Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds got married in September 2012, at Boone Hall Plantation in Mt. Pleasant, South Carolina. At the time, I found it notable for so many reasons – one, Blake had been leaning so heavily into the “I want to get married and be a housewife with a million babies” thing and that turned out well for her. Two, a big chunk of their courtship happened in South Carolina – they kept visiting Charleston whenever they had a chance, and I guess they were scouting locations. Three, the Martha Stewart Weddings team helped organize and style the wedding, and while the magazine published some photos from the wedding, we have never seen one photo of Blake’s dress or any kind of wedding portrait.
Anyway, yes, it took place on a former plantation. Remember, this was 2012 and the conversation of “it’s completely sketchy and racist to have a wedding on a former plantation” had not reached critical mass. Plus, things really are different here in the South – there are so many relics of Antebellum life and the Confederacy EVERYWHERE. I think people might have given Blake and Ryan a pass in general, but Blake did that stupid “Allure of Antebellum” post on her now-defunct Preserve site, so people just thought she stanned everything about “the old South” and Scarlett O’Hara or something. Neither Blake or Ryan directly addressed the plantation-wedding thing in the years since. Now, Ryan has an interview with Fast Company about his many businesses and investments (Aviation Gin, Mint Mobile) and he ended up talking about the plantation wedding and Black Lives Matter. Here’s what he says in context:
Soon after protests erupted in May following the killing of George Floyd, Reynolds was forced to grapple with his own complicated personal history. His and Lively’s 2012 wedding took place at Boone Hall, a former plantation in South Carolina. Press coverage at the time focused mostly on the glamour of the event, though some pointed exceptions noted the callousness of holding a celebration in a place where slaves had suffered and died. It wasn’t until 2018 that the story caught on in a significant way, when a tweet Reynolds posted in praise of Black Panther (the first superhero blockbuster featuring a largely African American cast) sparked a viral response accusing him of hypocrisy. The actor is still clearly pained by the hurt the wedding caused, as well as by his own lack of judgment. “It’s something we’ll always be deeply and unreservedly sorry for,” he says. “It’s impossible to reconcile. What we saw at the time was a wedding venue on Pinterest. What we saw after was a place built upon devastating tragedy. Years ago we got married again at home—but shame works in weird ways. A giant f–king mistake like that can either cause you to shut down or it can reframe things and move you into action. It doesn’t mean you won’t f–k up again. But repatterning and challenging lifelong social conditioning is a job that doesn’t end.”
Over subsequent years he watched in increasing horror as police killings of unarmed Black Americans continued, and began focusing his philanthropy on social justice—including a pair of $1 million donations he and Lively made last year to the NAACP Legal Defense Fund and the Young Center for Immigrant Children’s Rights. It’s a topic he’s reluctant to talk about, in part because he worries that white celebrities too often drown out non-white voices, even if that’s not their intention. But in late May, after the issue of his wedding location resurfaced online, he and Lively opened up. Along with donating another $200,000 to the NAACP Legal Defense Fund, they posted a message to their social accounts expressing shame over their ignorance about systemic racism: “We want to educate ourselves about other people’s experiences and talk to our kids about everything, all of it . . . especially our own complicity.”
Yeah, I remember there were some people saying, in 2012, that plantation weddings are racist and awful, but again… that conversation really had not reached critical mass. Eight years ago, loads of people were renting out plantations for their weddings. In fact, people are STILL using plantations as their wedding venues. But I appreciate what he says here and this is one of those cases where “one mistake” should not define how people define a celebrity or a regular old person, in my opinion.
Photos courtesy of WENN.
I’m glad he finally addressed it bc they both danced around it in June when they spoke about BLM.
Wonder if Blake will address the L’Oreal contract she had where she claimed she was Native American but there was no evidence she is/was (True Match commercial I believe?)
I remember that L’Oreal commercial…yiiikes. When you put it all together: claiming Indigenous identity, marrying on a plantation, “allure” of antebellum blog post, it starts to paint quite the picture of Blake doesn’t it?
also worked with Woody Allen
I actually find her insufferable for all these reasons. I think she’s just inherently clueless.
Yeah i think blake is about as deep as a puddle and just cares about how things look
This! The plantation wedding, her antebellum thing, her whole Preserve website, the ‘La face with Oakland booty’ sentence, working with Allen while giving speeches against pedophiles…
I think they are super careful about their public images and persona, they try so hard to please everyone all the time, that’s why I don’t buy them as ‘relationship goals’ at all. Everything they say/post is carefully crafted.
Also, it took them 8 years to realize what plantation meant?
@Lee. Everything you said. This is all about image and saving their respective careers. I personally find RR very image conscious, especially since he took on the Deadpool role. Every tweet crafted to show how woke and funny they are.
Lee- “LA face with Oakland booty sentence”? When did that happen?
@Rapunzel
I think it was a Instagram post a few years ago where she used it as a caption
Blake didn’t claim that she was Native American. She included “Cherokee” in the list nationalities of her ancestors. She does in fact have Cherokee ancestory from the McAlpin side of her family. They are from GA and there is a family site reserved as the final resting place of decendents from that line. People may not have liked the fact that she included Cherokee, but to have omitted it would have been worse imo.
@Sankay
Honestly I found him funny the first 2/3 times but not anymore, his sarcasm is getting predictable.
I think that was a really decent apology. And putting their money where their mouths are… Seems like they are doing what they can at this point to address, acknowledge, and apologize.
I agree, as Kaiser says the wider conversations being had in 2012 were different. it doesn’t change the horrors of what took place in those locations but they way they are viewed has definitely shifted. I appreciate the way he has addressed this.
As a white person, I’m having a difficult time believing that someone with an average level of intelligence & empathy could go visit a plantation in 2012 and not think of slavery. This would be like having a wedding at a concentration camp. My guess is the thought crossed their minds but they thought it was still okay (i.e., it wouldn’t upset their white guests). It seems like what he is saying now is largely based on his perception that many white people find it offensive now (rather than just coming to the conclusion it’s offensive on his own). I may be giving other white people too much credit though for expecting more…
@Pusspants yeah, unfortunately I think that’s giving the average white person too much credit. The way American History is usually taught – especially in the South, but probably everywhere in the US – doesn’t draw attention to the realities of slavery and it doesn’t explain how plantation is just a nice word for “forced labor camp.” You’re absolutely right that the average white person SHOULD understand this – but I don’t think we are “there” yet, and it’ll take a lot of collective effort (especially to balance school curricula) to get us there.
