US Magazine put Hayden Panettiere on the cover this week. We’ve heard that Hayden is having some problems in her new relationship with Brian Hickerson. In the fall cops were called to Brian’s dad’s home in South Carolina after some kind of incident. Brian was drunk and chasing his dad around the house, Hayden was there and panicked, and Brian’s face was bruised and bloody. It’s unclear what happened although it’s not a stretch to say that Hayden is not in a healthy situation.
Hayden has a four year-old daughter, Kaya, with her ex, boxing great Vladimir Klitschko. Kaya lives with Vladimir and his mom in Ukraine where he’s from. Us is reporting that Hayden doesn’t spend much time with Kaya. I’m assuming that she collaborated with them on this story, as Us usually doesn’t put celebrities on the cover unless they work with them. Hayden was open about the postpartum depression she suffered after Kaya was born and the fact that she sought treatment for it.
This last year hasn’t been the easiest for Hayden Panettiere. Since splitting with fiancé Wladimir Klitschko in August 2018, the Nashville alum “hasn’t had much time” with her daughter, Kaya, a source reveals in the new issue of Us Weekly.
“She knows the child being with her is not best for [Kaya right now],” the insider says. “It’s a sad situation.”
The 4-year-old has been living with the heavyweight champion boxer, 42, in his native Ukraine. He’s currently raising her with the help of his mother.
After Klitschko and Panettiere ended their nine-year romance, the Heroes alum, 29, quickly moved on with Brian Hickerson. And those close to the actress haven’t been happy with her new romance. “It’s not a healthy situation,” a source previously told Us.
Putting the Kids First! These Former Celebrity Couples Are Crushing Coparenting Opens a New Window.
But according to Hickerson, “Just to be clear, Hayden’s friends and family are not worried about her at all,” he said in a statement to Access.
I don’t know what Hayden’s situation is here, but it sounds like she wants Kaya to stay with her dad. Maybe she’s not comfortable being a full time mother at this point in her life. We just don’t know what’s going with her and it’s possible this is a choice she made so that Kaya could be in a better situation. It sounds like a selfless and difficult decision.
Hayden with her mom and brother earlier this week.
Hayden out with Brian last week.
Photos credit: WENN and Backgrid
Best decision is for Kaya to be with Vlad and far away from Hayden. Pics or her stumbling around drunk and puking outside bars, cop incidents with her boyfriend..clearly her priorities are not with her daughter so she belongs with her father. Even when Kaya was younger you saw Hayden didn’t want to be bothered in any pics of them together. Which was rare in itself also. Don’t feel sad for Kaya she’s better off without her.
Is it weird that this exactly mirrors her plotline on Nashville?
I was thinking the same thing.
No. The best thing for Kaya is for her mother to get her sh*t together and be a parent to her child. It’s disgusting when parents choose to let go of their kid’s for selfish reasons. I had severed ppd and psychosis after giving birth, but because I didn’t have enablers giving me a way out of motherhood, I crawled through it and became a better mother for it. If this was a man who ditched his kid bc he wanted to run around with a new girlfriend and act a fool, we would be all over him yelling and pointing fingers. Get your act together, Hayden, and think of your daughter!!!
Best post. Mature.
Boom. Reality. Thank you!
Well done to you. I really mean that. Good on you. However, because you were able to come out the other side healthy and happy does not mean that everyone can. This is especially true of women that suffer through post partum psychosis, many of those women will never be healthy again. Some will, like you, but many don’t. Simply saying “I did it, so you should too” is unfair. I am not saying that Hayden has PPP, I don’t know her. But the generalising in your post sounded a little high handed.
First off, good for you and congratulations on fighting and come out the other end. Second, you took the words outta my mouth. In what universe can HP’s actions be considered “selfless”? If this was a male celeb who didn’t feel like being a full-time parent, regardless of emotional / mental issues, we’d be calling for his head. I used to like Hayden. No more. She needs to grow the f*ck up.
Many children live primarily with one parent and the other just visits occasionally, especially when they are very young. When a man is the visiting parent, no one blinks an eye.
If the visiting parent is unstable in any way, minimal contact can be a good thing. If her mother manages to deal with her demons, maybe a relationship with her daughter will emerge. If not — the child is with her father and grandmother. That’s one more parent than many people have. Video calls can keep her mother in touch if desired. She will be fine.
Shuttling kids between parents at that age can be rather problematic, especially when long distances are involved.
I’m sorry peeps, but a “difficult and selfless decision” would be for her to humble herself and get sober. This coming from a 25y sober person – single mom. Having a kid means putting your ego aside. She needs to go live in the Ukraine, get consistent visitation and get herself together- that child will feel abandoned unless mom steps up. Ugh.
“I’m assuming she collaborated with them on this story…”. I highly doubt it. They describe “wild behaviour” and “spiral” right on the cover and if she participated her team would have kiboshed that. It sounds to me more like family members are using the press to reach her (hence the inclusion of how worried they are). Its a sad situation.
Yeah I agree. This is not a flattering story. However they collaborated with someone…Who? That’s the question. Yes it almost feels like someone is trying to send her a message. I’m glad the child seems well cared for because I suspect the trouble is just starting here.
And the quote about her well being coming from the boyfriend (the “aspiring” actor?). *Shudder.*
Right. And just in the excerpt it’s all coming from “an inside source.” People is the only magazine I consider reliable.
This story is very disturbing. If being with her dad is the best thing for their child, then it’s good she’s there. I don’t see how this is making Hayden look good at all, though. It sounds like she is in a bad situation and needs help.
Or she wants to pursue a romance and career and not be tied down by a child? Sounds like she’s trying to get a more sympathetic version out first.
And the last of the quoted paragraph is weird. The whole thing is weird.
So she might want to do what men do all the time? And she has a child father who is happy to be a full-on dad and has a loving family that supports him? And both she and him seem mature enough to make sure that she still has a relationship with her daughter?
Doesn’t sound bad for the child at all.
“Doesn’t sound bad for the child at all. ”
Except for the fact that the child (who is 4) lives in a different country on the other side of the world. It’s kinda hard to believe she maintains a close relationship with her mother – however amicable the arrangement is.
