US Magazine has two stories claiming that Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck’s co-parenting relationship isn’t as rosy as previously reported. It seems like US divided up one print story, which didn’t even make the cover, into two sourced stories on the website. It sounds like Jen is so fed up with Ben that she’s finally letting the cracks show in the leaked stories to Us. Remember US is Jen’s go-to outlet. It’s a little surprising to me, though, that she’s being painted as somewhat of a perfectionist. It does sound like they’re hinting that Ben either isn’t sober or that she just suspects he’s drinking again. At first I thought these stories might be leaked by Ben’s side, but now I think Jen is just being self deprecating. Here are excerpts from those two stories on US:
Still adjusting to their new normal. Ben Affleck often feels like he’s “disappointing” his ex-wife, Jennifer Garner, when it comes to coparenting, a source reveals exclusively in the new issue of Us Weekly.
“Ben has been filming in New Orleans and hadn’t seen the kids in a few weeks. They had a big week with Thanksgiving and Violet’s birthday. There was a lot of family time and things do come up,” the source explains. “Jen wants things done a certain way and sometimes Ben isn’t able to do it in that way. Ben had to head back to New Orleans and couldn’t be part of Violet’s birthday celebration in the way that they had hoped for. Its a balancing act.”
“They are continuing to coparent and spend holidays together but there are issues with schedules and commitments,” the insider tells Us. “It can be challenging to always be on the same page when you’re dealing with kids personalities, priorities and decision making.”
A second source adds that both Affleck and Garner are “present” with their kids “whenever they can be,” noting that the Gone Girl actor is back in Los Angeles “whenever he has a break from a movie.”
Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck manage to maintain an amicable coparenting relationship while raising their three kids, despite “underlying tension.”
“Jen has very high standards and expectations,” a source exclusively reveals in the new issue of Us Weekly. “She wants things done a certain way, and sometimes Ben isn’t able to live up to that.”
That being said, the actress, 47, never lets their kids Violet, 14, Seraphina, 10, and Samuel, 7, “see” any of the former couple’s problems.
“Jen puts up with a lot and does everything she can to keep it together,” the insider tells Us. “She wants Ben to be in the kids’ lives. That means dealing with things she isn’t happy about. Jen’s major sticking point is that Ben needs to be sober — and truthful about it. There’s no wiggle room on that as far as his relationship with his kids goes. He’s trying to stay on track and be the best he can for them. But Jen doesn’t always trust him — and relapse is always a concern.”
The source added, “Regardless of any disagreements, they try to put on a happy face for the kids and put their needs first. There’s definitely a lot of resentment, but they’re a family first and foremost.”
[From two stories on US Magazine]
Yes Jen bugs, but they have three kids that can’t be easy, she’s the one organizing everything and she wants Ben to show up and be present. I don’t think that revealing this to US is the best move for her, but it has to have reached a truly annoying point for her to do that. (If that’s what’s happening here.) Also Jen has done so much for Ben, especially after their divorce. Remember how, around Halloween, she did a family photo op right after he was photographed falling off the wagon? People may call that codependency and it likely is, but it’s also looking out for Jen’s brand and the father of her children. I hope he’s not drinking again.
On Sunday December 1, Ben, Jen and Ben’s mom went to church and then they went to a Christmas tree farm together. It was Violet’s birthday. Look at how Ben is talking to his mom and how mad he looks overall. That’s around the time frame referenced in this story.
And the distancing from the car-crash ex-husband she can no longer control begins ……
I watched “Good Will Hunting” last Friday again…which is what I do when I want to visit some of my favorite movie characters…EVA…and I got to thinking about…how in the beginning of their careers…the narrative was that Matt that had the true writing and directing talents…and that Ben was just a fratbro that was going along for the ride…and time has shown that Matt is the better actor…but for writing and directing…it’s Ben…PERIOD…I think Ben has an addiction issue…that he’s had it for decades…and that he MAY NOT MAKE IT….the body…the soul…can’t take that type of devastation for decades….and once you hit middle age………….
That’s what I see….unfortunately…
Yes, agree. I loved Ben’s soliloquy in that movie – in which he expects Will to get out – and it may be likely he wrote it for himself.
