I’d actually forgotten that we had not yet seen Gwyneth Paltrow’s wedding dress. There was some speculation that maybe Gwyneth had sold or given her wedding photos to Vogue, People Magazine or some other site or publication. But no – Gwyneth saved her wedding photos for her own site, Goop. It’s cross-promotional – come for the wedding photos and stay for the pseudoscience.
Anyway, considering Gwyneth’s September wedding to Brad Falchuk was her first “real” wedding – she and Chris Martin eloped when she was pregnant with Apple – I was expecting something very big, very elitist, and very… exclusive, you know? I don’t think I was expecting a rather mundane celebrity wedding in the Hamptons, with Gwyneth wearing a pretty basic Valentino gown.
The Valentino gown was custom, and I’m shook – not really – that Stella McCartney wasn’t asked to do it. Maybe Gwyneth knows all too well that her friend Stella is a terrible designer, except that looking through the slideshow, I just saw that Stella was asked to do the reception minidress, so there you go. Stella couldn’t be trusted with the gown, but the reception dress was fine. That being said, I could have designed this snooze of a Valentino wedding gown in my sleep. This is yet another signal that Gwyneth is really hellbent on pandering to the peasantry – look, she’s just like us, her customized wedding gown looks like some cheap off-the-rack bullsh–t too. Also: Gwyneth apparently worked with makeup artist Gucci Westman to achieve this natural, just rolled out of bed look. Her stringy, unwashed-looking hair was styled by Orlando Pita. I need to buy him a drink for this.
You can see a full slideshow at the Goop link below – there’s a lot of wedding-scene p0rn, which I do genuinely enjoy. There seems to have been a blanket of roasted carrots and open-air roasted pineapples for the rehearsal dinner. There was prime rib and gin-based signature cocktails for the wedding reception. The wedding cake was a “compromise”: “Forty-five personalized carrot cakes (bride’s choice) and forty-five chocolate and vanilla cakes (groom’s choice).” SHE CHOSE CARROT CAKE FOR HER WEDDING OMG. At least Brad had some sense. There are tons of IDs for all of the wedding accoutrements too, which makes me think that Gwyneth’s gauche peasant wedding was sponsored, and she probably made money off it. Soooooo tacky.
Took me a minute to get it together, but at long last, for those who have requested, a little look inside the best day of our lives. #thefaltrows https://t.co/ejpBGbdHs0
— Gwyneth Paltrow (@GwynethPaltrow) November 2, 2018
Photos courtesy of Gwyneth’s Instagram.
I really like her dress. Simple and elegant.
+1
Me too! I love her dress! I would have worn this type of dress had I come across it during my dress search (and within my budget).
I like the dress. To me Kaiser seems over the top with her hate for the dress. This is Gwyneth’s second marriage and she’s in her 40’s. I didn’t expect something big and extravagant. I don’t think that’s her style anyway. And I love carrot cake. But it is unusual for a wedding cake.
Louise – and there were comments on another site about how tacky and princessy this verrryyy elaborate dress is for a woman in her forties who is getting married for a second time. Gwyneth drives me nuts for several reasons, but people are really projecting whatever into these judgments.
FWIW, I like the dress and carrot cake, but I do abhor this hair.
I’ve concluded that my taste and Kaiser’s are 100% opposite.
Yes, from what I see, I love it!
I love this dress!
I like it too!
I like the silhouette of the dress but not the material, at all. As I said below it looks cheap to me and I’m sure it wasn’t.
Me too! Im not a fan of ms. Goopy but her wedding looked amazing! Including her dress
Soooo, question of the day…how long will this marriage last? Will she chronicle her married life in Goop? If so…I’ll take a pass.
I had to Google this guy since I didn’t know the name, but I gotta give GOOP some props. She married the kinda guy I’m always saying other A-list women should consider, a rich, successful industry guy who knows that world but is *not* a movie star or lead singer. His career is not dependent on a youthful image, so maybe he can actually mature enough to be a real husband.
Now, I’m not saying GOOP herself won’t be too irritating to stay married to, but at least it seems her taste in partners has matured.
I think the wedding dress is lovely. From what I can see in the slideshow, the reception minidress has some kind of built in cape, looks bizarre and binding.
I just want to see more of her house…
I don’t think it’s her house, I’m pretty sure it was at the Seinfields’ estate
Rehearsal dinner the night before was at the Seinfeld’s. This is her house.
