This is surprising. Shortly after Ben Affleck entered rehab for alcohol treatment, his divorce with Jennifer Garner was reportedly finalized, sort of. It’s not signed off on according to TMZ, as that is waiting for when he gets out of rehab. Remember how their divorce was in danger of being dismissed for lack of follow through? Around that time, Ben split with Lindsay, started publicly dating a 22 year old (not necessarily in that order) and spiraled out of control. Sources told US that Garner was waiting to finalize the divorce until Ben focused on his sobriety. This is speculation, but that could have been a bargaining chip during the intervention. I just don’t know, because it was reported that Ben reached out for help. However People reports that their divorce was close to being finalized anyway, as they were working out the details for some time. Here’s TMZ’s report:
Ben and Jen have reached a property settlement, which was complicated and time-consuming because of the fortune that needed to be divided. We’ve learned the couple did NOT have a prenup, so all of their earnings during their 12-year marriage went into one pot.
As for custody … we’ve learned they agreed to joint custody of their 3 children. What’s a little unusual … the settlement does not say how much custodial time Ben and Jen each get. We’re told they have gotten along great co-parenting the kids, and feel it’s better to shift custody back and forth depending on work schedules rather than abide by a rigid formula.
The settlement is complete, but it hasn’t been signed because of sobriety issues. However, we’re told when Ben is out of rehab and back on his feet it will be signed, sealed and delivered to the judge, and then the divorce will become final.
TMZ also claims that Ben has been drinking, off and on, for the last year and a half (remember he last got treatment in early 2017) and that what is taking so long.
Paparazzi agency X17 reports that Jen visited Ben in rehab on Friday. A source tells them that Jen is being supportive and that Ben “is on the fence about staying; Jen wants to continue to remind him why he needs help. It’s all about the kids — he’ll never get to see them unless he stays straight.” So this doesn’t jibe with him reaching out for help at all. It seems like he would be more committed to rehab if he did that. I hope that he will get sober and stay that way but the fact that he wants to ditch rehab already (if this is accurate) doesn’t bode well.
Photos credit: Backgrid and WENN
I’m pretty sure he was just partying and spent the night or two with that 22 year old, not that they were dating. Good for Garner, who has come out looking like a saint in this. I think the reports that it was an intervention and he was forced to go are probably more accurate than that he asked for help, but it’s not uncommon for someone to ask for help and then immediately want out once they get it.
Are people in rehab allowed to get visitors after just a few days? And yes, bad sign if he needs to be talked into staying, although he probably feels like hell right now.
I’m sure at rehabs in places like Malibu for celebs they can do whatever they want, lol.
He might feel like hell but he’s probably better off than if he’d tried to get sober on his own. My sister’s ex didn’t realize that he couldn’t just quit cold turkey and ended up in the ICU with kidney failure. And was treated with contempt by the staff for his reasons for admittance. He’ll probably have a lot better care and compassion where he is than most people with his illness/addiction get.
That’s really sad, Esmom. Addiction is a disease, and he could’ve died. The staff should’ve been more understanding, he is still a person with a life worth saving. JMO
It’s really common, honestly. We saw it all the time in my hospital. When people hit rock bottom, they know they need help, but actually going through the process of changing is far more difficult than admitting fault. The doors to both of our rehab units had to be locked and carefully monitored because people would attempt to escape halfway through treatment.
If you were classified as a danger to yourself or others you’d get put in a lockdown floor. I’m betting he volunteered to be there if he is locked in. And regrets it as soon as he feels slightly better. The privilege of roaming the grounds is earned.
I was put in one of those at the start of my recovery (3 years sober, thank goodness and may it last). I can say that at least for me it wasn’t not wanting to change… it was the absolute panic of being locked in when you’ve always been an independent person with agency. It’s terrifying and dehumanizing. And in my case, I had wrecked my body but mentally I was still in most senses myself (job, relationship, etc) but didn’t know what else to do. I was scared to death at 3am that my withdrawals were going to escalate and I was going to die because of my level of dependency. I spent 24 hours locked in with my personal belongings taken away, not even a magazine to read, my anxiety spiking because my brain was adjusting to the lack of depressants, people far more gone than me harassing me… I called myself in because I was scared but damn it was a nightmare. I still have actual nightmares about it. Rehab wasn’t much better because you’re still treated as a child, but those locked doors, that triggers a thing in you that I don’t think can be imagined if you haven’t experienced it.
