Hilary Duff gave birth to her daughter, Banks, six months ago. Hilary stars on the show Younger and is currently filming the next season. Tuesday, Hilary announced on Instagram that due to her heavy workload, she’s done breastfeeding Banks. Her decision stemmed mostly from her depleted milk supply but also trying to fit pumping into her work schedule. It exhausted me to just read how efforts to continue breastfeeding, I can’t imagine the toll it’s taken on Hilary. Unfortunately, the toll was not just physical, it was also emotional and had Hilary feeling like a failure.
Here’s the caption:
THIS ONE’S FOR THE LADIES Just a few thoughts that I wanted to share on Breast-feeding. Last week was my last week nursing Banks (my six month old) I am a working mom of two. My goal was to get my little girl to six months and then decide if I (and her of course) wanted to keep going. Let me tell you. Pumping at work sucks. I had zero down time and am usually pumping in a hair and make up trailer while four hands work to get me ready for the next scene with lots of other people around. Even if I had the luxury to be in my own room, it’s not even considered a “break” because you have to sit upright for the milk to flow into the bottles! Plus you are having your damn nipples tugged at by an aggressive machine that makes an annoying sound, that echoes through your head day and night (I swear that machine and I had many conversations at midnight and 3 am)! Ttttthen having to find someplace to sterilize bottles and keep your milk cold (ok I’m done with that rant lol)! Anyway, I didn’t know this because with Luca I didn’t work until he was about nine months old, so I didn’t pump very often. Your milk supply drastically drops when you stop feeding as often and lose the actual contact and connection with your baby (😞). So I was eating all the feunugreek goats butt blessed thistle fennel cookies/drops/shakes/pills I could get my hands on! It was maddening. (Does fenugreek make anyone else smell like maple syrup and rubber gloves?…not chill) With all of this complaining, I want to say I enjoyed (almost) every moment of feeding my daughter. Felt so lucky to be so close to her and give her that start. I know many women are not able to and for that I am sympathetic and very grateful that I could. For six wonderful months. But I needed a break. I was going to break. With the stress of a dropping milk supply and a baby that was getting bored or not caring about nursing when I was available to. I was sad and frustrated and feeling like a failure all of the time. When really I’m a bad ass rock star. Moms get high on feeling like superwoman…because we are! Doing too much, because we can! KEEP READING in the comments below 👇🏼♥️
She added to her thoughts in the comments with:
Those chemicals are powerful hormones and no joke. I am happy to say that I haven’t fed or pumped in three days and it’s crazy how fast you can come out on the other side. I feel fine and happy and relieved and silly that I even stressed on it so hard
I have said more than once here; I did not enjoy breastfeeding. Physically I was able to do it without incident. I disliked doing it. I don’t ever remember a high from breastfeeding so my hormones must have been whacked. I didn’t feel like a superwoman of a nourisher-of life-goddess, I felt dirty all the time and psychologically it felt like the life was being sucked out of me. Like Hilary, I gave myself a tentative deadline of nine months to breastfeed and would reevaluate how we all felt about it at that time. I didn’t make it either time. Both my kids cut their teeth early. I tried yanking them off the nipple when they bit to train them but when they didn’t respond to that, my doctor said they might be too young for that to be effective. So my son got four months and my daughter got six. Unlike Hilary, I did not struggle with the decision at all, I was so relieved. I am not anti-breastfeeding, please don’t read this that way. I’m saying this only so if one of you is feeling the same, maybe this will make you feel less guilty. We all have different experiences. I wished I’d liked breastfeeding more and I love hearing stories from those who did. But some struggle with it and some can’t do it. Do what’s best for you and your family and I am almost certain your doctor would agree with me.
I looked through the comments and Hilary received many supportive words but, of course, she also got shamed for stopping as well as shamed for “showing” the act of breastfeeding in a public forum. I’m sorry that this was such a painful decision for Hilary. I hope she is finding her peace with it. Moms need to pay attention to themselves as well as the baby, be it physically or mentally.
To end on an up beat, let’s revel in some pics of baby Banks – look at this wubbums!
Photo credit: WENN Photos and Instagram
ugh I had a whole long post and it got eaten.
