The Me You Can’t See has premiered today. I have not watched the first episode yet, so I’m just going off the video clips online and what seems to be a previously-embargoed series of quotes from Prince Harry’s one-on-one conversation with Oprah. The clips and the quotes come across as part of Oprah’s interview with the Sussexes, minus Meghan. This is all Harry’s baby and he’s saying all of this with his whole chest. It’s incredible. Some quotes:
His first thought about his mother: “Unfortunately, when I think about my mom, the first thing that comes to mind is always the same one over and over again. Strapped in the car, seatbelt across, with my brother in the car as well, and my mother driving, being chased by three, four, five mopeds with paparazzi on. And then she was almost unable to drive because of the tears.”
Why he went to therapy in the first place: “I was so angry with what happened to [Princess Diana] and the fact that there was no justice. At all. Nothing came from that. The same people that chased her into the tunnel photographed her dying on the backseat of that car. I didn’t want to think about her, because if I think about her, then it’s gonna bring up the fact that I can’t bring her back, and it’s just gonna make me sad. What’s the point in thinking about something sad? What’s the point in thinking about someone that you’ve lost and you’re never gonna get back again? And I just decided not to talk about it.”
His feelings about cameras: “And so 28 to probably 32 was a nightmare time in my life. I’m freaking out every single time I jump in the car and every single time I see a camera. I would feel as though my body temperature was 2 or 3 degrees warmer than everybody else in the room. I would convince myself that my face was bright red, and therefore, everybody could see how I was feeling, but no one would know why, so it was embarrassing.”
When he first began seeing Meghan: “We would get followed, photographed, chased, harassed. It takes me back to what happened to my mom and what I experienced when I was a kid. But it went to a whole new depth with not just traditional media but also social media platforms as well. I felt completely helpless.”
The smear campaign against Meghan: Harry talked about finding his wife in tears one night while in bed. He blamed the emotional breakdown to the “combined effort of the firm and the media to smear her…I was woken up in the middle of the night to her crying in her pillow because she doesn’t want to wake me up, because I’m already carrying too much. That’s heartbreaking. I held her, we talked, she cried, and she cried, and she cried.”
Meghan told him to get therapy and he did: “[By] meeting and being with Meghan, I knew that if I didn’t do therapy and fix myself, that I was going to lose this woman who I could see spending the rest of my life with. There was a lot of learning right at the beginning of our relationship. She was shocked to be coming backstage of the institution of the British royal family. When she said, ‘I think you need to see someone,’ that was in reaction to an argument we had. And in that argument, not knowing about it, I reverted back to 12-year-old Harry.”
Processing childhood trauma: “The moment I started therapy and probably within my second session, my therapist turned around to me, and said, ‘That sounds like you are reverting to 12-year-old Harry.’ I felt somewhat ashamed and defensive. She said, ‘I’m not calling you a child. I’m expressing sympathy and empathy for you for what happened to you when you were a child. You never processed it. You were never allowed to talk about it. And all of a sudden now, it’s coming up in different ways as projection.’ That was the start of a learning journey for me. I became aware that I’d been living in a bubble, within this family, within this institution, I was sort of almost trapped in a thought process or a mindset.” Harry says that “therapy has equipped me to be able to take on anything. That’s why I’m here now. That’s why my wife is here now. We chose to put our mental health first. That’s what we’re doing. And that’s what we will continue to do.”
Why they stepped away: “[We were] feeling trapped and feeling controlled through fear, both by the media and by the system itself, which never encouraged the talking about this kind of trauma. … Now, I will never be bullied into silence. We chose to put our mental health first,” he explains, noting that his father, Prince Charles, would tell Harry and his brother, Prince William, that hardship was part of the royals’ job. “That’s what we’re doing and that’s what we will continue to do. Isn’t this all about breaking the cycle? Isn’t this all about making sure that history doesn’t repeat itself? That whatever pain and suffering has happened to you, that you don’t pass [it] on?”
Prince Harry has no regrets about walking away – his only regrets are about what he didn’t do while part of the toxic institution of royalty. I’ve said this for a while, and it’s weird to even put this energy out there, but I’m so proud of them for getting out alive. That was the main thing, you know? Because history was repeating itself and Harry knew that too. Royal commentators are going to be whining about this for months.
“History was repeating itself. My mother was chased to her death while she was in a relationship with someone that wasn’t white. And now look what’s happened. You want to talk about history repeating itself? They’re not going to stop until she dies.” It’s absolutely true.
Prince Harry knows, it’s heart wrenching to hear the words from his lips, but thank God they escaped.. This is powerful TRUTH!
No weapon formed against HM& children will prosper! We must never stop praying for them!! pic.twitter.com/V1p2zV7xFw— My Duke and I Podcast (@MyDukeandI1) May 21, 2021
The media really tried to say Harry regretted the Oprah interview…few months later this man is back with Oprah saying “I said what I said!” I’ve never seen a better endorsement for therapy. Harry really is not playing with you people anymore. #TheMeYouCantSee #PrinceHarry pic.twitter.com/cjLnMFJzZ1
— J.J. McAvoy (@JJMcAvoy) May 21, 2021
Photos courtesy of Backgrid, AppleTV, CBS.
I’m so proud of him that he went there. He called his family and the media out. It had to be said and he said it. But I won’t lie, I feel sort of scared for him now.
Plus 1,000 – he’s really done with them and how they’ve behaved. They and the BM have a lot to answer for but they won’t – the dysfunction runs far too deep.
He is pretty much incinerating those bridges with his family and we can’t blame him.
Am glad he’s been able to break the cycle – he is def in a happier place now. And what he said about his mother and her relationship with a non white man and history repeating itself – never a truer word spoken.
I’m deeply impressed that someone with his level of privilege was able to allow himself this insight, when the actions that insight requires would so clearly result in the loss of his place in the royal firmament. This is someone who isn’t going to participate in the destruction of his own soul. Good for him.
I know the Oprah interview was filmed before the “Meghan is a bully” and “ Meghan helped MBS kill Jamal Kashogii with terrorist earrings” smears, but I knew when that smear attempt happened, he was done with those fuckers. Remember, their press release specifically called out Buckingham Palace.
@Digital Unicorn – I honestly wonder what they’d be like if the machinery of the Palace didn’t exist the way it does. Sometimes TQ or Charles seems to come up to a point of learning and they get something from it but then the machine takes over. It’s hard enough as a civilian to overcome some of these personal patterns, but I don’t have a system of people governing my life and enforcing arbitrary rules.
@The Other Katherine – I think Harry getting into the military and existing among normal people was the watershed for him. That and the fact that he was the “spare” and was treated a lot more normally than William was.
I am with you on this. I am worried for Harry as his older brother Cain McCain Joffrey has shown that there are no lengths he will not go to for good press in order to secure the throne. From the moment of the two empty planes stunt, I saw him for what he truly was. Last night he called his own mother paranoid. Harry should be very careful and increase the security around him.
Do you think maybe he’s safer, or feels safer, putting it out in the open? That there’s no safety in hiding either? I wonder…but yes, he’s really a warrior, brave in the deepest sense. Proud of him.
Yes, 100%. Public scrutiny can be its own form of security.
I do. If anything happens to Harry, Meghan and the kids, the entire world will accuse the royal family of murder. Because there are still people to this day who believe they had Diana killed.
Snuffles – are there people to this day who don’t think that’s at least a real possibility?
Snuffles, it doesn’t even have to go that far. If any if the Sussxes so much as gets into an accident of any kind, fingers are going to point straight to the Firm and social media will go tf off! And it’s exactly what they deserve. They’ve made it quite clear that they see Harry and especially Meghan as the enemy. Those fools had better pray that the Sussexes never so much as stump their toes in public.
Isn’t that why Katie Holmes did pap walks all the time after leaving Tom Cruise? So Scientology couldn’t nab her because there was a record of her coming and going places? This is a similar strategy for Harry. He’s calling out the aggression so people will see it if/when it happens.
I think so, Sue Denim. If anything at all happens to Meghan now, I think neither the BRF nor the BM would be able to come back from it. Harry’s put them all on notice, and focused the eyes of the world on Meghan’s safety. We’re watching you. ALL of us.
Yes, totally. Bad things can only happen in the darkness. Shining a light on to everything is good. It keeps everyone honest and all the issues out in the open.
Honestly, I think he’s safer putting them all on blast. Because as @Snuffles said, if even a hair on their heads is messed with, there are TONS of people out there who will have no qualms about calling out the RF for their role in it. They are teetering on a precipice, about to plunge over the side and I think they are beginning to realize this now.
I think that Harry and Meghan have decided to lay their cards on the table as one means of security. I’ve felt that was what the Oprah interview was designed to do. Someone at the time said that they felt HnM received credible threats that would necessitate such a step and I believe it. Now if they are harmed in anyway there will be no surviving it for the British Royal Family. The world is watching this situation, perhaps not as closely as we here are, but the world is watching. I have been shocked more than a few times recently by people I would never suspect to be aware of this situation, not only being aware, but keeping up with what’s happening.
This! I was totally shocked to find out that my brother actually watched the Oprah interview. Not only did he watch it, but he made a point of getting back to his apartment in time to see it in real time. Lol. So yeah, people are paying attention.
Yeah, he pretty much summed it up so any grade schooler could understand.
Harry has had an awakening, has evolved and matured. BRF and BM cannot handle it. I cannot imagine how difficult it must have been to see the powerful confident woman he fell in love with be torn to shreds and weakened. I bet it was a trigger. That clip was powerful. And he adds that his father, instead of ending the dysfunction told them this is how it has to be. Harry does not want his kids in that environment. Kudos to him. He is what man and father and husband should be.
Yeah, the idea that “hardship is part of the royals job?” No, it’s not. I mean there are aspects of everyone’s life that are hard, obviously, and yes as a british royal you have to expect some media intrusion. but we go back to what Meghan said – rude and racist are not the same. Your wife being thrown to the wolves so that William’s affair stays private is not the same.
If anything, this tells you how little the royal family learned from Diana. They knew what the press did to her, how much stress she was under from the paparazzi etc – and they took zero steps to protect Meghan from that. Kate, yes. meghan, no. she was the sacrificial lamb to keep the rest of the Windsors looking good.
I’m glad she and Harry left and exposed them.
I think the BRF have convinced themselves Diana was crazy; therefore, they are not responsible for what happened to her and have no need for reflection and growth.
@Becks, I believe that the BRF does believe that “hardship” is the emotional dysfunction they live in, because they don’t have financial troubles. But it’s all self created. They would make excellent subjects for some psychoanalysis. Maybe they know this and why their motto is to keep quiet.
@Mac Wouldn’t that make them more responsible? If they are going to go with “she was mentally ill and not responsible” how do they explain shared custody of children and not insisting on treatment before allowing her to be alone with Harry and Will?
@Becks1, yep they were making Meghan being the sacrificial lamb and to everything else you said. The RF/BM contradict themselves and are hypocrites on so many things..
https://time.com/4914324/princess-diana-anniversary-paparazzi-tabloid-media/
Interesting read. I think Time was being hopeful with this story because not a lot has changed.
It really clarifies the timeline around him seeking therapy. Literally triggered into a former state of emotional trauma. No wonder H&M seem like such an incredible love story…not many couples survive through this sort of thing.
@Shawna : In 2017, he told journalist Bryony Gordon in an ITV documentary interview that he sought counseling in his late 20’s to deal with his mother’s death and that William encouraged him to seek help. So I don’t think Harry’s statement clarifies much about the timeline.
@Still_Sarah Just because he did counseling in his 20s doesn’t muddle the timeline. What he’s clarifying is that THIS time around seeking therapy, he realized he had to do the work. I have family members who have been in therapy for years and it’s just now starting to pay off b/c in the beginning, even though they were getting regular counseling, it wasn’t working because THEY themselves weren’t willing or able to do the work at the time. Getting therapy isn’t like going to the doctor for a broken leg — you get it fixed and it’s done. Emotional therapy is an ongoing process that can takes years; and even then, it’s not a straight progression forward.
And as his father was telling him that, Charles knew all along that the press would protect him and William, while Harry would be the sacrificial lamb. Charles is garbage.
