Last night, I began reading Finding Freedom (the hard cover) and I’m really enjoying it. Honestly, I’ve skimmed some parts because I already knew some of it, but overall, this is a very enjoyable read. I’m again struck by how Prince Harry drove the relationship and how opinionated he was – the British tabloids always narrated the relationship to make it sound like Harry was so weak and Meghan controlled him. That was not the case, at all. He was the one pursuing, he was the one making decisions about the pace of their relationship and all of that.
I’m also thinking a lot about the fundamental differences between not just Kate and Meghan and their wants and needs, but the fundamental difference in desires of the two brothers: William craved the middle-class “family” represented by the Middletons, and the mummy who would “take care” of him, Carole Middleton. Harry craved intimacy, and he wanted to take care of someone and be with someone who would treat him like a man and help him become a better man. And, as always, Harry was just ready to be married. His light was on. So much of his relationship with Meghan hinged on that, I still believe that – the timing was everything for both of them.
What’s also striking – I’m about 150 pages into it – is how infrequently the Duchess of Cambridge appears in the H&M’s courtship. Meghan met Prince William about two months before she met Kate, and William appears several times throughout the courtship, mostly in the beginning. Kate clearly showed no interest in meeting Meghan, and Harry (again) drove the decision to introduce the two women. Even when it was clear that Harry and Meghan were head over heels, Kate did nothing to help Meghan or advise her in any way. Even when Harry had told the Kensington Palace courtiers that Meghan was the woman he would marry, Kate still didn’t do sh-t. What’s interesting is what is left unsaid:
Though not necessarily her responsibility, Kate did little to bridge the divide. She was fiercely loyal to her husband and his family.
Although Kate and Meghan were close in age, they weren’t meeting each other at the same point in their lives. Kate had been deeply embedded in the royal family ever since she met William in college. A mother of three (and mother of the heir to the throne), her life revolved around family and duty to monarchy and country.
Kate and Meghan came from different backgrounds and have had vastly different life experiences. Kate was never interested in having a career, while that was always a driver for Meghan. They also had different personalities. While Kate was shy and quiet, Meghan was an extrovert.
Harry didn’t care what his family thought or said. “Nothing was going to get in the way of his happiness,” a source close to Harry and Meghan said. “He knew Meghan was right for him. Their love was real, and their feelings for each other were genuine. Everything else was noise.”
[From Finding Freedom: Harry, Meghan, and the Making of a Modern Royal Family]
“She was fiercely loyal to her husband and his family” reads differently in context of the lack of support given to Harry and Meghan throughout 2017. Surely Kate saw Harry as part of William’s family? Where was her loyalty to him? It seems like Kate’s fierce loyalty dissipated as soon as another woman entered the picture. As for the authors’ comment about “Kate and Meghan came from different backgrounds and have had vastly different life experiences. Kate was never interested in having a career, while that was always a driver for Meghan…” I mean, it’s true. Kate spent 10 years waiting for the ring and going on beach holidays and ski holidays and pretending to do a couple of made-up jobs. Meghan hustled and worked since she was a kid, and she never thought about making a career out of throwing herself into the path of princes.
Photos courtesy of WENN, Avalon Red.
I mean, it’s completely true and considering the fact that the media have to bend over backwards to make her passionate and hardworking is proof of this. She was content staying in the back, quietly raising her children and there is nothing wrong with that but trying to make her something that she isn’t doesn’t work. You can’t tell me the RF and BM were not only jealous and threatened of Meghan but they were angry that she was upstaging Kate and still to this day. There is a lot of insecurity regarding the coverage of Kate especially since they can’t have an American overshadowing their homegrown “English Rose” Yikes.
Nothing wrong with being a stay at home mom. So why not let her stay home and raise their kids. When she becomes POW, then she can take on more appearances.
The palaces trying to sell her as this hard working woman is a joke and insulting.
I mean… well yeah. You only have to look at what Kate did between graduating from uni/college up to the point of getting married – which was not much. And it’s fine. She wanted to marry a prince so that’s what she did. Lots of women just want to get married to a rich husband/a husband in general and look after the kids. I don’t think Kate or her siblings were particularly interested in having a career and their parents didn’t encourage them to have one – marrying up was the goal. Which Kate and Pippa achieved.
And Kate is shy and quiet? Oh please. The only shy she is, is work-shy.
But I will say this extract reads very Tatler-esque. If this was in a Tatler article, I wouldn’t question it.
Lol @ work shy
I will say though, I read the line “She was fiercely loyal to her husband and his family” slightly different. if she’s loyal to her husband and his family, and she showed Meg an attitude, then maybe she was just doing what they told her. If Will and the rest of that family had truly welcomed Meg, Kitty Kat would have had no choice but to be nice to Meg
I’m not absolving her, she’s an adult, but, like the book says. There was a lot of talk going on in the palace. Her attitude was probably a reflection of private conversations.
I mean, QE2’s former secretary, when H&M were first announced to be dating, boldly went on twitter and declared the relationship a fling and not going anywhere. Even thought H had apparently made it clear that he was dead serious about her.What gave him the confidence to say that? From the. Down, we know these people keep their noses in palace business even when they retire… sooooo.
I agree. For all we know, Harry raved to introduce both of them initially and William left her out intentionally from those initial meetings. She may have asked him if she should reach out and he said no. She may have been discouraged from doing anything in the beginning with everyone thinking it was temporary and then it snowballed into a bigger issue resulting in hurt feelings and grudges. If I were Meghan and heard people were taking about me behind my back, I wouldn’t want to be close to them either. I’m sure she saw enough back stabbing in Hollywood to see the value is just staying away
Um, there is nothing wrong with a woman NOT wanting a professional career. There is nothing wrong with a woman pursuing her professional career. I don’t like this „who is the best woman„ pageant…
Oh there’s absolutely nothing wrong with a woman not wanting a career. I’ve said that in an above reply.
The only “problem” it has is people/palace PR acting like she wants to work so hard or that she does work so hard when it’s pretty obvious she just wants to be a stay-at-home mother – which again, there’s nothing wrong with but at the same time, you shouldn’t be marrying the future future King if work is not something you like/want to do.
Exactly. Don’t try to make her something that she’s not. It’s been clear for years that she doesn’t care the least bit for “working” Again, there’s nothing with that but don’t try to mask it and resell it as supposed hard work because it’s actually insulting.
Correct. KP/RR should stop trying to push this Kate being “keen” to work stuff and just admit she’d prefer to be a stay-at-home mother. Hell, there is probably a way they could have spun that into a positive thing for women in the UK who chose to stay home with their kids as well.
Instead they keep going.trying to spin her into something she’s not, and so it all just rings false. And Kate’s lack of intrest just shows about it all as well.
She doesn’t even want to be a stay at home mom. She’s got a full time nanny, housekeeper and cook. What parts of being a sahm does she actually do? I think she wants to be a lady who lunches.
Thank you, Sofia. The dichotomy is numbing. There is nothing wrong with wanting to stay home with your kids and walk in your husband’s shadow. Nothing at all! But, you can’t turn around and have courtiers try to past you off as this innovative, forward thinking CEO type. People are not that stupid.
@fluffy_bunny DING! DING! DING! Kate is the epitome of that.
@fluffybunny – exactly! Not to say she’s not close to her children or that she isn’t good with children in general- but she clearly is not the “average normal” SAHM that the BRF holds her out to be. She’d be happier being Pippa – married to a Terribly Moderately Wealthy(tm) man, have nannies and cooks doing the heavy lifting, lunch with her friends, do the odd social charity ‘do and go shopping.
@Bamaborn: Plus she’s married to the future future King and her lifestyle is heavily subsidised by taxpayer funds. So there’s a reasonable expectation to work.
If she wanted to sit at home all day: she’s married to the wrong man.
The consensus seems to be that Kate is work shy = professional work-shy, charitable work-shy, royal-work shy, etc. Heck she even has “staff” to manage the banalities of being a housewife: cooks, nannies, cleaners. Just another sphere to be work-shy of.
One does wonder about the bedroom and Willie’s wandering septre…
Omg fluffy_bunny you’re right. She has domestic help. At least Pippa achieved it?
Nobody is making this a best woman pageant. The text just said they are very different and pointed out the reasons why.
Had they said something more along the lines of ” Kate waited ten years of her life for William ” instead of “Kate had been deeply embedded in the royal family ever since she met William in college.” I would agree with you—but they did not.
It is very interesting since yesterday to notice how people fill imaginary gaps when given this small tidbits of the book.
Now, what I found slightly problematic, but not entirely, is this insistence of describing Kate as ” shy and quiet” to Meghan´s ” extrovert” because I personally believe these do not fit their personalities and are just subtly playing into sterotypes.
This being said, I think their caution in describing Kate works in her favor. I think it is odd to pretend otherwise.
I think it shows that some people are actually a bit insecure about Kate’s choice to not have a career or want one. I think Kate is also insecure about that, because otherwise, why would they constantly push the narrative that she’s super hardworking, a “top CEO”? The book excerpt, the post on Celebitchy, and the comments did NOT say that there was a problem with Kate being a full time at home woman who has no interest in a career. But apparently, even just mentioning that she IS a full time at home woman is making people feel insecure and defensive and I think it’s because they may not actually be as comfortable with the validity of that choice as they are claiming.
@Amy Too — kudos, bravos……………….you are 100% right!!!
We need a like button here
No one has ever suggested that there is something wrong with staying home with kids but every time this comes up we always have to mention this because there are a ton of people who take it personally. At the end of the day Kate does not stay home with her kids without a ton of help. She is not the regular stay at home mom. She is a lady who lunches and makes some time for her kids. Nanny Maria still resides with them and Kate doesn’t have an actual full time job so what does she need a live in nanny for at this point? George and Charlotte are in school and Louis will be in pre school soon. I don’t know any stay at home moms with a live in nanny and housekeeper. Especially when they have school age children and they don’t work. So let’s go back and quote the Queen from over a decade ago and ask “but what does she do?”
@nic919, you may not know stay at home moms without help because of where you live, but in some countries it is more common, even for the middle class, to have help in the house. I live in a Latin American country and know plenty of women who can afford help with their home and kids, and that does not lessen who they are. Of course there are those who are terrible to their employees or whatnot, but that’s sadly true about some people in all walks of life. I do not have the impression that the Cambridges are terrible to their staff so at least there is that.
Kate is probably not the ideal character people want from a “modern” royal. I do not envy the pressure on her to be perfect in every way. It just shows that it is a crapshoot who becomes a Royal and if they are “good” for the role in the eyes of the public.
