I honestly don’t know how Vanessa Bryant has been able to function at all this year. She buried her husband and her daughter Gianna in January, and she was put on display at the memorial at the Staples Center in LA. She was clearly beyond numb from grief, and at the time, I imagined that her family, Kobe’s family and the Lakers family all stepped up to help. As it turns out, Vanessa’s mother Sofia Laine came to live with Vanessa and her three remaining daughters, just to help out and be moral support. And now…Vanessa has kicked her mom out of the house…? Her mom gave a tearful interview to a Spanish-language TV outlet:
Vanessa Bryant’s mom claims her daughter kicked her to the curb after the death of her son-in-law, NBA superstar Kobe Bryant. Sofia Laine wiped away tears as she described the falling out with her grieving daughter in a clip that shows a preview of her sitdown interview with Univision reporter Dave Valadez.
Speaking in Spanish, Laine said the 38-year-old Vanessa forced her out of the home and demanded that she return the car she used.
“She told me, ‘I need you to get out of this house.’ She also told me that she wanted her car and she wants it now,” Laine said. The family drama comes as Vanessa mourns the loss of her 41-year-old husband and their 13-year-old daughter Gianna in a helicopter crash in January in Calabasas, California.
It’s unclear what led to the supposed falling out between the mother and daughter, as Laine has previously been described as Bryant’s “rock” as she navigated the tragic loss.
“[Vanessa] is incredibly close to her mom and her mom has been her rock throughout the past few weeks,” a source told US Weekly back in February. “Her mom is always with her and the girls [Natalia, 17, Bianka, 3, and Capri, 7 months] and she’s been keeping Vanessa strong and she’s the weight of her support system.”
Last night, Vanessa responded to Sofia’s interview and Vanessa is not having any of her mom’s bulls–t whatsoever:
“My husband and daughter passed away unexpectedly, and yet my mother had the audacity to do a television interview speaking negatively of me while shedding tears for a car and a house that were not in her name. She has removed all her diamond jewellery, emptied the apartment I provided, and put away the furniture to make it look like she doesn’t have my support. My husband and I have supported her financially for the past 20 years, and continue to do so, in addition to her monthly alimony.”
“Contrary to previous reports, she has not been physically present or emotionally supportive of my daughters and me after my husband and daughter passed away.”
“Now I see what is most important to my mother and it’s more than painful. I hope that everything that is coming out about our personal relationship ends here.”
Yeesh! Toxic parents are gonna toxic, but to choose to do this kind of sh-t THIS YEAR in her daughter’s life? That takes a special kind of narcissist parent. It sounds like Sofia wanted attention and Vanessa was focused more on her daughters and getting through everything, so Sofia decided to make a little five-act drama for herself. I actually know the type very well. I don’t doubt that Vanessa is beyond hurt at her mother’s actions.
Vanessa Bryant’s mom is the perfect example of why it’s acceptable to cut off toxic people no matter who they are to you because they will always be toxic and you’ll always end up poisoned.
— Grace Lynn (@Gracetasticc) September 22, 2020
Photos courtesy of WENN.
Gosh that sucks that her mom is being this way. It’s awful enough that she lost her daughter and her husband, and in a pandemic can’t access normal support from friends. But for her mom to be so trashy and hurtful in such a public way too? My heard goes out to her.
Kobe and Vanessa BOTH HAVE TOXIC PARENTS
I remember everyone was worried about Kobe’s parents not really being mentioned at the funeral and everyone forget he had all these memorabilia from childhood and its first couple years of the Lakers and gifts that he gave his parents and they had a whole auction and sold everything because they thought he didn’t give them enough money. This is all after they hated on vanessa because she was latino ….I can’t cut all the toxic shit out of your life even if it’s your parents
Yup. They both have toxic families. I’m not even sure Kobe was on speaking terms with his family when he died.
I hope Vanessa has another support system.
