I’ve been dyeing my hair for years now. I had so much premature grey in my 20s, and at this point, I have no idea how much grey I have. I’m probably about half-grey now? Something like that. Anyway, dyeing my hair is my body, my choice, and it makes me feel better about myself. I wish I could be one of those women who “pulls off” grey hair and looks like a boss, but I’m ridiculously vain about this one thing. Let me have this one thing. I don’t wear makeup, I rarely wear anything other than jeans or sweatpants, LET ME HAVE THIS. Anyway, Keanu Reeves’ girlfriend Alexandra Grant is a silver-haired lady and she really pulls it off. She’s only 46 years old and she’s all-silver. This week, she posted a message on Instagram about her hair:
Alexandra Grant, the artist who has lately hit the headlines for her romance with Keanu Reeves, has spoken out on her natural approach to beauty. On Wednesday the 46-year-old posted an Instagram grab of the Newsweek headline: ‘Breast Cancer Linked To Permanent Hair Dye And Chemical Hair Straighteners In Study Of Almost 50,000 Women.’
The artist explained why she hasn’t dyed her gray hair in years, writing: ‘Wow. Today’s news… The numbers are staggering, especially for womxn of color. I went gray prematurely in my early 20’s… and dyed my hair every color along the way until I couldn’t tolerate the toxicity of the dyes any more…In my 30’s I let my hair turn “blonde”… I love and support that every womxn can choose how she wants to look at every age. But/and, if womxn are perishing from beauty standards… then let’s talk about those beauty standards. Love to all womxn!’
We love a woke silver queen. I honestly didn’t know that hair dye was so f–king lethal and cancerous… but I’m still going to dye my hair. She’s right about beauty standards though – how many professional, working women feel like they *need* to have dyed hair to maintain some kind of “standard” of youth/beauty in an ageist, sexist and racist society? I think of that all the time when I watch some over-60 female journalists still maintaining the perfect ashy blonde. Anyway… Alexandra seems like an interesting person.
Photos courtesy of WENN, Instagram.
Her choice and she should not need to explain, but of course…..
Coverage of Alexandra’s post got the Newsweek article to me and I’m now trying to find reddish golden blonde dye without harsh chemicals. There’s red-blonde henna, but it looks really bright? I’ve had so many health issues, I don’t want to risk breast cancer for my hair. But like Kaiser, I feel like coloring my hair is the ONE THING I do to really take care of my appearance – and it makes me feel better about myself. What to do, what to do…
Not an expert, but I believe there are natural toning options for henna to take down the brightness (?)
Just so you know henna has a lot of heavy metals like lead and such. I learned that the hard way. I was using it for my hair for years and it was falling out. Turns out the only natural henna is red-brown henna. Every other color is not natural at all.
Presumably getting foils would be better than anything which goes directly onto your scalp.
I can’t believe that’s any different – they still brush your scalp with the color when they use the foils, if only accidentally. No, it’s not even accidentally because any colorist is trying to get as close to your roots as possible. It’s the same thing.
@ Nancy,
That is true, but foiling involves a fraction of the hair that a full color would involve,
so there’s probably a lesser risk. I do believe ( I may be wrong ) that the study was conducted on full head color?
I will add that I used to color my hair and I, too, had a breast cancer scare. I remember years ago reading that hairdye is linked to cancer, and that’s one reason why I stopped coloring my hair.
And I had foils.
And as I think about it, almost everyone I know who has had breast cancer colored their hair.
Wouldn’t that be, though, because almost every woman you know colours their hair? In my circle 3 of my friends have had breast cancer: 2 coloured their hair, one didn’t. But when it comes right down to it, I’d say probably 80% of the women I know colour their hair, so there’s bound to be overlap between those numbers and those who end up with breast cancer.
@Julie Taylor, Actually most women I know don’t color their hair. I don’t live in a big city. I would say it’s for many reasons. Some are in the arts and it just doesn’t matter to them. It’s definitely too expensive for most people I know in terms of maintenance. And it’s hard to find anyone around here who would do a good job.
I have one friend whose hair turned white when she was in her 30s. She’s stunning, and her white hair is beautiful too.
I let my hair go gray when I moved to a small town where most women also were gray. I was a member of a choir and used to sit in the back row, marveling at all the beautiful shades of gray in front of me. I decided, What the heck!
