I have a real question to all of our loyal readers: do you also find Brad Falchuk and Gwyneth Paltrow annoying as a couple? I fully admit that Gwyneth annoys me like few celebrities, in that ālove to hate herā way where I end up gleefully writing about her unscientific shenanigans. But Iām talking about as a couple: does the Falchuk-Paltrow brand annoy you? I find them very extra. But I think thatās sort of the point after all of these years. After Chris Martin and Ben Affleck and Brad Pitt, Gwyneth found a guy who wants to pose for cheesy photos and talk her up constantly. Why is that so annoying to me? After all, I defend Blake Shelton and Gwen Stefani, for the love of God. I guess maybe my feelings about Gwyneth on her own affects the way I see her marriage and her latest husband.
Anyway, itās been peak nausea from Faltrow recently. They just celebrated their one-year wedding anniversary (with a selfie) and Gwyneth celebrated her 47th birthday in New York with Brad. Brad posted this message on his Instagram:
Today is Gwynethās birthday so Iām just going to say it – sheās the greatest human being ever. Sheās not perfect – her sense of humor can be a little on the dirty side, she gets very angry at other drivers, isnāt that cheery before her first cup of coffee, considers dehydration to be a character flaw and improperly seasoned food hurts her feelings.
Even with all of these imperfections, her gifts elevate her – blue eyes that see the best in the people she loves and a tireless drive to make sure they see it too. Soft, hard working hands that she uses to make the most delicious pancakes and make you feel at home with the slightest touch. Extreme curiosity and even more extreme bravery to share that curiosity and the places it takes her with the world. Sheās a relentless mother and step mother, the BEST wife, all of her friends know sheās their champion and no one wears clothes as well as she does.
Sheās endlessly fascinating, succeeds at everything she does and drinks whiskey and eats fried food yet still manages to look like that. Happy birthday, Love. I know Iām not the only person to say, thank God you were born. I love you.
On one side, itās super-sweet and we should all be so lucky to have our husbands gush about us this way. On the other sideā¦ wow, Falchuk is really ON BRAND with Gwynethās messaging. ā…Considers dehydration to be a character flaw and improperly seasoned food hurts her feelingsā¦ā One of the Goopiest things ever. Anyway, I still find them annoying, sorry not sorry.
Photos courtesy of Instagram.
Gwyneth has been my celebrity crush for about 15 years. Not in actions, but just in looks. But I just don’t understand how she is in love with JONATHAN CHEBAN!!!! And yes their relationship is annoying for some reason.
Yes, Brad is Buff Cheban
TOTALLY Cheban! That was my first thought.
i love her, but then again i love many women that are not liked in this site. amal comes to mind. go figure
I love Amal, but Gwenyth is someone I find annoying. I like some of what she does, but the snake oil stuff creeps me out.
Did you write that ode to Gwyneth in the nytimes? That was baffling to me…
OMG yes, I knew he reminded me of someone! Cheban! Hahahahahaaaaaaa
Why the need to gush in a public forum? Sheesh. My husband adores me after 22 years and he gushed privately. Which is fine. No one needs to hear that. Itās gross. And totally annoying. And ridiculous. Iām sure sheās approving and editing it.
Many times if you have to publicly declare it to the world in prose and not directly to your partner you’re covering for something. Obviously there’s exceptions, I dont think theyre it though.
My thoughts also.
Yes – the ones who are the loudest are usually the most insincere or troubled.
Normally I’d agree, but these people are celebrities. They want and crave attention. And gushing about each other on social media is the easiest way to get attention.
I think the public gushing is lovely. It’s supportive and kind. They didn’t need to get married–they each have financial security and aren’t going to have any more children. There was no practical reason to push them to make the legal commitment but they did. I think they are adorable and look truly happy. Yes, I may be wrong. It may be a PR move but I don’t want to live in that jaded world. Leave me with my fluffy bunnies, rainbows and true love where people publicly declare how happy/lucky they are.
