My mom has always had a motto that I’ve thought is really great: “My kid is the center of my world, not the world.” This is a lesson Kourtney Kardashian should seriously, seriously consider taking. Since she revealed she’s knocked up, Kourtney has shared every teeny tiny detail in “breaking news” format. Because the whole world is absolutely on edge about what’s going on in her belly. There is nothing else going on in any of our lives. Your kids? You’re not thinking about them. Don’t be a jerk. You’re thinking about Kourtney’s kid. And Kourtney’s pregnancy cravings. And Kourtney’s bloated feet. And soon the kicks in Kourtney’s belly. Followed by the release of Kourtney’s ultrasound photos. It’s just all way, way, way too much.

Reality “star” Kourtney Kardashian confirmed Aug. 12 that she was expecting her first child. Since then, the general public has been subject to every fleeting baby-related thought to pass through the expectant mama’s skull.

Not just content to make an announcement and await baby shower buzz, Kardashian has pontificated on the question of posing nude while pregnant (she has to think about it), diapers (she doesn’t think she’s ever changed one) and C-sections (compared to labor, she used to think they were “easy”).

The next 30-odd weeks until the baby is born will move along at a glacial pace if the current rate of overshare is maintained. I implore you, Kourtney, stop talking about your baby so much.

In case you haven’t noticed, times are tough out there. The odds of landing a magazine deal to follow you from birth right on through baby’s first photo shoot diminish with every extraneous quote you give about your cravings (which include “way more fruit”).

Until the kid actually shows up, please leave something to our imaginations.

[From MSNBC’s The Scoop]

God I hope Kourtney also starts monitoring her blood sugar after all the fruit and alerting us about her numbers each time she eats. And I want to hear about how much she poops, too. We want to know absolutely everything.

In all fairness, I really doubt Kourtney’s just become especially self-involved since she got pregnant. It’s probably fair to assume she’s always been that way, but for the first time she has something slightly interesting to talk about. So she’s just gonna keep on talking. Speaking of which… more overshares!

Nope, she isn’t grabbing for the ice cream and pickles. Instead, Kourtney Kardashian is opting for healthier choices now that she’s eating for two. “I have more healthy cravings than my normal eating habits, like I crave fruit and cold things like smoothies,” she said at the launch of her new show, Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami, at MGM Grand’s Wet Republic pool party in Las Vegas.

While celebrating at the pool party, Kardashian, who steered clear of alcohol, noshed on fruit platters in her private cabana. “I wasn’t normally a breakfast person. [Now] I eat breakfast the second I get up and I’m definitely hungry all throughout the day,” she said last weekend, hiding her baby bump with a loose blouse and jean shorts. But it’s going to get harder to keep her baby weight out of sight: The reality star, who is due around Christmas, admits she’s already gained more than 10 pounds.

“I like when you can see it,” Kardashian says of her bump. “I, like, run around naked all day at home.” Also enjoying her new curves is the baby’s daddy, Scott Disick. “He’s always been obsessed with Kourtney, but he’s definitely becoming more … paternal,” says Kardashian’s sister, Khloe.

[From People]

Ice cream and pickles! Thanks People, you’re a hoot! I find Kourtney so nauseating that I’m actually mad at People for every single word they write about her. Especially that thing about the private cabana. I don’t even know why, but it makes me like, shaking angry. I think Kourtney’s just one of those oversharing types in general. You know, who will go on and on and on about the excruciating minutiae of their lives without ever stopping to ask about yours. Or to even listen, should you have the audacity to say something that’s not all about them. She’s going to be a wonderful, selfless parent, I’m sure. But don’t start thinking of her as a frumpy mom just yet – that’s why we’ve got to hear about her running around naked at home!

But that last little part about Scott Disick is priceless. Nothing will truly change the heart of a philanderer quite like having his baby.

Here are Kourtney and Scott shopping in Malibu after a romantic lunch at ‘Taverna Tony’s’ yesterday. Look at that body language – the chemistry between them is electric! Images thanks to Pacific Coast News.