On a related note, I actually also got married in the South in 2012, on the grounds of an old home that was built in the late 1800s after the Civil War. At the time I knew enough to know I didn’t want to be married on an actual plantation – but I didn’t yet know enough to realize that most white planters in the late 1800s/early 1900s were still profiting off of coerced Black labor (like sharecropping.)
I disagree on the point that this conversation wasn’t happening in the same way in 2012. I got married in the South around the same time she did and I never in a million years would have done it on a plantation, despite their prevalence as event venues. It’s f-ing gross. Did everyone else JUST find out that plantations were run by the labor of enslaved people? Give me a break. I can’t think of a historic plantation tour I’ve been on that didn’t at least mention this. Surely it came up when they were touring venues. It’s not ignorance, it’s callousness. Glad they finally came around, but… still gross. (ETA: I’m white.)
I think it was a thoughtful apology as well. It sounded well considered. And they seem to put some of their money where their mouths are. Having said that unrelated to theists issue I always found her a bit annoying. Celebrity life style sites are a pet peeve
I like what he said here a lot. I’m white so it’s not my place to say whether what they did was forgivable or not, but I agree that this conversation around plantation weddings wasn’t as much of a thing in 2012. I think people need to be given space to educate themselves and grow from past mistakes, which Blake and Ryan truly seem to have done.
Agreed. Not going to lie. I got married in 2011, and if I lived in the South, I definitely would have been looking at a plantation as a venue. All I saw was the beauty and a vague, historical past. Now, in 2020 – no. I would not be able to separate the horror from the beauty. They are intertwined.
ETA: And I just want to add… I consider myself to be pretty thoughtful, but I saw the pretty house and the slavery as separate. Like, oh look, there’s a gorgeous house. And dear God, that’s slavery over there. It didn’t click with me that the pretty house only existed DUE to the horrors of slavery.
I understand this.
I watched Gone with the Wind for the dresses. I loved the novel as a teenager.
I didn’t know then, what I know now.
Seeing plantations are beautiful venues no matter if it was 2011, 2012, 2020 or 1820 is a huge example of white privilege no matter if the conversation had reached critical mass or not. The white privilege to not see the many black lives that were destroyed on those grounds.
It’s like having a wedding at Auschwitz. “I just saw the beauty of the chambers on Pinterest, It never occurred to me the horrific human rights violations that happened so many years ago…”
So many people knew about slavery on plantations, it just wasn’t a deal breaker for them.
That’s a false equivalency. You have to have a pretty twisted sense of beauty to like Auschwitz, it was a camp, it was designed as such. Plantations were design for living, and some of them were designed quite beautifully. You will be hard-pressed to find a wedding location in Europe that did not see death and suffering.
How many castles saw sieges or lords who treated their servants horribly? And those servants were often white. Yet people still hold celebrations in castles and palaces. Not because of white privilege or racism, but because of beauty. All palaces and much of art was financed by labor and misery. Unless we suggest we blow up every single one of them, it’s just something we have to live with.
@Levans, I agree… it was a massive blind spot/example of white privilege.
Plantations were work camps. They were working farms using forced labor.
The main difference between renting a castle and a plantation is that the descendants of those townspeople and peasants are the ones renting those venues. Plantations are not a popular black wedding venue.
No, it was a controversy back then as well. The only thing that may have changed is that white people can’t as comfortably ignore the criticisms or live in a bubble. There are always people who know when something is wrong but their voices are disregarded.
Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds have pr people and would have known but probably didn’t feel like it would affect their fan base. Blake Lively even had her foul antebellum lifestyle site. She was courting a specific audience and it wasn’t a black audience. Now, even the NFL is trying to backtrack about BLM so naturally this couple is publicly repositioning themselves.
Yup. So many pretty historical places have horrific ghosts of oppression that still linger. Castles have dungeons, but we don’t give it a second thought when we’re setting up the wedding bower. Don’t get me started on any public square in Europe. I can’t imagine getting married on a plantation–yikes. White people using castles in Europe just doesn’t have the same stink, even though the places reek of past torments (often of a dominant class over an oppressed group). Stick with the castles, people, if you have to go Lavish History on your big day.
Why don’t they “have the same stink”, exactly?
@El There is a difference of degree between a European square where people were tortured vs a plantation or concentration camp. First, there are still individuals that were directly impacted by slavery & the Nazis (i.e., they were enslaved or lived in concentration camps). So it’s reasonable to surmise this would be upsetting to them. Second, there are many individuals that are indirectly impacted by slavery and the systemic racism that grew from it, whereas this is not the case with poor white people that were enslaved or tortured in some way in European squares/castles.
@EL, plantations are absolutely comparable to Auschwitz as, also mentioned above, plantations were work camps using forced labor from individuals who were enslaved indefinitely.
What’s the point you are trying to make…plantation weddings are acceptable?
I guess. But if I insert myself into the plantation wedding conversation, I couldn’t have been paid a million dollars to celebrate anything on a plantation in any decade I’ve been alive. Okay maybe if mom threw my 5th birthday party I’d have attended with a heavy sigh lol. But she would never have done it either. So eight years ago means nothing to me.
My thoughts exactly, Mabs. So is he saying that in 2012 they weren’t aware that slavery happened on southern plantations but in 2020 they now know better? GTFO with that, Ryan. I can’t stand these two basic b!tches anyway.
Yeah. I mean, this is a better apology than most, and I am grateful that any person in the public eye is sounding this thoughtful. But I am a middle class white lady with privilege and I have known all my life that those big white houses with the pillars were built on the pain and blood of black slaves. My parents were old hippies, so maybe I heard more about socio-economic oppression than other kids, but all you really had to do was pay a little attention in history class and on the tour of that big pretty house when they show you the back staircase and the slave quarters.