Kobe’s disagreement with his parents started because they didn’t think he gave them as nice of a mansion as they “gave” Vanessa’s family (it was not in her name as shown by her little tantrum). Btw Vanessa’s mom also didn’t recently move in to help she had been living in a Bryant provided mansion for 20 years. Even if her daughter “cut her off” recently she didn’t save any money after living rent free AND receiving alimony for decades????
I think I read at the time of his death Kobe was speaking to his dad and not his mom.
I never got their whole issue with him because his dad was in the nba so it wasn’t like they were destitute. I
I noticed in earlier photos Sofia looks very well cared for…nice hair, makeup, teeth, maybe even a little nip and tuck. In this interview she has messy uncombed hair and looks bedraggled….I mean, come on! People aren’t stupid.
Bedraggled! That word absolutely tickled me. Vanessa is probably focused on downsizing, which is prudent imo.
Ugh. What can one say about a situation like this? Poor Vanessa. Her poor girls. Her decision is completely understandable. I hope they have other people they can rely on.
I can’t believe, with all VB has to deal with, that her mother would add to her stress. Some people are just despicable.
I’m the daughter of a diagnosed sociopath, and that toxic shit is SO hard to show other people. That type of manipulation Sofia is trying hit me in the gut. It’s so classic toxic mothering, and something I’ve seen a million times. The behavior behind closed doors is completely different than what they show to other people. To use the media to try to make your grieving daughter look bad… always the victim.
I’m getting married and my biological mom’s new thing is to call “well I have an engagement gift for you” “well I haven’t seen you in over a *year*”. This is the kind of stuff that worked in college, when the “gift” was my tuition check that she refused to mail to me or the school, she insisted she give it to me in person. Just goes to show they rarely ever change.
OH Savu, your mom sounds exactly like mine. In the end, everything is about them, and making them the centre of attention. My mom talks about how she “let” me move, and “helped” me go to University. Bitch please, I got student loans and I RAN when I was done. The only thing you can do is cut them off.
Good on Vanessa for clearly stating her boundaries and sticking to them
I’m sorry you had to deal with that. I absolutely believe you. There is no such thing as a “gift” with toxic parents like that. It’s either a loan (monetary or emotional payment required) or if given to them, what was always OWED/entitled to them. It must have been emotionally exhausting for you.
I feel terrible for this woman too because you know people are going to throw out that incredibly offensive comment, “you only get one mother…” yeah well tell her mom that. It’s no one’s job to be emotionally abused by a parent to placate societal norms. Eff that.
Amen.
I’m so sorry. I know exactly what it’s like. I hate even talking about it with other people because everyone automatically assumes there are two sides and you must have done things wrong; okay, I understand, I do it too. But I also let them two-sides myself and internalized absolutely everything, doubting myself until the abuse became so vivid to a few outsiders that I was able to leave. Please be very careful about your marriage; I only cut my family out soon afterwards, but they ruined my wedding. I have only sad memories of it because of what they did behind the scenes that no one else saw, and it hurts when people tell me they had fun because my heart was breaking and the only good thing that came out of it was marrying my husband and getting away forever.
My thoughts with everyone who has had to cut someone out and can’t talk about it.
I watched the video clip and the mother doesn’t seem genuinely sad. She certainly is not heart broken. She seems like she wants only to hurt Vanessa as publicly as possible, but no, she’s not even able to pretend to be even mildly anguished here.
I feel for Vanessa. To have suffered so in the past year, and now this? Oh, I hope that she has an excellent therapist and some true friends to provide her with the support she needs and deserves.
I’m so sorry that she’s dealing with this BS on top of everything else. What an incredibly difficult year it must be for her in so many ways. She and her daughters seem so so sweet. I wish them the very best and continued healing.
Maybe Vanessa can hook her mother up with Meghan’s father. They sound like a perfect match.
Meghan’s father is poor, fat and ugly. Plus he has zero influence. Vanessa’s mother would never go for him.
You can see why Kobe and Vanessa married so young. They both had toxic parents and wanted to get away from them. Family estrangement is not a bad thing and it’s time that more people realise that.
