Both of my parents had filthy mouths. I come by it naturally – you don’t want to hear all of the “four-letter Anglo-Saxon words” that come spilling out of my mouth when I’m in the car, sitting in traffic. Sometimes I surprise myself with my own foul language. I’ve always believed – rightly – that I get it from my parents, that if they were the kinds of people to say “gosh darn it” or “my goodness,” then perhaps I wouldn’t be dropping f-bombs and c-words every hour of every day. Here’s the thing though: growing up, my parents hated it when I said obscene words. I didn’t really let the obscenities fly around them until I was well into my teen years. But kids today are different. Amber Rose’s five-year-old son Sebastian gets to curse at home with his mama’s blessing. Wrong or nah?
Amber Rose will never send her 5-year-old son Sebastian to his room for swearing.
“I let my son curse in the house because it’s a form of expression,” Rose told Us Weekly at her SlutWalk event in Los Angeles. According to the 34-year-old activist, it’s OK for the little boy to drop an F-bomb if he has injured himself. “Kids like to curse,” she explained. “I tell him when it’s appropriate and not to say it at school. That’s it.”
While the model is fine with “f—k”, she wishes Sebastian would quit using the N-word, a term he picked up from his rapper dad, Wiz Khalifa. “I tell him, ‘I’d rather you say f—k,’” Rose revealed.
Though Sebastian only just started kindergarten, Rose is also ready to talk to him about the birds and the bees. Rose plans to stock the house with condoms when Sebastian is “a certain age” and feels ready for sex.
“I’m going to put them in his drawer next to the bed and be like, ‘I don’t want you have sex right now, but if you do, this is how to protect yourself,’” she told Us. She then joked that Sebastian will know about how babies are made before he stops believing in Santa.
I don’t know… is that really a thing? “You can say the f-word at home, never at school, and there are times when it’s inappropriate.” It sounds confusing for a little kid. Then again, maybe she’s a parenting genius – by accepting it at Sebastian’s young age, maybe she’s making cursing unglamorous and less fun. If mom lets you say it in the house, why would you even say it?? As for the condom thing… she said some other stuff about how she’s always going to talk with him openly about sex and consent and all of that, so it’s not like she’s just throwing a box of condoms at him with no information.
Here are some photos of Amber at her annual LA SlutWalk.
Photos courtesy of WENN.
I get it but I sort of don’t. They’re just words sure but does a 5 year old really possess the ongoing self control to not blurt them out when they’re not supposed to? He apparently already says the n word despite his mum not liking it. I agree hysteria over bad language is silly but until the rest of the world catches up you have to be the one making sure your kid goes along to get along.
Good luck with not having the child cuss any where but at home.
Exactly. Very young children aren’t going limit cursing to their home.
Exactly! My mom always said: what you do at home, you will do elsewhere.
My mom has never ever cursed. Neither has my father. Yet three out of four of us curse.
I do not curse frequently, just when I am frustrated at something. But still…
Yes and I’m terrible when I’m driving and regretted my kids hearing and repeating. But, if I made a big deal out of it, which I did once, my toddler daughter stood on the ottoman with her friend and they shouted “sh*t” at the top of their lungs. They thought it was the most hilarious thing ever. What is/was important is that they’re so caring and involved in social justice and in this world you need a few f bombs to throw around.
I raised three boys ( no girls) They are going to swear!!!!!!! When they were small I told them they could say any word in the bible. (Damn, ass, hell) and when they got a little older I told them they could say what they wanted just never in front of girls or grownups! (that really only leaves boys) But that freedom taught them that certain things are appropriate at different times. You know, no swearing in front of people who don’t swear ( like at church) light swearing in front of people who light swear ( like girls they liked or were friends with) and all out potty mouth when you’re with your raunchy buddies. I figured that’s how the real world is. I saved my “Never say that in my house!” moments for words that hurt other people. Words that were unacceptable in my house…. I hate you (never ever allowed) the n word ( I just couldn’t accept it even in music) C U Next Tuesday (never acceptable in my book). You know I just wanted them to be good people who respected other people’s boundaries without turning words into weapons. When it comes to words , I would tell them, it’s all about your intention not your word choice. (I learned early from my mother that you can hurt people more with sweet words than any swear word invented, bless her heart!)
Yeah I can agree with this. I explained to both my boys all the swear words and slurs and what they mean and the appropriate/consequences of using them, and I’m glad I did. Same with sex education. My kids know all about it, as I wanted them to know the real facts before they heard it wrong from anyone else. And they still both believe in Santa Claus! They’re only 6 and 9. I am totally on board with Amber’s approach to these things.
Kids do know the difference. When i was young my mom worked at a daycare and i was privy to info about other kids there and i never told any other kids about it. My kids are allowed to curse and they never do at school or any sitiation really that isnt at home.
