Over the years, I’ve gone from thinking that Eva Amurri is kind of cool and harmless to thinking that she’s a melodramatic a–hole who makes everything about HER. She’s Susan Sarandon’s daughter and an actress in her own right, but over the years, Eva has become something of a mommy blogger. Not only that, she reads all of the judgy-mom comments and she internalizes them, which means that whenever anyone says anything mildly critical, she turns it into a five-act drama which, again, is all her. Her husband fired a nanny who sent a “sexy text” to him. Eva’s night nurse dropped their son when he was an infant. Both of those incidents were mommy-blogged extensively by Eva. And now she’s got a new issue.
Eva’s oldest child is her daughter Marlowe. Eva threw a party for Marlowe’s fifth birthday. The theme of the party was “Mexico.” Eva called the party Cinco de Marlowe. When people were like “please don’t do this” or “white people must be stopped,” Eva mommy-grammed this message, which honestly made it so much worse:
A little note on our Mexican themed party for Marlowe: with everything going on in this political climate, I thought now would be a great time to celebrate Mexico and the role it has had in our country culturally. Anybody who knows Marlowe knows she is obsessed with Mexico- she has had incredible Latin women taking care of her from three weeks old, and one in particular from Mexico who would always call her “cinco de Marlowe” on May 5th.
Spanish was actually Marlowe’s first language before English, which made me really proud that she was getting so much from another culture. We moved from Los Angeles, but when the movie Coco came out, Marlowe loved it and felt really connected to it because she had heard about a lot of the themes of the movie from people she cares about. She wanted all these things brought together for her fifth birthday since she was finally, actually turning “cinco”!
Of course this party was a rudimentary representation of Mexican culture since it was for young kids. This aside, we don’t only think it’s important to highlight the beauty of Mexican culture, or the horrors of the attack on Mexicans of late, with a bday party. From when this all first started, we have been donating to those effected- and I also wrote a blog post which I’m putting in my bio. (unfortunately this has been going on a long time so the post is from a while ago. Please comment on it with additional charities you love). We also have been calling our senators.
Somebody reached out to me directly (in a kind way) to let me know that Marlowe’s theme offended them. They didn’t know the reasoning behind why we picked it, but I wanted to take a minute to say that this theme was picked because of a love for Mexico and its people and a desire to celebrate in the midst of a lot of hate.. Regardless of that, I know so many emotions are running high right now surrounding this topic, so sorry to anyone we offended! ❤️ (also I wanted to note that I shared all the birthday wishes with Marlowe yesterday and she says thank you)
I’ve been sitting here for a minute, what-if-ing this situation to see how I would feel under similar circumstances. Like, would I would be offended if a white family threw an “Indian-themed” party for their child’s birthday? If they used rudimentary representations of Indian culture as part of the “theme”? I think… I would applaud the cultural-curiosity of the children but I would have a problem with the parents who cosigned the theme and the crude representations within the party. You know how races and cultures are NOT Halloween costumes? Well, races and cultures are not party themes either. And it feels like Eva is trying so hard to be woke, when really she sounds like so many privileged white women who think they’re “exposing” their kids to other cultures by… hiring a string of Latina nannies. I don’t know. This is a mess.
Photos courtesy of Eva’s Instagram.
Lol my mom is throwing a mexican independence party on her birthday. Were mexicans, so for me it’s not weird or offensive. But that’s just my opinion
I’m half mexican and i also don’t find this offensive, but rather cute. People get offended by everything nowadays anyway 🤷🏻♀️
I’m 100% Mexican and not offended at all. I see no drunken frat dudes with fake mustaches or sombreros or panchos? I see a cute little theme and her kid loved Coco which was a great film celebrating Mexican culture. I loathe Susan Sarandon but I can’t hold that against her daughter. But yea agreed if ppl want to be offended they will fault anywhere
I agree. There are so many people so eager to pounce on and attack–with real hostility—anyone with opinions that vary even slightly from their own.
Agreed Chicana here, not offended.
My family is Puerto Rican, and if my aunties were some rich white girl’s nanny who had to watch a “PR” bday for said child…I don’t know…it would hurt. If my whole life and history was boiled down to party favors– Taiano head dresses and plantains…I might just choke. Our lives aren’t “things” to dress up with. We are human beings not OBJECTS that entertain, we’re not here to teach your child Spanish colonial words like ,”Pick it up Nanny”…Oh. I didn’t know it would hurt. It HURTS.
Tainos wore one or few feathers , or none.
@missK. I think that’s the point- culture vulture has no regard for authenticity- it’s @mockery. But what’s -your-point??
Yeah, I don’t find this offensive at all. I’m glad she clarified why she decided to do a Mexican themed party though. I can’t stand Eva either but this party isn’t offensive IMO. BTW – I’m Hispanic too.