That house has been featured in at least one magazine. A Google search should do it.
Looks like she’s literally roaring at that guest. What an odd choice of photo!
It looks like she’s screaming at the top of he lungs. I’m surprised she released such an unflattering photo. Anyway, she looks pretty and they seem happy. Congrats to them.
I’m perplexed at the only photo included of her mom.
It’s captioned “Beautiful mother of the bride, Blythe Danner“ but it is a picture of the woman’s back (in the darkness)!
They couldn’t find a better picture?
So strange.
Good GOD, the mesh! The sheer mesh! Why would you want to look like an ice skater on your wedding day? This is so f**king basic.
The Stella playsuit and cape was far superior.
To my eye the dress looks really cheap.
The top of her dress was ultra mumsie and budget. Bottom half was ok. I’m totes suprised she didn’t have bell jars at her faux casual wedding.
I agree. This wedding was sponsored. Really rather crass for someone who believes she is above it all & deigns to let us take a peek @ her amazing existence
I love the cut of the dress, but not the pattern and mesh.
Rustic wedding or not, give your guests comfortable chairs FFS. Don’t make them sit on benches.
Sure, when I’m in a long dress, I sure would want to be clambering over a shared bench to sit down to dinner SMH. Soooo much pretentiousness in that wedding, but then….it’s Goop.
I’m pretty sure the wedding had single chairs, and the benches were for the rehearsal dinner.
The benches were definitely only at the rehearsal dinner and it looks gorgeous and it look like the put down some kind of (I’m sure faux) fur throws to make the benches softer.
Depending on the rehearsal dinner’s dress code, that may not have been as bad. And something tells me that they could have provided a chair or alternative for older or impaired guests. And lord knows why I care this much about it, but clicking through the rest of the pics, there were other sitting areas at the dinner with counches and lounge chairs so the benches really were only for the sit down portion of the dinner which the roasted salmon and veggies … I now want to do the normal person (non-fire-pit) version of all of that.
But may I say, the “wild” (slight eyeroll, is wild the new rustic?) centerpieces were beautiful and that pineapple pit was really cool.
Carrot cake is my favorite cake
I think she would choose a more sophisticated cake . It is a nice surprise
I love carrot cake, too. I used to ask for it as my birthday cake every year. Then I gave up the idea that it had to be cake at all and started asking for my true dessert love – pie. Mmm.
Carrot cake is the best. Nothing beats cream cheese frosting.
mine too! i had carrot cake at my wedding.
Me, too! One of the layers, anyway 🙂
12 hour. Roasted pineapple? I thought GP was pro environment?
Hair and makeup is really bad..it looks so every day and not in a good way
Roasted pineapples held on a string over a fire for 12 hours. Seems oh so pretentious! Reminds me of the cocktail Yoko Ono ask at Moe’s in the Simpsons 😛
I’ve been fascinated by Francis Mallman, since I learned of him in a series about chefs. His traditional way of cooking sounds amazing. It looked great when he and the group there, some were learning from him, were filmed in Patagonia. So it was outdoorsy and the scenery sublime. Perhaps it’s not fair, but now the Goop touch for her rehearsal dinner deflates all of that for me. But, good for him and his business. But, I don’t hate Gwyneth – I just don’t like all the pseudo advice and cost surrounding Goop. Congrats to the couple.
Strung around the fire with a lot of animal carcasses. Really odd & pretentious.
She looks like herself and happy and in love. I can’t hate on her for any of it. Besides, I personally love carrot cake.
+1, I’m surprised by how much I like everything about this wedding. They both look really happy.
I am always creeped out by his resemblance to Kim K’s best friend.
Also, their wedding theme is basically fancy Barbarian, jesus.
That’s why he looked familiar! Yes he really does!
The Man and I went to his boss’s wedding recently. Everyone – EVRYONE – there said “I can’t believe you guys left your house. Where are your kids?” because that’s how often we get out. But we went. And the Bride, The Man’s boss, was so touched that we not only left our house – and kids – but also danced, that she cried actual tears. It was lovely. And also made me question if maybe we should leave the house more often. (We should not).
But. BUT…
THERE WAS NO CAKE.
NO CAKE!
What in the whatting what? How can there be no cake? I honest to god wished Kaiser were there just so we could burn some sh*t to the ground.
