Carrie Underwood and her massive amount of (fake) hair cover this week’s People Magazine, the “100 reasons to love America” edition. I side-eye the line about loving America when everything seems so broken lately, but at least People isn’t trying to humanize the fascist first family like US Magazine. Plus they promise this issue will focus on Michelle Obama’s memoir too, which seems like a good way to handle it. Carrie opens up about her miscarriages, which she first talked about a few months ago. She suffered three losses in just two years before getting pregnant with her second baby, son Jacob, four months, and she also has son Isaiah, four, also with her husband, Mike Fisher.
“I put a lot of stress on myself — I feel like a lot of moms do, a lot of women do,” she says. But like the message in her go-to hit “Jesus, Take the Wheel,” she insists, “the best moments in my life are when I say, ‘Hey, I can’t control everything, and that’s okay. God is in control.’”
Last September, she revealed that she’d suffered through three miscarriages in less than two years. Despite knowing better, she says, “Of course you wonder if it’s you, what am I doing wrong, or what have I done wrong. I remember having conversations with Mike trying to make sense of it all.”
A devout Christian, Underwood says it was a heart-to-heart talk with God that came next. “I’ve always wanted to be a good daughter to my parents but also to God and not complain, because we are beyond blessed,” she says. “I get to do what I love, I have an incredible family. I have Mike, I have Isaiah, I have great parents. I have all of these amazing people around me, and I don’t want to complain, ever.”
She continues, “But the miscarriages made me get real with God and say, ‘Okay, I’m kind of giving up a little bit. If this isn’t meant to happen, then I need to accept that and know that someday I’ll understand why.’”
It wasn’t long after that the star says they received good news. “We heard that everything was okay and I was pregnant with Jacob,” she says. “He’s just this perfect little bundle of a smiley guy…”
Balancing a booming career and a growing family is a lot to handle, but Underwood says she’s up for the challenge now more than ever.
“There is a thing about motherhood that makes you feel like, ‘Okay, if I can do that, I can do anything,’” she says. “And I feel like I’m a little older, a little wiser. This isn’t my first rodeo.”
Carrie is on tour now, which seems absolutely crazy to me after she just had a baby. Women run marathons when their babies are a few months old so I’m sure Carrie can tour if she wants, it just seems punishing to me. I was so lucky not to have to go back to work the first year, I don’t know how other women handle it. As for what she said about not complaining, there’s a distinct difference between speaking out when you need help or when your needs are not being met and complaining. As women I feel like we’re expected to stay silent too often and act like everything is fine when it’s not.
People has another feature with Carrie in which she covers her favorite cities in America. They’re her hometown in Oklahoma, her current town, Nashville, Napa, Phoenix and Los Angeles.
Photos credit: WENN and Avalon.red
Three lost pregnancies is an intensely painful experience. I guess if this kind of religious drivel is what helped her through it than at least she had something to help her.
Is it really necessary to be disparaging of someone’s religious beliefs??
Yes?
Her religious beliefs are ,I think truly important to her .I don’t think she’s fake.I detest fake Christian people /hypocrites because I’m a Christian with liberal beliefs and I don’t say too much about it to people I don’t know.
Obviously Carrie is asked questions and she brings up her faith,because she truly thinks this way.
I have family who are the most fake Christian people you would ever come in contact with hypocrisyALL.THE.WAY.
And those types make Christian people look bad when they are not.
That’s a pretty nasty comment to make – I believe people have the right to practice their own religion in an atmosphere of respect. I don’t take part in any organized religion myself but I would NEVER disparage someone because of their belief in God (unless they’re a Scientologist or some other nutty cult…)
Sure religious beliefs are important. But why do we all have to not acknowledge when some religious statements/ sentiments sounds like meaningless drivel? Like “god has a plan” type stuff. I do believe I have respect for religions in general, as well as an awareness of the harm they cause. And I also know when I’m hearing statements that are cognitively dissonant nonsense. She chooses to talk a lot about her religious beliefs, to the press, and so I have an opinion about what I’m hearing from her.
Listen if a Buddhist popped up and said “Buddha has a plan”, I would say that’s drivel. I’m a Buddhist, but that doesn’t mean Buddhists can’t say things about Buddhism that are really nonsense.
You don’t sound very respectful at all. PS – I’m not a Christian and I was able to read her comments and not feel the need to write a nasty comment simply because I may not agree with something she said. Not every thought has to be shared.
Dissing someone’s religious beliefs from a platform of sanctimony and self-indulgent superiority is disrespectful. Period. I don’t go to church or believe in any set religion but I certainly respect someone’s right to be Anglican or Catholic or Muslim or Rosicrucian or Baha’i or Druze or Jewish or Buddhist, whatever. As long as they’re nice people that’s fine with me. I don’t know where your attitude comes from but it certainly doesn’t sound like a Buddhist belief, especially the eight-fold path of ‘right views, right resolve, right speech, right action, right livelihood, right effort, right mindfulness, and right concentration’. Nothing there talks about negating others’ religious beliefs.
Not really the time or the place for that statement. Very insensitive comment.
I didn’t read the article so maybe she did reference this, but I appreciate when celebs acknowledge/thank their nanny’s and other support team.