Charles has repeatedly shown who he is and we should believe it.
Yep. That family eats it’s own, that’s for sure.
Buckingham Palace , William, etc. have defended Waity Katie before.
Stop blaming the BBC: Princess Dian spoke the truth in her Bio written by Andrew Morton in 1992 with her collaboration and permission. The Men in Grey/Courtiers and Prince Charles are only trying to distract the world from what Prince Harry said in his documentary with Oohrah which is being aired today……May 21, 2021.
They are also trying to clean up cheating adulterous Prince Charles’s image. He has thrown his sons to the wolves…the Press to make himself look good. Is it possible that he will be crowned King sooner than we think?
https://www.laineygossip.com/BBC-Documentary-claims-Prince-Charles-exploited-sons-William-and-Harry-to-boost-reputation/37655
Prince William and Buckingham Palace have defended white Kate Middleton on numerous occasions.
In the 2020 documentary William & Kate: Too Good to Be True, Professor Suzannah Lipscomb said that William was angered by similarities between the way his mother had been hounded by the paparazzi and the treatment Kate was then having to endure. “And we all know the outcome of that. So he stepped in to issue a statement saying that he wanted Catherine, more than anything else, to be left alone,” said Lipscomb.
I can’t believe that’s an actual documentary title but it’s going to come back to haunt them because they are already showing obvious cracks in that house of cards.
I applaud him. There is very little that I can say that hasn’t been said before, but Harry really is his mother’s son. He has her compassion, her ability to relate to others, and her courage. He is really out there screaming to the world that the BM was trying to kill Meghan like they did his mother. I sincerely hope that they continue living their best lives, being happy and being there for each other.
I’m sorry, am I the only one STILL worried that history could repeat itself? That family is absolutely incandescent with rage over Harry and Meghan just breathing. I know they live in California, so there’s less danger to them, but I don’t trust The Firm one bit.
Its why they refused her to get help. If she killed herself the firm could wash their hands of that. Now, if they succeed and she ends up dead, we have these clips to fall back on. It will be the end of the monarchy
Yup. They wanted her dead. 300 years ago, they would have sent both her and Harry to the guillotine in order to protect the throne. The queen’s own grandfather allowed his Russian cousins to be slaughtered in order to save the British throne as other European houses fell. Killing to protect the crown is recent history for these people. And that’s not even getting started on the conspiracies swirling around Diana’s death.
Of course you’re not the only one. The Squad has been saying this all along before Harry did here. One Celebitchy already said months ago they wanted Meghan to miscarry or even die. If we can sense and deduce that, Harry must have felt it a million times worse since he was directly in that game.
or all of them when they were in Canada…
I lived through all this in the 90s. The pattern is eerily similar. I just can’t believe that Baldingham stood there and read a speech that called his own mother paranoid!!! Who does that. He is even more ruthless than his father. Kate had better watch out. No wonder she looks scarily thin. There. I said it.
The more they are out there, the safer they are. I think that’s part of why they will keep giving interviews and speaking their truth. Every time the palace comes out (through surrogates of course) with another “theory” of reconciliation, or Harry regretting anything, they will come out with another interview.
The palace only has power through rumor and speculation. As long as Harry stays out there, they have nothing!
I have watched a few episodes and while it’s not all about Harry and there are other good stories to watch, what I did gather is that Harry is willing to do a lot to protect Meghan and his children to break the cycle he was in. William has not done this and then seeing that dumb video calling Diana paranoid just shows how far gone he is and I actually feel bad for Kate, because William is not going to protect her or his kids from the endless media scrutiny. He is going to protect the institution which he sees as being the same as himself.
There are three rules when it comes to dysfunctional families
1. Don’t talk
2. Don’t trust
3. Don’t feel
And these are true whether you live in a palace or a shelter or somewhere in-between. Breaking the cycle of abuse and dysfunction is hard, but so so worth it, and I’m so pleased to see another human being do it, do it publicly and do it in a way that exposes all of the toxicity to the disinfectant that is sunlight.
Daily Mail has succeeded in conjuring up psychos like Sean Hannity and the Trumptard brain dead followers against Prince Harry. They deliberately took a small part of Harry’s comment saying the First Amendment is bonkers and ran with it.
No, they have centuries old history of being beyond awful and deadly. His father and brother are very suspect to me, and the itty bitty boundaries they do have because sausage is still alive. After that, they should cease contact, I would. Keep them in prayer
Wow. Amazing. They’re strong and admirable people.
When he said they’re not going to stop until she dies…. chills down my spine. I said it plenty of times myself but to hear it so candid out of harry’s mouth was really chilling.
Glad he said it outright. It had to be said. They had to be called out.
Also, when he said he looks in his sons eyes and wondered if he would end up raising his son alone like his father had to raise him. That statement made me cry. I had tears flowing in all 3 episodes I watched. I had to take a break. What they have been through is appalling, and The FIrm and media need to be held accountable.
I too had to take a break as I’m a sensitive person but yeah the tabloids are asking for blood Harry and Meghan received death threats but they still won’t stop attacking Meghan
there is a guy sitting prison for 4 yrs cause he threaten to kill harry.https://www.scmp.com/news/world/europe/article/3015155/neo-nazi-teens-jailed-uk-after-threatening-kill-race-traitor
They absolutely were never going to stop in the UK until Meghan was dead. That’s terrifying to think about. They still aren’t going to stop but at least now there is a country and an ocean between her and them, and she has the support of major figures here in the US.
I’m planning on watching a few episodes of this today if I can and then a few more tonight. I can’t wait but I have a feeling it’s going to be very emotional so not sure if it’s something I can watch while getting work done or not.
I agree – the press is/was forcing history to repeat itself. Certain parts of the BM get away with murder (literally) and the gov doesn’t have to balls to deal with how out of control and rabid they are. Morgan and Wootton are just disgusting evil people and they are just the tip of the rot.
I agree that they weren’t going to stop until she was dead. Remember, all of those RRs knew she was struggling. They knew she was seeking mental health care and they continued to attack her relentlessly. They had explicit or implicit permission from the firm to do so. They all wanted her dead and going by King Joffrey’s antics about his own mother, he probably wanted her dead the most.
I have watched the first two episodes and it not something you want to watch while doing other stuff. And all the stories are good, it’s just that the Harry stuff is getting more media play right now.
I started the first episode during my lunch break, and you’re right, I def can’t do other stuff while watching it. I only got about 20 minutes in because I could tell it was going to take a while to process each episode. I also cried 8 minutes in, so you know, its going to be a mess for me, lol.
Something that I did like about it – and I always “like” seeing this – is seeing the actual paparazzi. I think so often we see the pictures from the paps, but when you think about trying to walk or drive through a crowd of 20, 30 photographers shoving at you, trying to get the best shot, etc – its unnerving seeing it from the outside, and actually seeing them in action. That was the part that got me in the beginning – seeing what they had to deal with every.single.day and that the paps NEVER left her or the kids alone.
I watched the first two episodes. It’s hard to watch, I cried for these people. I will continue later. Bless them all.
He has embodied Invictus. He has embodied courage by trying to break the cycle and calling these wretched bastards out. He is a better father and husband by miles away. Shame on you Charles, shame on the tabloids, shame on the UK, shame on the rota system, shame on the illusion of charity work by the royals. Harry is the real deal. Harry is the modern man and a compassionate human!
Yes. And he is honoring Diana in a far more meaningful way than a statue could ever do by living a life outside of palace walls.
Based on their two reactions to the ruling yesterday, there’s no way Harry is coming back for the statue. They’re just wildly far apart in the fundamental understanding of their mother, her struggles, and her death.
I hint if he does fly back for the statue unveiling, it will be because HE wants to and it will be on his own terms. I’m not invested in whether he goes or not, that’s for him to decide. His life is his to live, not mine or anyone else so wholly unconnected to him. However, just like his grandfather’s funeral, I think — if he goes — Harry will behave and interact in a way that is acceptable to him, not them. He’s no longer anyone’s puppet. He’s now his own man.
LowCountryLady, wonderfully said! I completely agree.
Breaks my heart. So grateful he is brave enough to be honest about his struggles. He and Meghan will make a huge difference in so many lives.
Harry has all Diana’s strength, times ten. Very interesting to hear the exact kind of thing that Charles would say to Harry about royal life–it was like that for me so it’s going to be like that for you. Here come the articles saying William took offense that he does not care for his kids by making them stay in the royal family. But it’s the truth. Harry’s love is deep and well-directed.
Actually, I thought it was part of William and Kate’s shtick that their kids would be raised “normally” and they were such a “normal family”. If that were true the Cambridges should be all for what Harry is saying because it’s basically what they claim to believe. If royal life were not so ” toxic” then they wouldn’t be pushing their regular-degular narrative so hard.
It’s amazing that he said it, and I’m so glad he did. Break the cycle, break the wheel.
And isn’t what he did what all parents should do: break the cycle and break the wheel? I was brought up to believe every generation tries to make it better for the next.
Me, too, Seraphina.
It’s funny, that’s not how I was brought up, but I’ve lived that way since I had my now 33yo kid.
I find it very weird that the photographers who took photos of Diana in the back of the car were not prosecuted. Some of those images were sold and published, so the publications must know who took them. The anger that Harry and William must feel over that alone would tip most people over the edge.
I don’t know how old are you, but I remember Diana and how HUGE she was, my mum is the Dianalooney of the family, at the time women all over the world looked up to her, and she was chased to death, photographers, tabloid were obsessed with her like they are still obsessed with Marilyn, if you look at her like this those awful photos unfortunately make sens.
I was in my 20s when Diana died and well aware of how popular she was. The photographers at the scene were investigated for for failing to provide assistance, which is against the law in France, but nothing came of it.
I was a newspaper reporter and working in a local paper newsroom when Diana died and I remember that night so clearly. We kept hearing the updates, minute by minute, that got worse and worse. When the final one came I don’t think there was a person in the room, man or woman, who wasn’t openly weeping. My big strong blustery boss had to leave the room. [not all press is evil..]
Eleonor, I’m a few years older than what Diana would be if she had lived. It was horrifying what the media did to her. But what I first remember about her was her compassion–all of the things that she did to help people. I also remember how determined she was to give her sons real world experience with people of all walks of life. Yes, she was beautiful and the paps were everywhere she went. I can’t imagine how she could even put a foot out of the door most days. I know how devastating it was when she died. One of the best things she did was to show so many others the way to help people in life. She’ll always be known as a light in the world, and there’s is nothing the brf can say or do that will change that. She must be sitting on the cloud in heaven beaming at the type of man that Harry has become. He’s everything she was hoping for her sons to become.
What’s absolutely INSANE is that my mom, to this day, believes all the negative propaganda against Diana. Whenever I bring up how Harry is carrying on her legacy, and how difficult is has been for him to do that on his own terms and with Meghan, my mom automatically comes in with, “well, Diana was certainly not a saint and she was a huge problem.” She won’t listen to the real history of the marriage to Charles, including the fact that he carried on with Camilla from the beginning; that Charles’ and Camilla’s relationship never paused despite their marriages to other people. Her answer? “Well, Diana cheated too, and Harry is most likely not even Charles’ son.” I CAN’T WIN!
It just goes to show you how history can be rewritten by others, especially when a party is not there to defend themselves. And, if it’s repeated enough, people start to truly believe it.
Whew. Find a partner who sees you, loves you and believes in you the way that Harry and Meghan do for each other. I’m so glad they got out and are living their lives in realness and joy.
This is so true. You may have health, work or family problems but a supportive spouse or partner makes a huge difference in coping.
This! I’m honestly so happy for both of them to have found each other. Their love for one another radiates from every interview, every photo.
They each saved each other!
Yes, agree. I like that he mentions they argued. It’s a real relationship where you can be honest. All the 10th anniversary stuff for The Other Brother making out like everything’s perfect is so inauthentic.
It’s a genuinely beautiful, amazing love story. I so dig that about them.
This is such a powerful statement. He has courage in his convictions, that’s for sure. His childhood trauma marked him so profoundly, and yet he is utterly determined to change the narrative.
