Some things are just really, really good ideas. Like the classics: peanut butter and chocolate, or peanut butter and jelly, or peanut butter and bananas. Man I want peanut butter. Or in Paula Abdul’s case, Vicodin and alcohol. You know what doesn’t go together well? Paula Abdul and babies. Why? Because of all the Vicodin and alcohol. Is that stopping the insatiable train wreck that is Ms. Abdul? Nope. Paula tells “USA Today” that having a baby in the next two years is her biggest goal. At 45, I’m guessing she’s going to need a little assistance, though you never know. Paula’s boyfriend of only five months is also on board. I’m guessing that has a little more to do with a percentage of her “American Idol” paycheck than it does with any particular love for Paula.

“Paul Abdul’s hormones aren’t running on idle – the American Idol judge wants a baby. ‘That’s the next step in my life,’ the 45-year-old tells USA Today. ‘Definitely within the next two years. I thought by now I’d have three grown children.’ Age is not a factor, either, given fertility options. ‘With modern medicine, people are having kids in their 40s and even up until their late 40s. In their 50s, they’re having their second child,’ she says. ‘If it doesn’t happen naturally like that, I would always consider adopting.’

“Restaurateur J.T. Torregiani, 32, Abdul’s boyfriend of five months, would likely be the proud papa. ‘He’s a sweetie pie,’ Abdul says of the Sicilian, whom she met when he introduced himself to her after a taping of her show in April. ‘He’s a positive force that has come into my life right now. Where it leads, who knows?’ As for her fellow judge, Simon Cowell, assessing the new man in her life, Abdul quotes the sharp-tongued one as saying: ‘He’s a great, normal guy – why does he like you?’

“Others approve of Torregiani, too. ‘My chunky dog, Tulip, is in love with him. He pays so much attention to her that she thinks she’s the queen,’ says Abdul, who’s already been with her beau to London and plans to go with him to Italy. When it came to her Idol costars, however, ‘I was so adamant about not letting Simon or Randy [Jackson] or Ryan [Seacrest] know – and that was a good thing,’ she says.

“Asked if she were in love, Abdul (who had two brief marriages in the 1990s, to Emilio Estevez and Brad Beckerman) responds with a smile: ‘I’m in a good place in my heart. He’s like my best friend.’”

[From People]

Oh man, that melts my cold, pessimistic heart. Actually it does, which bothers me. It sounds like she’s genuinely happy, but not pinning all her hopes on one guy. Well, all her hopes for marriage at least, it seems pretty clear that she’s pinning all her hopes for sperm on the one guy. But that’s alright, I forgive you Paula. Speaking of fertility, Paula has some major medical issues to grapple with. I’m not sure if they could affect her ability to conceive, but they could affect her ability to parent well. She suffers from reflex sympathetic dystrophy, which is a type of Complex Regional Pain Syndrome. It sounds really miserable, defined by “chronic progressive disease characterized by severe pain, swelling and changes in the skin.” Supposedly this accounts for a good deal of Paula’s often erratic, bizarre behavior – she’s a bit loopy from the pain, and/or loopy from the medicine she must take for the pain. Which definitely means we (I) shouldn’t make fun of her. Though a lot of people have alleged that the real problem lays in the belief that Paula is combining some pretty serious painkillers with alcohol, and that’s what’s actually making her loopy. Before the issues with her appearing so out of it, Paula came off as pretty sweet, kind, and nurturing – all things that would make a great parent. Hopefully she can get her medical and/or other issues under control, and have a baby when she wants to.