I so agree with you both @Lala and @ WhoAre…
I watch Good Will Hunting at least once a year,and I thought they were both great raw talents,and yes I loved Ben’s character telling Will to go..
I fear that Ben is so far gone with this,and that his line of thinking isn’t ever really to remain sober for life,but that he thinks he can control the drinking,and I know moderation does work for some,but I too worry that he won’t end up well.
All I see is a man telling his mum he forgot where he parked the car (again!) and his mum looking out at the parking lot trying to find it.
Seriously… Why are we always talking about these two? Seems he has a serious addiction and his wife had settled into a role life didn’t want to give her.
Sad stuff really.
Anything published by US weekly – except for photos – is unreliable, speculative or just patently false.
This.
He’s an addict struggling with to remain sober. Of course that’s difficult for the people close to him.
Agree. He’s got deadly addiction problems and, not to sound morbid, I don’t see a happy ending. I think one day there’s going to be a tragic headline. It’s a shame because he’s a talented guy, rich, a father, but addiction doesn’t discriminate.
Sadly well said ^minx,I agree,but really want to be wrong.
Garner’s PR hamsters have used it many times in the past as a virtual mouthpiece.
One thing I’ve noticed- especially since I’ve stopped drinking-
Alcoholics (at least the ones i know) pedal in Outrage with a capital O!
Every one else is always this or that and there is verylittle room for true introspection or humility. Self loathing and despair are course setting but the OPEN SECRET that is the DRINKING continues to churn the OUTRAGE!
Ben seems like hes drinking again and really struggling- has he ever REALLY had humility?
I read an interring piece i think it was in Marie Clare about women stopping drinking and one lady said that AA didn’t work for her- it was really designed for a white male- bc it was all about trying to let go of the entitlement and ego-
this guy has it bad and no one can get him to see himself if he doesn’t care enough to.
Its difficult realizing something isn’t working, its a problem and its time to step up and own the change- one cant lather rinse repeat for ever right? But Ben seems incapable of humility.
He should get down on his knees and grovel with gratitude that he has all that he has. Given what a schmuck he is.
That whole first paragraph reads like a Ben leak to me. Oh I’m doing the best I can but its SO HARD bc she’s such a MEAN MOMMY its SO MUCH TO ASK OF ME but hey ITS A BALANCING ACT but im there, im present when I am home…
Being a good present parent is difficult and i admire Jen. She seems like a good person, a good parent, and she has a great personality on Instagram.
Yes, I read at as his still being very resentful and yet resentful of what, an organized mother-of-his-three-children? A woman who loved him enough to share his life and take on his problems? He probably was so happy at first to be with someone competent. Resentment can be a big part of an addictive personality, right?
Yeah, I get that vibe from him. He was happy to marry her, because her Type A personality meant he had someone getting his shit together for him. But, of course, her getting his shit together also irritated him, so he slept around with a woman who wouldn’t cramp his style. Now, his shit is hanging out, and he is resenting her for having her act together and telling him to grow up.
He’s like his Gone Girl character.
There was also that fight in front of one of their houses and then she drove him in his car to a hotel in Santa Barbara.
That’s a red flag that he’s not sober anymore to me. They’re not married yet SHE’S driving HIS car to some remote hotel after what looked like an argument about it. Just speculation though…..I don’t know them.
I agree.
I thought that story was worded so sinister-ly with the ‘remote hotel’ line. Like Jen was going to drive him out into the middle of Death Valley and leave him there.
All speculation obviously, but she seems like the type to like things her own way and he seems like the type to purposely do a shitty job at domestic stuff so he isn’t asked again. When someone does 90% of the work, you owe it to them to try and do it their way, IMO. Especially if it’s about their kids as she’s bent over backwards to keep him in their lives.
I used to not like her with her constant need to tell the tabloids everything and be photographed playing supermom, but she’s chilled out a lot the last few years. I find her charming now.
Oh, these two.
rinse and repeat!
If I were her I’d be done covering for him. She can still coparent as long as he is safe and making good choices. If not you don’t see the kids by yourself until you are safe, sorry. She can’t want it enough for him.