I reluctantly went to Boone’s on a girl’s trip a few years ago. My two friends insisted on it and I kept telling myself things like it’s ok, just go with it, don’t make waves, The Notebook was filmed there. As soon as we pulled up to the house my heart became heavy and I couldn’t ignore what happened on that site. The entire time during the house tour, I kept thinking about the enslaved people who lived there. Of course, the tour guide glossed over all of that and mainly only talked about the artwork and decor. By the time we went out to the cabins that housed the enslaved people, I was nauseous. The only reason I don’t regret going is that was able to learn about the Gullah Geechee people and before that day, I never heard of them.
This is how I’d be too. The tours or whatever should be somber, like the way European people go to aushwitz with respect
If a person is “sensitive” at all to environments, visiting a plantation will send you into fear-flight mode. This from a white woman whose family is from deep south Louisiana. Plantations have a creepy vibe. PERIOD.
I completely agree! I have relatives who like to travel to the south and tour plantations because of their “beauty,” and I just cannot comprehend it for the life of me. Perhaps because the only context in which I’ve ever seen that type of architecture and landscape is in films about slavery. Even a picture is enough to fill me with dread. Your “fight-or-flight” point is bang on.
The violence that went on in those rooms -I just don’t get why people would want to celebrate there.
I’ve gone on tours – and here’s a few tidbits –
Tour guide: “In the primary bedroom for the white owners, the slave sleeps at the foot of the bed.” I was like WTF and how creepy could that be!
One house I toured had a super creepy vibe. The black house servant (I kid you not) gave me the tour. She was very matter of fact about it all. When we came back down the “ghost” had shut off the appliances in the kitchen. Not a house I would want to live or work in.
The slave “cabin” – about the size of my kid’s bedroom 10×10 which slept 10 people made my flesh crawl.
FWIW, many plantation and other historic properties have robust black history programs that sometimes filter through to the house tours and sometimes not. There can be a disconnect between house docent programs (quite often “ladies who lunch”) and researchers who are trying to add substantive knowledge to those who are largely unseen in historic accounts.
I personally think the house tours should disseminate the research that is often happening in their very yards. As a history buff, I do like house tours myself but can appreciate why some don’t.
Note, I am a black southerner and former archaeologist who has worked with both black and white researchers on some of these house sites.
Wikipedia extensively details this property. There are numerous “slave cabins” pics and they are disturbing. The slaves manufactured bricks there as well.
I was born in Toronto, and certainly am aware of slavery & it’s sickening history. Elitists claiming ignorance is disingenuous & insulting.
I also have no right to say what’s forgivable. It’s a terrible thing to not understand why a plantation wedding is hurtful and tone deaf. And yet, if everyone who ever made a mistake is not allowed to have redemption no matter how sorry they are, how do we move forward?
They seem to be sincerely sorry and are putting their money where their mouths are.
Maya Angelou is famous for saying something like “When you know better, do better.” It helps me with feelings of shame for myself, who at one point in my life did not understand how a person like me who had always had good intentions to be a non-racist could still be complicit in a racist society.
You’re right. And I’d have never cast shadows on any learning experience or curve. Gracious and forgiving was ingrained, but I have to admit, the past four years have proven instrumental in how gracious and forgiving have allowed many evils to flourish. Insinuating myself into other’s lives is taboo, but not when it comes to public lives. Not anymore. Yes yes, we can continue to spread love and happiness, but not at the expense of stupidity. What he said about his wedding is spot on. Congratulations. BUT. This deep southern regret could have been avoided, and their great grandchildren could’ve gushed over wedding videos and pics with feelings of true endearing love instead of racial insensitivities. They got married eight years ago. That’s a leisurely saunter to the convenience store lol.
Good.
But I’m surprised others that got married on plantations, like Reese Witherspoon, don’t get called out.
But she’s Southern, y’all! (Eyeroll).
Plantation weddings might not have gotten the criticism they deserve in 2012 but it was there. Another “trend” at that time was hipsters doing “hobo” weddings – dressing in rags, drinking from Mason jars, etc. The ability of well-off people to fetishize things that are underpinned in human suffering – slavery, abject poverty – is disgusting.
Blake Lively’s entire schtick around that time was Antebellum homemaker (lol). She was trying to be a younger hipper Paula Dean but she’s from SoCal and I guess she didn’t connect those dots or care.
I’m glad it was finally addressed (by half the pair) and that they seem to be genuinely doing the work now buuuuuuuut…it’s not that folks don’t *know* that it’s gross to get married on a plantation (even way, way back in 2012) is that they know and do it anyway. The aesthetic matters more than the humanity of Black folks.
*This* all day. While the conversation hadn’t reached critical mass to some, the conversation had definitely reached critical mass among the descendants of enslaved peoples. Just because it exists and white people are partaking in it, doesn’t mean we aren’t thinking about it, and talking about it, and getting the message out there, and enduring while being told that we sound bitter or screechy or just being outright ignored because we’re messing up the fantasy. And they *were* scrutinized after the wedding, especially in light of that “Preserve” nonsense…the critical voices just didn’t matter as much, the questions were allowed to fade out with no response, we were told “but he’s Canadian, and she doesn’t seem racist at all!”
I can’t speak for anyone but myself, but I don’t know how I feel about any apologies for things like this. The whole “we didn’t know!” is just so off-putting… If you heard even one “Well, are you sure?” you knew. If you had ever thought about how African people arrived on this continent (like, maybe because of a history test in high school in that one semester they sort of skirt around the transatlantic slave trade), you knew. Ever watched any after school special about race, you knew… So I’m just going to sit in not knowing or liking how I feel about his apology. I disconnect his philanthropy from the apology as well — should be the bare minimum, should be ongoing.
And let’s for a second say folks don’t actually truly know, is the wedding industry stupid? Do these major wedding planners and designers know so little as to not suggest other venues? How do you plan a wedding (and probably pay somewhere over six figures to some planner (including expenses) and that planner doesn’t sit down and say “Wait a minute, you shouldn’t do this are you sure you really want to marry there, because a and b?” Why would a smart, honest planner, take this work?