The child is with part of its family. Father and grandparents, etc. Not abbandoned somewhere foreign.
It’s the live of many children that have families in different places of the world or even parents from different continents. It is impossible to keep a close physical relationship with everyone, but hopefully they are in touch (which isn’t too difficult with modern media).
This child will always miss part of its family. In this case it is best though that she is with the father who can take care of it and not with her mother, who for various reasons decided and knows that she can’t in the same way.
It’s not great when fathers do it either.
Ideally, children have BOTH parents in their lives to help raise them, regardless of how their respective relationships are arranged.
And while I know life doesn’t always work out the way we want it to, if this story is accurate, it seems like she doesn’t want to make an effort to be part of the kid’s life. She has the money, time and resources to be available for this child and she is choosing not to. Unless there is more to the story that I don’t know, which is entirely possible.
IIRC she was public about battling postpartum depression…I wonder if there is a correlation there?
Doing what men do all the time is a pretty low standard to go by. I think it’s great that she is letting him raise the kiddo. But any person who decides post kid they don’t want to be tied down or want to focus on work is being an ahole. Like the genies out of the bottle at that point and you need to adapt and change to support the kid you brought into the world. This is for both sexes too, i have said the same thing about Ben Affleck for being a sloppy, publicly shitty dad whose kids no doubt are exposed to his gross behavior because of the internet.
Where’s the part that says she has a relationship with the daughter? It says she doesn’t see her very much.
I agree that the child is best with her dad, but I still feel sorry for her if the mom rarely sees her. Ask anyone whose mom voluntarily gave them up if it didn’t leave a lasting scar, especially in our mommy-worship culture (not sure if Ukraine is like that). I hope Hayden can work on her demons, and that someday she’s able to be a positive influence in her daughter’s life, and find more happiness in her own.
I agree with Kitten – she has more means than half of us combined to be able to have her child in her life with a nanny and spend time with her whenever she wants to. Clearly, she doesn’t want to be bothered. It doesn’t matter if the child is with one parent – she’s away from her mother and at 4 years old I’m sure she’s hurting. My daughter is 5 and misses me while she’s at school.
the child has no mother. I find that very bad for the little girl. when you have a kid you can’t just be like…’vlad, are you okay with me leaving and you taking care of the kiddo?’ ‘yes, I’m okay with it’. it’s not about their arrangement, but about child’s needs.
And? Whatabout blah isn’t an argument. Just because men do it doesn’t make it right either.
I’ve read posters throwing word rocks at celebs who abandon their pets- but this human mother made a “selfless and difficult decision” to Relinquish her own child? What??
I thought CB did a story a year or so ago about Hayden and Vladimir breaking up and he was raising her in Ukraine,but don’t recall the source,it was discussed that Hayden may have been struggling with mental health issues even then.I know she was very open about her PPD,and I would conclude that her allowing the father to have the child solely,with her just visiting the child must be something that is related to her mental health,and perhaps she has never fully recovered from the PPD,or maybe through treatment she has found that she has other mental health issues (no judgement here),but I wander if her PPD was so severe that she just never bonded with her child?
The comments on here with regards to the other article ranged from sympathetic,to shaming/blaming her for not being a bigger part of her child’s life.So, I am saying that I think her current situation is still related to her history of PPD.
On a side note I think she has done the right thing for her daughter,regardless of her mental health,or if she just doesn’t want to raise her child ,like @Kitten and others state*its not great when fathers do it either.*
My mother left when I was an infant and I was raised by my father and his parents,it wasn’t easy ,back then mothers simply didn’t leave and I was treated cruelly for it by some in my family and kids and teachers (small town,every body knew everything about everyone,😤)
People loved talking about my *terrible *mother who abandoned me to go to California.The truth was she was a young mother who didn’t know how to parent and saw that my grandparents could give me more than she could.I just turned 43 and people still ask me about her today.I have only had contact with her a few times over the years and can say she is mentally ill or troubled in some way,she even has shown personality traits that I can observe to be near the spectrum of autism (?aspergers syndrome?)
Just basically saying this can’t be an easy situation,and hope Hayden gets help for whatever she is going through,and if the little girl is in a loving,secure situation with her father then that sounds like the best solution. She just needs to be told that her mom is a good person,but that right now her dad loves her and is going to take care of her no matter what,and that sounds like what he’s doing.
I remember the article from last year. She said they have long family vacations, then she rolled out the new boyfriend a short time later. I agree it is much better for Kaya.
I hope Hayden gets whatever treatment she needs for her health and life. Also for she and child to one day truly have a deeper bond.
Yep,long family vacations,I remember that now
I was wondering how long they would give this new mess before people around her pretended to care. She reminds so much of Lana Turner and the studio using her life stories. Ew. Her life has ALWAYS made me sad.
Totally agree that the child is in the best place possible if Hayden has such mental illness issues that she thinks it’s best for her daughter.
I chose to not have children due to my manic and depressive cycles because I wouldn’t be able to care for a child during those times, and if I were with anyone, he wouldn’t have been able to be awake and around 24/7 to make sure that I was.
BUT – even if I had the money that Hayden has, a nanny wouldn’t have been able to keep me from possibly saying something in a rage or make my child understand that yes, I did love him or her even though I couldn’t get out of bed and kept saying that I wanted to be left alone. So I totally agree with what they’ve done.
Yup. She’s abdicating her responsibility to her daughter. What a jerk.
And just because “men do it all the time” doesn’t make that okay. AT ALL. Being abandoned by your mother is a terrible thing, and I feel so bad for that little girl. Yes, kids need their fathers, but they NEED their mothers. Double standard? Fine, but it doesn’t make it untrue. Grandma is not a substitute. Hayden needs to smarten the f*ck up!!
That’s a hard decision to make – but at the end of the day, she’s putting her daughter first. She’s put her in a home that’s stable and loving – which at the end of the day is just so important. Obviously Hayden’s had a lot of trouble, and she’s been so open about it – and I think that’s great. By the sounds it wouldn’t be a great situation to add a child to the mix with her current relationship – it’s great that Wladimir stepped up, and I’m sure his mom is so happy to have her granddaughter around.