I have been watching a couple of little videos of Garner in her kitchen. They are really sweet, cute, seemingly off-the-cuff, like something a lot of women I know would knock off for funsies.
Which made the idea she was ever married to Ben Affleck that much more disconnecting.
She might have been able to carve out a rather eclectic career in film and TV in her younger days, dating who came across her path as is normal for that business. But I can see how and why none of her relationships worked out. She is cookies and milk in a champagne and cocaine world. She wants to be a good person, doing good work, raising her family, and she probably wants a like-minded partner to do it with. Instead she fell for Affleck, and tried to “save” him their entire marriage.
I honestly wish her well. She’s saddled with her ex, yet I feel she will continue to be there for him, not out of obligation, but because she seems like a genuinely caring person.
It’s amazing what you can glean from a 2 minute video about cooking chicken…😏
It seems obvious that this is what she wants people to think about her, all cookies and milk and innocence. Rather than look at her carefully curated, two minute cooking videos and other social media stuff, actually look at her life. No one stays with someone like Ben Affleck for 13 years (and only really divorces him for the optics) if she isn’t attracted to that type of person and lifestyle. She had a stable, reliable husband in Foley and ditched him to have kids with a bad boy. She’s still defending and protecting Ben now and IMO it’s way past “for the kids.” He’s still her moon and stars and if he truly got his act together, she would take him back in a heartbeat.
I think she’s a woman who fell in love with a bad boy and thought she could “fix” him. She’s not the first to do that, she won’t be the last. Bad boys can be very charming and attractive. It’s over the long haul when it becomes obvious he’s not fixable. She tried, finally had enough, and she won’t take him back. I think she enjoys her freedom to work with Save the Children, her baby food company, and doing occasional film/tv projects. And while she’s trying to keep him in the children’s lives, his backsliding must be terribly frustrating.
@Leah,I think you just described true codependency…
Addicts aren’t honest people when they are in their addictions. They don’t go around saying, yes, I do love getting wasted, gambling and groping strippers more than I want to be with you or our kids. They present a very different set of values at home, they say they want the happy home life and characterize all the rest as mistakes or misunderstandings or effects of the alcohol. Just because you continually clean up someone else’s mess doesn’t mean you like it. Lots of people take that whole for better or worse thing seriously.
Agree. And they are both living in dream land if they truly think they are hiding all these issues from their children. Her enabling and trying to hide his alcoholism from them will lead them straight into therapy (if they are lucky) to try and come to terms with all the BS. Children know — so, better to be honest that mommy has control issues and daddy is a full blown alcoholic.
“Jen has very high standards and expectations,” a source exclusively reveals in the new issue of Us Weekly. “She wants things done a certain way, and sometimes Ben isn’t able to live up to that.”
….She wants a grown-ass man to be sober and capable of functioning as an adult and father. Those are not high standards and expectations, those are bare minimum.
Sexist nonsense putting the blame on Jennifer. How dare she expect even a semblance of competence from the father of her children, right?
100,000,000 %
Fully agree. That phrase makes her sound high maintenance and unreasonable, when she is asking for the very least from him.
Does Ben want her to have LOW expectations & standards of him?
That is almost as bad as “strong lapse in judgement ”
Wait, do Justin & Ben have the same PR team?
Exactly how I read it as well.
It’s like the husband/father who think he can just opt-out of any part of parenting that doesn’t appeal to him, saying “Oh but you’re so much BETTER at that stuff than me! I can’t do it!”
Things don’t “default” to mom. You’re both their parents.
I think she can be a little twee. I don’t really like the fact she uses her kids in paparazzi photos. But. I have gotten over all of that and have come to love her. I think she’s hilarious, self-deprecating and I will *always* defend her after seeing the video of her with border children playing with them in Spanish and being so loving.
I haven’t seen that video, but that’s kind of my perspective on her too. She runs to the tabloids a little too quickly and loves a farmers market photo op, but she’s a very likable person on her social media. She’s funny and charming. Joining Instagram was a good move for her.
I don’t know, I feel for her. This is not what she expected her life to be and I think she’s doing the best she can to make sure her kids have a dad for their sake, not his. I don’t really care if she has rules about how things are done. As the healthy parent, she can do that, it’s called boundaries. I hope his mom is telling him to get his shit together.