I’m so glad he met Meghan and that they are building their lives from their home base in Montecito.
They won’t, but if the BRF had any brains or heart at all (they don’t), this would be the moment to listen, really listen, and hear what he’s saying. With the declaration that, “History was repeating itself. My mother was chased to her death while she was in a relationship with someone that wasn’t white. And now look what’s happened. You want to talk about history repeating itself? They’re not going to stop until she dies,” Harry is making it crystal clear that he’s not playing games. Not now, not ever. This is his beloved wife’s very existence and life he’s defending. They won’t be able to manipulate him into changing a thing. And if they keep trying, they will keep failing and it will blow up in their faces, ultimately.
He’s not going to continue with the British royal family romance, nor should he. I’m so proud of him. I wish him and his beautiful family health and safety and love and joy. I wish for them the respect that they so certainly deserve. I wish for them peace,
Beautiful!
Do you know this is the first time I understood the back half…not just the paps chasing, which caused her death, but that she was dating a man who wasn’t white at the time of her death. OMFG mind blown.
My white privilege has blinded me to much in the past but until he said those words, I hadn’t put the back half together w/the front half. It never occurred to me her dating a man who wasn’t white made the target on her back even bigger. Not once.
I am ashamed of not seeing that.
It’s difficult to digest even for a POC so understandable. Also, the man she was dating was not Christian, that mattered too. Meghan is not white, not British with a voice – dangerous in their minds.
I remember the stories at the time about how the future king (William) could not have an East Indian half brother.
LadyD, I remember all of the media at the time, and the speculation about an engagement because Dodi had bought a ring, IIRC. This was definitely a big deal at the time. I have to admit that I never put those two things together, either. Not in a very starkly written way.
And I think if I remember correctly, Diana had also dated another non-white man who was a heart surgeon.
Same here. To all of this.
@ Frida_K
My Mom always said listening and hearing are two very different things. People can LISTEN all they want, but are they really HEARING what’s being said? In this case, of course not. You bring up a very valid and interesting point and said it beautifully
Frida, I also keep thinking about the fact that she’s been pregnant for 18+ months out of a 3 year marriage (Archie, miscarriage baby, baby girl). So he wouldn’t just be losing a wife if she were killed, he would very likely be losing his wife AND a baby at the same time. Archie would be losing a mom and a baby sister. Which just adds a whole other layer of fear and anxiety and potential for grief.
And you are absolutely correct Kaiser, the British media will come for him hard , however he speaks the absolute truth and I am beyond proud of him. I stand with Harry and Meghan
Archie’s hair!!!!
Whaattt? 😲😮😲
My first take away – what a brave and courageous man. Not many people have the strength and will to stand up to their bullies, especially to stand up against the Rupert Murdochs of this world. To have the mindset to say no more to that is such a great endorsement for therapy in general. I wish both of them well in their mental health journey. I hope more people have access to therapy, especially those living in war zones, constantly going through trauma with no end in sight.
If the BRF had any brains THIS is what they would want in a king. Courageous, thoughtful, insightful and intelligent.
They do. Harry and Meghan are everything William and Kate should be but aren’t. They all know it. Diana even allegedly said Harry would make the better King than William. The wrong brother is going to be King, he and Kate will be disasters as Monarchs and everyone knows it.
And the BRF has no one to blame but themselves for refusing to put William in his place and requiring him and Kate to work.
Even 15 year old Leonor of Spain is miles ahead of Cain.
I heard “12- year-old Harry” so hard. I spent 11 years stuck at 14 after my father died (missing for several weeks, body, big local news) and my mother’s response to our questions was to shut it down. I made all the mistakes Harry didn’t ( marrying and having kids before doing the work). If he’s like me, there’s a piece of him that will always be 12, but having the tools, knowledge and ability to soothe and nurture my inner 14-y-o has been transformative. I’ll never be what I might have been, but I’m okay enough to get through. Mad respect for Harry.
Amy T… wow. That must have been so hard to go through. I’m so very sorry. I think that’s the takeaway from Oprah’s series, these stories can help everyone relate to each other and understand themselves better/their reactions to trauma. You are extremely strong and sound like a person very aware of this.
I wish all good blessings to you, AmyT.
God, I’m just so sorry. That is horrifying, I wish you so much peace and love.
Thanks, all. Life is pretty good. I don’t have 15 bathrooms, but I’m okay! I’ve done a good bit of therapy (probably not enough!), and am lucky to be where I am now, even though struggling to write a book (stuck on Chapter 11!) and coming to terms with my own shame over choices I made in the years when part of me knew better but didn’t know how to do better. And balancing being true to my own story at the same time I try to figure out how to talk about a family member who became a beloved public figure but inside the family had her favorites (my mother, my sister, my aunts) and her non-favorites (yours truly). And I am involved in mental health advocacy, because the family secret I dug up 11 years on was that my father’s death was a suicide. On one hand, that was a terrible thing to discover. On the other, it freed me. So I am beyond grateful to Harry for what he’s doing to help reduce stigma around mental health issues, inspired by his actions and wish he and Meghan all good things. (Also, I really want to be friends with Doria.)
I want Doria for a mentor
“part of me knew better but didn’t know how to do better.” This is a lifeline I can use for my sanity. So so many thanks, Amy T.
I’m slightly confused about the therapy bit. At first, it was William who told Harry to seek therapy. Now Harry is saying that it’s Meghan who pushed him to get therapy.
Is this a common misconception in their story, i.e. William is always saying he advised Harry to get some help, but Harry has never confirmed this on his end? Did he stop and Meghan advised him to go again?
Anyways, I’m glad Harry is doing the work, and it’s amazing to see the end-product of this project with Oprah. And w/e the case may be, Meghan is helping Harry work through some demons, and the results are THERE.
William was one of those people telling him he needs help but Harry was ready to hear that or to go to therapy at that time. However, people who wanted to embiggen William heard something else. They heard that William was the one who helped him to seek help. If relisten to the podcast with Bryony Gordon, Harry has been consistent on who he credits will helping to see that he had a problem. It wasn’t William.
That should be “wasn’t ready”.
I think he mentioned in the podcast that when others had told him to get help, he didn’t take the suggestion well. While the intent may have been sincere on William’s part (much side-eye to this), his approach may have been counterproductive. When Meghan suggested the same, the timing, her approach and intentions felt different to him. So while his brother may have suggested therapy to him before, it was Meghan who actually convinced him to take that step.
I think he dabbled a bit in the therapeutic process before he met Meghan. There is a much earlier joint interview/conversation (via phone or radio) with a woman working for a therapeutic group he was raising funds for in which he mentions working on issues. However, I think he is now referring to a decision he made with Meghan’s encouragement to seriously take the plunge and do the hard work on himself. One doesn’t cancel out the other. Many people stick their toe into the therapeutic stream, but don’t fully immerse themselves in it the first time. I don’t think he’s trying to be confusing, I think he’s simply talking here about when he fully engaged.
This makes sense! Thank you!
In one of the episodes he mentions how he had tried different things prior to the therapy he’s now doing but it didn’t work. He also said that some people simply told him “you need to get help” but not in a way that was helpful. I am prepared to believe that William is the one who said “you need to get help” but in an asshole kind of way so Harry didn’t respond to it. (I am sure part of that was because William also needs help himself and has clearly done nothing). So of course William saying this gets turned by the courtiers into William being the benevolent and helping older brother when he was simply being an ass.
Also when William let that story out about Harry being fragile, he blew any credibility he ever had to speak of mental health issues. He needs to fix his own problems before he ever speaks on that issues again. (Frankly Kate does too because she’s not a well adjusted adult herself)
My guess it was more along the lines of, ‘Oh, go talk somebody about it, it is your problem’. Harry once again sugar coating it to try to protect abusive older brother. Another part of the abuse cycle Harry needs to address.
Even if William did tell him to get help, it wouldn’t hold much weight coming from William, who himself needs serious therapy. It’s quite obvious that William has never received any significant treatment and it would explain his constant anger at the age of almost 40 and how he has dithered his entire life with no real purpose.
My guess is that he may have seen a therapist before, but it was 4 years ago that he started the serious work and actually committed to it – it wasnt just like “okay here’s one visit and now I’m done” or “well that one visit was useless so I wont go back” – he actually committed and it made him healthier.
Here’s the thing- When abusers tell their victims “oh, go get therapy!” it’s not they’re truly concerned, it’s an attack. “You’re crazy and I’m right, so you need to go get therapy until you see I’m right!”
It’s statement said not of true concern but a taunt meant to undermine, ridicule, and weaken.
I wouldn’t have gone to therapy if William said it either in Harry’s shoes. Go to therapy then and William has proof Harry’s the broken, unstable “bad” brother. William would have been leaking all about it.
I mean come on, we all know his behavior.
@heyjude
This. 💯 William probably said it in an incredibly dismissive way and assumed the only correct result would be Harry happily falling in line.
@HeyJude, I can definitely relate to this. When I went to therapy on my own volition, my family saw it as a Get Out of Jail Free card: “We’re not in therapy, you are. That means YOU’RE the one with the problem.” Family dysfunction sucks.
You are so totally right. It’s a power play, the other person calling into question your mental health, and it is never meant out of concern. Meghan lovingly telling Harry that he is really not okay and he should talk to someone is completely different from your older brother suggesting you are broken. I am an older sister, and I know for sure how my brothers would take it coming out of my mouth, and we actually like and love each other.
No lies detected. It becomes a go-to way of telling everybody, “Stfu and get help to desensitize yourself to the awful things I’m doing, promoting, or excusing.” Or sometimes, “Get help to fall in line with a more traditional set of values.” Both of these tactics have been perfected by homophobes, misogynists, and racists, so it’s not too surprising to see that some connected with the British royal family can do it. One of the messed up things about that kind of stigmatizing behavior is that the target(s) might actually benefit in some way from help for other things. But in these situations, it’s just another way to avoid accountability and avoid taking what’s happening seriously.
I’ve haven’t finished it but everybody should watch, not only for Harry’s and Oprah’s stories but the others. It is really a compelling and thought-provoking series. If anyone has doubts about Harry, like those who freaked out seeing him talk to Kate and William after Philip’s funeral, you have nothing to fear he’s not going back to that life.
Are they featured throughout the run of episodes in segments, or is there 1 particular episode?
Throughout the series.
I have watched a few episodes and agree with this. This series is more than just Harry. It covers a variety of mental health issues and situations and everyone should watch it. But I wouldn’t binge it. There is a lot to process.
100%. This is a watch a segment and leave it to percolate, not remotely a binge show.
I remember reading that the Sunday morning that Diana died, the boys were told the news of her death and they went to church as usual with the Queen, and there was no mentioning of Diana or the boys or any prayers for them during the service. Nothing. Clergy was likely instructed not to say anything. I still can’t wrap my mind around that.
Harry has said he asked if Diana was really dead because no one had spoken of her death. That’s traumatizing. The family thought they were helping them by doing the stiff upper lip thing, but 2 little boys had lost their Mum and no one was acknowledging that and allowing them to grieve.
I am about to say something I never thought I would ever say, I have sympathy for William, I think he is Messed up and needs the help to, it would be hugely beneficial for him . He has allowed Carole to have way too much power and control of his life. He needs to get help and then use it to ask his brother and his brother wife for forgiveness.
Jinx, @over it! I really wish William could find the strength within himself to seek counseling.
I agree. William and Harry have always been very different and I think we’ve seen that for years – Harry starting charities like Sentebale as a young man (think he was 19? 20?) and then Invictus – William, I dont think, was ever going to be like that, or have the natural charisma and charm that Harry has. But I do think that intensive therapy would help him a great deal. I think it would give him perspective and help him to channel his anger appropriately, rather than always being incandescent.
one of the interesting things is that I do think William sees how toxic the Windsor family dynamics are, to a certain extent – I think that’s part of why he relies so heavily on the Middletons. But I also think that he likes that the toxicity of the Windsors usually plays out to his favor as the future heir and he has learned to work within the Windsor system. And I think he is very Windsor in his views on therapy, mental health (despite all his talk to the contrary) so I think that prevents him from actively seeking that therapy.