Yep, that was me. Now I’m trying to get my sister-in-law to quit dying her hair because she had breast cancer also last year.
I dyed my hair for 30 years and then I got breast cancer in 2016. I had heard inklings of this before so I decided to go silver shortly after I was done with all my cancer treatments. I have to say I absolutely love my natural color. It’s really pretty, especially after I use purple shampoo every so often. I’m loving the savings, the time not spent smelling toxic chemicals in the salon chair…..the freedom is amazing.
I’ve been letting my hair just go grey. Mostly because I don’t have the time and I just don’t want to spend the money anymore. I’d love it for my hair to go fully grey like hers. I don’t like this salt-pepper thing I have going. I find it annoying. I support women always have a choice. You want to dye your hair, dye it. You don’t, don’t. Worshipping youth is just getting to be exhausting after a while.
If I was total grey I would be fine with it. But I agree with my hair dresser that the pepper part of my hair is an ugly brown color and not flattering at all. It’s the one thing I do for myself and am lucky I pay under $100 for color and cut.
Your hair dresser told you your hair color was ugly? 🙁
goofpuff, how are you conditioning/maintaining it? I’m getting those ridiculous hairs at the crown that stick straight up like wires!!! I want to let it go but right now i’m just plucking like crazy – obviously a bad idea.
My gray hair used to be more wiry when it first started changing into salt-and-pepper, but now my hair is soft. You just reminded me of the early years. I wonder what changed it? For what it’s worth, I use Devachan hair conditioner.
Plucking will make it come in even more crooked.
You’re right – it’s that salt-and-pepper thing. It looks bleergh and makes one feel bleergh. The grey, white or silver is lovely, but I’m like Kaiser – it’s my one thing!
Don’t put vanity before your life. Salt and pepper hair looks just fine.
I had white blond hair as a child that darkened to a medium ash blonde (I really disliked, to me it looked like mud) and started experimenting with color in my late teens. In my early 30s I went brunette and never looked back. Then in my 40s it just became to cumbersome for me to keep up with the gray roots and decided to gradually go back to blonde to make them blend. I was 57 when I decided to go Au Naturel. It was a long process because I look hideous with really short hair and it took me almost 3 years to grow it out. My hair is pure white. I keep it in a shoulder length layered bob cut ( i wish I could pull off a pixie cut, love them) and get compliments how great the color looks. I’m glad I don’t have to worry about color upkeep anymore. 😀
Every woman has to decide for herself what makes her feel good. With every other thing in life. —— Your life, your body, your choice.
I agree. I have something like 20 grays, all in the front. I hate them! Since my hair is textured, it looks like cotton and is coarser than my regular hair and makes me look frowsy when I don’t color. I will be likely switching to a vegetable-based formula now that I can afford to, but I will be dying until my hair is all gray, and then I will get a sparkly silver wash and rock the heck out of it!
You go girl. 🙂 Keeping gray hair moisturized is the key. Grey hair has a tendency to be dry and needs more help in that department. I use organic shampoo and conditioner and also use a weekly natural baking soda and vinegar rinse (removes buildup and keeps greys brighter). I’m done with Shampoos/Conditioners with all the chemicals and artificial ingredients. Silicon based products are recommended but I never liked how they make my hair look and feel. There are a ton of products you can choose from but so far my natural/organic hair care works for me.
Some of the issue is that when your hair starts going grey, it also loses its natural highlights. In my family, the women have a beautiful dark brown with reddish gold highlights. As we go grey it turns to a dull brown with the grey just looking sad. When it is all grey, it is actually a lovely silver. So I rotate between various dark brown shades, usually with a bit of red, waiting impatiently for it to go all white.
I’m fully transitioned to my white/natural mix. I think it’s the transition that’s hard on people- I went from being known for my hair so everyone around me gave me grief. I love the freedom I have now and am learning, have learned, how to make the look *rock* with fun glasses, accessories, and a more edgy overall look.
went silver after a struggle. shaved my head and started clean. it’s so beautiful and i get compliments all the time. once you are free you don’t really understand how you did it to yourself. i literally hated every appointment. also: the first year was hard (self doubt, self esteem, ageism). age is beautiful! i like being a role model for confidence, beauty, and self esteem for all my sisters. 🙂
I’m jealous, lol! I started getting white hair in my early 20’s but now it’s 20 years later and my hair is – at most – sort of salt and pepper. I love the idea of having it all white but my hairdresser says it might not ever progress enough to where I’ll really have a full head of grey or white. I mean it has been a long time. and I’m still probably 70-75% dark brown.
