Amy Sedaris got caught cutting the tops off carrots and putting them back

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Here is Amy Sedaris looking super cute at the Writers Guild Awards. I usually like her hair short but that style is very flattering on her. I was so happy to see Amy getting some love from y’all last week. I’m a fan of both Amy and her brother David so any time you want to chat about them, I’m game. The second season of At Home with Amy Sedaris aired last night. I haven’t had a chance to watch it yet but I will. Amy is getting the full roll out for this new season which is great because I think it went largely unnoticed last season. Amy is finally getting the attention she deserves. She was the subject of The Cut’s latest How I Get It Done series. Her answers are quirky, as expected, and revolve mainly around her pet rabbit, Tina, for whom Amy used to swipe carrot tops from the grocers… until she got caught.

On managing stress:
I can get stressed out. Sometimes an easy way to manage it is to pick up a book that takes you out of everything. Or calling a family member or a friend. I’m not a big drinker. I still like weed. When I get high, I like it

On chores:
I don’t have a housekeeper, so I clean my own apartment, and do my own laundry, and I always think no matter how busy I get, I always wanna make sure I can manage my home. I like being home, and I take a lot of pride in it.

On treating herself, and Tina:
Julienne carrots are my extravagance. Scented candles and buying julienne carrots for Tina. I buy ‘em for her maybe once a month, and I don’t go through the whole bag. I call them “French fries,” ‘cause they’re sticks. I got caught stealing carrot tops, because I’ve seen people just discard them. So I take ‘em ‘cause they’re free, and that’s what Tina likes. I just take the tops off, put the carrots back. And so I got caught doing that. I didn’t think I was doing anything bad, I’ve been doing it for years! But this one lady who works at the grocery store said you can’t do that.

On her nighttime routine:
At 5 o’clock, I always prepare for night. My shades go down, I have a night-light in the bedroom for Tina, and then I get my scented candles out, and I prepare for evening. I cook every night for myself. I like to make things that involve just one pot, you know what I mean. This week I made chicken and rice.

Gotta get Tina’s salad down and then you gotta blow all the candles out. One thing I’m obsessed with that I’ve done since I was little is I say my prayers, and that takes a long time. I gotta go through everybody I saw that day, I have to go through all the dead people, I have to go through the dead pets that I’m talking to. I go through everyone in my family, certain friends. I’ll light a candle for them, and I do it every single night. And some nights if I’m really tired, I might pick one person. Like it might be my dad, who’s 95, and be like “okay, that’s for dad tonight.”

On sleep:
Sometimes I go to bed at 3 in the morning, sometimes 2, sometimes midnight. Last night I was in bed at 10. I don’t have consistent hours. But Tina will get me up, ‘cause she wants that banana. So no matter what, I’ll feel a whisker on my face, like ’come on, really?’

[From The Cut]

Oh to have been a fly on the wall with Amy cutting carrot tops off. Did she whip out her Swiss Army knife to lob them off? Then what, shoved them in her purse and finished her shopping with carrot greens sticking out? I mean, I get her point, that most people do throw the tops away but yeah, I wouldn’t buy carrots with the tops cut off. Also, carrots regrow very easily so we usually plant our carrot tops. Which brings me to my own Hecate tip: naughty doggos also love those carrot tops and will dig them up as soon as you plant them to play toss with them around the yard.

I’m intrigued by her nighttime routine. She begins at 5pm but then doesn’t go to sleep until 2 or 3? I want to know what she does with all those hours outside of dinner. I’ll bet there’s a bath in there and probably a nice, long, de-stressing book read. I’m getting serious night routine envy. I have a routine but the whole thing is set up so I can fall into bed at 9 and pray the kids fall asleep soon after. Amy also said she gets her wellness advice from Justin Theroux, who is a good friend of hers. He advised her to have a lemon every morning so she juices it and drinks it in some form. Amy doesn’t explain why Justin says to drink a lemon but there’s something so very Justin Theroux-y to the suggestion to “have a lemon every morning,” isn’t there?