I lost two much wanted pregnancies (after years of infertility and IVF) in the span of a year and it almost broke me as a person. Even now that I have my son, it’s still hard to think about how low I felt then. I’m not a huge Carrie fan but I can’t hate on her sharing this because the more we normalize talking about miscarriage—especially the sheer horror of when you have them back to back—the better for all.
I had three in a row last year and I am now second trimester of my second child! In the infertility community, there is a sense of a “Pain Olympics” in which people who have never had a child want to exclude people who have. Pain is pain. A loss of a child is a loss. Everyone deserves the opportunity to tell their story and I am really glad Carrie is.
I hope others who have lost or are losing don’t feel like failures or alone out there.
Yep. I had 2 in a year between my first and second. My first is 4 and second is just a few weeks old. Feel like Carrie is my celeb doppelganger on this so I really loved her being open about how much she struggled with it. I’ve just been going back to try to finish a family photo album from the year of horribleness and It hit me how much I’m still not over it, even though I’m holding my newborn. I didn’t really expect that.
I also feel her on not wanting to complain. I think it’s just recognizing that every life has hardships and when you’ve been lucky in so many ways, it feels selfish to complain. No one has everything easy you know? It also helps to focus on being grateful for what you do have
Absolutely agree. One late miscarriage and then a scary, life-threatening ectopic (took a year to resolve) here. Hugs to you and all of us. It happens – and often.
@Kathleen well said. <3
I lost 8 pregnancies, including one late term loss, over the course of 3 years. I was fortunate enough to have three healthy children and my doctor could never really identify why I kept miscarrying. It was an incredibly painful period of my life and I found it difficult to find others to talk to about it. I did find an online support group which was moderately helpful but I did not have many women in my life at the time who had miscarried or who were willing to talk about it and my husband and I processed the grief very differently. I process pain through talking so I did see a therapist and I eventually became the person that people in my life would refer their friends to when they had a pregnancy loss … I ended up talking to women all over the country just to provide a listening ear and some support.
I always appreciate when celebrities discuss their miscarriages because it normalizes fertility issues and I think it encourages people to be more open about their own pregnancy losses. I went through this about 15 years ago and I think there has been a real shift since then in women’s willingness to share their own stories, perhaps thanks in part to stories like these. Kudos to Carrie for her openness around a difficult issue.
I’m so sorry for your losses. Wishing you and your family the very best!
I always say to each their own when it comes to religion, and if it helps you be a better person go for it, but what I don’t understand is why people say they don’t deserve the life they have. Like they aren’t worthy and they can’t complain, of course you can! You deserve all the things, and it’s ok to complain, especially about 3 miscarriages for crying out loud.
I dont see anywhere in her comments where she stated she didn’t deserve what she has. And I think her stating that she didn’t want to complain is that she wanted to look at all the blessings in her life from a place of gratitude. Whether you are religious or not that is always a great way to look at things. And you can do that while also acknowledging your loss or pain.
My mother was diagnosed with dementia last year. We had to hospitalize her. It was hands down the worst time of my life. But she is also still alive. She is cognizable enough for me to talk to her and laugh and even though she isn’t the exact same person she is still my mother and a lot of people don’t have their mothers around at all anymore. That is choosing to look at a situation through a lens of gratitude. I’m not disavowing my own pain – believe me. This past year sent me to therapy which has been amazing. But that’s also where I feel like the blessings i my life have been reaffirmed.
I dislike the idea that just because we complain or mourn or have any kind of sadness about something that goes bad in our lives that we aren’t grateful for what we have. 3 miscarriages- complain all you need. Shake your fist at the sky. Let yourself process your emotions.
Yeah I think she as a celebrity is probably acutely aware of SOUNDING ungrateful if she complains or mourns publicly. There’s always a-hole commenters ready to pounce on any complaint and call a celebrity ungrateful. Or people who are struggling with having their first child and want to police someone who has experienced secondary infertility saying they should be grateful they even have one child. Etc. Etc. She’s probably trying to cut that off at the head.
+2. It’s a shame that such qualifiers even feel necessary.
Her legs are incredible! You can tell girlfriend isn’t afraid of some squats.
I had a miscarriage three weeks ago, I’m still processing it and right now I’m not ok. Hearing Carrie and others sharing their experiences actually really helps. I’m so sorry to all the people commenting here who have gone through similar experiences. It’s so tough. I agree with what others have said though- it’s ok to be mad, sad, whatever. You can still be grateful for what you have and mourn your losses in life.
So sorry Kaitx 🙁
That’s a heart-rending loss Kaitx…sending you a virtual hug.
I’m so sorry. I hope you start healing soon.
Thinking of you Kaitx. I’m very sorry for your loss 🙁
Thank you so much Kate, Jaded, FHmom and Emy. I’ll be ok- my husband has been amazing and we are working our way through our grief together with amazing support from the Canadian healthcare system. Miscarriage seems to be SO common, and nobody really talks about it. Xx
Love Carrie! She has a beautiful family and a positive outlook on life & very strong in her faith. I think she handles herself very well. Can’t wait to see her on tour.