It’s the last day of November, and people just realized that… the 2019 Oscars still don’t have a host. Not only that, but the Golden Globes don’t have a host either?!? The lack of host/s for the Globes doesn’t bother me as much as the Oscars though – the Globes can function pretty well without a host, or with a barely-there host who only shows up for a few minutes. But it’s crazy that tomorrow is December 1st and we still don’t have a host for the Academy Awards. Deadline pointed out that for three years – 1969-71 – the Oscars were hostless and they went just fine. But… people do expect some kind of host at this point. The problem is, I don’t trust the Academy to choose wisely, and they probably don’t trust themselves either, which is why no announcement has been made. Let’s look at some contenders:
Jimmy Kimmel. Kimmel has hosted before and he’s a bland, do-no-evil host. He’s basically everyone’s third choice, only to be asked if they can’t get their first two choices.
Oprah. While Oprah isn’t “funny” like a comedian, she knows how to run a show and keep things moving, and I think she would actually be an excellent host. Plus, everybody would get gifts under their seats.
Gritty. Hear me out – using Gritty as the host would be extremely watchable. He doesn’t speak, so his googly eyes would have to do all the talking. I would be into it.
Tina Fey/Amy Poehler. They hosted the Globes for several years in a row and they were badass. I definitely think they should be on the shortlist.
Whoopi Goldberg. Whoopi is funny, and she’s a woman. But I hope they don’t ask her.
Ellen DeGeneres. I mean… it will probably be Ellen, right?
Lin Manuel-Miranda. I mean, if it’s not Ellen, it will be Lin, right?
Kamala Harris. She’s running!!
Tiffany Haddish. I love Tiff and she can crack me up whenever she opens her mouth, but I feel like the Oscars are way too big for Tiffany… but Tiffany paired with someone else, I could totally see.
The Hot Duck. They would never allow the Hot Duck to host because Hollywood is full of jealous haters who don’t want to be outclassed and out-beautied by a Hot Duck.
Kumail Nanjiani. He’s funny and droll and it would be amazing to see a Pakistani-American man host!! (Maybe put him with Tiffany??)
Meryl Streep. I mean, she’ll be there anyway since she’s nominated every year.
Robert Downey Jr. In the olden days of the Oscars, RDJ would have been a shoo-in as host, honestly. He’s funny, he’s charismatic, he’s great without a script. But I doubt he would be asked.
I nominate @RobertDowneyJr https://t.co/ETpnBQdMkn
— Chris Evans (@ChrisEvans) November 30, 2018
When the wind blows from behind, even the MANDARIN DUCK can have a bad feather moment 📷 @janetme95324817 pic.twitter.com/HU7ZcQIoSa
— Manhattan Bird Alert (@BirdCentralPark) November 30, 2018
Gritizens,
As I prep to carve this bird, I look at my reflection in these knives & reflect on how thankful I am for you all. I could gobble on & on about how your love has burned at a temp of 375 these past months, but I want everyone to enjoy their day. See you for pie. ✌️ pic.twitter.com/bC6tVDG7p2
— Gritty (@GrittyNHL) November 22, 2018
Photos courtesy of Twitter, Getty.
Olivia the dog from “Widows”
Two hosts ,Go retro old and also go young today hip.
How about the lady who did the Wash.D.C. Press Corps roast. She’s cool, edgy and people may watch to see what she says.
Hannah Gadsby and Dave Chapelle
I vote Kumail!!! But I’m also in love with John Mulaney, and nominate him — he’d be fun for this.
John Mulaney and Nick Kroll as George St. Geegland and Gil Paisan.
Too much Tuna!
haha great idea, I’m in for this!!
KUMAIL AND TIFFANY!!
Didn’t Tiffany shriek and mispronounce everyone’s name at the nominating ceremony for this year’s Oscars? I guess some people find that amusing. But for the whole show?
Big Bird.
My 89 year old great aunt. She will have seen every movie in every category and will be able to do her “MOVE IT ALONG; I’M TOO OLD FOR THIS! shout directly at them instead of at the TV screen when things start to drag.
I nominate Triumph the Insult comic dog!
I don’t see why they need a host. It’s rare that the hosts opening is better than passable, and they just seem to annoy viewers and slow down the show whenever they appear after that. I’d bet most casual viewers wouldn’t even notice if they just opened with a musical number or skit then went right to the first presenters.
The last really *good* openings were by Billy Crystal. And that was a long time ago (sadly).