I agree that it sounds like this was released by his side trying to control the narrative.
I’m sure she does like things done a certain way, we all do, was that supposed to be a dig at her? You have to set rules and boundaries for yourself and the kids, especially when dealing with a lying addict like Ben. That’s not being picky, that’s being responsible.
I can’t tell which camp this from, sounds more like Ben whining and trying to be a victim to me, which is exactly what a lot of addicts sound like in the midst of a relapse. “I can’t do anything right and it’s all your fault for expecting too much, you pushed me to this” etc.
Thats what i was trying to say. Yes you said it…it sounds like an addict making excuses and churning outrage and blame on everyone else
Jen likes things done in a certain way, like maintain a stable childhood for her three children?
I suspect she has done 90% of the parenting and he does the bare minimum or less.
It comes across as a situation where she does all the parental heavy lifting and he struggles to get his shit together enough to do a bare minimum.
That quote in the headline might be the most polite way I’ve heard to describe a single mother of 3 doing all the heavy lifting and dealing with an absent alcoholic co parent.
Their screaming fight in the street on Thanksgiving was some trashy, low class sh*t and off brand for her. Who does that in full view of the paps? They know there will be pics. I swear they must get a cut of the profits from them. Garner making sure here that we ALL KNOW they don’t fight in front of the kids, but they go to the street and fight in front of the paps. Both of them need to go away but they’re addicted to the fame and attention, clearly.
Did you hear some audio that I didn’t? It was obvious from the pics that there was disagreement, but nobody reported any screaming. Given that SHE drove HIM to a hotel it could have been as simple as her telling him he was in no shape to drive.
Screaming? I never heard they were screaming, and it didn’t look like they were in the photos either. It looked like a tense, brief argument to me.
Jen cheated on Michael Varten with Ben. I do not feel sorry for her. Jen wanted to be with Ben, and attached to an Oscar winner.
Furthermore, Goop had enough sense to dump Ben..she could see who he truly was.
Jen acts like a cheerful infomercial on social media, but the ugly truth always reveals itself.
I mean, you’re talking about a divorce that happened in 2003 (!). I’m not defending cheating, but it IS possible that she learned from a mistake she made 16 years ago.
LOL, the complaint that she has “high standards” that are “so hard to meet”… Oh, you mean she expects your ass to be sober around the kids? You mean she expects you to make good decisions concerning the kids and your life and lifestyle? Poor guy. NOT. I don’t buy the narrative that she’s a difficult person or some control freak, that whole label everyone loves to assign her, including sometimes the writers on this website.
She expected an adult when they got serious, which I think for a while he had a lot of people fooled into believing he was an adult who made good decisions. In reality, he is not only a major addict (alcohol and gambling) but also very immature and self-centered. He is unwilling to sacrifice and change the bad habits that he loves to indulge in, for the sake of his new role as husband and father at this stage in his life. He wanted to pretend to grow up with someone else doing the heavy lifting (Jen).
I am firmly team Jen. He should be lucky she’s working hard to allow him to even BE a part of their kids’ life and protecting the kids from seeing what a sloppy addict he really is… A less nice and caring person would have kept those kids far away from him and never protected them from seeing this ugly side, which would have impacted their relationship with their father.
YES 1000%
She seems like a massive control freak and nag to me. He’s a selfish, narcissistic mess but I couldn’t deal with her BS either. How these two losers thought it was a good idea to marry and have three kids together is a mystery. Be careful who you marry and mate with, that’s the lesson here. When someone tells you who they are, believe them. Trying to change someone is a waste of time.
Some people are born controlling. Other people have controlling thrust upon them.
the cold, hard truth!
U.S. Weekly is not a reliable source. Ben has always had emotional and addiction issues. He had his first stay at rehab before he met Jen. I read an interview Ben did during promotion for (Good Will Hunting) Bens early years. He talked about his dad being an alcoholic/gambler addict. His dad also cheated and left the family for years without contact. (Ben told a story about one Christmas his mom had no money for gifts. So his brother wrapped all the furniture in the living room with a note stating “we are for
grateful what we have mom”).