But basically, I BFed two babies, and for my second one I enjoyed it, and for my first I never really got on board with it (but I BFed him until he was 15 months old.) My first got formula as a supplement, my second didn’t.
Despite a better experience with my second, I still didn’t love BFing, and that’s okay. Some women do, and that’s okay too. I’m glad that celebs like Hillary are talking about how hard it can be and how stressful.
I loved the “idea” of breastfeeding my boy (and the time together), but wow, it sucked (no pun intended) at first. My nipples literally cracked and bled; he was miserable cause he wasn’t getting enough milk; feeding him (through cracked, painful nipples) every hour or so was torture. But, once we made it through that hump (at about 6 weeks), it was smooth sailing and I came to enjoy spending that time with him.
Thank you ByTheSea! I was shamed and told that I had to be doing it wrong when my breasts cracked and bled from breast feeding. When I finally went back to the dr. for baby’s checkup at 6 weeks the doc said he was losing weight and I needed to try bottle feeding. I broke down and told him about the shaming and my nurse telling me I was doing it wrong and he got a bit peeved. He said some women just do not produce enough milk for a growing infant and the point of breastfeeding a baby was for mom and child to bond. (it was very important for me and my son due to complications of his birth I was in a coma for 3 days after he was born and didn’t get to be the first to hold and bond with him.) If your breasts are cracking and bleeding and every time your child cries for food you start crying from the stress of it all than you are not bonding. Plus, if the baby is not getting enough milk and wants to suck constantly which only compounds the problem than give that baby some formula. I did, and my son started gaining weight and growing and we bonded just fine. To each their own I say.
Maybe I was naive, but breastfeeding was so hard. I was induced for my BP so my body was out of whack to begin with and then it hurt, I wasn’t producing and it was stressful. I still melted down when the pediatrician told me to supplement, went to the lactation specialist, beat myself up over it. I had a hungry baby I physically couldn’t feed, so for me formula was a godsend and allowed me to relax, knowing my daughter was getting enough to eat. I stopped bresstfeeding as soon as I went back to work at 3 months. I’m glad I tried but I’d never judge someone for having a hard time with it or not wanting to.
Same here including the amount of time breastfeeding. It was not a pleasant experience and I still feel waves of guilt wash over me whenever I think about it. Although I know it’s completely and utterly moronic to feel that way.
I loved it, and hated it. I pumped at work as a physician, and it sucked. But snuggling and nursing was great. The breast abscess sucked. And I think it was my guilt that kept me going a full year, because I did work.
But FED IS BEST, and there is some great formula out there, so moms should do what works for them and their babies, and not feel bad about it either way. No guilt. No shame. (Unless you decide not to vax your kids, in which case I will guilt and shame you until
The ends of the earth.)
I breastfed both of mine for a bit over a year each, while introducing solids at around 6 months. Loved it, not bc of any highs or sentimental reasons, it was just so damn convenient. No bottles to prepare or clean, no stuff to carry around, nighttime feeding meant latch on and continue drowsing.
But pumping sucks, never worked for me. So if you have to be away or at work, I get why she quit. I stayed at home the first year (Germany here and 12 months of paid maternity leave).
Agree! I like breastfeeding mainly for the convenience but hate pumping. I pumped a bit for my daughter but will not be doing it for my son. If I had to return to work early I would give up breastfeeding for sure.
Pumping at work is so difficult, even if you have a normally accommodating boss. I have several conferences to go to this summer and the planning to pump part is so stressful. One conference the planners told me there were four moms pumping at the conference and only one lactation room. Then they wiped their hands of it and said “hope it works out!” All the breaks are at the same time, so I imagine all four of us are going to be trying to be in that one room.
Yep! I love the snuggles and stuff that come with it too obviously but it’s nice to just clip my shirt down and be good to go for the baby lol
I’m currently BFing number two (literally, we’re laying in bed while he has breakfast lol) and went 15 months with my first. I’m lucky, I’ve had great experiences both times and have the ability to be home with my kids full time. I just wish there wasn’t so much pressure on women to do it in the first place, it can be a brutal and painful experience. Moms matter in the situation too, I wish people would remember that.
