I get that many of you don’t really care about George Clooney. It’s true that in the past few years he’s crossed over from “Hottest Hollywood Eligible Bachelor” to “Skeezy Pervert Who Should Grow Up”. That’s part of the reason I still like to write about him – how can a man be so utterly beloved by Hollywood and yet still maintain such a level of sleaze? Perhaps part of Clooney’s “jumping the shark” came with the whole Sarah Larson debacle. It was as if Clooney thought he could pass her off as some kind of legitimate waitress/model with a heart of gold, someone he might be willing to settle down with. That was good enough for People Magazine, who promoted Sarah and George as some kind of new golden couple. But I found the whole episode gross.

Moving on, we’re being sold a new version of Sarah Larson. Her name is Elisabetta Canalis, and she’s been George’s new piece for most of his Italian summer. We’ve been treated to puff pieces in most of the tabloids about how George has “fallen head over heels” for this “voluptuous Italian beauty”. Meanwhile, the few exposés on Elisabetta show a woman who is basically a (NSFW) pr0n actress. That’s how George likes them – so of course, he’s invited Elisabetta to move into his California abode.

George Clooney’s romance with Italian TV personality Elisabetta Canalis apparently isn’t just a summer fling. According to a friend, George is already thinking about what will happen when he goes home to LA – so he invited his 30-year-old girlfriend to move into his home in Studio City, CA.

“George is ready to live with Elisabetta,” his pal reveals. “She has some business to take care of, but has agreed to join George in California just as soon as she’s done with her own work.”

Elisabetta has already been spending lots of time at George’s villa near Italy’s Lake Como – where he lives most of the summer – and the lovebirds seemed to enjoy their days together there, motorcycling and boating in the seaside town of Laglio. They were even spotted sharing a late-night smooch.

But George will be back soon enough: after a short stay in LA, he’s returning to the Italian countryside in the fall to start production on his next film, A Very Private Gentleman.

“It’s all good because he is getting to spend a lot fo time with Elisabetta. He really like this girl,” says the pal. “She’s beautiful, smart and very nice. She may be the one he’s been looking for.”

[From In Touch Weekly, print edition, September 7 2009]

I know I’m being judgy. I know I’m being prudish. Here’s the thing – if George wants his sleazy pieces, fine. That’s his business. But don’t try to pass her off like she’s some demure young thing, the perfect, classy, non-controversial arm candy of a Hollywood A-Lister. And don’t try to make us believe that she’s “one he’s been looking for.” We all stopped buying it a long time ago. At this point, I’m buying that George is into sado-masochism, and Elisabetta broke his hand for being a naughty, naughty boy.