Total ahole just like her mother. I’m not a bit surprised
It’s dumb. I think her intentions were probably GOOD, but the lack of understanding WHY this is wrong is frustrating.
I mean, at the end of the day, it’s nice to see kids who are interested in other cultures and who embrace people from outside of their tiny little family bubble. That’s absolutely wonderful, and it’s comforting to know that there are a lot of kids out there who are like that in spite of the current political climate.
But it really is along the same lines as using a culture as a costume. And it’s a shame that so many grown ass adults don’t get that.
This is 100% not offensive, I think it’s cute! I’m Mexican and find it funny that people who find this offensive are white people and not mexicans. Tradicional Mexican theme parties are very popular here in Mexico (I know it sound funny, but it’s legit a theme, just like vintage theme for example) I feel like in the U.S some people are paranoid and afraid of being seen as racist, so I get that they’re afraid of enjoin other cultures, but this type of parties are flattering to us, it shows your appreciation of our beautiful culture, please keep them coming, celebrate día de los muertos! Celebrate our Independence Day! There’s nothing wrong with it, relax!
Perla- if you live in Mexico I can see how this might not seem like a big deal, but being a Mexican American, it’s a totally different context. We’re under attack in our own country and for someone with such enormous privilege to make a cutesy party borrowing from the parts of our culture they deem worthy is tone deaf at best.
@Gabriela how is the party “borrowing” from the Mexican culture? Why is it not seen as “celebrating” the Mexican culture? Can’t people who are not Mexican enjoy the rich Mexican culture?
I don’t get why this is offensive either. Everyone is so overly offended these days, it’s nuts. Yes, racism is rampant these days (I have received some “go back to your country” shouts from idiots) but not EVERY action from people not of a particular race are meant to offend or are offensive. The fact that some people find this party offensive is completely troubling to me.
“Anybody who knows Marlowe knows she is obsessed with Mexico- she has had incredible Latin women taking care of her from three weeks old, and one in particular from Mexico who would always call her “cinco de Marlowe” on May 5th. ”
Oh honey no……
Their disconnect from what is decent….BLOWS MY MIND!
BUT THE SERVANTS ARE LATINO AND WE LOVE THEM SO IT MAKES IT OKAY,
I think….actually you know what? I don’t have the energy to waste on Susan Sarandon’s untalented daughter. Moving on…
Same.
Agreed.
I’ll just say I hope she votes better than her mother, and leave it at that.
She sucks,l. Her aside, though, I do wonder about what you do when your (white) child loves CoCo and wants a CoCo themed birthday party. Do you just go with it? Kitschy Day of the Dead party decor and all? Seems kind of yikes, but on the flip side I’d like to see CoCo get that licensing money! I really don’t know what to think. I’m open to other opinions.
I would argue it could be done. Miguel on balloons, hiring a band to play the Disney songs, keep it very specific to the movie.
This is just a “Mexico” party. Day of the dead, cinco de mayo, taco pinata, the clothes. Day of the dead =/= 5th of May in any way. It’s cos-playing a culture. It’s bad.
I assume that’s probably some of why this kid is into it.
CoCo is a STUNNING movie. And I would love for them to get more of that licensing money as well. I think, like Eliza said, it COULD be done in a way that’s not an issue – keep it very themed to the movie rather than just a weird generalized Mexico theme that is heavy on the appropriation.
EG: guitar cookies, cartoon Xoloitzcuintli dog balloons or banners or whatever. Focusing on specific characters rather than culture as a whole.
My daughter loved Coco, too, and we’ve watched it so many times. (And I still cry every time.) She also loved The Book of Life. I could totally see doing a themed party around one of those movies. But I wouldn’t do it cause we were trying to celebrate a country or honor an underpaid nanny (cause we’re too poor for such things).
I don’t see any problem with a party theme based on a movie and the movie characters.
“Mexico” is not a theme though. Eva is just an idiot courting attention and drama.
I agree. I think if the theme had been the movie, it would be a totally different matter.
I am down with a Coco movie theme. However, Eva is saying that her daughter’s first language is Spanish. She’s saying she’s having the party to elevate Mexico? WHAT the what. It’s a five-year-old’s birthday party. Mommy just didn’t want tacky Coco decorations from the party store.
If she really wants to “help” Mexico – hold a gala and send the proceeds to (vetted) organizations that are helping migrants and asylum seekers. Or hold an auction or something. I don’t know. But don’t try to get cultural kudos from your child’s birthday party.
