Last Friday, Jennifer Garner posted a lovely video of herself at her family’s farm in Oklahoma. Jennifer, wearing some denim overalls and really cute red wellingtons, introduced the viewers to some of the farms family “pets,” several cows, happily chomping their breakfast and going about their cow business. It’s just a cute and silly video to promote one of the farms used for her organic Once Upon a Farm baby food line:
Sweet, right? Yeah, I thought so too. Even famous friends Reese Witherspoon and Natalie Portman jumped in the comments to express delight with Jen’s choice of farmer’s wear. But that didn’t stop one nosy commenter asked the ridiculous question, “are you pregnant?” We’ve mentioned more than once here that this is just not a great question. The main reason is that we have no idea where a person is on their reproductive journey. They may have just lost a baby or been trying for a while and met disappointment. They may be pregnant and not ready to announce it yet. Or, they may not be pregnant at all, and the question smacks for entirely different reasons. How hard is it to wait until the mom-to-be brings it up first?
However, Jen is much more adept at handling Rude Ruthies than me and answered with a great response:
I am 48, have three healthy kids, and am not – and never will be – pregnant. We can lay that pupper to rest. Have I gained the Covid 19? Possibly. But that is another story.
I mean, that’s what people are pointing out when they ask a woman if they are pregnant, isn’t it? That the woman is somehow fuller, be it her face, her midsection, her backside – something has plumped out and the person asking is simply pointing that out. (In a few cases, it’s not weight but a woman suddenly refusing all alcohol or seafood that causes people to inquire. But this shouldn’t lead to speculation either.) It’s rude and again, who knows what the person’s sensitivities are right now. Between menopause and COVID I’ve put on plenty of weight. Were someone to bring it up in any way, I’d probably cry. And, depending on my mood, I might throw whatever quarantine snack I was shoveling into my face at them as they asked it.
One assumes that anyone poking around on Jen’s IG realizes she’s already a mom and probably has some idea of her age, so this seems especially spiteful. She’s lucky Jen handled it as gracefully as she did. There is the off chance that this person doesn’t know the first thing about Jen, but it still seems pointless to ask. Jen looks adorable, I wish I looked as pregnant as she did on any given day.
The only alternative I can see to asking Jen this is that I know recently there was a very brief rumor that Ana de Armas, Jen’s ex Ben Affleck’s new girlfriend, was pregnant. So maybe this woman was just trying to stir up sh*t with that unverified story out there. Either way, it’s not a good look. Except for Jen, she comes out of this looking both cute and sassy.
Photo credit: Jennifer Garner’s Instagram
She’s 48?!
Damn.
This was also my exact thought process on the matter
Oh lord. Social media sucks.
I LOVE how that one cow is just looking a her/the camera person like
“this again? do we have to?…just leave me to chew my cud, would you?”
Jen looks amazing. At 48 she looks better than most people who are younger than her in their late 20’s. Beautiful skin and I’m sure she’s also very regimented with her fitness too. For the life of me I’m trying to understand how anyone could think she’s pregnant!!!
Aren’t we always discussing here if Meghan is pregnant?
Meanwhile, Jen will always be Hannah from Felicity to me. I think the name was Hannah, she was a musician
It’s true that some commenters do theorize about Meghan, which is also inappropriate.
It’s incredibly intrusive and rude, and people need to mind their own business! Refusing alcohol is also not an opening for speculation. Perhaps they have quit (or are trying to quit or cut down on) drinking. Remember what Ellen did to Mariah? It’s no one’s damn business to be asking about, outside of a medical context.
I agree. How does this site post a message of support for Jen and reconcile it with constantly assuming Meghan is pregnant?
What a stupid question. Everybody looks pregnant in overalls.
She was on a talk show a few years ago talking about how she has a soft lower belly now (it happens to the best of us post-kids, lol) and paparazzi are always making stories about how she is pregnant because of that. She was joking about it but I felt bad for her. I have that same belly after 2 kids and there have been a few times at work when people have assumed I’m pregnant – “ohhh congratulations!!!!!!” and I’m like…..nope. The first time I cried, after that I just laughed.
I can’t believe a total stranger would be so rude. Jen handled it beautifully.
Overalls make everyone look slightly pregnant. Male, female, non-binary, babies…
Lol
Stop asking women if they’re pregnant people! Even if they are, it’s their choice when they want to share. It’s so intrusive. I also think it’s important not to ask if someone is pregnant because they’re avoiding alcohol. They may not want to share yet if they are pregnant or it could be a person struggling with addiction issues. Either way, it’s not necessary to bring attention to it. I’m sure I’m preaching to the choir here, but as a woman of child bearing age I really wish people would mind their own business. I’ve had an aunt of my husband tell me after we were married that she’d give me 5 years before she started pestering me about children and when I’ve turned down alcohol just because I didn’t want any my MIL excitedly asked if I was pregnant.
