There’s a silver lining for Jessica Simpson. Her heart might be broken, but she made the cover of two of the better tabloids this week. Earlier today, we showed you OK!’s cover – “Jessica Simpson’s Revenge Diet”. Now Us Weekly has released their cover – a picture of Jessica looking slightly drunk, wearing that horrible, orange, 1970s shower-curtain muu-muu from April. The headline: “Jessica’s Nightmare: The Other Woman”. The smaller script: “Burned Again! Long before dumping Jess, Tony sent flirty texts to a younger, skinnier blonde. Plus: Nick’s new Jess look-alike”. CB already showed us Nick’s new girlfriend, and yes, she does look an awful lot like Jessica. Like the “budget” version, though. I think Nick could probably do better than Budget Jessica.

Anyway, US Weekly hasn’t released any excerpts from the cover story yet, so we can only judge the story from the cover. Personally, I don’t think the idea of Tony Romo texting a “younger, skinnier blonde” is some huge deal. He was already allegedly nailing a cougar the day after he and Jessica broke up. He’s a douche… and I don’t need an US Weekly cover to tell me that.

In other Jessica news, People Magazine has an interview with Rob Dyrdek, a friend of John Mayer. Rob claims that, in his opinion, Jessica and John are “absolutely not” going to reunite:

First, Nick Lachey told PEOPLE there was very little truth to reports he might get back together with his newly single ex-wife, Jessica Simpson.

Now comes bad news for fans hoping Simpson’s ex-boyfriend John Mayer will heal her broken heart.

“Absolutely not,” Mayer’s pal Rob Dyrdek, 35, star of MTV’s Fantasy Factory, told PEOPLE Monday at Ryan Scheckler’s X Games Celebrity Skins Classic” in Coto De Caza, Calif.

Mayer and Simpson dated on-and-off for about a year before splitting in 2007. Dyrdek says he “wouldn’t rule out” a reunion, but adds, “I’m just saying [I don’t think so].”

Earlier this month, Mayer found himself in the middle of Simpson’s breakup with her boyfriend of a year and a half, Tony Romo, when reports surfaced that he had been texting the pop star, 29. In May, a source told PEOPLE the exes “have been in touch.”

[From People]

Meh. I don’t really think Mayer or Jessica really want to have another go at a relationship, but I’d be willing to bet there’s going to be some rebound sex. The biggest reason I have for believing this is because John Mayer hasn’t said anything about Jessica or her breakup in the past few weeks – and this is a man who loves to talk. John either has genuine sympathy for Jessica, and doesn’t want to kick her while she’s down, or John is bidding his time for the sexy time.