THIS. William seems like he’s stretched in many directions, but doesn’t seem to have the clarity or introspection to figure out why.
Becks, I believe you are absolutely correct, I just wish he could be a real man like his brother and be a decent human being. It’s never too late but unfortunately our wishes for him won’t come true because he is obsessed with power and admitting you need help goes against that for him I guess. So sad.
The simple truth is that W dealt/deals with his anger by spewing it outward and wounding others, while H directed it inward. H has turned that pain into action and lifting others while also healing himself which, in itself, it a kind of freedom that W will never know or understand. I would imagine that it broke H’s heart to realize it and know that he couldn’t change it any more than he could change what happened to D, and that despite his love for W, he had to move on for himself and his family. Just very sad for all involved. But we all make choices, don’t we? H made the choice to honor his mother with his statement about BBC/Bashir, while W made the choice to further deny her agency, feelings, and truth. It is, sadly, a metaphor for their lives.
@OverIT – exactly, admitting he needs help would go against his “image” as “an elegant man” (sorry couldnt help it lol.) And that’s the irony, right? because his whole “work” with mental health and football/soccer is about encouraging male athletes to seek help, that there is no stigma to it.
I also think he is actively discouraged from seeking help from the Firm – someone said it either here or on the Bashir thread – that Harry getting help and opening his eyes to the toxicity and damage of the Firm meant that he really had to leave, once you see it you can’t unsee it. And I think they want to keep William blind, so to speak. William accepts the toxicity for what it is, after therapy Harry refused to do so. Of course William could just stay and break the cycle from within, but HE refuses to do THAT.
Totally agree with this. As the spare, Harry was always going to be less than/the afterthought, so he had no illusions that he was going to be someone one that the Firm held up on a pedestal and revered. William gets all of that in spades so it makes it much easier for him to be like, “Yeah, this sucks, but I’m getting the better end of the deal in this situation, so I’ll just roll with it.”
Excellent comment, PAPERCLIP. I agree.
Yes, I felt a twinge, too. He’s so tightly scripted and controlled by the palace – trapped, as Harry said.
I think it may be too late for William. He has been raised to be a narcissist. There is very little hope of finding empathy at his age.
There’s a story about William when he was young – like 8 or 9, which would make Harry like 6? They were at some event and a reporter, just trying to do a fluff piece, asked William, “what do you want to be when you grow up?” And William said he wanted to be a police officer. And Harry interjected really fast and said “You can’t, you have to be King.”
I have sympathy for William insofar as he really has never, ever had much choice in life – he was locked in the second he was born. He has to be king, he has no choice. He’s not going to pull an Edward and abdicate, because frankly even if he wanted to, his brother has made clear that he doesn’t want it either. Harry is commendable for walking away, but he also has a greater degree of freedom to do so. And Harry basically acknowledges that with the “gilded cage” comments.
I honestly don’t understand why there is this fear of “abdicating,” it’s not like the BRF is short of applicants for the top position, if the next few people don’t want it, then it will just go on to the next person. Aren’t there like a 100 people in line for the throne?
3000+ in the known line of succession.
I think William is beyond what therapy can do. I think he has a personality disorder, or a few. He has zero self awareness; he’s like a Trump.
I think Charles has the same narcissistic personality disorder.
I actually felt the same watching the first few episodes. I still think he’s a jerk, but we know where it comes from based on how Harry was explaining their life as kids. The main difference is that William has never sought the help and likely never will. His spouse dedicated her life to becoming a part of the system and so she won’t support him to break the cycle. He’s on his own really and surrounded by people who will just use him.
Nic, that is one of the things that makes the split with Harry so sad. William pushed away probably the one adult person in the world who had his best interests at heart and wasn’t obsessed with pleasing the system. Now who is left?
“his spouse dedicated her life to becoming a part of the system” – bingo. Great way to explain the differences between them. Meghan supported Harry when it came to breaking the cycle. can you see Kate doing the same if William told her he wanted to walk away from his role?
I said in another post that William married his projection but I think a better way of saying it is that he married his trauma. Now he’s surrounded by all of these people who live comfortably off of and perpetuate it. Whether he can’t of refuses to see it idk. Right now, the only ones I feel sorry for are his children because what they learning from all of this?
@over it I think it’s quite possible that Carole had the Prince William dream as early as 1982. She groomed her daughters. She’s a huge narcissist and perhaps used William’s general intellectual and emotional vacuity to “gas light” him into believing that the Middleton’s interpretation of royalty is the way it should be. I think she is the person behind the curtain. And Kate is just one of her “flying monkeys”.
I think William is brainwashed what he said about Martin Bashir is the reason for everything that happened to his mother her paranoia, isolation& breakdown, and it’s the reason Charles divorced well why the family& his father didn’t help her if she had sunk that deep? You simply don’t abandon someone you love.. he needs help he is too controlled by the firm& right-wing tabloids.
I am right there with you, Over It. I will always be on Harry and Meghan’s side of this debacle, but it’s really obvious that William could not possibly be even a little bit okay, and that makes me sad.
This is so, so sad, and worrisome for their safety. Stalkers are already trying to get into their CA home. And please don’t yell at me, but it makes me sad for William too because he experienced a lot of the same emotional traumas but has never been allowed to process it or encouraged/supported by his partner as Harry now has been. Now look at the Incandescent Rage Monster he has become. I’m glad that Harry has finally found the support he needs and the courage to try, and I wish him peace.
It really puts into perspective when Harry said his brother and father are trapped. Not just by the media and the institution, but in state of mind. Harry put in the work to free his mind before physically removing himself and his family from that toxic environment. William showed how trapped he is with that statement he released yesterday (not derailing to that discussion – just making a point). It’s amazing that Harry found his way out of that mindfck of a maze. He is continuing where is mother left off but better prepared for the journey.
I was struck by the difference in tone of Harry’s and William’s statements yesterday. William coldly referring to Diana as ‘My mother’ (excluding Harry) and Harry warmly using ‘Our mother’ (including William).
This clearly signals to me that William has distanced himself fully from Harry and that Harry wants to remind William of the time when they both felt the same love and pride for their amazing mother.
While Harry is clearly growing and transforming into his better Self, William is not even aware that he has his own simmering childhood trauma to deal with. He is still covering it up with rage. I hope he finds the courage to heal one day.
I applaud Harry for breaking the toxic family cycle of trauma and his efforts to make the world a better place from a deeper understanding of human suffering and strength. I also applaud Meghan for loving and supporting him along his journey. They both are truly inspirational!
Wow
I might have to get Apple TV, just so I can watch this.
You can get a 1-week free trial and then they charge you $4.99/month. Even if you do it for a month so you can spread it out over a few weeks, it’s definitely worth the $5!
H and M are teaching and reaching so many people, exposing the danger of narcissism in its extremes. It’s true, narcissists will put you in harm’s way when you advance in your healing to this level of truth telling. It can be a very dangerous time, while paradoxically, you are creating safety and wellness for yourself by telling the truth of what has happened or is still happening to you.
Media and monarchy will lose their minds over this naming of racism. It’s not only that Dodi and Meghan both aren’t white and seen as disposable, it’s that Diana and Harry are seen as race traitors by white people who wanted to possess them.
OMG, exactly this. You are hitting some core truths there, and giving me all the feelings.
Diana was in a car crash because the media pursued her relentlessly and dangerously so….. it has literally NOTHING to do with her dating someone who isn’t white at the time and tough I have sympathized with al that Harry has gone through…. this is just such bullshit I cant even…..
How do you know? This is her son telling you. I would think he understood and knew more than we do what actually happened.
The way Meghan has been treated by the British press and by the firm, I understand the similarities made by Harry. Would the media pursuit of Diana that summer been as intense if she was dating a white man? We will never know but I remember the headlines from that summer. I never imagined it would end with her death.
Diana was vilified for dating non white men though & didn’t they say she never spoke to her mother again because her mother didn’t approve of her Muslim partners. The press had a toxic obsession with Diana & that pursuit caused the conditions of her car crash.
Meghan is being pursued& villified & Harry castigated because of being in a mixed race relationship & their toxic obsession with Meghan almost brought her to a painful end. I think that’s what he’s pointing to.
I have always felt empathy for William & felt sad for him for him yesterday because he probably has complicated feelings about his mother’s interview & now can try have it brushed under the carpet claiming she didn’t know what she was saying . It’s also probably really complicated that he has to shore up the institution that caused his mother pain because that’s his future. Now hearing they didn’t have any real grieving support after Diana died & I wouldn’t be surprised if William is really hurting & these alleged rage issues are the manifestation of that
Being an old, I remember the complete media freak out re: Dodi Al Fayed and the racist narrative around him touching the “People’s Princess,” with him being Egyptian and Muslim. I remember tabloids calling Diana a whore like the day before her death.
You being ignorant of the times surrounding Diana’s death is your problem, not Harry’s cross to bear.
I remember too, tabloid where there were photos of Diana in a swimsuit on Dodd’s yacht I think with a little bit of tummy pooch and the article was incredibly offensive hand-wringing about “what if she is pregnant and the future king of England has to deal with a Muslim half-sibling.”
Haylie and Chaine, I remember it exactly as you both said. Folks might try to rewrite history, but plenty of us were there and saw the whole thing go down in real time.
Haylie & Chaine, I’m with Sid on this. I remember quite well, so YEAH don’t try to shade this. Too many of us lived through it and we know.
@Haylie et al., Absolutely. I remember well all the pearl-clutching over the fact that Diana was seeing a non-white, non-Christian man, and it was definitely implied, if not outright stated, that she was somehow “sullying” the BRF by doing so.
I remember her death but I had not been following any press coverage of her so I didn’t know this. I know his father said the family didn’t want Diana dating his son because of his ethnicity/religion, and he openly suspected them of being involved. I don’t know if they were involved or not, but it is definitely true that they did not approve, and that the media was all over it and that was the main cause of her death, being chased by paps.
I am amazed at all the people saying Harry is being paranoid, or making a big fuss over nothing, or downright lying. He lived this. He experienced it, was a witness to all of it, from childhood until he finally got out. Who is anyone who has no way of knowing what was happening behind the scenes to question Harry on this? He knows what happened, and they don’t, because they were not there. That’s why they needed to speak out, and do it on their own terms.
They even disliked Dodi’s father for buying Harrods because they didn’t want a non white person owning a British institution. The racism was obvious to see in the 90s when it was happening.
Ann
Diana was courting the press for weeks up until her death. She told them she would reveal something Big! And Dodi’s father enjoyed the press attention on them to the point he’d reveal their locations.
This was a perfect storm and crazed paps. It wasn’t mainly because she was seeing a non-white man.
Nic
Diana was used by others her whole life. Dodi’s father was no different. He wanted his proximity to Diana plastered everywhere. There was racism all around. Who to exploit. Who to keep away.
@ Wiglet Watcher If she courted them and revealed things why would they find it necessary to chase her for a photo? Is there video or proof that she said anything to them or is this the press, after the fact, trying to blame Diana?
@Yeah, you don’t get to say whether what Harry is saying about HIS OWN MOTHER is accurate or not. He’s in way more of a position to speak on what happened to her than you (or any of us).
Why was the media pursuing her so relentlessly and dangerously, though? And why does the media pursue Meghan so relentless and dangerously, to the point where she can barely leave her house, even in Montecito to drop off her son at preschool? That’s the parallel Harry is trying to make.
@Yeah it has everything to do with racism. The British and other European monarchies are institutions of white supremacy and colonialism. That is how they stole their wealth. There was a lot of hatred of Dodi in the UK for the audacity of dating Diana as a white aristocrat and Royal. Diana was called a whore by her mother for dating a man who was Muslim and the Daily Mail and other media were ecstatic to print that slur about her and whip up the racist public’s fury at her for dating someone who wasn’t white. Racialized people know how society often has a casual response to our deaths I don’t think it’s unreasonable to assume that if Diana had been with someone white, the media at the scene might have seen her as more worthy of saving and have tried to help her after the crash..