Kate has lost a lot of staff because they have them do more work than they should. She hasn’t been nice to many and in fact staff members who once worked for the Queen started to work for Kate and William and asked to go back to the Queen because the Cambridges weren’t reasonable. I could also get into how Carole was often ordering the staff about even though she never paid for the.m. And let’s stop making excuses for this lazy woman. Kate is English not Latin American and in her culture having all that help is usually because you are expected to do work. Which is what Diana did and what Anne and Sophie currently do. The girl is just lazy. We are on decade two of Kate confirming this.
There is nothing wrong with not wanting a career – I was going to say more but I don’t want to start a mommy war on here.
But, the issue with KATE is that she was so obsessed with the crown and getting the prince, that she completely missed the point that marrying a royal IS like having a career – it IS a job. Kate is the only royal spouse who does NOT treat it like a job. If she didn’t want to work, and just wanted to stay in her country mansion and raise her kids, she shouldn’t have married the future future king.
Her lack of a desire for a career is evident when you see how she has been as a royal.
Kate doesn’t need to be focused on a separate career if being royal is her career, but she doesn’t even treat being royal as something she is fully committed to. She could be busy every single day because as the FFQ, these organizations and charities come to her. It’s not as if she is a woman struggling to find a direction who has to go out, volunteer at one place, work part-time at another until something clicks. I maintain that Kate is arrested in her development at 19 when she met Wills and was thrown into the public eye. At that stage of her life, Carole was directing Kate’s movements and continued to do so well past Kate’s mid-twenties. Kate is now drowning in her inability to do anything that is not charted out for her by someone else. And, because the palace isn’t keen on her outshining Wills, they keep her schedule light, and Kate just shrugs and goes along with it.
@Harper, I don’t disagree with you on your theory of stunted emotional development. It’s obvious that Kate is a very immature woman and her treatment of Meghan confirms it. I do wonder how she will deal with her children because she is unable to function properly as an adult.
Kate is committed to being royal. She birthed the heirs, does all the required photo-ops and the tours. What she doesn’t want to do is the charity work and make-work. Remember, Catherine Quinn left the palace position to do charity work.
Will and Kate don’t want to do all the charity projects. That was Harry’s job, but they kicked out his wife…so………..
“there is nothing wrong with a woman NOT wanting a professional career”
It kind of becomes a problem when that woman wants to live off the tax payers in a castle, with tiaras, helicopter rides and fancy gowns. She is essentially a public servant, she needs to give people value for money. To date she has not.
@zapp – well put – I was trying to think of a way to phrase what you just wrote and you did it better than I was going to. And that’s the massive issue for me. She’s a public servant who has to earn her keep. If not, they’re just leeches and should stand aside – or just abolish the whole damn thing.
Kate should have married a rich non-royal if she didn’t want to work. I’m perfectly fine with not wanting a career. I didn’t want one when my kids were young. I’m not fine with someone having a million dollar wardrobe, multiple mansions, and luxury vacations because she is supposed to be a working – senior royal. Her extravagant lifestyle is justified because she’s supposed to be showing up and doing charity, yet she barely does that.
This is exactly it. Women can absolutely do whatever they want career wise. But she didn’t just marry a man, she married a FIRM. There was already a job description for her. And she appears to be unable/unwilling to do that job.
@Redgrl I’d rather they abolish the monarchy. Channel the money back to the charities. Harry and his family would get their privacy and sanity. If this toxicity in the RF goes on, who’s next even if they keep Archie sheltered? How about George, Charlotte, their spouses etc…why must they be subjected to this.
The thing is she did not use the University degree. For instance there would have been plenty of time for her to have work at an art gallery. She was in effect on call for William–she was there by the phone and was not bothered with deadlines, she had sporadic flexible part time work, mostly she was not working.William was obviously not going to propose right away and he did not fully commit to her since he wanted to see other people. It is an anachronism to the 1950s when women got the degree in MRS. Kate was not shy and quiet. A shy woman would not have worn the see through outfit on a fashion runway to impress William. She also was not shy because she staged photo ops at clubs during the breakup to “show William what he was missing.” No shy demure person would do that.
Yes! It wasn’t just having no interest in a career. She had no interest in a paying job of any kind or in voluntary work. She had no desire to work at all. The 11 month part-time Jig-Saw gig was because the Queen had, reportedly, told William there should be no official engagement until Kate had some kind of occupation.
Also noteworthy is that none of the Middleton offspring has had any interest in a career. They all stayed close to home. Pippa’s money-making enterprises were all connected to her sister’s position as William’s girlfriend. They are a typical enmeshed family, over-involved in each others’ lives and unable to live independently.
The timeline was that Kate was not working for months and months and the QUeen wondered what she did. She got the job at Jigsaw part time, flexible hours, and was given a compassionate leave because of the breakup then Kate never went back to jigsaw. WIlliam was having no part of an engagement and said he was not ready to marry (ca. 2005). The engagement happened 5 years later.
Chasing after a prince requires a personality that is not shy so I don’t believe at all she is shy.
The other problem is that she is supposed to be a ‘working’ royal which is why as a taxpayer I have to contribute to her upkeep and lifestyle. I want something for my money please. Make a difference.
Women don’t need to have a career, but most women by 29, if they aren’t stay at home moms usually have some kind of job. Or if they are rich socialites, they tend to be involved in a lot of charitable work, even if for show. Kate couldn’t be bothered to do any of that. And until George was born in 2013, she never had any excuse for doing as little as she has done.
YES. Those 10 years are what really bother me about the Kate just wants to be with her kids narrative. I’m currently a stay at home mom so I definitely understand prioritizing that (though unlike Kate I don’t have nannies or servants…). But what was she doing for 10 years before she had kids?? And as others have said, she technically DOES have a career as a senior working royal funded by taxpayer dollars, she just doesn’t actually do the job.
I don’t think there is anything morally wrong with not pursuing a career. And for Kate, I think there is nothing personally wrong with not pursuing a career because her family is independently wealthy. But – and I hate to say this – for most women, not pursing a career and an independent stream of income puts them in a very dependent position when it comes to money, which can become limiting and worse later in life – especially in your 70s and 80s. It’s not just about the kids you raise when you’re young. It’s about how you’re going to take care of yourself when you are old if you don’t have job market skill or a pension. I’ve see so many women go through this and it breaks my heart.
so many excuses were made for Kate not working pre marriage. When the Queen allegedly asked why Kate did not work she got a job with a family friend, a part time job with flexible hours, co-workers did not remember seeing much of Kate. But another excuse was she was “hounded” going to work and it in a way was a sort of “guilt trip” spin because William was not proposing and she could not possibly work and what was she to do? She could have gotten a job, even the most photographed woman in the world at the time, Jackie Kennedy, managed to work as a book editor.
The book excerpt didn’t even say it’s wrong. The book is just attempting to analyze Kate’s personality here. There’s nothing wrong with treating this as a job or duty instead of a career. But the RR or whoever is pursuing the narrative of top CEO should be aware this narrative doesn’t gel and try something more believable.
I think it says a LOT about a woman who, in the 21st century, spent 10 years running after a man and never even THINKING about working. That might work in romance novels, but in the real world it’s pretty sad, in my opinion. Kate didn’t even do charity work. She spent TEN YEARS going after William, with her mother bankrolling the whole endeavour. And after she got the man and became a princess, she didn’t even want to do the job that went with the title. It was only AFTER Meghan announced that she was eager to work that Katie became keen.
I don’t even think romance writers would write a character in this day and age who just chased after a man and didn’t work. They would rightly think that their readers wouldn’t give two hoots about such a shallow character.
Kerwood, could you imagine how long and boring the romance novel would be that covered Kate’s ten years waiting for the proposal? Lol. There’s a reason why the courtship period in most romance novels, past and present, is under a year or so. I’m always surprised at people (not you) who think that Will and Kate have some romance for the ages. I want to ask them “Would you read that romance novel? The one that goes on for ten years in which the heroine doesn’t have any kind of subplot besides the romance?”
And after Meghan her hemlines became longer too.
It wouldn’t be a romance novel but a horror novel about a stalker dedicating her life to getting a man over ten years. They have tried to spin this into something not deranged but it’s pretty weird how the entire William and Kate relationship has played out. It’s absolutely not functional and that’s why William is meeting Meghan in the KP kitchen on his own with Kate and the kids in another part of the country.
This, Nic919. She stalked him starting from the Marlborough/Downe years. If William ever wises up and decides to jettison Kate and her family? He’ll have plenty of leverage to pretend he was a bereaved orphan manipulated by the Middletons.
If you don’t want a career, it is probably a good idea NOT to marry a future king in a monarchy that calls itself “The Firm,” runs itself like a business, utilizes taxpayer money, and expects its senior royals to WORK.
What I find weird is that Kate “never wanted a career”, but she clearly wanted a luxurious lifestyle. So how does a person live such a lifestyle without wanting to work for it? Answer: they dig for gold.
She is the textbook definition of social climber. And yet it has been tossed at Meghan so much more. Meghan did something of value with her life pre Harry. Kate never did.
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with not wanting a career. And Kate, a girl who’s desperately trying to shed her middle-class roots, whose mother worked as an air hostess and still feels the full brunt of this snobbery, who cosplays as an aristo, but badly, was never going to be a career woman. Hitching her wagon to William, and waiting for the ring and the marriage, was her career. But she was never going to work for a living like Meghan.
The problem with Kate was that she didn’t even do the barest minimum for an aristocratic woman, to give the veneer of her having done something with her time, aside from wait for William and party around town to “show him what he’s missing” when they took their break. This made the royal family look bad. It projected an image of them that they didn’t want out there, a really old fashioned image, when they were trying to front the younger generation as modern and different from the older ones. She never seemed to have any other interests she was enthusiastic about, aside from William, which was the main issue. Even SAHM have other things they like to do with their time, right? They don’t spend their time before marriage, just waiting to get married. Kate based her life on this one person, and didn’t seem to have a personality or a life outside of that. That’s concerning.
The other problem was that, once married, she showed a reticence to do what was required of her, as a public figure. You’re in the monarchy, which means you have to put your face out there, in the public. She doesn’t take an active interest in her role, and she’s not getting the appropriate guidance on it from reliable people around her either. She doesn’t have to do much. But it shouldn’t take her 8 years to put out a single survey on an issue she cares about. She can figure out a space for herself without overshadowing William or Charles in the process. She has no interest in this, but she’s in a position which requires it of her. So there’s that.
But the largest problem, for most of us, is the image that she and William project. They act as if they are the epitome of middle-class relatability, when their lives couldn’t be further from the truth. Every royal family uses their image as a family to seem relatable to their people, obviously, but William and Kate are more disingenuous on this subject than most. You can’t act like you’re normal when you’re not normal. The middle-class in Britain don’t have 10 room country piles, with live-in staff, and millions in the bank. And most SAHMs don’t live the sort of life Kate does. There are aspects of their lives as parents and a family that people find relatable, but they shouldn’t act like they’re so down-to-earth and “just like one of us”, when they’re really not. At least if they’re going to pretend, they should try and do a better job of it.