I don’t get the need to make an announcement on Twitter to what really amounts to a personal decision. I know woman can draw support but it also invites an equal amount of criticism. I think oversharing in parenting decisions has resulted in the Mommy brigade feeling entitled and empowered to publicly trash any choices that conflict with theirs.
I think one of the reasons people announce this sort of thing is because people assume and speculate that a mother doesn’t want what’s “best” for her child by forgoing the breast. Formula is a dirty word to a lot of mommy-shamers these days. So Hil is trying to say, “Look, I tried. I couldn’t make it work. Don’t @ me.”
It’s frustrating that she even felt the need to explain to people who get zero input on how her kid is raised, but she was probably trying to get ahead of any negativity or mean comments.
I am very pro-breastfeeding but I think we have alternative options for women who can’t, are unable, or don’t want to nurse, and we need to be okay with letting women choose what works for them. The way I see it, if the child is not malnourished or mistreated, how it’s fed is no business of mine.
I am 39 years old, pregnant and due in 06/2019 with my first child. I have zero intention of breastfeeding and don’t feel the least bit guilty. I think this is such a non-issue that keeps surfacing. Women need to stop feeling guilty for decisions they are making as mothers. Talk to your partner, your medical providers, do the reading, and make decisions that you feel good about. If you want to breastfeed until your child decides to wean.. that is great! If you want to formula feed from day one… that is great! Love your babies and love yourself. Everyone and every family is different.
Welllllllll i disagree with some of that but obviously won’t change your mind so whatever……… enjoy!
@Lex, and why do you disagree? It is such a rude comment.
Why should she change her mind?
Honestly, lot of people that struggled with PPD and shitshow BF wish they could go back, say fuck it and go with formula on day 1. Who care if you disagree.
But let me guess vaccinations will be a no brainer? I don’t get why you wouldn’t even give it a go when it’s one of the best ways to prevent infectious disease and provides antibodies. If you are unable to produce enough or can’t for medical reasons etc it’s different but assuming you are perfectly capable why wouldn’t you try even just for the first few days so bub can receive the colostrum?!
Because I didn’t want to….take your judgment somewhere else.
i get it. I have two amazing sons and I went in with zero intention of breastfeeding. I didn’t want to, their Dad didn’t care either way and we made a decision that worked for us.
They are both healthy, productive adults.
Do you!
Ditto al! I have two kids and didn’t breastfeed either one of them. Tried for a few days with my first, my milk never came in. The kid was literally starving. Looking back, the amount of shame and guilt that “specialists” and other mothers heaped on me was outrageous. With my second, it was bottle feeding right from the get-go. I had zero guilt, zero shame and a more blissful start to her first days. Both my kids are healthy, happy teenagers and funnily enough, rarely sick. My youngest was 5 years old before she ever took antibiotics for one random ear infection. I think all told they have missed only a handful of days of school for illness in over a decade. So moms – do what is best for YOU and your family. It’s no one else’s business and they have zero right to an opinion.
Best of luck with your baby, al! I hope you have a healthy delivery and enjoy your new baby 🙂
Same here, no intention of breastfeeding, Dad was fine with it. 10 years later and he’s happy and healthy. I did get some comments with the first, the second, I refused to hear other opinions because I wasn’t going to be shamed. FED is best.
It’s a non-issue in the world. I think it’s just a thing the same 20 people on the internet like to argue about and then the media likes to blow it out of proportion.
Blame the baby! I am kidding of course. But for me it was completely different with my two babies.
My son was a dream to breastfeed. Easy, on a schedule, gentle, satisfied when he was done, painless, calm. It was perfect and I did nothing to make it so. I nursed him 11 months and he weaned himself! It was a wonderful bonding thing for us.
With my daughter it was horrible. It was painful, she was rough and agitated and crazy, never satisfied, wanted to nurse almost at all times, there were all kinds of issues and even though I nursed her for 7 months I can barely remember any calm and sweet moments breastfeeding her. It actually stood in the way of our bonding! I felt like a complete failure and I didn’t understand why I was failing her when I had been able to do it so well with my son.
It took me a little while but I got over it, accepted it, and ended up bonding with her very very well after she was weaned.
Hilary is brave for sharing because people are out to JUDGE on this matter. But honestly, mothers who breastfeed easily are just lucky. I didn’t do anything “right” with my son or “wrong” with my daughter. It’s a roll of the dice whether you will get a baby who is easy to feed or not, whether your own body will bring milk in and all that or not.