I grew up in plantation country, as a poster below called it, and a lot of those venues come with an event planner. They probably had an overall designer (and I only assume that because they’re wealthy) who worked with the venue’s in-house “events director/coordinator” on things like flower arrangements, lighting, and personalized features, but the event was probably catered by the venue or a chef associated with the venue/area, etc. There is a small faux-plantation (basically a reproduction built much later…also known as a “non-historical” plantation) very close to my childhood home that still acts as a full-service venue. They would decorate, provide a contracted DJ or band, and coordinate every aspect of the service. I’m sure the Lively-Reynolds wedding was super bespoke, but if anyone questioned their decision to be married there, it wasn’t going to be the event planner. How RR’s *management team* didn’t pose the question, I dunno. Seems to me like courting a PR nightmare, but then again it hasn’t seemed to affect his career at all, so maybe they didn’t bring it up.
I live in the DC area, and friends of friends got married recently at a plantation. They are beautiful places seeing as the rich slave masters had access to the best land and vistas. I just can’t imagine it though. Thankfully, I’ve never been invited to one so I would have to miss a friend’s wedding over where it was held.
Especially when you are working with Martha’s Stewart Weddings?! A lotttttttttta people just didn’t say anything at all and this went through. I wonder how many Black folks were a part of this whole debacle…going with zero.
Y’all know the phones we use are put together by slaves right?
It’s true. In fact, I’d be willing to bet a large percentage of what we own is manufactured by slaves.
Fast fashion, cashews, coffee, chocolate, computers, precious stones, mineral makeup… This post is about Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively claiming ignorance about getting married on a plantation though, hence the comments focusing on that specifically.
The broader topic is indifference about slavery.
We’re not seeking out the phones that are only made by slave labor. A plantation was not their only option as a wedding venue. It’s such a bad comparison that I question whether this is about minimizing what Ryan and Blake did rather than caring about slave labor.
What phones aren’t manufactured by slaves? I’d like to get one.
No? It sounds like you’re deflecting? And again, it sounds like you don’t care about the topic of slavery.
Does anyone else feel like there are pr people in the comments? Or is this a case of Ryan Reynolds fanboys?
edited -why are you editing your comment? Leave the “struck a nerve” comment up.
People in glasshouses and all that.
We all understand how you’re trying to deflect. Do you understand the point that the Blake and Ryan chose a slave plantation when they had many other options?
To be honest, this is a good point. I don’t think modern day slavery should be excluded from any conversation about slavery.
What are we doing end child slavery in sweat shops? Its on all of us. Claiming ignorance doesn’t wash. I’m sure many well intentioned people in the 18th (and every other) century were busy doing and discussing other things, but we see that indifference as complicity and privilege.
H&M, Apple, Nike and the rest – we need to start voting with our dollars at the very least.
Agree. Why are we not similarly outraged about modern slavery? We even support those businesses. I guess this conversation has not reached critical mass.
Agreed @Lola. It’s important to realize modern slavery still exists. It’s the reason why I avoid buying anything from the Nestle brand – Coffeemate creamer, L’Oreal products, Willy Wonka candy, etc… as Nestle is documented to use child/slave labor.
@Hope. Yes. They had other options. Just like the rest of us.
very good point @You Must Be Joking
Exactly! And those slaves don’t run away, they jump out of windows to get away from their owners, but no one has a problem buying a new iPhone every 6 months!
I appreciate what Ryan says here and the acknowledgment, and by extension that also “means” Blake. However, while he has spoken now directly on this, she has not. It’s not to say a person can’t change and it’s been years but that ‘Allure of Antebellum’ post was a giant f-cking mess- it wasn’t only just the blog post about glamorizing slavery but you could tell she just did not understand why immediately, for business and moral reasons, this should have never come to fruition, that anyone with a compass could remotely understand that this is a giant NO. She’s made an ass out of herself in other instances (see above L’Oréal example; also anyone remember when she got flak for posting a pic with the caption “Oakland booty with an LA face?”). Ryan speaking up is encouraging, but I don’t feel like that automatically excuses, or includes Blake.
I think the reason Blake is quiet is because she is not very bright. She really does not relay things in a manner that will make her look better. Also, she ain’t got nothing to promote and no one is clamoring to interview her anyway either so not stepping in it voluntarily is just common sense.
This is a really important part of the context of these comments coming out now – Ryan has something to promote and can no longer dodge the question.
Getting married on a plantation is basically peak white privilege. I’ve been to Boone Hall (we used to go to Myrtle Beach every year and my mom and I always took a day trip to Charleston, and one time we stopped at Boone Hall on the way). This was years and years ago so the main thing I remember was the main drive, and the slave cabin (because yes, that was included on the tour, but it was glossed over.)
But if you are white, you have the privilege to just see the pretty house and the pretty setting on the water and to not really think beyond that. I imagine for the many people who get married at plantations, they aren’t thinking of them any differently than they would a pretty hotel on the water or something.
And to me that’s a combination of white privilege and lack of education. What actually happened on plantations has been glossed over in schools and popular culture for decades, so white people feel they can attend a wedding on a plantation and just ignore what actually happened there. Hopefully we are at a moment where plantations stop being romanticized along with the entire ante bellum period.
anyway so I’m glad to see that he acknowledges the mistake and is putting money where his mouth is.
It’s, ugh, all of the “happy slaves” depicted in Gone with the Wind that has just completely sanitised the history of plantations for so many people.
Yes, it was basically ‘they’re part of the family, we look after them, they would be lost without us’… 🤔
Isn’t that what Scarlett’s father teaches her?
Just because I’m white doesn’t mean I don’t have a heart or an imagination and that I can’t see beyond a pretty picture.
Right, because that’s exactly what I said.
My point wasn’t that “no white person” would see beyond the pretty house, but that it is part of white privilege that ANY white person can AVOID seeing beyond the pretty house.
This isn’t about you though, it’s about Blake and Ryan. If doesn’t apply to you then just scroll by, but a hit dog and all that…
But the fact that you are white means that you have been taught, by default, to center yourself and your feelings on topics that aren’t about you.
I remember going to a plantation while on a school trip and being truly dumbfounded by how lighthearted many seemed about the experience. A couple classmates even discussed how they wished they lived back then… Though they did clarify “without the slavery, of course. we’re not racists” 😒.