You know, I normally side eye celebs who have minimal relationships with their children (Tom Cruise, I mean you, twat) but in this case it sounds like she is doing what is best for her kid – despite how the media and mommy shamers can (and probably will) spin this.
I do the same, Clare. But this one just seems a lot more different. I’m sure she’ll get a lot of flack for this, but I think it’s really healthy of her to have done it. And it’s not like it’s permanent. But for right now, it’s what’s probably best. We also have some pretty amazing technology available to us now that makes staying in contact a lot easier.
A propos Tom Cruise — he has a strong relationship with his (adopted) children. ATM he lives in Clearwater, FL with his son and his disabled mother. Btw Tom’s mother remained a Catholic. Maybe it’s Suri who doesn’t want to meet up with the father?
Kasia – Tom Cruise’s mother was a Scientologist and she died some years ago. Don’t know where you are getting your information. Tom abandoned Suri soon after the divorce. A 5 year old doesn’t decide whether she wants to see her father or not. Do yourself a favour and look up Scientology’s disconnection policies.
@Kasia – he has a strong relationship with his Scientology children, he hasn’t seen Suri in years. He turned a little girl into an SP (Suppressive Person in CoS lingo). One of the reasons he did it may be that she’s not his bio child. Nicole Kidman had 2 miscarriages with Tom and there’s been some suggestion that he may suffer from a genetic condition that, among other problems, can trigger spontaneous miscarriage in any partner he impregnates. Suri is a dead ringer for Tommy Davis, CoS’s notorious and now “disappeared” PR spokesman. There’s been unsubstantiated talk that Suri may have been a “turkey baster” pregnancy with Tommy Davis’s sperm secretly switched with Tom’s. If this is ever verified, no wonder he cut ties with her when Katie Holmes divorced his evil little ass.
yeah, sometimes the best decision a parent can make is to not be a part of their kids life. some people are just really self-destructive and can’t put their kids interests above their own. The fact that she was apparently able to recognize this is good, although I’m sure it will be hard for her daughter to understand.
I’d imagine it would be hard for the little girl, but I can only imagine her dad and grandmother are doing what they can to soften the blow. It’s a hard situation all around.
Well, no, she’s not putting her daughter first. If she was, that would involve cleaning up and choosing her child over drinking and her boyfriend. So right now, it looks like her daughter is coming third or fourth after drinking, boyfriend, and career.
Her daughter will grow up and see these pictures and wonder why this was more important than spending more time with her.
Agree. Even if she’s not the custodial parent, doesn’t she want to be the best non-custodial parent she can be?
I agree with you, millennial. She should clean up her act for the sake of her daughter.
I agree that she should be the best parent she can be,but if she is dealing with mental health issues she should address that first if that’s what’s going on,and if she is using alcohol,partying too much she needs to stop,but if it’s a combination of mental illness/alcohol,then she may be (wrongly)using alcohol to buffer the pain she is in from mental illness,so treatment for alcohol is needed plus treating any underlying condition.I don’t mean to reach here,but her past PPD,and the fact that she’s acting out,to me,scream of mental illness.
I do strongly agree though that she should do anything she can to be a good mother even if she’s not the custodial parent.It seems she needs help getting to that conclusion and hope she reaches it before she does something that could completely impair her health and her relationship with her child.
I’m not going to overly praise her. Yes, it’s good if her daughter is with the more stable parent.
If I was a mess, and my kids were with their Dad becuase I wasn’t stable, I would STILL MOVE TO THE SAME COUNTRY so I could at least visit them while supervisored or whatever it took. And I’m not rich like her! It would be way easier for her to move to a new country than me.
So yeah, while this is likely best for the child, I’m not giving her a gold star as some sort of selfless saint. She very much appears selfish in this situation.
Totally agree with you. This is super selfish of her, definitely not selfless.
She has a long history of depression and had to go to treatment twice. I think “cleaning up” is not the issue here. She isn’t “clean” because of her mental/emotional issues.
Guys, ‘the Ukraine’ is kind of an offensive term. It is just Ukraine. It’s a small, but important distinction.
True. Reminded me of the time Obama was questioned about foreign policy and referred to it as the Ukraine and was subsequently corrected on it. Could you imagine 45 being asked and answering a thought out question about Ukraine? The good old days.
He’d just scoff, wipe his flop sweat and flap his little hands around dismissively. The usual.
Trump probably thinks Ukraine is a bird.
I’ve been saying different countries in my head to see how it sounds, and yes you wouldn’t say “the Russia,” or “the Canada.” At the same time, I would never say “in United States,” but “in the United States.” Honestly, I think it might be more of the strong U sound at the beginning.
Ok I will fix that and am sorry!
It’s because Ukraine is an autonomous nation and not a part of Russia /former Soviet Union, not because of how it sounds. Given Russian interests in reversing Ukraine’s independence (something Paul Manafort worked on) it’s a geopolitical issue.
Yes, it’s because while the region was part of Russia it was referred to as ‘the Ukraine’ – whereas as an independent nation it is no longer a part of Russia. God – that is an incredibly inarticulate explanation, but I hope that makes sense? My understanding is that Ukrainians are particularly sensitive (understandably) about this distinction, especially given the last couple of years. When Obama was called out on his slip, there were several articles which explained this much better than I have.
@Clare: That makes so much sense! I’ve always vaguely wondered why I think of “the Ukraine” vs. “Ukraine” but realizing the difference between a terrority name and country name makes it very clear.
Okay, this makes sense. Thanks to you and Clare for pointing this out.
Gal why?! That’s how we speak english
Dorothy, because other people’s feelings and preferences matter. Just because that’s how ‘we’ speak or how ‘we’ prefer to say something doesn’t mean ‘we’ have the right to trample the sensibilities of others. It’s not that hard to be respectful and adjust accordingly.
And it’s more than a sensibility or a sensitivity, Ukraine is a sovereign nation’s actual name. It is no longer “the Ukraine region.” It is the nation of Ukraine. And it has nothing do do with how “we” speak English. It has to do with how the people of Ukraine determine their own country’s name. It has nothing to do with the English language. Please see above.
Seriously? We get our knickers in a knot over “the”. Call it The Canada … I’m fine.