I knew of all those articles also, yet never connected the dots till Harry said it out loud. I read those articles, thought to myself “idiots” and am ashamed to admit, just left it there.
Harry lived it, so he knows what he is talking about.
The same race baiting Meghan is getting happened to Dodi.
Ok, I’m trying to imagine the if the BM would have bleated the same way about Diana dating some aristo named Bendict or Algy or something as they did about her and Dodi, and based on their behavior toward the Keens vs H&M, I’m laughing with disbelief that Dodi’s skin color didn’t play a part in the pap’s relentlessness.
The paparazzi’s relentlessness existed before Dodi, it existed after. That doesn’t mean there wasn’t racism behind how she was treated in this specific period, but it didn’t really change anything in terms of the relentlessness, either.
@Betsy, yes it did exist. But I truly believe the *who* Diana was dating when she died played into the level of relentlessness during that period (it was amped up to 11, and I remember it well). We have the actual way the BM approached Will and Harry’s girlfriends as a roadmap to follow. They’ve not always been nice to the white girlfriends (Waity Katie for example), but they have been outright frothing at the mouth with outrage over Meghan since almost the beginning. Like Meghan said, there’s rude and then there’s racist.
Dodi was not only non-white, he was non-British. The Al-Fayed family was looked down upon by the aristocracy and their press as arriviste, not-quite-our-class, corrupting Harrod’s with their crass new money. Remember Diana had a much longer relationship with Hasnat Khan who was also non-white, but it didn’t cause the breathless, sensationalist coverage that her dating Dodi did, because Khan was British (enough) and seen as dignified (enough). He was a serious guy who actively avoided the spotlight. If they’d been more public I’m sure the knives would have come out, but in contrast Dodi’s reputation was that of a flashy, purposefully attention-seeking playboy. That played right into the hands of the BRF and press who wanted to smear post-Royal Diana as frivolous and déclassé as well. Was there racism at play? Hells yes there was and it’s absurd to claim otherwise. But there was also a complicated intersection of othering by nationality and class that is uniquely British and makes the parallel with Meghan’s treatment even more apt.
Lionel, Thank you! Your explanation helps to see the problems. I know she dated Khan, but I don’t remember there being the vitriol that there was when she dated Dodi. So many layers, and in all of it racism was very front and center.
@Lionel, yes, absolutely, Dodi being non-British played a part as well (as I believe it does with attitudes toward Meghan).
But wasn’t Diana’s relationship with Khan much less out of the spotlight? I don’t remember learning about her relationship with H Khan until after her death, while her relationship with Dodi was front and center leading up to the tragedy in Paris. I’m American, so if there was anything in the BM about it, it may not have made it to our shores back then the same way the Dodi stuff did.
I’ve been focused on the media’s attitudes toward Meghan and Dodi, which is why I’m asking about any media attention in relation to Khan. But, yes, I believe the reaction from the firm and Windsors behind the palace walls was absolutely influenced by nationality on top of skin color/religion.
@Yeah, the media interest in Diana and Dodi was outsized, in part, because he was Muslim. Try again.
Diana was in a car crash that didn’t need to happen. If she had security perhaps they would have been driving, and driving at normal speeds not a drunk driver creating a chase by trying to outrun paparazzi.
@Yeah – I’m old so I remember the public furor when it was discovered Diana was dating Dodi al Fayed, a Muslim. I also remember how offended the British public were when it was discovered she’d had a previous relationship with a Muslim heart surgeon. This IS all about racism. Diana was even quoted as saying how angry the “Firm” would be when they found out she was seeing a “black” man. That the racism continues to this day and people actually threatened the life of Harry’s wife and child is sickening and so is your comment.
Yeah is a troll. Let’s not engage. The trolls are going to be coming out and showing up here. Mental health is too important a subject to engage trolls.
Such a troll. “I was on Harry’s side until he mentioned race. Now that is TOO MUCH.”
OH PLEASE. Take your ignorance somewhere else. I am old enough to remember the disdain Diana faced for dating non white men. How her own mother stopped talking to her because she didn’t approve her dating Muslim men. The speculations regarding the Future King having a mixed race sibling (!!!!) and you dare question her own SON??
You are a troll, of the worst kind.
She was even called a whore by her own mother the evidence is here
https://twitter.com/KateWilliamsme/status/1395841061822648321/photo/1
Cee
This isn’t a personal attack on you. Your comment is a bit OTT. You’re putting words in their mouth.
Talking openly about going to therapy and it’s benefits does more for mental heath than any of the outreach programs W and K do.
Men desperately need to see therapy normalized.
I’m so freaking proud of Harry. What a great role model.
Wow, just wow. I watched 2/3 of the 1st episode last night (I only stopped because it got late) and it was really riveting. I wasn’t sure what it would be like but between Harry’s honesty, and the stories of the other interview subjects (Lady Gaga….my God), if the rest of the episodes are like this they truly hit this out of the park.
And that quote of Harry’s — “History was repeating itself. My mother was chased to her death while she was in a relationship with someone that wasn’t white. And now look what’s happened. You want to talk about history repeating itself? They’re not going to stop until she dies.” I have full on chills. He is 100% spot on, and I really admire him for giving them all the double middle finger and making it quite clear he will not be silenced or bullied by any of them any longer.
The guilt Harry must feel over Meghan must be unbearable at times.
She had a great life before meeting Harry–career success, friends, money, freedom. She gave up everything to marry Harry. She gave up her freedom, her career, she was isolated from friends, probably lost access to her own money for a time. And what did she get in return? I media campaign designed not only to make her leave by any means necessary, but also a media campaign, openly supported by the family that was was joining, to utterly break her completely. They didn’t just want her gone. They wanted her shamed, disgraced, broken, penniless. Why? For having the gall to marry a man the media and his family thought was “too good for her.”
This past 4 years and everything in it happened because of her love for Harry. And what did she gain? Not wealth–she already had it. And the royal family begrudged every penny spent on her, and it’s likely that had they stayed, they would have had to scrounge for every cent from Charles and William. They wanted to create another Fergie out of her–someone desperate for money who they could control through money. Meghan was better off financially, socially, career-wise before she met Harry. The only thing she gained was the love a good man. That’s priceless. Harry is a much better man than his family and his country’s media realize. Had he been the dimwitted cad they thought, he could have left Meghan high and dry, destroyed her life, and been welcomed back to the fold as “our silly little Harry.” Thank God for Meghan he’s a better man than that. He created this insanity in her life, and to his credit, he took responsibility for it, owned it, and took care of her the way a husband should. Like Amber Ruffin said: He cared more about being her husband than England’s prince, and good on him for that.
Taking ownership of his own life must feel so liberating for him. It’s the only way to assuage that guilt, especially since he didn’t create this crazy ownership the media feel they have over him. As for the backlash, he and Meghan both know it’s coming. It isn’t anything new. They have lived with it for 5 years now. They have put their life with the royal family in the past, and now they can move forward with a clean slate. Harry cut that cord. The British media will try to pretend it didn’t happen, and pretend that he is still pining away for his family, blah blah blah. But the world will see them doing amazing things, living a great life with their family. Harry and Meghan are the great love story of our age. There have been so many obstacles to their relationship, and they have faced down every one. The world loves a good love story, and this is one for the ages. They have subverted the traditional fairy tales about princes and princesses and created something entirely new and modern.
I think this is part of the reason why he’s putting himself out there so forcefully. I think mental health has always been a cause very close to his heart, but I think watching what Meghan went through, his feelings of utter helplessness, his own journey and ability to recognize the gravity of the situation, put a new urgency to it. Harry is a man on a mission. He has laser focus right now on this cause of mental health and social media. I think Meghan is spearheading more of the WCK activities because they are causes she’s long supported— food insecurity; P&G supported her commitment to women’s rights, particularly supporting low income women.
It strikes me that after the interview, compared to Harry, Meghan hasn’t spoken much publicly about her own mental health (or publicly at all). I think it’s still too raw and she’s recovering— it has barely been a year(?) and what she went through isn’t something you just bounce back from and sharing. And she doesn’t need that public scrutiny. A lot of insight we’ve been getting on Meghan’s mental health at the time they were in the UK has been through Harry.
I can’t think of a better analogy— it seems almost like, in addition to advocacy, Harry is deliberately painting a target on HIS back in hopes of defeating the narrative that Meghan radicalized him, that if it weren’t for her he’d still be in the paradise of jolly olde England. He wants the record to be clear and he cannot put it in plainer terms: this was his decision, 100%. Every single step. The only way to fight years upon years of lies that have been blasted at top volume is to be just as loud, just as pointed, and repeat it over and over and over until it sticks. And it’s clear he still has deep, deep fears that some harm might come to Meghan. He’s the one who gets the goddamn security briefings.
I think Harry has always wanted to be more visible, outspoken, and free to advocate for his causes. But this is personal. This is about his wife and child. It lends a different edge to it, a forcefulness and fervor and kind of sheer determination that he will MOVE THE WORLD if that’s what it takes to keep his family safe.
All this is true, and one other thing at this moment – Meghan is pregnant. And he is definitely doing all he can to not let THAT history (the way she was treated whilst pregnant with Archie) repeat itself. He is a standup guy and a role model and, dare I say, a *real* prince. And I mean that last in every sense of the word.
@LaraW – agree completely. Harry is going to repeat himself until they stop lying, which means he’s going to be repeating himself for quite some time unfortunately – he’s making it as clear as possible that this was HIS choice, that HE is the one who said “lets do this”, that HE is the one who chose to step back.
Yes, totally agree with all this. I think the reason we are not hearing much from Meghan at this point is because they are aware that she is still very much a lightning rod — unfair as it is, she is still getting the brunt of the blame. But Harry is standing up and showing the world that he’s got this now — he is truly her knight in armor who will go the lengths he has to in order to protect her, when he wasn’t able to go the distance before. She’s also still very much in healing mode, I would imagine. The woman deserves to gestate in peace and she is doing just that.
Totally agree @Lanne and @Laraw. And hearing that Meghan was crying herself to sleep as recently as February is both heartbreaking and frightening. This isn’t over for them. I hope she feels safe and is getting the support that SHE needs now and for the road ahead. My admiration for the stand that they’re taking, together and individually, knows no bounds.
Ianne so eloquent with your words.
@Ianne, your comment is perfect! I have been thinking about Meghan’s situation a lot ever since the interview. She gave up everything for love of this man – not the prince, the man – and has paid a high price for it. Harry is going to spend every day for the rest of his life protecting her and making her life as wonderful as possible, because I think he has massive feelings of guilt about how her life spiraled downward. Those two were totally committed to each other, but if he hadn’t gotten them away from that nuclear waste dump of royal life and the media, I honestly don’t see how they could have stayed married. I think he knew that, too. He is one hell of a good man.
And he’s showing the world the thing the racists hate the most: black women don’t exist just to be supporting characters in white peoples stories. We don’t exist just to be servants, best friends, sidekicks, sex objects, teachers of lessons, mother figures, entertainers, loudmouths, objects of scorn or ridicule. A black woman deserves love. A black woman deserves to be protected. A black woman deserves support, kindness, self actualization. A black woman deserves to be cherished by her partner. A black woman deserves to exist at the center of her own life story.
Most reasonable people would say that all women deserve this, but many of those same people think, consciously or not, that “women” means “white women.” Harry has dealt with years of vitriol for openly demonstrating how much he loves, cherished, supports, and values his wife. He is showing the world that her life matters. Their family matters. In a world where non white people are shown over and over again, implicitly and explicitly, that our lives matter “less” if they matter at all, Harry’s advocacy for his family is a powerful affirmation.
So powerful, and he speaks very clearly and simply about it all, which makes it even more powerful I think – I am so glad they got out alive as well. The BRF and their toxic sycophants have so much to answer for.
Every time I read about how the rota rats are going on about how Harry’s behavior is straining his relationship with his family, I wonder how long and what it will actually take for them to realize that he has vastly outgrown them mentally (and financially, since his wealth is now independent of the constraints royal life imposes), and that he is not going back. Ever. There will be no Harry crawling back ashamed and alone. That is a fevered fantasy of a bunch of racist, elite snobs.