It’s sad she had to explain herself, but here we are because of mommy nazis. I hate it how women judge each other, especially about such a personal and subjective experience and decision. I love how diverse our posters are. In the end you have to do what’s right for your family alone and without guilt! I hated walking around like a cow, udders at the ready, but it was so cheap and the little buggers wanted my bewbs 24/7. It was exhausting, messy, smelly and, at times, painful. And pumping does hurt. Those machines have no mercy. I can’t imagine moms with multiples. Every mom deserves a medal for making decisions, sticking with those decisions and moving on to greener pastures, pun intended. Go moms!
I fully intended to breastfeed my daughter but it didn’t work out. My milk didn’t come in, possibly from having a c-section. Then I pumped to try and force it, I was shamed for not trying hard enough in the hospital. I hated the lactation consultant there. My nipples- I shit you not- grew a LOT during my pregnancy and my daughter could barely fit her mouth around them. I’m a private person so having a nurse in there trying to shove my daughter onto my breast- after she apparently had a smoke break- had me teetering on the edge. Throw in panic attacks, PPD and a malfunctioning call button and I was just done. Plus I had quit my job to be a SAHM and the price of formula had me freaking out, sleep deprivation..ugh. I get stabby when I hear people get preachy about breastfeeding. You really don’t know what everyone is going through.
FED IS BEST. I don’t get why other people care how someone else’s baby is fed.
The fact is… if you give up on breastfeeding, you get so much shame. It is pretty awful.
I had a terrible birth experience (both baby and I nearly died). Baby was in NICU. I had trouble with the aftermath of the general anesthesia for an emergency C-section (epidural did not work on me, fun fact). But, nursing went well in the hospital. It turned into a shitshow when baby started needed more and more milk, and was not able to get it with his tongue-tied, even when the tongue-tied was removed. He was sucking 22 hours a day. I stopped eating, I stopped sleeping and I was a crying mess with a massive post-partum depression.
Yet… I was told to carry on. That it would get better.
It never did. Switching to formula and combo feeding was a game changer. Everyone was way happier, and guess what… HEALTHIER.
Yet, in post-partum activity class, I was shamed by a lot of mum : oh, you bottle fed. BF is better. You did not try enough, blablabla. Even had a nurse told me that I should get up to pump at night would be better for my son. (Son started sleeping 11 hours at night at 12 weeks. There was no fucking way I would wake-up to pump during the needed sleep time). Apparently, I was a selfish cow.
Fuck those entitled persons, seriously, and fed is best.
ITA Fed is best! People love to rally against anyone interfering with their choices as a parent ( and rightfully so) but sure do love telling other people how their different parenting choices are wrong. It’s maddening.
Every situation is different and you make the choices that work best for yours!
I honestly didn’t really start to bond with my son until I stopped trying to bf him. My milk supply sucked and he was losing weight so i spent so much time feeding, then attached to the pump to try to encourage my milk supply and then it would be time to feed again. I got mastitis, my nipples bled, I cried at my failure. And yes fenugreek does make you smell like syrup. Finally, after he’d lost a full lb off his birth weight the pediatrician told me to supplement with formula. I have never felt such relief in my life as when I handed that baby to my husband to feed and then I took the most glorious nap. At that point is when real bonding with my baby started.
Yeah! F ‘em! I am so with you.
I had low milk supply and apparently also weirdly shaped nipples (which the lactation consultant informed me of in the most tactless way)
I “breast fed” for several painful weeks with each child but I honestly don’t think they ever got more than an ounce at each sitting
It was a bloody (literally) nightmare and formula was so much better
One of my biggest regrets is all the time I wasted stressing and feeling like a failure over breastfeeding. I don’t have enough milk glands and I can’t produce enough. No one could give me any answer except “try harder” as I was already giving it my all and taking supplements.
Thanks to google I finally know why my supply was low. While the money I’m gonna spend on formula sucks, my kids are happy and healthy and that’s all that matters.
No judgment and to each their own. I’m glad most of the comments were supportive, I will never understand the sanctimoms shaming everyone for not doing things exactly as they do, they need to get a fkng life outside of their children, or get laid.
