Variety is reporting that three Bravo reality “stars” are getting their own separate television projects. I barely know two of these people, and I really wouldn’t care about their shows even if they features a naked Gerard Butler offering me his wang dipped in chocolate. Actually… scratch that. I’d totally watch that show. Why have I not been hired as a television programmer yet? The two people I don’t give a crap about are Bethenny Frankel (one of the New York “housewives” who was neither a wife, nor did she stay at home) and Fabio Viviani (one of the contestants on Season 5 of Top Chef – I’m sure my mom will know who he is). Whatever. I’m sure their shows will crash and burn, especially Bethenny’s. She’s a delusional whack-job, and she doesn’t come across well on television (unlike, say, all of the other delusional whack-jobs who do come across well).

The real news is about the third announced show – which will be built around Project Runway’s Season 4 winner Christian Siriano! According to Variety, the show will focus on Christian’s efforts to “set up a new shop and market his clothing line.” I really hope they call the show “Tranny Hot Mess”. Or something about “fierce” which is his signature compliment.

Bravo is developing three new projects starring some of the cabler’s recent breakout reality stars: Bethenny Frankel, Christian Siriano and Fabio Viviani.

All three reality vets will star in docuseries that focus on their lives and careers, according to Bravo VP/general manager Frances Berwick.

The untitled show starring Frankel, from the channel’s “The Real Housewives of New York City,” will showcase her career as a natural foods chef, as well as the Gotham socialite’s love life.

The flamboyant Siriano, who won season four of “Project Runway” (back when the show still aired on Bravo), will be featured in his show as he sets up a new shop and markets his clothing line.

Viviani will star in “Fabio: A Catered Affair,” which will chronicle the challenges he faces as he and business partner Jacopo Falleni look to expand their restaurant and catering business in Los Angeles. Viviani was a “Top Chef” finalist in season five.

Magical Elves, which produces “Top Chef” and formerly produced “Project Runway” (including Siriano’s season), will produce the “Fabio” and Siriano projects. Shed Media U.S., which produces “The Real Housewives of New York City,” is behind the Frankel project.

[From Variety]

Christian was built for stardom, in my opinion. He’s so strange-looking, yet cute and adorable. He’s got the original Kate Gosselin hair, and he’s barely five feet tall. He’s also got an incredible work ethic, he’s got talent oozing out of his pores, and he’s very, very professional. Even when he was really stressed out on Project Runway, he just kept his head down and did his work without bitching and moaning and being a big baby. Even though he was known for some of the most hilariously bitchy things ever uttered on Project Runway, he really wasn’t as tough and punk as he wants people to think. He’s a sweetheart, and I can see people totally falling in love with him on his own show.

Bethenny Frankel is shown on 9/17/09. Christian Siriano is shown on 6/11/09, 5/31/09 and 5/3/09, with Kristen Johnston. Credit: WENN.com