Their ability to compartmentalize everything we learned about the less “genteel” aspects of that bygone era was disturbing, but not entirely surprising as the tour progressed. Has anyone ever noticed that for all the care and expense spent on preserving the plantations for the sake of “history”, almost no effort is ever made to accurately portray the enslaved people’s quarters?
Whereas the “Masters” domain is recreated with loving detail, all that remains of the people who did the work to pay for it are the barest, most sanitized of bones. Empty cabins don’t do justice to the cramped, filthy, terrible lives these people were forced to endure for generations. I can’t say whether it’s done out of apathy, greed, or genuine malice. Either way the people running these locations only exacerbate the problem by highlighting the “good” parts and barely acknowledging the bad.
Meanwhile, can you even imagine these same tourists visiting a Nazi death camp to “oh” and “ah” over the decor of the guards’ homes? Or waxing nostalgically about the Commandant of Auschwitz-Birkenau’s lifestyle or the clothing his wife and daughters wore? Is there a mansion and grounds beautiful enough that you’d host your wedding a stone’s throw away from prison barracks and gas chambers? Of course not. But somehow the US has spent hundred plus years doing exactly that.
If they really mean it, we will see it in their actions and words in the future. We’ll see..
So far the apology seems sincere. But for now it’s only words.
people did call them out for this in 2012, they just did not care
This part.
I remember our discussing it here (has it really been that long)?
Exactly, this is just a case of reading the room and adjusting for that. Especially considering he’s promoting something right now. PR 101.
Yikes! I didn’t realise they got married on a plantation!
As a U.K. CB, are plantations now mostly wedding venues / hotels / guest houses or are they also private residences? Surprised the weren’t pulled down!
There aren’t really very many still around that I know of. Houses burn (by General Sherman or lightning) , families move and die out, inheritances get carved up, land gets sold to developers. The ones I know of are resorts or living history museums. Or both, like Boone.
The few that have remained (since many were destroyed or fell into disarray after the war) are often used for weddings, or as historical sites*, and Boone Hall has been used as a filming location for many movies/tv series, since it is so well preserved – the Notebook, North and South (the John Jakes books), Queen, Scarlett – but it is also used as a wedding venue. I know a “normal” person who got married there (but to be honest this acquaintance always struck me as pretty racist, so the past probably didn’t bother her.)
*I do think we can maintain and have plantations as historical sites. But, the entire nature of how they are presented has to change. The slave quarters and the atrocities of slavery should be front and center, not a little side story after you ooh and aaah at the big mansion.
The Whitney Plantation outside New Orleans re-centers on the historicity of the narrative from the perspective of enslaved peoples. I don’t know of any others by name, but I know there is a growing movement among historical actors who participate in Antebellum/Civil War era performance to do this across the board.
*I do think we can maintain and have plantations as historical sites.*
The Hermitage, home of President Andrew Jackson, located outside of Nashville Tennessee is a good example of this.
@Bay – and Monticello and Mount Vernon. but those are obviously remembered as being more than “just” plantations. I haven’t been to either one in years (and I was a child for Monticello) but I hope there is more discussion of the slaves who were forced to work those plantations now than there was back then.
I feel like they’re being given way too much of a pass with the whole ‘it was 2012’ thing. I’m from the South and plantation weddings have been considered questionable at best for as long as I remember. I grew up near a popular plantation venue, and everyone who had a wedding there knew exactly what the venue represented and chose it because it allowed them to role play being plantation owners (in some cases very literally, these places attract a significant amount of couples with slave/owner kinks who want to spend their wedding night in the bedroom slaves were raped in). It’s always been exceptionally icky. Wealthy white couples ‘honouring’ their slave owner ancestors and pathetic grasping middle class racists hoping people will think their ancestors were rich enough to be slave owners.
It’s just like people have pointed out about blackface from 1999 or 2008 — this was a highly offensive act then. Eight years ago was not a magical time when symbols of racism weren’t widely known as symbols of racism.
Such a good point, osito. Back in 2012 regular people just didn’t have an equal platform on which to talk about these kinds of transgressions. Tone deaf people like Ryan and Blake are simply responding to the potential backlash they might receive now, not the facts about slavery that were already well known back in ‘old time’ 2012.
They were wrong. I’m glad to hear it articulated that they understand now how wrong it was. To me, Ryan Reynolds is a good guy. A woman in Vancouver had her backpack stolen. The backpack contained a build a bear with a recording of her deceased mother’s voice. It was her most precious memento. Media talked about it but @vancityreynolds tweeted about it and offered a $5,000. reward for the return of the bear. It became a huge story and the bear was recovered. It was a generous and thoughtful deed that he did for the right reasons. He’s a good guy.
That’s a very kind story about him and he can be kind and aware of the importance of someone’s build a bear with their mom’s voice and still have been a massive ass to get married on a plantation.
That’s kind of the point of all of this- there are A LOT of people who would consider themseves good and kind people (to the best of their ability) and they still have participated in and benefited from systems and situations that tortured other people while they chose (or choose) not to look at it. And Ryan and Blake chose to get married in one. That was a choice they made.
I’m Canadian and to me, getting married on a plantation is no different than if someone up here got married on the site of a former residential school where Indigenous children were forcibly separated from their families and stripped of their culture. It would be a vile and disgusting slap in the face of Indigenous people everywhere.
I find it truly shocking that Ryan and Blake were seemingly so ignorant about American history eight years ago that they didn’t think about what they were doing.
That said, I do appreciate their efforts to grow and educate themselves now.
Thanks for adding this. The “but he’s Canadian!” defenders gotta stop.
Exactly. I think I’m going to push for my son and his fiance to dress in traditional Indian wedding costumes, depending on the tribe of course, and be married on a reservation surrounded by local culture, food, dress, arts and real live Indians! 😐
Yeah, as a Canadian, trust me, he knew. He simply *chose*.
Well that’s great…eight years later. The backlash they received wasn’t small when it first happened. But it was mostly BLACK voices calling them out. Which we know folks love to ignore. But now in this current climate where they are being called out by black AND white people they have decided to apologize. So yeah…I guess.