“The Ukraine” refers to a portion of land. Ukraine refers to a country. Y’all might want to read up about issues between Russia and Ukraine.
Clare- Never knew that and now I do. Ukraine it is. Thanks for the info.
Thank you for speaking up – I am happy to have learned a new thing today!
Interesting – I did not understand that until just now. And it makes so much sense. Thank you!
Thank you for sharing this! I did not know this and will now be careful to not say a “the” before Ukraine.
wow, I’ve never thought about that before. Apologies. I will call it Ukraine moving forward. Thanks for educating!
It does sound like this is best for the daughter, but how sad for Hayden. She seems to have been struggling a lot in recent years, I hope she’s able to work through it and get better.
Kaya I hope is surrounded by love.
Doesnt look like her mom can be there for her at this point.
Probably the best decision for their daughter.
If the rumors that I’ve heard about Hayden’s childhood are even half truth, then I can see why she can’t or doesn’t want to be a mom. I’m not going to pass any judgement here.
I agree. It sounds like Hayden had a tragic childhood.
It’s best to rely on the individual women themselves for those kinds of stories rather than other sleazy, unethical, and often dishonest sources with a traditional MRA douchebro-friendly slant. It’s so easy for them to take a grain of truth (for example, the known domestic violence in her family, her known mental health issues) and spin it into something seedier and misogynist-pleasing.
Remember Himmm posts from CDAN? If there is even a sliver of truth to those than she is a messed up individual.
Yeah, keeping a child out of the sicko bubble that is Hollywood is not a bad thing. She’s a former child star, after all, she’d likely have seen the worst of it.
I mean….how would her daughter be exposed to the “HW sicko bubble”, unless she herself brings her right into it? HW is a sick, sick place, but, correct me if I’m wrong, to live in L.A. doesn’t mean you’re defending your kid from pedophiles kidnapping him/her in the streets every second. It means pushing her into acting world, on sets, in vicinity of predators. And Pantiere has enough means to never bring her around that.
Or, if we take this kind of explanation as true-what’s keeping Pantierre from relocating? Her hot HW career?
Otr even regularly visiting her child? Ukraine is not on Mars and Pantierre is not a mom slaying for minimal paycheck every week. If she wanted, she could have had a stable relationship with her child.
Wishing her the best! It can’t be easy being going through problems in the public eye and being judged. Hope she’ll be ok.
” It sounds like a selfless and difficult decision” I have never read that about a man that walks away from parental responsibilities, eg: Tom Cruise walking away from Suri.
It is one thing to place a child in a safe, loving home and take time out to get help for whatever issues you have, but she just seems to be partying and not getting any help.
Zapp, I’m with you on this. And I remember when she was with her husband, and hearing that he was physically abusive to her. I hope her daughter is okay.
I have a problem with this. Her husband is tall and pro boxer. And a fighter for democracy and all around good guy by all accounts ever. There was never even an allusion to abuse from his side, except his sheer size. On the other hand, she seemed most stable and out of substance abuse drama when she was with him. As soon as they broke up, her problematic pattern just continued.
So, why is he automatically being blamed? If it turns out that he was abusive, burn him at stake I say. But without even a shred of evidence, any kind of word, to push blame on him, when by all accounts he’s incredibly accommodating, considering her situation, and he’s the one who took the full responsibility for the child….
I mean, if we were talking about a male celebrity, would your first thought be “Oh, it must be that his wife was abusive, that’s the root of the problem”?
I agree with you Zapp Brannigan, she is the same as men who do not exercise their parental responsibilities, nothing about this says ‘selfless and difficult’.
Tom Cruise is criticised, because he allegedly cut off all ties with his daughter. Nobody criticised him when he initially gave up custody after the divorce. If anything most people were relieved that his young daughter wouldn’t be raised in his cult?
In this case it’s unclear whether Hayden has no relationship with or daughter or if she is simply not the custodial parent.
It might be tricky to have a close relationship with a child who lives in Ukraine. We gotta stop giving women passes, when if it was a man, we wouldn’t be so forgiving. Ultimately, isn’t that what we are striving for – to not be looked at and treated differently simply because of our gender? In any case, a child suffers when either parent is not wanting to be involved in their life, no matter what the reason.
PhillyGal: completely agree. Thank you. If we want equality, we should practice it even when it’s uncomfortable.
I understand what you’re trying to say, but Tom Cruise is not the example you want to use. He’s not in Suri’s life because her mother took them away from Scientology, not because he believes he’d be an unfit father. He’s still pretty close to his other kids.
Alright then would anyone say that about Charlie Sheen?
” It sounds like a selfless and difficult decision” when his two sons went to live with Denise Richards did anyone anywhere have sympathies for how tough parenting was for him, after all he is another one falling around the place on substances with a messy life with lots of warning flags popping up.
All I am pointing out is that a double standard exists when women walk away compared to men. The men are labelled feckless and the women are excused, and we have seen this on this thread with commenters posting oh so casually that well some are just not meant to be parents, fa la la, or accusing the ex-husband of domestic violence. At the end of all this is a little girl who will very quickly grow up to realise her mother walked away.
@zapp I actually do recall many people giving Charlie props for letting his boys live with Denise. I remember the mother of his children was fighting to get the children back. Many people were bashing her and saying that Charlie was the better parent, because he at least admitted that was too messed up to raise his children.
That said, I agree with the poster who said that Hayden’s situation would be more sympathetic if she was genuinely trying to get her life together so that she could be more involved in her daughter’s life. If she has simply given up, then that’s incredibly sad for her daughter.
ITA with all of this, Zapp and PhillyGal.
@zappos you said exactly what I was thinking
I’m with you. If it were Vladimir who just took off to Ukraine and were pictured partying and throwing up, no one would be saying “he did the right thing by giving up his child.” I feel badly for her because it does seem like she’s been going through a rough time for a while, and it probably is a good idea for her daughter to be raised by her father, but that doesn’t make it selfless on her behalf.
There’s nothing “selfless” about her decision. Quite the opposite. HP, as her one and only grown-ass wealthy mother, has chosen her unhealthy lifestyle above the relationship with her daughter. For reasons I could have great empathy for- if she was trying to address them.
This is not like the selfless act of a teen giving their child up for adoption for a chance at a better life.