It’s not only social media where this happens, but I think Jen handled it well.
Shout-out to the random stranger who, seeing me with my newborn, saw fit to place their hands on my floppy postpartum belly and squeal “Oh, and ANOTHER one on the WAY!” 😩 Like, that’s not how it works.
WOW. I will never not be stunned by the way strangers feel entitled to touch or comment on pregnant bodies & (apparently) postpartum bodies. It’s so icky.
I have “no Im just fat” -ed people a few times in the grocery parking lot or whatever a few times. Blunt and blank stare right into their eyes. Its really the only way some people will ever learn. Also…….its been women every time. Very disappointing.
I’ve done that to my in-laws before. They always awkwardly smile and I walk away. They don’t ask me anymore.
I gained stress weight due to COVID and some really difficult recent family problems. Multiple people at work have come up to me recently and asked if I’m pregnant. They’ve even talked about it across my company. I’ve gotten pretty blunt about saying “no, I’m not having more kids, I have one with a disability and I’m done” which is SO much more direct than I ever wanted to be but that shuts them up. The worst part is when a co-worker then realizes they were being rude and apologizes in a word vomit for like 10 minutes straight. I’ve ended up reassuring them my feelings weren’t hurt in the slightest (not true) just to get out of the conversation. I’m now working on losing weight but it sucks to know I still look preggo to everyone.
Even if someone’s suddenly refusing alcohol or seafood, I strongly suggest not asking. It might be pregnancy, it might be a new diet they’re happy about…but it also could be a serious illness or the early stages of recovering from alcoholism. People usually need some time to figure out how to talk about those things, and it’s kind to let them do so on their own schedule.
yeah, my SOP after offering a drink and having it be declined is “oh, would you like tea, soda or something else?” without asking “WHY?!” it’s not my business and just like “no” is a complete sentence, so is “no, thank you” when offered an alcoholic bevvy. they don’t want a cocktail? they don’t owe me an explanation as to why.
no worries, I offer something else!
God, I hate the “I have three healthy kids” line.
Just say “I have three kids.”
Shrug. Maybe it’s bc I have a kiddo with severe special needs.
And I would never ever ask anyone about pregnancy.
I once (at maybe 20?) asked an acquaintance when she was due (having noticed the tummy growing over several months and she was only wearing smocks as well as not drinking alcohol). She denied it vociferously and I felt so badly. The belly went away and it dawned on me that she must have planned for giving the baby up and wanted to keep that to herself.
I did indirectly ask a young friend at work who was baby crazy, recently married, eating saltines, drinking ginger tea and looking rather green, but never straight out again!
Please don’t ask anyone indirectly again. It’s still asking. If they want you to know – they will tell you.
One raised eyebrow elected the information she was eager to share!
It is this side that always hints at Meghan being pregnant.
I love her answer, because Lord knows I have put on some COVID weight. Glad to know the celebrities are not immune to it either (no pun intended).
When I was pregnant with my first, I was over the moon and so excited I asked a young lady if she was expecting. The look on her face said it all and I never asked again (even if they were looking like they would pop right that second). I have also been asked if I was expecting when I wasn’t – not a great question to be asked. So I get fully understand!
I hate the baby bump watch comments. It’s insulting if a women isn’t pregnant and it’s no ones business regardless. I like the way she shut down the comment. She’s 48, it’s possible, but very unlikely. People still watch Gwen Stefani’s mid-section and she’s in her 50’s. It’s bizarre.
Men and women will always be the strangest animals. Aggression, nosiness and rudeness have never surprised me in either, social media has simply lowered the barriers and tossed away the filters.
Jen looks so cute here and I have farm and cow envy!
I had a favourite diaphanous top I used to wear in my thirties but when it began to fit a little more snug I started getting “knowing” looks and smiles from other women. I ended up donating it before the questions came. ☹
Holy forking shirtballs! Locusts grove Oklahoma!! I have family there! I’m now only 2 degrees separated from her 😂
Sorry, y’all were all very eloquent and correct about the pregnancy shaming stuff. I thought her family was from West Virginia? I don’t know that Oklahoma is an actual step up from that.
Born in Texas, IIRC, raised in WV, aunts & uncles in Oklahoma.