I believe there have been studies that report that online adoration is actually a sign of a less secure relationship.
Wait a minute!!! How could you possibly celebrate a ONE year anniversary when you DONāT live together???? Of course it is the perfect marriage. He lives in his house and she lives in hers! I would love that set up as I am an absolute classic type A and my husband is not in any sense of the word. There are portions of the house that I have threatened to burn to the ground due to his hoarding. This is not a true marriage in the sense of the word if you both donāt reside under the same roof for that entire year. She makes me want to puke š¤¢
that is actually valid…. what you’re saying about the not living together even when you could
People use social media differently. I like to post daily. Other people are very private. You can be happy with your partner privately or you can shout it from the mountain top, and be just as happy. Doesn’t make either one more “real”.
That pic makes me think heās just as self absorbed as she is.
These two are so up themselves. Tiresome pair. Yawn.
Really. They should just STFU.
this ^^^
Pass the bucket, …. I’m gonna spew.
I donāt know if there are any studies to back me up, but, I have noticed that the couples that publicly gush the most tend to have the most fragile and unsatisfying relationships in private.
That’s my opinion as well. Couples gushing over themselves on FaceBook endlessly, and then divorce.
Claire, totally. My husband gushed about me on Facebook and talked about his adorable kids, all while completely ignoring us/rejecting me in real life (this was all pre divorce – literally the first thing he did when I told him I was leaving him was defriend me in FB!). And Iāve had women tell me privately awful stuff about their husbands and then I see them gushing about those same men in Facebook posts. And yes, G annoys me in her own and they annoy me as a couple.
YES! I can back that up with at least 3 couples who would fawn and fall all over each other on Facebook and Instagram who have had very nasty divorces. Turns out they were trying to convince each other that they were in love with all those messages. One woman I know has a habit of posting the most loving, sweet, daily messages about her boyfriend/husband of the moment and when it’s over, you just sit back with your popcorn because dirty laundry is about to be aired.
My experience too. The couple’s I know who have “the best” partner complain later about how they’re thinking divorce or miserable.
The last best mom ever comment I saw was from a guy whose partner drank, and smoked while pregnant, and insisted the newborn could only sleep with a blanket on its head …??? Not sure they’d get my vote for best parent(s) but ok, compared to the zero other woman he’s impregnated she’s the best mom.
Agree completely with this!
It’s the perfect Insta-Life syndrome.
Falchuk is the one whoās extra, Gwyneth is actually quite reserved about their relationship.
I find it amusing but sweet. But I have a soft spot for any man who isnāt afraid of a successful woman his own age.
+1000
Gwyn is extra in the way that she has to try to get a zinger out on a ton of different celebrity instagrams. She comes off as desperately trying to be a cool girl. Which – if she’d tone it down a touch would be more believable. But I think she wants to be adored on socials the way that Chrissy Tiegen is.
So true about wanting to be the cool girl. I remember from an interview early in her career (when she had just broken out in Seven and as Brad Pittās new gf) where she talked about sneaking out of the house when she was in high school to go clubbing and leaving a note for her parents to ground her in the morning. It may very well be true but it still made me roll my eyes. Sheās always given off that āIām such a cool girl, donāt you wish you were me?ā vibe from the beginning. Itās weird, I actually quite like her as an actress (she really does have that It Factor) but I find her public persona insufferable.
Have you seen the guys Insta page. He gives me such a “soft on” he acts like a pathetic 16 year old boy gushing like a twit about his new wife. Seriously unsexy. I would tell my husband to tone it down a little. But then again Gwenyth is a narscissit. She probably loves it.
There is also a social media thing when you cheat on your wife, marry a new woman and then have to prasie this new relationship to high heavens. It’s the love of the universe – like no other. Move over rich burton and liz taylor. It kind of has to justify the fact that they did the dirty on their last wife/family.
INSANELY annoying.
