Ashley Tisdale has a lifestyle blog called frenshe. To be totally honest, I didn’t know frenshe was Ashley’s until today. I thought they’d scored this awesome exclusive with her because they kept getting great photos of the nursery and her daughter Jupiter. It’s a good blog, well put together and the topics are varied enough that I didn’t realize it was celebrity run. One of Ashley’s latest posts was about body after baby. Like most of Ashley’s revelations, it wasn’t the usual celebrity fodder of ohmygosh! Everything is perfect! Ashley is being honest about struggling with her new shape after giving birth to Juju in March. She says that she’s worked hard and lost some of the weight, but she’s not where she thought she’d be and she’s not where she thinks other new moms are. But she’s trying hard not to compare herself, especially to other women online.
I feel like this post is for everyone who looks in the mirror and thinks they should look better, especially after just having a baby. Instagram can really f-k with your head…like really f-k with your head. There are so many models and influencers that I’ve compared my own personal journey in “bouncing back” to. And then, I’m like wait they just had a baby and they look like that??
I was recently at a friend’s place and two moms who just had babies were there saying how great I looked and that they wished they could fit into jeans. Here they were thinking that I looked great and yet I’m at home looking in the mirror thinking I could look better. That’s when I realized we can’t compare our bodies to each other.
The bottom line: be kind to yourself and fill yourself up with love. It’s okay to set a goal and be inspired by others, but we should all truly love ourselves and our bodies in every season. It’s easier said than done and I know there have been stages in my pregnancy where I have felt uncomfortable. I’m still dealing with plantar fasciitis, but even I’m working on not comparing myself to others and their post-baby journeys. Love yourself first!
Ashley said that she’s “worked (her) butt off” and although she’s able to get into some jeans again, she’s not the size she used to be. She echoed the adage, “it takes time growing the baby and it takes time losing the baby weight.” I know that sounds simplistic, but it is true. Ashley’s right, whether it’s new moms or anyone else, people need to stop comparing their bodies against those around them, especially what they see online. Ashley said that “everyone is going to have a different journey” and that’s also true. We shouldn’t ask ourselves why don’t I look like her? We should ask ourselves what our journey is and how far we’ve come. Now, I say that, but I wish I knew how to put it into practice because the truth is, I beat myself up all the time.
I want to speak to the jeans thing, though. I found a pair of maternity jeans that I adored. They had two side stretch panels rather that a top band and they looked great at every stage of pregnancy. I loved them so much, I was almost sorry when I couldn’t wear them anymore. So find your jeans, moms. Seriously, I didn’t ever worry about fitting into other jeans as a result. Because I had a pair that made me so happy, I really did wake up one day (many, many months post birth) only to realize I fit back in regular jeans again.
Photo credit Instagram
My old granny used to say that your only meaningful competition is with yourself.
Maternity jeans are the true love of my life. When I lost weight and could no longer fit them I was depressed.
Glad Ashley is on her journey to body acceptance. Post partum pressure to “bounce back” is gross.
One of my friends swear by them. She hasn’t stopped buying/wearing them since her pregnancy… 5 years ago! She just says they’re too comfy to give up
Your friend is wise!
Ugh I can’t wait to wear jeans again. I’m 7 months pregnant with twins and sometimes even regular maternity clothes are too small!
I feel you!
I remember that well ( my twins are 20 now )! I’m naturally short- waisted, and I was told by a friend that I looked like an apple with arms and legs in my last couple months. I slept in a recliner toward the end because sleeping in a bed was just uncomfortable… something in the way of five separate maneuvers just to turn over on my other side… mine were 6#10 and 6#1 at 38 weeks. There were no cute maternity clothes back then. We lived in Maine at the time, and I never zipped a coat all winter because I was so warm all the time.
Best of luck for an uneventful delivery and happy, healthy babies ( and mama ).
Best of luck, Tootsie, with the delivery. From another mum of twins x
I loooved my maternity jeans! I got to wear them for about 4 months after birth because despite general weight loss my body was just different. I was always slim but it still took about a year before my body was close to pre-pregnancy. Some changes stayed but at this point of my life I don’t care. I made peace with the fact that I’m not willing to spend 6h/week in the gym trying to change this 10%. I prefer to rest after handling work and my sweet toddler. My husband hasn’t lost his pre-pregnancy weight and it doesn’t look like he looses sleep about it!
Good for her. Not to sound like a brat but I could fit into my regular clothes as soon as I had my baby. I didn’t have to buy any maternity clothes, I just wore my regular yoga pants and flowy skirts and dresses the last few months. I’m naturally tall and lean and stay active. My abs were back within a few weeks and I wore crop tops since it was summer. Ashley looks very fit to me. I remember in my 20s I worked on an office with women having babies and they would gain 60+ pounds and just eat McDonalds and the free sodas out office gave out and I’m not usually judggy about what others eat but I do think (maybe mainly in the US) we have this notion that it’s fine for women to gain tons of weight over pregnancy and no one better say a thing. Most of my co workers ended up having risky deliveries and tough recovery because our bodies aren’t meant to gain and carry around that much extra weight. I feel like in the US we either expect moms to snap back in a matter of weeks or be fine with gaining 100 extra pounds. Can’t we just find a healthy in between?
Lunasf17. I had twins and put on just under two stones, that includes two sacs and two placentas. I exercised throughout, up until the day before they were delivered. Until six months you couldn’t really tell I was pregnant. I never wore maternity wear and left the hospital in clothes I’d worn before I got pregnant. I was incredibly slim and had a snap back abdomen. My twins were a really good weight for twins and there was no need for extra hospital time. Yes, like you, I sometimes feel there’s this expectation that the average mum on the street goes into a body freefall when she’s pregnant, thinking she’s eating for two etc. However, I was never sick and wonder whether that had something to do with not needing to refuel or overfuel. And I do think a lot of it is also body shape. I am really tall with a big rib cage. I think somehow this allowed my twins to develop in a large space, if that makes sense. They seemed to swim up into a readymade cavity. As you can see from the twin mums above, my experience was unusual.