I didn’t watch or listen to Selena Gomez’s entire interview on the Zach Sang Show. I just found the quotes and we discussed that. Basically, Selena wouldn’t say that her new songs are about Justin Bieber, even though she left a million clues that of course they’re about Bieber. And then she said that she hopes that the guy she’s singing about actually listens to the music. I found it… difficult, you know? As I said, Selena has every right to make music and sing songs about her exes. But to constantly make all of these allusions to Justin, who is now a married man, in music and in interviews, it just doesn’t seem healthy. Well, Selena had more sh-t to say in that one interview, plus she had some sh-t to say to Ryan Seacrest. Some assorted quotes:
First love can be toxic: “You’re in a phase of life where you experience love for the first time and I think that can just be just a little toxic. You have this codependency that you think is love and then you have this addiction to the passion and the frustration with each other that you think, ‘Oh, that’s love,’ or fighting or doing all this stuff, ‘Oh that’s love,’ and I believed that for a long time.
She’s been single for two years & she’s looking forward to having a boyfriend: She knows she wants her next relationship to be “real” and doesn’t want it to be “messy” or feature codependency or a lack of communication. “I think you know when you get older, you find people that are actually right for you, that are actually on the same wavelength. I’m chillin right now, you guys. Honestly that [dating] is so stressful so I’ve been having way too much fun being on my own. It sucked for the first year, I was like, ‘I just wanna cuddle, I just wanna watch something and be adored.’ Now it feels good. Now it feels awesome.”
Her lyric about an ex who moved on after “two months”: “I’ve actually experienced that a million times before…And that’s the unfortunate part about what I do. It’s all very real to me and I’m sure it’s all just entertainment for other people, but I think I had become numb to it. And it would be stupid of me if I didn’t acknowledge what I had felt, because it would be inauthentic, because it’s everything I claim to be and do.”
“I’ve actually experienced that a million times before…” Like, twice? Justin Bieber moved on from Selena in a few months. The Weeknd went back to Bella Hadid rather quickly after Selena dumped him… to get back with Justin. I mean, once again, it just doesn’t seem healthy. But I think that’s the point? Selena and Justin were unhealthy from the beginning, and they would cycle in and out of each other’s lives constantly and it was always toxic drama and then… he tried to move past all of it. And she’s still stuck in the cycle a bit? Or maybe I’m just being ungenerous. Maybe she’s really moved on and she’s truly happy being single. Yeah. I don’t know.
Photos courtesy of WENN.
She looks so pathetic putting out an album and going on a publicity tour about a guy that just got married to someone else… I typically like Selena just fine, but this is so weird.
Then the news about her dumping her kidney donor makes her look even more pathetic. She’s a loser.
That’s b.s. about her dumping her kidney donor. They’re still in each other’s life. I just saw an interview of her (Francia Raiza) and she talks about listening to Selena’s new music and how much she was “shaking her ass“ to it. Some people just believe anything they read I guess. 🙄
She seems miserable, heartbroken and still can’t let go. She and Justin were addicted to each other.
I don’t know why it’s bad for her to talk about it? Pretending you’re out of it or pretending it didn’t matter and jumping into other relationships is a lot more unhealthy. I don’t know how admitting your relationship was unhealthy is unhealthy?
They haven’t even been broken up for that long … her songs are not about how she’s still in love with him or revealing some kind of secret between them. I don’t find it disrespectful, it’s her position. If she’s still on about it in three years, then we can talk about whether she’s moved on correctly.
It also just feels like we can pick and choose when we support women. This is not a miley situation, this is a woman who has struggled with her mental health and physical health stepping back out into the spotlight and being incredibly honest. I feel like that’s a situation where the words “pathetic” and “desperate” should be left out.
+10000
I agree.
I hear you, but everything doesn’t have to be shared in the spotlight. Sing the songs you wrote, and do your thing… But why publicize your old relationship, where the other partner just celebrated their wedding and try to capture his attention so blatantly? I’m sorry, that’s unhealthy, and yeah, pathetic.
I think that’s cruel, honestly.
She’s not talking about his new relationship or his marriage or making any direct comments about Hayley. Not a peep saying she’s “uncool” or such.
For her, this is probably therapeutic. It’s also just as much a part of her story and brand as Pete was to Ari. As britney was to Justin. So on and so on.
Let her heal the way she needs to.
🙄 That’s not pathetic at all. People heal in their own way.