Exactly LadyT.
If she was REALLY doing this SOLEY for the benefit of her child, she would at least live in or visit frequently the country her daughter is in with supervised visitation so her daughter wouldn’t feel abandonded.
Exactly. There is nothing selfless about shipping your child to live across the world from you so you can party with your shady boyfriend. If she were a man she would be getting reamed in the comments. She doesn’t get a free pass on being a crap parent because she’s a woman.
I said something similar above and I agree with you.
At the risk of sounding judgmental, I don’t understand having a child if you have no desire to care for it. Unless she is dealing with something that I am unaware of–addiction etc–her child is growing up without a mother and to me, that is a failure on her part.
And if she does have issues that make her incapable of being a good mother then what is she doing to get help? What steps is she taking to get better? Does she ever want to be a part of this child’s life? I hope so.
But if she does, she needs to start working on herself and part of that is removing toxic people from her life, like the guy she is currently dating.
If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, calling it a duck is not “judgmental.”
You’re not judgmental, you’re just of sane and objective mind. And you’re thinking about the welfare of the child, the one who is the most vulnerable and innocent in this mess.
I agree, I wouldn’t call this a selfless decision at all, if she’s not taking the steps to fix whatever is keeping her from being a parent. It’s really sad, and I think someday she will truly regret it, so I do hope she gets whatever help she needs and gets her life back on track.
We can’t rule out that she could be a narcissist. In which case, she won’t regret it.
Not every mother is cut out to be the primary parent. It sounds like she made one good decision amidst some really bad ones lately. She knows her daughter is in a loved home, that’s all that matters.
If you’re not prepared to be the primary parent, then you shouldn’t be a parent.
Except some people don’t know they shouldn’t be parents until they are a parent.
And she had severe PPD that may have kept her from bonding.
It may be the child is safer without the mother right now.
I get that (really wish there was some sort of self-vetting process!) and I get the whole PPD thing. But I also couldn’t imagine not having my child with me (once the clouds parted/I sought help/therapy – whatever was needed). I would do everything in my power to have my child back. I think I have a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that someone *wouldn’t* want that? l wouldn’t be out smiling, holding hands with my boyfriend…I would be in INTENSE therapy/counselling until I had my child back.
To be fair, from this article it doesn’t sound like she’s being much of a secondary parent either.
Some people are not meant to be parents and that is completely fine. Once you have a child you have to put your own interests behind those of your child. She is clearly unable to be a parent, for whatever reason, and the child is obviously better off being with her father. Hopefully she finds whatever she is looking for, she seems lost.
I applaud anyone who makes the decision to place their child with someone better equipped to take care of them.
While it’s heartening to see compassion for a woman in crisis (she’s getting torn to bits for this on some sites), I can’t help but feel like we are not getting to the real problem here? The story talks about “wild behaviour” and spiraling….and good lord read between the lines about that boyfriend! If this story is true, she’s in serious trouble and at risk. It’s one thing if she made a clear, reasoned decision not to see her daughter very often, but if she’s in a bad state of addiction or mental illness was she capable of doing it?
This is a very sad story and has every possibility of getting a lot worse. The child is fine, but her? Red flags everywhere.
Agreed. I hope the daughter is in a safe home with her dad (someone upthread implied otherwise), but if this story is true, Hayden is trading parental responsibilities for partying. She’s not serving her country – or researching cancer treatments – or being a missionary in some unsafe country – or even on a long shoot for a film. It sounds like she has an addiction and needs treatment.
I’m Ukrainian and, although this is a stereotype in my part, I know many Ukrainian men who refuse to give up their daughter if there’s custody issues or neglect on mom’s part and he probably threatened her with a nasty, public custody battle where she’d be declared unfit. It’s just my opinion, of course.
She didn’t fight it. Or the location.
Also, sometimes post partum makes it hard to properly bond with the baby, at least at first, but clearly I don’t know what the case is here.
To me, the one thing that strikes me is how FAR her child is. It’s like they have so much animosity that he took the baby and left the country. He maybe could have moved closer so something feels off.
I am half Estonian-half Ukrainian (quite close to Ukraine both in distance and in my heart) and I have met Vladimir Klitschko because of my work couple of years ago. His heart is in Ukraine and he made it very clear that he wants to remain as close as possible to Ukraine no matter what life brings. So I am not surprised since things didn’t work out with Hayden that he decided to return to Ukraine and raise their daughter there.
This. I wonder how much control Hayden really had over Kaya being taken to Ukraine to be raised by grandma. Her ex is a wealthy and powerful man. She didn’t stand a chance fighting against him on this issue.
Oh come on. Hayden is obviously in throes of substance abuse, and to say that Klitschko in UsA has more power (or money) than a HW actress, I don’t believe it. Every corner of public opinion would be on her side if it went to court-remember that custody case with actress from gossip girl? Public took her side just because the dad wasn’t american and asked for his child to be raised, at least part-tine, outside of USA. People were treating him as some kind of demon.
What I’m trying to say, yes, Klitschko is a tall, strong man. And also a staunch democrat, fighter for human rights and without any incident, allusion or anything pointing to him as an abuser or manipulator in this.
otoh, Pantierre has several indications that she’s spiraling and not really healthy enough to be around her daughter.
I mean, what would you prefer?For a 4 year old child to be growing up happy and healthy, or for her to witness (probably daily) instances of physical altercations between fairly unknown people? I read the news when this altercation happened, and look at the pics in this article-do you really think that Hayden is in any way capable
of protecting her child in this state?
I read an earlier story about this, a couple months ago, that said that Hayden was perfectly fine with & on board with Vladimir having Kaya in Ukraine. And that it’s very amicable and Hayden goes to Ukraine to spend time with Kaya when she’s able to. It sounded in that article, and from other things I’ve read, like Vladimir is a great father who puts his daughter’s interests first.
Um, no. The best decision Hayden could make for her daughter would be to get help and get her life together so she can be a part of her daughter’s life. I am not judging as I’m a recovering alcoholic and can 100% relate. However, I am not shy about talking with people about recovery and the hard road it is. There is nothing in this story that makes me think she is being selfless, though. It’s not selfless to put off a relationship with your child because you choose to put off seeking help. It’s the exact opposite.
