I loved Glamour’s cover interview with Mindy Kaling, but it also made me sad. Sad because… she’s underappreciated and she works so hard and does so much. She’s one of Glamour’s women of the year, and the bulk of the interview is about how she works, her work ethic, and how being the daughter of two immigrants has basically affected how she views the world. It’s an excellent read – go here for the full piece. Some highlights:
Whether she has time to sleep: “So the great thing about when I had a baby is that I don’t have a lot of horror stories about lack of sleep because I was already used to it from doing The Mindy Project, getting up between 5:00 a.m. and 5:30 a.m. I go to sleep earlier now because I’m not acting and then staying in the writers room after. When I was doing The Mindy Project…I’d get by on four hours of sleep, five days in a row, if I had to…So now I get six or seven hours of sleep, and that feels good. When I was a teenager, I could sleep for 11 hours, easily. And then something about turning 35—I can’t sleep as much anymore. That’s how my dad is too. He gets up at 4 a.m. and just putters around his house until my stepmom wakes up. I think I’m headed in the direction of my dad.”
She has a little social anxiety: “People may be surprised to hear this, but I think I do have a little social anxiety. Going to parties where I don’t know most of the people is stressful to me. I’ve always had four friends. I’ve always felt, not exactly a loner, but…[for example,] I love the Met Gala, but the no-plus-one thing has always been a real stressor for me.”
Whether she misses her early days as a writer on The Office: “Yes. When you’re starting out, mostly it’s terrifying because you think you could get fired and then never get hired again. If you see some of the statistics for women of color on writing staffs, you’ll see that even if there’s parity, it’s so hard to get promoted and stay on a show. A whopping majority of upper-level writers are still white men. You see a lot of people of color in the younger ranks, but it’s hard to move up. I remember thinking, This could all go away—save your money. I don’t envy that fear, but I do miss that certain kind of camaraderie you have when you can complain about the boss. It’s what bonds everyone together.”
Being ambitious, being a “workaholic”: “I think the stigma with hard work is that it’s often at the expense of people thinking you’re an artist. I resent when the characterization of me is that “she’s only gotten this far from hard work”—the implication being that if you’re truly talented, you don’t have to work so hard. That’s not true. I think there’s been a tendency for people to conflate my characters with my personality. The fact of the matter is, I wrote 24 episodes of The Office. That’s more than any other person on The Office, but no one can really picture me sitting and doing the hard work of writing the episodes. It’s like it doesn’t compute to people because I can wear all pink and re-create Beyoncé videos. Do you know what I mean? There’s an outdated version of what some people think of me because of the characters I’ve played. That isn’t consistent with who I actually am. I find that a little disappointing.”
Whether the work changes now that she’s almost 40: “How do I say this? Because I never had a career based on my physical beauty, I’m approaching aging without much dread. I was never the person who was, like, Mindy “The Body” Kaling. [Laughs.] Isn’t that Elle Macpherson’s nickname? The Body? It’s so much harder to control that as we age than our mind or creative ideas. As a young person in Hollywood, I wasn’t skinny, and that made my twenties so unnecessarily difficult. It was such an emotional roller coaster, sometimes, of how I looked onscreen compared with what other people looked like. Especially when you are a dark-skinned Indian woman who’s not even traditionally beautiful for Indian people, like the Bollywood stars who are fair with long hair and light green eyes or whatever…The upside of having that difficult time in my twenties is that now I approach my forties without this huge expectation that I need to maintain some sense of beauty. I was never put on a pedestal because of my looks. As far as the work, does it change what I want to write about?
On her parents: “For them, it’s not necessarily that they liked it; when you’re an immigrant and come to this country and want to have a nice life, you have to really hit it hard for the first 20 years that you’re here. Being in the entertainment industry is the exact same thing. You have this feeling, as a woman, that when you get into Hollywood as a writer and particularly as an actress you have a finite amount of time. You have to make your imprint and get your coin, frankly.
