Tightly pulled actor Rupert Everett sat down for a long cozy interview with UK’s Daily Mirror for what seemed to be no other reason that talking some serious smack about bigger celebrities. He wasn’t really promoting anything – there was a relatively brief mention of his upcoming documentary, “The Scandalous Adventures of Lord Byron,” but that’s it. He was just there to share some nasty, catty thoughts, as per usual.

The main target of his tirade was Michael Jackson, who Everett once had a crush on, but clearly fell very much out of love with. But he also made sure to pick on Gwyneth Paltrow while praising Katie Price too.

It’s 7pm in a busy Italian restaurant just off New York’s Broadway and Rupert Everett is in full gossip mode. As the pre-theatre dining crowd crane to eavesdrop, he leans in and says in a slightly too-loud stage whisper: “I would have leapt at the chance of sleeping with Michael Jackson when I was 14.”

An elderly lady blushes beetroot red, and a waiter almost drops a plate of pasta. Everett takes a sip of his red wine, blissfully uns aware of the shock he has just caused… Not that Everett, whose own brief foray into the pop world included singing backing vocals on his mate Madonna’s version of American Pie, was any fan of Jackson’s.

“He was a freak,” says Everett, who at 50 is the same age Jacko was when he died. “He looked like a character from Shrek. He was a black to white minstrel. He was crucified by that court case when he was accused of child molestation – that killed him. He personified the pain and anxiety of a black man in a slave country. We all watched as he changed from black to white. He was living performance art. I think it was fortuitous that he died. He was supposed to be doing 50 concerts in London.

“It wouldn’t have mattered how good or bad he was. He wouldn’t have managed to do all of them and the press would have destroyed him.” Everett believes that Jacko’s death may even spell the end of modern-day celebrity itself. “You cannot divide the music from the person,” he says. “I think his life – and death – is a great lesson.

[From the Daily Mirror]

He later notes, “‘We have Michael Jackson, a black man who has gone white, and we have President Barack Obama, who is a half-white man gone black. It’s absolutely fascinating to watch.’” Rupert seems to lack the normal self-censoring gland most of us have. He seems to relish the shock factor more than anything. Everyone’s allowed their own opinion, and Michael Jackson certainly arouses a lot of them. But… damn. Those comments are best shared privately between close confidants, not tabloid journalists. Of course Everett knew saying stuff like that would get him a lot of attention, and that was probably the purpose. After all, he also took on Katie Price and Gwyneth Paltrow, saying he’d rather be stuck on a deserted island with Katie, because at least she’s real.

Ask him about other celebrities and he homes in on Katie a Price, the former glamour model Jordan whose marriage to Peter Andre crashed and burned on reality TV. “Jordan is one of those people who has integrity,” he says. “She is not dishonest about what she is doing. She should make hay while the sun shines.

“Her eldest son is severely disabled – she needs the money for the future. She is very beautiful and even the books that she may or may not have written have been a success. She has achieved more than a lot of other people.” And then, out of nowhere, he shows his manicured claws. “If I had the choice of being on a desert island with Jordan or Gwyneth Paltrow, I would choose Jordan,” he says.

“With Jordan you get the truth. She’s treated like a quasi-hooker, whereas Gwyneth is seen as the patron saint of good living. Which one has more integrity? I would much rather have Jordan any day.” Miaow. Saucer of milk to go with the plate of pasta for table two please.

He says he is still good pals with Gwyneth’s mate Madonna, although when asked if she has been to see him during his stint on Broadway he shakes his head.

[From the Daily Mirror]

Something tells me Madge won’t be attending any Rupert-related functions for quite a while. She and Gwyneth are super close, and I seriously doubt she’d put up with a more distant acquaintance talking smack about her joined-at-the-hip friend. In all fairness we’re not exactly big Gwyneth fans at Celebitchy, so I can’t really blame Rupert. But as far as I know Gwyneth and I don’t have any mutual social connections that I could be irreparably severing. I can kind of see his point about Katie Price if you wanted to look at her celebrity really superficially. If her sole motivation was making enough money to take care of her son Harvey, that would be fairly noble. It appears that fame and lots of drunken debauchery is also really important to her, so that sort of dims Rupert’s argument a bit. Nonetheless, if you made me choose between Gwyneth and Katie on a deserted island, I’d probably go with Katie. She could teach me how to apply false eyelashes and crush my boobs together. Gwyneth would just teach me how to make another vegan sandwich.

Thanks to Hollywood Rag for the lead.

Here’s Rupert Everett at the Princess Anne Theatre in London for the preview screening of his documentary for Channel 4, ‘The Scandalous Adventures of Lord Byron.’ Images thanks to WENN.com .