“What do you mean I’m racist?! I LOOOOOVE my maid and she’s from Mexico! My massage therapist is a shaman from Costa Ricaaaaaa!! The pool boy is Mexican and he does such a great job that we’re thinking of giving him a raise to .30 cents over minimum wage. And our gardener has been with the family since I was a child. I’m not racist! I love the Latins and have grown up with them all around me MY WHOLE LIFE. There is NO WAY that I could be racist!”
–Smug güera who doesn’t know when to zip it. (And that’s what Evita here sounds like to me).
I can’t stand this chick but I’m pretty sure she didn’t say anything of the sort. So employing people who (willingly) work for her is racist now? She may pay them very well and they may very much enjoy working for her family. (Or she/they may not…) I’m really trying to understand. Because while Eva is insufferable, not all white privileged people are assholes like that.
I get what you’re saying, truly, but when one’s exposure to Latin or Hispanic peoples is strictly as their client or employer, that is not really the same as understanding and appreciating Latin or Hispanic culture.
And someone needs to explain to her that the migrants at the border are largely from Honduras, El Salvador, Nicaragua, and Guatemala. Just because they transited through Mexico does not make them Mexican.
Cher: ‘Lucy, you know I don’t speak Mexican.’
Lucy (storming off): ‘I’m not a Mexican!’
Cher: ‘Great, what was that all about?’
Josh: ‘Lucy’s from El Salvador.’
Cher: ‘So?’
Josh: ‘It’s an entirely different country.’
Cher: ‘What does that matter?’
Josh: ‘You get upset if someone thinks you live below Sunset.’
@Tina, that’s a perfect, chef’s kiss use of Clueless. Brava.
What Megan said, above, in terms of the refugees. She’s lumping everyone together.
Of course her kid loved “Coco.” That movie is gorgeous. I agree about making it a Coco-themed party. And Cinco de Mayo may have gotten big in the USA but it’s not the Mexican Independence Day.
My daughter is from China and when someone referred to her, relative to his Anglo descendants wearing kimonos, as also being “Oriental,” I almost snapped, “But they can take the costumes off, she can’t. People can still spit at her and tell her to go back where she came from.”
I wish I’d snapped.
Not only that but she seems to suggest her child’s exposure to Mexicans is mostly from the hired help. Imagine being a rich White girl and the ONLY Mexicans you know are the ones who work for your family. Something is wrong with that. It just irked me the way she said it.
Fun fact: “Oriental” is the non-PC adjective for objects or artwork. “Asian” is the proper adjective used for people. Being half-Asian, I DO snap when someone refers to people as “Oriental” as it implies the Western Hemisphere is the center of the world.
As for Eva Amurri’s latest crap, I would be cool with it if she had thrown a “Coco” theme party and donated a bunch of money in honour of her daughter’s birthday to the organizations helping refugees marooned in Mexico while seeking asylum in the US. I am not okay with her throwing a Mexico theme party and her justifications.
Thanks Bearcat and always great when you comment. Exactly as you say, “Oriental” was also problematic and was central to the actual, frustrating, protracted discussion I went on to have. Even the simple fact of it bothering my daughter was not enough. And this was from someone older but well traveled and with friends from all over.
i’ll generously say this party is deeply misguided and that even though she isn’t being malicious – it doesn’t mean it isn’t inappropriate cultural appropriation. that is white privilege. thinking that just b/c you didn’t INTEND to be racist means you’re not.
her new face looks good though.
Half of my family are immigrants from Mexico so parties are “Mexican” themed complete with piñatas even though we have lots of white people in our family (I’m half). I’m not sure what white people are supposed to theme they’re party as because they cannot celebrate white culture here either (american revolution, cowboys and Indians, etc) would all get them in trouble. Personally I don’t care if ppl want to hit a piñata and paint their kids face in day of the dead makeup. The bright colors traditionally used for Mexican celebrations are beautiful and I think most kids would enjoy that. I do like what the other commenter said about using Coco as the theme, maybe that would have come across better??? I do think what she said about nannies is weird.
On a side note: Does this mean dressing up as presidents, celebrities, or historical figures is also cancelled? Tommy Lee from Motley Crue didn’t appreciate someone dressing up as him for halloween. He viewed it as cultural appropriation as well. Is this the end of Marilyn Monroe costumes and drag queens dressed as culturally recognized celebrities?
If you can’t see the different between dressing as a celebrity and dressing as an entire CULTURE, well… I don’t know what to tell you. Use some critical thinking skills here.
“I’m not sure what white people are supposed to theme they’re party as because they cannot celebrate white culture here either (american revolution, cowboys and Indians, etc) would all get them in trouble.”
Well, most “white culture” is built on what we’ve stolen from the people we oppressed, slaughtered, and/or colonized, so there’s that.
Other party themes off the top of my head? One of a dozen white Disney princesses. Sports. Dance. Alice in Wonderland. Harry Potter. Anything that doesn’t involve playing dress up (and face painting) with another culture.