Absolutely. When I got out of a very toxic relationship, I jumped into another one like 3 months after the breakup. Thankfully, he was the exact opposite of what I had finally left, but I still had a lot of baggage I had to deal with to be truly happy. It took me two years after that relationship ended to truly be happy with myself. It takes time, years, to get over someone that’s been in your life for so long, especially if it’s a horrible relationship in which you lose a part of yourself.
Thank god I didn’t have to do that so publicly, like Selena. She’s in her late 20’s, still figuring out life. Let her process what she needs to in order to make her life better.
I agree. Don’t get what the big deal is about an artist using a past relationship for inspiration, she is far from the first and won’t be the last. Not saying it’s the healthiest thing, or that she won’t regret it in two years, but it’s very normal and I don’t think she’s being creepy or anything. Just young. I feel like there’s a weird double standard because she’s a young woman.
As for wanting a new relationship to be less toxic and codependent…girl, work on yourself because until you do that, your relationships will be on repeater.
I agree that it’s not super unhealthy or a big deal. It takes awhile to put out an album. It’s not like she wrote all these songs yesterday. She probably wrote them a long while ago.
Musicians have always written and sung about their personal relationships, break ups and make ups. It’s just that there is no mystery or anonymity anymore when it comes to celebrities, so we all know exactly who they’re singing about and exactly how long ago their relationship started/ended, and we know everything up to date, right now, as it’s happening. So a song that was written last year about a then-fresh break up is already super “out of date” by the time we hear it on the radio. And everyone thinks it’s creepy or clingy of the artist to have a song out about an ex who has moved on. But aren’t these universal feelings? Being sad about break ups? Feeling like you got lost and codependent in your young relationship? I don’t think we need to analyze every single song and say that it can only be about this particular woman singing directly to this particular man. It’s more like she was inspired by a universal theme (breakups are sad), and she wrote a song that speaks to her own experience but also to other people’s experiences with that theme.
I feel the same way about people criticizing Taylor Swift’s songs. She doesn’t say the names of her exes in her songs. We just all play detective and figure out who they’re written about because we follow her love life extremely closely. What are artists supposed to write about if not their own life? How are they supposed to ensure that the public isn’t already “over it” by the time their songs about their love life come out?
Yup!
I feel sometimes people share too much and some things should be discussed with a therapist. She does not seem to be over Justin and that’s too bad. She needs to practice the fine art of erasing exes and pretending they don’t exist.
Eh, little weird but not unhealthy in my opinion, yet. Perhaps she wrote this music 1.5 years ago when the break up was fresh and now she has to talk about it. A lot of music is about ex partners and heartache and moving on, this is nothing new.
Exactly. It takes a long time to put an album together. We don’t know when these songs were written. It might have been a year ago.
Yep & this was also in that interview, but not part of the selected pieces to highlight (I side eye this….). She says she wrote the 1st song a year ago & then wrote the second song more recently. She said she wanted to address what was already out there, tell her story in song, put an end to it and that the rest of the album was not about her past relationship. I did watch that interview (sick this week, so I’m watching crap I normally wouldn’t take the time for) and these snippets don’t tell the flavor or details of that interview well.
+1,000,000
“First love can be a little toxic.” Sweetie you know that’s just you, right? People have all kinds of different first love experiences.
she is right. for many people first loves are toxic because you have a lot of issues of your own you haven’t dealt with yet and you’re not mature and it shows. some people have a lovely experience with their first love and that’s a total dream, but many will recognize selena’s words as truth and resonate with them.
That’s why she said ” can be” she’s not saying this is how it always is.
First love can be toxic. Oh I’ve experienced that a million times before.
One of these things doesn’t look like the other.
lol, my first million first loves.
Lol, yes! Thanks Mabs, I needed a good giggle 😄
I don’t think its weird that the songs are about Justin. I think that’s normal and part of being a songwriter – turning what happens in your life into music. I think its weird that she seems to be sending him these messages via interviews. Just let the songs speak for themselves.
Co-sign
I’ll tell you the truth, I cannot stand Hailey Baldwin so this makes me laugh because I know she must be busting a gut.
Justin Timberlake’s career is thanks to him working out his feelings about Britney for like his first two solo albums, so I can give Selena the same courtesy.