Listen, Iām one of those blessed people who truly finds my spouse to be the most perfect, wonderful, amazing guy. I tell HIM how wonderful he is, all the sweet things, every aspect I adore etc etc. You know who I donāt tell? The entire internet.
It seems so disingenuous to me. Make a post saying you love and adore her and leave it at that. The rest, to anyone besides Gwen, is obnoxious drivel. If you feel that much of a need to share your deep adoration with the world instead of intimately with your spouse then I think youāre overcompensating and youāre annoying!
Yes. Love and adoration in real life is sweet and lovely. But the same sentiments, in depth and detail like that, all over social media, are revolting to me.
Totally annoying, yes. (Plus, that 5 o’clock shadow look is NOT working on hubs. So awful!)
He looks like an old woman in that photo.
Omg that was nauseating
It was & I was eating when I read it. I truly believe their are Goop rules which include as 1. Always flatter The Goop. Preferably in public where mass strangers shall read and envy The Goop.
I still find it odd it took a year of marriage to live together. Plus āgreatest step mom?ā I was under the impression that his kids donāt especially love The Goop. Maybe they came around but I did find it interesting
@snappyfish, can you please make more rules? Found the first one hilarious
It’s kinda sweet, but i think Brad dominates this marriage. He still looks douchey to me, and i have this awful feeling that he will eventually cheat on Goop too.
I think when she dated those other men, social media wasnāt a thing.
Of all of her exes, Chris seems to be the only one who is private. The others seems to like attention…
No, because I donāt pay them any attention at all.
And yikes, all that money and he canāt afford to fix his teeth?
This is what occurred to me yesterday after I saw a post about these two on Lainey. I tried for a moment to put my finder on why so annoying? But then i went about my own business because they are and I am not sure I need to feel bad about it. They just look like fairly arrogant people thinking they are above the masses. That annoys me and that’s probably it
All gushy, thirsty couples annoy me. I get really uncomfortable seeing this kind of thing from people I know in real life even.
If she didnāt push anti-science bullcrap, I would regard her as eccentric and harmless.
They are profoundly, exponentially annoying together. Also, capitalizing āBESTā wife makes him look like a disrespectful douche. Yeah, Brad, we know you left your first, not best, wife for Gwyneth. PS, So do your kids.
awww you are so right
that was not cool
good point
everything else to me was fine
like Eva said above, its great that they are same age and he’s not afraid of her success and power
Iām annoyed by her even more after listening to the podcast āAmerica dissectedā where they talk about her pushing quack science and how it exploits womenās fears and distrust of the healthcare industry.
We should be afraid of the healthcare industry. It sucks, and there are far too many incompetent people practicing medicine.
As someone who has worked for 20+ years in the healthcare industry I take issue with your comment. Yes itās not perfect but to make such a generalization is quite frankly wrong and troubling. Whatās more offensive is that people exploit peopleās distrust for profit. I had a guy tell my hairdresser he was going to get turpentine to get rid of the āwormsā in his body because he read about it on the āinternetā You may not like us based on whatever terrible experience you have had but my fear is for people like him that gets all his information off the internet. Thereās nothing wrong with questioning healthcare providers who you feel donāt give great care (Iāve always encouraged this) and I have stressed to people about the importance of being your own advocate. Iām sorry that you donāt have a great viewpoint of the healthcare industry but some of us are doing the best we can.
Sheās a pretentious twit who would be nowhere without mummy and daddyās money and connections. Canāt stand her and he seems to be fairly self-absorbed also.
I find any celeb couple going over the top PDA annoying whether pawing each other constantly on the red carpet (A&B in their heyday) or gushing posts like this. This is on brand for Brad F though since heās a writer who always goes over the top (see The Politician). A simple declaration of love is impossible for him.
Jeez, he is a bad writer then.
Lol I just assumed Gwyneth wrote his posts.
Every word she speaks seems like she views her career and success as a God given right. She just seems eternally smug and found a mate that mirrors her navel gazing privilege.
