I love Michael Lohan. If love means kicking someone in the shins, then running away and laughing. I know a lot of people will debate with themselves, asking, “Michael or Dina Lohan: who is the lesser of two evils?” Look, that’s one of those questions for the ages. I have no freaking clue. They both pimp their daughter out with a zealous force. But Dina spends most of her pimping time in clubs helping Lindsay shove cocaine up her nose, then telling the press what a great mom she is and how hard Lindsay works. Whereas Michael spends most of his time talking about how messed up his family is and how godly he is. So they both talk to the press too much, so let’s cancel out that issue. What’s really left to debate is which is more annoying: doing drugs with your daughter or thinking you’re the second coming of Christ? I have no answer.

Michael Lohan wants to patch things up with his family. “Reconciliation and redemption – across the board,” says Lohan, a born-again Christian. “Just all of us getting right with God.” [Lindsay] Lohan’s visit to the Cirque Lodge in Utah was her third trip to rehab since January, a frenetic year in which she wrecked a Mercedes-Benz, released the box-office flop “I Know Who Killed Me” and was arrested more than once. She left the center earlier this month. Does Lohan blame himself for Lindsay’s troubles? “Absolutely. How can I not? I mean, we lead by example,” Lohan said in an interview Wednesday with AP Television News.

He entered a Christian-based drug and rehabilitation center in West Babylon, N.Y., after he was released from prison in March. Lohan had repeatedly said Lindsay needed the same kind of treatment. “I made a commitment when I was in there to God and to myself that, when I got out, I was going to do God’s work, and I was going to share with other people what I’ve been through and how God changed my life,” Lohan said.

He is now a spokesman for GodMen, which holds events designed to help Christian men renew their faith. Lohan said he doesn’t care if people question the sincerity of his religious convictions. “I’ve had such an effect on my family and my daughter Lindsay, and I want to show them through my example that you can right the wrongs and turn it around,” he said. Lohan added: “And I hope that the grace that has been given to me can work through my family, and that we can come back to that same place in our hearts.”

[From the Associated Press]

It’s funny how Michael says he’s had such a positive effect on his family, but the famous daughter is the only person he bothers to mention by name. He really is holier-than-thou, which makes me want to kick him some more. I really have a hard time buying it. He used to pimp his daughter, now he pimps his religion… and what it can do for his daughter. I highly doubt his motivations are good. If he were quietly going about doing God’s work, I’d have a bit of respect for him, and maybe give him a little credibility. It’s that whole, “Do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing” thing. But Michael Lohan’s left hand is always up in the air shouting “Look at me! I am the father of someone famous!” (I imagine that he’s doing it with jazz hands) and that makes it a little bit tougher to give anything he says much credence.

Picture note by Jaybird: I know I’ve published these pictures before, but I’m making it my personal mission to make sure everyone sees GodMan’s nipples. These were taken after Michael Lohan was in prison… perhaps at the rehab facility he works at (since it seems to be an office) though I’m just speculating about that. Now we know who Lindsay gets her delicious ta-tas from.