Valiantly Varnished, it is funny how that works. It was discussed on this site too. As someone mentioned up above…but yeah eight years later and now it’s not a good look.
Thank you. The “but the conversation had not reached critical mass” bit is… so, basically, if the majority of white people aren’t talking about it, it doesn’t count?
They were called out in 2012. Laineygossip even went “don’t they know how this looks.” But it actually intrudes on their mainstream image NOW. NOW, they care.
I’m not saying burn them at the stake, but their priorities are clear.
We don’t need to burn them to a crisp on a stake, but having their feet held to the fire and singeing them a bit a bit on this isn’t so terrible.
This whole conversation reminds me of the time my MIL was going to New Orleans and I mentioned the Holocaust museum and she said “I don’t like seeing the atrocities people commit against each other.” Okay, fair enough. Then she mentioned that they would be visiting a plantation. When I called out the hypocrisy she said “I just love the architecture.” It was super awkward but I can only hope she took the time to keep thinking about that.
Are you referring to the national WWII museum in New Orleans? It’s an incredible place that anyone visiting the city should take the opportunity to see. It’s divided into two separate sections, the European and Pacific, and covers all aspects of the war in detail. A visitor can skip over any parts that might make them feel uncomfortable, but I will say that it’s not overwhelming with the Holocaust aspect. It’s a very small exhibit that’s part of a massive exhibit of the War. Nothing at all compared to the national holocaust museum in DC. Just a side note in case anyone was interested 🙂
Yes! My apologies for my error, that’s what I get for commenting while on a zoom call haha.
I agree, the WW II Museum in New Orleans is incredible. I cannot recommend it enough 🙂
That museum is REMARKABLE. My husband and I spent four days in New Orleans as part of our honeymoon and that was the stop that we still talk about 10 years later.
I had no idea there was a museum there, thanks, next time I visit I gotta go see this.
The WWII museum in New Orleans is exceptional. When we were there, there was a temporary exhibit on the Japanese internment camps. I was visiting with my kids, who are Asian, and I cried through the entire exhibit. The whole museum is so well done.
Ryan Reynolds is trying to correct the wrong done by him and Blake by marrying on a plantation that represents the horrors of slavery with speaking out, by apologizing and donating funds.
I very much appreciate it as a black woman from the south, because it shows growth and acknowledgement of past mistakes and I forgive Ryan, but not Blake, not yet at least.
It seems to me that Blake is the main problem in regards to this issue.
My understanding is that Blake wanted her wedding on the plantation and Ryan went along with it, which does not absolve him of responsibility at all, he should have known better.
And the truth is Blake has some explanation to provide about that awful L’Oréal add also, she just seems quite ignorant, especially since she is American.
Blake should educate herself, learn your homeland’s history.
What does she need to explain to the public about her Native American ancestors? Genuine question
Basically it seems like a lot of people want to claim Cherokee background based on vague claims that someone in their family heard that – maybe – an ancestor of theirs was a Cherokee princess…..many seem to think it’s a fun and trendy thing to claim, when they didn’t grow up identifying as such, and most don’t actually have any genealogical evidence (or if they do, it’s a great-great-great-great grandparent….which is fine, but these people are generally still 99.9% white, claiming to be Native American).
On another note, I like Elizabeth Warren, but the fact that she registered at Harvard as Native American was pretty clueless.
Thanks for explaining @A.
FWIW I’ve watched the offending L’oreal advert. It didn’t seem to me like Blake was claiming to be Native American. She included “Cherokee” in the list nationalities of her ancestors – which she does in fact have via the McAlpin side of her family. There’s a burial site in GA which is the final resting place of decendents from that line which they all maintain. Not sure what the correct way of her reflecting this when the subject matter of the advert was essentially “what is your ancestoral background?”. Beyonce included Native American and French in her list. Seemed to me to just be a statement of fact
Thanks, everyone. I have learned so much by coming on to Celebitchy. I’m in Australia, and we might speak the same language as America speaks, we might follow the same pop culture, and might even share some history, but every time I come on here I seem to learn something new. So many things are different, yet so much is the same. We have taken up the BLM cause so willingly because, even after the Royal Commission into Black Deaths in Custody ended in 1991, we still managed to amass more 430 deaths of Indigenous people while in custody. Not one conviction, not one charge, not one arrest. We don’t have “plantation weddings”, but that doesn’t mean we don’t understand what the issue with them is. There’s a movement down here, burning slowly, I’ll admit, which seeks to examine Australia’s own slave history, because there are plenty of people who deny we have such a past. That’s complete bollocks. Any country that has prospered to the extent that our countries have, did so via slavery. Some of our lily-white history needs to be rewritten.
We don’t need to constantly beat ourselves up about mistakes we made yesterday due to our ignorance. Today we know better, we understand more, and it’s our duty to show others a better way – be that your child, sibling, parent, friend, neighbour, colleague etc.
Thanks again.
I see this as a good thing. Things have so rapidly changed in the last couple of years. WE ARE MORE AWARE. In 2012 maybe I would have gotten married on a beautiful plantation if I had the money to do it? I don’t know. In 2020 F that shit. I WOULD NEVER. We have all changed. AND IT IS SO GOOD!!! They are putting their money in their apology. I am into it.
The claiming native American heritage thing has got to stop. SO MANY PEOPLE DO THIS WHO HAVE NO BUSINESS DOING IT. It’s weird.
Im wondering if there were any Black guests at the wedding…
Black people have plantation weddings too. Not sure about the percentages, but there are many articles on it
What’s your point?
I think her point is that since black people to attend weddings at plantations (and this is true).
Yes, there may have been black guests at the wedding.
But no matter, it makes no difference to the important conversation being had on the abhorrent practice.
My point was that I wonder if they were uncomfortable, is all. That is, if Blake and Ryan even had any Black guests. I wasn’t trying to imply any hypocrysy on the part of any Black guests.
Well, as a black person, they don’t need my forgiveness, but I respect the work they’ve been doing to help others. It takes a lot to admit your mistakes, apologize publicly and vow to be better. Absolutely nobody is perfect and if everyone had a mirror held up to their lives for public judgement and damnation, humanity would implode.