This this this. Young marriage is often correlated (tho not necessarily caused by, obviously) with toxic families of origin. It’s viewed as a very effective route of escape. Unfortunately it didn’t seem to work in this case 🙁
Poor Vanessa. If anyone deserves peace (in the celeb world) right now, it’s her.
I like to frequent various forums on Reddit, including “Raised by Narcissists” and “Am I the A**hole?”. One thing that always sticks out to me are how young so many of the married commentators/posters looking for advice are. The fact that so many of them are married 20-somethings doesn’t raise eyebrows at first, but then they will provide details about being age 26 and have been married for 8 years. It is a stark reminder that any major milestone or transition into adulthood — college, first full-time job, marriage — is an escape route for young people dealing with toxic parents.
Dang this sucks so bad. What a terrible person. Sounds like Kobe and Vanessa both had terrible parents.
As a fellow daughter of a narcissistic monster, I empathize and hope she stands firm and keeps her mother as far from her granddaughters as possible. People like this never change.
My own mother has done everything from making my own rape all about her to blaming both myself and my little brother, who was all of eleven at the time, for our father’s death at separate times.
Clearly, not even tragedy can soften this woman’s heart and Vanessa and her girls will be better off without her.
My parents were narcissists too, mom blamed me when she kicked my dad out. Nothing is their fault
I said this above, but mine too! I see you fellow victims of narcissistic parents, and I send you all love, positive vibes and unending happiness with your chosen families
Sending you strength & love, Terra. Making your rape all about them hit me hard, since I can relate. A narcissist will always center themselves in everything & it was a hard lesson for me to learn that even when you’re the center of attention for something horrific, they will yearn for the spotlight & make it about them. The painful reality is that it lessens the support you get during a time when you should be getting all the support in the world & you have to spend energy that you don’t have on their drama. Damn. I am sure you are strong as hell since diamonds are formed with pressure.
Let us always remember who kicked us when we were down, so when we get up, we run & never look back.
This Sofia woman sounds like a piece of work. As a parent, I have such a hard time understanding parents like this. It’s one thing if a grown child chooses to care for an older parent but I think it’s wrong to obligate anyone to provide for the elderly. We have elderly homes for a reason. I could never imagine obligating my daughter or anyone to care for me.
@NotSoSimpleTaylor I want to say that the obligation issue is a cultural thing, specifically Latinx in this case. I am Latinx and it’s expected that we will look after our parents (and even our grandparents!) if we have the means and skills to do so. My parents have repeatedly asked me to not put them in an elderly care home and the only history my family has of putting relatives in a care home is the case of my great grandmother, who at the time was very elderly and needed round the clock care we just were not capable of providing her.
I feel the pressure and obligation to look after my mom, physically and financially, who at the age of 64 is by no means elderly but expects that care from me nonetheless, particularly because my sister has now moved away and I’m in much closer physical proximity to our mom. It’s taken A LOT of therapy and work and I’m slowly establishing boundaries with her but she sees those boundaries as me being “ungrateful” or “lazy.”
I recall a few months ago telling me grandmother that I do not want to have children and she asked me who I expected to look after me in old age. So that’s a big element when it comes to these attitudes.
It is absolutely Cultural. Latinos are expected to take care of their elderly. I’ve known my whole life that in our family we don’t use nursing homes. My grandma would always say that nursing homes were for gringos because they abandon their old. I will gladly care for my parents until they die because they are wonderful parents and grandparents. Vanessa’s mom on the other hand sounds horrible. She sounds like a selfish person that only cares about her daughter’s money.
I come from a similar culture. What people don’t realize is that there are rules and decorum to be adhered to in these situations as well. Yes, children are expected to look after their parents. But if parents act like shits, society at large will hold them to task for it. There is an implicit understanding that, if you’re living off the largesse of your children, then it’s their home and their money and you have to abide by their rules. That vulnerability, in part, is why so many elderly people in these situations resort to emotional blackmail, ranging from the small scale variety that’s kind of harmless, to the shitty sort that we see here, where they prey on their children’s guilt and obligations to get their way. But like I said, even that has its limits.