Personally I loved breastfeeding and miss that feeling of my milk letting down and the relief I felt when I nursed my sweet girl. I’ll still have dreams about it and a few times my boobs have actually leaked! It’s been 11 years, lol. I had to stop nursing around 6 months because my daughter had colic and I was on the verge of killing myself since I was a single parent. I tried everything but nothing helped, so her dr suggested a specific formula, which took 6 weeks for her to finally a bottle but the day she did she slept 14 hours straight, I cried and knew I was done with breastfeeding! Something was wrong with my milk or it didn’t agree with her I guess:(
My twins were born early and i pumped for 6 months. Hated everything about it. I felt like a cow. Hated that I couldn’t go out and enjoy a dinner without wondering about pumping. It felt like a chore. Tried breastfeeding and although my son latched right away, I realized between breast feeding and weening off the pump I would never sleep. I was running on one hour of sleep at a time already. I was told my milk would come in by day four but by day 2 i was engorged and in pain. And thank god for formula! Although I was like a cow and pumping a ton of milk formula is the reason why my kids were able to leave the NICU early bc it helped them gain weight. My breastmilk alone wasn’t enough. The combo got them home so much earlier than even doctors had estimated.
Moms need to just do what is best for them. If you want to breastfeed, do it. If you don’t, don’t. A fed baby is the best.
pumping is literally the worst thing on earth. it made me insane. i would get so angry and irritated while pumping and sometimes i would just cry. once my supply tanked and i would have to pump like 5 times a day to get 4oz – i would take off the pump and throw it and like roar scream. it was like i got a crazy hormone rush but no happy endorphins when the baby wasn’t involved. so – i made it 8 months. my kid let me off easy – i wasn’t producing enough for her and she wasn’t overly attached to nursing. she like snuggling with a bottle just as much. she voluntarily stopped the bottle at 13 months basically overnight. so – it all worked out. i feel like that is the moral of this whole nursing story. no matter what – it all works out so don’t torture yourself.
i actually stopped eating dairy for a while b/c i was like COWS HAVE TO LIVE LIKE THIS….but i needed sour cream after a few months…so i lost my sympathy and hit the cheese wheel like a house on fire.
Reading this while pumping…I too eventually went back to my first love, cheese 😛
My first struggled so hard with breastfeeding and we were both just so frustrated that we switched to formula around a month or so. (I really struggled with pumping. I tried and just couldn’t produce enough with each session. With my second, she caught on much quicker and made it to a year. Today, both kids are perfectly healthy and happy. I too felt like a failure with my first but seeing both of them fine today takes away a tiny bit of the previous guilt.
Loved her post. I bf without incident for 15 mo with my first and loved it. I pumped for 6 mo with my premature twins. I had to mix my milk in with formula anyway with the twins. I stopped at 6 mo b/c a)when the twins napped I was at a pump, not with my 3 1/2 yr old and b) my supply was weak from the beginning since they never actually bfed.
I’m happy they got the breast milk to start out, but wanted to throw a party when I finally returned the hospital grade pump.
Then it was on to mixing bottles for two babies. It’s amazing what the adult brain can handle.
I hated breastfeeding. Hated it. I pumped for 6 weeks on the first and then the supply dried up and I quit. I felt such relief! And guilt. For my second, we were moving and I didn’t even pump. And I still feel guilty! Every time she got a cold growing up, I would wonder if it was because of this. We put so much pressure on ourselves!
Question for American moms who can/choose/want to breastfeed – how do you ladies manage to do it for an extended period when you get such a short maternity leave? Worst in the industrialized world.
you torture yourself pumping after every feeding the whole time you’re off work to build a supply, making yourself to over product, get engorged and leak everywhere, choke your baby when they try to latch. then – you continue that torture when you have to pump at work between meetings in the closet they have prepared as a “lactation room” where at my work there were so many nursing moms you had to have a sign up sheet and wait in line at the door.
Good fucking gawd…
I’m so sorry. That sounds torturous!
We decided to be poor, and I became a 50s cliche lmao.