Kate tries to appear as if she’s a relatable, down-to-earth, middle class girl, when she never has been. She’s bad at trying to pretend otherwise, and honestly, we can tell. That’s the issue. I would like her a lot more if she just stayed truthful to herself. Just be honest about who you are. You don’t even have to be likeable, but people will still appreciate the honesty. Just don’t assume that your audience is too stupid to know the reality.
Bravo. This captures it.
Anna,
It’s the disconnect that people are highlighting.
Duchess of Cambridge reality doesn’t match the media narrative being pushed by various UK media e.g. Tatler piece: “She’s working as hard as a top CEO, who has to be wheeled out all….”
The unfortunate part is the courtiers want Kate to be a docile loyal wife and mother who attracts the same global attention that Harry and Meghan do, but her personal and professional experience thwarts selling that fiction.
Sofia, 100% correct. Well said.
I don’t care about either women’s career aspirations or lack there of. What I DO care about is the fact that Kate did nothing to support Meghan. At BEST she was blatantly absent and withholding to a newcomer she COULD have helped as another commoner who joined the family. At WORST she was actively briefing against her through KP courtiers. Neither makes her look good.
See this is where I feel that book has more shade for Kate compared to the senior blood royals. What does Kate career or lack thereof have to do with why they didn’t connect? Doesn’t Kate get on with Zara who does have a busy career? Its fine that they are different people& didn’t mesh they don’t have to be BFFs or enemies & it’s pathetic that media tried to make them either. I remember initially royal experts claimed that Kate was mentoring Meghan& then later when that got boring they were frenemies.
Some of this seems lifted from that Tatler piece or least that the same people (staff) were spoken to. Point about being fiercely loyal to William’s family is odd as isn’t Harry part of William’s family.
I don’t think the women had to get on just because they are married to brothers. I think basic decency and not participating in smears (eg cry-gate- the Tatler and the fallout articles from that were still suggesting Meghan made Kate cry ) is the minimum you could expect. I’m personally way more interested in the dynamic between Meghan and William especially when they initially had joint office.
And from girlfriend days where she seemed to have so much more spark- I don’t think that Kate is shy although maybe uncertain when doing certain duties.
The book´s euphemisms actually help Kate more than harm her IMO. I have been learning quite a lot about some reactions to the little excerpts here, and how people tend to ignore the text and attribute a subtext that has more to do with their own opinions than with what it was actually being said.
To most of us in this site following the story, we would not describe Kate as shy and quiet; we would describe her as distant; some would also add cold, while others, more generous, would use reserved.
Shy and quiet people are completly capable of returning a greeting. Kate, at Westminster, not returning a greeting, is proof to me she is neither shy, nor quiet- she is cold and distant to those she thinks had crossed her or her pure, perfect family.
A shy woman would not glare at women who got near William. Kate’s biographers would write how Kate would rush across the room if she saw a woman coming on to William and this before she even dated William.
I think many here predicted that Kate would not be BFFs with Meghan because they are so different and that’s ok. The problem lies with the passive aggressive behaviour which could have often been written off, but we witnessed it at the commonwealth service and for what? A procession?
The criticism of Kate’s scant CV well predates that Tatler article though. I was just reading an old column from Richard Kay where he goes fully in on criticizing Kate for having more than a little time on her hands, and for working as a catalogue photographer for Party Pieces. He quotes some palace sources as being concerned that she doesn’t appear to be doing much, aside from shopping and partying, and doesn’t have any work to occupy her.
That bit about Kate being loyal to her family–I understood that as her being loyal to her family with William. She is loyal to William, and her children. More accurately, she is fiercely loyal and protective of their reputation, and therefore keeps her circle of friends close and private prevent any damage to that. She doesn’t want anything or anyone to mar the image of them as the ideal family. She knows that her having a picture perfect family is what the monarchy depends on for good press.
Everyone from Queen Victoria down exploited and projected an image of their family as the ideal picture of middle-class domesticity. Kate and the RF read the playbook on that, and they’re doing the same thing. That means hushing up all noise of William’s affairs, and hiding the cracks in the facade which we know for a fact exist, because every family has them. It was only Diana who blew off the lid on that, because she saw its hypocrisy. But now the RF is back to it business as usual. They fully intend for all the stuff with Diana to be an anomaly, an aberration that they’re planning to repair with William and Kate’s marriage and family life. And to do that, Kate needs to keep things on air tight lockdown. She’s loyal to her family ideal, first and foremost, and that’s what’s crucial here. She knows this is her ticket to being Queen, and she’s going to do whatever it takes to get her there.
However, her whole life depends on William and his whims. The Rose situation was not totally hidden so it was “out there.” William could be like his father and want another woman and decide to end the marriage. He has the heir spare, and extra spare. And as DIana found out securing the succession is not a guarantee the marriage will last. Kate would not be able to stop William if he is determined to leave the marriage for another woman.
@Tessa, I think that Kate has a better grasp of William than perhaps most of us do. And while I don’t think her marriage is one between equals, I do think she holds more cards than we imagine she does.
As for William, he seems like someone who primarily values stability and conventionality above anything else. He settled for Kate, in large part because she’s always been there, and it would have been too much work for him to start over with another girlfriend to the point where they could get married. She’s well suited because she does what he wants her to do, and doesn’t ask a great deal from him in return, except to remain married to him. As long as they are both getting what they want out of this marriage, I can’t see either of them choosing to end it, even if they settle for living largely separate lives from each other, which is what seems to be the case right now.
And Charles didn’t end the marriage because he wanted another woman. I think he would have been perfectly content with the set up he had initially, where Diana was his official spouse, and Camilla would be the sidepiece who picks up the emotional mothering he desired.
Diana refused to play. She had entered into the marriage on the expectation that her husband would love her, unconditionally. Or at the very least, he would have a space for her in his life that was hers alone. In this instance, you have a marriage where two people aren’t getting what they want out of it. And that mismatch in expectations is what led to the divorce.
I can’t speak to what sort of circumstance would lead to a similar mismatch in William and Kate’s marriage. It would require William wanting something more from a spouse than someone who lets him cosplay as a loving family. It would also require Kate suddenly deciding that being Queen is not the most important thing to her anymore. It would require either of them being cool with upsetting the apple cart that is their lives in pursuit of a divorce, and they don’t strike me as that sort. They strike me as the sort of people who are just content to go with the flow until the situation is untenable for whatever reason, and that’s how they’re approaching their marriage too.
William has shown his frustration with Kate for years. He may have initially picked her because she’d be so bad as a royal, because he wanted to stick it to his family. Now he sees more-and-more how she is an hindrance to him. If he decides he wants out, he’ll get out.
@nota, how is Kate being bad at royalling a hindrance to William? Perhaps the really interested royal watchers might see it that way, but the general public doesn’t really care that much. They see a picture of a beautiful family that’s happy on the surface, with parents who seemingly care about them and each other.
The press is not reporting the tensions in W&K’s marriage in great depth to the point where it would impact them negatively. And my impression has been that no one really cares much about Kate to examine her work in great detail. The press snarks every once in a while about her lack of engagements, but again, how much attention does the lay person give to that?
Kate will only become a hindrance to William if she poses a threat to him inheriting the crown, which she won’t. That is the biggest, most important sticking point for anyone involved. Diana was a bigger threat because she blew the cover off the monarchy, and raised actual doubts about the continuation of the institution, and Charles’ own place in it.
Would Kate ever do that? We know for a fact she wouldn’t. The palace knows for certain that she wouldn’t. They don’t care about how many engagements she does, how bad her speeches are, or any of the rest of it. They know that she is the biggest factor in keeping William in his place, in the succession, and that as long as she is there, he will never relinquish his position. They approved of his marriage because she could be counted upon for this reason. She will do whatever it takes to preserve this institution, because she wants to be Queen consort. And that’s what the people running this institution want, more than anything.
In light of that, it’s extremely doubtful if William would ever put himself in a position that causes anyone to question his own accession to the throne. Kate is not a hindrance to him. As long as she’s there, she’s his biggest asset to his image. Without his wife and children, we’re left with a petty, vindictive, tyrannical middle-aged man who probably votes Tory and sneers at poor people in his spare time, who is now on the block for having cheated on his wife and turned his back on the beautiful family they have together for his mistress. That would be a far bigger hindrance to William than anything else. People would shut down the monarchy after that, no matter how wonderful his new wife happened to be.
I agree with everything A posted above.
William can’t afford to lose Kate. She maintains his image.
A bald, divorced 40-50 year old man on the throne alone is not cute.
I’m about 2/3 of the way through FF and I thought it was really interesting that Kate wasn’t at that first meeting Harry and Meghan had with William. She obviously wasn’t interested in connecting with Meghan. The book says she was in Amner with the kids at the time – further proof of Will and Kate leading pretty separate lives!
Meghan is obviously a really driven type A personality who wants to succeed and excel at anything she does. She was excited by the job side of becoming a royal and threw herself in to it whole heartedly and with lots of research. I think she looked to Diana as a model – her mistake there was that this is the perfect way to win over the public and the world, to see a modern compassionate hard-working woman; but that is NOT what the establishment wants at all! They hated Diana and I think Meghan terrified them. She came in to The Firm wanting to prove herself through hard work and merit – which is completely antithetical to the concept of monarchy and aristocracy! You don’t succeed in their world by being the best, you succeed by shutting up and pretending you don’t actually want all that privilege meanwhile milking it for all it’s worth.
I disagree. IT did not matter how Meghan had worked or acted, there were people against her from the time she was first seen with Harry. Some media comments and blog comments dismissed her some even saying they had stopped seeing each other. Princess Anne, a born in royal, does work hard and never got this sort of flak. I think Meghan no matter what she did would not be liked by some for no reason at all just for the sake of disliking.
Oh yeah there are always haters and the racism was REAL but Willileaks and the palaces really turned against her after their successful tour when she was getting great coverage and the public was excited about the pregnancy etc. The Cambs got jealous and really turned against her.
That is true. Anne and Camilla have higher numbers than Kate and Meghan. Sophie can give a better speech than Kate. But the awful RR and courtiers lay off these 3 ladies and Anne’s antics/alleged flings were pretty much not covered by the RR when she was a younger royal. These bizarre people are obsessed with Meghan because of money and or racism.
But the thing is, I can’t even say Meghan is a Type A. She is an average actress, with a good education. She has excellent media training and presence as her strength. A lot of women do the same preparation and training for their career because they want to be prepared and professional at work.