And while it’s an obligation to look after one’s parents, that can take many forms. The degree to which you provide assistance can vary too. What matters most is the image you project to your peers. As long as you look like the dutiful child, taking care of their parents, then you can do whatever you see fit, short of neglect. I’m not saying this is a great way to do things, but it’s some helpful context.
If you’re an asshole, everyone in your community will know you’re an asshole. They’ll know you’re that 80 year old mfer whose four children punt from house to house, because none of them can contend with you presence for too long. We might not put them in nursing homes, but I guarantee that there are ways to make them feel unwanted, and they know it. It’s just that some people are too shameless to care about that sort of thing. They just want what they think is their share, and they’ll resort to anything to get it.
I remember when Vanessa and Kobe got together and she was still in high school. She would sleep over and drive her to school. Her family was super okay with him taking her to school. Regardless of how close they were in age, it wasn’t a good look. His family were trying to get him to get with Brandy. The Bryant family did. not. like. her. I think it’s safe to say that over time it was obviously it was her and Kobe against the world and she stood by her man. Even I was skeptical. That said its just sad all the way around.
Yeah, I remember that. I was skeptical of Vanessa at the time, but man…both of them were dealing with so much. I’m glad they had each other. Prayers for Vanessa & her girls. The anniversary will be upon them sooner than later.
I remember that too. There were rumors that her family “sold” her to Bryant, as in, if he married her they wouldn’t press statutory rape charges. There are some horrible, greedy families out there. I don’t think Bryant was much of a “prize” either, despite all his wealth. The worst part of all of this for Vanessa was losing her daughter, which must have devastated her. As for the rest, . . . I think she will be better for it in the long run.
Sounds like Kobe’s parents and Vanessa’s Mother are a pair of “you owe me because I brought you into this world” type people. It reminds me of the classic movie of Guess Who’s Coming To Dinner when Sidney Poitiers father in the movie tells him he owes it to him since he carried his postal mail bag all those years to give him an education. Poitiers character turns around and tells him, “listen Pop, I don’t owe you nothin man. You choice to have a child, it was your duty as a father to provide for me”. This played in my head as I read the article. Vanessa was right to kick her to the curb, and now that she is the sole provider for 3 children, mom needs to STFU and stop living off of her! She can get a job like the rest of our parents worked. What a piece of work!
Oh I love that quote. I HATE guilt-trip parenting or acting like you are a martyr for taking care of the children you decided to have. My husband (whose parents are immigrants) is already laying the groundwork for our very young kids kids to take care of him when he’s old and I get so mad because it’s what his parents have done with him and his siblings. It’s like they are all brainwashed with guilt and duty and obligation they don’t have any boundaries or ability to see how damaging and one-sided their relationships are. Good on Vanessa for saying nope!
I am glad Vanessa is surrounded by family of choice in these hard times. I have toxic parents, and I wouldn’t survive without the people I have chosen to make family.
It must be so tough having to deal with a toxic parent when you’re going through such big changes in your life. It would be great if Duchess Meghan reached out to Vanessa Bryant; if anyone understands what it’s like to have a parent publicly betray you like this, it’s her.
I have no problem cutting out toxic people…I don’t care if we share blood. I’m not allowing you to treat me like sh*t and just “put up with it” because we’re family. NO!
Disgusting and unforgivable! After the unimaginable tragedy that her daughter is still enduring she does this?! Goes to the media to lie and disparage her? Just awful. It looks like Vanessa has some strong support system in her friends, Kobe’s sisters and her sister- and I’m glad. Because this could send anyone else into the deep end
This is so f-ing disgusting, whining over material objects as your granddaughter’s grave is barely settled. Not even counting your son-in-law for a second.
Your little granddaughter?!
Geez, this lady is gross.
