Yesterday we heard the rumors that John Mayer was hooking up secretly with The Hills star Kristin Cavallari, and with his ex girlfriend, Jessica Simpson. Mayer has actually been spotted at the same place and time as Simpson a few times since her breakup with Tony Romo, so to me that seems more likely. Kaiser thinks Mayer [probably wouldn’t go back for seconds, but I tend to side with Lainey at Lainey’s gossip, who writes that John could be doing it to stroke his malformed ego, and that he doesn’t really want Jessica back, “he just wants to know that he could have her back.”
John has denied half of these rumors on his Twitter account, and his tweets on the matter are pretty amusing, so we’ll repeat them here. He’s probably not being original, but some of these expressions are new to me and they’re pretty damn funny. (These are in reverse Twitter order from oldest to newest)
Rumor control: How do I put this like a gentleman…I have never high fived Kristin Cavalari with my pen*s.
about 9 hours ago from TwittelatorI’m sure she’s a wonderful gal but we have never tasted the Skittles Rainbow together.
about 9 hours ago from TwittelatorMy Milli has never slam danced with her Vanilli.
about 9 hours ago from TwittelatorI have never Bensoned her Hedges, nor have I attempted to Bartle her James.
about 8 hours ago from Twittelator
[From John Mayer’s twitter]
All right, Mayer, we get it. I almost got distracted by his creative denials and forgot that Mayer is also featured on the cover of In Touch this week with a sad-looking picture of Jessica Simpson and the title “Desperate Hookup: Jessica humiliates herself by reuniting with the man who betrayed her.” Surely Mayer has seen that cover and has something to say about it, right? Unless it’s true and he doesn’t want to lie and hurt Jessica’s feelings at the same time. InTouch isn’t known for being the most reliable source, but I get the feeling that something did happen between them. Did John promise Jessica that things would be different this time around?
John is shown outside Katsuya on 8/19/09 Credit: Fame Pictures
Brings light to what we all knew already, his relationship with Aniston was a fake showmance and she really isn’t hooking up with men.
Another point these women on the side with this douche bag really have low self esteem to allow him to use them. I see his game If he don’t come out he can juggle more women that way. Biggest jerk in Hollywood.
Maybe I’m a bit out of it, but does this guy still make music? Or does he spend all his time and energy on his love life?
This guy is a LOSER.
@Nev- What are you even talking about? Seriously! Now you are insinuating she is a lesbian? (Not that there is anything wrong with that! ) I just have no idea what your post even means!
On Topic-WTF is Mayer even talking about? Milli her Vanilli? Tasted the Skittles Rainbow? High Fived her with his pe*nis? What is he? 12?
Firestater: Yes, he is 12.
Again, YTF do women like this guy?
Dewsh.
douche-missile
epic douche. who the hell says things like that????? i hope he gets hit by a bus. and that kristin calamari (as dlisted calls her – ha!) has to be mortified.
I don’t understand why the heck women would have anything to do with this douche bag and no way in he11 will I ever listen to his music since he used women to even get into the position he is in.
@Nev: Please tell me in 10 words or less what you were trying to say. I am starting to feel like I am an alien.
he denied on twitter he’s with jess and again to e!s ted casablanca. jess’ not back with him.