ALL of this.
Did you miss the part where the poster is part Mexican? Are you going to tell us that if a little black girl wants to dress as Cinderella she can’t? Or a white boy can’t be T’Challa? Where does this crap end?
VintageS – the poster didn’t say THEY were Mexican, just that many in their family were immigrants. As someone who is, I would like to remind you that we all don’t speak for each other. To Dark and Stormy: I wouldn’t consider my family’s parties “Mexican themed”, as my culture isn’t a theme. We’d had pinatas and tradtional foods and music, etc, but it wasn’t a theme. So I would side eye an person (Latino or not), who called their traditions a theme.
I don’t think anyone is saying children can’t dress up as characters (or historical figures) of other races. My (white appearing, although technically part Asian) nieces dress up as Moana all the time, and I have never had anyone get offended about that. It’s cool to dress as Pocahontas, but it’s not cool to dress as a Native American person. It’s fine to dress up as T’Challa (WITHOUT BLACKFACE), regardless of race, but simply dressing up as a generic POC is offensive.
Please be careful. “White culture” is not a thing except to racists. If you’re asking what Irish, Scottish, English, French, Norwegian, Russian, Austrian, Belgian, and Czech people do for parties in their cultures, there are many avenues open for you to learn. “Cowboys and Indians themed party for white people” is really over the top in terms of racist language. The normalization of this concept that “white” is a race and that “white people” do this or that is part of the skinhead agenda. “White culture” is a concept that is designed to paint over the many beautiful, unique, rich facets of the many DIFFERENT Western European cultures that have roots stretching back thousands of years, and instead replace it with the an image that a “white person” is an anonymous thug in a KKK sheet, with no individuality, and who is a constant threat.
I agree. In terms of my socioeconomic status within American society, I identify as white, but in terms of my more personal identity, I am the product of the fusion of Irish/British, Italian, German, and Czech cultures.
White identity as defined by white supremacists is pretty narrow, full of stereotypes and massive privilege (a la cowboys and Indians). It’s not something that ought to be celebrated.
White people want to celebrate their culture, they should, but they need to look a little harder if they think their culture is supposed to be all about oppressing others.
Are you serious? Presidents, celebrities or historical figures are NOT a culture!
Suggestions on how to have a party celebrating “white culture” in America:
Roleplay getting pulled over by the cops and feeling zero fear
Play a game where you all go shopping and no one follows you around in the store
Play “spot the difference” while looking at our 45 presidents, 44 of whom have snowy white faces.
Sorry I’m trying to be funny, but the fact is the entire country is “white culture”. If you’re white you have an ancestral background. For me, I could throw a party celebrating irish and Scottish traditions. But “white culture”?!? That is something I will never be looking for or suffering from the lack of 🙄
Did you just compare putting on an entire CULTURE as a costume to dressing up as a celeb? Are you this uninformed or are you being intentionally obtuse??
Dark and stormy- Valiantly varnished already bullied Tonya off the blog last week for calling Meghan Markle pretty. Don’t take her insults personal- she does this to commenters she does not agree with.
Why? Does VV not think Markle is pretty or because it’s an inappropriate way of referring to her? My vote is she is pretty/beautiful/fill in the blank.
>>I’m not sure what white people are supposed to theme they’re party as because they cannot celebrate white culture here either (american revolution, cowboys and Indians, etc) would all get them in trouble.
Cowboys were and are often Mexican or South/Central American. There is a history of black cowboys, too. FTR, cowboys still exist, and if you’re in the right place, you can still see them working.
Please don’t dress as “Indians”, because “Indians” aren’t a monolith. There is no one “Indian” culture to dress as.
There are Native American cultures, and there are “Indian” stereotypes. Don’t dress as either one, please.
One isn’t yours to borrow (Native American). For example, please do not wear headdresses, because headdresses represent sacred aspects of their culture.
The other is simply wrong – the generic “Indian” tropes popularised in Hollywood are factually incorrect and insulting.
Also, ‘their’, not ‘they’re’.
You think “white culture” is cowboys and Indians and the American Revolution?
Yikes.
Please educate yourself on all of those.
Ouch, the arrogance of that statement from her hurts my brain. She seems like the kind of person who cannot learn because they insist they already know everything.
If the child loves Mexican food then have Mexican food at her party. She loves Mexican music? Great, play some Mexican music. You’re concerned for current issues in/with Mexico? Choose a charity and ask for donations in lieu of gifts, five years old is a great age to start gently letting a child know that others have a harder time than her and donation is one way to help.
But making a Mexican THEMED party helps absolutely no one in Mexico, and obviously can hurt the feelings of Mexican Americans who see this nonsense, who see their culture being used as a prop. Mexico is not a “theme”, Mexico is a county, our dear neighbor to the south.
