you get back up.
I do hope Ben, Jen, and the kids get therapy and can move forward as a family, whatever form that takes.
He’s never going to hit rock bottom and really get better as long as enablers keep stepping in to save him from himself. Ben’s problem is that he’s getting better temporarily for other people; not for himself. That pretty much never leads to meaningful or permanent change.
Unfortunately rich, famous people very rarely will hit bottom. Hell just look at Lohan still upright and walking around. It’s amazing she isn’t dead.
Right now JG is trying to prevent a OD from the cocaine he is vacuuming up his nose. This is not just a drinking thing. And he has has a long history of snorting.
Not wanting a dead father for your children is not enabling.
I’m speaking clearly in clinical terms and from a psychology standpoint. It’s great that Jen doesn’t want her kids father dead and it’s great that she wants to help him get help. Of course that tugs at everyone’s heartstrings. But, it doesn’t work. It never does. If it did, the first trip to rehab would have fixed Ben. JG needs to realize that she cannot fix Ben or force him to change. Divorce him, get full custody of your kids, and move on. At some point Ben may decide that he must change and he may be able to successfully to do it – or he may not. I’m simply pointing out that the current Ben – Jen relationship dynamic is highly toxic and damaging to both Jen and their kids. She can’t force Ben to be the father she wants him to be for their kids.
People can say what they like about Jennifer Garner, but that’s a good woman. That’s a woman who cares about him on a human level and knows how important it is for him to be his best for their children bc those kids love him and need him around. I really respect that.
Agreed. She is a decent person doing the decent thing. More than his millions, Ben is lucky to have someone who cares enough to pick him up and get drive thru. That is pure human love right there.
Apparently, I’m the only one who think that JG isn’t a saint. First, he had to be broken up but be with her. Then, he had to live nearby. Next, she doesn’t allow his long term gf to see the kids. I think JG is the reason he can’t let go of the bottle. Presumably, his previous gf dumped him because he couldn’t dump JG once and for all. I hope he does recover and finds the strength to keep her away from him. Despite being an alcoholic, he never was this bad. Poor Ben.
Correct, Jen only gets to be a part of Ben’s life to clean up his messes and how can she be that person if Lindsay was able to step up to the plate and fulfill that role? Clearly he went completely off the rails once Lindsay left him two weeks ago.
He can never really move on from Jen under the circumstances Jen has created here by banning long term girlfriends from being with the children and threatening to take the kids away from constantly. She should finalize the divorce and ask for full custody and let them both move on.
This isn’t the first time she’s held the proverbial gun to his head and said “lose your kids or go to rehab.”
Hopefully this is the last time she intervenes and she lets him figure it out on his own.
I wouldn’t have wanted LS anywhere near my children either. She is also a drunk and was perfectly happy to encourage ben to drink with her own binge drinking behavior. It’s not like LS doesn’t know he went to rehab and was trying to be sober.
Whatever Jen may be doing I believe it’s unintentional passive aggressive behavior.She loves her kids for sure and so does Ben ,I’m sure;perhaps he could find or will find someone to support him and his someday sobriety,but Jen letting go and watching all of this affect her kids is beyond fathom to me.They have a tough way to go,but it’s do able and maybe she can help him be the man he can be.My heart goes out to them all.I can’t imagine how the children feel going to school everyday knowing people hear of their family ‘s pain.
So a woman asking that the man that helped create their children with her live close by to be near to the kids and keep his trash girlfriends away from their kids can cause an addiction to spiral out control? LOL! The bullcrap some people make up.
Blaming Ben’s addiction on Jennifer is disgusting, and frankly ignorant. We’re blaming people for the addict’s behavior now? I don’t think so. And addiction is a disease not some bad choice!
She really wants the best for this man and her children. He was a fool to let her go in favor of gambling and younger women. I truly hope he gets the help he needs and his children will be okay.
True
On Aug. 21st RO has a report that the LAPD were called to Ben’s house & his dogs were loose. This must have been before Jen had the intervention? I wonder if Ben’s new neighbors called them & what was really going on?
No that was the day before. Ben was home. The paps called him to come open the gate, but he wouldn’t come. Finally he opened the gate from within the garage (a pap saw him), but it took a while for him to react. He was careful not to be seen. The lady was very ticked. His dogs stayed with her dog and that was the only way to keep them by the house until they could be let in. She got very frustrated when Ben wouldn’t come open the gate.
If they are still married she is probably the one that makes sections on the health care i ssues.