As an average person, I actually found Meghan relatable because she is working like any hard-working woman in the real corporate world. Yes she had domestic help like all royals did but I relate to her work ethic and I understood the professional standard expected from her staff. Most of us also look at the other royals and think their work is not like the work that we do. They don’t do 9 to 5. Meghan has worked 9 to 5 and when she became an actress she worked long hours.
I don’t think Kate is loyal to her in laws, I think she likes her royal set up and isn’t going to bite the hand that feeds her (even when they deserve it.) she’s loyal to the firm, the crown, and all that comes with it for her and her children.
As for not wanting a career…. I mean duh. I’ve never seen someone try so hard to give the appearance of working without actually doing any real work. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be a wife and mother, but what about the years before that? She literally did nothing. Her view is narrow for a reason.
She was on call for William and she and probably her family (who supported her because she did not have work where she could support herself did not want her to miss those calls from William because she had work deadlines.
“I don’t think Kate is loyal to her in laws, I think she likes her royal set up and isn’t going to bite the hand that feeds her (even when they deserve it.) she’s loyal to the firm, the crown, and all that comes with it for her and her children.”
Oh 100%. That Tatler article said it best: she’s in it for the long haul. She’s not going to risk pissing of William/the establishment because if they decide she’s out – then she’s out. Which is not what she wants.
It is so weird how they emphasized that Kate was super loyal to William and his family and that’s the reason why she had no interest in Harry and Meghan’s relationship. Because Harry IS a huge member of Will’s family and Meghan became one as well. I’m thinking “Kate was loyal to Will’s family” is code for “Kate was loyal to Will’s firm,” and Harry was hardly even considered as a member of the Firm. He was an underling, a non entity to her. Sure, he’s Will’s only sibling, but he can’t do anything to significantly advance/affect Will and Kate’s funding or power position in the Royal Family. He may as well have been another member of staff.
Also, did anyone else notice how they’re using the past tense, here. Kate WAS loyal to Will and his family. Is she no longer? Has something changed? Is she now more loyal to herself and her aspirations? Why use the past tense?
I don’t think kate is ‘loyal’ to anyone. She will do what she has to do in ensure her own survival. I always say she has a ‘kill or be killed’ attitude and Meghan was a threat to her, so she did whatever she had to do. Also how many times has kate thrown other royals under the bus before. All those stories about how Charles is a crap grandparent compared to her parents. The queen never being there for her children growing up, so kate show be a SAHM, the York princesses looking like Cinderella’s two ugly sisters compared to ‘perfect’ kate, and Harry ‘dating’ pippa (lolz). Even the Tatler article said William is publically crap when he’s by himself and needs ‘perfect’ kate by his side. That girl ain’t loyal to no one. I’m sure she plays dumb whenever anyone asks where these stories come from.
February-Pisces, I think Kate is loyal to herself and her ambition to be Queen Consort. Aided by her stagemother all the way.
Bingo
This is it. She’s loyal to the Firm, because the Firm is how she’s going to be Queen, which is what she wants most of all. Her ambitions are channeled towards that, and everything she does is in service of that.
In laws can be a tricky situation for anyone, royal or not. I don’t really like the narrative that just because you marry someone’s sibling, you need to be friends or even friendly. I think sometimes an attempt at politeness is as good as two people who have nothing in common and are different stages of their life can do. I don’t think Kate was especially welcoming, but I also doubt she was terrible, especially at the beginning, to Meghan.
Maybe I just have a different perspective, because in my husband’s family, I’m the work shy one. They cannot fathom that I cut my schedule down to 20 hours a week after my son was born. My sister in law, whom I have nothing in common with, frequently makes little comments asking what it is that I do all day or wondering aloud if I’ve spent my days at Saks. So I avoid her, because she’s judgmental and also because I don’t need to be friendly to her just because I married her brother.
Would you agree that a shy and quiet person with a shy and quiet good heard and manners would be able to return a greeting? I know I lot of shy and quiet people who would answer me with a very low ” hello” or just nod their heads- we did not see that in Kate at Westminster.
So yes, you do not have to become friends with your in laws, but you must at least make an effort at being cordial.
You know your in-laws enough to give them a greeting, shy and quiet have nothing to do with this. Especially Harry with whom Kate used to make all googly eyes at. It was just bad manners to snub them at the CWS, plain and simple, which really showed her immaturity and the depth of her poor character.
Yes but Kate participated in a smear campaign against Meghan. All she had to do was NOT be such an ahole, and she couldn’t even manage that.
I have six sisters-in-law. I get along with all of them, and a few I’m close to. The eldest is very standoffish, but we can still make civil conversation, because that’s what you do. My closest sil died in March (RIP) and I’ve recently lost one to the dark side. She has become a full-on Trump supporter and QAnon fan at 74yo. It’s staggering to see the difference in her over the course of a year. Militantly religious, attacking all family members over the status of their faith, and constantly on Facebook defending the monster from all and sundry. I think she’s suffered a head injury, I really do. My relatives laugh at me, but I can tell they think something’s wrong too. It’s scary how bully like and now threatening she’s becoming. After reading a couple of her scary religious posts towards my son, (who hates trump) I’m now resolved to stand between them at any future family gatherings.
It could be mini strokes.
Flamingo, I’d say that cutting your hours to part time after your son’s birth does NOT constitute being “work-shy.” Unless you have a full-time nanny and housekeeper, I’m sure you’re doing plenty of unpaid work raising your son and dealing with your house. Anyone throwing shade on you for your choices is right out of line, IMO.
I have two now young-adult children, and chose to work part time for several years–and I’m glad I did. Anyone who thinks that raising a child/children isn’t worthwhile “work” doesn’t know what they’re talking about.
Re: Kate and the beginning – I think Kate is the type of woman who if William told her that it was no need for her to meet “Harry’s American bird” in the run-up to H/M’s marriage and that’d he’d go by himself to meet Meghan that Kate wouldn’t challenge it and/or insist to be included.
I agree – I think Kate not meeting her that first time with William points more to the fact that none of them thought he would actually marry her. To them, she wasn’t real Royal material and it wouldn’t be a long term relationship.
But they’re not just family, they were also supposed to be co-workers. Be as cold as you want with your SIL that you will only see twice a year at large family gatherings. But if you’re part of a public-facing family business, anything less that giving your all for at least a cordial, if distant, relationship is foolish. Kate was foolish to take this path. It’s going to bite her in the butt. She’s the most “expendable” of the high profile royals left. She is the natural target now.
@tcbc This, exactly what you’ve said. Kate and Meghan were not just SILs, they were co-workers.
@Flamingo, the thing is, you’re not royal. I hate to be blunt, but that’s the issue at hand here. You’re not of the royal family. Therefore, you don’t have anywhere close to the same problems as they do. Your livelihood does not depend on your public presence and image. You can cut back to working 20 hrs a week, because you don’t have to do that work to justify why you deserve to be paid millions in tax dollars each year. You are not working in a public facing monarchy, where there are millions of eyes on you, and how you navigate your family politics affects whether you’ll have a job in the next twenty years.
No one is begrudging Kate her family life. No one. She can choose to do what she pleases. But she chose a job that has certain requirements of her. One of those is being a public servant, in the public eye, as a public figure. Being in the royal family is something that goes beyond a title. It is not work like how the rest of us think of it. It involves nurturing your public image. It means putting on a public face of camaraderie and togetherness with people you might not otherwise get along with. When your whole job security relies on how much the public likes you, then things like these matter a lot, and you can’t pretend or act like they don’t. Sometimes, that’ll involve smiling politely and making small talk with people you aren’t friends with.
Kate didn’t need to be best buds with Meghan, and I don’t think Meghan was expecting that. But some of Kate’s behaviour went well beyond just not having much in common. You don’t need to have a great deal in common with someone to be a nice person.
Kate would have been better served if the Palace had just let her be a stay at home mum who only shows up for royal events, visits and tours. I always get the impression that whatever work she does, it’s just because she’s expected to work. Her ten years before the marriage was an indication of that and the Palace should have realised that early on.
That would not be right. Because she signed up to work as a senior royal. Even Princess Alexandra who had health issues, went out and worked and later became a well loved Queen Consort with her charity work, Kate should not have been an exception to the rule. She is expected to work. why should she be treated differently?
That is the current situation: married ins are meant to also work for the firm, but I wonder if that necessarily should be the automatic rule for everyone. There don’t seem to be any other jobs where we demand that the woman must do the same work as her husband. First Lady sort of, but people seem to be asking questions about whether or not that’s misogynistic to just expect a First Lady to quit her job and start working as some kind of professional hostess/mother to the nation. Some people might want to do that job, but others might want to keep their old job, and others might want to not be a working public figure and just focus on their family.
I feel like if William actually did his fair share of engagements, then I wouldn’t be mad that Kate kept such low numbers or even if she wanted to be a stay at home lady who lunches who just shows up for weddings and christenings. I’m currently mad that she works so little and the work that she does do is so toothless. She doesn’t want to do the fluffy ribbon cutting things, she says she wants to be more involved with bigger project type stuff, but her projects are pathetic and don’t do anything. And I’m mad that she gets a new $1,5000 dress (plus $300 blow out, plus thousands in Botox and manicures and tanning and waxing and hair color, plus thousands for security and chauffeurs and helicopter rides to and from events) each time she Zooms or hyena grins at children in public. The money expended per value received for her engagements seems super off.
Kate saw the photos of Meghan and knew she didn’t measure up.
I’m interested in the Meghan William relationship too. It appears that once Meghan showed she wasn’t a pushover, William took his mask off and revealed his true self. I see him pulling a Joffrey Baratheon “I am the King!” when it became clear Meghan wasn’t going to roll over and say “Yes William. You’re right.”
I really have to say this book make QEII and Charles look horrible. Neither is steering the HMS Windsor. Which leaves the question who’s running things over there?
In which photos did she not measure up?
in the RF summit, it was clear she didn’t measure up to Meghan; let’s be honest here……….. I have said here multiple times that K should have been left alone to raise her kids; M is clearly one who likes work; Nothing is wrong with both options but the arrival of M, has had people trying to push K to compete with her when clearly she couldn’t.
K is mediocre, that’s a fact; it is her past actions that resulted in whom she is today! The woman can barely answer questions clearly prepared for her; even the soft ball ones!
My question is really for W: having seen his mom, he chose her? or was he certain that she would never overshadow him like his mom did his dad?
2nd question is for H: knowing where he is from, he chose a woman of such drive and will?