I still nurse my 22 month old when we wake up in the morning, and that’s it. She’s been breastfed exclusively, my husband tried to give her formula a handful of times so I could get some sleep at night at the very beginning, but she absolutely hated the formula and would refuse it once she was about 4 weeks old. I’m a stay at home mom so I figured I’d just keep on. Luckily, my nipples adjusted with minimal soreness and no cracking and breastfeeding was really easy (once my milk came in, because of my c section it took 6 days for my milk to come in). Even though breastfeeding came easily for us, I am so ready to be totally done with it. I’ve been slowly weaning for a couple months, and after the next week or two, I’ll be cutting the breakfast feed and will be done and I am so excited.
I also have a condition called dysphoric milk ejection reflex syndrome which means I feel the hormonal change during letdown to the EXTREME, which causes me to feel like I’m on the edge of a panic attack before every let down. Luckily as time went on, I felt it less and less. But for the first 12 months, I could feel a letdown coming because of a wave of extreme anxiety followed by the breast tingles, then came the milk. I had NEVER heard of this condition before it happened to me but after Googling it seems to happen to about 10% of breastfeeding mothers.
And to top it off, pumps couldn’t stimulate a letdown for me so I never had milk to put in a bottle for her dad or grandmas to feed her as she flat out refused formula. So I’ve really felt the limitations that breastfeeding puts on a mother’s life. As long as mom and baby are both happy and healthy, fed is best! Even “easy” breastfeeding has its difficulties that not every mother can accommodate in their lives and any naysayers just need to get a life.
Thank you very much, that is a really nice comment!
So, reading this made me cry. I also gave up the breastfeeding and pumping at work treadmill with my second baby (who just turned one) around 6 months. It was heartbreaking and the struggle with nursing this time around led to postpartum depression and the worst feeling of failure.
I nursed my first until he was 13 months and loved it and so I was shocked and miserable at how hard it was with my second. Just an endless set of problems, even with a lactation consultant making house calls and 4 months of paid maternity leave.
If I’m being honest I still feel so bad about it, despite rationally knowing that my little guy is thriving and growing and ahead on all milestones. It’s hard.
I can relate! My baby is not even two weeks old and I’m finding breastfeeding to be emotionally exhausting. I’m fully responsible for her growth, and meeting her emotional needs – baby often nurses for comfort as well as hunger. When she sees me she starts crying to eat whereas she’s more peaceful with my husband. My entire day revolves around 2 hour intervals. It’s challenging and rewarding when my baby passes out of me with a content look on her face and I know I’m giving her something no one else can. But I’ve already decided to stop at 6 months.
That’s exactly how I felt when I nursed my first for six months. Trapped in a prison because I couldn’t leave and be by myself for more then a couple of hours. She was calmer with my husband too and she has congenital brain issues so in her first six months we were also at the hospital and doctors offices all the time and I was not comfortable just openly feeding and always had cover myself which can be a pain. I just felt super pressured and because of her issues I felt like I needed to do the best which was obviously nursing right?? My second was an emergency c section and he was in the NICU for 16 days and because of my oldest I wasn’t able to go nurse him all the time so I pumped and it sucked. I tried nursing when he got home but he wasn’t having it. Pumping is the worst but I pumped enough to get him through six months and it was just so much easier to be able to have someone else feed him and help in that way.
When my twins came I thought I would be super mom and try and nurse them with a special needs daughter and my 2yo son hahahahaha! I still had left over feelings from not nursing my son. I felt so guilty when it didn’t work out and I actually tried to restart a week or so after I stopped, that’s how guilty people and I made myself feel. So many factors contributed besides my older two. My girl twins latch was super shallow and it was like razor blades every single time and I cried every single time, your nipples don’t get a break when you nurse twins, a tree fell on our house literally two days after we brought them home and had to move out. Even after all that I felt guilty and it’s not something you can just say, oh I’m not going to feel bad about this. Maybe some people can do that and good for them but I can’t just turn my feelings off and tell myself to feel a certain way.
I nursed my daughter for 2.5 years. You think women are judged for not breastfeeding? Ha. The “how long are you going to DO that?” I got from people was just as judgy. The judgy judgments seem to be flung at mothers no matter what. Offer a meal, a free night of babysitting, a shoulder to cry on, a spa day…
Just don’t offer your opinion, unless asked.