I told The Man he would have to stop and buy me cake on the way home, but then we party animaled too hard and missed the 9pm supermarket deadline. By, like, 5 minutes.
I WAS SO MAD.
I didn’t have a cake at my wedding. It was an obscene waste of money and I hate the tradition of people shoving cake into each other’s faces, which my partners family really gets into to the point that they shame people for not doing it. Wanted to avoid all of that.
OMG for real?? I hate that cake smushing nonsense. It always seemed like grounds for an annulment to me.
I almost never eat cake normally, but I had psyched myself up for it. And it never came. *cry*
I am not married, btw. If I ever do, I shall have cake. And I’m going to make it myself, because that way I know I’ll like it.
My sister and her husband actually got cupcakes for the reception – that way people could take them home and keep them for a couple days without them going stale too fast. They only bought a small cake for the “cutting the cake” photo, a cheapie one from Walmart that was dressed up a bit with some nice icing.
I didn’t have a cake at my wedding either. For the budget we had it was either a photographer or a cake. My mum did say to one of the guests a few weeks after the wedding ‘how did you like the cake?’ and her reply was it was delicious! People don’t remember if you’ve had one or not.
We had a nice cake, not expensive, that I remember nothing about lol. We certainly didn’t smash cake in each other’s faces, we fed each other pieces with forks and plates and everything.
We had a “cheese” cake at our wedding, because I don’t like cake and I love cheese.
We did offer a crap ton of other dessert things because my mother, who upon learning about our cake said “that’s f—ing weird”, went into dessert overkill.
Do what you like on your wedding day I say!!
I mean you don’t have to spend a bunch of a cake. I was super lucky and a friend made mine but if not I would have just got a bakery style regular cake, it would have tasted great and nobody who mattered would have cared (ie ME).
Okay, get ready for your mind to be blown. I went to my sister-in-law’s wedding recently, and her planner called everyone over to witness the cutting of the cake. I’m all excited, because, duh, cake. So, they cut this tiny cake and it turns out, it was JUST FOR THE PHOTOS. No cake was served. She and the groom also had champagne and flutes for the toast, but none was passed or offered to the guests. Slightly less odd, but literally everything about this wedding was for the ‘gram. Truly, one of the weirdest weddings I’ve ever been to.
They didn’t have any cake at my friend’s wedding this past summer either. I’ll be honest, most wedding cakes to me taste the same. It’s that typical American bland cake, I dunno how to explain it with just really fancy frosting that gives the cake half the flavor. There isn’t a wedding cake that has ever stood out for me. I was fine with the no cake thing, but then they put out these little pastries at each table and I was dancing and missed most of the pastries served at my table because the other guests grabbed them. So I stole some from other people’s tables because it was clear nobody was eating them though I got shocked eyes from some guests. I didn’t really care though since it was clear nobody was bothering to eat them and they had been sitting out for quite awhile.
Her hair is distractng me.
Obviously, her choice, but I just think with that dress her hair should have been a little more “done.”
Carrot cake is delicious! With perfect cream cheese frosting? Come on!
I don’t like carrot cake and (in my opinion) its one of those things you either love or hate. But they had another choice which was very middle-of-the-road/crowd pleasing, so…carrot cake away! I think that the birthday person and bride and groom should be allowed to indulge their preferences for cake flavor.
I also like her dress, but agree that the hair is terrible. And the constant reference to her as “GP” sets my teeth on edge to the extreme. She’s the worst kind of high-maintenance woman, the kind who *thinks* she’s mellow and rolls with the punches. I’m sure she is insufferable and unbearable in person.
I side-eye her “best day of our lives” caption and her attempts both to erase the fact that she was married before (“my ex is like my brother!!”) and that this relationship started before both of their previous ones had ended. But whatevs, Gwynnie, BF (if she’s “GP” then he shall be “BF”) had to know what he was signing on for, and none of it affects me in any way, so many happy returns. Or something.
The setting, the flowers, the food looked amazing. Her dress was very ingenue-not at all what I was expecting to see. And her hair-oy. Well, it’s her signature look, that’s for sure. They look very happy and it was lovely to see them incorporate their four kids into the wedding.
Yeah, I can’t hate on the design of the wedding, either. She was clearly going for “rich person rustic,” and she nailed it. It’s quite charming, even if it’s clearly an expensive way of looking simple and woodsy.
