I love the way stuffy old “Readers Digest” writes articles. Terrible things are presented, then the person says why they’ve grown because of it, or are at least okay with it. Something like, “Luanne says that, while she’s not happy about having it, bowel cancer has taught her to be grateful for the small things in life.” So today we learn that, while she’s not happy about it, being single has taught Renee Zellweger to be grateful for the small things in life. Yes she’s been linked to some of the sexiest (or in one case funniest) men in Hollywood, she’s had a spectacularly brief marriage (that ended because of “fraud” – we’re all still waiting to hear exactly what that entails) and she moved to Connecticut, but Renée is really cool with it all – even though the article somehow subtly suggests she really shouldn’t be.

On staying single for the rest of her life:
“I don’t want to sound cavalier by saying that I’m okay with my situation, because I’m not a frivolous person and don’t take on something of such significance lightly. But there’s good in every situation. It sounds simplistic, but I still have the good things that have always been in my life.”

On her short-lived marriage to Chesney:
“I got married, and I’m not married. Not everything works out like you might hope, and I’m not the first person to have disappointment in my life.”

On her relationship with Clooney:
“He’s a good friend … you know, we have a lovely relationship. I write him six-page e-mails about my political rage, and he writes back, and cares too.”

On why she won’t take on racy roles:
“I don’t want the first shot of the movie to be a close-up on my naked breast because what that leads to doesn’t have a place in my life. “[Older brother] Drew, Dad, Mom, there’s a premiere tonight. You want to come?” I have to keep that in mind.”

On why she left L.A.:
“I wasn’t really into being followed around everywhere by six guys with two-way radios. There’s this whole network. You start to recognize them and it’s like, You’re not invited. I have a fitting, then I have to go meet this director to discuss the next project, then I have an interview, and I’m going to go for a run. And you’re not invited. But they’ll come with you all day. I don’t want to feed the fishes. I also don’t want to be one of those people who are sour about it. So I decided I’d just leave.”

[From Readers Digest via Us Weekly]

That’s a cute way to talk about the paparazzi: feeding the fishes. I have an image of Renée standing over a giant fishbowl that’s holding a bunch of swarming photographers, and she’s tapping in a few little flakes. That makes me happy. And Connecticut sounds nice, a lot of famous and wealthy people live there. Thus all the jokes about Connecticut. I spent my entire first year in New York city bitching about how much I wanted to move to Connecticut. Well that, and a fishing village in Maine. I can’t really see Renee Zellweger in one of those though. She’s already said she doesn’t like feeding fish.