Of the 2. it looks like W made the right choice for the institution because his wife just shuts up; Meghan has the skillset to overperform (that job is not that hard!) and the projects to prove that she could have been great but she was the wrong color and her appeal created jealousy/envy/regret! she clearly showed how incompetent K has been
I don’t think William has the same feelings of overshadowing as Charles did. He seems more annoyed at having to go out on appearances, pursing his lips and looking bored, that seems to cause the resentment. I think William settled for Kate, he wanted to date others and they did not want him.
@VS I think William wanted someone different then his mom to be honest. I think with him being the oldest, there’s a side of his mom that he saw that he probably didn’t want in a mate. I think he wanted to settle down with someone who was going to give him the least amount of drama and who was going to give him a family life that he didn’t get growing up.
As for Harry, I think it’s the opposite, I don’t think he got to experience all of the full blown drama between Diana and Charles, he was more shielded so he probably wanted someone more like his mother. He remembers her for being loving and for her drive and good work and her connection to the people.
Diana started out as a Kate in some ways, rich girl who had a job but it wasn’t a career, met and married a prince. Once she became a princess she realized that this life is boring and I want to get out there and connect and help the people and work on my own projects and interests and she turned into a Meghan. What William has with Kate is Diana if she had settled into her role with no complaints and had just gone with the flow, and what Harry has with Meghan is Diana when she realized her power and reach and her ability to give back.
There is no comparison re: Diana and Kate. Diana was only 19 when she got engaged to Charles and even though she could have lived on her trust fund, she decided to work for a living. Kate was 28 when she got engaged to William and was turning 29 the following January. SHe got the University education and had years to get interested in some sort of work and interest other than waiting for William. Diana did not have to be pushed to work.She wanted to. Kate waited months to work after the Queen asked what she did. Diana was more proactive than Kate.
When Diana got involved with Charles she was a teenager who didn’t know her own mind, although she knew enough to want to be on her own and hold a couple of part time jobs. Kate was a college educated woman who basically chose to use her time and energy to pursue a man. A terrible cheating douche of a man to boot. As for what William wanted, looks like he wanted someone he could control. I think he uses the Middletons and Kate’s desperate greediness against them to control them. I think that is how he rolls, remember the article about him using Meghan’s father against her? Again, another greedy grasping person who is easily manipulated and controlled. I think he tried to control Meghan the same way, hence the jewelry denial story but it didn’t work and of course Harry stood in the way.
When you’ve spent most of your life seeing other women as competition for the prize, you’re not going to help/reach out/befriend unless you see something in it for yourself. Kate wasn’t with William at the meetings, probably because she stays with the kids and he stays elsewhere. William didn’t take Harry’s relationship with Meghan seriously, so neither did Kate.
The focus on Kate in this book is very strange to me. I mean they are mad she wasn’t too friendly? Ok it wasn’t her job to prepare Meghan for royal life. That was on Harry.
Kate did not have to prepare Meghan. And she could have given bad advice (deliberately at times), IMO.
It wasn’t her job but a little kindness to one of the few women who truly knows what life is like for her wasn’t exactly asking for much, now was it?
No one is implying Kate was expected to prepare Meghan for anything. I think what was expected was the basic decency SHE was shown by Harry when William finally settled and married her. I don’t think that was too much to ask either.
It’s basic decency, plus she had sources telling the press that she was helping Meghan. Now we have confirmation that those stories were lies.
Being a royal is a job right so I don’t think Kate would have been much good at helping Meghan – more like the opposite way round.
Even in workplaces some women begrudge having to help new women employees simply because men opt out and women are seen as more appropriate mentors (and considered more caring, nurturing, etc.) I have experienced this, it can be rewarding but tiring having to do mentoring so maybe Kate just opted out.
Meghan was more than prepared to do the royal work and she excelled at it which put Kate to shame. And Kate clearly had issues with that and froze her out. Her bitchface at the commonwealth service showed the world the petty jealous person that she truly is.
A very telling situation for me, even before the CW service, was the polo match a few months after Archie’s birth. A casual, not work situation, and one area where they not only had something in common, but Kate had the superior knowledge and experience as a mother of three. A simple situation for pleasant, casual interaction as they were quite near each other. And yet, no discernible overtures from Kate.
Plus, Archie is George, Charlotte and Louis’ first cousin. Someone said Louis (about 15 months old) seemed interested in Archie, but I don’t recall seeing or reading that George and Charlotte were interested in either Archie, or Meghan, who was their aunt. Seemed at the time like a sad commentary on the dynamics of that family.
@windyriver – yes, I remember looking at the photos of the polo event and wondering what was going on. The atmosphere was downright chilly and Kate barely seemed to acknowledge Meghan’s presence.
And @Alexandria (downthread) I agree – if there was true support (which there wasn’t) it would’ve been so easy for Kate to wear some of the capsule collection clothes. It would’ve been so easy to do and would’ve sent a valuable message to the public AND to the press. But of course, *crickets*
Louis does go near Archie at one point but Kate stays further away. There is a photo and I think he may be wearing upside sunglasses when he is near Archie.
The polo match sticks out for sure. For the kids too. Not showing an interest in Meghan and Archie there is such unnatural behavior for children of George and Charlotte’s ages too. Which is disturbing because it suggests they were instructed to behave that way, to avoid her possibly.
Most kids that age are extremely curious if you tell them- “that’s your new aunt and baby cousin” they’ll march right over and start investigating to see what they’re like. There’s a natural curiosity and excitement at learning about new people in children. (Especially as the already knew her from the wedding a bit.)
To see them just treat her invisibly almost was not a normal natural interaction.
It’s just terribly sad they seem to have taken things so far as to involve the kids. I think that’s why Meghan looked somewhat taken back in those photos.
That polo match is what really convinced me something was not right about Kate. If my new mom sister-in-law arrives with her baby, I am immediately getting up to greet her and see if she wants help, etc. Even if I don’t like her or we are in the middle of some family squabble, I am still getting my butt up to go and greet her and make sure she and the baby are good. But Kate just sat there. After that, the Commonwealth Service behavior makes perfect sense.
Even the Queen did not assign Kate as Meghan’s mentor. It costs nothing to show quiet support to your in law by wearing her smart capsule collection or being seen at lunch together. And ok if she doesn’t have to show quiet support, then it costs nothing to smile to your in law at a televised event which was the last formal event for them.
If you read the book, you’ll see she is not the focus. There are paragraphs of interactions or relationship info, but she’s really not a big part.
It wasn’t on Harry either. This is what they pay their staff for. Why have servants and aides if they won’t do their actual jobs that they get paid to do?
I am only half way through the book but I adore Harry in this. He is very head strong and knows what he wants. He doesn’t want to be treated like a child (and the RF and courtiers want to treat him as that) He loves Meghan deeply and is incredibly protective of her.
Kate is not a shy and quiet person. She walked down the runway in a sheer dress to get William’s attention. I find her cold and calculating. You don’t have to be BFF’s with your in laws but she just didn’t seem to care one bit about getting to know Meghan and she is apparently close to Harry. With my SIL I made sure that I made an effort. We are not BFF’s but we get along. We don’t have much in common either.
Haven’t read it yet, but I can’t wait. You’re right about Kate, though. Out of all the revisionist propaganda we get about Kate, the one that annoys me most is how quiet and shy she is. As if we haven’t been watching. We’ve seen it all- the flashing, the flirting, the drunken nightclub escapades, the next to naked parade for attention. We’ve heard how she ruthlessly cut out any woman who got near William, including his cousins, and we saw her do it to her sister-in-law right in front of us. Quiet and shy people don’t roll their eyes at charity workers on visits. It’s rubbish. And even if she was, it still doesn’t excuse her from doing the job that comes with the goodies.
I think she’s reserved when it comes to situation where she’s not in full control, or is out of her depth, or is just not motivated to give her all. See also: public speaking engagements, meeting and talking to new people, etc. She is not shy and quiet when it came to becoming William’s wife. She is not shy and quiet when it comes to pursuing her ambitions. Every single portrait of Kate we read about in the press, and elsewhere, makes the point that she’s incredibly ruthless, and dogged, when it comes to going after something she really wants. She didn’t want to be friendly or inviting towards Meghan, and she behaved accordingly.
Where’s my shocked face?
Old girl didn’t even want to do royal work, we can all see that.
William likes his women dull, insecure, and malleable. Harry is drawn to women who, like his mother, are intelligent, driven and confident. William married the opposite of his mother and the Royal Family and the British media like her. Harry married someone like his mother and because of that the RF and the BM hate his wife’s guts.
william was interested in Jecca who is way more interesting than Kate. He also wanted to date Isabella Calthorpe who turned him down. He settled for Kate. And Carole was always in there pitching with talk like: Kate is so devoted to you and she has been with you for so many years,,,, etc etc.
I have to say Rose Hanbury seems very interesting as well. If you look at her Instagram and photos of the tours or various spreads press have shot at Houghton Hall with her. Plus all the posh people seem to love her and rave about her events, she seems very colorful.
I think from willies perspective he can never be with a woman like his mother. If he did he would basically be the new Charles and his wife the new Diana. Therefore he will still look dull and dreary next to someone who is glamorous, just like Charles did next to Diana.
William might be drawn to them but they likely won’t want to remain married to him and he would probably resent them as wives in time.
What caught my eye in the book is the part about how William actively pushed for H&M to have funding to set up their own staff and office because the Cambridges realized that it would mean more work for them if H&M had to step back…lol
@CB…please do an open post so that those of us who’ve read the book can discuss it.🙏🏼
This is where so much of this saga doesn’t make sense. If worried about more work for the Cambridges why turn down the option for Sussexes to continue doing duties just because you might have to set up a committee to check on their commercial work?
Wouldn’t they have a body like this to check who Firm can issue royal warrants to or what companies can sponsor royal events like fundraising dinners? Plus the Kents used to do royal duties whilst Prince Michael ran a consultancy firm so who oversaw conflicts there?
And why would advice to slow down which wasn’t heeded cause such a blow up but then William is the one to apparently distance himself from Harry?
I think if Harry and Meghan were “half-in” it would raise their profile even more which is the last thing the Keen-Nots want. This way they can keep painting the Sussexes as the scofflaws who deserted family and country in their time of need. It’s all very calculated.
We are definitely not getting the whole story and I SO WANT the whole story. I wonder when/if we will get it.
I think the description that Kate and Meghan, albeit close in age, were meeting each other at different stages of their life, is pretty apt.
I also take it that Kate not wanting to be included at that first meeting might be an indicator that Harry’s family did not think he was going to get serious about Meghan, and certainly not so quickly. This the admonition to slow down.
Even if we say that kate’s his sister-in-law, not sister, and not that close to Harry, Kate’s not stupid – wouldn’t you want to meet the person you are likely to be stuck doing ribbon cuttings with for the rest of your lives? I know I would stick the kids with their full time nanny and take my helicopter/driver to check out this new girlfriend out post haste.