Slavery is still alive and well today. What can we be doing to put an end to it? How can WE do better? As we have seen, ignorance is not a defence.
I see comments here trying to give them the space to grow and learn from past mistakes. That’s good and all, but as a black person I’m still very hurt that less than a decade ago, less than a decade ago they married on a plantation and she glorified the Dixie south. Would they ever get married in Aushwitz ? Berkineau? And don’t try to tell me it’s not the same thing. Like the death camps, Plantations are concentrated historical sites of mass murder, atrocities and forced labor.
What message is that sending? Because I was on twitter then and we called them out! But they chose not to address it, all the while utilizing blackness as part of their career trajectory (see: Blake appearing in On the Run, Ryan utilizing black music and culture to prop up Deadpool, Blake and her La Face, Oakland booty post). They are problematic and still are. But y’all are giving them a pass because they are good looking ?
I just find it hard to stomach that they could be so insensitive and blind in the very recent past. Their apology does not absolve them. And I do not accept it.
Well said! White people should stop all this hand wringing and cries of “I didn’t realize it was wrong!” Yes you did but didn’t care because for many black pain is easily dismissed. Black people have said plantation weddings are effed up this whole time.
Pretending that white people are *just now* being made aware of racism infantilizing and dishonest. They knew but cosplaying as brutal slave owners on their wedding day was more important
@Nina Simone
“all the while utilizing blackness as part of their career trajectory”
This! They both do that. As for Blake, she was Florence Welch’s best friend, Florence even sang at their wedding, then she tried to get close to Beyoncè and she finally managed to enter Taylor’s clan. Not even her/their friendships seem genuine tbh.
I live in south Louisiana and pretty much every person I know got married in either a church or a plantation. It’s just extremely common since I live in an area with a ton of plantations. I can tell you that many folks down here would not even bat an eye at being invited to a plantation wedding. It might take another 20 years or so before people down here consider it wrong.
Did not John F. Kennedy, Jr. and Caroline Bassette Kennedy get married in a historic slave church on Cumberland Island, Georgia?
Excuse me, but getting married at a slave church does not equal getting married at a plantation.
False equivalency. Completely false.
Churches are welcome for all the faithful. Including slave churches. Nice try though
YES! I’m born and raised southern californian who recently moved to southern louisiana. People here don’t care. Neighborhoods, apartment complexes, shopping centers, they all have the word plantation in them, even the new ones. It’s a huge culture shock, and I can’t even imagine the daily traumatization it causes the black people who have to see it.
Yeah-i think blake was the one driving these decisions to marry on a plantation and of course her lifestyle site fetishizing antebellum civil war era south. That’s the reason ryan is talking about this and not blake, she wouldn’t sound genuine in discussing these ‘mistakes’- remember she complained during a film festival press conference thar stars shouldn’t be asked about me too and times up stuff because fred astair wouldn’t have been asked those things AKA its not classy to talk about it, lets sweep it under the rug to make things seem nicer; just like how antebellum and the old south was built on the backs of slaves ‘oh lets not talk about it thats uncomfortable.’ I think this is blakes mindset
Blake Lively is way dumber than she seems (which is phew a lot!) if she thought it was reasonable to compare herself to Fred Astaire. Geez louise…
As a white person I’m not going to comment on whether the apology should be accepted or if it goes far enough.
I consider myself an ally. Over the past few years I’ve put my money and feet where my mouth is. But I can’t say I was always an ally, other that just saying I am. I can’t say I’ve always been aware of my white privilege, that my attitude/words/actions may have contributed at times. Like there is no perfect victim, I don’t think there can be a perfect ally. If something from my past, a word, a post, a picture, etc gets dug up, does that negate what I’ve tried to contribute in the past few years? Does that mean my more educated views don’t count now? Should very imperfect people like me bother trying to learn and grow now? Just general thoughts.
ETA: typos
I think it absolutely is possible for people to evolve and learn from their mistakes, including Ryan and Blake. However, I think what’s rubbing folks the wrong way is the fact that people are trying to minimize what they did by saying, “It was 2012! How could they have possibly known better in 2012?”
I mean, 2012 was not that long ago, and plenty of people called them out on it back then. They just didn’t listen.
So while I don’t think what they did was irredeemable, I would appreciate it if people would just acknowledge that they did something insensitive and are now trying to better, without using “2012” as an excuse.
My question was more general and not specific to RR and BL. I agree 2012 isn’t that long ago
Yes HeatherC…I agree, Ryan’s apology/explanation seemed matter of fact and genuine.
The past does not negate trying to be better in the present.
It’s so wonderful for y’all to pick apart and judge every apology by every celebrity for every mistake they ever made. Ryan apologized, said they were dumb and clueless, pledged to learn more and do better in the future, and have contributed big bucks to fight racism, but of course that’s not enough! I sure hope St. Peter at the Golden Gates remembers every stupid wrong thing you’ve ever done. I’m not even a big fan of them, it’s just so predictable that with any apology, the remarks range from they don’t mean it, they should have known by then, & they annoy me. And for everyone who comments that I shouldn’t read the comments then, you are absolutely right. I’m not going to in the future, because y’all really sound like a smug mob.
This is a gossip site called Celebitchy…not the Pearly Gates.
This is where we get to be smug mobs lol. Sometimes we let it all hang out and get reemed for it. Sometimes we get high-fived. Most times we react on any given day unloading brain farts into the bitchy cybercosmos for nobody’s benefit but our own, requiring no comment whatsoever. One tiny miniscule release on a thread we were interested enough to click, read, digest and say something. Anything. It’s all good.
Good for them for evolving and changing. Honestly as someone who is not familiar with the southern culture (I’m aware of slavery and racism obviously) I might not have thought a plantation wedding was not that bad in 2012. Now it’s come to light how tacky and hurtful it is but I just never thought about it since I’ve never lived in the south and it never came up. Sometimes it seems like we hate people
(Celebs, politicians, normal people) for changing their views and growing instead of always being 100% woke based on todays’s standards and I don’t think that’s realistic. I’ll cut them some slack for the wedding.