My mom actually had to have her head shaved a few years ago for surgery and her hair was so spectacular when it grew back in…my aunt and I thought she was so gorgeous with her white hair but she hated it, so she dyed it as soon as she could.
i bet your salt and pepper is spectacular! 🙂
I got my first white hair at 21, but a quarter of a century later I still just have a sprinkling, mostly above my ears and on top. I quit dying years ago because I didn’t feel like the red tones I prefer looked as flattering anymore, and my silvers are *incredibly* dye-resistant. I love the idea of a headful of silver-white hair, but I will have to live a looooooong time to make that happen, I think. My suspicion is that the tough part, as a dark brunette, would be the 40 – 60% gray range, when your hair provides less contrast with your skin and your eyebrows start to get less defined. My mother dyed her way through that, and was never happy with any of the options because the dark brown looked too harsh and the dark ash blond options looked weird. Her hair looks good now that it’s 80-90% silver, but she’s almost 80 and grayed a lot faster than me.
Keep in mind your hairdresser has some investment in you maintaining coloring it. I love my hairdresser because she’s always telling me my gray hair looks beautiful.
We need to own what we are given. Salt and pepper hair looks fine with the variations of color. A good cut and you’re going to look lovely.
I was prepared to go gray ( I hoped for your silver) but mine turned out to be pure white and I love it and get so many compliments. My hair is a white pixie now, and I have never had such freedom. The most fun thing is when younger women ask me how I got it so white!
in my humble: all shades are beautiful. when i shaved my head so many women said oh i wish i could do that but you know you’ve got a great face for it. it is never the case that there is a perfect face for bald. it is never the case that there is a perfect shade for going grey. we can’t always see our own beauty. i say shave it, wear the bikini, let it go salt and pepper, grey, silver, white. natural is beautiful if only we could see it 🙂 i bet your white is gorgeous!
I’m tempted to shave my head. I’m not worried about face being ‘right’. I am worried that my head is lumpy and bumpy and very much like my dad’s.
She has a gorgeous silver and it suits her coloring. I still dye mine dark despite being about 40% bright white at this point; I think I think I could pull off a dove grey but my natural auburn only goes white and I’d be dying it to get that shade anyway. White or blonde makes me look like a Victorian ghost
lipstick that stays on, blush, more colorful tops that don’t wash you out, and I bet you’d look fantastic.
Even though she is with my all time celebrity crush, I still love this woman! She seems so at peace and comfortable with herself.
She went to my alma mater (Swarthmore College) and I love that (a) she’s dating Keanu bc good for her but also (b) that she just exudes this authentic intellectual bent that I loved most about my college years. She is a quintessential Swarthmore student/alum in my opinion. If we have to give up Keanu to anyone, she is the best choice we could make. (Because clearly the internet is making this match, lol).
I started going white at 18. I’m 38 now and embrace it after 20 years of dying it. I went white instead of silver (thanks mom!) and I get compliments all the time on it. Bonus: I save the time and money that I used to spend every 4 weeks at the salon! More shoes for me!
Laughing with this cognitive dissonance of this post!
It’s hard being a female human and a human. Period.
I was having a chat with my dad about food (I’m vegan for what I consider now obvious reasons and can’t take the debates anymore) and he was all about how it’s impossible to change from a certain age… your tastes. How about the planet? Some things are about higher life and death issues than mere tastes but we choose to reduce the scope and focus on what we are scared to lose. I GET IT and I try to be patient bc in some other areas I am like that too.
I don’t feel like I have the right words to say this but she shouldn’t have to explain herself. If a 40 something man goes grey, he looks “distinguished”. A woman of the same age goes grey? “Why would she make herself look older than she really is?”
Sean, not true about men necessarily. My ex works in the computer industry, where the pressure to keep up with all the young hotshots is enormous. By age 30 he was half grey and began dyeing it a few years later. He really does look good and he’s happy with it. He’s been laid off several times when companies went under and feels looking more youthful has helped him get hired in a youth-focused field.
I’m sorry to hear your husband has faced such discrimination. While I do agree men can face issues with ageism, I’ve always felt women receive the brunt of it.
