Jonathan Van Ness @jvn of ‘Queer Eye’ Comes Out: The reality-show star opens up about #addiction, being a sexual abuse survivor, and #HIV-positive, by @alex_hawgood https://t.co/sR4SVkPMtL via @NYTstyles

— André Picard (@picardonhealth) September 21, 2019

As I mentioned last week, four of the five Queer Eye stars have memoirs out this year. The latest one is from the hair guru on the show, Jonathan Van Ness. The book is called Over the Top: A Raw Journey to Self-Love. When I first heard the title, I focused on the ‘Over the Top’ part because he seemed to be poking fun at the persona he plays on air. But reading a few reviews/interviews on the book, it’s the subtitle that really describes his story. Jonathan did, in fact, have a very raw journey to self-love. In his book, he discusses overcoming his addiction to hard drugs, being abused by an older boy when he was a child and learning how to live with HIV. Even though the decision to tell all was hard, he ultimately decided to do so to get people talking about darker issues.

On putting his story out there: I’ve had nightmares every night for the past three months because I’m scared to be this vulnerable with people. It’s hard for me to be as open as I want to be when there are certain things I haven’t shared publicly. These are issues that need to be talked about.

On being available to the public: If you’re having a terrible moment or in the middle of a conversation about something serious, people don’t care. They want their bubbly J.V.N. and to get that major selfie.

On struggling in high school: I was too fat, too femme, too loud and too unlovable

On his assault: For a lot of people who are survivors of sexual assault at a young age, we have a lot of compounded trauma

On finding out he was HIV positive: That day was just as devastating as you would think it would be. When ‘Queer Eye’ came out, it was really difficult because I was like, ‘Do I want to talk about my status? And then I was like, ‘The Trump administration has done everything they can do to have the stigmatization of the L.G.B.T. community thrive around me.’ I do feel the need to talk about this.

[From The New York Times]

The NYT article is a general overview of what’s in the book, so they don’t really go in depth beyond the quotes pulled. The author focuses more on JVN as a subject, specifically how the real person differs from the one we see on camera. The quote about people coming up to him for a selfie happened after a woman approached him at the table while he was in tears reflecting on his abuse. She said she just wanted to tell him how much she loved the show, which is nice, but not the right moment. I’ll admit, there have been times when I’ve found JVN a bit too extra. Not often, but still, I’m looking at him in a new light now. If I get tired of that persona, I can only imagine how exhausting it would be to perform it all the time, especially if it’s a mask to hide what’s going on underneath. It sounds like much of his journey in his book is coming to terms with his abuse and what part that played in his sex and drug addictions. Without having read his book yet, it sounds like he is in an emotionally healthier place.

I think Jonathan’s message about living with HIV (which can lead to, but is not AIDS) is an important one. I grew up when there was so much misinformation about HIV/AIDS. We were so scared of the disease, it made us scared of those who had it, which meant little to no compassion for those afflicted. People like Jonathan opening up about it and destigmatizing it, as he said, benefits us all.

Photo credit: WENN Photos and Twitter