What she wants her legacy to be: “I guess I’ve always felt that I represent the underdog. At this time and this place, as an Indian woman and a single mom, I’ve felt like the kind of person who often does not get to be the lead of a story. I want the stories that I tell, the characters I play and create, to resonate with people who do not see themselves onscreen. When I’m gone and people look at my body of work, they can see it in the context of where I came from and where my family came from and say, “Wow, that was the beginning of a ripple effect.” That people are inspired because they felt that I, in some way, helped move the door open a couple more inches. That would be really incredible to me… Even if I die at 120 years old, I want people to say it was too soon because of what else I could have done. I think that’s why I work on five different projects at once. I have this real feeling that life is incredibly short, and I want to do as much as I can.
I feel her on the sleep thing – I can be dead tired and my internal clock still gets me up at 5 am or earlier. And I like the comparison of her parents’ journey – immigrants in America – to her journey as a young actress and writer in Hollywood. But mostly, this piece was sad to me, like there’s a dark fate for her life and she’s trying to cram everything in. I’m also kind of upset because I really relate to her – awkward in large groups, slightly neurotic, likes to work, daughter of an immigrant, etc.
Cover courtesy of Glamour, additional photos courtesy of WENN.
I love Mindy Kaling and all her success is so hard earned, she deserves every minute of being in the spotlight. she’s been building to her success for a LONG time, always having to create her own opportunities (she talks about it in her books). she’s amazing
She’s got immigrant syndrome because she assimilated to the point that she’s allowed to forget it. Her daughter will fear better. Being immigrant, 1st and 2nd generation, is tough at times because you are always stuck between two world’s.
OMG yes this is said so well 🙂
LOVE her!
Just saw Late Night, really liked it. Mindy Kaling is one of those celebrities I always enjoy hearing from. The movie is not perfect but mostly from trying to put too much in, not because anything in it isn’t good. I know Emma Thompson is getting positive reviews, but I think her performance is actually underrated.
Same. Emma Thomson looked fabulous in the movie & her looks were fire.
I love her! Love her books. Her episodes of the Office are among my faves (the Injury is my go to for a reliable laugh). She’s so funny on screen too. I’m going to see Late Night tonight and can’t wait!
It was enjoyable but not Mindy-level funny. I’d love to hear what you think.
The Injury is my favorite episode and still makes me laugh. second is Beach Games.
I LOVE Mindy Kaling & Issa Rae. They are my absolute favorite women in Hollywood.
Shes amazing!
I think being the child of someone who died of pancreatic cancer’s had an effect on her, too. My grandfather had it, and it came out of NOWHERE, and he was dead two weeks after his diagnosis. My understanding is that his case is pretty typical. You find out you’ve got it, and it’s all over rather suddenly. I haven’t read much about her mom’s death, but I wouldn’t be surprised if she found out and had to say her good-byes quickly. That had to scare Mindy, seeing how you could go from thinking you were fine one day to a death sentence the next.
That’s what I’m picking up too. Her mother’s death from what I’ve read in her books was devastating.
She deserves all the awards! I still can’t get my sister to watch the Mindy Project because she’s one of the ones who says she doesn’t like looking at her. Something about her makes her uncomfortable. I mean… I can’t force her but this is what Mindy is fighting against.
Don’t bash me for saying this but I cannot complete any show she is in. I am happy for her success. But I can’t relate to her. I can’t look at Mindy either. It’s the work she did on her face. Also, when she acts she has this insecure vibe about her and this really Valley girl/Clueless kind of thing that she does with the weird 16 y.o girly voice that hurts my nerves and it confuses me that that voice comes from her. Because I expect her to be bold, confident, with a secure tone to her actions and voice. I don’t ever see an confident woman of migrant parents because I know so many of them and they are so different to Mindy. So instead of enjoying the film or her role, I just keep getting annoyed and confused as I try to unravel what on earth is happening with her.
I think so too. They were very close, and I think it’s been very hard for her. I didn’t realize her father had remarried. Hopefully they get along.
I like this interview, I relate to a lot of what she’s saying. I can imagine Hollywood has been hard on her looks, which I find crazy because I think she’s really beautiful, but more importantly she’s talented and hardworking. I’m looking forward to seeing her new movie.
