Michelle Obama isn’t here for the message of Lean In. [Jezebel]
Beyonce delivered another fantastic live performance for the Global Citizen festival in South Africa this weekend. [LaineyGossip]
Lady Gaga wore an Alaia to honor Bradley Cooper.[Go Fug Yourself]
Donald Trump apparently said “get me out of here” in Buenos Aires. [Towleroad]
Mariah Carey doesn’t make her kids wear their seatbelts. [Dlisted]
Dick Van Dyke owned Piers Morgan on Twitter. [Pajiba]
Sofia Richie is beefing with Kourtney Kardashian. Huh. [The Blemish]
Recap of 90 Day Fiance. [Reality Tea]
NeNe Leakes looks like a cartoon in this photo. [Starcasm]
There is a video clip going around twitter where you can definitely hear
Trump say “get me out of here” at least twice plus some other grumbling. I listened to it the other day with my bf and we laugh-cried. He’s such a disgrace.
Just one more reason to love Michelle Obama. There are so many BS books out there about having it all, including Grifter Ivanka’s hideous book entirely plagiarising quotes from accomplished women. Sandberg’s book just grates, it’s so full of platitudes for today’s woman. It hasn’t aged well.
Especially since it’s recently come out that she’s probably just another corporate monster who couldn’t care less about elevating others.
Yeah, these types of cr@p books are just a form of “blame the victim”: If you’re not advancing in your career, it’s not the fault of systemic discrimination, it’s your own fault for not behaving correctly.
I really hated the Lean In book when it came out in part because I was struggling with a husband who wasn’t helping at all, so I couldn’t lean in to my career because I was having to do everything at home too. Sheryl at least came out after her husband died and admitted that a supportive spouse was important, but I haven’t seen where’s she recognized that it’s a privileged position a lot of women aren’t afforded for a variety of reasons to even have the option of leaning in at work. And, of course, as we’ve seen recently – no one should be taking any advice from her.
Perfect response by Dick Van Dyke! Love it!
OMG his response was perfection
Yes!
Dude’s a national treasure.
I’ve loved him since I was a kid.
Dick Van Dyke is the best.
OK Dick Van Dyke, I now love you and completely forgive you for Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. (It’s not your fault they completely screwed around with Ian Fleming’s beautiful little story).
Grace and Style.
I’m with Michelle. I am from Silicon Valley and sometimes “leaning in” means WALKING OUT of a company that doesn’t know your worth so it doesn’t RUIN the good things in your life like family, friends kids…
Lean in? Um, great for white privileged women…
I have “leaned in”, out performed and out worked my male counterparts and STILL got passed up for promotions that I DESERVED and made clear I WANTED. I was passed up for a promotion for a lesser performing , lazy colleague that was part of the “boys” club. It was a glaring example of sexism that offended so many people at my organization at the time. My ordeal was later referenced in a lawsuit against this subsidiary of the second largest company in the world (you can connect the dots) alleging systematic discrimination against top performing females. I have seen women “lean in” and then they got called insubordinate – cute.
Michelle is scrappy and knows that sometimes leaning in isn’t ENOUGH in this sexist patriarchal world. What you need to do is be STRATEGIC – dont kill yourself over a job that would replace you in a heartbeat. Find what aligns with your values and goals.
And what if your life passion is to be a stay at home mom, not a mid level executive? no shade there
It’s not necessarily great for privileged white women either, especially when it comes to balancing work and home/children related responsibilities. I think Michelle was addressing that based on context- balancing home life. It’s hard and the pure lean-in philosophy just puts more responsibility on women. Like if you just tried harder… In reality, it takes much more than your own effort. And what if you don’t want to try that hard at everything? It’s a recipe for exhaustion. Michelle’s reliance on that classic piece of advice is more realistic- you can have it all, just not at the same time.
I do think there were good pieces of advice in the book though- like how women shouldn’t take themselves out of the running for things based on pregnancy or assumptions about what they can and can’t do. I do think women tend to underrate their abilities in so many areas. So for me, it’s a book with some good advice and things to consider that should be taken with a healthy dose of cynicism.
I completely agree with your last paragraph. I hope you are in a better place now, where your value is properly appreciate.
Thank you. I was amazed at everyone falling over Sandberg and Lean In. I can’t see it as anything other than victim blaming. Why did woman celebrate this as liberating?
Right. I used to be more ambitious and hard working when I was younger. Then I grew up.
Gotta agree with you here.
Our ambitions are different. We work hard at different things – Whether it’s family or just plain old self care and self respect,
That whole “leaning in” thing also only worked for Sandberg because her husband was able to scale back his work commitments and be there for their kids. I really wonder since he passed away what she’s done differently for her family. (Based on all the crap I’m reading about FB-not much.)
Yeah “leaning in” is great when you want to kill yourself for 12 hours a day at corporate job that doesn’t appreciate you and then go home and work a second shift with your kids at home…
Sheryl Sandberg is incredibly privileged and “having it all” is a luxury for the rich that have the money and help to “do it all”…
The whole message of “just work harder” is BS. We all bust our butts in Silicon Valley, and I shouldn’t have to work three times as hard as my male counterparts to MAYBE get ahead…And when you do work that hard and have nothing to show for it but stress and a pathetic personal life…why in the world would Sheryl think “leaning in” even more is the answer for women..as if we haven’t been already doing that for the past century…
Not to completely dismiss the impact of losing a partner, BUT…by the time her husband died, Sandberg was filthy rich and in a position of tremendous power. She can afford to outsource a huge amount of family stuff if she wants to, and she can probably also craft an unorthodox work schedule for herself if she needs to some days (e.g. working late at night from home so she can be at a kids doctor’s appointment in the afternoon), which isn’t as easy or available a choice for someone starting out in their career.
As others have pointed out, It’s really not great for privileged white women either, more like gaslighting. I like to say, the concept of leaning in throws you off balance and makes it too easy to become a pushover… It’s actually infuriating in its underlying victim blaming… (this isn’t posting where I meant it to, but hopefully still adds to the conversation…)
Standing ovation for Mela’s comment. Agreee 1000%. (Reply isn’t showing up in the right spot.)
I’m gonna steal this line from The League: “Lean in” is the white collar version of “git ‘r done”
Kudos to MO! Lean in, my arse! I leaned in for five years and got screwed right away. Learned so many lessons. Wish i could turn back time. But I thank the Lord it was only 5 years and not more. Lessons learned, alot of them. Going to make memories now. And give “the man” the finger.
I remember when “Lean In” was first really big and I knew all these women who were raving about it and I honestly didn’t see why it was THAT big a deal or why anything in it was new or groundbreaking. I had serious arguments with some of my professional female friends about whether it was really a good book/good advice or if people were just going nuts for it because of who the author was. So glad some of the bloom is coming off Sandberg’s rose.
Lean in just always sounded to me “yeah let’s just do what we’ve always done and not rock the boat.” I didn’t quite understand why people thought this is a good/new idea.
I read the book and participated in some modified “lean in circles” and even led a few discussions. I agreed with a lot of her advice (mainly – don’t take yourself out of the running before you have to), but I found her tone incredibly grating. From what I recall, there was a lot of “gee whiz, who me?” that I found insulting.
Sheryl Sandberg needs to be prosecuted for working with Cambridge Analytica and the Russian government to corrupt our elections. She ordered a probe of George Soros, for goodness sakes! Also, what did her husband (as the head of Survey Monkey at the time) know about the shady stuff going on? His death seems suspicious to me–now that we know so much about the allegedly illegal activities of Facebook.