C’mon. Justin B is “that ex” for Selena. Many of us have that one ex that shook us to our core and pretty much fkd up our heads and hearts for a while. If she wants to use singing and writing about it to help her, I have no issue. Its cathartic for her. And I’m glad she realized that being alone can be healthy and good. I learned that a little later than she did. I wish her well.
timberlake is the biggest d-bag around.
As a singer or any creative person I don’t think it should be dictated to you how you express yourself most love songs come from personal or a friends experience. I just don’t like it when it’s done in such a nasty bitter way like Taylor Swift….i appreciate the way Adelle keeps the guys tha ‘ broke’ her heart discreet.
I am not a fan of silver earrings when the rest of the outfit is gold-toned.
Selena comes off pretty measured. When she was getting a deluge of hate from Beiber fans when they started dating, she said something like, “I get it. I had a crush on Jessie McCarthey as a kid. ” She has certainly been through a lot with her health problems. A lot of pop stars her age and older could learn from her maturity.
I think in another 5 or 10 years, she will look back and greatly regret all this.
She stayed quiet about her very public relationship and messy break-up for two years and then she released two songs about how hard it was & how she is doing better and we drag her for it?! And him being married should not be a shield for women not being able to talk about what a dick he is. This is disappointing to see here & maybe the author should take the time to watch the interview that they keep using as fodder for articles. It seems more responsible then this.
She did say, more than once, that these two songs are the only two on the album that are about him and she wanted to put them out there first, sort of like to get rid of them, because they were written more than a year ago when the break up was fresh and they no longer reflect how she feels now.
She also admitted that they are some of the weakest material on her new album.
So…why they hell are we nitpicking her to death?
Because no one is actually reading past the headline. It’s really weird to see some of these comments ripping her apart and calling her pathetic. It’s not like she wrote the song the day it came out.
I read that she wrote the first single at least a year ago and that she doesn’t feel the same way she did when she wrote the song. But she still has to promote it, and obviously the single was chosen because it would grab headlines. I’m not a Selena fan, but there’s nothing wrong with what she’s doing. This was an important time in her life and she has every right to express her feelings about it in her music.
Was she Bieber’s first love? Haily and Justin were on and off just as much as he was with Selena. Hailey was just not as famous. He made the right choice. Hailey is nuts and stalkerish but seems nice. Selena is mean and cruel. What she did to her kidney donor/best friend is wrong. Selena is a loser.
Stop reading fake news! Francia Raiza is still in her life. She mentioned listening to Selena’s new music. If you don’t like SG that’s fine I’m sure she’s no angel , but cut it out with all this false information.
“He made the right choice.” Hailey is nuts and stalkerish but seems nice.” All kinds of wrong with that statement. Yikes 😬
It doesn’t seem like she’s pining away for him or trying to manipulate him into coming back to her. It sounds like it’s a part of a healing process from an emotionally traumatic relationship. If Justin was allowed to drag her to hell and back through his music, she should be able to speak her piece too, especially if it’s in regards to healing. It’s not malicious, it’s the truth. She’s speaking to what she went through. Every woman who’s went through that sort of emotional abuse or any abuse, should be allowed her voice and to say her piece, without everyone dismissing her as wanting attention. And what she says in her interviews is also truth. She seems to be coming from a place where if one of her fans is in the same toxic dynamic, maybe her words can help them find parallels in their own relationships and to realize their unhealthiness, and to find strength to move away from that and that they too can heal. That’s what I get from it all, anyways.
I am a little sad for Selena. In some ways I applaud her honesty, or at least her perceptions of life and perspective on things, but I think she is sacrificing her dignity too much. I’m a proud woman who can’t fathom putting on a pitiful, public display over any man, ever. Especially when that man has moved on and married, over a year ago. I think JB caused Selena a lot of damage, likely with drugs and drinking to some extent, amongst many other things. Young and stupid love. I can’t fathom why SG is still mooning over that relationship and letting herself look like a vulnerable schmuck unless…she wants to win him back? Destroy his marriage because she still thinks they belong together in some twisted Romeo and Juliet, ride or die, scenario? Perhaps this is about pride after all. If she wins him back will she feel like she has won?
Singers have been writing about their personal lives for ages – and personally – I think it makes the best music. Everyone relates to heartbreak. In her case though, I don’t think she has actually healed. It’s more like she just wants to keep the money train rolling because her relationship with him was profitable and she has very little talent. I don’t understand these “on-off” relationships anyway. Obviously it’s not going anywhere long term if you can’t stay together for longer than a few months at a time. There’s no future with that. You’re young Selena, move on.