It’s incredibly sad, but she’s probably gonna have to use these kids as the bargaining chips to keep him on the straight and narrow for the rest of his life. Or for as long as she can at least .
From my personal experience, the kids aren’t a bargaining chips and can’t be used to over come alcoholism. My alcoholic spouse was ordered by the court to clean himself up and provide the court with proof of sobriety before he can get visitation time with his 4 kids and that hasn’t happened 5 years later. Sometimes it’s a lost cause. Hoping for the best for everyone but it doesn’t always happen, even for movie stars that played Batman
It’s an older study, but previously it seemed regaining custody was a big motivator for women and keeping their job for men.
No. Kids aren’t bargaining chips to be used by one parent to force the other parent into sobriety. I feel so bad for the Affleck kids.
I don’t think the wording of *bargaining chips * is appropriate when applied to children,or any human for that matter,but think it’s being used as a way of saying he must be sober for visitation to be agreed upon and legally set.Ben must love his children very much and if he’s in rehab for them then good.I know the addict must want it for themselves,but doing it for his kids and staying sober to be the father they need must be somewhere in his heart and mind.IDK maybe I’m giving him too much credit but he keeps going back for help/therapy/rehab,maybe he can achieve sobriety this time.
This unfortunately puts a lot of emotional weight on the kids. Can you imaging the tripple whammy of your dad 1) not being able to get straight because 2) he didn’t love you enough so 3) what was so bad about you that you weren’t worth the effort? I hope their kids are in anAlanon family group…
I really hope he gets sober. That photos of him in the car are just horrible, no one should be watching them.
I agree!!! The media really has no shame by to smear those unhealthy pictures all over. I almost feel like they worked in Jen’s favor – maybe it was her plan?
Wow… that’s messed up to even say. Her plan for what? Her ex husband is very sick, that’s an actual fact.
The media are ruthless,but I don’t think Jen is at all.If Ben sees himself in these pics that could be a wake up.I know he’s looked awful in lots of other tabloids but these were real life in real time,and seeing himself this way and knowing it’s not a pap set up may help him see what others (especially his children)can and do see.
It’s his own fault, not only because he was that trashed on a weekday afternoon, but because he bought a home where the paparazzi could camp out 30 feet away. Why didn’t he get a gated/walled in home? I know divorces are expensive, but surely he could have found a more private home than the one he picked.
And Jennifer can’t be blamed for the photographs of him receiving a liquor delivery. He’s an A-list movie star, FFS, why are we seeing what’s being delivered to his house?! Absolutely insane.
Maybe he went on a bender to force Jen’s hand?
He looks awful in the pics where he went out with Shauna.
I don’t believe that he was thinking Jen when he was partying and drinking . He just was out of control.
That’s not how benders work.
Glad they are settling the divorce. I hope rehab works for him, and that Jen can focus on her own happiness soon.
I dont think he “reached out” for help. I think Jen had to stage an Intervention and Ben’s camp is already doing PR clean up.
He may have talked about needing help while at the same time continuing to drink.
Basically this. I have several family members with addiction issues and asking for help or “reaching out” while continuing to drink/use or then being resistant to help when its provided is pretty standard.
Yep. My sister talks about rehab all the time. But there’s always a reason why it won’t work out. Her car got towed (because you need a car in rehab?) The food looks gross at this one. She needs to be by the ocean to “heal.” I’ve given up believing her.
Oh Tanya I’m sorry.I had a relative who had to go to Key West one more time,went to one more therapy session,saw one more psychologist ( to try and scam pills) who couldn’t leave their dogs,even though their spouse was home.The same person had to fly home to visit a loved one and then wouldn’t get on the plane…On and on it went,until an extenuating circumstance forced them.I have no more contact with this relative bc I can’t believe them anymore.Sober,not sober,everything is someone else’s fault.My heart goes out to all who love an addict.
My boyfriend throws out “rehab” whenever his behavior gets bad. He acts like he is looking into residential rehab after a bender or extraordinary bad behavior.