My husband & I curse often and vehemently — in private, as we don’t wish to offend others. Of course our young son wanted to emulate us, so I’d set a timer for 10 minutes once or twice a day when he could curse as much as he wanted to. It was great fun for the first minute or so, but trying to curse for 10 minutes straight gets old fast. It was pretty funny that he’d get it out of his system quickly and move on to something else!
From toddler-hood, our son had no problem making the distinction between “private” — what’s allowed at home in front of parents only — and “public.” He asked early where babies came from. He understood that he wasn’t allowed to share that info with other kids — that he’d gotten answers about sex long before a lot of other kiddos do, and that it was parents’ job to tell their children, not his. He got that parents might not allow him to play with their kids anymore if he disclosed that. Same with the Santa fairy tale, he knew that it wasn’t ok to burst other kids’ bubbles.
I’m sure it’s different for some kids, but he was consistently respectful of the boundaries of where and when it was OK to curse, even when he heard other young kids spouting expletives. Now that he’s matured into a delightful adult, we’ve noticed that he’ll curse on occasion but far, far less than we do, and never in front of others who might be offended.
@egot & @checkthatprivilege I have the same experience. My older kids do not curse a lot and my younger hate cursing (which will probably change). I believe shedding light on certain things by forbidding them makes them more desirable. And cursing is such a non-problem that it’s a good way to start a dialogue about context with them (not in these terms obvs). I explained some curse words such as b***h (female dog to woman who goes out with lots of boys) and they were really curious. We talked about sexism thanks to that (my youngest is 9). Thing is, they will hear these words in songs and with other kids. Also my kids were never told the Santa thing but they never told at school.
My own parents were no standard of “raising a better next gen”. As “free love style hippies”, they virewed pregnancy as an inconvenience, and let us raise ourselves for the most part. They did every crass thing in front of us kids, and I loathed the ugliness. My son has heard me swear in anger and it upset him! We started a $5 swear jar, and it helped my awareness. I explain that it’s lack of expression that resorts to common ugly swear words. All emotions are okay, it’s just handling that we work on. I taught him to be more creative and respectful of others both at home and in public.
They absolutely know. I grew up listening to my mom and uncle curse like a pair of drunken sailors, but never used those words around them until I was in my late teens. When I had my own children, the family culture worked this way: We called them “family words,” and you were only allowed to utter them in the presence of immediate family. They’re adults now, with respectable jobs and families of their own, and seem to have successfully navigated this particular minefield.
I’m sure his teachers will appreciate her letting her angel express himself when she has a class of five year olds saying FU. Must be one interesting parent/teachers meeting when his classmates parents start to question why their kids are swearing at them….they had to have learned it at school….lol.. @&%!! 👩🎓👨🎓
Wow, I find her super unrecognizable with hair, I don’t think I’d have had a clue who that was.
I thought it was Christina Aguilera.
Omg, I totally see that now! I would not have known that was her.
Same.
She looks so much better sans hair. With the long blonde she looks, dare I say, basic.
I am a curser too. I worked with teens on probation in Baltimore after graduating college, and one of them told me I cursed like a sailor, just to give you an idea of how I talk. I truly don’t think it is a measure of a person, and I don’t judge people when they drop an f-bomb. That being said…. so many people DO judge if you curse too much, and its inappropriate in a professional work space, and so I think it is better to not really get in the habit. So, with my tween niece, I explain to her that I’m sorry (and I do try to curb it, but it’s my repertoire) and I tell her that she really shouldn’t do it because some people will think she’s not as nice of a person or make judgments based on that that aren’t good. She gets it. She’s so funny. She’ll be like, “she’s such a b-word!”
I think this is it, best not to get into the habit, which would be hard to break if/when the need arises. It’s definitely not appropriate in a professional environment.
I rarely curse (Twitter seem to be the place I do it most, lol), my parents never did in front of me, and now my teens rarely do it, at least in front of me. I know that cursing is highly prevalent in the halls of high school but at least teens know better to turn it off in front of teachers. As a preschool teacher, I honestly don’t think a five year old would the control to be able to turn it on and off in different environments.
Also, I’m not sure about the “it’s a form of expression” rationale. So is beating the crap out of someone…point being there are plenty of other forms of expression, lol.
Most of us do cuss to a degree. I come from a large family where swearing in front of my parents wasn’t acceptable. (Still isn’t!) I hate when someone swears profusely in front of my kids. The standard answer (generally from men) is oh you don’t think they’ve haven’t heard that before! That isn’t the point. So far so good with my kids at home…..I’d hate to hear my girl in her princess dress say oh f-ck, I should have worn my white socks, not the pink. Haha!
