Oh creepiest of creepy things. Scarlett Johansson, who generally seems classy enough (at least compared to most of her Hollywood peers) gave boyfriend Ryan Reynolds the freakiest gift since Van Gogh’s ear: one of her teeth. Though the pair haven’t been together all that long, Scarlett seemed to think the best present for Ryan was a piece of herself. And what’s easier to get rid of than a tooth? Slicing off the ear has been done, and we all know that a toe is totally played out. But a tooth? Now that’s unique. What an expression of love. Apparently Scarlett had her wisdom teeth taken out a little while before Ryan’s birthday. I’m guessing the idea came to her while she was under the influence of some pretty good dental surgery drugs.

Things are, like, totally heating up between Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett Johansson, and we’re not just saying so because the buxom blonde recently hit Canuckland with Ry to meet the parentals. Fraternizing with the fam is one thing, but now. This simply has become a supercreepy canoodling biz. See, Scar’s gone and given Ryan a piece of…herself? We’re not talking nooky, either. Read on…

David BeckhamRyan’s B-day was Tuesday, and last weekend, Scar-doll threw the slinky Smokin’ Aces studster an early bash at Chateau Marmont. How very nice. Can you guess what terribly unique prezzie S.J. picked to gift Ry with? A full-body massage, with each of David Beckham’s bod-guards present (just like Becks does), just to make sure everything gets kneaded properly? A walk-on in Johansson Svengali Woody Allen’s next slobbering outing? Oh, never mind, there’s no way you’ll ever guess, so we’ll just spill: one of her pearly whites. Yep, you read right.

Angelina Jolie, Billy Bob Thornton“She’d just had her wisdom teeth removed, so she had one dipped in gold and strung on a necklace for him,” says Desk Ouch!, who ran to us with the goss, practically hyperventilating with the nitrous-oxide-laced looniness. Nasty. Who do these two think they are, Angelina and Billy Bob or something?

[From The Awful Truth on E!]

Wading through Ted Casablanca’s writing is like swimming through a giant vat of pudding while searching for a pearl: you know it’s in there, but it hurts to keep opening your eyes to try to find it. Anyway. Maybe Scarlett’s just cheap. I mean if you’re already shelling out for the surgery, why not kill two birds with one stone and get a free present out of the deal? Celebrities get so much stuff for free: she probably just thought the tooth was free surgery swag and wanted to re-gift it. They sell gold paint at the craft store for about a dollar, and I doubt Ryan would notice the difference. How closely are you going to inspect the color when someone’s just given you their tooth on a chain? I pretty sure if they get married, he should expect jewel-encrusted toenail clippings.

Picture note by Jaybird: Header image of Scarlett Johansson on set filming, ‘Midnight in Barcelona’ with Woody Allen. Images thanks to PR Photos.