I think the point of her post was to tell women that hair dye can cause cancer. The point was not to defend why she doesn’t dye her hair.
I appreciate your words, Sean. You’re absolutely right about your take on things.
I let go probably mid 40s? My luscious dark hair started turning early so I did dye. But it started driving me mental, the upkeep, so I committed to let it grow. Funny thing that happened however is that it isn’t silver. It’s the palest blonde with some touches of white platinum and some remaining dark chunks underneath. Now I get complimented for all the colors meshing and I don’t do anything! Yay.
You’re lucky. Mine is a weird stripped of color looking color lol. Started getting grey early because life. And I’m literally about to color my hair today and I go and read this so…sorry God I’m not taking the warning, going to dye until I die which, according to this article, May be sooner than expected.
It takes commitment to go through the rough phases of growing out the dye. It was no fun being approached by hairdressers to visit them so they could ‘fix’ me. I’m not lying. On several occasions that first year, strangers came to me saying they could help. :-/ I started going gray late 20s and early 30s. My grandmother used to push to dye very early on, and I did. But I always washed in a semi permanent solution every six to eight weeks with hair splurges twice a year or so. I just decided one day to commit to saying no lol. I suffered through it and now get compliments. And of course with menopause, I’m grateful for being dye free to help with hair loss. Getting old flat out sucks.
What are womxn? Kaiser, you don’t have to explain dying your hair! Do what you like. 🙂
I saw the explanation as being all inclusive, of transgender and every version of woman.
It’s also a word that doesn’t contain the word “man” (or “men”) in it, as a way of making the word something that isn’t a derivative of the male noun.
that ‘word’ is so silly. you can’t pronounce that. you have to say ‘woman’. so what’s the point?
At this point a significant percentage of our lasting communication is in print, so “womxn”- like an above poster said, is a clear and simple way to show full communion. It’s nice, I think.
Hers is a lovely silver color. Do what you like and don’t worry what anyone else thinks!
I’m 43 and only have a few white strands here and there, but it’s coming! I’ve gotten subtle highlights for years so I’m hoping it continues to blend in because I like my color.
In my life I have never dyed my hair
The same reason I don’t wear makeup.
I AM LAZY.
Haha!
I would love to be able to say: I don’t do it because standards, self acceptance etc etc..
But the truth is my laziness. LOL.
That’s not what the study says though. This is another example of people reading headlines and not looking at anything else. Everyone in the study has a sister with breast cancer. They’re just looking at links. 50k women who have sisters with breast cancer use hair dye? Kind of like 50k women who have sisters with breast cancer drink water and use toilet paper.
Science literacy is important. Your comment leads me to believe you do not understand the study. They studied 50,000 women total. Those that used hair dye had cancer at a higher rate than those who did not, particularly black women. They also explained why it doesn’t impact the findings that the data came from the Sister Study.
Nah, I think you don’t understand it. The study does not specify whether the dyes themselves are to blame or if there are additional factors that mesh. Reading comprehension is important.
“Black women are already at an increased risk of breast cancer, and drawing a clear line to hair products is difficult,” Stephanie Bernik, MD, Chief of Breast Surgery at Mount Sinai West in New York told Newsweek.
As far as their advice for women who dye or chemically straighten their hair goes, Dale Sandler, Ph.D., chief of the NIEHS Epidemiology Branch who was involved in the research, points to the numerous other carcinogenic chemicals people are regularly exposed to.
Brawley advises women use hair dye and chemical hair straighteners very carefully but says there are other things that will have more of an impact on whether someone will develop cancer or not.
“I would also point out that the combination of obesity, consuming too many calories and lack of physical activity has a much higher relative risk for breast cancer in both black and white women,” said Brawley, a former Chief Medical and Scientific Officer of the American Cancer Society.
Michael Jones, Senior Staff Scientist in Epidemiology at The Institute of Cancer Research, said: “It is too early to make a firm recommendation on the basis of one study, and further research is needed. The whole literature needs to be evaluated by expert groups, bringing together the evidence to make recommendations” he told Newsweek. He adds there are limitations to the study”
But thanks, anyway. 👍🏻
She is amazing and I hope Keanu will eventually stop dying his hair, too
Yes!!! Thank you!!
This is such a struggle for me. I want to start letting it go–I’m 43 and definitely going very gray at this point. But I work in tech and already feel old compared to my colleagues (this is a second career for me so I’m still trying to climb the ladder).