I understand Kate did not spend time if any with Cressida Bonas, most likely because she was 1/2 sister to ISabella Calthorpe a woman William was interested in.
The photo used for the header! Which crypt did they exhume her from?
Poor exhausted widdle Middy, having to keep up the facade that she’s shy and quiet.
@Florence She got the face that she deserved.
What is with some commenters’ insistence that Kate was was under pressure to be friends or friendly with Meghan??? No one is saying that. The reality is that a civilized, mature, and well-rounded person is expected to show SOME modicum of politeness and manners to someone who is joining the family and who they haven’t met/barely know. When you can’t even do that, it says a lot about your character, none of it good. I think it’s upsetting some people that smiley, ‘happy’ Kate is apparently as grand, rude, and bitchy as all those stories over the years (before AND after marriage) implied. Though you should’ve already come to that conclusion looking at her grotesque display on CW Day.
It costs nothing to be kind. That’s all Harry wanted for Meghan, but Kate couldn’t even do that little. But I chalk that up to her competitiveness. She’s not going to be outshined by anyone, especially not a biracial actress. So she dismissed her in the beginning because she didn’t think the relationship would go the distance and ghosted Meghan when she realized she couldn’t compete with Meghan’s drive and work ethic.
I agree. I don’t think Harry thought they would be BFF’s but they are two women who are commoners that married into the RF. He probably thought they would connect on that and support each other. But that didn’t happen. It seemed like Meghan wanted that to happen as well.
Exactly this. For months people said that Kate and Meghan didn’t need to be BFFs because they have little in common. But Kate could not even bother with basic courtesy and by the time the Commonwealth Service happened she was acting like an outright bitch. That’s not normal. Plenty of people here have sisters in law and aren’t best friends with them. And most of us still manage to be cordial to them. It’s not hard except if you are a massively insecure person like Kate.
That Tatler article sums up why Kate didn’t want to be around Meghan. If you are an outsider who is desperate to be seen as one of the gang the way Kate is, the last thing you will do is hang around another “outsider”. It reinforces your “otherness”. Throw in some jealousy that Meghan stole Harry her make believe “boo” and she has charisma and beauty on top of it? Well we just can’t have that at all. Plus, Ma and Pip were in her ear too, about the nerve of “ that girl”.
Yep!! They are so transparent it would be hard to fool anybody. Well, practically anybody.
According to FF, Harry was disappointed that Kate and Will basically dropped him when he got with Meghan. When he and Megs were living in Oxfordshire that summer they entertained a lot but Wills & Kate never came, despite being invited. Harry thought that, once he found a spouse, their families would be a tight group, but it was the opposite. I wonder if Will and Kate were living separately then because of the rose bush incident? I could see Kate ghosting Wills and Harry and Megs as revenge. Meghan has a reputation of being so thoughtful, sending cards and gifts… she brought Kate a birthday gift when they met the day after Kate’s birthday. Kate definitely comes off as uncharitable to a newcomer. Meghan excused her behavior at first, but after she was a married-in royal, she thought there was no excuse for Kate’s continued cold-shoulder.
I read that and was so disappointed by Will and Kate. Harry and Kate don’t seem to have much in common at all and he was so friendly and welcoming to her. One thing that was repeated in the book was that Harry has a heart of gold. He is super friendly and wants to help everyone. The fact that Will and Kate just can’t even be bothered to show support or friendliness just irks me.
That part was so disappointing to read. They also stopped inviting him over to play visit and play with his niece and nephews. Sad.
Ya if that is true, Will and Kate disappointed Harry.
My youngest brother and I are very close. No matter who he dated, I always supported the woman and did whatever I could to make her comfortable in our family. I went out of my way to befriend the woman, even if I didn’t really like her. This is what you do to support your sibling who you supposedly love.
Same. I’m not best friends with my brother in laws wife (we don’t have anything in common and I find her pretentious), but when they visit I am welcoming. I show her around the area and I’m an open ear if she wants to bitch about the family we both married into. It’s just basic manners.
Exactly-I did the same for my brother & cousin and got great in-laws out of the deal. The fact that is wasn’t done speaks volumes about their character & motives.
exactly! I am not close with my sisters-in law (we are very different people) but when we see each other we are friendly and respectful. They were very welcoming to me when I joined the family, even though we have so little in common, and I really appreciated it.
Same. My mom and her SIL aren’t exactly the closest people. But my mom would never snub her outright. She would make an effort to be friendly and polite. My grandma had a bunch of siblings, and a slew of in-laws. She always made an effort, with all of them. Even the horribly behaved ones. It’s what you do when you live in a polite society.
I’m no Kate apologist, but GF went into that marriage knowing that she had 1 job. Provide an heir & a spare. Periodt! Why would she want a career? Her ‘job’ is broodmare and SAHM to the future Monarch (IF there is still a Monarchy) That’s it. That’s the post 🤷🏼♀️
I don’t think even the royals believe that’s all there is. The queen questioned Kate’s total lack of anything, numerous times. The blood princesses work, as did Diana.
Diana did not work for a living, and neither do Beatrice, or Eugenie. Aristocrats do not “work a trade,” so to speak. Diana was a kindergarten assistant, a nanny, and picked up odd jobs cleaning and organizing for her friends. And she made it perfectly clear that she didn’t need to actually do any of those jobs for the money. Her mother paid for her apartment and living expenses.
Beatrice also doesn’t have an established career. Eugenie works at Paddle8, but it’s not a job she needs for the salary it provides. All of these people have the money to live on comfortably for their whole lives. Their careers are just their side hustles. There’s a reason why so many of these people with fat trust funds have all of these failed start ups and lifestyle brands under their belt.
She has more than one job-that’s the problem. People are moving the goal posts because she’s so mediocre. She’s going to be Consort to the King (or whatever it is) and that’s a big fucking job, which is going to become a problem as time goes on because Kate is not bright and has no vision.
Producing heirs is not the only thing expected of the wife of a senior royal. Kate also has lots of help with those children, she has staff to do the cooking and cleaning, and secretaries and so on. THe Queen Mother was not just a producer of heirs, she worked. Queen Mary and Queen Alexandra worked for the firm on charities. Alexandra was deaf and sick from a major illness but worked steadily. Camilla is the second wife, she was too old to have heirs, so it was not as if she did not have to work She did, and she’s in her seventies, but Kate can’t work?!
That would have been acceptable in the 18th century but we’re in the 21st century – where royals are expected to do some charity work in order to “justify” the millions they get paid.
No one’s asking her to do 500 engagements a year but she can easily manage 200 when not on maternity leave or during a pandemic. And if she doesn’t want to work then, quite frankly, she knows where the exit is.
I’m no Diana stan*, but didn’t she do more than pop out kids and stay at home? And if the most famous example of the position you aspire to was celebrated for her charity work, wouldn’t you expect that you, too, would have to work? Especially if that woman was your husband’s mother?
*honestly, the beer goggles some people have for her is confusing, but I was a baby during her prime, and maybe you had to be there to get it.
@Hannah, That was the case back in the century when the consort’s job was to produce male heirs, hang out with her ladies in waiting, and do the odd official appearance and be a political pawn. The flip side of that was there were official Royal mistresses who was the kings companion, lavishly supported, and had a direct hand in palace politics and court life. That is no longer condoned so Kate is expected to step up beyond being a womb. This isn’t the Handmaids Tale, although I sometimes wonder based on how backwards the attitude is over there towards women and outsiders. Everyone always says that Meghan knew what she was getting into. On the other hand, the palace knew what they were getting with Meghan. They went over her life with a fine tooth comb so why be so surprised and resentful they were getting a hardworking, outspoken woman who had built her life, had her own charitable interests, had a career, and wanted to channel that into her royal role.
@Hannah, yeah, but the monarchy lives and dies by public approval. Do the public approve of such archaic and outdated gender roles for the men and women in the royal family? Is this something that will endear them to the next generation going forward?
The purpose of having babies is to ensure the longevity and continuance of the royal family into the future. But to have a future, you have to justify your existence to the public, who are footing your bills. They have to play the role the public expects of them. And is this what the public wants to fund? The lifestyle of a glorified broodmare with bad taste in buttons and coat dresses?
The public approves because William and Kate are very popular.
Kate is shy and quiet . These shy and quiet term used for most introverts. Kate is not. As an introvert myself I can say last thing I want to do in being club, or walking in pageant that too half naked or participating in sports. The last thing the introvert want to bring attention to themselves. I know there are different types but Kate is not shy when it comes to club, being half naked or in sports. If you are telling those about princess beatrice I can agree but Kate is not.
She most certainly came out of her shell when she was around Ben Ainsley, she had no problem making an effort to talk to him. And every year she makes her BAFTA’s entrance she sure seems to bask in that attention. And every trooping the colour, she always pushed herself to the front, whilst Meghan hangs in the back.
We wouldn’t know how Kate is like personally. This is just what the book claims. She could really be an introvert outside of her engagements. Only problem is she still doesn’t look at ease or comfortable in her working royal role during engagements, unlike the others. And she’s a senior royal so that…doesn’t look good. And I’ll drag William, he looks disinterested at his engagements and cracks inappropriate jokes, maybe that’s an even worse sin for some UK taxpayers paying for FFK.
She looks at ease and very comfortable when there are celebrities around. She looks quite happy and at ease at Wimbledon every year. I do not think she is introverted or shy. She just has no interest in the “mundane” royal engagements and it shows.
Kate has never appeared to be comfortable in her role to me at all. She is not at ease with adults, but more so with children.
That’s fair Sid. I should have said “most engagements”.
Extroverted introverts do exist (some of them are actors), but she is not one of them. I think if she were a true introvert, we would have heard by now of some solitary hobby or interest, like reading, knitting, etc. She’s never been described as a movie buff, or someone that takes long walks, or a rock climber, or horsewoman, for example. I don’t think there have been reports of her visiting the incredible art galleries of London alone, or getting private tours after closing, despite her art history degree. I really wonder what she does with her time. If it came out that she was learning a language or doing extensive guided study on climate change or something, she would make more sense to me. As it stands now, she’s kind of a cipher.
I think a cipher is right. No one knows who she is, because she has been wearing a variety of different masks for two decades. I think the masks come from being deeply uncomfortable in her own skin for a variety of reasons.
1) she is basically known for her outward appearance (because she hides her inner self) and yet she is not what I would call a natural beauty—I think a lot of work and artifice goes into making her look as she does. And this obsession with her looks might lead to all sorts of mental illness or conditions like eating disorders.