Luckily I work in a newsroom… even though many of us have to “turn it off” once we’re on camera, we have some of the most acceptable cursing culture in professional environments. Journalism and politics, I think! You do learn appropriate and inappropriate situations though. And we have VERY strong “switches”. I will not curse wearing a microphone, even if I can see that our microphones are closed and no one can hear us. All it takes is one mistake for those mics to be live in a split-second!
I taught my older son that; granted he was a bit older, probably in his early teenage years or pre-teen years, when I found him cussing with his friends. I just told him to know his audience; I understand doing it in front of your friends. Doing it pretty much anywhere else like school or in front of your grandparents is not your audience. I never had a problem with him breaking those rules.
Actually, everything she said there is right. She’s teaching her kid about code switching, something that can be taught at an early age. I curse a lot, if I ever have kids, I too will have to teach them that they can’t say those words outside of the family circle, just like I’ll teach them that they can’t write like they talk and have to talk differently when talking with me, their friends or their teachers. Knowing to code switch is a powerful tool!
And every kid should know where babies come from before they stop believing in Santa! It’s not meant to be a secret, it’s not a dirty thing! (of course, you don’t go into details, but the physiological/anatomical part can and should be taught whenever kids ask about it) It’s a good opportunity to start talking about consent and how others shouldn’t touch their bodies if they don’t want it. Having condoms available when the kid hits his teens is something that my mum did too, it didn’t make us prematurely promiscuous or anything (my sex life started after I moved out), but we knew that if we were ready, we had access to protection and it’s great.
I curse. My teen nieces curse but not around adults as a sign of respect. Good enough for me.
True story. Years ago my mom was driving my then five year old niece to school. My niece was in her booster seat playing with her Bratz dolls. She made one turn to the other and say “I don’t want to wear this shirt” to which the other doll replied “F$#! You.” My mom nearly crashed her car. Later conversations revealed my niece learned the word at school. Catholic school lol.
That’s funny
Hilarious!
Otaku!! I miss you!
This isn’t happening in my house. Lol Nope, nope and triple nope.
I also thought it was a picture of Christina A.
Both my parents swear, most people do in my culture. I’m in my 40s and I still won’t in front of my parents and older relatives. Or online!
Where does it stop? When I was young, cursing among us teens was very seldom seen, only a few did it.
Today, I work in education, and the young teens and even children say the worst, most vulgar things, words that I only heard first one time when I was being gun-point robbed, and today is a common word. No, I wont allow it.
If you talk to your grandparents, you’d hear how they had their mouth washed out with soap. Reminds me of Mean Girls. She is a cool mom. I think it’s rather naïve, not to mention confusing to a five year old, to think it’s ok to curse at home, but not school. What about at grandmas or the neighbors. She’s an idiot who likes to make statements to get her the attention she graves, like shaving her head isn’t enough. LA Slut Walk, yeah, she’s a cool mom.
No. Just no. The ignorant old prudes trivializing women as ‘attention-seekers’ for participating in Slut Walk are part of the problem. Perhaps if some were less determined to prove that liberal women can still be ‘Ladies’, and more determined to be less complicit in misogyny and victim-blaming in their daily lives, they’d be less dismissive. Being a sex-positive feminist doesn’t make a woman a ‘Cool Mom’, and neither does being unoffended by profanity.
BTW, if someone is actually going to call another woman an idiot for being less traditional, I think the least that person could do is make sure the word ‘craves’ is spelled correctly in their takedown.
Wow, you told me. I stand by my opinion. BTW, punctuation goes within quotations if you are still doing the grammar policing. Further, I am not ignorant nor an old prude, unless you call a woman 7 months pregnant old. Hoping you were just having a bad day when you attacked my opinion so harshly.
Young children cursing, nope.
I had a co-worker who thought it was cute when her pre-schooler cursed. That is, until she brought said pre-schooler to a family work function and when our boss spoke to the family, the kid pipes up, “Fuck you, Mama doesn’t like you anyway!” Everyone tried laughing it off and co-worker acted flabbergasted. Things were quite awkward at work the next week (small company, less than 20 people), and she soon found another job afterward.
I don’t think it’s cute, and I would never allow it in my home if I had kids.
I don’t have kids but this is a nope for me. I curse a lot but I try (and usually fail) to watch my language around my niece and nephew. My nephew had a brief spat of adding ‘ass’ to end of everything that seems to have gone away. He’d be in the naughty corner if he was saying the F word on the regular.
I still really like Amber Rose. I don’t agree with her on this but she’s still a cool chick and seems like a good mother.
just popped in to say i love her in this look! she is bombshell stuff right there
Think letting the child do what they want mentality, esp. cursing leads to a bad mannered kid when they are out In society. Manners 100% matter because they teach the child to respect other people boundaries and considered other people other than yourself. Also rules for small children actually makes them feel safer, less confused with decisions and more secure.
