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Amy Schumer was on Late Night with Seth Meyers last night. She’s promoting her new Netflix standup special, Growing, which I’ve heard good things about. (I tried to watch it and I couldn’t get through it but I’ve been in an impatient mood lately.) Amy came out with a huge fake bump on, that photo is below. She told a joke about smoking so her baby wouldn’t be huge, which was messy but funny, and she said that she still has hyperemesis and that she threw up a bunch of times on the way to the show. She said “I’m lucky I have good healthcare and I can get an IV and survive.” Amy is getting the most headlines for talking about the fact that she opened up in her special about her husband’s autism diagnosis. She told Seth that she talked about it with his approval and that they want to reduce the stigma associated with autism, similar to how ADHD is now more understood and acceptable than it was years ago.
You talk about how he got tested and is on the autism spectrum
He was diagnosed as high functioning autism spectrum disorder.That has been a sum positive for your marriage
That’s why we both wanted to talk about it, because it’s been totally positive, I think a lot of people resist getting diagnosed even with some of their children because of the stigma that comes along with it.But you’re not just diagnosed and then they throw you out. Hopefully you can get help. The tools that we’ve been given have made his life so much better and our marriage and our life more manageable. So I just wanted to encourage people to not be afraid of that stigma.
You know when ADD was the new thing? You were a little embarrassed if you got diagnosed with attention deficit and now everyone is like ‘I have that.’
I think there are a lot of people with autism who go undiagnosed when I think their life could be better if they got those tools.
That’s wonderful
Also his life and his trajectory that’s not everybody on the spectrum. He’s an amazing guy I don’t want to make it sound like ‘I’m so nice that I married someone with autism.’I fell in love with him and I wouldn’t trade him in for anybody.
My wife and I… know Chris and he’s incapable of lying
It’s a dream but it’s also a real nightmare. I came out right before [and] changed outfits, and I was like ‘Does this look okay?’ And he was like ‘Well it’s too late.’He’s right, though. It was too late.
He also can’t lie on your behalf
It’s really challenging because he can’t lie for me. You need your partner to be like, ‘Yeah, we do have to get home!’ And he’s like ‘No, we have nowhere to be.’
I really like what she said about being open about her husband’s autism so it reduces the stigma. There were so many wonderful comments on the last post from parents of children with autism. Thank you to those of you who commented that this is a positive change that shows that awareness and acceptance is increasing. I love those type of threads and I learned a lot from you. Many of you also said that Amy is helping change the perception that autism is something to be “cured” by explaining how it can be a strength.
Here is the video of that part of her interview:
Photos credit: Getty, Amy Schumer’s Instagram and Avalon.red
I find her in the category of Lena dunham though. She just kind of grosses me out. She can be a bit abnoxious to a high, almost unnecessary degree. But good for her on speaking out on this topic.
It wasn’t her place to discuss this in public and she should have left it to him. If he wanted to reveal in then she could have set something up. I feel she did it because she is an attention ho and wanted something to keep her in the news.
She did leave it up to him. He decided he wanted to make it public and to work to make it something people shouldn’t be worried about having it made public. It’s not like being revealed to be a secret ax murderer.
She didn’t just suddenly decide on her own to talk about it.
Removing the stigma associated with any condition is key.
This is the most I’ve liked Amy, and it’s because she’s doing something for someone else, for other people. Good for her, and for her husband. It’s takes guts to put yourself out there like that.
You know. I am quick to give her crap for a lot of the things she’s done over the years. But I really appreciate her talking about this. It’s great for anyone with autism to see others out there living a great fulfilling life – because I know the barriers associated with it can really make you doubt yourself and your future at times. The suicide rate is a lot higher in autistic people as well – and anyone who’s out there trying to improve the negativity around it is doing something great.
I don’t really find Amy that funny. I like her so much outside of her comedy, especially the past couple of years, that I’ll probably watch the Netflix special anyway.