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Photo credit: WENN Photos

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29 Responses to “Amy Sedaris got caught cutting the tops off carrots and putting them back”

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  1. Slowsnow says:

    About Theroux- I like him even more now. I know it’s an unpopular opinion around here.
    His Aniston is like Hisdleston’s Swift: a weird glitch, a giving in to another system through a beautiful woman (I find both of them asexual – again totally personal opinion). But they did not belong and they quickly made their way to NY hipsterism and britishism, respectively. Both man are a little vain. Which is ok, it produced good gossip.
    PS: yes I am comparing Aniston and Swift in their success, non-sexy beauty and Hollywood disconnection, not saying they are alike in any other way

    • tempest prognosticator says:

      +1

    • smoothjazz says:

      Wasn’t there a CB poster who had a friend who ran with Theroux’s crowd and who detailed how both JT and AS were kind of pretentious and superficial in real life or something?

  2. cannibell says:

    I can’t believe you didn’t post a photo of Tina with this story. She’s fabulous, and her whole family is fabulous. More Amy stories!!!

  3. Esmom says:

    I can relate but of course I can’t describe my own night routine as appealingly as she can. I usually try to put it off as long as possible, because getting my pjs on at 5 pm feels a little like giving up to me. I have done it, though, lol.

    I love her and her family, too. In fact I think of David often now as I worry about my very quirky college student. I figure if David can spend 8 hours a day picking up roadside trash then and still find happiness and success then maybe my son’s insistence on adhering to his obsessions won’t be his undoing. Sigh.

  4. ZGB says:

    The headline is absurd and hilarious. I love stories like this

  5. Dee says:

    Wow that long hair gives here 20 years!

  6. yiza says:

    she sounds nuts! I mean that in a nice way.

    • Spicecake38 says:

      *So I take ’em cause they’re free and that’s what Tina likes *and *but Tina will get me up because she wants that banana *
      This had me cracking up 😂
      She seems very quirky fun,I would love having lunch with her(and Tina)🐰

  7. Kealeen says:

    Amy Sedaris is damn near 60! She is living her best Benjamin Button life, and I will forever be grateful to her for gifting us with the bizarre, criminally-underrated Strangers With Candy.

  8. Insomniac says:

    I used to adore “Strangers With Candy” — I swear, I knew someone IRL who was uncannily like Jerri Blank. Always cool to see Amy getting some love.

    • Kat says:

      Yes! Best show! She is fabulous and quirky. Would like to go to dinner with her, before 5pm of course

  9. Steph says:

    I’ve heard thru the years to drink warm water with lemon first thing in the morning, as opposed to coffee, to perk you up and get you going. I’ve never tried it though… I love coffee lol

    • Spicecake38 says:

      Heard this too,I want to try it,each time I’m at the market I forget lemons.I’ll have to put it on a list so I don’t forget.Supposedly it aids in digestion.

    • wildflower says:

      It’s an Ayurveda thing and it is very soothing. I also put ginger in my lemon water and it is amazing.

  10. Amysedarisforever. ❤️

  11. Giddy says:

    I’ve read books by both Amy and David, and they are both quirky and hilarious. It made me wonder what life was like in the Sedaris household when they were growing up. I would have paid good money to just get to sit in a corner and observe the family’s daily routine. It must have been wild!

  12. Valiantly Varnished says:

    I relate to this so much lol. Minus the chores – which I hate – and the cooking which my kitchen is too tiny for me to like doing. I start my nighttime routine around 5:30 when I get home. Feed the cat, clean the litter box, do my skincare routine, change into my comfies…
    The carrot bit is hilarious and I am wondering how she got away with it for so long.

  13. Mle428 says:

    I just started volunteering our community farm and was told that the tops leech nutrients from the carrot, so they should be taken off right away. She was doing people a favor! Lol

  14. tealily says:

    I just love her! And I agree on the evening routine jealousy. She is living my best life.

    • jan90067 says:

      OMG I would DIE living in all that clutter! Definitely colorful and quirky; it suits her personality, but damn, I’d hate to live in it lol

  15. Cay says:

    Love her, but I still think she was at her best when she would guest on David Letterman. They had so much chemistry.

  16. Anastasia says:

    Get home around 4, let the dogs out, feed the dogs, give them fresh water. Change into jammies (I love jammies and get into them ASAP). Chill, read, have a tiny snack, and cuddle with the dogs for a bit. Light candles, make dinner, read some more. Maybe listen to some music. Shower, then bed. I love it.

    And I love Amy. And David. That whole family.

  17. Ms. Petit says:

    My husband came across this hilarious series “No Activity” on CBS All Access recently and it was a pleasant surprise to see Amy Sedaris in it!

  18. raincoaster says:

    Beet tops, also, are often discarded but my mother would cut a bitch who snatched them for free. That stuff is FOOD.