I hope his Netflix show bombs.
Omg this made me laugh out loud hard. Thanks!
Doubtful. Im betting Ben Platt gets an emmy nod next year.
It’s easy to be blissfully happy when you have unlimited money, grown/teenage kids, and you barely see your spouse. Sign me upppp!
Iāve been watching the first few episodes of The Politician, and it feels too much like The Royal Tennenbaums with a splash of Rushmore. Brad is a Wes Anderson wannabe.
lol
i couldn’t get thru that obnoxious opening
Ryan Murphy is his producing partner. Together they have BOTH produced Glee, Pose and American Horror Story.
And based on Ryanās own movies heās produced like Running with Scissors, I would say he was the Wes Andersen wannabe.
But they also co-produce my latest guilty pleasure show “9-1-1”
It does look and feel like Royal Tenenbaums 2.0, but I have to admit, I really like it so far (2 episodes in). I even enjoy Gwyneth as the mom – I love that she’s willing to appear as the mother of three pretty much grown-up men, some actresses her age would shy away from that in order to look younger.
Her sons are supposed to be teenagers though. I think part of the ājokeā of the series Is how old all the āhigh schoolersā look. The Politician is too pretentious in its Wes Anderson wannabe ness (twee twee) but I also think Goop is the best actor in it and I actually enjoy her. Shocked me haha.
Yeah, I know they’re supposed to be teenagers, but still – she COULD be the mom of a 26 year old (Platt) and she’s not afraid of showing it. The whole Goop thing annoys me to no end, but I guess I always liked her as an actress. (Shocking realisation for me as well, haha)
So far it a hate watch for me.
Very annoying but somehow you want to keep watching, same as goop and Brad.
All of the ‘bad qualities’ he listed reeked of Cool Girlness. I’m surprised he didn’t say she yells at the TV while watching sports.
Lol @um it made me think heād married Jennifer Lawrence for a second.
Considering I have been calling improperly seasoned food GOOP for awhile now, I agree. It does hurt my feelings.
They’re annoying bc they often fall into gloating territory. Gwyneth pushes the status quo that the rich are better than you, esp in today’s trying times for many economically.
These ppl are tone deaf, but we can return the favor of being deaf to them.
I just wish he’d sort his teeth out. I’m sorry but they look yellow and awful š
I was scrolling looking for comments about his teeth.
They are disgustingly gross!
Gag!
Would have thought dear Gwyneth would have stipulated his acquisition of veneers in her
pre-nup.
Surprised she has “invented” a teeth whitener for him, i. g. eating the carapace of a saltwater crab, while walking barefoot in the grass with a boiled egg in his anus.
Bet he smells of fags and coffee
Omg his teeth are gross!!!
Would she love him if he was poor? Would he love her if she were unattractive?
She’s so anal about everything I’m surprised she lets him kiss her without sorting out his stained teeth.
I don’t follow them on social media, but just reading this was enough to let me know I’ve made the right decision.
They seem well suited to each other, and that’s not exactly a compliment.
He looks like Kim Kardashian’s best friend I forget his name.
the gay chef?
See above, Jonathan Cheban lol
I suggest that they be called Palchuk instead of Faltrow. After all Goopy comes first in everything!
I am enjoying the visual image of Goop dramatically sobbing on a balcony, screaming at the wind that her barbarian of a husband put too little cumin in the rice.
I am sorry but the first flaw he mentions is a dirty sense of humour?????
Idiot.
Yeah, right!? I think my dirty sense of humor is a pro!
It’s like a job interview. “My faults are that I just care TOO much and I have trouble turning work off. Sometimes I am just TOO committed.” šš
Can you imagine being a teenager and your parents gushing like this on social media? I feel for their kids.
That is the first thing I thought of when I read it. I’d pray for the planet to quietly murder me.
I find her insufferable.
On please, Goopy totally wrote that birthday message for him to post! They don’t really annoy me but I do think they are very fake and so is their marriage.
