I have a hard time figuring out my feelings on Jana Kramer. I would never follow her and estranged husband Mike Caussin’s advice. I’m sure if I took the time to read their book, I’d probably be horrified. But when Jana first started making cheated-on spouse her brand, I respected the hustle of a person who took the serial philandering of her spouse and turned it into a business plan. When Mike predictably went to sex-rehab, I think we all saw the self-help writing on the wall. The problem was, it also became fairly obvious that Jana needed Mike’s infidelity to make her chosen brand sustainable. And honestly, that’s really sad. Because as much as we all saw Mike’s latest affair coming from a mile away, I think Jana is an emotional mess right now. And she claims it really did catch her off guard. Because she totally believed they were both fighting for this ideal relationship they pretended to have.
Jana Kramer is moving on.
While appearing virtually on Extra Monday, the country singer and actress, 37, opened up about accepting her divorce from Mike Caussin, 34.
“Where do we find you now? I think the last thing I read is, in this phase, filing for divorce, you said you’re in the anger phase,” host Billy Bush asked. “Are you still?”
“I’m kind of at acceptance now, cause I got really angry. It’s not what I wanted,” Kramer explained of her head space.
“I came on here, I feel kind of silly because the last time I was on [Extra] it was with him,” the Whine Down podcast host said, referencing her estranged husband. “And about how we were fighting for our marriage and I just got really angry, because that was a lie on his part.”
“Now, I am like, ‘Okay, it sucks and it’s unfair and it’s not what I dreamt of for my family, for my kids, now I have to figure out how to accept it,” Kramer continued. “Walk on, be the best mom I can be for my kids, shift work and figure it out.'”
“Looking back, I’m like, ‘Okay, it kind of makes sense.’ I wanted so badly to believe this version that he was portraying,” Kramer said of her spouse. “It’s just that ultimate betrayal when you realize it wasn’t what it was and that’s hard to live with. It also helps with the process of moving on, knowing that, I know what I did …”
“That’s why I didn’t leave when I found out about everything five years ago,” the singer said. “I wanted to look my kids in the eye and say I did everything I could. It just becomes a point where I have to fight for myself. … Clearly, I was the only one doing the fighting.”
“I wanted so badly to believe this version that he was portraying,” this is where I grapple with Jana’s perception. She discussed how she thought they were fighting for their marriage together, yet even a casual observer could see that Mike was doing what was expected of him to earn his paycheck. I mentioned in my last post how uncomfortable I was that Jana had seized control of all their social media, including Mike’s IG page. Having to completely curate every aspect of her relationship didn’t tip her off that things weren’t as they appeared? I thought Jana was the mastermind behind a strange but unique angle to celebrity couple branding. Reading her comments since their split, I’m worried she became so engrossed in this fabricated relationship that she might have actually been blindsided by Mike. So yeah, I do feel bad for her. She’s lost everything.
Two weeks before she found out about Mike’s latest indiscretion, Jana posted a shot to Instagram about her breast augmentation, something she said she did just for her. Showing she hasn’t lost her sense of humor, she’s now joking that she inadvertently got a divorce body even before she knew it was coming.
BTW – this is basically the last pic of Mike on Jana’s IG. It didn’t get scrubbed because it’s sponcon.
Photo credit: Instagram
Honestly, infidelity at that level is a form of abuse so if you look at it from that angle is it any surprise it took her so long to leave? The gaslighting, risking her health for his selfish desires, probably blaming her for his behavior…I’m sure if we saw behind closed doors, the cheating wasn’t the only way he mistreated her. I’m not saying he hit her (not ruling it out though), but at the very least narcissistic abuse.
I came here to say something very similar @Leigh. When your partner continually lies and gaslights you about who they are and what they want, it becomes a very deep rabbit hole to climb out of. I am rooting for Jana here. As a former spouse of an abusive alcoholic, I see my story in her words and wish her the best.
@Leigh and @Heylee Both very good points. Until you have been on the receiving end of someone repeatedly lying to you, manipulating you, and gaslighting you to the point where you doubt your own perspective and thoughts, you just “don’t get it” I was married to a drug addict/alcoholic for ten years. He went through so many cycles of sobriety and relapse, and in the process made me emotionally unhealthy and co-dependent. I would see his relapses coming a mile away, but I was deemed the “crazy” one. You love this person, you want to be there and support them…It’s utter madness I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. And my marriage didn’t involve infidelity, so my heart goes out to those who struggle with that betrayal.
I finally left for my own sanity and mental health; my ex is sober now, and we were able to co-parent my daughter. We have a pretty good co-parent relationship now, and I am in a very good place, so I wish the same for Jana here.
Agreed, L&H. I’ve been in Jana’s position myself with an ex fiancé who made it all my fault, lied constantly, gaslighted and made his infidelity my responsibility. Getting the full STD screen after it ended was super fun. I’d just love to know why people who say they are against domestic violence say things like ‘I don’t know why she would stay’ or ‘*I* wouldn’t put up with this’. Until you’re on the receiving end of an abusive partner’s manipulation – the thing they absolutely live for – you just don’t know.
Sorry you had to go through that, truly. I think a lot of people don’t realize that it doesn’t happen overnight. It is not a 0 to 60 situation. It’s a lot more like the frog in the pan of water that slowly heats up. By the time things are truly at a “crescendo of hellaciousness” you have been slowly and expertly picked away at and hardly know who you are anymore. The gaslighting, the constant undermining of your self worth, the part where they make their infidelities your fault. None of that is done at step one, it is a slow and systematic process.