She’s quite insufferable. This could have been a great learning experience for her but no, she has every excuse and she knows everything. My eyes rolled right out of my head reading her statement.
We throw this kind of parties in mexico. We dress as adelitas or charros. I guess we dont get offended by other cultures or countries doing this because we like when other people like our culture.
And if you were paying attention to the comment section in her post, many Mexicans are praising her.
Steph it would seem some Mexican people do feel offended by this (see comments in this very thread).
You of course have every right to your own feelings on it, and I hear you that you’re not alone in your feelings that this party is totally fine.
As a white woman I am disappointed in her not using this opportunity to listen and learn (like, at all! Not even a little!), in her repeating the trope that you can’t be racist if you have people of color in your life, and in her failure to make any meaningful impact with this party.
She’s a celebrity of sorts. If she is going to throw, and make extremely public, a Mexican party for her incredibly privileged family, while doing nothing for Mexican people, then in my eyes she’s misusing her privilege to the max.
It doesn’t hurt white people to tread lightly, keep their ears open, be humble, and make sure not to USE the cultures of less privileged people for fun, while doing nothing in return. White people act like they are oh-so mistreated when their questionable actions are questioned. This lady is going to be just fine after this, and by discussing it we can hope to learn more from people of color who do find this problematic.
“And if you were paying attention to the comment section in her post, many Mexicans are praising her.”
Apparently that does not fit their agenda. There is one way to think now.
Vintages what are you even talking about? What “agenda”? My agenda as a white person in America is to put an end to white ignorance about white privilege. Wow such a horrible thing to pursue, right?
There can be plenty of Mexicans who take no offense. But those who do should be heard and listened to by white people. I guess I’m glad if many or most Mexicans are not offended by this, but we need to listen to those who are.
I’m raising mixed race children and I will continue to participate in conversations about what white people can do better, so that the lives of my children and all people of color can be less impacted by centuries of racial inequality.
I agree, but letting children explore other cultures and appreciate the beauty of it as an element of this country is a part of the process.
Extending that idealogy are you going to tell a black or Japanese girl she can’t be Cinderella or Belle? Restrict another child from T’Challa, Okoye or Mulan because of there skin color or sex? Yes, two are fictional characters, but they resonate with specific cultures. I am white, and if I were 8 years old I can’t imagine a stronger role model than Gurira’s Okay but I guess that’s off limits for white, Japanese, Mexicans etc.
Try and remember that not everyone is out to appropriate another culture out of condescension and entitlement.
This is so secondhand embarrassing. I read her super white lady privileged note and cringed the whole time.
I feel like this wouldn’t have been such a big deal if it were “Coco” themed. It’s a children’s movie and the characters fictional. But having a “Mexico” theme seems a bit inappropriate during these times. Plus, I feel that white people often do these parties on how they they think a person’s culture is from a very basic standpoint, very simplistic or stereotypical imagery. If you truly believed in celebrating a culture you would dive deeper than that.
Yep! Agree with this.
Idk the party seems a lot less problematic than her explanation of the party, which is legit terrifying.
“Spanish was actually Marlowe’s first language before English,”
why would you even admit that
I was wondering the same thing. So the kid spent most of her time with the nannies I presume? Eva is not THAT big of an actress that she was working all the time…so hmmm. Also, stating that pretty much all your hired help is Latina just seems ummm…I don’t know…
She couldn’t have said her daughter has Mexican classmates or something? Nope, she talked about the hired help. Yikes.
First generation American here (or as I like to call myself Tex-Mex American). As someone mentioned, if the theme is cinco de Mayo (Marlowe) then why is there day of the dead painting? If she loves the Mexican culture so much then put a little thought and perhaps educate yourself on what the holiday actually represents. The fiesta colors are gorgeous and I get it, we did my Mexican mother’s 60th birthday that fiesta colored theme and it was lovely. Here’s where my annoyance comes from, our culture isn’t a costume you can take off. My brown skin isn’t overlooked once I take off my day of the dead face paint. I want to like that they think it’s beautiful but if she had done something along side meaningful like make a statement about the horrible abuse and trauma my people are going through and then asked to donate to corresponding charities, I don’t know. It’s a high tension time considering our president is running ruthless attacks on all immigrants but especially Mexicans. Cool, you like the pretty colors and your nanny is Mexican, I guess you can use our culture for your child’s birthday party and learn or do nothing else to help the culture you love so much.
ALL. OF. THIS.
Living in Texas, we know Cinco de Mayo is a faux holiday. The real deal is Diez y Seis in September! But it confused and depressed me to see Dia de los Muertos imagery alongside obvious fiesta colours and decor. She should have made it a “Coco” theme party and called it a day.