Crystal was pretty cringe even back then. I recently saw some clips of his old opening numbers and they do NOT hold up well.
Amy and Tina were great. They should keep hosting the globes bevause the atmosphere is a bit more loose and there is alcohol. I watched Walk of Shame a few nights ago with Elizabeth Banks. She is hilarious. I laughed my ass off and that does not happen often with Hollywood coms. So maybe mix her with someone more political and more on the wave, like Colbert.
Yes
Hannah Gadsby! She was the only funny person at the Emmys. (I know it won’t be here though.)
That would be marvelous.
Nick Kroll and Jenny Slate!
Hasan Minhaj!
I will definitely nominate Gritty. That mascot would not disappoint me and I wouldn’t be so focus on these ridiculous categories.
Wanda Sykes!
I love Wanda Sykes so I’m down with that choice.
I like the cut of your jib.
I can’t lie, Billy Crystal was one of my favs over the years. Sucks he has retired.
And before he started showing his backside, I would have been down for Hugh Jackman.
Yeah Jackman would have been a good choice but since I am utterly disappointed in him as a human being I dont want him to.
I always wished Graham Norton could host the Oscars… he’s the best talk show host by miles and he’s really witty.
OMG yessssssss!Love Him.
Oh yes.
Oh yes.
Oh YES. He’d be incredible. I watch the Eurovision final every year PURELY for his commentary. He’s absolutely hilarious, and really good with people and managing his way around various stars and their egos. He’s not afraid to laugh about pretty much anything, but he usually always manages to make it so he’s laughing WITH someone rather than AT them. He’d be perfect!
Graham Norton!!
I vote for gritty
I Hope it’s both Ellen & Whoopi.Sure Ellen May “over do it” sometimes but in 2014 she was an excellent host & when she’s not talking politics etc,Whoopi Goldberg is a pretty funny Comedian.
I think Ellen has a cruel streak that leaks out now in her humor and Whoopi has become a bore, unfortunately. I vote no on those two.
Agreed. Ten years ago they were a good choice but Ellen IS cruel and Whoopi who I used to adore has shown her backside too many times in recent years.
I dunno if the Oscars really needs a host. The position seems cursed and the host is always super criticized afterwards. Nobody really wants the job. I will say the one standout host moment from the past few years was when they accidentally announced Lala Land as the winner instead of Moonlight. Jimmy Kimmel was kind of all of us in that moment and like a deer caught in headlights. When was the last time an Oscar host was universally beloved? I can’t even remember.
From the short list here though, the only person I’d really want to see is Lin Manuel Miranda. I’ve watched enough of his interviews and follow him on social media and pretty much anything he does makes you love him. He just always seems so joyful to be alive which is so needed in this Trumpian world.
I really liked chris rock.
They should go hostless imo. Off the top of my head, I can’t name a single person who hosted the Oscars in recent memory and did a legitimately good job. Everyone ranges from “eh, (s)he didn’t fuck it up” to the MESS that were James Franco and Anne Hathaway.
James Cordon, just bc he’s so lovable, fun and light. I think he would do a good job of easing tensions.
That was who I came to say I thought should do it. He’s so easy going and he has a way with the celebs too, like Ellen does.
Second choice is Oprah.
James Corden is annoying AF.
Gritty 10000000000000000%.
I’m throwing Kristen Wiig and Will Ferrell into the mix! But with returnees, I’d like to see Ricky Gervais roast Hollywood again (preferably roasting Sean Penn, Alec Baldwin, Woody Allen, and other awful people.)
All I can say is that orange puppet has made me jump twice now.
I always enjoy Gervais at the GG – and I’m already excited about the $hit he’d say about Cadet BoneSpurs. Then for the Oscars, Tina & Amy!
I like the suggestion of Kumail….paired with the guy he has such chemistry with on Silicon Valley. The dry humored white dude who also played on Party Down.
I like Tiffany Haddish with Taraji Hensen or Tiffany with Kevin Hart. Or Tiffany with Amy Schumer or Mindy Kaling.
I really enjoy when Chris Rock hosts, personally.
I’d really like Kate McKinnon to host, actually. She’s amazing. If not her, Kumail Nanjiani or John Mulaney. Basically, people who are good on SNL will work, lol.
According to Kris Tapley from Variety, the reason they don’t have a Globes host yet is because they can’t GET anyone to host the Globes. They’ve reached out to a lot of people- none of them want to do it this year!
Michelle Wolf.
Excellent!!!!
Idris Elba!
Idris Elba!