I don’t really see it as selfless… but if she’s not at the point where she’s willing to get help, then I think it’s the BEST decision for Kaya. I mean, it’s better (and safer) than having her present for the mess she seems to be in.
Yes that would be the ideal situation, for Hayden to get healthy enough to be a good parent. She’s got to be having issues being a good parent, so she is keeping her issues away from their daughter, which is not the best thing to do but it’s much better than the parent that is in denial and demands access and tries to hide their problems from the other parent in order to maintain access to the children. That would be the worst thing in these situations. Their ego being too big that they can’t admit they are unfit to be around their children, and cause trauma after trauma for their children to carry the rest of their lives. At least Hayden isn’t doing that.
I Heard US Weekly has rehired some of the old staff back that actually did reporting unlike People who still are dependent on the celebs’ PR people. US always used to get more insider stuff so I hope that is true. So I don’t believe they only get things through celeb cooperation.
She reminds me of some of Britney’s photos from a couple of years back – the big cheesy smile is there for the world to see – but there’s something missing and it just looks very sad when you take a step back and look at it more honestly.
If her daughter is being raised in a safe, healthy, loving environment then this is a good thing. Technology is amazing – Skype, FaceTime, WhatsApp – all make even a daily face-to-face 5 minute check in so much easier than ever before.
I do hope that she can find the same environment and support for herself. I was touched by how honest and raw she was about her post partum depression, and do hope that she can find some peace.
I have read some very dark stories about Hayden and what people did to her in her childhood. I don’t shame her for keeping her daughter safe.
But have those stories come from her, or did they come from sleazy antifeminist gossip sites? What’s happened to Olivia Munn, Gretchen Mol, and countless other women and girls in the public I who I could name, but won’t, should serve as a cautionary tale.
totally agree with this. we should also be aware of gossip sites fronting to be feminist but are really not. a case in point is this supposedly feminist and woke gossip site. i read her (this site’s) article on gretchen mol years ago and decided not to read her anymore as it was the last straw. i’m not even a fan of gretchen mol but felt the article really degraded her. she’s also done similar write-ups on other actresses. let us be more discerning of the sites we visit.
Even if the darkest rumors aren’t true, she is still a former child star with a stage parent. She would have seen how toxic Hollywood can be to children first hand. It may very well have factored into her decision for her kid to be raised far away from California.
@BorderMollie: You know, somehow, IF I decided that city where I live isn’t the best place to raise children, I’d relocate in order to raise my children. I wouldn’t SEND THEM AWAY. Seems like somewhat faulty logic.
Her career is…..well, it’s not thriving and, considering her substance abuse issues in the past (and obviously, now)-maybe it would be best that she moves away from HW.
If Hayden can recognize that she’s not in a good place to have her daughter full time right now I think it’s fine, obviously she should work on bettering herself and the situation but the girl should be fine with her dad. It’s better than keeping her daughter out of mom guilt or shame then not fully taking care of her.
My opinion: That pregnancy wrecked her body and mental state. She developed post partum depression and I don’t think she ever truly bonded with the baby as it was a source of anxiety and grief for her.
That’s why she can step away 🤷🏻♀️
It is what it is.
That makes sense. So sad. I hope one day they can have a loving relationship.
Ah, Interesting. I wondered upthread if there was a connection between the two. That would make sense though.
Sad.
I completely agree with you. I don’t think she ever wanted to be a mother in the first place and when her PPD was so severe, she was just never able to bond as a mother. And if she isn’t in the place to take care of her daughter, there’s nothing wrong with the father being the primary caregiver, where ever he may be. It doesn’t seem like Hayden is in a mental state to care very much so the safest and best place for Kaya is far away with loving family.
I don’t like when people say pregnancy “wrecked” someone’s body. It can change someone’s body but it doesn’t “wreck” or “ruin” it. That’s misogyny and the patriarchy talking.
She actually did suffer some horrendous problems after giving birth, not only PPD but physical. She’s a tiny little woman who gave birth to a huge child and required surgical intervention afterwards causing ongoing pain and limping for months.
My friends mother is a midwife and the size differential between parents is an indication of a potential difficult birth. A traumatic birth can cause a prevent bonding permanently. Someone I know had a mother who nearly died giving birth and as a result she was always a slightly cold & remote mother.
I like Hayden and wish her all the health and happiness she can get – she has been very open about her mental health struggles and it’s been rumoured about for years about her dysfunctional childhood as a child star with a pushy stage mother (herself a former soap star).
She has always been a bit troubled and I really hope she gets help for she is in a dark place and the current relationship sounds very dysfunctional. She seemed the most stable when with Vlad.
She’s gorgeous but all I see is a sad smile and alcohol bloat. Makes me sad for her.
I see it too,very sad
Imo, Hayden is all about Hayden but whatever. Her mom. Is gorgeous however.
Hayden’s mom?? She looks wonky from plastic surgery to me.
On second glance I can see that too. At least she not a wide-mouth bass yet lol.
What??? Her mom honestly looks like a drag queen who did too many drugs before the show.
No offense meant to alcoholic/addicted drag queens.
Being concerned for her current well-being is one thing but I refuse to Mom-shame her for letting her daughter live with her father–that is between the three of them and if it works well for them and the baby is happy then that’s great
Mom-shame? What exactly does a mother have to do to be legitimately called out for being a crappy mother? They exist, you know. We’re not talking a mismatched hairbow here. Dumping your kid so you can party hardy is not honorable. And the fact that the child is in a loving home in NO way excuses it.
(Again if HP has issues to address and she was actively doing so I’d lighten up but that is apparently not the case here.)
Does that make all mothers who gave their children up for adoption crapppy mothers? If you have a child and you know you can’t take care of them for whatever reason and you find someone who can-that does not make you a “crappy mother”.
She looks unwell and distressed and it is not the problem that her daughter lives with her very loving dad since that’s obviously much better for her. The problem is that she is not doing anything to help herself. Being drunk, clubbing and being with an idiot boyfriend can’t be a healthy solution for someone with such severe problems.
this
100%.