Hey, don’t knock carrot cake! When made correctly it tastes like delicious spice cake. My rules of carrot cake: no nuts (this texture does not belong in cake!!!!), no raisins or other fruit, and NO CHUNKS or discernible pieces of carrot. The carrot must be so finely grated it cooks into the cake as just part of the batter.
Mmmmmm….now I want carrot cake. With cream cheese icing…
Me too! A good carrot cake is a thing of beauty,
They look happy.
I really don’t like criticizing someone. But I don’t understand how someone who is supposedly so healthy and has wellness for her trade has such terrible unhealthy hair.
I think she likes it kind of beachy looking and wavy. Unfortunately not all women have lush, thick hair. I think her hair is fine, but it’s definitely fine in texture and not at all thick. Beachy waves or just natural and “wild” doesn’t always work for that type of hair. I do see what she is going for, though. She wants her hair to look sort of undone. The result for women with hair that is more on the thin side, though, is that it just looks sort of straggly and limp. I don’t think her hair looks unhealthy…but she does need a cut/style that works for her hair as it is now. It was never thick, but as she entered her 40s it has become noticeably less so.
That happened to me too around 40 (I’m 41). My hair used to be wavy, thick, and wild–though hers wasn’t ever that. Anyway, just in a couple of years I’ve noticed a distinct change in my hair. It’s less wavy and has really lost volume and thickness. The things people don’t tell you about getting older… I even tried adding biotin and all sort of vitamins, but it turns out it is just part of getting older for a lot of women. Bummer. I loved my wild waves. But I, unlike Gwyneth, saw the writing on the wall and realized I had to switch up my hair style and routine. She’s kind of stuck in her 90s glory days, I guess. 😉
I honestly think that she sees her hair as one of her best assets. I don’t think she realizes how awful and unhealthy her hair looks. Same goes for her skin.
I doubt these were freebies (how gauche!) but the IDing of vendors is fairly standard for a lifestyle write up.
Even using quotes, I resent this being called her first “real” wedding. An elopement is also a real wedding. This was her first real wedding reception. You see? No quotes needed.
Also, I adore carrot cake.
I must be super cranky today because I find that off-putting as well. Every single one of my girlfriends, and myself, eloped. Wait ’til I tell them we haven’t had “real” weddings yet, especially the one that was 4 months pregnant. Just wait ’til I tell the hubby. I tease him that I would have gotten less time in prison for murder in this country than how long we’ve been married but now I can tease him that, all this time and it wasn’t even “real”. Damnit, I was framed, I want compensation.
**Edited to add: Carrot cake is horrifying, but to each his/her own. If you love it, fly at ‘er.
I do not care for the GOOP but have to say, I saw the pics and couldn’t hate on her wedding it seemed OK to me, I get the the sense that calling her dress “basic” is some kinna shade but it seemed simple and elegant to me . What do I know maybe I am a peasant ?
P.S Carrot cake is delicious
In fairness, for a second marriage in your forties, I feel like a basic dress is what most people would go for. You’d be past the drama of it all, eh? I’m not a fan of lacy dresses, but she looks fine. Could be better, could be worse. Wedding dresses are so subjective, as it is. Even the reception dress is fine by my standards.
I’m defending the carrot cake, though. Carrot cake with cream cheese icing is AMAZING. Y’all can keep your lame chocolate and vanilla cakes.
I love the dress. That being said, it is her second marriage. I know the days of virginal white are a distant memory, but personally I don’t like formal wedding gowns for the second, third, etc, marriages…..ala Kim Kardashian and oops Meghan Markle. I make carrot cake for friends with coffee, wouldn’t have at a wedding. Lastly, her new husband looks exactly like I expected him to look, under her thumb!! Very pretentious, very Goop. And they all lived happily ever after…….
I guess it’s just me on here. I really love the gown for the vibe wedding she was going for, and they look happy.
I love it too , Jayna.
The wedding is gorgeous and they both look insanely happy. This is the first time I’ve looked at wedding photos and wanted to see more, but I think that’s mainly due to the photography. She was a war correspondent and her credentials are absurdly impressive— I’m curious what she thought of the whole affair.
There are tons of IDs for all of the wedding accoutrements too, which makes me think that Gwyneth’s gauche peasant wedding was sponsored, and she probably made money off it. Sooooo tacky.
