Hulk Hogan’s ex-wife Linda bragged about how generous he was in their divorce settlement – and now it appears that generosity must have kicked Hulk in the crotch. Instead of lazing poolside through his retirement, Hulk is doing what most 56-year-olds do when they need a little extra cash: strapping on some tight latex outfits and hoping for the best.

In Hulk’s case, that means some quality time spent doing non-WWE wrestling down under. His first opponent: probably a wallaby.

Further proof divorces are really costly: 56-year-old Hulk Hogan will dust off his yellow and red wrestling gear for a tour of Australia this fall, which is already being advertised on Australian TV.

At least the reality TV star has the “age edge” in the match: His opponent, 60-year-old Ric Flair, is wrestling for the first time since losing a much ballyhooed “retirement” match for WWE in March 2008, which drew more than 74,000 fans to Florida’s Citrus Bowl. (We don’t think WWE owner Vince McMahon can be too thrilled about this.)

Other notable wrestlers scheduled for action on the tour are Diamond Dallas Page, and some of the Hulkster’s Hogan Knows Best guest stars, Brutus Beefcake and The Nasty Boys.

[From Radar]

I should clarify that Hulk isn’t really wrestling a wallaby: he’s wrestling a man dressed in a giant wallaby costume. Anything else would be ridiculous. After that there’s the man dressed as a kangaroo, then a koala… what else do they have in Australia? A man dressed as an armadillo. I’m not sure if they actually have those, but it seems like the really bizarre animals tend to chill in Australia and Texas, so it seems like a safe bet. Okay non of that is true, but how much more interesting would it be instead of The Nasty Boys? I don’t even want to know what happens there.

I have every confidence that Hulk will be able to ride out 80s wrestling nostalgia until the end of his days. I cannot tell you how many guys I know that are still obsessed with him/have his dolls. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, his figurines action figures. Much more masculine. If it weren’t for his son Nick the almost killer, I’d find this all somewhat amusing because I could just take Hulk on a superficial level and just be bemused. Hulk Hogan vs. spandex-clad wombat! Hulk vs. The Sugar Glider. That’s not the animal, that would be the guy’s nickname. He would fly through the air and land on his opponents. But really, what’s left for Hulk? He can wrestle for a bit longer, but soon he’s going to have to write a tell-all and spend all of his time signing copies at half-priced bookstores. Still in the spandex of course. That’s the only redeeming part of all this. The spandex.

Here’s Hulk Hogan at the Legends of Wrestling ‘Fan Appreciation Day’ in Chicago on July 10th. Images thanks to WENN.com .