Alexa, play Taylor Swift’s We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together, on repeat.
Yeah, Harry knows what impact his words will have on his relationship with his family. He knows what he is doing and is okay with that.
Part of me thinks he has tried to have conversations about this (his journey, his mental health struggles, his issues) with both his father and brother over the years and has been repeatedly shut down. So now he’s getting his message to them and the whole world.
My Alexa is playing “For My Sake” by Shinedown on repeat lol
Harry said what he said, dropped the mic and he is out. Good luck BRF.
I’m taking you on
I’m calling you out
There’s nothing left
For us here now
Let’s be honest
I promise
I’m never looking back
For my sake
For my sake
When the family in question is a nest of narcissistic entitled vipers and you’re the scapegoat, losing that relationship is a good thing. All he and Meghan are going to miss out on is bullying and abuse.
They’ve blazed a trail for escaping that hellish institution, which may be a lifeline for the next generation.
I’m going to be busy over the next few days so I won’t be able to watch the show in its entirety just yet (I plan too however) but there are some really good eye opening revelations here. He’s definitely 100% done with the firm. Notice I said firm and not family. He obviously still loves his grandma and probably also loves his father and brother but as just that – his father and brother. But he’s over the the courtiers and the palace politics
I’m so proud of Harry for telling his truth and for putting the RF and media on blast. Some may say it’s dangerous but Harry is smart. He served two tours in the military and grew up in this system, he understands it. Diana didn’t have security when she died, Harry has security ( and I’m sure it’s the best money can buy) Him doing this is will open a conversation.
I feel so bad for Meghan. There are numerous stories of royals throwing things at staff and speaking horribly to them but Meghan sends an email at 5am and it labeled a bully. I have noticed that since the Oprah interview aired the story has died down. They probably had no idea Meghan was going to go there and admit she felt suicidal. For Meghan to deal with this while pregnant ( and your hormones are already all over the place) is cruel.
I’m praying for her and Harry.
@Ginger
Rest assured, M’s legal team is NOT allowing it to “die down.” A legal letter was sent to BP immediately after the libelous “bully” claims were made in The Times. The last we heard, BP had foisted the letter off to CH for them to find “evidence” of their claim as M’s lawyers had demanded. Then next thing we knew, the infamous, garbage man Jason Knaufe had tendered his resignation. Thats NOT going to be enough for M. They have to clear her name. This matter will not be laid to rest until BP/CH or whomever, apologises to M and withdraw their bully claims.
But as we know, the royals dont apologize. Also, they are above the law in the UK, right? So i’m VERY curious to see how this turns out.
I’m so enraged. If theres one thing the royals are known for, its their supercilious attitude to underlings. They are bullies to the bone. And yet they have the gall, the temerity to publicly announce theyre going to INVESTIGATE claims of bullying by the first black royal in modern history???!!! And this isnt racist???!!!
I wonder if they are going to make Valentine Low out to be the fall guy (the one who wrote the story the week of the oprah interview). He takes the blame, says he was fed bad information from Jason (who sadly has left, we cant get in touch with him, its just so unfortunate all around, no forwarding address at all) etc.
But would a paper like the Times be willing to print a retraction? It seems to me it would be more to their benefit to spin it that KP was vindictive and was acting out, Jason was trying to protect his bosses, and how messed up is that??? rather than say “sorry, we got bad intel.”
It’s incredible to be so happy for people I don’t even know. That’s Harry and Meghan. They make you care because you see they wear their hearts on their sleeves. You feel their warmth and that they really enjoy doing good.
I never once cared for Kate or William (or any other royal) like this. Some curiosity sure. But none of them have Harry’s and Meghans charisma. You can definitely feel that they were the happiest when Harry wasn’t shining and was self doubting and harming himself. What kind of family is that that tells its own to dim their light?
I feel so so happy that they are safe and loving their best lives. They ARE already changing the world for better!
I haven’t read all the comments. But I am so proud of Harry for his personal growth around race and racism. He’s out here speaking on it- which so many people who claim to be allies don’t do. We don’t need allies- we need people to act. He’s acting and doing. People want to hang on to crap he did in his 20s but he’s demonstrating how far he has come and it is beautiful to see. He is 1000 percent right in what he is saying. I hope this is seen all over the UK- especially by the other brother and his try hard wife
Those are facts, and everyone knows them. Everyone has their thoughts/suspicions. But … when Harry says them aloud … those not inconsequential details take on a whole new level of meaning.
William and Harry, were/are both incredibly f’d up humans as a result of their childhood and adult trauma.
Harry escaped with his and his family.
Thank God.
William. Ugh. Kate. Ugh. Not fond, but it does make me realize how this affected him and he’s essentially trapped.
I’m so happy for Harry and his family!
I haven’t read what anyone else said yet because I just need to say that I am just so very, very proud of this man. How can anyone watching this situation not understand how incredible these two people (Harry and Meghan) are? How incredible Harry is to go so boldly forward knowing what they’re up against. I have to believe that the universe will continue to protect them from the worse. I have to believe that this time that 1000 year old institution will not win. They will not get to sit back and say, “it was a tragic solution to the terrible problem.” If Harry isn’t the perfect endorsement for mental health advocacy, I don’t know who is.
‘i am not going to bullied into silence’
Thats exactly what toxic people do, they dont want the word to get out about their character and what theyve done.
As if i couldn’t like harry more. they really are removing the distance members of an institution like the royals have from the rest of us by talking like this which is why i think others wont get thus personal, they want to maintain that distance as it feels and looks like superiority.
Meghan and harry will certainly help more people this way humanizing mental health, theyre not just giving lip service theyre opening up about their own struggkes. Good foebthem. Seriously they are going to do so much good in their lives with this route theyre on!
I am so happy for HM that they are liberated and have truly found the freedom to talk about their struggles and are moving on. At the same time I am also sad about what they went through and may be subjected to by the BRF and the media who have this insatiable need to tell lies and spin tales about them. I clearly don’t know them personally but still feel for them and wish them nothing but good things. I also feel deep hatred for Thomas Markle as he instigated so much hate against his daughter as well and colluded with the BRF and the rota rats to make her life miserable…..so much could have been avoided if he kept his dirty pie hole shut or supported his own flesh and blood.
If “I said what I said” was a person. Can’t wait to watch the series! We love you Harry! I just want to give him a big hug and tell him that he is loved just like his mother was.
‘Hanging on in quiet desperation is the English way’
My god, I’m shocked (the good kind). I’m so happy and proud he talked and so well, so much, so deeply, really.
And if this isn’t the biggest f-u to the british media “I will never be bullied into silence” I don’t know what is.
Wow, simply incredible. I haven’t seen TMYCS yet, but it looks amazing and very moving. I just have SO much respect for him, and Meghan, to have done what they did. Their strength, ect. Harry is very very brave. My mom is a very….covert narcissist, malignant, super duper high on all narcissism and sociopathic traits, and is a nurse to boot (scary). I was unfortunately the family scapegoat; she is one of those people who wear a mask, what she’s like in public isn’t at all what she’s like in private. Anyway, I had to NC after having kids, the lifetime of abuse was too much to bear, the constant discard cycle, her calling me crazy, disagreeing all the time with reality, gaslighting, turning my sisters against me time and time again, I cut them all off basically because I will not expose my children to that dysfunction, and it was too destabilizing for me, too painful to be treated like that. My point is, what they did is extremely hard to do. People kind of know their story, but when you cut off your immediate family, there’s all kind of blowback at every turn, and I live 3,000 miles away from all of them. People don’t understand, I mean I had to block my mom on social media because I just can’t with her, not even like that…I know it looks bad/crazy, and people don’t ask they just assume, and I’m sure my mother smears me every chance I get, like the royal family and courtiers do to them. I’m not comparing our situations, they’re public figures which is a whole other beast, but it’s very very difficult spiritually, energetically, even physically to take a stand like that and draw a firm (no pun intended) boundary and stick with it. What people experience up to that point to have made them feel that this is the only way, is usually horrendous abuse and toxic behavior, it definitely was in my case, and a lot of people choose not to see it. My mom retired from nursing yesterday, my aunt her sister did a big post on it so I saw it. Everyone congratulating her for being such a wonderful healthcare worker, not going to lie, it hurt to see, even my own best friends, my MIL who I told about the abuse to explain my reasoning to go NC. These hard choices we make out of necessity, despite intensive therapy and self work, will always have a tinge or more of sadness to them. every holiday, every birthday, every special event or milestone in your life, you think about these god awful people, even if you don’t want to. Anyway, I’m really proud of Harry and Meghan, and I’m proud of myself for doing the right thing even though society frowns on it.
I’m proud of you too! Thank you for sharing. I learn so much and gain so much insight from hearing the stories of people here on this site. It just reminds me that celeb watching isn’t just voyeurism. Their lives are a microcosm of so many things we all experience, and their actions are a catalyst for others to reflect on our own lived experiences.
That’s the true importance of the Tale of the Sussexes as it’s playing out in real time. Unlike the Cambridges, Harry and Meghan understand that they have voices they can use in powerful ways as a force for good. As far as the Cambridges have shown us, their only concern is their own entitlement. The monarchy exists to support them and glorify them, and they go through the motions to get the adulation they believe they are owed.
My story is very similar. Everything you said resonates with me. I’m a few years out now and life is so so good. It’s deeply freeing. It was so hard. Jesus. It’s a kind of hard most people can’t imagine or understand. The mentally ingrained ruts of dysfunction. But you left. It only gets better. One escaped goat to another. Hugs.
Good for him. I am loving this.
My 96 year old British and Monarchy loving Nanna, who passed away this week, called exactly that at the time.
She was a white lady in her 70s and she said, the RR and the BM are really going to go after her hard for dating a man that is not white. They will treat her even worse.
If my little old grandma could see that in the 90s, how could anyone deny that in 2021?
Of course race was not the entire issue, just one of many, but don’t think for one second that did not play a part it absolutely did.
Aww so sorry for your loss. 💕
He is an incredible man.
To the credit of his mother and himself and despite the rest of them. I hope he is able to live out happy days with his family in peace.
He’s incredibly brave for speaking out like this and I also think he doesn’t give a **** anymore. They’ve targeted his wife from day one and he kept his silence for 4+ years. There is no need to keep all this bottled up anymore. I’m surprised he’s being as forthright as he is because the other members of the BRF like to perpetuate that stupid aura of mystery. Good for him for sharing with the world what it’s really been like while sharing the mental health journey of others.
Another thing it’s amazing to see Harry acknowledge Dodi al Fayed’s existence and to recognize that there was a racist element to the coverage on Diana just before her death.
I agree! I’m pretty sure he and William didn’t feel very warmly about Dodi but it’s really eye-opening to see him make that connection publically. Good for Harry.
Harry and I are the same age, give or take a month, and I remember imagining what losing my mother would’ve been like at the time and feeling utterly and completely devastated for him (and for William, who is my sibling’s age). It finally struck me today that this has been building for 20 or so years – that he has not been under any illusions as to the role the BRF and media played in his mother’s death and the general shittiness of his life afterwards and that he has just hit the point where he’s prepared to spell it out for those of us in the cheap seats. As a small-r republican, if this ultimately brings the monarchy down, then good riddance. If not, maybe they can emerge from this as a smaller, lower-profile, and less toxic institution (not holding my breath).
Omg, what an insightful, intelligent, sensitive man. His speech about breaking the cycle for his children and losing women in his life is just heartbreaking 🥺
So, no mention of the fact that she chose to get in a car with a drunk driver and chose to not wear a seatbelt. Cool, cool. What the media did to her was terrible, I am not excusing it in the slighted. But she made some very bad decisions too that ultimately led to her death. I wish Harry would also acknowledge that. I was in my early 20’s when she died and the seatbelt thing was what I took from the accident. After that, my Grandma said to me every time I was getting in a car – “fasten your seatbelt, Princess Diana would have lived if she had wore a seatbelt”.
It was Dodi who insisted they move from the Ritz to his apartment. She didn’t know Henri Paul was drunk and again, it was actually Dodi who was exhorting him to drive faster and faster into a dangerous tunnel. Not wearing a seatbelt was a bad choice but she had no choice about the other two issues, in fact she was in tears leaving the Ritz she was so frustrated.