Cinco de Mayo is a lot more important to Mexican Americans in California. It started out as an expression of national pride by Mexican citizens living in California at the time. The holiday has been celebrated continuously in California since the first anniversary of the Battle of Puebla.
It’s NOT a faux holiday, but it is one of more significance to Californian Mexican Americans than it is to Mexican Americans outside of California or to Mexico.
Traditionally, in my experience as a white Californian growing up amidst Mexican American culture, the Dia de los Muertos imagery was never used. Mexican flags and banners, bright colors, mariachi music, traditional Mexican dresses – that was the sort of stuff you’d see at Cinco de Mayo celebrations.
I think the Dia de los Muertos imagery for Cinco de Mayo is a marketing gimmick, that allows retailors to sell the same merchandise at different times of the year. Lowers the overhead, I suppose, not that that is a good excuse.
I’m on the fence here honestly. I’m Mexican-American and dad is from Mexico and a majority of mom’s family tree originated in Mexico. Half of my family currently lives in Mexico.
I LOVE Mexican decor, fashion, and the bright, beautiful colors. I can see why people are drawn to the theme for a celebration. I sincerely love that children and families love Coco and the interest it sparks about our culture and Día de los Muertos. I even pictured a few Mexican friends and family who’s nickname this kid “Cinco de Marlowe”, which made me chuckle.
What bothers me is that a bunch of white people planned and carried out this party – even if they had the best intentions – it doesn’t feel right. I’m not sure how many people of color were there, if at all. I’m glad there was no “brown face”, ponchos, fake mustaches, and bottles of tequila. If Eva’s message about her daughter’s birthday theme was posted with the original photos, it may have given her some credibility, but right now, it feels like a faux woke charade to cover her ass. If her daughter wanted a Coco party, there plenty of movie themed decorations to make that happen.
I definitely want to encourage more interest in learning about other cultures and celebrating them. It’s great and makes our world a better place! Maybe what it boils down to is that those who are within the culture should be part essential to planning the celebrations (i.e. community event) and encouraging the public to attend – not white parents making it the theme of their kid’s birthday party.
I used to actually like her but the moment she started blogging she became insufferable. To me this is typical white liberal BS. “I have Latin nannies – I can’t be racist!” Girl, bye. This is tone-deaf and disgusting and frankly Im sick of women like her and like Alyssa Milani getting all in their feelings instead of LISTENING and LEARNING why this was inappropriate.
What did Alyssa Milano do? I must have missed that story.
Alyssa has said MANY tone deaf things on Twitter but the thing that made me unfollow her and many others to do so as well, is when she said, “I am black, I am trans, I am Latino…” this was her way of “supporting” marginalized people. And when it was politely pointed out to her that writing a comment like that was tone deaf and appropriative she released a huge cry-baby statement. Instead of simply apologizing.
And then she started blocking black women who commented and called her out.
Wow. That’s pretty insane. Thanks for sharing.
@ Valiantly Varnished
Was this a highly publicized story? I never heard anything about it. That is pretty tone deaf on her part.
@ME it was a trending topic on Twitter for a bit but I don’t know of it was ever covered elsewhere.
I dont find it offensive and I have Mexican paerents Coco is a beautiful theme
Where do they live, in LA or NY? Either way, they call their (2 Democratic) Senators, eh? What change-makers.
I found it weird she said they moved from Los Angeles. She does know Mexicans are all over America right?
Looks like they have a house in Westport, Connecticut now.
Also 2 Democrats in the Senate. And Westport is high-toned.
Girl, just say you like puns and you like tacos. I don’t think there is anything wrong with throwing a party with a “fiesta” theme, just own that you like Mexican food and maybe should have skipped the sacred cultural face paint instead of writing a big statement that might as well say “I’m ignorant and white and I can afford a cake covered in fondant”over and over.
I can’t wait until Eva Amurri throws a China Doll theme party with chopsticks and fortune cookies and kimonos and she says that her kids were conceived on a mattress made in China, so technically they have a rich Asian background and her kids are preternaturally great at math.
Ha ha ha !
I get it, but at the same time if it’s respectfully done, what’s the harm?
Everyone is screaming about cultural appropriation these days and while it definitely can be a real issue that needs to be addressed, we also need to be careful that we don’t start gatekeeping when it comes to different cultures because that’s the kind of stuff that breeds nativism and intolerance for others. Exposure is a necessary part of education. This is part of why I adore the movie Coco–it was so beautifully done and it spread awareness about what I think is a gorgeous part of Mexican culture.
A party that celebrates another culture teaches tolerance and showcases how different ways of life can be so beautiful. Idk what Eva’s intentions were, but generally speaking I think it can be a nice thing to admire another culture and want to be a part of it and experience it.
