It turns out that Star Magazine and The National Enquirer were at least partially right about Lohan extending her rehab stay, because her mother is denying reports that she is set to be released back into the wild this weekend. We can all breathe a sigh of relief for Lohan and for ourselves. We have the gossip section of our brains already chock full with the unsettling minutiae of Britney’s everyday life, we don’t need to know every time Lohan takes a shit too:

Despite reports to the contrary, it appears Lindsay Lohan will not be leaving her Utah rehab facility this weekend.

When Access Hollywood’s Billy Bush e-mailed Lindsay’s mom, Dina, to find out if the reports of Lindsay coming home this weekend were accurate, Dina said that wasn’t the case.

“Not true staying in Utah,” Dina wrote to Billy.

Lindsay checked into the Cirque Lodge in early August, marking her third stint in rehab after previous visits to the Wonderland and Promises facilities in Los Angeles.

Dina, Lindsay’s siblings Cody and Ali and her father Michael have all paid visits to Lindsay since she began her stay.

[From Access Hollywood]

And there’s a new advertising campaign by an addiction treatment facility that’s trying to capitalize on Lindsay Lohan’s well publicized drug treatment issues. The attention-grabbing ads feature big block letters saying “Don’t Die Lindsay!” and include information about a supposed medical treatment alternative to extended rehab stays. The Canterbury Institute offers outpatient treatment for addiction, and claims in the ads to provide “innovative medical approaches” that allow patients to be in and out with their drug problems licked in just a few days:

While the rest of the world is going in and out of rehab, Canterbury Institute is changing the rules of addiction treatment. We’re offering innovative medical approaches to drug and alcohol addiction. It’s outpatient and administered by an ASAM-certified physician. All you need is 3-5 days to get back on track.

Someone from the ad agency who created this campaign e-mailed me the press release that this ad would run in the NY post, including PDF files and images so I could run it on the site, not that I don’t appreciate that. I guess because they’re not using Lindsay’s last name they figure they can’t get sued, but I wouldn’t count on it. You know Dina is going to try and squeeze something out of them. Lohan is said to go around asking people she barely knows for $10k all the time, if someone is using her name in an ad she’s probably going to try and make them pony up something. It’s called a violation of the “right to privacy” if celebrities’ names or likenesses are used in ads without their consent. I’m not sure how the law applies if a celebrity’s last name is not mentioned, if they are known by both names like Lohan.

If this treatment really works I hope that the celebrities don’t catch on to it. That would mean no more extended breaks from news about their antics when they get sent away for months at a stretch. Then again, it can only save lives if less drunken starlets are on the road with hoards of paparazzi trailing after them. That’s more important than not having to read unrelenting trivial gossip about these girls for months on end. Of course it is.

Update: I missed this story that Steve-O from Jackass told Howard Stern that Lohan once stole a bag of cocaine from him. If he had anything else worthwhile she surely would have nabbed that too.

Header image thanks to Pretty On The Outside.