Same. Actually like her movies but not her stand up.
I don’t like standup in general but I loved Trainwreck and her comedy sketch show. I will not watch her latest Netflix standup special and am sorry I sat through her last one. Standup is a complete buzzkill for me 99% of the time.
She is growing on me. I have more respect for her than before. I watched the special. It was ok.
As far as people hesitating to seek diagnoses, I think she’s really referring more to adults who have struggled all their lives for reasons that are unclear but have generally functioned ok. Because diagnoses among kids have exploded in the 17+ years since my son was first evaluated as a toddler. And even if parents of young kids are hesitant to have their kids evaluated (out of fear or the stigma or both), schools still tend to pursue it because they understand that earlier you can intervene with speech, occupational and other therapies, the better the outcomes.
(Although not always, my friend’s son and my son “looked” very much alike in their behavior when they were little and while mine is now away in college hers is still non-verbal at age 18 and unable to live alone.)
In any case, I’m really glad she’s talking about this so matter-of-factly. I dream about the day my son will say “Give me a second, I’m having a spectrum moment,” or something like that to acknowledge his ongoing struggle that isn’t always apparent to people since he goes to great lengths to try to “pass as typical.” And it’s really, really hard for him, every single day.
I laughed at her comment about how her husband can’t tell little social white lies, that is my son, too. He’ll call people out on BS like that and it’s part of what makes him so endearing, actually. He keeps it real, that is for sure.
@Esmon I just wanted to say that you seem like an awesome person. I read your comments with curiosity always. Your comments about your son being in college are so sweet and profound.
Aw, thank you for your kind words, it really means a lot.
Thanks for your post @esmom. My almost 3-year-old daughter was diagnosed with ASD last year. She sees a speech therapist and occupational therapist and also receives feeding therapy because she has yet to start eating solid foods. We recently discovered that she also has a tongue tie so that obviously is standing in the way of her eating abilities and also her speech. The one thing that we constantly hear is that her early diagnosis was definitely a good thing and getting her started early with her therapies is giving her a huge head start. It can definitely be very stressful but seeing how she’s so young and just starting with her therapies the odds of it being manageable are definitely a lot stronger.
Early intervention therapy is wonderful that it helps when parents get it for their kids. Glad to hear you did it! I wish your family lots of luck
smcollins, It can indeed be stressful but having been on this journey for almost 20 years, starting with EI, I can say that the joys far outweigh the sorrows and frustrations. And the people you will meet along the way who’ve devoted their lives to helping kiddos like ours will humble you. All the best to your little girl, and to you.
Thank you esmom & victoria, I truly appreciate that! 😊
My friend’s husband really struggles with the fact that he was not diagnosed as a child, even though the children clearly inherited it from him. (He’s mid-functioning – VERY intelligent, but absolutely struggles with basic empathy, adult responsibilities, etc.) His mother absolutely did not help him by semi-stigmatizing it because while she will admit to family behind his back that he likely has it, she’ll deny having said that to his face. It’s led to a lot of neuroses for him and a serious inferiority complex. It honestly worries me because I can see the strain it puts on their marriage because he’s in such denial about it. Both of their children are in wrap-around and doing well in it, but it’s brought some issues to the forefront because seeing his kid’s development is making him recognize his own parents’ failures to get him diagnosed. My friend told me the most heart-breaking thing he ever said to her is wondering how much easier his life would’ve been if he had half the therapy the kids had – like, maybe he would’ve been able to finish his PhD if he had the social skills to navigate academia better.
It just highlights how awful the entire “cure autism” movement is. You’re literally teaching thousands of people that their lives aren’t worth living as they are, fundamentally “othering” them from the rest of the population. It’s hurting people, and all in pursuit of an illusion of normality that few of them will ever achieve. We’d do so much better of a society learning flexibility in our definitions of normal.