Plus, I’m (re) married to a wonderful guy but he’s 7 years younger and we have a 19-month-old, and I just… Ugh. I hate that those things make me feel pressured to look younger.
It’s such a hassle to keep up with the gray roots and I probably should start thinking about whether I can get on board with going natural. This woman is gorgeous and an inspiration:-)
I’m late 30s and so far no grey hair, but I’m already sort of anxious about it. Not going grey in general, but how I’m going to handle it – I don’t want to dye it, I don’t think? My mom didn’t go grey until her 50s but my aunt’s hair turned grey in her 20s (she dyes it blonde.) So right now I’m thinking I’ll stay natural, but we’ll see what happens when the first few grey hairs pop through lol.
Don’t stress about it, especially if you don’t have to! I’ve had some white hairs since my 20s (I knew it’d happen, mom was salt&pepper in her 30s… And she’s still at that stage at 65). I’ve started to have mostly white hair around my face recently and finally gave up and started to dye my hair this year at 34. And yeah, it’s mostly because of ageism, I work in a male-dominated field, I was single and it’s easier to both date and be able to place a word during a meeting if you don’t look like you’re aging (whereas 4-5 years ago, I had to age myself at work to be taken seriously by all those old professors, go figure!). While I like my hair color, I’ll be totally ok with stopping the dye once I’m in my 40s. The most annoying part is the change of texture: you have to re-learn how to deal with your hair because those white ones don’t act like your old hair. But yeah, you’ll figure what you want to do once you get there, enjoy your lack of greys for now!!
I’m in my 60s and have just started to get some silver – I can tell that it’s going to beautiful like my mom’s. I get blonde highlight on my dirty blonde/brown base and will stop when I get enough silver. I am fairly positive that going blonde does not have the negative side effects mentioned in the study – going dark with coal tar dyes is the problem. I see so many women just rocking their silver hair and think it actually looks more youthful as light colored roots tend to look like thinning hair.
Yes, Kaiser, Alexandra is an interesting person. I’ve followed her IG for years now. It’s devoted to art, both hers and others. And she engages with her followers. If you ask a question or remark on a post, she’ll respond to you with a gracious answer. She seems very centered, calm, but with a sense of humor. If they’re serious, Keanu is a lucky guy.
I have curly hair and been straightening it for 10 years now, 1-2 times a year. I stopped this year and am in the process of transitioning back to my curls due to thyroid medication thinning my hair considerably. I could permanently damage my hair if I keep straightening it.
I wish curly hair was not deemed “messy” and “unkept”. Yes, it takes a lot of work to maintain curly hair, but even at our best “hair days” we’re called out for being messy and unpolished. I bet women of colour have it worse.
I have thick curly hair and it’s not any work at all to maintain. I wash, condition, scrunch in a dollop of curl creme and voila, curly hair without the frizz. It doesn’t look messy or unkempt, in fact I get lots of compliments from women AND men on my hair. I also gave up dying it about 10 years ago and I really like the natural look of grey streaks.
well, seems it’s harder for me because my hair is thin and not thick. apparently the only part of my body that’s thin lol
I never think curly hair looks messy or unkempt! And I can’t say I know anyone else who thinks that way, but I guess some do, which is unfair.
As a person with stick straight hair that never has any volume, I’m usually jealous of natural curls!
I agree with you about curly hair often being perceived as messy and even unprofessional. Of course it is possible to have glossy and “smooth” curls that behave and happen to curl in a flattering shape, but (from my experience) it is much more time-consuming and there is still too much luck involved in the outcome each day. When I finally stopped trying to dye my “messy” brown curls, I decided to cut it all off very short and was thrilled to discover that I have gorgeous silver-white hair. I still can’t handle frizzy curls AND gray hair, so I keep it short (too short to curl) in a pixie which I learned I really CAN pull off….I get compliments almost every time I venture out!
i have silver curly hair so i cowash it and it has helped because it ALWAYS looked messy before (after 5 seconds) and it is thick and impossible to tame. so try just conditioning it with a product made for that. also i use oil on it when it’s wet
I have been told by my MIL and some random lady at the gym that “it’s time” to start dyeing my hair. Ummmm…no. I’m good. I quite like my wisdom highlights thank you very much. Gotta love those “helpful” comments.