2) She is a fish out of water. She’s not a commoner anymore, even when she’s hanging out with the commoners during her events and talking to her staff which is made up of commoners. To them, she is a Royal, so she doesn’t fit in with anyone when she’s at work. But she’s also not a “blood royal,” and even though her husband is, he’s a couple of generations away from the crown and all the money and power. So she doesn’t fit in with her new family. And she’s also not an aristocrat, so she doesn’t fit in with her chosen social circle. She doesn’t fit anywhere anymore but she has to keep trying.
3) Shes just not good at her work and she doesn’t have any passions because she was raised to be obsessed with her looks and her social status and her boyfriend. She is intellectually incurious and her mind must be empty a lot of the time.
4) no one in her life loves or even respects her for just who she is, it’s all about what she can do for them, and they would all be very upset with her if she messed up and could no longer provide the things they want from her. Her husband, her mother, her “friends,” her staff and courtiers.
I think she’s deeply insecure and uncomfortable. Her life for the past 20 years has basically been playacting as various versions of herself depending on what scene she’s acting out: wife Kate at home, wife Kate in public, mom Kate at home, mom Kate in public, Princess among the royal family, Princess among staff, Princess among the adoring public, etc, etc, etc. She probably doesn’t actually have a real, consistent, personality anymore. Which is why she seems like such an enigma, and people just guess and project various, often contradicting personality traits onto her in an attempt to understand why she does the things she does.
Not wanting a career is completely fine but girl you married a future king, you WILL work. She would’ve been so much better off marrying some lowkey and incredibly rich aristo.
Kate and Meghan being in 2 different places in life I agree with but I don’t take it as a reason to not be cordial to Meghan or make an effort. No one is saying they had to be BFFs but to be cold to her immediately makes no sense to me. And it’s sucks that they stopped inviting Harry over after he started dating Meghan. They hadn’t had a fallout then so what was the reason to start icing him out????
I think the problem is Carole and or Kate thought marrying William was the end game. The journey was longer than the destination. Even before Meghan, Kate and William did get some mocking about their work shyness. But they got a lot more goodwill and sympathy than HM. Also Kate was allowed to prioritise her pregnancy and her kids, and the Palace even stepped in to chastise the wiglet claims and (rightfully) block her sunbathing pictures.
As a spouse of a future king she should have always kept her titties covered. I don’t care that they used a really long lens to get the photo just keep you ass and tits covered.
Wait Fluffy, wasn’t she sunbathing at a private area? I don’t think the press has rights to a private area.
To be accurate she wasn’t sunbathing but giving billy a bj.
I was stunned that William met Meghan on his own months before Kate because he was in London and she was in Norfolk with the kids. I did wonder whether they were living separately or what the deal was. It just seemed odd to me. It was always portrayed that William and Kate had a couple to couple sit down with Meghan and Harry. Weirdly, it did sound like William was cool with Meghan initially. Not sure what shifted. There’s a lot being unsaid. I feel like an American author needs to do the real deep dive as it would probably mean less legal intervention from the royal family.
You bring up a good point. This detail just feels very telling to me. I think the rumours have been for a while that they essentially live separate lives, with Kate preoccupied with the children and her household, and William doing whatever William does.
The ages each woman met their prince is a significant factor as well. Kate’s life trajectory went way off course when she & William moved in together at Uni. For better or worse, Meghan’s career path would have changed if she’d gotten involved with Harry at that age.
Kate and her mom wanted her to take that trajectory. Girl chased him and didn’t work for 10 years to get where she is. This is the course she and her mother planned.
I have a hard time imagining a go-getter like Meghan being happy not holding down any sort of consistent job or volunteer work for 10 whole years post-graduation while waiting for her boyfriend to propose.
Chelsy Davy got involved with Harry when they were teens. She did not just hang around waiting for a proposal, she got an advanced degree in law. I don’t think Meghan would have just waited around either.
Meh, I don’t think Chelsy Davy hinged her life and its prospects on marrying Harry though. That’s the key difference. The press behaved like she was going to be his wife from day 1, but I don’t think she ever saw a life for herself as Harry’s wife, and that factored into her decisions in a big way.
I don’t think Meghan would have done the same either. And even if she did, I don’t think it would have stopped her from doing the sort of work she felt would prepare her for a future with the royal family. She would have still gotten a job with the US embassy in South America, for example. She might have veered more towards studying international relations. The book stated that her plan was to try and enter the US foreign service, but couldn’t, because she couldn’t clear the exam for it. So her interest in a position as a diplomat of some type was always there, and it would have served her really well in this too.
I think the real truth is out at long last and at some point Kate might state through her PR that she will no longer do duties. Thing is, that if she had wanted to be taken care of, I am quite certain that she should have set her sights on some rich athlete or financier. Thing is, that if she steps back from public life for good, she will lose all standing in the court leaving her with no leverage and the press will move on to the next ‘it’ ‘girl leaving her in the dust. The press might also turn on her once the readership gives the signal that praise and fawning will no longer sell.
A titled guy with his own estate would be inclined to marry one of his own, not someone like Kate who is just out to be taken care of in style and wouldn’t be interested in running the household, much less making sure that the estate will be enabled to remain sustainable. Neither Pippa or Kate had any kind of a chance with someone like Henry Percy or even a genuine member of the gentry. Even with all the riches that the Percy family has, there is always the strain of having to end up supporting a spouse and with the way the Midds like to live, it is clear that if Pippa or Kate married into those aristocratic families, they would be blowing the family fortune on all sorts of noveau junk that would scream to the world that they “MADE IT BITCHES!” and it would cause a ton of resentment.
One thing that Hilary Mantel got wrong about Kate, is that Kate was NOT like consorts of the 1500’s.
I’m an EXTENSIVE reader of history and consorts of the 1500’s were not stay at home mothers in the sense that they didn’t do much. Consorts were expected to run households, be out and about as much as possible, raise funds for schools and charities and also make sure that protocol was respected and adhered to. Greeting ambassadors, working to impress needed allies, and also at the same time, they were not raised to be kept women. Only mistresses were allowed to get away with being idle and brainless and consorts would NEVER pull anything like shirk appearances or have family members mooching.
Kate, for a lack of a better way of putting it, was raised by her mother to go after all she would be able to get out of a man instead of going out into the world and making something of her own. She was not raised to create her own security and lifestyle that she wanted for herself. She was raised to be a kind of kept woman with the gloss of a wedding ceremony and ring to make her ‘respectable.’ She is a kept woman with a ring, that has been her upbringing and that has been her mentality.
Excellent response. Fascinating stuff about the consorts of old. Kate is lazy and entitled.
I strongly suspect that Kate gets away with working so little because she leverages William’s cheating and her silence on it. It’s actually quite weird for William to be meeting Meghan at the kitchen in KP while Kate is at Amner with the kids. William barely works, although he was possibly still doing part time work with the EEAA, so it’s even weirder that he’s the one in London. There were also rumours of an affair with a London lawyer or banker when the Rose story came out in addition to the, living separate lives. Maybe Kate doesn’t have to work as much as Diana did as a way to keep her quiet about what William is really doing. The Rose affair threw a wrench in things because willy was dipping in the community garden in her territory and broke the unspoken rule of not making her aware of it, which lead to Kate disappearing from public view for March and April 2019 and then getting thr VO ribbon, top level.
It would explain why Charles and the Queen haven’t made Kate step up in engagements even though all her kids are old enough for her to do more.
If Amner hall is “Kate’s territory” and “Kate’s house,“ while Kensington Palace/London is more “William’s house” and “William’s fun time territory,” then yeah, I can see why the Rose affair really, really rankled her more than others. In order for William to see Rose as often as he wanted, he would’ve had to be staying at Amner. With Kate and the kids. Just having him there so much more often when you’ve been used to living how you want and running the house the way you like, would be annoying. And if he’s at Amner conducting his affair in plain sight, then Kate is going to have to either see it all the time and she can no longer pretend that she honestly doesn’t know what’s going on, and the people in Norfolk would probably start treating her like “Poor Kate, the woman being cheated on” which would be annoying, or she’s going to have to pack up the kids and go stay in London at Kensington Palace, where she’s more accessible to courtiers and might be expected to work more often since she’s actually there in London, when she would much rather be living far away from everything in “her house” in Norfolk.
I feel like people are getting confused in some respects. But the fact is that ‘having a career’ in this context means working for a living. Kate has never had to do that, and she has never planned to do that. She has a trust fund, and her plan was to always marry wealthy and be settled for life.
Running the domestic affairs of your household, for the aristocracy, does not count as a ‘career’ as far as they are concerned. It’s what is expected of you, in your capacity as their wife. It’s still work, but work =/= a career, if that makes any sense. The distinction is subtle, but crucial. You’re not working outside of your home, and you’re not working for an hourly wage that you need to cover your expenses, because you have that stuff taken care of, either because you inherited wealth, your land holdings and estates are generating passive income, or because your husband is the earner.
This doesn’t mean you can’t have a job outside of your home, or before your marriage. But you don’t need the job and the money it provides to live comfortably. You can still do it if you have a particular passion for something, or because you just like to have a job and do something outside of the house. But it’s not a need. You don’t need it to put food on the table.
As such, Kate didn’t need to be interesting in having a career to at least have had a job at some point in her life, which she didn’t. She lived off her parents’ money until she got married. She could have been completely disinterested in having a career, but still had a steady job of some type. This is an anomaly, even for aristocratic women with trust fund and rich families. The expectation is that you’ll do something with your time, whether that’s DJing part time, starting a lifestyle brand that’s doomed for failure, being a yoga instructor, breeding designer hamsters for a living, writing a poorly received fluff column about party planning, etc. Kate didn’t even do that with her time, before marriage.
The problem with Kate after marriage is not her disinterest in having a career. It’s the fact that she’s not really doing a good job fulfilling the expectations of her role, as a public figure, and a part of a public facing monarchy, which is her duty. You don’t need to have had a career before marriage to do what’s expected of you, if you were in Kate’s position. Royals who refuse to reckon with the public nature of their duties, which is part and parcel of the monarchy whether you like it or not, are failing in their roles, point blank. But her failure on this front is something that’s a little separate from her desire to not have a career before marriage.
Kate doesn’t just want wealth and a title. If that was all she wanted, she would have bailed on William a long time ago, tried to pursue her luck elsewhere. She didn’t. She hung on for 10 years. Her intention was to be Queen. That’s the title she wants. She cannot be Queen, without taking on the public role the position demands of her. She cannot step back and refuse to do public duties. The public wouldn’t countenance that, and it’s the public who pay for her lifestyle. If she wants to step back from the public eye, she will have to divorce William. Otherwise, she’s in it for life, and she’d better figure out how she’s going to manage it.
I don’t have an issue with her no having a career. But I have an issue that they pushed this middle class background. I don’t know many middle class families that would support their children until 29. They want to be like the aristocracy but even those kids try to make it appear they having something going. She could have volunteered, traveled, pursue higher education. Which all would help her now. She meets with established people and I’m sure it’s like talking to the wall.
