November 20 is Transgender Day of Remembrance, in which we remember those who have lost their lives to hate crimes against the transgender community. But yesterday, March 31st, was International Transgender Day of Visibility, a day that applauds and celebrates the successes of transgender and gender-nonconforming people. Angelica Ross, a groundbreaking female transgender actress known for her roles in Pose and American Horror Story: 1984, wrote an essay for People talking about her success in Hollywood. Angelica took the opportunity to remind everyone the best way to celebrate anyone is to accept everyone. Her hope is that society broadens its narrow understanding of transgender folks.
When it comes to human rights, society has mostly been going by a white feminist playbook that doesn’t include the experiences of women of color and trans women of color. If I could put one message on a billboard for this International Transgender Day of Visibility, it would be this: embrace all women.
We can’t keep invalidating other people’s experiences and not hearing their truths. There is not a thorough understanding of what being transgender actually means. Most people think it’s a physical transition, and that’s where we have a problem, because it’s not just about the physical transition — it’s about becoming who you are. For example, if you’re trans and non-binary, some people might see that as a “failed transition.” Or, if a trans woman doesn’t fit into some box of femininity, people will turn it into a joke. They want to laugh at her broad shoulders, or how tall she is and how big her feet are.
I grew up a big fish in a small pond. I thought my small town was going to kill me with its ignorance and harassment. My cousin would bring people to my job at a mall makeup counter and tell them, “You know that’s a man, right?” But in hindsight, I see now that they were waiting for me to show them something different. Now, they proudly claim me as one of their own. When LGBTQ youth are growing up in Racine, Wisconsin, they tell them Angelica Ross came from there. She shook up that town.
We have to focus on creating an environment where not only are institutions and workplaces safe for trans people, but there are safe people that trans folks can go to for support. The trans community has had so many setbacks, but it has been nice to see the wins that we do have, and oftentimes, those wins are in representation. We’re seeing more representation in Hollywood, not just in front of the camera, but also behind the camera with executive producers like Janet Mock, Laverne Cox, Rain Valdez and myself creating content. We’re employing other people within our community to help us tell these stories, too.
But Hollywood needs to recognize its tendency to love symbols more than it loves actual change. Hollywood players love to put up a bat signal to the world, announcing, “Look! We have trans people in our cast!” or “We have somebody gay in our movie!” or “We have a Black person here!” Instead of constantly using the same faces and names over and over again, however, producers and directors need to deepen the bench and understand that there are so many more voices and talent that could tap into if they just created the space.
Space doesn’t allow for Angelica’s full essay, but you can read it here. Her comments about “invalidating other people’s experiences and not hearing their truths,” applies to all marginalized communities and is the main lesson one must learn to become a true ally. The easiest way to process that which we don’t understand is to invalidate it, that way we don’t have to think about it. Which is exactly why so many well-intentioned people are looking at all the hate crime in the US right now and asking, “how did we get here?” Because one group wouldn’t hear another groups truths. And this goes hand in hand with Angelica’s point about a person becoming who they are. As with most things, we should give more focus to who they are than what they look like.
I really like what Angelica said about Hollywood, too. They do revel in their tokenism. And they’re absolutely shameless about it, too. They put one non-white or non-cis or non-male in any position of power or fame and they think it all better. “Look, racism, sexism, homophobia – fixed!” I am becoming much more aware what it means to provide a safe environment for people and how that extends past just physical safety. We, as a society, keep kidding ourselves that things are improving. My timeline was full of Transgender Visibility Day posts. I wear my Trans Lives Matter mask all over town. We use correct pronouns for people. And yet, they’re passing dangerous discriminatory bills like this one in Arkansas, denying children gender affirming health care. Thousands of lives will be affected by this unfair legislation because some backwards thinking bureaucrats refuse to let these kids become who they really are.
Photo credit: Instagram
“The easiest way to process that which we don’t understand is to invalidate it, that way we don’t have to think about it.” Yes, for sure. But I said this to my son years ago when he said he didn’t understand why his friend’s sibling was transitioning: I’m not sure we need to truly understand, we just need to respect their decision and be supportive and kind.
The thing I can’t wrap my head around is why people get so angry and upset at things that really don’t affect them. This newfound “concern” for trans individuals harming women’s athletics, for example. These people don’t really care about women’s athletics, lol. I guess I cannot imagine teaching my children to become intolerant people, but clearly people do. A lot of people do.
I hope we keep hearing from people like Angelica. People deserve to Iive their truth.
The only reason to outlaw or ban a person’s needs/choices/decisions, should be to prevent harm to another person or group of people. Period.
So, how do trans people harm anyone?
If anything, by allowing them to live their authentic selves, severe mental illness can be avoided…suicide can be avoided! Normalizing and encouraging acceptance prevents hate crimes against trans people.
Passing laws to deny trans youth proper health care actually *encourages* harm.
I just don’t understand what’s wrong with allowing, no, CELEBRATING a person’s choice to be happy. It doesn’t hurt me. It doesn’t take anything away from my life.
Love Angelica Ross! And this hairstyle and color is so cute on her!
Angelica Ross is gorgeous and so talented. She was outstanding as Candy in Pose and then was pretty much the only reason I stuck with AHS 1984. I look forward to seeing and hearing more from her.
I loved Angelica’s performance in Pose. She gave Candy so much depth and her final episode was both heartbreaking and glorious. I’m learning so much from her and other trans activists and performers. They’re sharing their excellence with us.
If the legal age to vote is 18, and drinking and cigarettes is 21, why should there not be an age restriction on getting gender reassignment surgery? I fully support transgender rights, but I worry about children who are essentially being victimized by parents who are not well in the head and seek attention through having transgender kids.
There is a wide spectrum of feminine and masculine even within our birth gender, as well, and some kids need encouragement that it’s perfectly fine to be a boy with long hair who likes art and fashion, for example — being a boy doesn’t mean you have to fit a cookie cutter definition.
Respectfully, I have seen no evidence of a phenomenon of “parents who are not well in the head and seek attention through having transgender kids.” If anything, it’s the children who take the initiative to align themselves with the gender that they feel is right for them. We have laws to prevent drinking and smoking until a certain age because those actions are harmful. Becoming your true self is life-affirming, not hurtful. Certain medical procedures, like taking hormones, are more helpful and effective when taken at puberty. I’m not an expert at transgender transition but I think that people who are transgender don’t need encouragement to be a more feminine looking boy–they know what gender they are, and it’s not the one they were assigned at birth, and having long hair ain’t gonna cut it.
If someone could explain to me the essential difference between men and women, that would really help. What is it? I’m not sure I understand, if it’s not biology, which it clearly isn’t.
Yes, Lisa. You are right. You sure do need help.
So you can’t. No one seems to be able to! Very frustrating.