Every few months, some America or British media source starts a round of “Orlando Bloom and Miranda Kerr are tote engaged!” rumors. Within a day or two, the rumor gets denied, usually by Miranda’s spokesperson. Rinse and repeat. It’s seriously happened several times. My theory is that Orlando (Freudian typo: I keep typing “Orlanda”) keeps proposing to Miranda, and she keeps saying no. And he sticks around! Maybe he’s waiting her out, hoping that one day she’ll realize she needs to make a lifetime commitment to The Dirtlip. Or maybe they’re just happily dating, and I’m just making all of this up.

There may be trouble in paradise, though. Page Six is reporting that Miranda was seen “dancing” with Lukas Haas. Page Six is making this sound very scandalous:

If Miranda Kerr is still dating Orlando Bloom, they have a very understanding relationship. Spies at the Jane Hotel the other night saw the Victoria’s Secret model dancing with actor Lukas Haas. One witness reports, “They were together the whole night . . . Jared Followill from Kings of Leon kept staring at them.” A rep for Kerr did not return calls.

[From Page Six]

When did Page Six become the gossip column for the town in Footloose? No, I get it. We’re supposed to assume, I suppose, that Miranda and Lukas were dirty dancing. Eh… I think Lukas is a good actor and everything, but even I would rather get it on with Orly than Lukas. That dirtlip does grow on me, especially if there’s not much in the way of competition. Of course, Lukas and Liranda could just be friends, and they were maybe dancing in a flirty way, rather than a “I’m gonna sex you up” sort of way. It’s open to interpretation.

Orlando Bloom and Miranda Kerr are shown out on 8/22/09. Credit: Fame Pictures. Miranda is also shown out on 8/26/09 and 9/8/09. Credit: Juan Rico/Fame Pictures.