❤️ her
I don’t think it’s sad. She comes across (as she usually does) as confident, driven, self-posessed, candid, and happy with her life. I always find her interviews so inspirational. I mean, she acknowledges some difficulties she’s faced but not in a sad way.
Her parents were immigrants, but doctors and she and her racist brother grew up in the richest town in Massachusetts (Weston) and she and her brother went to prep school. She’s laying it on a bit thick.
Where do you think she’s laying it on too thick? Trying to connect the dots here.
That does put a slightly different perspective on things–being rich I think would help the integration process; although I have read that doctors coming to this country sometimes have a hard time getting licensed & end up doing something else instead.
I was also confused by her stating she was resentful of people saying she only got where she was from hard work & that they didn’t recognize her talent, particularly since she went on to detail just how hard she has worked & continues to work. Isn’t recognition for your hard work a good thing?
Hard work is usually seen as a lack of talent she says. So people see her as a talentless person working harder than the others to get there.
That’s how I understood it.
Doctors who both worked at Massachusetts General Hospital.
Immigrant neighbors or neighbors of color in Weston would have tended to work for one of the major hospitals or universities or the Boston Celtics, the Boston Red Sox, and the New England Patriots.
She attended Buckingham, Brown & Nichols, then Dartmouth.
I’m not saying Mindy doesn’t face challenges in her life and in her occupation as a woman of color, I’m sure she does; but she had advantages in life that few have.
From what I’ve heard, her parents worked hard and long to integrate, yes she had advantages, but she’s certainly not someone who had generations of family wealth, she would have witnessed that graft.
At the end of the day, she is unique amongst actresses for having broken through, the only others of East Asian heritage are the former ‘miss world’-esque types, who don’t represent what most East Asian women look like
@ mumbles and light purple, Mindy’s mother was an ob/gyn, but her father was an architect. Mindy talks about how her parents had to work very hard as immigrants, and how her father commuted from Cambridge to New Haven for work. Her mother worked at St. Elizabeth’s Medical Center, and it is also where she passed.
As studies have shown, wealth is not a shield against bigotry.
https://www.npr.org/series/559149737/you-me-and-them-experiencing-discrimination-in-america
Thank you for this. Great read. I don’t understand why anyone here would try to dismiss Mindy or her parents as having it easy just because they or someone they know had or have a different struggle than the Kaling family did.
What you’re saying is unfair. Her struggles aren’t somehow negated because you personally have had or know others who’ve had a different struggle. Even if she grew up in “the richest town in MA,” she still had to face issues and difficulties in her life. Have you read her books? She’s a dark-skinned Indian woman who has spent her entire life dealing with criticism and expectations based upon that alone, so the idea that her life was a cake walk because she had money seems like picayune criticism. You’re also downplaying the fact that her parents had to work their asses off to get to their positions. They didn’t set foot in this country and have those jobs handed to them. Writing her off as “sure, she might’ve had some issues, but her parents were wealthy, so I don’t want to hear about her problems” is unnecessarily dismissive.
Anilhecim- this a 100 x. As a dark skinned East Asian woman her struggles to break into tv and film are real. Would she be in this starring role if she hadn’t written it herself- no. So kudos to her and her talent
I do not really like when people use this superwoman/supermother myth to get ahead. People really need more hours off work and more sleep, not less. This is pretty offensive to me. I am sure her nannies and personal help work harder than her.
If her projects were really interesting, it would be sucked up by all these platforms who are hungry for content?. Quality content is queen, right now.
You’re offended by how someone else lives their life? Sucks to be bitter about someone else’s success. What do you care if she doesn’t get much sleep? I didn’t see anything there implying that anyone who sleeps more is somehow less than. You must be projecting.
Just saw “Late Night” today. Loved it! I didn’t realize Mindy wrote it until after the movie when the film credits rolled. Go see it!
I loved it too! Saw it with my husband and best friend and we laughed out loud a bunch of times, and I don’t remember the last time I did that at a movie. The movie does a great job of combining sincerity with humor and Emma Thompson is amazing in the role. My husband’s go-to movies are super hero everything and he was talking about this movie the next day and how much he enjoyed it. Love her writing!