Veronica S., What a heartbreaking story. It’s not too late for your friend’s husband to start therapy, though, if only try to work though his anger and find some peace with who he is. He must have developed some serious compensatory strategies to get by in life so far, which in and of itself is no small feat.
And you are so right about society needing to become more accepting of all types of minds. As my son has spent so many years learning how to fit into the cookie cutter mold that schools and society prefer and often demand, I often think we have a lot more to learn from people like him than they have to learn from us.
Depending on your friend’s husband’s age, a childhood diagnosis might not have been possible. The diagnostic criteria have changed meaningfully in the past few decades. We used to think that an Autism diagnosis required a language delay. Then there was the idea of Aspergers, which was basically Autism without a language delay. But the first paper on Aspergers wasn’t published in English until 1994! (They no longer consider Aspergers a separate diagnosis in the US.) There are a lot of bright, verbal kids that just wouldn’t have ever gotten an Autism diagnosis as a kid, even if their kids can get one today.
(I’m a lawyer and a mom and wasn’t diagnosed until 38. Trust me, I was an Autistic kid, even if no one knew at the time.)
Even now, there are a number of biases and barriers that both parents of kids who think that their kids are on the spectrum and adults like your friend’s husband have to face and try to overcome. Autism is a disorder that requires having decent health insurance, financial resources for treatment, and time to go to doctors, behavioral specialists and to deal with insurance companies.
There was a study that came out in the last couple years about how the current methods of diagnosis overlook girls. Part of the issue is how girls are socialized different from boys. Girls who may have autism learn to mimic others’ social cues to mask the lack of theirs in the desire to try to connect to others. The other aspect is the hyperfocus part of the diagnosis. Girls may not focus on the STEM aspects so commonly seen in boys. Instead, they’ll focus on more female oriented activities. There have been studies that suggest that anorexia and other eating disorders could be manifestations of autism in teens and young women.
It’s also underdiagnosed in minorities and people who lack the financial resources to fight for themselves and their children. It’s also harder if diagnosed as an adult to get workplace accommodations, including reducing sensory distractions.
I’ll be the b&tch today – I only started watching her special bc of the amazing comments about autism here.
Aaaaand now I have the nagging feeling that she is using her hubby. Like she did with Notaro’s cancer bc this is the only good thing about her not-so-special which is goddam awful. I’ve made funnier jokes about my pregnancies and that’s saying a lot.
For an amazing DIRECT testimony about autism it’s much better to watch Greta Thurnberg’s TED talk in a loop.
Edit: and now that I’ve watched the video I suspect her sister-in-law is the one who should be doing comedy…
That’s a really gross statement. And really crappy to assume someone would marry a man with autism just for more attention.
@Lolly certainly not talking about her marriage. What I was implying is that – CB here being proof of it – she knows her hubby’s autism will garner her much more attention that the rest of her show which is a bunch of banal jokes.
But it’s fine if you find my b&tchiness gross, deep down I hope the world is the way you see it.
@Slowsnow I have a nephew with autism-he’s nonverbal-and I would like to believe people would love him for him and not the attention they could piggyback off of him. But I do see what you mean, I’m just hoping you’re wrong!
With you all the way @Lolly
On a positive note I definitely wasn’t talking about her wedding: Schumer does seem to enjoy (hopefully love) her hubby. And your nephew seems to have an awesome aunt/uncle (don’t want to assume).
Who cares if she hopes that it will bring more attention to her show though? I haven’t watched it, but based on what has been written here it seems that she is addressing her husband’s autism in a thoughtful way, and so the end result is more attention and understanding for autism. If her show also gets more attention what is the downside? People learn about autism while watching a comedy special that they may or may not find funny…
I always have mixed feelings about people discussing diagnoses they don’t personally have, but I would hope she and her husband discussed this at length before they went public with it. Honestly, even if she’s doing it for attention, I can deal with it. This is by far the most positive I’ve heard a celebrity talk about autism, and in a loving, adult way from a married partner. We desperately need more of that in the world, whatever the motivation.
