Jessica Simpson is having the worst year ever, and now People Magazine, the Bible of What Celebrities’ Publicists Want You To Think, has actually written a story that makes her sound so… pathetic. First, let me say that I don’t think Jess is actually pathetic. I think she’s dumb. There’s a difference. And I do acknowledge that Jess has had one of the most craptastic years ever, from her very public weight gain, to the excessive media coverage of that weight gain; from her split with Tony Romo, to the crazy stories that came out after Tony dumped her; and everything else in between, some of it involving John Mayer, her dog Daisy being eaten by coyotes, and the failure of her country music career. There was a lot more, actually. Those are just some of the biggest crappy things to happen to Jess.

So People decided to do a story about how Jess might be in a “tailspin” and how, basically, Daisy’s death was the last straw for Jess’s fragile optimism and sanity. Daisy “gave her unconditional love” and “never betrayed her. Daisy was always there for her. This is serious. Jessica’s heart is broken.” I totally get that Jessica’s heart is broken with her dog’s death, but People is really laying it on thick:

After losing her beloved Maltipoo Daisy to a coyote attack, Jessica Simpson may be at the lowest point of her life, friends fear.

“Daisy was her baby,” one of them tells PEOPLE. “It’s going to put her into a tailspin. It will put her into the worst place ever.”

Daisy was snatched away by a coyote before Simpson’s very eyes in Los Angeles last week, and, despite Simpson’s refusal to quit searching and offer of a reward, no sign has been seen of the caramel-colored dog. She was given the dog by [her] then-husband Nick Lachey in 2004, and Jessica and Daisy became inseparable.

“She won’t leave her parents’ house,” a source says.

“Whenever things went wrong for Jessica, she reached for Daisy,” another source, a friend, says. “Daisy was her security blanket. When people let her down, she always had Daisy.”

On Sept. 19, her stylist pal Ken Paves convinced Simpson to finally leave her parents’ house. They went to Vino in Encino, Calif., for an attempt to perk her up.

“Jessica seemed okay, but wasn’t smiling much,” an onlooker says. “The wine made her relax a bit, but it was still obvious that she was having a devastating week.”

Daisy was perhaps one of the most pampered pets in Hollywood. Simpson fed Daisy steak, not dog food, and referred to herself as “Daisy’s Mommy.” When leaving the house, Simpson left on the air-conditioning for her dog; and when Daisy was sick, Simpson refused visitors so that they wouldn’t wake Daisy. She threw Daisy birthday parties, and when she talked about having a “girls’ night in” with a video, she was talking about herself and Daisy.

“Jessica has a very small inner circle,” the friend said. “But she always had Daisy. Daisy gave her unconditional love.”

And, unlike some of the men in her life, the friend added, “Daisy never betrayed her. Daisy was always there for her. This is serious. Jessica’s heart is broken.”

Whenever she was out at night, Simpson called home and had “someone put Daisy on the phone so she could say goodnight.”

“Daisy ran the household,” the friend said. “If Daisy didn’t like you, you were gone. Sometimes if her regular hair and makeup people weren’t available and Jessica had a sit-in, if Daisy didn’t like them, they wouldn’t be back. Daisy ran the roost.”

When Simpson was having relationship problems, “she would cry herself to sleep at night, using Daisy as a pillow.”

It won’t be easy to find a replacement, another friend said.

“Jessica is very needy. She is very clingy,” the friend said. “She is so sweet, but sometimes because of that she’s hard to be around. It’s not always easy. She hates to be alone. That’s what happened with [ex-boyfriend and Dallas Cowboys quarterback] Tony [Romo]. Jessica smothers people. She doesn’t really have any hobbies. Daisy was exactly what Jessica needed.”

Another source close to the actress dismisses the possibility of a tailspin as “silly,” but notes Simpson “did love (Daisy) like she was family.”

All of the sources agreed on one point: It’s been a tough year for Jessica Simpson.

“I want her to catch a break,” the first friend said.

[From People]

What kills me is that I bet this article started out as some puff piece, totally sympathetic to Jessica. When the writer started contacting Jess’s friends, they just went out of their way to make her sound like this total mess of a girl. Like the Calamity Jane of inter-personal (and inter-species) relationships. So… does Jess really “smother” people? Is she clingy and needy? Maybe. Once again, I don’t really think it’s an issue of being pathetic. I think she’s just not very bright. She should get another dog, and take up a hobby that isn’t too complicated. Like Solitaire.

Jessica Simpson is shown in the header on 9/3/09. She is also shown on 9/21/09 at LAX airport with Ken Paves (not shown). Credit: MATINGAS/bauergriffinonline.com