Ben also revealed that his father would repeatedly tell him he would fail in Hollywood. Jen may not have wanted a life having to deal with a troubled person like Ben. But she married and had children with him knowing about his issues.
I think Jen is a perfectionist. She likes for things to be done her way. I hoped Ben and Jen could make their marriage work. But I was not surprised about the divorce. Jen doesn’t have to deal with Ben anymore. All she has to do is asked the judge for supervised visits. When I see Ben and Jen doing things together now, it is because the kids want Ben there. Or the family going on vacation together is because Jen wants to keep control of what is going on with the kids. She is going to be involved with Ben until the kids get older. So…….. There are always going to be stories and pictures of them together.
One thing I will say for Ben is that I don’t think he’d fight his visits being supervised or make her go to court to get that. I think he’d willingly agree to not driving with them and having a nanny present when they’re in his care. He doesn’t seem difficult in that sense to me. I think he’s probably already agreed to that because I haven’t seen him drive his kids in years, though it’s possible I missed it. She doesn’t have to be as involved with him as she is, that’s for sure.
@Kebbie, agree. I really don’t understand why they need to do everything together. He’s a mess and she’s a bit of a doormat. They’re divorced and having separate lives and splitting some holidays/ events with their kids is inevitable. As a child of divorce, wouldn’t want to be around both parents if they are having struggles with each other. It’s like she’s trying to maintain this fake front and they should be more up front with their kids. We know more about their personal lives than their career and current projects
Ben frequently drives the kids by himself, including 2 days after his most recent relapse
AT this point I wonder if it wouldn’t be better for her kids to have as little contact with him as possible. It doesn’t look like he’s ever going to deal with his addiction /mental illness in any meaningful way and I agree with the other commenters who think its not going to end well .
If it were me, I would want to set the example of how you can have a wonderful, fulfilling life as a single parent rather than putting up with that unreliable saggy manchild.
IMO Ben’s problem is he is still trying to protect his reputation instead of fully admit his addiction to drugs and alcohol.
Jen has been a push over all this time. Staying with him through multiple affairs and substance abusing episodes. Is he really running to the tabloids to complain now? Well, it’s about time she laid down the law.
Translation: she’s a grown up and he’s a f*ck-up.
lol yes perfect
JDay, you said exactly what I wanted to leave a comment, but yours is perfect. My first thoughts, too. Carmen AIC, yup. Exactly right.
Being in a relationship with an alcoholic is traumatizing. One minute they’re fine, the next they’re raging and blaming you for all their problems. When I was in my early twenties I went down that road thinking I could “cure” him but all it did was drag me down and destroy my self-esteem. I have to give her kudos for trying to co-parent with him but at a certain point you have to stop trying to be a saint and enabler, and just stop flogging a dead horse. She needs to cut ties with him.
That’s not an option unless his parental rights get totally severed, and we haven’t seen evidence yet that’s going to happen.
I agree with comments that “Jen expects too much” & “Ben feels like he disappoints Jen” sound like they came from Ben. Sadly, I think Ben is in denial again that he is completely sober & of all people Jen would know! Was this an apology of I’m sorry, but your standards are too high?! I would bet that their plans with their children were arranged ahead of time & Ben tried to change them
If someone makes a bad decisions, (which apparently Ben is doing), that is on him.
Unfortunately, Ben has 3 children who obviously adore their dad & he needs to realize these bad decisions also affect them.
She’s taking care of the kids and supporting them in school- even with help for cooking, cleaning, chauffeuring, still making time for work and advertisements is HARD.
Sobriety is tough but I doubt there is an open bar at a kid’s birthday party.
He can’t even show for his kid’s birthday? That is heartbreaking. Poor kids, having that leaked to the media.
It’s hard to tell the difference between a perfectionist and someone who has had their trust betrayed time and again. It hurts to watch your kid hurt or be disappointed, so she’s probably micromanaging everything she can about their interactions with dad. Then, when he boozes up and disappoints them anyway, she’s hurt – and angry at the wasted effort of pulling both his load and hers… and for having to be a miserable micromanager for no reason.