Yes!
That’s true- saying she loves her husband because of his autism and not despite it is a strong message and I am loving the fact that everyone here feels inspired by it.
I am not inspired by Schummer and her comedy was really grating to me (for many reasons). But since you are all so positive I’ll leave it at that.
Good lord. She stated her husband is okay with her discussing it. And she hasn’t said anything about it that is offensive. Quite the opposite, actually. She’s talking about how hard to get beyond the stigma it is for people and how important it is to know it’s okay.
I think he is using her fame to spread Autism awareness and acceptance. This is totally fine by me.
Some of her past specials have been… not to my taste. A little vulgar for me (I’ve become prudish in my old age – 46).
But the new special – I laughed, out loud, while sitting alone on my couch. I laughed so hard I cried a few times. It’s really funny.
I’m glad she’s reducing some stigma around autism.
But also, there’s still a lot of stigma around just existing as a woman- and it’s great to hear her joke about some of those things.
I agree with you — it felt like she touched on deeper issues in this, including the problematic way young girls are taught to view bad behavior by boys as flirting…and more like that. Also, I don’t think she’s using her husband, I think she makes a good point that being w a guy who simply can’t lie is a kind of balm, esp these days…
It not prudish really because it really isn’t about sex. Dislike when any comedian gets stuck one one type of “joke” and doesn’t change that path. Don’t like any comedy which relies on one topic and plays off of that same topic after another and another. It is boring and not creative. Its not even shocking its just blah.
Diagnosed autistic spectrum woman checking in to say that not every autistic person is incapable of lying or small talk. Some of us, especially as we age (I’m now past 50), catch up at least somewhat to our neurotypical peers in terms of social skills. Human behavior and its underlying motivation has been an area of “special interest” for me since I was 14 and reading all the psychology sections of my school books trying to figure out what was different about me. I prefer not to lie but I can and do tell “white lies” in some circumstances. To quote a saying I read years ago on an autistic forum: “If you’ve met one autistic, you’ve met … one autistic.” 😉
Hi there @square I have read a lot about autism bc… at some point I thought I might be a huge introvert – or on the spectrum. I found out gender has an influence and that many women (or people who identify as such) are harder to diagnose bc less affected by obsessions with timetables and machinery and more aware of social norm and even more able to copy neurotypical behaviour.
@Slowsnow, I have heard things like that as well. It seems to have been true for me. I asked a fellow autistic online if he thought my social insights were proof of my being neurotypical, and he said I was just a psychology geek. that sums it up. 🙂
@Slowsnow, I have heard things like that as well. It seems to have been true for me. I asked a fellow autistic online if he thought my social insights were proof of my being neurotypical, and he said I was just a psychology geek. That sums it up. 🙂
A lot of the psychological studies are done on men (and particularly, white men), which is part of why diagnoses for other groups has always lagged behind. I was a girl with ADHD in the 90s, and I struggled immensely in high school because back then the model was based on how little boys reacted to it. We didn’t know then how differently girls were impacted on a social/emotional level, and that’s where most of my problems existed. I was a decent student, but that changed toward my final years of school because the bullying I dealt with began to impact my desire to be a student because I was the “weird” kid. I imagine my life would’ve been much easier if the doctors I visited as a child knew more about the gendered differences in ADHD that they know today. The field is very slowly changing to acknowledge this issue, but it’s definitely a problem that exists.
Here’s a great article from 2016 about how autism manifests differently in girls.
https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/autism-it-s-different-in-girls/
Hi Square_Bologna, I definitely didn’t mean to imply that everyone on the spectrum is unable to lie. My apologies if I used too broad of a brush in describing my experience with my son. He usually tells it like it is, but he’s also able to tell a lie. He will usually not tell someone they look terrible if they ask how something looks on them, for example. He knows sometimes it’s nice to spare someone hurt feelings. He’s also flat out lied about things he’s done, lol, much like a typical teen.