I didn’t really know that people like this existed until I was an adult. I think people with such families cover it up for as long as they can because those I know with toxic parents/families really didn’t reveal the toxicity until many years into our friendships and usually only after cutting, or trying to cut those people out of their lives. These people are not the same around others and knows how to manipulate their way through life. One of the worse experience I’ve ever had was unknowingly trying to repair a toxic relationship not realizing the depth of the dysfunction and how hard the friend had worked to walk away from said dysfunction. That was my introduction to this sort of thing and it left me reeling. Believe people when they tell you their parents/family member is awful and they want nothing to do with them. It’s not your job to play referee, or to even have an opinion, just support your friend’s decision because you truly don’t know the hell they’ve survived.
Yes! Thank you. It’s becoming apparent what a problem this and we need people who aren’t directly involved to say hey, MYOB, you have no idea what they may be going through. Appearances can be very deceiving. Good for you.
Thanks for this.I wish more people were that understanding.
I think you hit the nail on the head @BnLurkN4eva. I want to add two additional points – one, that a lot of people don’t realize how toxic their families are until they are much older, and two, that there is a stigma when it comes to cutting off your own family. I remember my mom saying to me “if someone doesn’t talk to their whole family, something must be wrong with them.”
I have had really rough times with my family due to the fact that I was molested by a family member that my family chose to protect so that his mom, my aunt, would not know. She still doesn’t know and there’s a huge cover up happening for her sake. I felt and still feel betrayed that they are actively protecting a monster who has admitted what he did to me. I remember wanting to cut them off and stop spending holidays with them (the first Thanksgiving I skipped was HEAVEN) and seeking online a community of people in similar situations. I was shocked but relieved to find so many people felt that the same way as me – that they had people telling them to “just get over it”, “they’re your ‘insert relative title here,’ can’t you just deal with it for a few days”, etc.
Fortunately I have very supportive lifelong friends and when I cut my family off (for my health, temporarily) instead of telling me “to be the bigger person” they were supportive, invited me to holidays and vacations and basically let their families “adopt” me as an honorary daughter of theirs. They were supportive of my choice and asked me how they could help me through the process. I know I’m lucky, a lot of people walk away with nothing, and right now I am in a place where the cut off was temporary and I feel that I can be around my family for small amounts of time. But I understand wanting to go “nuclear” so to speak and being ready to walk away for good. I hope Vanessa finds the continued strength and support she needs, I hope she has some incredible people in her life to lean on.
I try to be that friend who provides the safe harbor because I will never forget the situation I mentioned. Now it’s easier to spot these type relationships and they are prevalent. I think it needs to be discussed more because if you grow up in a healthy family, (especially healthy immediate family, ) you don’t know and you don’t understand so there needs to be more awareness around this issue. Unfortunately the people who escapes, or a trying to escape these relationships rarely wish to speak openly about their experience, so it’s often confined to friend circle and online forum where a person can be anonymous. Awareness would also help those involved in these relationships to identify the particular dysfunction earlier and understand it’s not their fault, it’s not THEM.
‘I remember my mom saying to me “if someone doesn’t talk to their whole family, something must be wrong with them.” ‘
I have just cut off most of my family. Now that I am older, and have survived a sociopathic Ex, and saved my kid from him, I now see what my family is. Many are selfish, narcissistic, and emotionally stunted. Emotional abuse was supposed to “toughen” us up, but we already grew up poor and had challenges because of how and where we grew up. Now I am middle class, and I avoid my family. Many of them are middle class, too, now, but we are broken. Love only heals so much. People can’t be controlled. They have to want to control themselves, but toxic people want to control other people.
Coming to terms with why my brain and heart are the way they are has been hard, but I have peace now. They can judge me. It’s ok. But I remember being young, and family talking about the people who don’t have close families are flawed. Now I know better. Family doesn’t always mean “happy family”.
@Christina, I am so sorry for you experience. I’ve learned and it sounds like you have too, is that family is what you make it. My friends are my family just as much as my family are my family. The love and support my friends give me (and I, them) is unconditional and I am so grateful for that.
I’m a home care aide who work w different families.
Some are totally dysfunctional.
There are aides who become furious w children of the people we look after if they never visit.
I tell them that is NONE OF OUR BUSINESS.
We have no idea what happened within the family.
Your family may be loving but there are some families who are not.
Just do your job and keep your opinions to yourself.