He only says he is looking into residential rehab to manipulate loved ones into thinking he is remorseful for his more atrocious behavior. Once he’s diverted people’s attention from what he’s done wrong to “BUT i’m thinking about rehab”, it’s off the table and not mentioned until the next cycle.
@Meme – the boyfriend sounds like a manipulative a-hole. Please look after yourself.
Get out while you can, Meme.
Meme you are worth so much more than being manipulated by someone,even if you love them,even if he says he loves you.Don’t walk run! And don’t blame yourself when he blames you for his next binge/promises of rehab/self destruction cycle,and don’t be hard on yourself for staying however long you have.No doubt in my heart that you are lovable and deserving of receiving the treatment you deserve!💐
I don’t know if he really asked for help, or that is only the pr story, remember she had to come back to his place with bodyguards to stage an intervention.
I think she is over everything about him, and she is doing her best for he sake of their children.
“feel it’s better to shift custody back and forth depending on work schedules”…
….and on whether their father is sober.
Divorce finaliazed, the drama has just begun.
Yep. Making it more informal makes it easier for Jen to keep the kids without going to a judge for an emergency custody order when he starts drinking again
I agree, I think that was an intentional move, and a good one.
I hope there is some kind of stipulation that she has final say on when they spend time with their dad though. I mean what if sometime down the road he’s not sober, but he insists on seeing them? And how does that work with child support? Isn’t CS usually contingent on how much time they’re with the other parent?
If they run into trouble with the informal agreement, they can always go to a judge later for a ruling. My guess is that when he’s not sober, time with his kids is not the priority. He probably doesn’t give her any trouble when she says he needs to be sober around the kids.
That makes sense, Jwoolman. She obviously feels comfortable enough that she doesn’t feel like it’ll be an issue. My impression is that he has always let her take the lead when it comes to parenting their kids, so she may just know he’ll continue to defer to her when it comes to that. She’s seen him at his worst, so she’d know what was necessary to get in writing.
Yeah, Ben’s business people are back from vacation and starting the cleanup.
Ugh. This is all sorts of sad. I really feel bad for everyone involved. Does anyone think Ben has hit bottom? I don’t think so and I really don’t think Jen is doing Ben any favors. Her actions are definitely for the sake of the kids, but he may truly never get better until he’s lost everything.
I suppose that’s the catch-22 here, she is trying to keep him alive and sober for his kids, but that means he’s never really facing the consequences for his actions.
I think he will hit rock bottom only after a stroke which will destroy his brain or with his death.
My guess is rock bottom for him would have to be work-related. His family situation has been a mess for awhile and that didn’t do it, but his passion for his work has been spoken about a lot and how he doesn’t spiral when he’s working (so he spirals when he had free time with his wife and family?..sigh. They REALLY need to divorce.)
Losing out on or messing up something work related might (might) hit hard enough. But given Hollywood is the land of enablers…someone would clean up his mess.
But he lost already works such as directing and playing Batman. I believe his mental health problems are bigger than we know.He could use his free time writing scenarios etc. Successful movie stars as he was some years ago, have no free time.
I’m not so sure the Batman thing had much to do with these issues so much as it had to do with Live by Night being a major bomb and DC in general being a mess. I definitely don’t think this whole Batman gig ended up being what Affleck wanted though. He seems to be the one who wants out as much as anything.
I agree with your assessments, Mia. His career is where he takes most pride, but Live By Night was a failure on all fronts and that didn’t seem to wake him up. The other issue is, if he’s drinking, his ambition is probably muted at best. If there’s no chance of him failing career wise, what’s to stop him?
He became an absolute joke in the public eye after the J.Lo relationship and that seemed to bother him a lot. Now people respect him as a director and writer. I think he’d have to really screw up, like get in trouble with the law, for people to lose respect for him in Hollywood.
Almost every DC movie has been screwed up by Warner Brothers, so I think it was probably mutual. He wanted to jump off that sinking ship, and they weren’t sure if he could reliably produce something of quality after Live By Night. He has seemed ambivalent about playing Batman for awhile now.
I would like to not hear another word about this or about Jen specifically in relation to this. If she has work press to do, fine. But otherwise, I don’t want to see or hear anything about her or him or the kids during this. Like for a year or more. Unless it’s a work matter. This is callous coverage by the press.