You are definitely right about the old autistic adage, which is why I’m sometimes hesitant to share what interventions have helped my son over the years because I know just because something was helpful for him doesn’t mean it will be equally so for someone else.
Esmom, sorry if I sounded snappish, your son’s tact sounds like mine. 🙂 Sharing what works in one situation may be helpful just as a starting point, even if it doesn’t work for everyone. I did go through a weird lying stage as a 6-year-old … I knew my mother wanted me to have friends, even though most of my peers disliked me and I actually preferred to spend recess time by myself, so for two weeks I would come home from school and tell her I played with [fill in girls’ names]. Then I felt guilty and confessed. Then I think I did it some more, just to make her happy. ;p
Both my kids and I are ASD and we have no problems lying 😂
In fact my youngest, 14 today, lies his ass off both to get out of trouble and sometimes just for the hell of it.
I’m a big liar mcliarson, too lol
I haven’t liked her either but watched her special, thinking I’d last a few minutes, but I ended up liking it, and it’s aptly titled I think — it seems she has grown, emotionally as well as physically 🙂
Amy Schumer is super smart, brave and awesome. Enough with the haters. Her comedy might not be to your taste but cant deny she is willing to put her neck out and take a stand for important issues. Shes a hero and a badass business woman!
I gotta say I’m with her on this! Good for them.
I have severe ADD, like I will not drive if I haven’t taken my medication. I’ve gotten in accidents due to my inattentiveness. It’s genuinely scary. ADD (technically all forms are under the ADHD umbrella, but I never had the hyperactivity) is STILL really misunderstood. Every time I hear a squirrel joke, I want to scream. My partner can’t understand it. The best way I’ve tried to explain it to him is that when we’re having a conversation, I’m thinking about something completely different in my head. I am not in control of my thoughts. Racing out of control is my normal! People still don’t get what Add is like and how it really can be a strength. But it does make life more difficult!
It doesn’t help that there was that whole movement in the 2000s “oh ho ho maybe ADHD is made up by companies to sell drugs!” Like, hey, maybe you should f*ck off because you’re talking about actual human being’s lives and experiences here. I have full-fledged ADHD – the hyperactivity has relaxed a bit now that I’m older, but I’m still very fidgety and constantly in need of stimulation. I can drive without meds, but I won’t do it if I’m tired or for more than 4-5 hours at a time. I’m a chronic procrastinator. I’m either completely unproductive or overloading myself to the point of physical collapse. At 32, I’ve learned how to use my atypical neurology to my advantage or work around the disadvantages, but I can tell you it’s been a hell of a journey getting here
It would have been much easier if people had bothered treating me with the respect of somebody with a disorder. I don’t want special treatment, but I do want ACKNOWLEDGEMENT from family and friends that a lot of basic shit that other adults do is more taxing for me. I want the respect that I do those things ANYWAY despite the mental toll it takes on me. I don’t want to be yelled at because I have laundry on the floor from three days ago – I KNOW IT’S A MESS OKAY, SATURDAY IS GOING TO BE CLEANING DAY. And when they ask me why can’t I do it now, I want them to LISTEN and BELIEVE me when I say honestly that I don’t have the physical or mental energy to do it, that I literally have to set aside time to do it properly.
I want professors to stop being absolute pricks about mistakes or improperly submitted assignments and then telling me I need to be more responsible WHEN I WAS BEING RESPONSIBLE. YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND, I READ IT SIX TIMES OH MY GOD. I’VE LITERALLY TURNED EVERYTHING ELSE IN ON TIME, WHY ARE YOU GIVING ME SHIT ABOUT THIS.