This!
Sponsorships for sure. One of her wedding pics is captioned
“A golf cart upgrade, care of mokeUSA“
I love the setup for both the rehearsal dinner and wedding reception. That’s how I would have done it if I’d had the time (and money and house and connections, etc)
I’m meh on the dress. I like it, it seems a bit bohemian/hippie with the lace and flesh colored mesh underneath. It would have been more elegant had underneath been white cream.
The photo of Blythe standing outside made me laugh. It looks like she’s been banished. I love Blythe.
Gwyneth’s elitism & puesdo scientific recommendations frustrate me. However, her wedding dress makes sense because she generally prefers minimalistic looks? I think it’s a part of why she shines in Calvin Klein dresses.
I think it’s a fairly mediocre intrepation of a boho minimalist vibe. Maybe the lace looks more intricate in person?
I was one of the first subscribers to Goop because I liked the recipes but whoa, it went downhill fast. I’m not shoving porous stones in my vagina 😂
I liked her dress. In my opinion it was elegant and classic with a little flair to make it a bit modern. For comparison sake, I liked it more than Duchess Meghan’s dress and Rose Elslie’s dress but less than Princess Eugenia’s dress.
As for how long the marriage will last, I think they’re both old enough to know themselves and know each other – and they’ve been together for what 5 years? I know they say three but I’m convinced there was overlap with his wife. That being said, I think they are in it for the long haul – if they don’t make it until one of them dies, I still wouldn’t be surprised if they lasted 20-25 years. Gwyneth let’s her pretentious flag fly full mast all the time these days – so he knows what he’s getting and same for her.
I think her dress is lovely and I’m a carrot cake lover who will choose carrot cake given any opportunity, so for once I have nothing to complain about.
And well, if there are people willing to sponsor your wedding then why not? I’m all for it. I wish someone would pay for mine.
Well, I may be in the minority but I love the dress. I don’t think it is basic at all. It is elegant and lovely.
that whole slideshow of where to buy her wedding is gross.
Nice and timeless dress. Her CBK dreams of a dress fulfilled. It’s beautiful and I wish I could find one that gorgeous off the rack and on budget! Ew. Just saw the mesh.
Also, my carrot cake is my best cake! All in all, she looks happy. The pseudoscience. Just, no. I do agree with the yoga move to strengthen the pelvic floor. That’s proven. I’ll give her that.
I loved the venue and the setup, the food looked delicious.
Now for the bride; didn’t like the dress (cause am not a fan of the lace) and hair was awful but I did like the pant suit and cap (quite fun evening outfit). However she looked really happy so props.
Hall of Fame post
I don’t like the little sleeves on her dress because I think they look childish. But I LOVE the back!
Ha! We had a carrot cake layer at our wedding 15 years ago, before it was popular! It was to honor my MIL, who is so wonderful. It is her favourite. We’re trendy! 😂 My dear husband will roll his eyes when I tell him.
Lol. Seriously, though – the carrot cake was the most popular layer. I don’t personally love it, but enough people do, apparently.
I think calling someone’s wedding dress “basic” is just rude. It was a beautiful Valentino dress, and Stella is a great designer as well. Saying she can’t be trusted to do a wedding dress is insulting. Geez! And of course she chose carrot cake, I rolled my eyes at that one. I am happy for both, congrats!
I love that she wanted carrot cake for a wedding cake.
Everyone in every picture from every party she’s ever thrown looks absolutely insufferable.
Wow! Must be nice to have Francis Mallman fly in from Patagonia to cook for your wedding reception. Bet that food was delish. Wasn’t she really tight with Mario Battali? Wouldn’t do to have him now lol!
I genuinely thought the girl’s dresses in the photos were their slip until I saw a photo of Apple (presumably) twirling outside in it. They really do look like they should be underneath something.
Otherwise whatevs, good for them and the rest of the wedding looks super nice.
I loved all the photos of her wedding, until I read the dinner menu… honey mustard DUCKLING?! Seriously, they served baby ducks for dinner?! So gross.
The dress is meh. I like the shape but I hate the flesh colored mesh and underlay. That always looks cheap to me. Would like it a lot more if just regular cap sleeves (no figure skater mesh) and white/cream underlay.
“Best day of our lives” is pretty dismissive towards her (their?) children and her first husband. I never get that phrase.
He’s hot.