Most reports now are saying he really spiraled after he and Lindsay split, which makes sense. I don’t think splitting with Lindsay was his idea. That’s never been his MO. He would prefer to stay with Lindsay and cheat on the side, just as he did during his marriage. My guess is, this won’t be the last we see of Lindsay.
I know people call her an enabler, and I agree to an extent, but she was also holding him together. He went from hiking with her parents and dogs to Jack in the Box drive-thrus with a 22 year old playmate and home deliveries of booze.
I don’t think she understood the depth of his addiction issues. She probably knows a lot of functional alcoholics and assumed he was as well, but Ben spirals and loses control. Functional alcoholics don’t look like that at 2 pm on a Wednesday afternoon. I also think his last bender involved more than alcohol, pills at the least.
If they get back together, she’s going to have to give up alcohol when she’s with him.
Ben reaching out out for help and then not being committed to rehab aren’t necessarily mutually exclusive narratives. Addicts/addiction rarely follow totally linear paths — I can completely see Ben making a late night drunken confessional call to Jen and then the following morning being belligerent and recalcitrant and requiring an intervention; finally accepting the need for rehab and being compliant in the car and then wanting out when the reality of rehab sets in.
Ah, the “Here’s Your F*cking Jack In The Box” picture!
I love that picture. I know it’s icky, but it says EVERYTHING. As a partner of an addict, I know that face.
His problem is that he’s never wanted to be sober. He’s an addict, yes, but thing is that a life of boozing and gambling and hanging with strippers would be his choice even if he wasn’t, even if he had full control of himself. That’s how he likes to live his life. He’s not someone who’s fallen into a bad situation and wants out, he likes his situation.
It’s impossible to help someone like that. You can try and clean them up a little when they go too far, but end of the day they are who they are.
The stuff about the kids…even at his healthiest Affleck was quite clear family wasn’t his priority. I’m sure he loves his kids, but does anyone really think he has any interest in being an active, hands on single parent for more than a few hours here and there? This is not a guy who’d see 50/50 custody as an incentive to clean up. This is a guy who actually finds supervised visitation convenient.
I think this is pretty spot on. Ben maybe tried to be the family man and certainly liked what it did for his image, but in the end he loves gambling and partying. I’m pretty sure Jen staged the intervention as a requirement of the divorce, or his “reaching out” is saying yea I’ll go if you give me the divorce.
I don’t think his heart is into sobriety or ever will be.
You are 100% correct.
He will only take the treatment seriously when he wants his lifestyle to change. I agree that I think he likes his lifestyle like this.
This is it. I totally agree with this assessment.
Yeah you are spot on about custody @Marie, 50/50 isn’t his goal (and she would probably be terrified of the idea), but once again it would not look good “publicly” to admit or show that. And no way he goes anywhere “alone” with those kids for the foreseeable future. I bet Jennifer is a bit more careful on the nanny hiring these days!
I can think of a few celebrity co-parents who have said they adjust time based on work schedules. It makes sense. But do we really think Jennifer is going to be on set in Atlanta or where ever and fly in on weekends while Ben does the school run all week? Have we ever seen anything close to that when they were married? He is who he is.
I agree, he won’t stay clean until he wants it.
Agree. I’ve been speaking to this from day one. She picked him and his addiction issues were already known as a problem while he was with JLo.
I neva had an issue with Jennifer and the way she handled her marriage…I got it…she was strung out over him…pure and simple…she adored him…even knowing his faults which I don’t think she ignored…I think she thought he would age out of the behavior…that success and a family would make him act more like Matt…problem is…he ain’t like Matt when it comes to that type of stuff…he never was…never will be…his values regarding family are WAY DIFFERENT than Matt’s…and folks are gonna be who they’re gonna be…She grew up in this relationship…he didn’t…and now it’s over…and she did it without catching a case, busting ALL of his car windows…or dragging him for filth in public….