If we’re going to play the blame game it was Dodi who created the perfect storm.
Well, if we’re going to play the blame game, I don’t even think it was Dodi. I think it was his father. From everything I read, Dodi didn’t even really want to date her, his father was pushing him to do it, and arranging all these vacations.
But since the title of this article and everything Harry is saying is expressly blaming the media, I think it’s fair to also talk about the extremely bad decisions she made. She may have been frustrated, but she willingly got in that car with a drunk driver. They were in a hotel. With a room. There was no reason to even leave that night. And she chose not to wear a seat belt. I just think the conversation should be more nuanced than “The Media Killed Her & they were trying to kill my wife too!”
I do like what he has to say about the “Institution” not giving him the support he needed after her death. I thought at the time the way they expected those kids to just go about business like their mother never existed and to walk behind her casket like was terrible. There is not a nurturing bone to be found in that family.
@Brandy Alexander – I don’t know what kind of tin foil hat conspiracy theories you’ve been reading but Diana was friends with the al Fayed family for a long time, her father was a good friend of Mohammed al Fayed. She and Dodi got together while she was on holiday with her sons at a villa in France that his father owns and there was no “arranged” or forced relationship. Dodi was actually besotted with her.
Furthermore, as I stated, she did not know Henri Paul had been drinking, and Dodi insisted they relocate to his apartment because there were too many paps and onlookers at the Ritz and she was upset, as was he. This has been documented. The only thing you can blame her for is not doing up her seat belt.
You are right about Harry’s family not giving him the support he needed to deal with his mother’s death, and it clearly affects him and William to this day. At least Harry is working through the aftermath, unfortunately William isn’t.
@Jaded – I got my “tin foil hat” theories about Dodi from Tina Brown’s book. I just looked again to make sure I was not mis-remembering – She said that Dodi was a playboy, a regular drug user, and was already engaged to a a CK model named Kelly Fisher and the wedding day was set for 8/9/77 – just a couple weeks before he died with Diana – but his dad made him pursue Diana. It’s literally Chapter 1 of the book. She seems to often be used as a source here, so I tend to find her believable…
I just don’t believe she didn’t know he had been drinking. He was literally sitting at the bar where they were dining, and there’s no way she wouldn’t smell it on him. I don’t find the media blameless. I think they were reprehensible to her. I just think the story is more complicated than that.
@Brandy Alexander – I don’t disagree that Dodi was a Hollywood wannabe, playboy and drug user, nor do I disagree that he bailed on his wedding to Kelly Fisher. That’s not the issue here. The issue is that Diana and Dodi were not in the bar drinking with Henri Paul, they were having dinner in an exclusive dining room at the Ritz. They would never have dined or drank with staff, ergo how could she and Dodi have know he’d been drinking? Henri’s whereabouts were unknown until 9:45 when Ritz management called him on his mobile and asked him to return. As deputy head of security at the Ritz, Henri had been asked to take them to Dodi’s apartment to try and avoid the throng of paps out front, and a decoy vehicle left the Ritz first from the main entrance while Diana and Dodi left from the hotel’s rear entrance, trying to avoid the photogs. Henri could very well have used mouthwash or brushed his teeth and if she could smell alcohol on his breath, Trevor Rees – as bodyguard and sitting next to him – certainly would have smelled it and found another driver.
Also, the ambulance staff didn’t treat her for 2 hours – after being removed from the car she went into cardiac arrest and the drive to the hospital took an hour due to continued cardiac arrests where they had to stop and stabilize her. Her heart had been pushed to the right side of the chest from the violence of the impact, which tore a major pulmonary vein. She simply bled out.
I’m so sorry about the loss of your mother at a young age, and I totally understand how that can affect you well into adulthood. I was lucky, both my parents lived to ripe old ages and even then, not a day goes by when I don’t think of them and miss them.
I’ve read over the years and remember from then that the seatbelt was broken/not working and that’s why she wasn’t wearing it.
Because she always wore a seatbelt
I’m sure he thinks about that frequently, he doesnt need to tell us every thought he has about his mother’s death.
But he does feel the need to constantly talk about it and use it as a way of explaining why he thinks the media was going to kill his wife the same way they killed his mom. So, I do think it’s fair to assess that her decisions also contributed to it, which I do not think Harry is recognizing. I think he completely blames the media, and sees red when he even thinks about them. Which is understandable, but also I don’t think completely correct.
She likely wouldn’t have been in that tunnel, with a driver she didn’t know, speeding through Paris, were the paparazzi not harassing and stalking her. Yes, she didnt put on her seatbelt. Yes, the driver was drunk. But they prob wouldnt have even left the Ritz at that point without the paparazzi. The paps took pictures of her as she lay dying. So that’s probably why he blames the media.
And again, just because he talks to us about the media, doesn’t mean he hasn’t gone over every other detail of her death in his mind again and again. It’s not up to us to decide what is “correct” about what Harry shares. And he doesn’t “feel the need to constantly talk about it.” As far as I can tell it was the Tom Bradby interview, the podcast, and now this series.
I think (hope?) we can all agree that outsized media interest was a gale-force wind in the perfect storm that killed Diana. Everything else is just noise, we’re adjudicating without evidence. Nobody will ever know whose decision it was to leave that night. Maybe Diana was distraught and Dodi thought he was gallantly protecting her by moving them. Maybe Diana was entirely in charge, telling Dodi to be quiet, she’s been playing this game for 16 years and knows they’re safer in a private home than a glittery hotel. Maybe they realized too late that Henri Paul was drunk and rather than urging him to go faster one or both of them were pleading with him to slow down. Maybe her seatbelt was sticking and she was tired and tearful and just didn’t want to deal with it this one time. There are only 4 people who know what happened in that car, 3 of them are dead and the remaining one was so injured that he doesn’t remember.
My point is this: the decisions people make in highly-charged, emotional situations are highly-charged and emotional. I don’t think they are ours to judge, particularly when the deciders are no longer around to put them in the context we’d need to truly understand what was going on.
Becks, thank you for your comment. Its so frustrating to read “well, actually” comments like Brandys. Yes, it’s true that a seatbelt could have saved her life. The subject under discussion is not the details of Diana’s final moments. Harry has the right to tell his story in any way he wishes. Just as we all do. This level of ownership people feel over another human being due to the family he was born into is bizarre. Saying how, when, with what words he should tell his own story is another attempt at silencing. It’s a terrible thing to do, and I hope the “let me tell you about your life that I only know about from media” crowd don’t act like this with their own family members and friends. It’s the old “I accept x people so long as they do, say, function exactly as I would were I in their situation” or “I accept them so long as they adhere to a very specific set of conditions I will barely define and can change anytime I see fit”.
It’s a way you can pretend to support someone, or a group, and then move the goalposts at any time so you can keep the vitriol you’re already invested in. Anyone who thinks that there’s a correct way to talk about losing their mother as a child and their own grief process, all of which is occurring on a global stage, can kick rocks.
The big question for me would be If the media weren’t there blocking access by emergency workers would she have lived? Many people survive accidents if they get help. Anybody with any small amount of compassion would have not taken photos and would have gotten out of the way.
See, now THAT is a legitimate question to me. I can see blaming the media in that respect. And taking pics of her as she was dying. I can’t even put into words my feelings on how despicable that was. Also, maybe if they had got her to the hospital sooner instead of trying to treat her on the scene? I get that was their protocol, so I don’t blame the medics, but that always seemed crazy to me.
But do you see what you’re doing here? You’re undermining Harry’s feelings and experiences about the death of HIS MOTHER based on what you consider to be “legitimate” and what you consider to be “acceptable” areas to blame the media. It was his mother FFS. I’m sure he wishes every day she had put on a seat belt.
Ambulance protocols in France are that if a patient goes into cardiac arrest in the ambulance they slow down and carry out life-saving measures to stabilize the patient. That’s what happened to Diana – her postmortem showed a vein in her chest had been ruptured and she was bleeding to death internally. If the ambulance had sped up the bleeding would have worsened from bumps and potholes in the road and speeding around sharp corners.
@Becks, I don’t think I’m undermining Harry’s feelings, I am saying I think he has put all the blame in one place, and I don’t think it’s as simple as that. Clearly we’re not going to agree, and that’s fine too.
@jaded – I thought they treated her on the spot for like 2 hours or something trying to stabilize her? If what you say is correct though, maybe there was no way to save her at all.
For the record, I am very sympathetic to him. I lost my mother at an even younger age than him, and my family was very “stiff upper lip” too. I’m still trying to process some things about it, so I understand his belief that its 100% the media, even if I don’t agree.
How do you know that Harry is putting all the blame in one place? He is explaining why he was anxious around the click of cameras and camera flashes. I have noticed some of the royal events where they were surrounded by cameras and it would make me nervous even without a reason to despise the paparazzi.
It was horrible. The “first responders” were the paparazzi photographing the injured Diana. I think that doctors should choose saving the patient, giving her the best odds, but getting her to the hospital ASAP. Diana’s treatments in the ambulance could not stop the internal bleeding which ultimately killed her. The ambulance sh ould have left her at the hospital ten minutes away and gotten her on the operating table. ASAP. Doctors and equipment could have gotten there to treat her.
@brandy alexender
We read about Diana accident that causing her dead from newspaper and many books written by BM.
We know that sometime investigations by any government will be doctored to cover the truth.
So, harry a military man and a senior royal who is actively searching the truth about her mother will surely able to investigate about diana death.
I believe 100% in harry satement.
Diana did not know Henri Paul was “drunk.” Security Guard Trevor Rees Jones who worked for Al Fayed apparently gave him the “all clear” to take the wheel. Rees Jones is amnesiac from the accident and cannot explain and he is the sole survivor. So it is not reduced to Diana getting into a car “knowing” the man was drunk. Apparently the security guard thought he was not. As for the Seat belts, Diana religiously buckled up something Harry would know. Her own sisters commented to the media that she’d buckle up “religiously”. So I think the belts perhaps did not stretch to fit around her even if they “clicked.” It was an old car just recently deployed after being recovered from a car theft.
Obviously we should wear seatbelts. Seatbelts sometimes fail. Sometimes people are killed in crashes even if they are wearing seatbelts that function properly. There’s just no way to game it out and say a seatbelt would have definitely prevented her death, because it still could’ve gone multiple ways and because the primary cause was the high-speed chase by the press. Diana was clearly under duress from the hounding of the media, and we don’t always make the right decisions under duress. Regardless — she did not deserve to die. I’m not interested in playing a game of blame the victim.
I think Harry is trying to do some tough love on his brother and father but I doubt either of them will ever acknowledge the poisonous atmosphere within the BRF and “Firm”. They’re both too entrenched in ignoring the obvious because of the perks of living in a gilded cage. By being brutally honest about the hell he and Meghan went through, he’s actually alienating his father and brother more and more. When you speak truth to power, power doesn’t like it because it shines a harsh light on a harsher situation.
We all know William is painfully jealous of Harry, mostly because he hasn’t Harry’s drive, focus, intelligence, compassion and goodness. He knows he’s skating along on nothing more than being FFK and that knowledge really rankles him. William also knows that when his father becomes King, he’s going to have to dance to daddy’s tune in order to attain the PoW title. He’s really caught between a rock and a hard place, but neither he nor Keen are equipped emotionally or mentally to carve a meaningful career of public service for themselves within the confines of the BRF. It’s a no-win situation.
I wrote a brief, positive and supportive comment regarding Harry on the DM site and this morning got an email saying so many people flagged/reported it that it was removed. Shocking-not-shocking.
But hard right conservatives will swear they despise “cancel culture.”
A thought on the seat belt issue; in my many years of being a driver and a!so at times a back seat passenger, I never failed to buckle up when in the front seat, as the seat belts were in view and easily accessible. In the back seat however, there were times that the trip was almost over while still trying to match buckle with clip. I can imagine in the dark of a Paris night, in an unfamiliar car, with the stress of being chased, that in trying to locate the seatbelt, she ran out of time.