I don’t want condescending lectures about how losing the weight I gained in thyroid disease would work better if I had more food discipline. I AM AWARE, JACKASS, BUT I LITERALLY HAVE A BRAIN THAT FUNCTIONS ON IMPULSE AND CRAVES CARBS BECAUSE IT’S WORKING TOO MUCH. If I’m using up all of my mental discipline stores for an eight hour work day and school work, where exactly do you want me to find these extra reservoirs to avoid picking up that goddamn cookie I told you not to buy in the first place? There are no reservoirs. I had to learn to make the ones I do have! I work out regularly because it’s good stimulation for me, but even THAT is also discipline.
I resent being told that I’m making excuses when this is a very real struggle for me. I am not the one who needs to learn how to conform – I’ve done the best that I can! It’s the rest of society that needs to learn a little patience and tolerance now.
Well said, Veronica S. Invisible disabilities can be so hard because so many people just have no clue. Kudos to you for all that you are doing and accomplishing, you sound like a rockstar. Virtual hugs from someone who gets it, who knows how hard you work and is humbled.
Gosh, Veronica, I feel for you.
@ Savu & Veronica S–I also have severe ADD (inattentive type) and when I tell people (even the psychiatrist that prescribes me the meds!!!) that I can’t drive if I don’t take my meds and give them time to “kick in”, they look at me as I’ve grown an extra head and/or speaking a different language. I actually rear-ended the car in front of me while waiting in a drive through at a fast food place. I hate it, and if others can’t/won’t believe me, then they can f**k off.
Still do NOT see any positives or “strengths” in having this…
I’m pleased that Amy Schumer and her husband are highlighting autism. We need to destigmatize autism, and fight for treatments that can help autistic people live fuller lives.
One of our daughters is a high functioning autistic person.
My daughter prefers “autistic” to “person with autism”, as she feels that it profoundly colours everything in her life and is thus apt. I’ll use it here.
She’s usually good with “high functioning”, too, though some are not. People on all parts of the spectrum often have profound struggles, and “high functioning” doesn’t mean that they don’t truly struggle day-to-day.
For example, our daughter struggles with anxiety, crowds, social situations, and more. She can’t really “read” emotions in others, and struggles daily with not knowing if she’s saying or doing the right thing.
She has sensory issues, especially related to sounds and touch. Normal interaction can be painfully loud, and overload her quickly.
She has serious issues with “executive function” – the ability to perform tasks in logical order, which is frustrating for her. L
On the plus side, she has an incredible memory, memorizes facts easily, has a wicked sense of humour, and can single-mindedly devote hours and hours to any task. She’s a wonderful artist, a brilliant writer, loves all kinds of food. She loves to cook and is a gifted baker. She can pick up any instrument and will be able to play it within moments.
She tends to having “rigidity” in her thinking, but she’s honest to a fault, and strives to always do the right thing.
Autism isn’t what she has; she feels that it is a large part of who she is. To us, she’s a wonderful, smart, kind, talented, caring, funny, sweet, brilliant, good person. We’re so lucky to have her.
What a sweet post.
Love your post 💚
Nevermind
I saw Amy’s special and thought it was great. Her comedy has really matured. I noticed she did quite a lot with timing and facial expressions. She was very relaxed. And pro-woman! Many funny bits including imagined phonecalls to Mitch McConnell for advice about her period.
The parts about her husband were sweet and funny, always said with love.
I think it’s quite likely my father was on the spectrum. He was a brilliant man and highly respected in his field. Whizzed through school when he was young and graduated college when he was 18! As a child, his mother thought there was something “wrong” with him and kept taking him to doctors. Til the end of his life he hated doctors for that reason. But he had great difficulty expressing love or connecting with us members of the family. He hated socializing — parties of any kind. The interacting with people part of life was hard for him, other than his colleagues at work. Autism is rather fascinating, how wide-ranging the behaviors can be.
Glad to see the positive message about autism this special has (helped to) generate, and it was funny in parts. I’m not a huge AS fan and case in point: the last third of the special was mostly jokes I’d seen a thousand times on social media–really recycled stuff and not original at all.
The autism part, and the first third, though, were worthwhile.