I think it depends on the kid and how impulsive they are naturally. Mine swears at home, it’s not a big deal and never has been. She was taught from an early age where it’s acceptable and where it’s not. Same with very heavy make up and clothes that fall outside of school acceptable.
We’ve never had an issue, or we’d have different rules. She’s receptive to them and we have a ton of fun at home letting our inner sailors out.
Oh boy good thing they don’t live in my town. Even if we let our child do that at home God help her at daycare or school. It would be very confusing for her to be allowed to swear at home and not anywhaere else. Consistency is the key.
Consistency, exactly. Thank you.
I don’t mind swearing from people of any age group. You can have manners and curse; you can respect others without yielding to their more conservative values. But it is important to know that in certain situations, swearing can cost them something. #FuckJudeoChristianValues
My son is allowed to swear and he has never accidentally said a swear word at school. Kids understand that different places have different rules.
Live and let live, however…
I also grew up with foul-mouthed parents, especially my mom. Still, I wasn’t allowed to curse at home. I have such fond memories of relishing “swear words”. I think that’s a big part of why I enjoy using them in certain situations. If he’s always allowed to say them, will he relish it so much? Maybe that’s her whole point, he could end up swearing less than kids not allowed to. Then she probs wins on that 🙂 But curse words MEAN something when I say them! There was nothing like that hushed voice before you said “fuck” to your friends.
Kids definitely know the difference. I’m all about taking the taboo out of stuff to make it less enticing. I don’t mind if my kids “cuss”, so long as they’re not cursing OUT people. That’s more kindness than anything. Sometimes a curse word is the right word for the job, and they’re all just words in my eyes. But…my kids won’t cuss. They know their dad doesn’t like it, and they just won’t do it. I suspect that my older two probably curse around their friends, as I’ve heard a very comfortable but unnoticed “what the h-ll?” emit and my husband claims to have heard worse, but they won’t consciously do it around us even with my permission.
My parents also had filthy mouths and so do I. But I also grew up knowing that those are grown up words. My mom’s rule and mine for my kids is: I don’t care what you say when you’re out with your friends, but I better not hear any cussing out your mouth, and I better not hear from any other adult that you were cussing. That’s the rule until age 18.
I’ve always let my son curse in the car. He has never cursed in front of adults or in inappropriate places because he knows the difference between a car and everywhere else. I was told he was the kindest, most helpful and most empathetic child in the class by his teacher at our most recent conference, so I disagree that letting children curse turns them all into little a/holes. To each their own!
I do swear around my kids. Not a lot, but I do. Sometimes they repeat words, and I just matter of factly say, “welo, really only grownups should swear, but if you do, never at work or school. Mommy and Daddy don’t swear at work or school. That’s inappropriate.” Seems to work. My kids are under 7. I don’t make such a big deal about it.
On a completely different topic, when did white orthopedic sneakers become a thing?
Kids are crazy smart! I know so many kids who act like angels and I’m always surprised when the parents are like, they aren’t like that at home. At his age, he’s old enough to understand the concept of at home but not at school. My nephews like run around without clothes at home but they never disrobe at school; they practice the five second rule at home but know better then to eat food off the floor in public, and the list goes on and on.
Sounds like to me she’s taking the approach of I’d rather have you do it at home than in public. Kanye shrug. – and I agree with her on the N word usage, that’s what I’d be more concerned with too.
Ohhh my, the prudishness in these comments is making me feel so weird. Cursing is not a big deal. There are many more things you can say to people that are far, far more hurtful than expletives. When I was a kid, I was allowed to curse around my parents and definitely understood and observed boundaries–don’t swear around elderly people or younger children. My brother and I turned out just fine. We’re both very respectful people who do curse. Same with our partners. Jeez. I think the way Amber is raising her son is perfectly fine and in fact seems delightfully progressive.
Nope, no swearing in my house. They can darn well use swear words like I did – furtively as a teen and then only occasionally around my parents.
But good on her for age appropriate sex ed. As someone said upthread – it’s not dirty to know where babies come from (although my kids are still way too little for the condom talk).
My mom hated for me to swear and I would as I got older. My mom would say “sunny beaches” instead of “son of a b….”. You get my drift, so out of respect, when I was around her I wouldn’t swear. My dad, on the other hand would swear in Spanish, so that was Ok., although mom hated it.
I don’t let my kids curse but I don’t think it’s confusing to have different expectations of home behavior and public behavior.
There are jokes and words I let my six year old say at home that he knows not to say at school. Fart, stupid, dumb, etc, banter he exchanges with his older teen siblings that’s not cool to say to other first graders.
My kids had no problem keeping it at home only
Smack talk while playing Xbox but never at school.
We never had a issue with this for either of my boys, neither ever cursed at school.
Young grade school to highschool.
…she lets her cute kid curse but look at that photo…standing next to him in embroidered ol lady track gear..lololol…do you think she lets him toke…