I think that although the seatbelts “worked” they may not have fit around Diana. And the car screeched away from the Ritz so she could not adjust them. It seems the security guard was not as vigilant as he should have been, but it’s a moot point now since he has amnesia and cannot remember.
I am surprised the boys weren’t given therapy after losing their mother in such a violent way. William had the support of Kate’s family just a few years later. But Harry was all alone at a boarding school. That must have been so desperately sad.
William has never had real support from Kate’s family. He just has an opportunistic mother in law and her barnacle daughter and kids.
Nor were Harry’s learning challenges addressed promptly.
I think Diana is smiling. One of her sons is happy and growing/making the hard conversations come to the light!
Before I read all the comments wanted to post.
Harry (and Megan). If you’re reading this or if I met you in person I would tell you both how proud of you your Mum would be.
It’s always been you. You are the special one. You are your mothers son. You’re the one with high intelligence, sense of humor, grace, connection with others. A deep well of empathy and love. So happy you found your equal and someone who loves you for you.
You are an inspiration, Harry. May you, Megan, Archie and Baby Girl have peace, happiness and love for many many years to come. Full support and admiration for you both.
What @Lanne said is SO important. The vitriol aimed at Meghan is about misogynoir and the fact that a white man from the institution of royalty chose a woman with Black parentage as his partner. The horrible violence Meghan has been subjected to might have also included physical violence if both her parents were Black, or she were darker-skinned. People are losing their minds because she is cherished by him in a way that upsets their racist ordering of the world.
The horrible violence Meghan has been subjected to might have also included physical violence if both her parents were Black, or she were darker-skinned
I don’t think Meghan have made it down the aisle if she’d even looked like her mum!
This. I am pretty positive that if Meghan weren’t white-passing, there is no way consent would have been given for the engagement.
Jeebus! I hate how this effing phrase “white-passing” has been bastardised. “White-passing” is to ACTIVELY & deliberately NEGATE any part of yourself thats not white.
Its not abt how others see you. Its abt how u want them to see u. So wth tht explanation and wth Meghan’s own description of herself: (“I’m biracial”) theres no way on god’s green earth tht any intelligent person can say she’s “white-passing.”
Cut it out.
Agree with @Carmen-Jamrock. Meghan is not white passing has never presented herself that way, or covered up her racial background. There is a sad abs complicated history in this country of light skinned African Americans passing as white for many reasons, be it freedom, economic and professional opportunities or personal family reasons. Maybe what people mean is racially ambiguous, but she has never been white passing. Agree, they shouldn’t use that term.
This especially explains the outsized vitriol coming from non-black women… and blackfishing women on other forums who claim to be “reppin’ the sistahs.”
“if you knew, what I knew…”. Prince Harry. This is a glimpse.
I said it here, a couple of weeks ago, before the Oprah interview aired, that it seemed they wouldn’t stop until Meghan was dead, and perhaps I thought it was a very harsh thing to say. But they knew it too.
So Harry, you saw your mum in Meghan and you saved her. You became the person your mother needed and that’s the best way to honour her memory. You broke the cycle. It is a pity your brother believes the system is good for him and will pass the trauma on to his children. The way he treats his wife is already a Windsor trademark.
“So Harry, you saw your mum in Meghan and you saved her. You became the person your mother needed and that’s the best way to honour her memory. ”
This really gets you right in the feels. Such a great sentiment.
Wow, Harry going to release the truth himself. i hope that is going to shut them up. I hope they win their battle for a better mental health and for peace in their new life. It’s incredible the toxicity of how the media industry can make their life hell – this is criminal behaviour.
Good for him. Good for them. I like this brand for them, bringing conversations about mental health and childhood trauma, front and center. I’m here for it.
I really like “no f$$$ to give Harry. He is helping so many people and is so I afraid of his family. Good for both of them!
I feel for Harry and am glad he is out, but, please, let’s not forget that Dodi Fayed’s driver was THREE, T-H-R-E-E, times the legal blood alcohol limit in France.
Indeed. But why was a chauffeur heavily drunk while on the job? How does that happen? I never understood that.
He wasn’t supposed to drive them that night because the plan had been for them to stay at the Ritz. He got called in on the spur of the moment to drive them back to Dodi’s apartment when he decided the paparazzi were getting out of control. I wouldn’t characterize him as “heavily drunk”, there’s video of him waiting outside for Dodi and Diana to get in the car and he squats down to tie up a loose shoelace without a hint of a wobble. But the tunnel is very steep with a precipitous turn at the bottom (I’ve been there) and even one drink combined with excessive speed (Dodi kept urging him to go faster to outrun the paps) would have been cause for losing control of the car.
@jayna We know you hate Meghan
So on brand for you to try to say harry doesn’t know what he’s talking about
Haylie, from what l remember at the time when all this happened, Henri Paul was off duty drinking heavily and was called last minute to work. No one detected that he had too much to drink and he didn’t alert anyone that he was in no condition to drive.
Henri Paul’s family found the first sample of blood from him had been switched and it had to be retaken. The security guard who survived has amnesia and can’t explain why he let Paul drive.
Tessa, I did not know about the switch. And Jaded, you are saying what has always made me question the announcement of Henri-Pauls blood alcohol readings. There is nothing in that final video of him that gives the slightest indication of that level of drunken-ness. He just looks normal to me. When people say Diana got into a car with a drunk driver, I always think, well, from looking at that, how could anyone tell? And the bodyguard, he obviously didn’t think so either.
I really hate that my generation (“geriatric millennial”) was raised with so much stigma around mental health — it’s really caused us so much injury. My parents didn’t let me see a therapist because they were afraid a diagnosis was like a scarlet letter — which only reinforced the shame I was “supposed” to feel about early developmental trauma.
We all carry wounded babies inside of us, and it’s our responsibility to heal those babies instead of letting them leak out onto other people. Harry is wonderful for talking about this.
I watched the first two episodes and it’s heavy stuff. Of course, people are focusing on Harry, but the other stories are quite moving and true to life, especially Oprah.
and all this the misfit queen did nothing. her words should mean something but she never once spoke up.. i use to feel sorry or her. but she is just a puppet on a string. she never to this day stood up and protect harry.. kinda shock they let that demon see their child on zoom… behind that innocent look the queen show in public, she is nothing but a nasty heartless woman.
the queen did the same to diana. she wanted diana out. she never helped or protected diana. she allowed charles to fu ck camilla an diana should accept it …
the queen is a nasty woman, how can she hug meghan but at the same allow anyone to smear her to hell. that woman is evil. the smiling devil in public and a demon in private..
He really should sue for refund whoever his therapist is/was because it’s clearly not working!!
I read a guardian article about the Me you can’t see, and it was SO nasty! it’s really not just the tabloids. It was ghastly. These people have huge issues. They couldn’t even recognise a mental health doc when they see it. they gave it 2 stars out of five and the author started the review with: ‘I have been knocking back the anti-emetic medication since the trailer dropped’. I mean appalling
The Guardian & Observer have become very snide in the past few months about H&M. I’ve noticed it & have stopped reading articles on their site about the couple. I think they’re trying to drive up subscriptions because there’s no paywalll. Someone over there has identified negative Sussex stories as being key to driving engagement.
I agree with this comment, and have complained to the Guardian more than once. Their articles appear both biased against H and M and quite ignorant about what they’ve actually been doing. And they never allow comments on royal stories, so you can’t supply the facts. Eventually I stopped my subscription on account of this. I’m not supporting that. Very disappointed in the Guardian- seems like standards have slipped everywhere.
The Guardian reading lefty types in the UK are hating on the Sussexes for their multimillion dollar deals. That’s when I noticed the Guardian started to get snarky about them.
Seems like all UK media is tabloid media. Even the “legitimate” outlets.
Imagine writing that review with your full chest of a documentary where people talk about suicide attempts, rape (including child rape), abuse, being a child refugee, grief, etc.
The person who writes that is a monster.
The stuff about the English specifically and their emotional suppression is real. It’s one thing to be uncomfortable but they are downright nasty and hateful towards those who are actually in touch with their emotions.
In France it was well rated like 4,5 on 5 like really good and it was not biased for once cause I know journalists here seems to repeat ‘tabloids’ lies and also there is a hatred for American business and the way H&M signed those deals…
where is the the queen. she is the head of the firm and did nothing to help.. that bi tich is cold as ice. she played the loving grandmother then back stabbed them. the queen seems useless. all that fake crap,how she was nice to meghan in public, while she allowed others to get rid of meghan.. what a piece of sh it.
Agreed.
Unless it really is a situation where she has no control and Charles is the “Shadow King,” it’s her reign, her rule and her power.
She’s a nasty piece of work.
Betty’s appallingly petty actions in not allowing Harry to have a wreath laid on Memorial Day proved what she really is.
I hope this lays to rest the narrative that Meghan dragged Harry to America and kept him captive and wants all the publicity in the world with her Oprah interview.
This is all all Harry. It’s his plan. He is going nuclear.
What I’m uncomfortable is the sanctifying of Diana. Despite dating Hasnat Khan and Dodi We know she had ideas on class and wanting her child to be King. I would be worried that she might not have been welcoming to Meghan and would have wanted Harry to marry an aristo.
@Original Penguin
No one is deifying Diana and it’s farfetched to even assume YOU know how she might have received Meghan. I’d take Harry’s opinion before anyone else’s. Moreover, there has never been any indication that Diana was classist or elitist. What we will not do is rewrite our lived history.
Meghan was and is interested in charity work. A lot more so than Kate. I think Diana would have taken to Meghan. Plus Diana was an outsider and had she lived would have remained so, she would have sympathized with Harry and Meghan. I think Kate from “new money” is a lot more elitist than Diana was and seemingly a “stickler” for protocol, something Diana was not.
I’m not all into the Diana worship either, but for better or worse, she has left an indelible mark on the monarchy that they can’t seem to let go of. It seems everything they do is defined by her,whether wanting the next Diana, being afraid of another outsider like Meghan being another Diana in terms of media attention and jealousy, and how they treated her, and how the 2heira in waiting are defined by her. This recent BBC report came about because o f the Crown and Harry and Meghan leaving. The royals want to discredit both narratives and sweep their experiences under the rug, and attack. They’ll just get uglier and uglier with their tactics.
Lacey wrote of HM’s “teas with William” giving him advice. I think this was harmful, very harmful to William so much so he turned against his own brother.
Had to steal this tweet from tweeter Lynn, so much truth:
I’ve long thought William married the woman Charles thought Diana was.
Harry married the woman Diana was becoming.
Harry clearly won the marital stakes and in the end, it was the making of him. Harry became the man Diana, and all of us, wanted in our lives.
The truly sad thing about all this is the documentary, The Me You Can’t See, is really an excellent piece of work that speaks to those who suffer with MH issues. Harry’s piece is not small, but he isn’t disclosing state secrets. All the events he discusses are well documented, but the RF and the BM do want to control the narrative; though, they are woefully inept at even that. They should be thanking Prince Harry and his wife for again making the RF of that dismal isle relevant, but they would rather trash him for marrying a black woman who is an American. At this point, I am convinced most Britons are really salty and that’s one of the reasons their food is soooooo sooooo soooo bad.
I hope everyone tries to catch at least the first two episodes of this documentary. It’s good. It’s powerful. It’s relevant.
The British media are sleeping with some of the racist US press like Fox News, New York Post, etc. I Hate racist and biased Tucker C, Hannity, L. Ingraham, and all of Fox News anchors. Still hoping not all US media can be infiltrated by the evil British media to smear, demolish, and destroy prince Harry and Meghan’s global credibility and popularity. Hope they can look at them with justice and fairness and see through the vile and evil strategy of the UK media and William.
I have heard/read hundreds of women respond to Harry’s openness about his mental health struggles with “YES!” and “He’s such a good example to other men”, but are the MEN listening? I’d like to see him in more male-centric interviews spreading this message. Armchair Expert was a good start, but how about Joe Rogan’s show or others whose listeners may not be tuning in to Oprah.
Not Rogan!
I truly love the royal family. Harry and Meghan.
Sorry, but please: Harry has never called Diana “mom.” It’s mum!