CDAN had a blind about this recently: “That sobriety thing is out the window right now for this permanent A list mostly movie actor who is an Academy Award winner/nominee. He called his now former public girlfriend more of a sober coach than girlfriend. He is back on the booze now in a big way.”
I’m no Ben fan, but I’ve always wished him the best.
Hopefully he gets real help, not just pampering in a fancy rehab.
Maybe he will do some serious introspective hard work and spends the time to come to the root of the problem.
His dad passed, because of his addiction issues, I hope Ben can avoid that.
He is a talented Oscar winning director, he has three healthy young children, a mother, a brother, his ex-wife that is trying to help, regardless of the circumstances and he also has great wealth.
So much to live for.
My heart goes out to anybody dealing with addiction, must be very difficult, especially in the entertainment industry, it can’t be good to live in such a fishbowl.
Garner gets a lot of hate on this site, but she seems to be a kind person, she could drag him to court and demand custody and under the circumstances, like the disturbing video on X17 I’ve just seen, she might get full custody.
He looks completely out it.
I don’t know how can Garner shield their kids from this mess.
Ben’s dad is alive. He was seen with them in NY in early July, I believe.
Got to agree with Patty. Ben is not going to get better with constant bail outs. He needs to get better because he sees a need to do it for himself.
This is reminding me of RDJ before he went to jail (all respect to him and how he recovered afterwards but – if memory serves -) before that he was this kind of messy.
All these comnents about how great Jen is shouldering this grown manbaby burden instead of how horrible it is for her to have to carry him while he refuses to grow up – while raising his three children – even giving him disease justifications for his avoidance of responsibility.
I’d honestly buy the poor Ben boo hoo more if this wasn’t the same guy who has to humiliate his partners into breaking up with him rather than owning it himself and ending a relationship. That says a lot about who he is to me.
It’s creepy and feeds into the erroneous belief that a “good woman’s love/strength/backbone can fix all”. Isn’t it his responsibility to fix himself and see the need for that when he has three children?
Jen clearly loves this tool and has a non-quitter temperament but her strength would probably be better put elsewhere than into yet another Bfleck blackhole bandaid moment. He’s been incredibly emotionally unfair to the family he’s helped create.
I’m glad to see some nice comments about Garner for once. I’m not a stan but I don’t think she’s the manipulative clinger alot of folks here peg her to be. Perhaps she’s just a kind person. I continue to hope she moves on one day and finds a decent man that will make her happy and be good to her kids.
I hope he’s able to get clean this time. I’m glad someone finally intervened. I just hope he’s willing to accept the help that real rehab would offer. He needs way more than yoga and a spa.
An addict will change when an addict wants to change…period.
I doubt Ben Affleck will ever get clean. Ben loves trashy women and booze…he’s a walking country music song, and seems to wander in and out of rehab to simply “keep the peace” and give the illusion of trying.
Oh man this has brought back some really awful memories : (
I WAS JG exactly once upon a time. I had two kids with a guy very similar to Affleck. The tragic thing was I moved heaven and earth to keep up the facade he was a great dad…not for anyone except my kids’ benefit. I had him dry out in my house, drove him to hospital and cared for him and this was long after we had broken up. Unlike what many people think, it wasn’t because I was ‘codependent’ or ‘clingy’…more so that I was desperate to keep him alive and functioning so he could be there for our boys.
After 15 years of this, (don’t judge – I really really tried) I finally gave up and thats when the shit hit the fan. He moved back home to his mother’s house and must have been very, very bitter about my abandoning him because all of a sudden all contact with me and the children was cut off. Him, his brother and his mum all ceased contact with me AND my kids. It was absolutely devastating to me and to the boys.
Honestly looking back I am filled with such a heavy heart and sense of loss, confusion and shame at things I don’t even understand. I tried so hard…and ended up being painted as the villain. Im still not over it all these years later.
I know exactly what JG is going though right now 🙁
An addict is someone who can look at themselves in the mirror everyday and say, “I love this substance more than my life and I choose this over my family.”
Shallow side-point: he can play Michael Cohen in the movie.
You know what? My mom did the same thing for my dad in the 70s. Unfortunately, my father’s addiction was heroin, which is a behemoth to overcome, but this is love. She knows who he is, what he can be, and she wants him to live. She has a new movie out right now, she should be out promoting it and raising her kids, and she’s prioritized her life to help him. There will come a point where he will have to come last, but she hasn’t reached it yet.