Now…if we could get someone to DRESS Miss Jennifer from head-to-toe before she steps out of the house…THAT’S the only issue I have ever had with her…
Cosign. I think she’s a really good mom, tried to be a perfect wife so he would be happy and they could all live a happy, healthy life together, and she gave it her all until she had nothing left. And then she STILL went and scraped him into her car and drove him to get food and to treatment, and gritted her teeth and reminded herself that she loves her kids, and her kids are half him. I think she is strong, and loving, and compassionate and patient, and I admire the hell out of her. AND I think someone needs to take her shoe shopping in the WORST way. 😉
I will believe in the divorce the day both sign the papers and send it to a judge. The information about the divorce not progressing was information they did not want to leak out. It came out on slow entertainment news day Friday, after the tabs already printed out their weekly issue. They need to stop playing games with the public and just say “no comment”.
I don’t know why everyone paints the “Jen G staged an intervention to save her ex-husband” as positive. What I see is a man who was unwilling to take the concrete steps to get help and was forced to do so (probably, under the threat to lose custody of his children), not someone who is trying to clean himself up. No wonder he’s already talking about getting out, he never wanted to go in the first place.
Sadly, I do not believe that Ben asked for help. She would not have left & came back with a bodyguard the 2nd time. (She would not have needed one) Also, the way Ben was acting on the ride to rehab unfortunately tells & shows it all !!! Ben was completely out of control & in the state he was in, there is no way he probably was even coherent enough to make that decision! Ben’s PR is trying to clean up this disaster. But teally ACTIONS speak louder than mere words & are more believeable!!!
If the rumors are true, (And God i hope they are not), Ben does not want to stay in rehab. If true, i believe this is why the divorce will be final when he gets out of tehab & signs the papers.
I’m no expert in rehab, but making the decision to check yourself in, and then almost instantly regretting it, trying to check out seems super normal to me. Addiction is a near impossible disease to overcome and part of its insidiousness is that addiction makes your brain tell you lies. Getting sober is a physically painful, emotionally debilitating process; having second thoughts about wanting to endure it seems very unsurprising to me.
Those of us who have never been through it have no idea how hard it is. How messed up your brain chemistry is and how physically hard it is neve4 mind the emotional element. I think it is sheer hell.
I haven’t been through it either, so I don’t want to pretend I speak from a place of personal authority.
I’ll believe they are divorced when it is finally announced. I understand Jen wanting to wait for Ben to get his demons with addiction settled but for some addicts it takes years to overcome and they often relapse. And I do believe this is part of the reason why their divorce has taken so long. Ben keeps falling off the wagon and Jen wants him to be in their children’s lives and doesn’t want to cut him off. I also don’t think she has it in her to do that so she keeps putting things on hold so she doesn’t have to make a request for full custody. She doesn’t want to go on the warpath with him.
Also I’m not surprised there isn’t a prenup. Jen got knocked up so fast with Violet after they started dating, it was something like 6 months into their relationship. They went off to some random island in the Caribbean or something, Victor Garber was the only person present and he officiated. It was a whirlwind and I don’t think either were thinking of the long term.
How irresponsible to get knocked up 6 months into a new relationship.
She seems a bit manipulative with the children and pregnancies. I just watched an interview where Ben was asked if he wanted a fourth child and he got serious and basically said – absolutely not no way.
I got the impression the third child was a surprise to him as well. Their son was conceived AFTER the Blake Lively affair rumors so..
By the time the Nanny affair was revealed and Jen garner said something along the lines of she hadnt been kissed in 10 months or something…i think Ben stopped sleeping with her because he probably didnt trust her that she wouldnt get pregnant again.
If it was such a surprise he should’ve gotten a surprise vasectomy.
Here we go again with the Jen trapped him with pregnancy trope, as if a man is also not responsible for procreating.
Yeah I’ve never been one of the conspiracy theorists who thinks Jen tried to “trap” Ben into marriage. Plenty of celebrities have kids together and never get married and then break up. I just remember the timeline because at the time Jennifer was still on Alias, a show I loved, and the fifth and final season had to be pushed back to accommodate her pregnancy much to my frustration. I always blamed Ben Affleck for ruining Alias, not Jennifer haha.
It is also a possibility that you can start a pregnancy behind your partners back by not taking your agreed upon birth control. I think that can be viewed as a huge breach of trust. I see the point here – that getting knocked up 6 months into a relationship (with a man who was engaged to JLo in the past year) could be viewed as irresponsible and reckless on her part.