Ok but if someone asked this child or her parents the meaning of Cinco de Mayo, would they know it actually has to do with the Mexican Army’s victory over the French Empire? It has nothing to do with the day of the dead (Dia de Muertos). Education is key here.
Do people in the US who celebrate Halloween know what it stands for or anything about it? Generally no, it is used as an excuse for a fancy dress party, with people calling each other out on cultural appropriation re the costumes without appreciating they have culturally appropriated the entire event.
Most people know Halloween has Pagan roots. Plus Halloween is a poor example because it’s mostly a modern day commercial holiday. It’s not really cultural the way Dia de Muertos is.
Ok, Halloween is not just a commercial holiday, like all Christian festivals it has roots in paganism. Halloween was always celebrated in Ireland as the feast of all hallows eve, the day after is All souls day. On all souls day we still to mass to honour our dead (even a lot of the non religious do this, including me).
Halloween was always celebrated by dressing up, playing tricks, carving turnips etc. When the Irish emigrated to America during the famine they started celebrating it there as a way of keeping their culture alive.
@ mynameispearl
I totally understand and respect that but modern day Halloween has in fact become a commercial holiday in North America. I don’t know of any Americans that connect Halloween to the Irish culture. It seems to have gotten lost somewhere a long the way shamefully.
@Mynameispearl the day after Halloween is All Saints’ Day and a holy day of obligation. All Souls’ Day is November 2nd.
@enn you’re totally correct lol! In fairness my mother is always raging at me for being a terrible catholic lol! Always mixing up my feasts, always a row over the assumption and the ascension… 🙂
I just hate that Halloween is regarded as something invented by some corporate genius when its roots are so deep.
It’s a fair question generally but her post is so muddled and defensive that it really comes across as play-acting.
Her explanation was ok, but when I read the way she responded to some genuine and kindly started criticism from one Mexican commenter in particular it was really gross and diminished her original statement, for me. Very typical white privileged haughty attitude and the girl, you could tell, was being very genuine. Her response was total white fragile bs. You need to be able to respond to criticism with grace and an open ear! Plus the girl mentioned that she said her daughter’s interest came from hired help (nannies) which couldn’t help but put her (the commenter) off, and she came back with “you know nothing about my life!” SHE is the one who mentioned employees, not friends or family, being the Mexicans in her kids life.
She’s cosplaying a culture while lumping migrants in one group – MEXICANS.
If her daughter loved Coco (who didn’t?!) why not throw her a Coco themed birthday party without cosplaying what she believes to be mexican culture and tradition?
And saying she meant well just because her daughter’s nanies have all been mexican is like saying “i’m not racist! I have a black friend!”.
Or maybe introduce her daughter to Mexican doctors, lawyers, teachers, engineers, etc. so she knows not all Mexicans are maids and nannies.
I really hope the staff (because of course there was staff) at her party wasn’t Mexican.
I agree with the other posters who said the party should have focused on a Coco specific theme.
Meanwhile if you have a huge following on Instagram and post photos of your kids party there will be negative responses. So learn how to differentiate constructive criticism from mean spirited criticism or stop posting so much about your kids? I don’t wanna be a b**tch but I don’t post long posts about lovers, dietary choices, close friends and/or my daily struggles. Therefore I don’t receive flax from strangers. Posting something publicly is inviting the commentary of strangers and I’m too sensitive for that. Her post justifying the party came across as super defensive and lacking nuance.
(I’m a white woman with no children is open to feedback on this statement from mothers & Mexicans FYI)
I don’t think I would have had an issue had she done a day of the dead OR a cinco de mayo themed party. I’m relieved to be honest that there were no sombreros or handlebar mustaches.
But lumping two things together combined with her inane blathering is just, ma’am, go away
She’s fired a few nanny’s already…so which ones did her daughter get so close to that she learned Spanish from them? Hmmm. It’s also funny that some people are leaving comments on her instagram in Spanish. I guess her daughter can translate those for her.
This reminds of me The Help lol
@ceelo, lol
I’m so glad seeing the many people who understand why all of this is problamatic. I was honestly worried I was being too sensitive about my culture, and over reacting. As a Mexican in todays world, it is very hard to see so many people hate on our people, and on the other end, people who appropriate under the guise of caring and celebrating. In my opinion, a Coco theme party would be easy, using those decorations from the movie, similar foods, and the soundtrack. When she started mixing her reasons (Coco, nannies, celebrating a culture in today’s climate), I think she stepped on her own tongue. Culture is not a theme. A movie is a theme, a character is a theme, but a CULTURE is not a party favor. Regarding her culturally diverse nannies: Why is she reminding me of a character from The Help?