If you want to dye your hair, do it! If you don’t, that’s awesome! Do what makes *you* feel best, and periodically check in with yourself about that.
I love the term “wisdom highlights”!!
Oh, I steel this wonderful phrase of wisdom highlights from you! Translated to german it‘s Weisheits Strähnchen. I‘m 49 and the first white/grey is shining through. I decided to safe the money and time for lots of fabulous other things than dying my hair.
My mom always says that about long hair on older women. “It’s time to cut that.” No way – it’s your hair, do with it what you like!
I had ankle length hair at 30. When I started my teaching career I trimmed it to knee length as easier to braid. Now, at 75 it’s snow white and butt length. I just left a store after being complimented several times on my hair. Whatever suits you-let it fly.
Sing along, everyone!
“Darlin’, give me a head with hair, long beautiful hair
Shining, gleaming, steaming, flaxen, waxen
Give me down to there hair, shoulder length or longer
Here, baby, there, momma, everywhere, daddy, daddy
Hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair
Flow it, show it, long as God can grow it, my hair“
Long, grey hair is my DREAM. I think it looks absolutely fabulous!
She’s beautiful and seems super cool. And her hair color is my hair goal. I started with a gray streak on my temple in my 20’s and it’s a pretty silver white. I stopped dying my hair almost 3 years ago because I’m lazy. I’ve embraced my streak and the little grays that have come since. I’m hoping that as I slowly go gray, I get her hair color. I’m turning 40 in a couple months and I’m totally okay with my gray.
My mom and aunt both turned salt and pepper with wiry grays, not pretty shiny silver hair. I sadly do not see sexy silver queen in my future…
Context is key. I grew up around women who revered natural over artificial. So of course as a teenager I rebelled and dyed my hair every color Manic Panic offered. Fast forward to 42 and I have a healthy amount of salt and pepper with zero appetite to dye it because of where I live and the culture I was raised in doesn’t apply any pressure to look younger.
Where do you live? I need to know so I can move there 🙂
Hair color won’t stick to my grey hairs! I’m curious what everyone is using to actually color them. I don’t have a ton, but they are a totally different texture than my regular hair and shorter, so they like to stick up and make themselves known.
I wonder about this too, because my silvers have a, like, magical ability to repel dye. Maybe some of the Manic Panic-type deposit colors work well? But I’m guessing that’s higher-maintenance than standard permanent dye. Not that I care at this point, because I just can’t be bothered with that level of hair maintenance anymore.
I don’t have that problem but I do have a fade problem as in my dyed hair fades quickly at times . So my colorist will sometime put me under a big dryer to bake the color in if that makes sense?
I had no idea until I stopped colouring my hair, the silver is naturally curly! Lost track how many people assume I dye my hair. It is gorgeous! So much wasted time and money for years
I have been dyeing my hair since I was 16 and now at 38, some grey in my part is coming in. I would let it go grey, however, I am unmarried and I hate to say it, but generally, in our society, men don’t want to to be with a woman who looks “older”. I showed my best guy friend Keanu’s gf, he is also 38 and single and he said no way because she looked too old. Sadly, the stigma is what has me refrain from letting it go natural.
Sadly my 18 yo son was “horrified” by how old Keanu’s girlfriend looked when their dating first came out in public. I gave him a lecture of course, and noted she is younger than I am and several years younger than Keanu, but still to a young man I guess she looks “old”. ugh. I think the only way to change that male perception is for more women to embrace their natural hair, but it is really tough.
You cannot change “male perception” in such matters. It’s biology, not ideology.
I go to an organic hair salon. Nothing toxic in anything she uses on me. I’m doing the #grombre thing right now. Not sure I’ll go full grey, I like to play with my hair too much to ever stick with one shade.
I do organic hairdye too!
I hate posting this but here is some food for thought, or at least to investigate further (because one should never take bloggers for fact without more research!).
https://thisorganicgirl.com/organic-hair-dye-the-good-the-bad-and-the-ugly/
That’s great and all… but she does not need to explain herself to anyone.
She is so lovely.
I do a weave every 6 weeks to deal with the gray. My biggest issue is the frizz that comes with my gray hairs. I used to have sleek texture, but not anymore! Even with some of the best products, I still have to deal with this frizz thing, especially in the winter when it’s raining outside.
I love her gray hair, the color and texture are both very beautiful.
