Tamron Hall has a new talk show on CBS this season. I hope it’s good, because she got massively screwed over at NBC – Hall was set to basically have her own hour of the Today Show and then NBC decided to hire white supremacist Barbie Megyn Kelly. Tamron got pushed aside and she walked away from the mess (and NBC looked terrible in the long run anyway). So, if you see a lot of Tamron Hall interviews this month, it’s because she’s shilling for her new show. Which is what this O Magazine piece is – Tamron chatted with her good friend Gabrielle Union about becoming a mom later in life (both women welcomed babies in their 40s) and a lot of other stuff. Stuff like… whether black parents should let their kids believe in Santa Claus?
Union: You grew up in Luling, Texas—you’re a Black woman from the South. Do you ever feel like your experiences inform your parenting differently than it might other parents? Like, I’ll say to my husband, “Let’s tell the kids their Christmas gifts are from Santa.” And my husband is like, “There’s no way in hell I’m letting these kids think that old white man is sneaking into our house and doing anything for them.” Because he didn’t grow up believing in Santa Claus. And we have these conversations when it comes to raising our children about where to draw the line between fantasy and “Hey, that’s not how life works.”
Hall: 100 percent. Modern parenting is especially difficult for parents of color—we have to talk about not only “Are we gonna say Santa exists,” but also “Is Santa Black?” Again, this is exactly the conversation that we want to have on the show, because some families might not even realize this is a thing. So we want all perspectives. Something as simple as Santa Claus could cause a big debate, so why not have a conversation with real parents of all backgrounds talking about how they approach Santa Claus, and what race he is? It might sound small, but these are the everyday things we’re thinking about.
“There’s no way in hell I’m letting these kids think that old white man is sneaking into our house and doing anything for them” made me LMAO. It’s… true though!! Are black parents really supposed to tell their children that there’s an old white dude with a big white beard, coming into their homes once a year and leaving them stuff? Why do white parents do that? It’s actually sort terrifying. Anyway, I had a white mom and an Indian father and they told me there was a Santa… a white Santa. I wasn’t mad when I learned that he was fake, because I was a suspicious child anyway and the Santa myth didn’t make any sense to me. Perhaps I can even look back on it now and see that I was already wise to patriarchal fairytales.
As for “is Santa black?” – every year, there’s at least one “Black Santa” story going viral, some of them heartwarming (Mall of America’s Black Santa and NOLA’s Chocolate Santa) and some of them not so much.
Photos courtesy of WENN.
My parents weren’t big on the Christmas magic. I was told everyone has a Santa – it’s their dad. So at school when someone said “Santa brought me…” I thought it was their dad and everyone was in on it (so at least I didn’t spoil anything). We also lived in a town with a large Jewish community so not everyone believed in Santa in school anyway, so it’s not like I stood out or really thought about it.
My husband thinks its not as fun, so we’re doing the Santa thing (even though our kids will be newborn and 2 this Christmas) but I’ll admit it’s really weird for me to leave messages as “Santa”.
We were quite young when we “found out”. We weren’t heartbroken or anything, but my parents told us that Santa is just a way to show kindness and love for others, and now that we knew the truth, we could choose who we wanted to be “Santa” to. Now that I’ve grown up, I think that’s a very sweet way to put it and will be using it with my own kids.
I was afraid of Santa when I was growing up and I am white. I just remember my parents telling me I’d hide from any Santa I saw in the streets. It is a weird idea that some “good” old man comes into your house and leaves stuff for you. Especially when your parents bust their asses off to get those gifts.
I never told my kids because I find this story completely idiotic and a ‘fantasy’ not worth entertaining (just like Disneyland, you’ll never catch my family in that imagination-annihilation place). Also, it’s a moment to get kids meaningful stuff and have a good conversation about desire for consumption and stages in life (first mobile phone, first bike etc). Otherwise it’s a silly and consumerist tradition.
Other tales are far more helpful on a human level like the tooth fairy (who can be white, asian, whatever) because it is a passage in a child’s life to lose the first set of teeth, it’s about growing-up.
My mother said the same thing as D Wade word for word haha
LOL smart woman. Why would you want an old White man getting credit for gifts you paid for? My family never celebrated Christmas so I always knew Santa wasn’t real.
totally agree! I’m white and even I didn’t want my kids thinking some old white dude was bringing them gifts!!!! my husband and I worked overtime for months to give our kids Christmas, somebody else was not going to get the credit for that! lol.
We never did the Santa thing with our kids—my husband has pretty much the exact same response as Dwayne Wade. We did, however, tell our kids that believing in Santa is a fun story for some people to tell their kids, so don’t run around telling other kids that there is no Santa.
I told them the same!
I hadn’t thought of the angle DW brought up but that’s a good point. I did the Santa thing for years w my kids but it was tough once they weren’t really little because it was hard to square that with all of our talks about kids who didn’t have basic needs met. So I was sort of relieved when my kids figured it out. That being said, my son in particular was sad when he figured it out because it was a bit of magic gone from the world. And Xmas presents become a bit more transactional once they know it’s me buying the gifts.
I never understood the point of lying to kids about Santa. It’s completely idiotic and unnecessary. And setting the kid up for heartbreak and not trusting their parents. Why can’t it just be a story? I never had a kid, but I did have little fantasies about my kid ruining Santa for other kids who had been lied to. That would have been funny.
I totally agree
Wow. I never once thought about African American families struggling over the Santa belief decision. But what Dwayne said makes total sense. It’s Friday and a good day for my eyes to be open a little bit wider!
Everyone should do what feels right for them and their family. I grew up with Santa and remember thinking it was magical and fun. Even after I knew better I was into the fun of the myth. I live in a fairly affluent part of NYC where lots of families don’t go in for the whole Santa thing, which is fine, but last year another PARENT told my then 5-year-old Santa isn’t real. I mean, he was already figuring it out but geez. Can we not take it upon ourselves to shatter the illusions of other people’s kids? 🤦🏻♀️
+1
Look, if you don’t want to participate in the myth of Santa, that’s your choice and I get it. That said, don’t pass judgement on those who do. I stopped believing around the age of seven, which I think is the ‘generally accepted’ age. There’s no right or wrong way to do this though. If people enjoy allowing their children to enjoy that aspect of the magic of Christmas, that’s their choice and good for them.
There is over a decade between me and my sister so there was still the ‘Santa’ that come on Christmas. One of my gifts from my mother had from Santa on it. I was 18 at the time and I finally told her, ‘I know he isn’t real. I know this is your handwriting because I have forge it enough through high school’.
Well, I though it was funny.
I honestly wish I’d never told my kids the whole Santa myth and thinking I’ll
fess up this year. Not necessarily because of race, but it just seems pointless, deceptive and feeds into the whole commercialization of Christmas thing. At least they’re over the taking photos with Santa at the mall and my younger kid is starting to show skepticism. My older though, need to let her down gently. My husband thinks I’m heartless but it all seems so ridiculous. Wade has a point. I’d freak if some old bearded dude showed up in my house at midnight.
I love the link to the Santa in New Orleans. 👍 I don’t have kids but I think there’s nothing wrong w letting kids think there’s a Santa. Fun times for them
Due to heavy religious indoctrination and the Santa myth, one of my sisters grew up believing that every time she changed her clothes, bathed, or used the toilet she was being watched and judged. She has lasting, severe physical and mental illnesses related to her body and basic functions.
I am not going to lie to my children, ever.