Plenty of women didn’t plan to have a career but a decade or two later found them selves plotting a career when plan A fell apart.
Exactly. I don’t really care one way or another either. But you can’t say one thing and do another. Middle-class women aren’t bankrolled by wealthy parents. They have no option BUT to work for a living. Kate can’t claim to be down to earth and middle-class, when she hasn’t lived that life. You can’t claim to be a SAHM when you don’t live as the majority of SAHM do in Britain. The refusal to stop with the false pretense is what’s irksome to people.
It explains why the Cambridges are upset about the book – they are essentially being blamed for laying the groundwork for Sussexit. I bet the queen and Charles are mad at them – HM because W & K are being seen outside the bubble as causing a scandal and Charles for running off two senior royals that would have been assets for his reign. Charles ought to deny William the Prince of Wales investiture as punishment and Kate will not be call Princess of Wales. Besides it would be bad optics if Harry and Meghan weren’t there for the ceremony.
So William met Meghan two months before Kate did…then met a couple more times and was welcoming and friendly. But Kate was at Amner with the kids…this sounds like William was controlling the situation and wanted to size up Meghan independently. It’s not a happy relationship if the wife is constantly at home while hubby is entertaining – just saying. Sounds like William purposely excluded Kate and made an effort for show only.
Of course she has a career, chasing a man for a decade is hard work for our great CEO
*slaps face* Of course! Kate does have a career- busy CEO, oh so busy that cannot even do the school runs anymore!
“Kate was never interested in having a career”
It’s worrisome that so many commenters are fine with this, especially if they’re women. Sure, a woman should have agency over her own life and choices, but the choice to not have a career or a means to support oneself is always the choice to surrender one’s agency to another, usually a man. It perpetuates the patriarchy and serves to only empower the other partner. It makes the woman completely dependent on the man and therefore diminishes her status in the partnership.
Divorce rates have been about 50% in the U.S. for long enough that women should understand that they’re gambling with their future when they’re content to be completely reliant on a man who will have the means and a solid career to be self-sustaining should they divorce. Sure, Kate is well-connected and will likely be fine, but there are millions of women who aren’t because they chose to be dependent.
The 50% divorce rate is not accurate if you look at socioeconomic status. College-educated couples have a divorce rate in the 20-something %.
Kate was NEVER going to be fully dependent on any man she married. Her family is independently wealthy. If Kate had never married, the family money and family business were there for her.
Furthermore, even if she and William were to divorce, as the mother of the heir to the throne, she would end up with a substantial settlement.
Choosing not to pursue a career doesn’t really have fallout equally. You have to consider the individual situation.
I somehow think that the Middletons borrowed some of the money and got help from Gary Goldsmith, Carole Middleton’s brother. I think their wealth is overstated. They had enough to support Kate throughout the years she waited for the ring.. Not enough to support Kate and Pippa if they never married, or James for that matter. I think that if William had said no Kate would have moved on to a wealthy person from “new money” I doubt an aristo, however. She would be able to have lived comfortably through a marriage. If there were a divorce, Kate would not be center stage, the second wife would and Kate would appear only when events involved their children.
Kate oozes jealousy. She’s jealous of Meghan’s looks, personality, smarts, focus and successes and can’t stand it. William is jealous of his brother’s marriage, accomplishments and military career. Between the two of them no small wonder the relationship with the Sussexes is fractured, most likely permanently. It was a perfect storm of petty jealousy, financial mismanagement, leaking and tacit approval of the gutter press going after Meghan.
Kate isn’t an introvert by any stretch of the imagination, just google some of her early clubbing photos. She is, however, lazy and not very bright – not a good combination when you take on the role of future Queen Consort. You work for the public who supports you in a very luxurious lifestyle. Neither of the Cambridges seem to have gotten the memo.
This, ALL of this.
+1
Nothing wrong with not wanting a career, but it’s not like she’s using her time as a “hands on mother” to care for her kids (hello, nannies!) or do any type of philanthropic work to make a difference in someone’s–anyone’s–life. Her life is a banal, superficial reinforcement of 19th century “ladyhood.”
To me it’s just astonishing that kate is always giving a pass about her fans the royal reporters and now some of the commentators here . Kate is 38 years old she is supposed to be the future queen of England and her job to work for the crown kate is always being giving the benefit of the doubt excuses for her shortcomings as royal married in . Her behavior towards Meghan shouldn’t not be excused It was rude and snobby it show her true character she didn’t believe that Meghan was worth of her time she thought Meghan wasn’t important enough she thought she would still be the queen bee the only woman among princess Diana two boys . The way kate is handle with absolutely kids hand is ridiculously their always a excuses for her she always giving a pass she a mother but Meghan is also a mother to 1 year old she always working on something she doesn’t get any pass for anything. But kate there always commenters defending kate bad behavior or saying we shouldn’t compare the two woman but they have no problem with the British tabloids comparing the two woman and always knocking Meghan down while putting kate on the pedestal as the most perfect woman to ever live . Kate isn’t this nice sweet kind doting mother her stans made her out to be she is a catty jealous mean spirited racist Karen who with the help her mother who is just as horrible actively involved smeared Meghan at every turn.
Sarcasm on/
Of course we have to give Kate a pass. If not some people think we elevate Meghan to Saint Angelina. What would the children think!
Sarcasm off/
Standing ovation!
To be fair to both of them, it’s crazy to compare a black woman who was raised in California by a single mom with an English girl raised by a family of wannabe Royals.. For Meghan work was never an “option”.
Kate on the other hand was prepared solely to be the wife of a royal (Prince William was targeted by her parents when they enrolled her in school at 4 !) or any rich aristocrat if she couldn’t get their 1st choice.
Her mother worked as a stewardess only to meet a rich man which was a common trend for stewardesses at that time (my grand aunt was one of them..)
Even if I hate how Kate behaved with Meghan, I can understand her pain and explain (not excuse) jealousy. Meghan made a name for herself, she was successful before meeting Harry and he’s the one who noticed her and chased her..
Kate has to put up with all the stupid rules the monarchy implies while being mistreated by the press and cheated on by her husband who has never loved her. He only agreed to marry her like Charles did with Diana.
And despite her efforts to be the perfect princess, the Queen still doesn’t like her and prefer Meghan.. she must intensely hate her life and this is what make people hateful.
I believe BOTH Kate’s parents worked for the airline. So, clearly she wasn’t hunting for a rich man. I think you are really insulting flight attendants with your assertion that they were all hunting for rich husbands.
Carol wanted to marry Prince Charles. She had his photo on her wall as a teenager. She settled for a man with a royal connection – his father had been co pilot to Prince Philip.
Growoing up US vs UK is very different but I think they were both somewhere in middle class.
I think Meghan’s dad was in her life, both parents had pretty good jobs and she attended private schools.
Fine with that. Jst don’t take up roles that actually require you to be out there doing something or people will call you out on your free ride.
I’m a mid century baby and in my day families lived on one income and to be an airline stewardess was thought to be a glamorous profession for a woman where you could travel and meet a wealthy man you would eventually marry, have children and stay at home. Of course, you had to be pretty, slender and Caucasian. Oh and wear heels and a suit on the plane. Did I mention stockings? In the 50s and early 60s there was the old joke that women attended college to attain their Mrs degree. Really Miss Middleton harkens to that time but she had her family’s wealth to cushion her lifestyle and her mother’s desire to climb up up and away. She’s so very mid century
SAHM moms still work. Kate has kids in school
AND nannies and cooks, butlers and stylists she does absolutletly no work except blame any criticism of herself or uer husband on Meghan.
@Beech. What family wealth did they have? Its well known that Carole came from a working class family, and Mike although he inherited a small sum from one of his ancestors was not a wealthy man. In fact moneys they had during Kate’s formative years is believed to be given to them by Carole’s brother who obtained it from the sale of his software business, and from the online party supplies business Carole started.
@Owens. Understood. Middleton’s mother grew up in council housing. And CM enterprising enough to start up a business and the good luck to have a brother, however shady, give her money to help along the way. At some point, the kids were attending public school. What I think of as private school. At some point there was a gap year, nice if you can afford it. I know young people after high school work for a year because they’re not ready/tired of school and want to earn money of their own even at a minimum wage job. In time, they will attend school whether it be a college or trade school. That time in between is their gap year but they’re working. I can’t think of anyone in my life who had kids in school and after never worked. Everyone was expected to pursue work, have ambition towards a tangible goal, a career, a trade of some kind. Kate received a degree in art something. Was there no iota of curiosity, a hunger to learn more after that? Perhaps but didn’t her family buy her a place at some point. And her family had the wherewithal to give her a private income so she could travel with William and be with him all those years. Those are pretty rarified circumstances.
Nobody is suprised to reas this. Kate’s passive aggressive attitude since when their engagement was announced was clue. In the limited times we heard her and NormalBill talk about H&M they always make it shallow or revert back to themselves like “good he wont be raising our fridge”! They couldn’t even congratulate Meghan on Archie’s pregnancy & instead went on to say “now he’s
part of the sleepless night brigade” or “it’s a good time to have kiddies”!!!!! Its sad to see the book confirms that story of kate going to supermarket and not giving Meghan a lift. No wonder harry introduced Meghan to kate so late. She must’ve been mean to his other girlfriends too
I believe that Kate has made one horrifically bad decision after another in regards to refusing to work. Let’s not pretend that she has work as an ‘option.’ Despite the title, she has nothing to back it up. No powerful family, no regal lineage, and she has no powerful allies that are going to be more than happy to look out for her and her interests. The title is essentially empty, much like her degree since it has been unused. She is someone who has nothing to back her up. each year that goes by that she wastes in the countryside, is another year that she loses ground and loses respect and patience. I am quite certain that when HM joins her ancestors, it will not get easier for her, it will in fact get harder. She has nothing to stand on. Each empty day is another day that should have been filled with appearances or meetings or office work, not quaffing fine wines and smoking while watching TOWIE. William might put up with it, the BRF might let her get away with it in exchange for compliance, but I am quite certain that the reality is, that each empty day is another day where she loses more ground and loses more to stand on. She loses leverage by the hour that she refuses to work and I do have the belief that the BRF has quietly given up on her and has decided to just let her drift and at some point there will be either a quiet divorce or William will just ignore her and leave her to her own devices. I am sure that he will end up just living his own life and not caring if she is embarrassed or not and at some point she will be viewed and treated as a kind of odd addendum that is kind of like an old pair of pants that are still there, but don’t really belong anymore. She might make it to Princess of Wales, but I believe that she will have little leverage to get things for her family or maybe even for herself.