Thank you to all of you above for sharing these stories, you give really valuable insight into the situation and what might be going on for her. I’ve not been sure how to feel about this (not that her life impacts mine in any way but I come to CB daily and read the comments for a reason!) and I feel a lot more sympathy to her now. It was there already but I was conflicted with how she seemed to have made this her brand and was monetising their dysfunctional relationship.
I sympathize with her for her naivety and I guess have such low self esteem that she put up with this for so long. She’s also probably really tired because let’s be honest how can you sleep well wondering if your spouse is cheating on you all the time. Other than that, she’s kind of in a hell of her own making. She chose to have children with a cheater, a moocher, a liar etc. the monetizing off of their situation was gross. And now sis has to pay him out in the divorce because she made more than him 🙁 why Jana, why??
I read somewhere that she had to give him $800k in the settlement. That would have pissed me all the way off — he’s serial cheating scum and I have to give him almost $1million dollars for the privilege of him leaving me? Oh no….
I mean, that’s how we get the shows like “Snapped”. Do I think murdering a cheating spouse is ok? Of course not. But would I sort of understand how Jana got there if she did? Hell yes, I would.
Mike is so smug & disgusting. Jana is much too good for him. He won’t miss their marriage..he will just miss the fame and money which enabled him to cheat on Jana. Let’s see how many women want him now that his fame is gone, and Jana’s $ is cut off. Mike will be broke again in 3-6 months. Good riddance.
I honestly feel badly for anyone who gets cheated on. Sometimes, it takes time to leave a situation like that and no one is at fault except the cheater. I hope she finds a partner who values her next time.
I feel for her. Many years ago, I was in a relationship with a drug addict. The lies, gaslighting, disappearing acts, etc. totally messed up my view of the situation and self esteem. I see a lot of the similarities between her relationship and my previous one. It took me a couple of years to walk away completely and thankfully, no kids were brought into the situation.
I have a hard time with anyone who monetizes “mommy, wife, family”, especially when they turn out to be full of shit. Just stop. Work on yourself, privately.
I mean she’s lost a lot but she has not lost everything. She has wealth and two children I’m sure mean a great deal to her. When my abusive relationship with a cheater finally ended, I was kicked out and homeless. She still has significant resources that not everyone does. I do feel for her, but I also think she’s going to be glad, soon, that she managed to get out before wasting any more time. She just needs to focus on healing and on herself and protecting the kids as much as possible.
I feel bad for her. I think she really did love him and wanted so much for their marriage to work that she convinced herself that he was trying in a way it NEVER looked to most outsiders that he was. I tried, out of a kind of morbid curiosity, to read their book at one point, and I have to admit I didn’t get far. But a bit that I did read just left me feeling sad for her. It was about some argument they’d had in the past, and forgive me, I can’t remember ANY of the details now. But the upshot was, they presented the “resolving” of whatever situation this was as a win for both of them, a kind of compromise. A moment to learn from. But the way I remember it? I remember thinking she basically just gave in and gave him what he wanted. I had no idea how this was meant to represent some kind of relationship win. (There was also another little bit where he was giving out stink about having to pack bits of her things in his luggage when they went anywhere. To be clear, he had the space. He just resented doing this for his WIFE anyway.)
I expect that little bit of the book I managed to get through, that kind of thing where she did things his way and he convinced her- or, possibly more sad to think, she convinced herself- this was both of them trying to meet in the middle and making it work (to the point where it was put in the book as a win, a teaching moment!) was very representative of the dynamics in this relationship. I’m glad for her that she’s out of it. Whatever money she has to pay him, whatever you think of her, nobody deserves to be treated the way he treated her over the years. She’s so much better off.
I just feel sad for her. I think she seems like a nice person and has just been abused and used a lot of her life. I hope she finds that living without this scumbag is actually so much better than trying to hold a bad relationship together.
She needs to start working on herself privately, stay single and find a good therapist who can help her find self confidence and try to figure out why she would choose to marry a man she knew was a serial cheater, then stay with him through multiple affairs. I do feel sorry for her but it disturbs me that she chose to profit from his affairs, it just bothers me and I can’t even explain why. Everyone knew he would do it again, literally everyone, the only reason she was so surprised is because she refused to face reality and deal with the pain. You cannot change people, you can only control yourself, hopefully she knows that now.
I find these insta people so weird. How is this a career?
I felt sorry for her until she started to make this her brand and monetized the whole thing. Then it felt completely and wholly fake after that. At least it was hard for me to take her seriously when she was using it to bring in money. I mean, how exactly was that supposed to help her heal her relationship when the very foundation of this new branding is being the cheated on wife? That photo of her breaking down for parenting reasons she posted (on instagram) where she made sure she looked as pretty, well lit, and filtered as possible was just so insane. Was it really a raw photo or was it very planned?
Jana has been married 3 times at age 37. This will be the 3rd divorce if it goes through. Her 1st husband abused her and was convicted for physically harming her. She split from #2 a month after the nuptials. Add an engagement or 2 then marriage #3.
This guy has probably not spent 6 consecutive months of the marriage without cheating. He knew she checked his social media DM, cell phone etc and still cheated repeatedly. Now she has to pay a cash settlement plus he gets some furniture and a vehicle as a settlement.
Not sure what happened in her life before these relationships, but with 2 kids to think of, I hope she works through her issues/insecurities to help lead her to better choices. I hope this public oversharing is not her only avenue for revenue. And I hope she moves on from this lying loser for good!