Kourtney Kardashian covers the latest digital issue of Paper Magazine, but she’s not promoting the family’s reality show. No, at long last, Kourtney has her own “thing” to promote, and that’s the Goop knock-off Poosh, a lifestyle/e-commerce site named after her daughter Penelope (apparently Penelope’s nickname is Poosh??). Kourtney is, to me, not just the most boring Kardashian-Jenner, but arguably one of the most boring celebrities around. She can’t even really fake enthusiasm for Poosh – it’s almost like she’s going through the motions of discussing it with a slight wink, like she’s just seeing if people will buy whatever she’s half-heartedly selling. You can read the full Paper interview here. Some highlights:

On her participation on KUWTK: “I just didn’t really think about it. I never thought it was going to become this thing, but everything just happened so quickly from when we shot the sizzle reel or whatever. It got green lit straight away.”

On Poosh: “It really felt like there was a space missing that didn’t feel welcoming, and non-judgmental. More like a conversation.”

She’s more inspired by tastemaker Jenni Kane than Gwyneth Paltrow: “Even a pair of scissors, she’ll have the best scissors you can buy,” Kourtney says. Scissors! Also pillows (“tonal textiles”), coffee table books, Italian leather shoes, and ceramic pet bowls. “How I feel is this. You have one life, so I want to have the best. I want to have the best sponge, the best broom. Things in my house that you wouldn’t even think about. I feel like I’m constantly asked, ‘How do you do this? What’s that salad you guys are eating on your show?’ It’s nice to share it with people and have that space to do so.”

Her relationship with ex Scott Disick & his girlfriend Sofia Richie: “[It’s] probably the thing I’m most proud of.” The three of them recently made headlines for vacationing together with the kids in tow: “I don’t think we’ll go on every trip together, but I love that I’m invited.”

Having her own thing: “I’m happy that I didn’t let them push me into what was the right timing for them. Maybe a couple years back, I almost started a couple different things because I felt like everyone was pushing me.” One discarded project included “something with interiors.” It just wasn’t right. “I feel like this is my thing. And I’m happy.”

On the future of Poosh: “This is something I can make for my kids to be proud of. It’s named after my daughter, and it’s hopefully something that can be hers someday.”

She dreams of moving away: “I always say I want to move away someday and just be away from it all… Sail away. No one will ever see me again.” Where would she live? “I keep throwing up different places, but then I’ll go there to visit and I’ll be like, ‘Nope, this isn’t it, but glad I came.’ We’ve just been to Finland. And I was like, ‘Check, it’s great for me to visit, but I’m not going to move there.’ Maybe Norway. Switzerland? I’ve got a lot of ideas. I would be very happy…I would be very happy.”

[From Paper]

I mean… she should just move away and start a new life away from the cameras. I know she’s got a contract with E! and her mom is her manager and all of that, but she could be honest with her mom and negotiate her way out of that sh-t and then just move away and start a new life away from the reality show stuff. She would be happier. And honestly, she’s not bringing anything to the table within the reality show – the other sisters would probably have more sh-t to do and say if Kourtney wasn’t around. As for Poosh… I think it will fold within 12 to 16 months? Remember Blake Lively’s Preserve? That’s what will happen here – there’s not enough true content, nor is she offering stuff in her commerce section that couldn’t be found a million other places.

Photos courtesy of Backgrid and WENN, cover courtesy of Paper.