I don’t condone either parent ever abandoning their child. But I do think Hayden has some deep mental health problems and needs to sort them out before she can be active in her daughter’s life. I think she and Vlad made the best choice for the current situation. I’m sure Vlad and his daughter are very bonded and have a special relationship since Hayden spent a lot of time away dealing with PPD. I just hope it isn’t always this way.
I find it strange how closely her real life aligned with what was happening with her character Juliette on Nashville. The writers for the show wrote her real life pregnancy into the storyline, so after she came back from maternity leave to the show, her character dealt with post-partum depression to the point where her partner/the father was having to deal with all the responsibilities of the baby. I always wondered if it hit a little too close to home for her.
I just said that above. It’s bizarre. Or …IDK …maybe she really identified with her character?
This wouldn’t be a story if Hayden had her daughter and her ex was the one on a different continent.
And I don’t care if she made this decision because she’s partying/ using drugs or because her ex has a bigger backyard or just because she doesn’t feel like being an active parent right now.
It absolutely does take a measure of selflessness to understand and accept you aren’t the best place for your child and to let primary custody be with the father.
This is a particularly difficult decision to come to in a patriarchal society that expects more out if mothers than fathers and demonizes mothers who don’t give up everything for their children while praising fathers for meeting a minimum standard.
There’s a distinction between a mother who gives up everything for their child–and a mother who hasn’t seen her child much in the last 6 months (per article) and lives on another continent. Maybe there’s some middle ground there, hmm?
Sorry but I am not going to blame patriarchy for Hayden’s crap decisions. Hayden is an adult now and needs to grow up she sounds like a freaking mess.
counterpoint – what if she didn’t have a choice to leave her daughter behind and her current behavior is her way with coping with it? she has long standing substance issues and emotional troubles but maybe her renewed zest for dangerous behavior is a byproduct of her separation from her child and not the cause. i only know this b/c i know a man who did this to his ex wife. she was a recovering alcoholic but he punished her for choosing to leave him, gas lighted her into agreeing she couldn’t handle the kids full time, jerked her around on visitation and she eneded up falling off the wagon and “proving” his point. he barely does anything with his kids and his mother raises them. they are basically without either parent.
Yeah don’t blow this off as “selfless”, even if it is in the child’s best interest. It’s still very much a selfish act when you send your kid away and in the meantime have the ability to put yourself together to party and go out. It’s shameful.
Amen. Selfless? I’m laughing.
Look at her current face and body. She is not healthy. She is extremely bloated compared to herself from recent years. I know some medications can do that, but given reports of her lifestyle my money is on alcohol. And who knows what else. The father likely cares for the daughter full time out of simple necessity as the mother is unfit to do so. He just happens to be Ukrainian, so she resides there. That can happen if you have a child with a non US citizen. I also had to be raised solely by my father because of my mom’s substance abuse and emotional disconnection. My dad would have liked her to be more involved, but sadly it was not possible. This may be a similar situation.
Up thread I mentioned how I was raised by my father and his parents,it was in my best interests although not always easy.I see the situation of an absent mother as unselfish in the sense that they had to make that decision and live with the consequences,on the other hand it’s selfish if the mother never makes ANY effort to take part in the life of the child.I guess each situation should be judged on a case by case basis.
Our eldest is not mine by birth, we have full custody, and her mother lives overseas. Not going to get into why, but it was 100% the right choice for everyone. Her mother willingly signed the forms and we have extremely detailed agreements on contact and visitation. We encourage her to grow the emotional bond with her mother and her mother says while it’s hard, she’s happy with the current situation. There is likely a lot more to this story than first glance and a ton of red tape and permissions required, which I’m sure is easier with fame and money…
Good for you and your husband/partner to be so gracious as to encourage your daughter to have a healthy bond with the biological mother.Like I said above each situation is unique and should be treated as such.Your daughter is lucky to have you 💕
And it’s more than a sensibility or a sensitivity, Ukraine is a sovereign nation’s actual name. It is no longer “the Ukraine region.” It is the nation of Ukraine. And it has nothing do do with how “we” speak English. It has to do with how the people of Ukraine determine their own country’s name. It has nothing to do with the English language. Please see above.
Hmmm partying and loving it up with her new boyfriend doesn’t sound like Post partum and more like she just doesn’t want to be a mom?? Kudo points for Vladimir for stepping up and taking care of his child (as he should) and positive at least the child’s father will do right by her. Hayden needs to get her sh*t together asap because her child won’t be little for long and she’ll remember all this and have the internet to see what her mother was too busy doing while she was growing up. Do NOT have children if you’re not ready for them!!!
Whatever is going on, it’s not likely post partum depression at this point. It’s been 4 years since the baby was born. What Hayden’s doing/experiencing might be directly related to what she went through when she was suffering from PPD (such as the inability to bond with her daughter due to her mental state after her birth), it’s not still PPD after 4 years.
Also I don’t understand the hate for leaving her daughter to be raised by her ex. There are literally hundreds of thousands of kids just in the US who would love to be in that situation. They’re the ones who have two addicts for parents and are being neglected, abused, ignored and basically treated like shit. I’m sure they’d give their little right arms to have one parent who loves them and is stable.
Nah, she deserves the shade. No one is saying that little girl isn’t lucky to have a parent who loves her and is sticking around to take care of her. That doesn’t absolve Hayden of doing what she needs to do and being with the child she CHOSE to have. Yes I agree there’s so many kids that wish at least one parent would give a damn. This child is lucky she has her father but doesn’t make Hayden in the right at all.
There is video of her walking in that blue pantsuit above and she is talking to the paparazzi and she is clearly drunk. She was walking really strange and didn’t make much sense whatever she was talking about.
They were a couple for 9 years? So she was 20 and he was 33 when they met?
I’ve read many interviews with Vladimir Klichko and he always specified that he resides primarily in Germany (in Hamburg, if I am not mistaken.) I think he co-owns a sports club there. According to those interviews, he loves his daughter very much but regrets that he doesn’t spend enough time with her. And he is very grateful to his mother, who dedicates all her life to her granddaughter.
Having said that, I am not sure that USWeekly uses reliable sources for this particular story.