Always thought of Jenn as a perfectionist and controlling especially with the children. It’s sad because she could organize her life in a better manner to where it is not super stressful. Truthfully no one can make someone stop drinking it will solely come from the individual themselves. So being angry at Ben is a waste of time and it has been time to move on. They are divorced, yes some events they will each attend for the kids but likely not all events. That’s unfair to anyone. Ben has no interest in Jennifer and no interest in reconciliation. Sometimes exes pick fights as a way to get attention because there partner is no longer with them and cannot control them. Ben has to start leaving if the situation is uncomfortable too. I truly hope Jenn finally starts her life in a new direction with her friends and family that cares and supports her.
Those kids look like they are totally picking up on the stress in any family photo op. I know she wants to have him participate but it seems like less together time might be good for everyone.
Looking at these pics and reading the story….It is uncanny how his aggro posturing is exactly like my brother’s (who happens to have the same first name.)
My brother is an alcoholic though has been dry many years. He does have other substance problems, and the way Jen has handled all this on behalf of her kids and won’t stir the pot….well, I have more empathy for her now.
My SIL (my brother and she divorced 5 years ago) is very similar and will not make any boundaries with him. I know it is partly true when she says it is for the kids, but she has PTSD from his abusive behavior both while they were married and even now. She is acting (or not acting) from a place of unacknowledged trauma.
No idea if this is the case with Jen, but considering what we know of Ben and his aggressive posture in these pics, I think it more than possible.
I really can’t stand this structure we have in place that makes it impossible for women to be given even the most basic credit.
This woman has spent her life working in film and on television. It’s her JOB to remain relevant and she does a lot less pap-walking than a lot of people in her industry. The ones she does are curated to show her doing things like product placement with coffee or mom products and leaving the gym. It’s very innocuous stuff that keeps her public. Still, she’s criticized constantly for it. She cannot win, no matter what she does.
She has tried to coparent with her kids’ father, which is proven by every data set ever run on the issue to be absolutely and utterly crucial. Even if the father is utterly useless, as long as he isn’t abusing his kids physically, it’s proven that kids do better if dad is around and visible and framed positively. So…she’s doing that. Admirably.
If I had a gambling and alcohol-addicted ex who cheated on me brazenly over and over again, I wouldn’t be inviting him to Thanksgiving dinner, and that’s where Jennifer Garner is a better human being than I am.
She’s navigated this as gracefully as I think anyone could have…but we’re still getting these little underhanded stories about it being her fault. Because that’s what this is.
Jennifer is a perfectionist who drove Ben to feel bad, and that’s why he drinks and gambles and womanizes. Either that, or she’s a sad, desperate woman who can’t let the man go. Yeah, okay.
It is ALWAYS going to be spun as a woman who couldn’t keep her man, even if you’re a good-looking woman like Garner who is present for her kids, involved with family, and adept at eating excrement to make nice with your ex for the sake of the children’s psyches.
She can’t win. And I hate that.
This exactly. People give Jennifer a lot of shit, and for what? She’s got to take care of her kids financially AND emotionally. Ben doesn’t seem to be contributing much in either of those departments (what was the last hit film he even had?). So tired of the double standard. Ben’s issues are his own, and kudos once again to Jen for handling it so gracefully.
I read somewhere: “If an addict is happy someone is enabling them.”
Maybe they are all opening their eyes to this. He always looks cranky.
Jennifer Garner is not the problem.
Oh he’s drinking again look at that bloated mess
“That being said, the actress, 47, never lets their kids Violet, 14, Seraphina, 10, and Samuel, 7, “see” any of the former couple’s problems.”
Instead, she puts all of her business out on front street, and allows it all to be memorialized in US magazine for the entire world, and one day, perhaps her children, to read. Yes, siree, that’s some fine parenting right there, Jenny.
I don’t think you can blame her for the fact that gossip blogs can’t get enough of them. Nope I think you’ll have to put all the blame for that on Benny boy. Like Mego said “jennifer Garner is not the problem”.
I was married to a man who wanted everything his way and I couldn’t live up to his standards. This has nothing to do with addictions or any major character flaw. It’s horrible being in a relationship like this. Just awful. It made me a loner. I’m happy by myself and nobody is disappointed or mad at you.