This is absolutely the right thing to have said to them. They don’t know because that may not have been their experience in their own family, or worse, they are the toxic person in their family who others are trying to escape. It’s best practice to believe those people have their reasons for staying away. Some people have survived hell just to get to the point where staying away is a decision they can make and stick to. They don’t need anyone attempting to guilt them, even without intending to, into regressing and damaging the healthy space they’ve created finally for themselves. This topic falls under the heading of, I wish I could go back and do things differently.
It’s time to give mom a big HUNK of money provided she signs a CDA.
Then never see her again.
Only communicate thru lawyers.
Newp. It’s time to cut her off, including financially. Giving her anything more would just encourage her. Let her sell her jewelry or live more modestly. An NDA is no guarantee that the behavior would stop.
I’m sorry she’s going through that, but glad she put the truth out there to stop any gossiping.
How horrible, to have such a toxic mother, especially when you need loved ones the most.
I hope Vanessa has a lot of close friends and maybe other family, for her and her daughters to lean on for support. This has been such a hard time for pretty much everyone, and she had to get through it with the worst grief and loss possible too. I can’t even imagine.
My mom travelled to “help” me (she had my stepdad drive her 1400km so she could bring her little Bichon Frise since she did not want to fly with him) when my husband and father of my two young children (11 and 7) was in palliative care and expected to pass in the next few weeks. After a week of her “help”, I had to phone my 75 year old stepdad and beg him to drive out again and take her home because she was a nightmare. She stopped speaking to me (during day 3) and would passively aggressively slam around the house. And when I asked her what was wrong (bear in mind I was working all day and spending every spare minute I had tending to my kids and being with my husband at the hospital), she said I was not being a good daughter to her. What do you say to that? I had a feeling I would regret her coming but even I was shocked at how quickly it would go wrong. My dad to his credit, knew immediately what I meant, and poor guy drove back the 1400 km to pick her up. I know she came because all her golfing and lunch friends guilted her into it (how on earth is your daughter managing on her own??) We had just moved to a new province away from our families for my husband’s job transfer four years prior to him getting sick with cancer and being given a six months to live. After he passed I stayed and made a new life here.
Good for Vanessa for standing her ground. I know exactly how she feels. You aren’t really that surprised it happened but it is still painful and disappointing.
Omg, how awful, sorry you had to deal w that!
@Jojo – I am so sorry your mother put you through additional stress while you were being a loving, supportive wife and good mother to your little ones. UGH. I can appreciate how hurt and confused you felt when she acted so selfishly at a time when you needed her most. I realize you are not asking for advice, but I speak from experience and am offering it. I am not a therapist (but I have friends who are).
Some “parents” are just not capable of subordinating their own needs to those of their children, that’s a fact. Although it will be hard forever and always, please do yourself and your children a BIG favor: stay as far away from your passive-aggressive mother as possible. I know it sounds harsh, but mentally for you it is for the best.
We all have two chances in life to form a healthy mother-child relationship. The first is with our parents. The second is with our own children. Since we don’t get to choose who gives birth to us, sometimes dysfunction robs us of the former. However, you DO have the ability to affect the latter. Continue to give your children the love and support they need to become independent, healthy members of society, and they will grow into people who will love you in return because of the great example you provided for them. They cannot have a grandmother in their lives who treats their mother poorly and emotionally ambushes her. What kind of example would that be? They would only learn from her how to manipulate future relationships. You don’t want that. (AND it would only make you look weak in their eyes if you keep trying to have the “mom” you can never have, since it’s a long shot that she will ever change.)
I wish you the best as a mother who is helping her kiddos get over a huge loss. I hope you have found support in your community and with friends. One day you may find another partner, sure, but for the present your children need only you. (And please ignore people who tell you, “You need to start dating.” Nope …maybe after the pain of your loss becomes just a dull ache, when your children are older, or they are up and out, but not now.) My apologies for this being so long.
PS. Vanessa is doing exactly the right thing for herself and her children.
Ugh, did Sofia go to the Thomas Markle School of Toxic Parenting?
