Lindsay Lohan’s been the victim of a two break-ins since she moved into her rented home less than a year ago. It’s hard to feel badly for her, considering she’s believed to have quite the sticky fingers herself. The thieves stole really strange things – everything from a safe to actual doors. But Lindsay herself points out they left valuable electronics while going for the more personal items. Not that a door is personal – but whatever was in that safe probably is. According to Bill Zwecker of the Chicago Sun-Times, Lindsay had “incriminating” photos and videos in there. Which I’m going to assume means nasty, filthy sex tapes.

I’ve learned the real reason Lindsay Lohan is so upset about the theft of the safe from her L.A. house is the contents included some very incriminating videos and photos, plus legal documents, that LiLo believes could cause embarrassment if made public.

[From the Chicago Sun-Times]

I’m sure the really embarrassing things are Lindsay’s legal papers. All those lawsuits and settlements for running over people’s feet in angry rages… that’s some embarrassing stuff. Or contracts that show her salary. That’s humiliating. A good sex tape could make her! Wait, no. Considering the recent trout pout, emaciated frame, and poorly-applied orange skin paint (I refuse to call it self tanner), I’d rather see a Mel Gibson sex tape. Shudder. It couldn’t possibly make Lindsay’s reputation any worse though. She’s blown every opportunity she’s ever had to blow. Enjoy that sentence.

Lindsay herself Tweeted that the whole thing was an inside job:

@duke2001j that’s how i know it was not a ROBBERY. electronics weren’t taken… just things that a certain old friend knew meant a lot to me

about 14 hours ago from web

[From Lindsay Lohan’s Twitter]

So, what have we learned here? Well, Lindsay Lohan has enemies. And not the unimaginative type that just write nasty things on bathroom walls or call up the Enquirer to give them exclusives. The kind that break into your house and steal your crown moldings and your sex tapes. Oh and that unicorn statue you think is really art. And they’ve managed to get away with it so far too, which means Lohan also has friends that are at least 17 I.Q. points higher than her. That’ll put them somewhere around the 110 range – we should tell cops to look out for that and put it in their description.

This is based on absolutely nothing, but if I had to bet which ex is behind this, I’d say Courtenay Semel. She’s at least as crazy as Lohan, and definitely seems off her rocker enough to go for it. Somehow I can see one of Lohan’s female exes being behind this more than I can see a guy.

Now let’s start crossing our fingers that hopefully she/he is just trying to blackmail Lohan. Pay them whatever they want Lindsay! Just please, please don’t let that tape leak.

Thanks to Dlisted for the lead!

Here’s Lindsay Lohan leaving her L.A. home yesterday. Images thanks to WENN.com .