Jojoba oil helps. So does using a boar-bristle brush.
Dilute pure jojoba oil in water and spray onto your hair after washing/conditioning, then work through with a comb or boar-bristle brush. Be careful not to use to much, and be sure to get enough on the ends. Don’t rinse it out. *Then* apply any “product” (gel, mousse, hair spray, etc), if you use it.
Oh, haha, the texture change.
I am still mostly medium ash with highlights at 53, but have been finding a few white hairs here and there over the last few years.
The first one I found was WHITE and ZIG-ZAGGED, just like my Sheltie’s wooly undercoat, lol.
Sticking straight up from my scalp!
I can’t imagine what I’ll look like in 10 or 20 years…probably like I stuck a finger in an electrical outlet, lol.
I’m in my late 40s and have approximately 3 grey hairs (purely genetic; my brother is in his mid 50s and still has no grey hair). I’m not looking forward to the inevitable because I’m way too vain to go all grey. My laziness and aversion to overspending may take over at some point and I’ll learn to live with it.
Has anyone seen recent pictures of model Erin o’Connor? She is proper salt and pepper and looks amaaaazing.
Do what’s right for you. I’m in my mid 50s and get blonde highlights to blend with my mousy brown gray. My husband is a silver fox and sexy as hell, to me anyway. I wish I looked as good in gray as he and others do!
Do whatever you want as long as you are going with basic cleanliness.
Myself, I do not wear makeup or perfume, stopped wearing a bra, jeans and 100% cotton tshirt with excellent comfy $150 shoes is my outfit of choice.
I want to be clean, comfy and ready to go with a min of labor.
I will spend a bit more for a good haircut, but my days of $150-$200 for color/cut/style are over!
Keanu Forever! He is still my perfect imaginary boyfriend.
Why is WOMAN spelt WOMXN everywhere in this article?
Explained in post #10.
I’m 47 and have been rocking the natural “salt-and-pepper” for two years now.
Gray is gorgeous, silver is spectacular. “Salt-and-pepper” is just silver with low-lights, and is just as gorgeous as other colors with highlights.
And I *earned* my silver, dammit! I’m not a 20-something, don’t want to *be* a 20-something, so why spend so much money putting toxins on my head and into the environment (and breathing them into my lungs) by coloring my hair? Especially since it only looks good for about a week or 10 days because the roots start showing again. Screw that.
GenX has the opportunity to change how gray hair is perceived. I’m very happy to participate in facilitating that change.
yay you!
Great post! Gen X here and not dying / highlighting anymore at 49. I like the silvers mixed in with my ash brown – natural is cool for me!
I’m 32 and have a full head of gray hair. Who in the hell f’n cares. I don’t get fawning articles written about me.
I respect this.
Growing up, my parents were super strict about my hair. It had to be long, and under no circumstances was I allowed to dye it or do any type of harsh chemical treatment to it in anyway.
I’m much older now. I didn’t like that level of control that my parents exerted over my body at that young of an age. I still don’t think that’s okay to do to a burgeoning teenager who just wanted to look and dress like everyone around her for a change. But even as a grown up, I’ve never coloured my hair, not even once. A part of me is scared about damage. I feel like if I wanted to change up my looks, I’d go for a wig, or extensions, or something else. There’s more options these days after all, so that’s good.
I bring up the teenage thing because I’ve been thinking a lot about how I’d raise my own kids if I ever had them. I know I’d allow them so much more autonomy and freedom over their dress and hairstyle and whatever else. But I don’t know if I’d be okay with them treating their hair with harsh chemicals. I’d hope that I’d be able to steer them towards more natural options in this regard. Someone asked me this once and I sincerely didn’t know how to respond, lol, so I’ve been ruminating on it for a while now.
All that said and done, I think she looks gorgeous with grey hair. I think, given the prevalence of young people who are clamouring to dye their hair grey, it’s something that’s hopefully more accepted these days. There is nothing wrong with aging. Age is a gift.
She is a lovely woman and they look great together.
I’m 47, I stopped dying my hair about 4 years ago. I have a sort of Lily Munster thing going on which I think is kind of cool and my husband loves it and those are the only 2 opinions on this planet that matter to me. I have a super young face so the hipsters actually think I dye my hair to look like this it’s funny. My uppity Midwestern neighbors and Church ladies a the supermarket that give me stank face and everyone else can go kick rocks. The ridiculous beauty standards that we need to look like freakin Betty Draper every time we leave the house is nonsense and I am over it.
