I’ve spent a lot of time over worrying about Phil Spector. Is he happy? Is he warm? Is he safe? Does he feel content with his life? Does he have good reading material and yummy, nutritious food to eat? So you can imagine just how devastatingly bummed I was to learn that the answer to all these questions was pretty much no. Poor Phil. He’s written a letter to a friend, copies of which were given to Page Six, in which he is absolutely astounded and infuriated that a murderer should be treated… like a murderer. The nerve!

Relatedly, Phil doesn’t even know where he is. Not a big surprise.

Music legend-cum-murderer Phil Spector is whining about being locked up in a “snake pit” of a prison with such other high-profile killer nutjobs as Charles Manson and Sirhan Sirhan — but California corrections officials say Spector is full of beans.

“Imagine sending me to the same prison — shows how low they can go,” fumes Spector in a letter to a buddy, Bay Area music manager Steve Escobar. “They’d kill you in here for a 39-cent bag of soup!”

California prison spokeswoman Terry Thornton sputtered when asked about the claims by the 69-year-old “Wall of Sound” impresario, who’s doing a life stint for killing B-list actress Lana Clarkson. “It’s ridiculous! Because Spector is not in the same prison!” said Thornton, noting that he’s locked up in the California Substance Abuse Treatment Facility a full two miles away from the Corcoran State Prison that houses Manson and Sirhan. “If he has fears about his safety, he needs to tell prison administrators.”

But things aren’t all bad for Spector in prison, according to his letter, which his publicist, Hal Lifson, provided to Page Six. Spector wrote Escobar that Phil’s 29-year-old wife, ex-Playboy model Rachelle Short, has begun making an 800-mile round trip drive to visit him. The oddball record producer quipped that Rachelle’s visits were a “Darwinian blessing” — but also griped that a “mean and nasty” guard ordered her to change clothes four times to comply with the prison’s dress code. “Rachelle piled me up with dinners to eat in my cell so I don’t have to go in to the dining room with the scumbags,” Spector wrote.

[From Page Six]

The sentence “Imagine sending me to the same prison” should really be “Imagine sending ME to the same prison!” And then some more about how wonderful and special and unique he is, because he’s Phil Specter. How dare they try to get in the way of his murdering people when he feels like it! Can you believe the California courts will actually lock up a genius like Phil Specter and make him feel the full consequences of his actions? Vindictive folks, I tell you.

I used to work in a volunteer program at a state prison when I lived in Seattle. I cannot tell you how many times I was told to change my clothes. You can’t wear underwire bras. You can wear anything with a v-neck. And as I embarrassingly found out in front of my professor, you sure as hell better not wear a very loosely fitting polo shirt with buttons, because you will be told by a guard to button it up all the way since, “I assume you’re not here looking for dates.” So I really have no sympathy for Phil’s wife. And considering she seems to be attracted to jailbirds and murderers, I assume she is looking for dates. I’m surprised she was able to make herself presentable on the fourth try.

So boo hoo, life is not filled with pleasure when you kill someone. It’s so cute that Phil thinks this is the real injustice. Wonder what kind of angry letter he’ll write when he dies in prison?

Here’s Phil’s wife Rachelle Short leaving Los Angeles Criminal Courts after he was sentenced on May 29th. Images thanks to WENN.com .