Oh god. I love to be talked up, but if a partner ever wrote some sh-t like this, I’d be cringing so hard. It’s so bad.
Also that bit about the “improperly seasoned food”…all this from literally the whitest white girl to ever exist? Seriously? You really expect me to believe this about Gwyneth, Brad Falchuk? I think the assumption that anyone would accept this drivel is what’s most offensive, LOL.
I do think the way someone feels about a person colors how they see everything about them. I don’t find this particularly cheesy. Itās sweet.
And as an example of this I al going to bring up the way Alexis Ohanian gushes about Serena Williams on his insta. No one calls it cheesy or over the top. We call him husband goals. And he is. And maybe thatās how Brad Falchuk feels about Gwyneth. And thatās awesome. Especially considering that this is the second marriage for both. But I also donāt hate Gwyneth and I dont hate Serena so there you go. Lol.
Yes I find this annoying whether celebs or my friends on fb.
Her hair is looking very healthy! Those big waves suit her
He’s like … the dude version of her.
“She eats fried food and still looks like that.” The [bleep] you say.
That “relentless mother and stepmother” thing? Now THAT I believe.
He is really into her blue eyes, he likes to mention their color a lot.
I found my East Asian, boring brown-eyed self in a relationship with someone who, I gradually discovered, worshipped the blonde haired, blue eyed ideal. It was a painful several years that involved cheating, gaslighting, and other shitty behavior on his part.
There’s nothing wrong with his fascination with her eye color, but it definitely caught my attention. If he loves it because he loves her, that’s fine, but I’m seriously wary of guys who fetishize specific physical traits now.
I have a soft spot for him because I love everything Ryan Murphy and Brad do together (except Glee). I liked his school reunion post with his old classmates playing basketball again. Anyway I kinda like Gywneth so this doesnāt bother me. Early marriage days, honeymoon period etc.
My best friend constantly posts on Instagram about how amazing her husband is. The reality is he’s a porn addicted gold digger who pressured her into an open marriage. Brad Falchuk gives me major douche chills.
Ugh. It wouldnāt surprise me If Gwyneth wrote that herself.
This! It sounds exactly like something she’d write about herself. Mother of the year, friend of the year, cook of the year, clothes wearer extraordinaire and don’t ever forget, SOFT HANDS!
I don’t need to read a word they say. The photos themselves prove the “extra” factor. They are a perfect match! Both look smug, arrogant and entitled. Brad is really grooving on himself. How special they must feel!
That second pic…
He reminds me a bit of Kaley Cuoco’s new guy, who looks at the camera like he thinks it’s there for him, not because he has a celebrity hanging off of him.
His teeth do look awful in this photo, but they don’t look like that in others. Now I’m trying to figure out why they look so bad in this one. Bad filter? Did he just drink of bottle of red wine?
There was a blind item last year about how terrible his teeth were around their wedding time. Something is wrong, like they are brown and ish, itās nasty. You think she would have found a snake oil cure for that by now or just, you know, made him actually go to the dentist and get them cleaned.
I have always found him hard on the eyes.
She yells at drivers?!?! What an asshole.
Wow, he must be a smoker, given his teeth. He does go on on instagram, but maybe she’s enjoying the change since Chris was so private and never seemed to want to be seen at any kind of hollywood type event with her. I know she seemed to be cool with it, but maybe it got old after a while. I do wonder what the first wife thinks, all that gushing would be difficult to bear, if the breakup was hard for her. I’d try to avoid it, but that would probably prove challenging too.
My apologies if someone else has already mentioned this, but the “tribute” reads/sounds like a woman wrote it.
Am I the only one here who thinks that he is GROSS??? I mean, perfect for Goop because it is a pleasure to watch someone so insufferable get her just just physical specimen as a mate, but he just looks…dirty. Neither of them do anything at all for me.
Well she sure isnāt scientifically or intellectually curious…selling her damn quackery!