This witch. I can’t with people be that think because their child make or marry into a lot of money they deserve an affluent lifestyle.
Haven’t there been many blinds over the years saying Vanessa was just as bad as her mom?
What a strange and inappropriate comment. I’ve never heard anything negative about Vanessa, but even if I had that’d hardly be the point. She just lost her husband, the love of her life, and her daughter in a horrific accident. That level of grief is life altering. And her mother of all people runs to a tabloid to complain about losing a house and car that was never even hers to begin with? Talk about selfish and self absorbed! I think that’s the main point here.
@Kristin- Exactly. Vanessa must protect her children from her mother’s emotional manipulation (and done so publicly no less).
This kind of woe is me BS is best whined about in a therapist office-
going on TV to talk sh*t about her daughter- when the grief of losing her husband and daughter is SO FRESH- it beyond selfish.
My friend lost her son suddenly last year (he was 9) and she too had to cut out her mother- though she wasn’t THIS level toxic, the mother just kept making the grief (and the way my friend was handling the grief) all about HER and HER LOSS of a grandson. My thing is yes you as a grandma lost something too- but you absolutely can’t whine about it to your daughter who lost her son!! You can wine to your oldest friend if they are patient enough or more appropriately to a therapist who might help you see that IT IS NOT ALL ABOUT YOU
My heart goes out to Vanessa. And it really goes to show: money, fame, success, NONE OF IT CAN PROTECT YOU FROM HEARTACHE, FAMILY DRAMA, GRIEF and LOSS
I have no idea what the family history is, or what dramas have occurs in the past, but Vanessa has had to bury her daughter and husband this year. No family member should be dragging her, period, especially in public. Vanessa won’t ever be the same person again after what’s happened, so of course arguments are going to happen as everyone has their own grief to deal with, but the mother well and truly crossed the line going public. Gawd I’m so thankful for my parents.
I have a friend who lost her husband suddenly in a freak accident end of 2018, leaving her with their 8 month old son. Before her husband died, she had started to suspect her MIL who lived nearby was unstable but her husband was the buffer and always managing her so it took her awhile to catch on. After the baby was born, it became more apparent the MIL had severe mental health problems and once the husband died and the buffer was gone, it was blown wide open. My friend couldn’t grieve properly as she was always trying to keep her MIL at bay who kept demanding access to her grandson, but her behavior was so erratic that all she did was scare the baby. The relationship with her in-laws deteriorated as they blamed the MIL’s behavior on my friend, but truth of the matter is the MIL’s own kids didn’t want to deal with her either because they knew how unstable she was. My friend has now established firm boundaries with her MIL (hopefully it’s working) but it just sounded like such a nightmare when she couldn’t even mourn the death of her husband.
I didn’t even have to read Vanessa’s statement to know her mother is toxic. No decent mom would run to the press to badmouth her daughter, much a daughter grieving such a colossal loss.
I hope Vanessa sticks to her guns, sells the house and kicks mom out of her life for good. Nobody needs that kind of energy, blood or no.
These types of parents, like Vanessa’s mother, or Meghan’s father, only see dollar signs once their children reach a certain level of fame and influence. They all of a sudden want both money and more control, and when that doesn’t happen, go crying to the press to bad mouth their children. This is disgusting. She lost her husband and child and had people like police officers showing pictures of the crash and TMZ crawling all over it. Her mother sounds awful.
I just can’t imagine what kind of person could do this to someone who’s grieving the deaths of her husband and daughter and live with themselves. Nevermind that someone being your daughter. How?
I agree with others above that there’s definitely a cultural element to this and I come from a culture where you just don’t put your elderly into homes. They raised you and you look after them in their old age and whilst that can be problematic …this is deeper.
She isn’t old enough to need care… it’s all about money. Same with his parents it seems…I can’t imagine being greedy enough to destroy my relationships
I believe both sets of parents were toxic. I also believe Vanessa’s parents/mother did the most to flame the fire of bad feelings between Kobe and his parents. I heard he was close to his mother-in-law.