He seems like the type that is way too egotistical to have a vasectomy.
He’s been in rehab for days and already wants to leave, how many times will she use children as a bargaining chip to get what she wants from him? I think they both are manipulators and she needs to let him go at this point
Yeah, you gotta watch out for them females with their vaginas. They’re like Venus Fly Traps, just waiting to close the trap shut on an unsuspecting male. He’s lucky she didn’t devour him afterwards like a Praying Mantis.
This is ancient history- but I think they were together for close to a year when she became pregnant with Violet. ( not 6 months). Their relationship became public when they went to red six playoff game together – that was 6 months. Anyway – he did not have to propose to her and marry her. Barbara Walters actually asked him this question and he corrected her on the timing and said – it may not sound like the greatest way to start off – but we were really in love and we just embraced it. I don’t think he was trapped – certainly in those first years he looked all in.
Right on! I’ve always believed that JG got pregnant to trap Ben. She had no other way of keeping his interest, and without the baby their “relationship” would have fizzled out.
Even if you are using birth control, it can fail. There is nothing to suggest by either of them that it was anything other than that. They both embraced their child and I imagine Ben was excited to have the chance to, as he put it, “be the father he never had.” This trapping theory is so disrespectful to all involved.
It wasn’t Jen’s or Ben’s plan. .It was just the plan of the universe, because a wonderful girl like Violet came to the earth.
Honestly, she’s got more leverage/control of they’re married. As long as there’s no court order, she can keep the kids away from him with legal impunity.
Here is my addiction story with my son.Alcoholic and cocaine user. His first rehab which I pushed for was very nice. It was 6 weeks.He was clean and sober for 1 plus a bit year. Then 3rd DUI he rolled our vehicle multiple times. He could have very easily been killed but a broken shoulder was what he got. I went to pick him up from the hospital a couple hours later. He tried to jump out of my vehicle 4 times on the hour and a half drive home.I took him to psychiatric unit in a hospital. After a couple days they released him said it wasnt a rehab.This time the judge sent him to jail. In jail after his sentence was served he went to a rehab for 5 months which the jail helped set up. It was not fancy. It was in a rough part of the city. The surroundings showed him how low he could go. There was temptation outside the door at all times. There was zero family contact for 1 month.This was what he needed to get strong again . I truly believe fancy rehab doesnt cut it . And this time it was his idea not mine. And there is aftercare for him. Sober living apartment and counsellor appointments. And meetings.
I have to agree with you! I do not think a fancy rehab is going to help him. . When they were describing it & what it offers, i thought this sounds like they are describing a vacation spot… i don’t doubt that they do / try different therapies. But with the expense of this rehab, you have to wonder if it is just more about the money ? I really hope not….
Omg I know Ben now he doesn’t want a divorce he wants Jen to be one of throes doormat wives like Queen Elizabeth I I #nope live your best life Jen losing those 30 pounds really shows in your face!😘
I think Ben’s bottom is still a lot lower.
Unfortunately I give Ben maybe two weeks and he will bail. I worked addiction recovery and he doesn’t want to be there. He loves drugs and alcohol more. There isn’t just alcohol involved. Jen probably visited because he is threatened to leave. He has some mental health issues to work through on top of his addiction. I don’t believe he wants a divorce. Keeps women and escorts at bay and he can string Jen along. Plus he can see the kids when he feels like it. He probably threatened to kill himself fir dramatic effect and that’s what scared her. Then once she lined everything up he got pissy in the car. It’s all very sad. He hasn’t hit bottom yet. Unfortunately I don’t think he will recover when he does. The poor beautiful children deserve better. Jen does too. Alcoholics and addicts can be very manipulative and charming. Till you’re done. Jen is done.
There will come a time when Jen will just give up. I did that with my alcoholic sister, I did it with an alcoholic boyfriend. When they repeatedly turn away from proper psychiatric care and rehab, there’s nothing you can do to make them see the light. If he’s still relapsing into his various addictions despite having 3 gorgeous children then it’s time for tough love, lock-down and a long, long rehabilitation or he’s going to end up dead.