I should add that I don’t speak for all Mexicans or Latinos, just my opinion. I love seeing our culture genuinely celebrated. However, reading what she said, I don’t think that’s what happening here, which is why I am against it.
I’m lucky enough to have many wonderful people in my life who are from Mexico or whose family is from Mexico. It makes my heart weep that they are being targeted by dangerous bigots.
As a cute play on words, it’s not the worst themed party to throw, but then to try and pass it off as celebrating Mexican culture because of the child’s love of the Latina hired help…just ugh.
seriously my culture is not a theme or back drop for your party. Does anyone have Norwegian or Canadian themed parties? so why have a Mexican themed one? The same reasons why people have Japanese or Hawaiian themed parties because it seems exotic and when you do that you are othering us. People’s culture are not props brown people are people not themes.
This is exactly how the party’s “theme” struck me too, as othering Mexican people. Also, she not only comes off as clueless, but to then go and spin it as though this is some amazing act of love for Mexican people and something she deserves to be lauded for is so disingenuous. How does anyone have the nerve to try to use a mistake or misstep as a way to polish their so-called progressive cred? While also disagreeing with and talking over actual Mexican people, tf? I don’t like her now at all.
God, and then the only Mexicans she or her daughter knows are her nannies? Whooooo, she needs to really look at herself and stop lying.
Ugh. Susan raised a real asshole.
I think it’s a really cute idea, but agree maybe focusing more on the movie-theme than entire country-as-theme, as some above said.
Some people just cannot see it. My husband came home from work and told me about his white coworker who was throwing a Day of the Dead themed wedding in Mexico–not on the Day of the Dead, partner is also white–and he couldnt understand why I found that so terrible. “But it’s inspired by the opening in that James Bond movie, how cool is that?” I love my husband, but he is rich white suburban stock and he just cannot get it. This jackhole is the same. But our nannies are Mexican so it’s okay! So ignorant they dont even know to be ashamed. White privilege is a hell of a drug.
Honestly, I think it’s cute. I’m white, but both of my daughters are half Mexican. And they would both love this. It may not be part of my culture, but it is part of theirs. And if they wanted a party like this, I would have no problem throwing it for them. And I know my in-laws wouldn’t either. My husband and I are raising our girls to embrace who they are. Mexican and English/Irish/Scottish.
Friendship can’t be paid for. The fact that you hire people of colour or work with a person of colour means that they are being paid to be nice to you. It is a transaction. Same goes for front-of-line female employees (receptionists, retail) and the men who come onto them. I don’t get why people with privilege don’t understand this.
It’s ridiculous that people don’t get why this is so wrong. That’s privilege for you, I guess.
Anyway, I think this concerns Mexicans mainly. I am Latin-American but in my country there’s no such thing as Día de los Muertos, so I don’t think it’s a conversation for all Latinos.
As the daughter of a maid, though. This disgusts me on a different level. F-ck rich people, honestly.
I don’t find this offensive at all, I think it’s fun! White people from all over the world go to Mexico a lot and put on sombreros and eat, enjoy and experience the Mexican culture happily…all the time — it’s fine that Eva Amurri is having this themed party at her house… I’m sure it was fun. However, for those who are getting offended — what about Thanksgiving? That’s a total appropriation, what about Christmas? Nothing belongs to any one race or culture because this is a melting pot and we should stop being offended for others and just focus on positive things — this party isn’t hurting anyone — everyone just stand down. I’m also 100%, born in MX and I don’t find this offensive— I live in the US and I think it’s nice that Eva Amurri is celebrating this way, I’m pretty sure Mexicans do 4th of July all the time and nobody is saying anything about that — because it’s just a freakin’ party. Let people just have a fun cake and some tacos and tequila geez.
My main issue is her belief that she is “elevating Mexico” or whatever by having it as her party theme. I also feel like there is a difference in being invited to take part in someone’s culture as a guest or tourist vs. getting a bunch of themed decorations and having your own party, or dressing up a certain way for Halloween, or whatever.
As a Chicana, I think this is cute. I’m not offended at all. Everyone should know the joy of hitting a pin~ata on their birthday, at least once!
I think she just used the Latina nannies and her supposed appreciation for Mexican culture to justify this mess of a party. There was no real thought or research into the party or Mexican culture. She was really defensive and dismissive on her social media of those who thought it was offensive.
The ratio of whites to Mexicans getting offended by this is like 5:1.
A very close Asian relative (married into the family) once told me. I don’t want a white person speaking up on my behalf. This is my story and if I am offended, I can say so myself. Don’t make your white guilt my problem. What if I’m not offended by what you think I should be offended?
Eva Amurri seems exhausting but not sure I see this party as problematic. I don’t see it as a celebration of anything either so that’s that. It’s just a party.