And I think there might be a pattern in Klichko family as well. He named his daughter Yevdokia after his grandmother, who brought him up? I don’t remember all the details but I think he was born in the military family in Kazakhstan? but brought up by his Ukrainian grandmother in Ukraine and he turned quite alright. I really respect Klichko brothers..
The UK. The United States. The Netherlands….
Why is her bf giving statements on her behalf? I hope she’s ok.
hayden has been in the industry since she was what? 6? appearing on soap operas and disney channel movies? Moving up to regular movies. was a teenager on heroes. She hasn’t lived a normal life and i remember people questioning her taste in much older men back then. She even talked about losing her party friends after having a baby. Don’t think she was mentally ready to be a mom. Had a friend that also wasn’t ready for motherhood at 19,and was told by sooooo many people that they’d help and give support her. After the baby was here where were they? Doing what young people do. People need professional help to handle situations they might not be ready for. Better to have the child in a safe place than with an incapable mother.
to quote Ana Navarro, “judgemental people need to walk in the shoes.” in this case shoes are the minds of these mothers.
I think Vladimir deserves praise in this situation, not Hayden. He’s the one that is stepping up to ensure his daughter has a loving home. I’m not going to attack Hayden, Rather, I just feel sorry for Kaya. It’s easy to say she has a stable home with her Dad and Grandmother so she’s fine. But knowing your mom ELECTED to let you go? I think that would eat at me. I’m pretty sure I’d feel that way even if I knew my mom had mental health issues. We put maternal love on such a pedestal, it would hurt to think your mom didn’t feel it enough of this magical maternal love to try to overcome her mental or substance abuse issues. I’m inclined to agree with those that speculate Hayden never fully bonded with Kaya due to her PPD. Very sad situation.
If only it were as easy to better yourself, to overcome a difficult childhood, substance abuse, PPD, or other mental issues as so many posters suggest.
We don’t know what’s in her heart, in her mind, but I do know that wanting to be better doesn’t make it so and that not being better doesn’t mean you aren’t trying.
I don’t understand why we are so deadset on tying Hayden’s efforts or lack thereof to her love for her daughter.
If loving someone was enough of a pull to heal, we wouldn’t have an opioid crisis nor would we need so many rehab and mental health facilities.
Hayden’s mental health is unrelated to how much she loves her child.
Remove the stigma
THIS. So much this. Thank you for this statement. It’s what I wanted to say but would have never been able put it so eloquently as you did.
It might be best for the child to live her dad. It’s probably better that Hayden recognizes that. BUUUTTT that does not make Hayden a good parent. Good parents are responsible, loving and present in their children’s lives. I hope that Hayden gets whatever help she needs to be a a more stable, consistent part of her daughter’s life.
If it’s the case that Hayden is currently trying to get her shit together, getting help and has a plan that involves working towards being more involved in her daughter’s life, then it’s possible not having custody of her daughter is the best plan for right now.
From the outside, it’s hard to believe that’s what’s happening, given that she is staying in what seems to be a toxic relationship and engaging in unhealthy behavior. Maybe she’s trying and failing, which would just be a sad situation. But it doesn’t mean staying away from her daughter is loving and selfless, it means she is pretty messed up.
After all, she could fly to Europe every few weekends to have supervised visits with her daughter, no matter how messed up the other parts of her life are. Let’s remember that people with addiction or mental health crises do have supervised visitation rights. And studies show that maintaining connection with family, even in very adverse circumstances, is still better for the mental health of the kid going forward.
How sad for this little girl to know that her Mommy doesn’t want to be with her…these are the kind of scars that can’t be healed.
Far better than living with an unstable and mentally ill parent. Where does it say Hayden doesn’t want the child?
From the pictures I saw of Wladimir, Hayden and the baby, I was always under the impression that Wladimir had really bonded with his daughter, and was really hands-on, while Hayden mainly watched from the sidelines.
Honestly, I think it’s better for Kaia not to have to witness any kind of erratic behavior. I remember the articles about what the Sheen kids got to witness and it was horrible.
That being said, I hope Kaya still gets to learn the English language, even if she barely sees her mom. Can you imagine having a daughter and not being able to communicate with her ?
I know quite a few men in this situation. Single dads. They all tell me they love it even though it’s hard.
From what I recall, Hayden has done interviews talking about her life influencing the story line on Nashville. She has talked about having really bad PPD. I think she did the right thing in making sure Kaya could be full time with a father bonded with her. I hope Hayden is on the road to or is getting the help she needs. PPD doesn’t just magically go away. I feel for all of the family members involved.
Hayden should get better, but until she gets better, if she feels that her presence is detrimental to her child’s well being, then it’s better for all parties involved to keep her distance. If she were a hot mess and fighting to keep custody of her daughter, then people would say that the child is just better off with her dad and that Hayden should just give up and stop being a bad mom. Look at the way people treated Britney Spears when she was fighting for custody. Look at what people said about Kelly Rutherford after she lost custody of her children. Everyone agrees that Gary Oldman’s former wife was an unfit mother for her sons, and when she protested otherwise, people definitely didn’t treat her well. People insist that Angelina Jolie is the literal devil, that she was making everything up, that her past drug abuse meant she was not a good mom to her children. People expect moms to walk a super thin line of acceptability, but don’t understand that you can’t have it both ways. What people really want isn’t for someone to be a good parent. They want someone they can criticize for their behaviour, and that’s not cool.
Meanwhile, Ben Affleck dates 22 year olds and walks out with his stained and sloppy t-shirts, and people think he’s a great dad because he goes to church and takes his kids out for ice cream. Don’t even get me started on the things people say about Jennifer Garner either. Brad Pitt had a huge falling out with his child to the point where his oldest two kids won’t even speak to him, and people still think he did nothing wrong. But a woman holding her baby wrong on an Instagram photo is enough grounds for people to think that she should have her child taken away from her because she’s probably an unfit mom.
This post’s “selfless” must surely be a typo for “selfish”. For the (supposed) drinking and/or drug problem, just like we all said for Brad Pitt, Hayden simply needs to get her sh*t together for her child.
No one EVER questions it when a seperated father doesn’t live with their kids. This situation should be every bit as unremarked upon.
Sorry but what does this Hayden girl
Do?!?! Obviously not a model…Is she an actress or musician??