@ Tiffany
Drop mic…
OMG! I am dying!!!
Loved your comment!
If that was for me, thank you!
Sexism brings out my sass, what can I say?
Well, I’m definitely applauding. I can’t stand that kind of talk either. Most sexual experiences could end up creating a child. Sometimes I feel like people don’t want to admit that they don’t have 100% control over reproduction, there’s always human error to consider outside of the 99.9% effectiveness.
I’m so sick of the entirety of birth control falling to the woman. I can’t wait for there to be male birth control. Somehow I doubt we’ll be shaming men for not taking their pills on time every day when there’s a surprise pregnancy.
Great points, Sophia’s!
The picture of him in the car is so heartbreaking. Jen is quite possibly the best person to ever happen to him (besides his children). He really is a fool for letting her go. I truly hope he can get sober and stay sober, but unfortunately I don’t think this is going to end well for him.
I was looking for the Lindsay Shookus article here. There was one one this morning. Where did it go?
Good. Kids or not, she can’t save him. Parents think the push and pull of them trying to get their addict spouse “under control” is a good idea and good for the kids, but it isn’t. What’s good for the kids is stability, and if Ben can’t be stable, then he shouldn’t be around, father of the kids or not.
It’s time for her to move on and let Ben deal with his own addiction.
I don’t see the harm in her being there for him. It’s not like she’s taking him back into their family home to nurse him back to health. If she wants to visit him in rehab while the kids are at school, that doesn’t really affect the kids at all. She obviously has a sway over him that no one else has given that she’s the one that got him into rehab.
If she had rushed in a year ago or something, I’d agree with you, but he has obviously been spiraling the last several weeks. She let him hit rock bottom before she stepped in.
Her constantly being there to pick him up doesn’t allow him to hit a bottom. he needs to realize what he will lose if he is to change.
He keeps needing her to be there for him, because he knows she will be there if he really screws up. It’s the cycle of a codependent enabling relationship. She shouldn’t be taking him anywhere, or convincing him, or coercing him, that’s part of the problem. He needs to hit the floor and drive HIMSELF.
She has rushed in before? This has been going on for years with his addiction.
Kids aren’t oblivious at all. They’re not “keeping” anything from them, and everything is in the press nowadays five minutes after it happens. I grew up in one of these houses. You always, always know what’s going on, from a very young age, and it generates a ton of anxiety, even if it doesn’t directly involve you as a child. Kids are highly observant, and people forget that as soon as they become adults.
I also worked in res treatment for kids. I guarantee you the oldest knows what is going on.
According to his sources, he wanted to go to rehab when she took him. Him having second thoughts now is a different issue. We don’t know how she came to show up at his house. It’s possible she showed up unannounced and it’s possible he called her and asked her to take him to rehab.
You’re saying he needs to drive himself, but an alcoholic person struggling to get sober does need help. They have to want to change, but that doesn’t mean they must do every single thing unassisted to get there. She gave him a ride.
The fact that the press is reporting everything just makes it more understandable to me that she got involved. She knows her kids will one day see all the photos the rest of us have seen. He seemed to not care at all that his every stupid move was being photographed, so I understand if she was feeling antsy as he continued falling to whatever would end up being his rock bottom.
Again this isn’t the first time. Their back -and-forth codependency and his struggles with addiction has been documented for years.
She drove over there, talked to him for hours, got him food, drove him to rehab, probably did other things. This has happened before. it is codependent. He needs to fall flat on his face, without a net, if he wants to get sober and stay sober. Why would he change if he knows she’ll always be there if he really screws up, to buy him food and dry his tears?
If what she was doing worked, he’d be sober, and it would be part of treatment protocol. But it’s not. What she is doing is codependent, and it’s helping him stay sick.
And again, the years-long back-and-forth with her involvement is terrible for the kids.
who is representing Jen legally?
I think Laura Wasser, who was also Angelina Jolie’s attorney until very recently.
In mediation cases, the same attorney represents both parties. If they don’t come to a final agreement that attorney can’t represent either party in the divorce case.
Divorce in peace
Thr paps keep following Shauna Sexton all around. Why aren’t they following Lindsay Shookus? I would think they would be following her?
Someone said there was an article on Shookus & then she could not find it again….