I agree that Blake’s seeming fixation on all things ‘Antebellum’ is problematic, as was getting married on a plantation. But we do also need to leave room for people to learn and grow, and be able to accept it when someone offers a sincere apology and appears to be doing the work to educate and better themselves. I think Ryan’s apology was sincere, and I see that he’s donated to some good causes as well.
Great comment. Totally agree.
Blake and Ryan are both stupid self absorbed Hollywierd idiots. They absolutely were fetishising a particular era in slavery. I also came here to say that Colonial Plantation houses are preserved and still used for weddings in several of the Caribbean islands. Births, deaths, celebrations, insurrections, carnivals happened in and outside these houses. They are absolutely not Auchwitz (only death happened there). Some of these are now black owned (I know of 3 where I’m from) and the houses have gone through at least 3 generations of the same family. I also know several POC that got married In these houses fully knowing the history. Some know that their ancestors were born and lived their lives on these estates regardless of the circumstances that brought them there.
You’re speaking of majority black nations vs. the U.S. where black people are still terrified for their lives at simple traffic stops. It’s different.
I mean, I guess it’s good that their perspectives have changed and they are more educated on this matter but .. really?? I have never, ever understood how people think a plantation is an appropriate location for a wedding. Yes, the main house and grounds are beautiful but having a wedding there is akin to choosing a former concentration camp for the location because you think the architecture is really nice.
My friend and I took a trip to New Orleans years back and we took a side trip to a plantation. We were both aghast to find out that seeing the slave quarters was only an -optional- part of the tour. If plantations are going to offer tours, it should be a WHOLE TOUR. People shouldn’t be allowed to ignore the context. We cried as we walked through every single slave quarter and we talked at length how inappropriate it was that this place was also offering themselves up as a wedding location.
Heartless. Cruel. Abominable.
Blake does not seem to be very bright and perhaps that’s why she’s kind of disappeared from the public eye and emphasises her outfits on film promos – so she can stop putting her foot in it. Ryan Reynolds is exhausting with his social media cuteness/jokes including his bantering with Wolverine. I do like him in dramas or serious films; he is an underrated dramatic actor who unfortunately often goes for trashy films for their mainstream appeal. The Fast Company article is worth reading though; he is a good marketer and entrepreneur and totally wants to do what Clooney did with his drink brand.
Anyway, I don’t think cancel culture is very helpful most of the time. Obviously people like Woody Allen, Weinstein, and Polanski cross the boundary but this is about public conversation. The more you cancel for grey areas, the more you alienate those people who need to change as they get super defensive and even more determined to stick to their guns.
Agreed. Ryan’s media banter with Jackman is as annoying as the one with Blake. Funny the first few time, then totally predictable.
I saw an announcement of a new project involving Reynolds, now it’s clear why he felt the need to apologize 8 years after the wedding.
He keeps getting new roles (and he always does the same Deadpool sarcastic character in every movie) and Blake stays home doing her housewife thing.
I want the same apologies not only from the Biebers but also from their black friends that had 0 problems to celebrates a wedding in a former plantation…last year. I mean is ok to drink and be in a social media wedding where your ancestors were tortured and killed. I had no words for their stupidity. But hey a black man design the bride dress, the new husband have a lot of black friends and is kardashian and hadid clan aprovved…everything is ok…they are not racist…
As a black woman, I think it was good of him to acknowledge their lapse in judgement. We can’t nail someone to the cross for their past misgivings if they’re actively trying to be better. Yes, it was very tactless but with him acknowledging it on a public platform, I can totally appreciate that. We’re not perfect but it’s the effort and acknowledgement that matters. I think he’s coming from a good place and he and Blake are exhibiting that they are learning. We need to be kinder to one another.
How long must Black folks wait for white people to “wake up”? When we’re all dead or killed by overt and covert racism? I’m so tired. Everyone wants forgiveness after the fact, but there is more than enough information out there and available and clear everywhere you go and work and visit regarding this country’s horrific history and the continued systemic application of racism, anti-Blackness, and the systematized myth of white supremacy. I’m sick of it. Do the work instead of pleading for likes and good PR after the fact.
He handled this issue really well, and I think his response was a really good one. I like that he got into the issue of shame, particularly how it prompts you to behave in certain ways when you confront the stuff you’ve done in the past. So good job, Ryan Reynolds.
At any rate, the main issue with Blake Lively and the plantation wedding wasn’t the wedding itself. I mean, I’m pretty sure that plenty of people did that sh-t, knowingly or otherwise, in the decades past. The issue was, I think, more her attitude, or at least what people perceived was her attitude. I feel like people felt she was, I dunno, erring a bit too much on the side of Goop, for a while there? And while I can’t remember if she herself came out and said anything in defense of the plantation wedding stuff, aside from her post about it on her lifestyle blog, I think people just sort of wrote her off because of how they saw her, and tacked on the plantation wedding stuff to the list of stuff they already didn’t really like her for.
Anyway, I’m glad he said this, and I’m glad it was Ryan Reynolds himself who said this. I don’t know how people would have received it if it had come from Blake Lively. I think, out of the two of them, people definitely see Ryan Reynolds as more of the “aw shucks,” kind of guy, so this apology was perfectly tailored for him. I don’t doubt that it’s sincere, or that the two of them don’t feel bad, but from the stand point of optics, it was good that it came from him.
Somebody referred this plantation to concentration Camp???? Please, go visit Birkenau and imagine a wedding. Giant facepalm.
What do you mean? Just because plantations are pretty doesn’t mean they aren’t equally horrible.
Human beings were raped, tortured, killed etc there as well.
Never cared for either of them. Not a lot of talent, but they got really, really lucky. Blake has a knack for hooking up with the “right” people at the right time. Remember when she was DiCaprio’s gf? That was Giselle’s first big gig, too, and it worked like a dream for both of them.
You are so ignorant and jealous. You must be in love with DiCaprio. His fans are always attacking his girlfriends.
This is a ‘feminist’ site, but sometimes we have to see comments like this.No, it wasn’t her first big gig. She was one of the most successful models in the world when she met him, but you want to ignore all those Vogue covers and the best contracts in the business. You just care about the fact that she dated the love of your life.
These two women didn’t need him and your comment has nothing to do with this story.