I stopped dying my hair after my 50th birthday for many reason. I started to dying in my twenties , I experimented all kind of colors, after almost 30 years, I was fed up to spend time and money for the hairstyling. My hair is a beautiful silver and I like it. yes, in Italy there is a great ageism, a woman with Grey hair is seen as an old hag even if she is in her 30es, but I’m so happy to be free from the dying I would never go back.
weird q, what do people think of wigs as an alternative? I have long healthy hair but I have to dye it every month. I’ve found a salon that uses a lower chemical mix and I’m also v light on product, using my own home made cleansers and conditioners most of the time. These have helped but sometimes I think, maybe just have someone else’s hair on my head? Seems icky but could be fun? I’m curious if anyone’s tried that…
My maternal grandpa is still living and has a full head of dark hair. 87 years old. My mother is in her 60’s and has only a few strands of gray. I’m hoping I have that gene because I’m 35, don’t dye my hair, and it’s almost black. My hair dresser is always like shocked I don’t even have one gray hair. I feel like the transition would be especially annoying because my hair is almost black. Not sure what I’ll do?
Same here. Both Grandmothers weren’t very gray and my 80 year old mother still has mostly brown hair. I am early 50’s and don’t colour my hair as any gray I have is barely perceptible. I have used the occasional temporary dye but always think it doesn’t look right. I have seen several friends transition from dyed to natural gray and always think their natural colour looks better.
Pot-stirring here but can we NOT define Alexandra Grant by her association with Keanu? “Keanu Reeves’ girlfriend, Alexandra Grant…” If we’re truly moving forward, even seemingly innocuous things like this, that we all do unthinkingly, should be challenged.
🤣This article on webMD has some facts and tips about gray hair, and apparently race can be a factor in when you should expect start to getting them. https://www.webmd.com/beauty/ss/slideshow-beauty-gray-hair-facts
I agree that she shouldn’t have to explain because her body her choice. It was good that she shared though so people can make informed decisions about hair dye and stuff though. There’s no shame in gray hair. Like Jameela Jamil said, aging is a privilege, and what matters is what’s done with it. 😏
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Well, if my dang hair would go ahead and go silver I might leave it alone but it won’t!
I’m only about 10% gray and I can’t color because it just washes right out, so, I highlight my gray with stuff from Sally’s.
Gray hair will turn blonde with this stuff: Equal parts Blue Flash Powder and 40 developer OR Loreal’s Quick Blue and 40 from Amazon.
I use a tiny, baby comb to streak it and leave it on a couple of hours. What you don’t hit will blend.
I get lots of compliments and I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready to go gray. Maybe.
UNPOPULAR but I don’t see Helen M. in Ms. Grant.
I see Janice from the Muppets.
As someone who also sports natural silver-laced hair, all I can say is, meh. Can we cut the s**t for a minute? IT’S HAIR. Nobody is brave, nobody is “bucking the system”….it’s hair. I went gray because I was curious what I might look like. Period.And while I did talk about it publicly at first (mostly because people wanted me to), I couldn’t shake the feeling that talking about it just perpetuated the stigma that being natural was somehow subversive and “not the done thing.”
I think if these days someone were to ask me about it, my answer would be a lot less ready for print. IT’S F**KING HAIR.
Most nail polish & remover is toxic. Spend the extra $ and get it at the HFS
I think you would have to be living under a rock not to have heard that dying hair is toxic. I am 41 and have know this since I was in my twenties. Luckily I do t have grey yet but I always said when I was younger that I would save the hair dyeing for when I turned grey because I knew it was toxic!
Her shade of silver is quite lovely, not everyone has her luck though.
My question is how in the heck can any woman not wear any makeup? Ever? Yikes!
I am not advocating troweling it on, but I’ve rarely seen a woman that a little blush. some lipstick and subtle mascara won’t improve. And for me, it’s the eyebrows. I have an extremely full head of hair for my age (70s – thanks Dad!) but my eyebrows have really thinned out. Without eyebrow pencil and powder I just look weird. (Remember David Bowie in his no eyebrow days?)
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There is a Facebook page called Going Gray Guide, which is a private group that you can apply to join, and members can post their photos, product recs, questions… it’s so inspiring.