I was one of those that struggled with breastfeeding. I thought it was rough with my son because I had low supply. I took all the supplements. When I went back to work I would pump all breaks and do a power hour pump every day for lunch. And get less than a bottle. For the whole day. I’d hoped the low supply was because I’d had an emergency c section at 36 weeks and then had lots of post complications. Nope. I mean could have played in. But with my daughter I again had an emergency c at 36 when the placenta started to abrupt. She never figured out latching. So I pumped. And pumped. My husband was away at fire academy so caring for a newborn and a 4 year old and pumping. All hours of the day. Then around month 3 I developed breastfeeding anxiety and aversion. At let down I would feel like there were creepy crawlers under my skin and I had to force myself not to rip the damn flanges off. And still the guilt kept me going. I made it another two months like that before I’d once again pumped to the point of bleeding trying to get a damn bottle and decided enough was enough. I still feel guilty some days. And I’m a healthy, fairly smart adult who was only formula fed because my mom didn’t want to breastfeed and has no regrets on that decision. Mom guilt is a bitch.
I nursed and pumped at work with all 3 of my kids for 7 months, 8 months and 12 months. It was tough. As soon as I went back to work, my supply dropped so I tried fenugreek (yes, maple syrup smell all the time), Mother’s milk tea, oatmeal, even reglan with my first. By the end with each, I was pumping 3 times at work and only coming home with 3 oz. for the whole day. Fed is best. And breastfeeding and pumping can be exhausting and upsetting when it doesn’t work. And I hate that trolls gave her a hard time for quitting and others for her nursing pic. I wish Twitter wasn’t anonymous.
Good for Hilary for sharing this. It can be a hard hard thing and there is so much shame-laden judgy-ness abounding, everyone’s path is different with this.
I haven’t read the above comments so I don’t know if this was mentioned already but I saw in her instagram today that she and her boyfriend are now engaged.
I literally almost killed myself trying to breast feed both my kids. Milk never came in either time. Tried every single thing in the history of ‘this helps’ and nothing helped. I was depressed, anxious, shamed, and humiliated because it’s ‘easy’ for some and they couldn’t understand why I wasn’t trying harder. AHHHH! Breastfeeding was literally one of the worst experiences of my life. Also, like to add, my kids are never sick, healthy and very smart. My bond with them is incredible. You don’t have to breastfeed to be a good mom or have healthy, smart children. Anyone who tries to make you feel less than, you should kick out of your life immediately with no second thought. Fed is best.
I nursed my oldest for almost 4 years. Through my second pregnancy and then I fed two for a year. I loved it and it felt really empowering to see my kids growing on food I was creating with my own body. But I was a stay at home mom with easy kids. I got enough sleep, and didn’t worry about keeping an immaculate house. I know some women don’t love it, feel stressed, want to go back to work. Whatever. And those are all valid reasons to stop. As long your baby is fed and you both are happy that is the best thing for everyone.
My son will be 10 weeks old in 2 days. I always thought I might have a problem breastfeeding just because my mother was unable to BF my brother and I.
My son had a great latch and got his colostrum but on day 4 or 5 he was starving. My milk never came in. We had to supplement with formula. I tried BF’ing and pumping for a few days but it just didn’t work. The pump made me feel like a cow and I only ever got the tiniest amounts. I gave up in his second week of life and breathed a sigh of relief. My brother and I were formula fed and are perfectly healthy so I had no qualms about that – except for the price of formula!
I breast fed each of my 2 kids for 2 yrs. I didnt plan it, it just worked out that way. I received many a snide comment about breastfeeding for that long etc. I don’t understand why or how moms have the energy to judge how another mom chooses to go about it. Breast feed or don’t – who cares!! I’m m having a hard time sympathizing w Hillary Duff’’s working mom woes….join the club sis
I have a LO that didn’t latch well at the beginning (and still now only nurses on occasion) so we used formula for a few weeks. I was so depressed that I couldn’t get the breastfeeding to work reliably (despite 2 lactation consultants) that I had to see a therapist. Honestly, I would probably would have given up breast pumping many times over if it had not been for my extremely supportive husband. When it works, I really enjoy the act of breastfeeding, the snuggling and closeness. But I would have been a total basketcase if I couldn’t eventually go back to work.