OK! Magazine’s cover story this week is a lot like last week’s “Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are getting engaged (but not really)!” story. In this week’s episode, we learn that Sparkles is all up on Kristen’s grill, like, to the point of exhaustion. To the point of Kristen saying, “Seriously, Sparkles, my vadge does not need to be occupied at all times… you’re giving me a rash.” But the epic romance between Pattz and Kristen has to be kept hidden… because they are misunderstood… and tragic… and sparkly. In actuality, their romance could jeopardize the tens of millions of dollars being poured into the Twilight franchise for two reasons: Twihards won’t like that their sparkly romantic hero is actually interested in bangin’ his girlfriend 24 hours a day; and the studio wants people to actually buy the Jacob (Taylor Lautner)-Bella love story. Apparently, in the fragile minds of Twihards, all of this is not fiction.

In less than a year Robert Pattinson has gone from “that handsome guy who played Cedric Diggory” in the Harry Potter films to the world’s most desired movie star.

But now, on the cusp of even bigger success with the impending release of New Moon and Eclipse currently being filmed in Vancouver, it may all slip away from R-Pattz, thanks to his recently accelerated romance with his on-and-off-screen girlfriend Kristen Stewart.

Because it’s not only his legions of female fans who might be disappointed to see Rob taken off the bachelor block by Kristen — there’s also the folks behind the Twilight films.

A real-life romance between the two would subvert New Moon’s entire story line, in which Bella falls for hunky werewolf Jacob Black, played by 17-year-old Taylor Lautner, and the studio brass want the Bella-Jacob spark to appear equally as plausible as the Bella-Edward relationship.

“The producers took Rob and Kris aside and told them to keep their relationship under wraps for a few more months,” an insider tells OK!. “But they’re so much in love, they can’t keep their hands off each other.”

It’s made life a bit of a pressure cooker for the two young superstars. “They’re crazy about each other, and they want to shout it from the rooftops,” says an Eclipse set insider. “But they’re also part of this massive machine called Twilight and producers have this thing timed with scientific precision. They don’t want Rob and Kristen to tell the world about their relationship until the time is right.”

Adds the source, “Rob’s whole world is Kristen. I’m surprised he even knows his lines because he’s so absorbed with her. He has no time whatsoever for his guy friends and has cut virtually everyone off so he can spend every waking moment with Kristen. He’s all about his woman.”

Regardless of whether he’s jeopardizing his career by moving toward marriage with Kristen, Rob is clearly ready and willing to take the risk. “Trust me; he generally does what he’s told by producers,” one source tells OK!, “but this kid has a strong will of his own, and if he wants to walk around Vancouver with Kristen in front of the world, he’s going to.”

[From OK! Magazine]

I buy some of this. I do think the studio people probably feel a mix of emotions – they want to sell the Bella-Jacob story line in New Moon, but they’re also probably thrilled that the real life romance of Pattz and Kristen can be used (“exploited”) to sell magazines, television shows, et cetera. Their real-life romance is a free-publicity bonanza. Now if we can just Kristen to wipe that “Yeah, I just nailed Sparkles, and it was hot” look off of her face.

Header image via CoverAwards. The image below is a picture of Robert and Kristen trying to hide after a concert in Vancouver on 9/8/09